Uv just described virtually my relationship. U should leave. I know i should to. Its just finding that strength. X
I just come out of a copy of what ur goin thro … I feel 4u I really do … the best medicine at the moment pack an pack an get the kids an get the dog or cat an dont 4get the car ur heart will heal eventually mine will take a little longer I miss my grandbabys… but they grow up an see maybe I still love them an want them in my lifes… see these thing has steps u take might be baby steps here me an ull never regret it… go an go now or live an die broken dwn to nothing first there then ur health then u have nothing to start over with but hey I will be here 4u I’ll see u threw this… there kno charge god bless ya 
This is domestic abuse. I would leave for the sake of yours and your children’s mental health. Children learn from their parents and can mimic their behaviour.
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Girl… you really need help with this one?? He’s cheating and no, he doesn’t love you
Give him an ultimatum, if he wants to save the marriage he needs to put in the effort, if not, you walk out that door xx
How have you managed 12 years with him is what I wanna know he sounds like an absolute pig! 
get rid n move in hun he’s clearly messing I wouldn’t waste another second on.him.xx
Leave him. Period. I am so sorry about you father. But there are no justifications for your husbands actions. As hard as is, leave. Now.
I Married A Man Who Didn’t Love Me. We Had 2 Sons Together. I Divorced Him And Took Our Sons 1,200 Miles Away. He Paid His Child Support Every Month And Kept Health Insurance On Them. He Never Called And He Never Visited Them. One Is A Marine And The Other Is A Cop And He Never Came To Either Ceremony.
I feel horribly sorry for you! You are in a heartbreaking situation for sure. You sound as if you are as you said yourself, his live in housekeeper and nanny. My questions for you would be “what do you get from him, what does he do for you?” I don’t know your age or financial situation, but I do know you sound as if you already know what you should and want to do at this point in your life. I know that as each day passes you are growing older and you only have one life. Don’t waste your precious life waiting on a man who obviously doesn’t care about you. As my mom and I both agree on, if he’s not intimate with you, he’s being intimate with someone else. A man is a man and this one is using you. Don’t walk, run from this man! He may not be abusive physically but, he is abusing you mentally. Your self worth is continually being attacked and you definitely deserve much better than this despicable man! God bless you as you decide what is best for you! Hands down he needs to go.
You are worth more than he is giving you! 
Doesn’t sound like what a marriage should be like. You’re both missing out on a lot. Have you tried counseling?
Please don’t waste another second of your life on him. At the very least, that’s a shit role model to his children of how to treat someone you’re meant to “love”. So if you won’t do it for yourself, do it for your kids. What a pig of a man. Go find you some love 
Dump him now. You are not happy wih him and he doesn’t give a toss about you.
Once you come to terms with this you will find happiness again.
Believe me. I was you over 40 years ago.
Every year you spend there is missing out on the chance for real love someday. The things you describe would not be acceptable to me. Good luck.
Would you want your daughter to be married to someone like him🥺if your answer is NO then you Need to set a better example for your children that your husband’s behavior is unacceptable, and if he hasn’t changed in 12 years man you’ve wasted a lot of time
Head high and move on, you won’t change a narcissist, if he makes you feel that you have to come on here and even ask how he feels its time to move on and love yourself. Be the best move you ever make. 
I don’t know why your asking for advice its right there in front of you. He doesn’t care about you. It sounds like the only person he cares about is himself. You saying he doesn’t have time to cheat. If someone wants to cheat they will find a way. Either leave him or stay with him but stop doing for him. Live your life for you. Do you work? If you don’t get a job. You might get his attention if you stop letting him walk all over you.
You know the answer and it’s doubtful anyone here will encourage you to stay. When you’ve exhausted all efforts, move on.
I just got to cheating and all I can say is however you can start preparing to leave ASAP
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You know what you want and need from him. Ask him what he wants and needs. If they are not the same answer,then it’s time for him to go.
Run as fast as you can girl. This just isn’t fixable in my opinion.
I think the answer is clear! How much more disrespect are you going to put up with? So many women stay in shitty relationships and its sad. Where is your self respect and dignity? You’re obviously waiting for something he obviously does not plan on giving. Are you going to waste another 10 years?
Oh lady!! I think you have tried enough. It will be hard at first with the kids? How old? But you will be happier inside and outside not thinking about it anymore. The whys?? It’s not worth it and hunny I don’t think he will change.
