I just found out my 13-year-old had sex. What do i do?

Take her to doctor put her on the pill

Talk about protection and birth control its called curiosity and doing things everyone else is doing. Birth control is the best net unless you want to be a grand parent pick one.

Get she/he tested for STDs and pregnancy first off!

Birth control,quick once you try ,you know she gonna like it

1 Like

You need to sit down with her/him and talk calmly about the need to use protection, the repercussions of having sex so early and without protection, -(ie: STDs, pregnancy. AIDS, HIV, Herpes, etc…) try to get your kid to talk to you and listen unjudgementally, show him/her what STDS full blown looks likes parents its our place to know why our children are engaging in promiscuous behaviors and do what we can to stop it. Praying for you and your child :pray::pray::pray::pray::pray::pray::pray::pray::pray:

Put her on birth control before something happens

1 Like

Speak to them this is a young age for sex, if you are both comfortable speaking about this. Make sure they understand the ramifications of sex and do not be upset, or angry be supportive.

That’s rough. I’m sorry to hear that. This is why I had always been there for both my kids and taught them right from wrong the very beginning.

A visit to the OBGYN to be checked for an std and put on birth control because no matter how much you don’t want them to do it when there’s a will there’s a way!

1 Like

Birth control and sex education.

1 Like

Talk to them. Offer advice and offer condoms. If female offer to take them to get on bc and to make sure the male partner wears a condom
If male tell them to always use condoms.

Take her to the health Department and get her on birth control

2 Likes

Most of you are wack. My Mom warned me I still took the risk very early. Looking back yes I regret it, was I lucky YES!!! Did my mom yell no!! If she had I would have rebelled, did I smarten up yes. Was I put on birth control YES!! Mind you this was 30yrs ago times haven’t changed that much🤦🏼‍♀️

1 Like

Kids are gonna have sex no matter if you want them to or not.

While it’s not something that’s gonna make you happy, yelling at them is just going to make them never want to tell you anything.

Teach them about safety. Make sure they have access to protection and teach them about consent. Yelling at them and demanding them not to do it isn’t going to make them not do it.

4 Likes

Have the sex talk with her if you haven’t already there really isn’t much you can do unless the guy she had sex with was over the age of 19… take her to her doctor and let them know she is sexual active and get her on the pill and make sure she knows how to use a condom cause most guys don’t

Talk it out and scare the daylights out of her or him

Whoa that is so young. She needs to be on Birth Control.

Help stop it. Shouldn’t be sexually active at such a young age

Ha ! Tap that ass ! Then give the talk !

Take them to planned parenthood to get a safer sex lesson, STI screening, birth control and condoms

7 Likes

Whoop her ass then birth control!

Talk… TALK NOW​:speaking_head::speaking_head::muscle:t5::muscle:t5: no other better time to talk is when they ask or inform you… TALK to that baby​:heart_eyes: and Thank him/her for being open and honest :muscle:t5::muscle:t5::white_check_mark: Trust me I got 5 … and the openest that comes after Wheeeew Chile… I Love it tho​:woman_shrugging:t5::fire:

2 Likes

The talk and birth control

Explain and birth control

Agreed talk about safe sex an hygiene. Talk bout options of birth control immediately an get her on it immediately if boy make sure they have condoms find out where he can get them for free that he can go by himself to pick up. Make sure he knows not to trust a girl that says she’s on the pill…EVER!!! tell him he can wrap it twice with 2 condoms. I was 13 an I was mortified an so scared…my mom found out an told me I was a whore…an I was devastated. Please don’t do that…she wasn’t normally like that but I’m sure the shock hit her pretty hard an she panicked…don’t panic. It is scary I have 3 kids already been through it with my 2 oldest 1 boy 1 girl…got him condoms, got her birth control.my son made me a grandma before he graduated highschool by like 3 months, he was 18 but still.

6 Likes

I was 17 when I lost my V and went straight to my Dad and mom to let them know I was sexually active but safe. It was with my boyfriend at the time. I broke it off with him not too long after cause I wanted to focus more on finishing school and what not and did not have sex again until I met my now husband when I was 18 yrs old about to graduate. My parents trusted me completely cause I was always open and honest about what I did. Sex is natural and apart of human nature. Granted 13 is a bit young IMO however don’t belittle and yell at your child. Educate and protect as best as you can and be there and also set some boundaries. You are still the parent and have every right to lay down some ground rules about this. My mom took me to an OB and I was put on birth control and she made sure I had everything I needed to stay safe if it was to happen again. Unfortunate teens will do what they want to an extent no matter what we as parents say or do so don’t push her away. Keep her close and guide her to make smart and good decisions. I dread when this happens with my girls but its inevitable . Best of luck hun

