Leave immediately, start dating. You will get love you deserve.
Divorce him and find someone who care about you
Time to leave honey. You deserve way better. Don’t settle for less! 
Believe his actions, not his words hunnie. It’s time to end it in sorry to say. X
OK so I stopped reading this half way thru as I was just getting angry/sad for you. For starters you need someone who will be there for you emotionally and visa versa. I’m sorry you lost your dad and you need to go thru the grieving process to help you heal and that includes having ppl in your life that will support you and empower you. It’s easy to say “if that were me” but it’s not me it’s you, you need to think about what’s best for you and your mental well being, if there’s no love and no trust it will soon turn toxic and start affecting your kids if it hasn’t already, kids see and hear a lot more than we think. It seems he would have no problem moving on if you were to leave. Good luck with what ever you chose and find a support network so you don’t have to go it alone
I think you know the answer already , go with it.
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Throw him out!!
Before you do, sit him down & make him listen to everything you got to say, unleash the angry in you, stand your ground if he tries to interrupt THEN throw his ass out to the street. And don’t believe anything he’s got to say if he tries to wiggle back in, it will be only lies!!!
Save your$$$$ and get out
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Go now nothing lost here, get yourself a life x
Marriage counseling may help you decide whether you want to stay in this cold relationship.
It’s very hard to take when you love someone and they don’t love you.
TAKE YOUR KIDS AND LEAVE HIM!!?
Yeah, even if he does love you “in his own way,” that’s still unacceptable and if you aren’t happy, why stay?
I know it’s rarely as easy as just leaving - especially when you have kids, but speaking as a former child from a broken home with parents who obviously didn’t love each other - we all would’ve been happier and better off without him, my father, in our lives.
I hope you do what’s right for you and your own happiness & sanity because life is too short to have to guess if your own spouse loves/cares about you.
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He is a callous man if I were you I’ll show him the door.
Get some help for both of you or just you,That a lot of years to throw away.
He ain’t into you find someone who is
Sleep in your own bed get support
I don’t think it will work make a new life
This man is toxic…you find a counselor and prepare to leave him…reread what Diana Chan said…she is absolutely correct.
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Honey…leave and leave now. Hes wanting a live in maid/nanny. I’m sorry for your loss and for him to sit there and say you have had a day to grieve and you need to get back to normal is sh*tty on his part. So many red flags. Please run
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Your husband sounds like an arse! You deserve better 
Get him out of your life, he doesn’t deserve you
Send this shit to Delilah, she’ll play a song for ya
He is doing everything to let you know he is not wanting you any more and you just will not go.
Well are trying to help. We don’t know his side but She should leave him . No one should take his shit.
Dump him right now and find someone who appreciates your worth
Time for you to live your life, start planning to leave.
Take care of yourself, don’t live in misery.
Get out now you waited way to long as is.
Leave the rude bum, he doesn’t deserve you.
Divorce him, do things that make you happy, live for you. He doesn’t give a crap about anything but himself. He doesn’t deserve you.
Ummm, you saw him texting other women, kids or not he needs to go. As a human, you’re better than that and deserve better. And it is as easy as it sounds.
Oh dear, the writing is on the wall, if you work outside the home start putting money aside on a bank account in your name only. Prepare yourself to be independent of him. It’s obvious he is not in love with you and his interests lay elsewhere, stop questioning yourself, if he never did anything nice for you in the last 12 years he is not going to do it now. He is using you now to keep the house and take care of the kids.
Find a job, start doing things for yourself, things that makes you feel good, and start loving yourself.
, the world doesn’t biguin and or ends with him, you deserve better.
If after loosing your father he was so cold and uncaring … he needs to go.
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Go file for a divorce make Him leave the house after all He is already mentally gone. Get child support alimony and and You can get half of everthing depending on what State You are in. You deserve happiness and are entitled to a decent live of Love and respect. If You want there is always just a legal separation to give Him time to prove His Love for You or to show You it will never work in Your favor. Take a stand today not next week. Yesterday would of been better. Good luck.
My girl, he checked out a while back n from d looks of things i dont think he will be checking in again. I think your check out hour has passed too.
I’m crying for you! How horrible is that? 
Kick him the f out and live your best life
Your description of him says it all. You know what you need to do. Either you leave or have him leave. Being married and living with someone like that is abuse! It’s horrible. I’ve had many arguments with my husband about many things in the past but it was never about anything you described. My heart is with you.
If you stay you will be unhappy but if you leave him, get ready for the shit show. Being a single mom isn’t easy but many women do it. You have to do what is right for you and your children.
Set him free so you can be free. It’s the only way.
As long as you continue to accept things the way they are , he WILL NEVER CHANGE.
I walked away from my first and second marriage. The third time was my charm.
I’ve been with my husband 15 years and we go out all the time. We hold hands. We lay on the sofa and watch movies.
When my father passed away back in 09, he was there for me.