You know the answer…you need nothing from any of us…the only thing worse than being alone, is being with someone and being totally alone.
Yeah clearly the husband does not give a shit about you. Only reason y’all together is because you got knocked up so early.
He is an adulterer …I would be more concerned about that then not getting flowers…if he is texting other women you can be sure there is more going on them texting.take it from me whose husband did similiar things and finally had an affair with a friend from church and left me after 26 years … instead I should have left him years earlier before he he did things to my daughters that Ididn’t know about till they were adults…yes I forgave him later but you should think more of yourself and your children but don’t ever tell him ahead of time if you do plan on leaving cause some men get violent to prevent you from doing it …get some professional help
Easy…. There are billions of people on the planet… why TF are settling for anyone that does not treat you and your family with the utmost respect and decency. Run, then get someone that has an ounce of respect.
First I’m sorry about your loss second it’s time to leave him if he loved you he would do something and him getting mad when you bring stuff up is showing you he doesn’t care to change and won’t change. Plus if he cheated that quick in the beginning of your relationship odds are he is only there because you were pregnant and I know that this hurts but your wasting your time when you could be with someone who treats you a princess
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Run…… my ex was the same way…. I opened a credit card statement and there were charges for flowers that I never got. We were together 6 years and married for 3. He never got me anything for Christmas. Only a kiss on the head on the way out to work…. And my sister passed in her sleep the night before our wedding and he would just rush over it like it didn’t matter and years later didn’t understand why it affected me…. She left 2 kids, a husband… was only 41… unexpected. He was not there for me but then saw texts that he was supportive to the neighbor woman who got divorced… even saying “your so lucky your divorced”.
He’s cheated, he flirts. Get rid of him. You deserve better. He’s now emotionally cheating on you… having feelings for another woman. You don’t need that!
Leave him girl youll either find a man that will love you and you kids or you’ll kick ass as a single mama either option sounds better than this shit. You deserve better
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You should have ran away three children ago. Get out while you can and someone wonderful.
Why are you still with him? He treats you like that cause you let him!
Oiy! You are in quite the situation. I feel that you have a major decision to make. Your relationship seems to be stagnant. I gather your husband is a very personable man. And based on his text reports, enjoys giving moral support and friendship too his peers. I’m guessing… he needs to be needed. I would suggest that
1- assess your own feelings.
- write out the characteristics you like about him…
- what does he do to meet your needs?
- what kind of a father is he?
2- write out the things that brought you together. Things you enjoyed, places you went and did together.
3-now, Commit to a 3-month trial time… and during these 3-months …. Make it a point to daily express gratitude to your husband. Write little thoughtful messages and put them in random places, his lunch, his shirt pockets, on the mirror, at his work desk, in the car… etc.
…… when you first both get home from work, go to him… hug ( if comfortable) give him some dedicated time to say Hello, ask about his day… take a personal interest in those things he shares. If your family is demanding when you first get home…… take the time after dinner, or before bed…and talk with him. Take a personal interest in him.
….invite your hubby to join you. For a stroll, to the store, and remind him how much you enjoy his company.
…. Set-aside a weekly Date Night. Walk around the mall, go to a movie, take a hike… whatever the two of you enjoy. Be sure to use this time to appreciate him, tell him what he does for you…. And flirt!… play!
He never loved you… if he did the thought of even talking to other women, wouldn’t exist… not like that and he did worse
Everybody is telling you to leave but from a different view do you have a job? Make him leave the house not you? Make copies of everything you own, title to cars, bank accounts, tax returns . EVERYTHING. Your entitles to 6 years of alimony 1/2 length of marriage. Just be smart about how you proceed men like that hide assets, and will lie about everything. Im a paralegal seen it happen over and over…just saying…
You’re not important to him. Im sorry to say this pero that is the truth he is not afraid to lose you.
Firstly I’m sorry for the loss of your dad 
.
Secondly you need to put yourself and your kids first.
He shows you nothing by the sounds of it but your always there for him, if he can show other people care but not you then that’s not your fault that’s him he sounds as though he just cares for himself and his friends.
I would personally leave and start living my own life.
It’s scary the thought of been on your own but I promise you you will feel better go and live your live.