Talk to them about protection. Focus more on the consequences of an STD over pregnancy. (Some young teens want to have kids, so they may not take protection as serious). Make sure they have their own condoms and not to rely on anyone else since it is their health they are protecting. If a girl maybe gift her a “toy” so she can use that and hopefully that will keep her from wanting to experience more. The same if you had a son, but not sure what to offer him. Talk to your child about privacy for both people involved. How to understand that if the other party is uncomfortable by body language that it isn’t a good idea to continue regardless if they say it is ok or not. To know that they still have a right to say NO. That just because they did it once doesn’t mean that they have to continue and it doesn’t mean they have to do it with everyone. Finally let them know that you are thankful they came to you so you can help educate them and keep them safe but that doesn’t mean you are OK with their choices. You love them but this is a serious choice they made and sooner or later there will be adult consequences to their actions. So they need to think about those adult consequences and those consequences may cause them to grow up faster than you both are ready for.

3 Likes

Try to talk to her in a relaxed manner.make sure she knows what can happen with stds and tell her that if she is planning on continuing to be sexually active she must use birth control.getting pregnant at such a tender age is quite a huge responsibility.has she thought about the fact that it would change her whole life.who would raise a baby if she got pregnant?educate her.try to find out why she had sex in the first place.did she feel peer pressure and did not want to be the odd ball ? Try not to panic .

1 Like

Information and honesty is power for a child. I would give honest and open dialogue. Throwing birth control at them is not your only responsibility. Provide them with as much honest info you can give them. Don’t make it awkward. I also let mine know to use discretion out of respect for their partner. That’s part of the responsibilities of having sex. And that there are MANY responsibilities when you have sex. Safety being at the forefront. YOU AND ONLY YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR SAFETY AND FOR PREVENTING PREGNANCY. DO NOT PUT THAT BURDEN SOLELY ON YOUR PARTNER. There will be no blame games. Don’t lie to them. If you do, they will shut you out and get their info elsewhere.

2 Likes

I’m curious why he/she told you. Its not usually something a young teen would just volunteer. First I would take her/him to a Dr. to have them checked for diseases or aids because chances are it was unprotected sex. How did you find out? Did they tell you? Are you sure its true and not just a conversation to get you riled or to hurt you ? Were they coerced? Is the sex partner a lot older? At 13 its usually a much older partner because they like the special attention.

1 Like

First thing is do not scream or holler, its already been done… Next is birth control for sure and talk to her to refrain from having any more encounters until she is on the birth control… I would talk to her about the consequences of an unwanted pregnancy or unwanted diseases . And find out who the boy is how old and speak with his parents… Everyone needs to be responsible adults and make the right decisions for their child

3 Likes

I hope this is a publicity thing and you don’t actually have a child at or near that age … this post blows my mind as a pure example of a parent posting a completely inappropriate post that the child will now have to deal with for rest of their life.

Kiddo - if you ever see this, getting over being raised by a parent with narcissistic tendencies takes work to overcome but you can do it. Focus on learning to love yourself first before you look for it outside yourself … it rarely works the other way around.

7 Likes

As hard as it is for us parents to think about this day happening, and while yes that is very young, the best thing you can do is give your child education. Help them stay safe, because regardless of what you say, if they want to do it they will. Still talk to your child, but give them the means to be safe too.

2 Likes

I love these folks that keep saying to put her on birth control. Her hormones haven’t had a chance to even barely start her period. Birth control is not the answer and it can wreak havoc on a young girls pubescent body up to and including infertility for life. Please be careful when choosing that path, I will never have children because it was chosen for me

7 Likes

As a mother I thing we want to freak out and ask what the heck are they thinking.
However I would talk 1st then right to plan Parenthood next. I would discuss all birth control, myself I would say an IUD would be best that gives her 5yrs plus. As I’m driving to plan Parenthood I would tell her to pull up pictures of std’s. I know, I know as a mother and a child who is just 13, we turn into the craziest person. However it’s done and life will continue to move on, try your hardest to be open and not angry. Good Luck, I believe you can handle this!

It’s not the end of the world… don’t scream and holler at them, it will only make them resent you and want to keep doing it. Instead talk about the risks and protecting themselves.

3 Likes

Explain all the in and outs, ask how they feel now that it’s experienced, be supportive and share knowledge and be open minded. My teenager came to me when she was interested and I explained it all, gave all the info needed and said make a wise choice, she was very responsible!

2 Likes

Talk to them about it. Educate them about birth control, hygiene, consent and what it means. There are so many aspects to sex then just simply having done it. There are also many consequences like having children at a young age, getting STDs/STIs.
They need to be aware of all of these things.

7 Likes

At 13, make sure it wasn’t rape of any kind. If it was then press charges. Take child to doctor. Get therapy for child.