When 2 of our pets passed away, we were there for each other.
After a long tough day at work and he walks in feeling defeated I hug him. When I feel defeated he hugs me.
I wish you the best with whatever decision you make.
I don’t know you but hugs
You got this!
Leave him and pay no attention to him at all! 
File for a divorce and never look back. He don’t give a flying f…k about you.
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YOU are not his doormat……
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Why are you with him
Time to leave, you know it.
I just left this exact same scenario, without children between us however. Eight years of wondering what was wrong with me. Wasted eight years. So glad I left. I got to where I had no feeling for him at all. Just up and bought a house and left him. Wish I did it years ago.
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Let it go. You’ve put in your time being a good wife. Time waits for no one and you’re not getting any younger. Someone better will come along. Have faith and.pray.
The Tomb is a warm and friendly place when compared to the lonely marriage bed…
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Leave. Or you’ll just waste more time and end up more hurt
Wow what made you stay so long
He treats you like dirt he should tell you what’s going on or he can get his ass out…… be firm
Sounds like it’s time to leave .Get out while your still young !
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He’s def not in love his thought process is it’s cheaper to keep her. Basics u have a roommate
Perhaps you would be better off if you left him, I would suggest talking with him and telling him how you feel and what you need… If he is not able to give you what you need perhaps leaving him so you have a chance at meeting someone who you can be happy with would be best for you…
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I was married to a man like your husband for 18 years and I can tell that it will only lead to a divorce… don’t waste anymore of your life because one day you’ll wake up and your young life will over !! He will never get better !! When he had sexual encounter would have
This marriage needs immediate counseling. Expect 6 visits to a counselor.
Most marriages like this can be saved but both must participate.
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Sounds like it’s basically all over except for the actual breakup. Sorry.
Sit back. Think. What would you tell a friend going through this? How long do you want to live like this? When was the last time you smiled? Laughed? Good luck!
You don’t have to take that… Tell him to shape up or ship out.
…… you need to leave 
Honey, you ARE deserving of happiness, gifts for every occasion, hugs, cuddles, kisses, love and everything beautiful in life. But you have to love yourself first. Your husband is toxic. When you love yourself enough, you will realize this and know that you deserve so much better…even if it’s just being on your own. Only when you love yourself, you will attract the right kinda love to yourself. Forget him, you focus on you.
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RED FLAG GIRL you know something is wrong…trust your gut!! Get out and get happy!! GOOD LUCK
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Time to leave sweetheart. Clearly jes only around for his kids . Not for u.
So.e men are like that. Stick around cause they love the kids but not the mother.
Facel, NO SEAMAN…tu tampoco te amas
Wow…I have so much in common with this woman.
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He sounds like a loser to me
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You are wasting your time. Take kids and file for divorce. He doesn’t care about you.
You just wrote down everything you need to know.
Best of luck to you.
So sorry, everything you said sounds horrible.
Wash your hands, lady! You deserve better!
It’s time you face reality and move on!
Ok you are not over thinking! Move on!!
Wow… Sounds like a jerk. Move on Hunni
get a lawyer & get out!! ~
Don’t waste anymore of your time on that jerk. Divorce him. Once your kids are grown, he will dump you. He doesn’t deserve you. Good luck.
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Everybody deserves to be happy. Kick that bum to the curb and find yourself a real man.
You deserve better dump this bum and go find a better life rite after you clean him out in divorce court he takes you for granite and is abusive for not hearing you
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Absolutely YUCK!! I won’t say anything more then you deserve better, he’s a cheating dog and you have given him enough of yourself!! Leave and find someone who will adore you, I promise you this is exists and someone will adore you, it’s just not him!!
Leave him because he has mentally and emotionally already left you…
Cut him loose! Get child support and send him on his merry way.
Sorry, but that just blows my mind how one human could treat another their supposed to love. Sweety, you need to move on & start over. Find your soul mate, because this guy your with is a loser. To not console u after your fathers passing, but can console a co worker over losing her mother… no way! I would feel betrayed. I hope you realize what your worth.
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Gut neva lies…u know the answer…otherwise you wouldnt be writing this…kick his ass to the kerb
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You are throwing away your youth, health from stress and a happy future by staying with this jerk, yes jerk because he doesnt deserve to be called a man. Your teaching & showing weak, no self respect to the children…your son will treat women bad & a daughter will think this abuse is normal for her. Go to a lawyer, get your bank account in your name and put cash in your pocket!
You deserve better. End of!
He’s a tw@t - sorry, but it’s true.
Pack those bags and find someone who values you the way they should.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I have been with my husband for 12 years but I don't think he loves me: Advice?
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He doesn’t love you. The fact he gave you less than a day to mourn, before suggesting y’all carry on as usual proves it. Yes that’s as far as I got. I got so sad for you I had to stop. Get an attorney and work out a custody schedule.