Good luck you can do this 
Long past time to leave. Nothing for you from him. So unless you really like your lifestyle LEAVE and find another lifestyle that suits you better. More people in the world
Are you willing to live with yr heartache forever? That is your question
Sounds emotionally unavailable. Maybe couples counseling?
If what you are saying is true you need to dump him… But there’s always two sides…
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I recently ended my marriage to the female version. Get out. You’ll be better off by far and won’t miss anything because it was never there to begin with.
In my opinion, a man who cheats “emotionally” is giving his heart to that woman and that’s worse than a man who cheats for sex only.
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You aren’t happy And divorce is extremely attainable these days. From what I read there is no reason to continue this marriage
You can keep on making a million excuses so that you don’t have to face the truth but it is staring you in the face. Deal with it or keep on ignoring it.
Get a divorce before this man makes you feel completely worthless
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I’d say he’s got someone else or lining someone up. Prepare to leave or he leaves.
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I’m curious to know how he is as a father? Do you have any close girlfriends?
Follow your gut… a women’s intuition is never wrong… your not going crazy he clearly has no respect nor love for you… you’ve answered your own question with what you’ve written…imagine if someone you knew told you this was happening to them…what advice would you give them?
Personally I believe it’s better to be single and happy rather than a loveless relationship…
Also condolences for your father 
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Cut your losses and start o er. You KNOW he doesn’t love you. He was trapped.
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Gosh, leave hun xx Be the better person… You deserve to feel loved xx
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Red flags txting other women…why are you still there
Maybe you’re with the wrong person?
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I was married to someone like him but didn’t have children with him. He used to do the same thing with women he worked with. He was very caring with them but not with me. I was exhausted from doing EVERYTHING to keep our house clean and organized. I earned more than him and that made him jealous. The marriage lasted 5 years and that was 5 years too long. My advice to you? You’ve wasted 12 years. He’s not going to change. Get out while you’re still young enough to find love with someone else.
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Start saving for your own place with the kids.
Let him have his private life.
Time for you to live honey xxx
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Good advice coming at you. All I have to say is:
What you allow, WILL continue. 
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Aww Sis, focus on your kids & yourself… it doesn’t sound like he’s the one for you. Save your own mental health & your heart. Find someone to Love you… I hope you find happiness…
You knew the answer before you asked, didn’t you?
air hugs I’m sorry you’ve dealt with that for so long. I would suggest, tell him you want a separatation, that even though married, you felt alone and you can’t do it anymore. Please, know your Worth and you do have Value. I pray and send you good vibes, hope whatever road you take, works out for you. 
I feel like I just read my life with my ex! My kids dad…. Leave sweetheart you will be happier you can be on your own and find someone who will treat you as a QUEEN!
You need to get a life outside of your husband. Join a group that does charity work. Volunteer join the Lions. Get your own network. Maybe he thinks he knows everything there is to know about you. Men like to pursue a woman who is independent and desirable. Get caught accidentally watching porn. Go out to Lunch with a friend. Don’t say who. Don’t answer your phone straight away.
I have to say, after reading this, he is very selfish. You will NEVER change him. Waiting around for it to change, will just waste more time. You deserve much, much better treatment from your partner/husband. By his choice, you are both very disconnected. I think that I would file for divorce and ask him to move out. You have tried to engage in conversation, etc… He obviously DOES NOT respect you. Please let him go. Best of luck and God bless.
You don’t deserve this - you have to make time for you, do you have girlfriends - go out enjoy your life. Let him see you can be independent then watch him change.
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Love yourself enough to know you deserve better then this♡
Life is too short for that bullshit. GO FIND SOMEONE WHO LOVES YOU. YOUUUUUUU COME FIRST
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Read what you wrote and ask yourself this do I want to live like this anymore… Or find someone who will give to be what I need life is to short to live like this nothing better then to fill arms around you that wants to be there…
WhT a nasty piece of work. That is emotional abuse. Time to leave him for yours and your kids sake and please get some counselling.
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All im saying is that you deserve to be showered with love.
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Wow, I’m so sorry that you are living thru this…
Please know that I don’t want to cause you more pain, but, I know that you know in your heart that this person has no love for you, you really don’t believe that he is not having sex with women at work? A cheater will Always find a way to Cheat! Not only that, but you really really need to look up the definition of a sociopath!!! Somewhere deep inside you need to pull yourself up and see Reality! Why are you allowing yourself to be used in such a demeaning way??