Otherwise I would educate them. Take them to a doctor. Discuss legal age of consent and why. Etc… Still your child that you love.

First thing I ask is how old were all these parents when they lost their virginity? You won’t stop the act… best to open the line of communication… Talk about serious things like having babies, hpv, herpes… Ect. Buy them condoms. Teach them to protect themselves just as you teach them to not talk to a stranger. Y’all live in a different time… Kids will do what they are allowed to do. Where are they when they are having sex?? Where are you? Just saying. At 13 they are the parents responsibility and obviously there is a loop hole of they are having sex at 13.

have a quiet, informative conversation. Maybe with a teen mother and child present.

4 Likes

Sorry but I’d be talking to my kid about all the regret they are going to feel with having multiple partners. I feel like nobody is bringing that up when so many women wish they wouldn’t have.

24 Likes

Cry it out and find some birth control. They gonna do what they want no matter what a parent says. Do your best and keep it moving.

1 Like

Be open n honest with them stress important of safe sex, even though it’s not a guarantee to prevent anything it’s still good to teach em no matter what age!!!

2 Likes

Help her start envisioning future goals and discuss the risk factors that would SEVERELY complicate these goals. Help come to value her freedom. Give her vision and share your values on sex and love, especially if you feel it is something you consider sacred. Educate her on prevention for when the time is right in the future.

Get her on birth control ASAP, talk to her so she doesnt get scared to get on birth control! If it’s boy buy him condoms, and make sure he knows how to use one! Plain and simple kids are going to be kids. We may be mad at first once we find out but we have to do the right thing and protect
Them!
(Then raise hell At them once protection is in place! ) lol :joy:

4 Likes

I dread that day!!! I’m going cry…

4 Likes

I think it’s also important to realize that at 13 he or she is not emotionally equipped to deal with sex and everything that goes with it. Hell there are plenty of adults that aren’t able to handle it. It’s a big responsibility. So much damage can be caused by engaging before you’re really ready.

5 Likes

Condoms, condoms, condoms. Keep on communication for he/she to talk to you about concerns and safety

2 Likes

Condoms or other birth control, get Gardasil shots, and while having “the talk” show them what a bad outbreak of genital herpes looks like, also gonorrhea and syphilis…if you are big enough to play you need to be aware of what the result can be.

2 Likes

Talk to them, openly and honestly. Don’t be harsh and don’t be judgemental, or they will go on the defense and clam up. Tell them what you want them to know and how to protect themselves against STD, unwanted pregnancy etc…

3 Likes

Now is the time to talk about sexual health having safe sex talk about the reproduction system and what consensual and nonconsensual sex is have condoms on hand and from experience with birth control that I personally had I would not recommend it!! Good luck momma!!

2 Likes

Boy or girl? and was the other person same age ? Omg I have a 13 year old and I would be livid

2 Likes

In my career as a nurse 13 year old do have babies. Yes too young but it happens

1 Like

Schedule appointment with gynecologist. If they think they are big/old enough to do the deed then they must face consequences and go to a dr who specializes in reproductive health. At that appointment a pap should be done to make sure no STDs are present and place on birth control. Get pamplets about stds and go over with your child. Also talk to them about pregnancy. It takes only 1 time. Have a chat with them. I gave my kids assignments. I told them to look for the cheapest one bedroom apartment. Call NIPSCO and get utility info. Call water department and get info of monthly bill. Then figure rent and utilities plus add in wifi bill and cell phone bill. Add roughly $80-$100 a week grocery bill. Let them actually see what it takes to be a adult and then let them know the minimum wage x 40 hrs a week and it opens their eyes to why your so upset and not wanting them to strugle with bad choices that sex can lead too. Enjoy being a kid!

2 Likes

Put some condoms next to his toothbrush. Trust me, he will ask you about them. THEN you tell him how wonderful babies are, but not at 13!

Go to the doctor for full work up and birth control if pregnancy test is negative. After that I suggest a long discussion on responsibilities, and probably tightening up on controls, and removing cell phones etc for a while, but that’s me. If they are determined to keep it up, unfortunately, they will find a way, but you can make it harder to get away with if that’s what you choose.

Dont put them down!!! Talk honest and open. So they will always know to come to you. If you put them down they’ll never talk with you about anything.

1 Like

What is a 13 year old doing having sex? That is si young to be engaging in that kind of activity.

1 Like

Did you find out the age of the boy or if your daughter knew him or not? Had she begun her monthly periods? Can she become pregnant?

1 Like

Buy protection… condoms and birth control. Nothing you can do but make sure they are protected bc if they wanna have sex they are gonna.

2 Likes

Get her a test for all STDs,including HIV; a pregnancy test.She won’t stop now & get her birth control.