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I don’t know how you wrote all those issues out and then continued to ask yourself if you’re overthinking… you are not overthinking. I’m gonna be straight forward and say, he doesn’t love you. There’s so many different types of “love language”, but this is not one. Prepare yourself to be a divorced solo mother, you deserve better than this poor excuse of a husband.
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Total piece of shit you deserve so much better an so do your kids he is a selfish piece of shit dont waste anymore of your time life is to short get out while you can make a better life for your family an you will find that special person an someone that will cherish you an your kids an have your happyly ever after God bless an best wishes for a happy healthy life
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Life is too short to spend it being miserable. Putting up with this disrespect shows your kids that they don’t have to respect or love their mate. He would have been gone a log time ago if it were me. You deserve to be loved and respected, you need to feel support and compassion. Dump the creep and quit settling for less than what you deserve. Your kids learn love and respect from their parents. They learn how to treat a partner by what they see in you and your partner.
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People who cheat don’t usually stop. You have both become comfortable in your relationship! Just cuz you want him to be more attentive and shower you with gifts doesn’t mean it will happen! The biggest killer of relationships is “unmet expectations”. You continue to set yourself up for disappointment while blaming him for it! Communication is the key!!
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So sorry for your loss of your Dad and the loss of you. You should never settle for less. You have friends, siblings, start talking to them to get out and where you can go to get help. If you don’t think you can do that you need to start working on it. You wrote this I think you know what you have to do. No one here is saying its going to be easy but it up to you. Good luck. God opened your eyes and heart through your Dad for reason.
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He’s been having affairs for the last 12 years. Leave him and know your worth. He sounds like a disgusting peace of work. He doesn’t love you, not at all. Move on Mumma and find someone who will treat you as you deserve; like a Queen. Xx
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After 12 years together you know who and what he is, what he gives and doesn’t give, and how you feel. Deep down you know it’s time to say you’re done. His indifference and callousness to you and your needs is shameful. Quite honestly? He has it easy. You cook, clean, take care of the kids and him, most likely always make the effort and may cater to him a bit, initiate sex and tolerate all his BS. He’s got it made!! After 12 years of tolerating and feeling hurt, it’s time for you and your kids. Kids pick up on a lot going on and it’s not right for them to see and feel his indifference. Don’t be so forgiving to him as he doesn’t deserve it. Think of you and your kids. Time to kick him out. Let his friends take him in. You deserve so much better! Stop selling yourself short. We have one life. Make the changes and look for your happiness, peace of mind and feeling good about yourself. He and no man is worth so much.
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This is unacceptable! He appears to be a selfish inconsiderate jerk! Sorry, I wouldn’t wait around for him to change, he won’t! Make a decision before it’s 24 years,not 12!!
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To me it seems he married you out of duty and he still resents that fact. You have tried everything to get your point across but to no avail. He cannot even be kind when your father died. That says it all. Its broken. And cannot be fixed. So it’s time for you to break free and become the strong woman you are. Take your children and move out. Gain your independence and show them that his behaviour is not correct or acceptable. He’s an emotional cheat, that’s just as bad. He’s not worth your efforts. His time is spent on other females. Hard as it will seem leave. You deserve far much more from life than drudgery. Xx
I would divorce the bastard. Leave him or make him leave the house . Will be have to pay child support. ? Hopefully . You didn’t say what is job was! Why stay with him. You can always find a other guy. Or live single till kids are grown. Do you work at all ? Why should you suffer? Do you fix your self up for him (sexy). Does he help out w/ the house work? Just divorce him.
id personally leave him. he’s showing you time and time again you are low on his list. time to put yourself first and ask are you actually happy? or are you still together because of the kids?
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Oh absolutely dip. Thats fucked up. I would not stay with him, it will h it the children alot but its better to be away fr that rather than the chosen grow up witnessing that behavior and thinking is okay while you slowly skip into madness. Leave and find a new man. It will be hard to get a man with 3 kids but you never know.
As a proud father and a dedicated husband that actually has the issues this asshole claims to have, leave his ass. The issue is the lack of effort. I slip. I screw up. I don’t always offer the emotional or intimate support my wife needs. I also don’t text other women or give them anything that I wouldn’t give my wife. He’s a POS, dip out as soon as possible.
You don’t need all of us to justify or validate your feelings. Lose that loser!!! He is selfish and self-absorbed. lf he cares about consoling a coworker more than you, that says what kind of a** hat you married! BestWishes for a better life in your future!
Maybe you can give him something to worry about too. Text a guy or a pretend guy. Could be hes never had to worry about you going anywhere. Could be he feels like hes unimportant to you. Hold his hand and see what type of response you get. Just ask him what he feels.
He’s laid the cards on the table in front of you……why do you have to even ask……leave him……Life is short…….find happiness.
He is in love with himself & his penis. Run away from this creep as fast as you can while you are young enough to start again. He’s a liar, and is taking away your self esteem. Run don’t loiter…
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It’s time to move on& find someone that will love you properly. What a jerk!