I wish only the best for you.But, I’m sure you will just continue to brush off all these demeaning acts & continue doing what you’ve been doing all these years, so very sad. If Anyone treated me like this I would erase them from my life, & make damn sure they never never ever came near me or spoke to me again!
The question is not what’s wrong with him, rather, what’s wrong with you?
Prayers…
You don’t NEED his love…You need your own love… when you learn to love yourself, you will easily know how to look after yourself and keep yourself in healthy situations which are good for you.
Start now… don’t wait for him to change because YOU can’t change him but you can change your own reactions to this situation…
Think about what makes you feel joy (nothing related to him). Take up a hobby which feeds your soul… kayaking was mine but it could be anything… learning to draw or paint or play a musical instrument or writing a book or poetry - anything that puts you in touch with your soul…
Every time you feel the pain of grief from your loss, or loneliness in your relationship or anything which is painful turn to yourself, to your hobby or to your passion and pour yourself into it.
Don’t wait around for his or anyone else’s love and respect - you are worth all of that already.
Finding an objective person/professional to discuss all of this with will help your tremendously but the most important thing you can do is take action… write a list of goals/dreams you have for yourself and next to each write the very first step you need to take to achieve it, then the next step etc etc… it’s better to break that action plan up into small, measurable steps and systematically achieve each one until you reach your goals…
Learn to love yourself and you will find the love you need
He doesn’t love you, swallow the bitter truth and plan your exit.
Get far away from him…emotional abuse!! You and your children will find peace without him.
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I feel the emotional pain that you are enduring. I think you know what you need to do for your own sake. I don’t know you but I will not hesitate to say that you deserve better. I truly hope you find someone who will love you the way you deserve to be loved.
There is way better out there , I don’t even know why you are still there . You deserve happiness too
Problem! Taking him back after he cheated! He has no respect for you!
Girl, he doesn’t love you. Periodt.
Abort mission.
Oh honey leave your deserve so much better. Find a man who loves you for you. Hugging kissing affection is what you need. This man doesn’t appreciate you.
Simple: Ask him this…Are you in love with me Or do you love me…you will see it in his face and eyes…
This was so sad 
you already know the answer. It’s time to leave.
Wow you deserve so much better than that…
Leave. You are worthy and valuable and deserve to be treated with respect. This guy is a mess
This is so sad. You deserve so much better.
What the hell girl! Get rid of the jerk. Do you want to be loved and appreciated? You deserve to be. Obviously you don’t love him and he doesn’t love you. Talk to him. Tell him you feel it would be best if you split. Work out child visitation and support. Find a life before it’s to late. Even if it doesn’t involve another man now, it may or may not in the future. But learn to respect and love yourself. Be happy, life is short.
If you have to ask you already know, trust yourself❤️
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Time to go!!! Soo sorry for the loss of your Dad:heart:
Damn girl you should have left 12 years ago.
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Waste of time. Get rid and be happy sweetheart xx he doesn’t deserve you
Im a man and I’m telling you get rid of him contact a lawyer don’t stay and suffer anymore with this poor excuse of a man
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Time to leave my dear, or better still, time for him to leave . Don’t waste your life with someone who obviously doesn’t want to be with you.
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Just tell him u want a divorce and see his reactions from there u will know wat to do
I’d catch a charge.
I’m here if you wanna reach out. You need to get out. You’ll be so much happier
Yeah nah get rid of him. Don’t waste your life waiting for him to love you. Get out.
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Get rid of him before he gives you an STI. You are wasting time with him that could be spent with someone who loves and deserves you. Xo
Read Non-Violent Communication &/or 5 love languages - if you apply those lessons & it doesn’t get better 
at least you know you have your all
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Love you??? He doesn’t even like you!!! He would probably have no issue if you ended the marriage!
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Find somebody who will love you like u deserve
You deserve better. Time to move on.
Idk why *NSYNC Bye Bye bye just blasted thru my head.
Leave him. If you seriously gotta ask the question “does he even love me”…. Leave him!
I’m just confused on why you waited till after 3 kids:woman_facepalming: when you were questioning it after the first!! 
LEAVE!!! Everyday your stuck with him is a day away from a happy you.
That sounds like my husband and I feel like I’m in your shoes