1 Like

I have a 13 year old. OMFG :pleading_face:
First of all. Did the 13 year old tell you? Thats so awesome if they did. Dont phuc it up!

1 Like

There’s not really a lot u can do just make sure he knows how to protect himself and others and let him know that u should only have sex with the girls or who ever you really care about going into the future

Now at 13 you should sign him up for Christian classes.that teaches about morals, not a right of passage,its parents not knowing their CHILDREN

1 Like

Educate her but don’t get mad. You want her to feel comfortable talking to you about things she’s unsure of like diseases, if she notices a funny smells, rashes or pimples. Anything at all. Be her person that she runs to when she needs help. :heart: and put her on birth control ASAP!

12 Likes

Buy them condoms. Unless you want to be a grandparent in 2022.

1 Like

As someone who had their first child at 14 don’t be mad talk to them and look around and see if u know any teens that are mothers or find somewhere that u can get in touch with that’s willing to sit down and talk to ur 13 year old

Wow! Isn’t there a law against having sex with a minor?

Teach him about safe sex, that if she says no, it means no, if he says no, it means no; teach him to be a responsible sexual person.

The school where my grandkids go say everyone has had at least all the girls started seventh grade or before . Now most of the boys have not and don’t want anything to do with the girls because they call them nasty .

I agree, talk about safe sex but prepare her just in case she gets pregnant.

1 Like

Explain the importance of safe sex and have a talk about the cost of having and raising children. Get a Dr’s appt and discuss birth control.

4 Likes

Do the people posting who automatically think that its girl, actually know that this about a girl? What if its a boy? What if its 2 girls? What if its 2 boys? What if its something new :thinking:

6 Likes

Just be there for your child. Be kind and make them feel comfortable to talk to you

1 Like

contraceptives first. human nature that it happens

Talk to them. Tell therm the risk of having sex. Talk to them about safe sex. Yelling always want them to do things more.

boy or girl? Boy, have talk, buy condoms, advise him of house rules regarding copulation in or around your home, and responsibilities should a young lady become pregnant…Girl…same, but please include all of the screaming, death, agony, etc of pregnancy/birth…and what the outcome would be if she were to become pregnant…you might want to get “The Joy of Sex” if they are gonna do it, they really should do it with an education.

1 Like

Find out with who and burn them a new one !!! Block all contact and tell your child that self esteem does not come from others!!! 13 is way to young for consent!!!

Perhaps have a chat to find out if it was consented to… and the age of the other person involved. If you think theres more to it you need to report it… especially if this happened at school… there could be a bullying process in play that is needing to be addressed

1 Like

Maybe find a video of the talk and all the technical stuff they need to know and have them watch it. Sometimes it’s horribly awkward and uncomfortable hearing these things from your parent lol kids these days would probably pay more attention if it were something they could watch on youtube.

Make sure she knows about protection so she doesn’t catch anything or get pregnant.

2 Likes

talk to her about sexually transmitted diseases and get her on birth controll asap

I think you need to promote safe sex it obvious they have had sex so teach them make sure they have condoms and birth control my oldest didn’t tell about 16 my husband had the talk with him at puberty age and I too opened the door to conversation and I bought a box of condoms put them in the bathroom cupboard so he would have them I had him at 16 was on birth control that’s why I felt it was important to advocate safe sex rather than no sex they will choose to do it anyway so why not accept it and make sure if they are choosing to be sexually active they are protected not only against babies but sexually transmitted diseases

Talk about it. Get protection explain consequences and try to stay calm

Find some one with a baby that needs a sitter …offer her services for free…let her see how it is to take care of some thing that come from sex …then get a few videos of kids having babies and see how fun that is…because having a baby is not fun and no body is going to pay you to take care of your own child…and if she thinks that boy will …hell be with the next 13 year old with no kid…and thats life

Have a conversation give borthcontrol options and go to sleep.

Beat the mess outta the child.

1 Like

Be careful, your actions will direct future. Be open and honest

get her to planed parenthood and get her on the pill ASAP DONT GET MAD OR SHE WILL NEVER CONFIDED IN YOU

Have the mom talk in a friendly way. Ensure he knows the risks of unprotected sex etc.

Have a very informative conversation about sex, sexuality, morality, safety and anything else that comes up

Don’t post it on FB!

To late to do anything about it now

Birth control for sure and a very stern talking to

Makes sure she’s on birth control

Wow way to young to start… discuss “safe sex” wow

Inform him or her of the risks involved and help them to make good informed decisions. Don’t sex shame, it will affect them negatively in their sex life as adults. They’re gonna keep doing it so you might as well provide condoms and/or birth control. Also, make sure they know it’s okay to say no.

4 Likes

Nip that in the bud right now. That is totally unacceptable and inappropriate…

That’s what a belt is for