I’ve been home all week with a teething baby who is not sleeping and sassy toddler (babysitter was out sick so I used the last of my PTO to stay home.) Hubby told me before he left for work he would be out of work early so I could get groceries and he would stay home with the kids. He called me while at work and said he would be home at 12:30. Perfect, I’ll get them all set with lunch and nurse the baby so baby is set until I get home…12:45 rolls around and I called my husband to see where he was. He said it would be another 30 minutes before he’s home. He walks in at 1:30 and proceeded to chew me out!!! How dare I call him and have an attitude with him on the phone and ask him to call or text me next time he’s running late. And then screamed at me because he’s broke and now I’m asking for grocery money (he makes double, sometimes triple what I make)… and when I started crying, he told me to suck it up and stop crying whenever I’m upset… I’m just shocked and hurt he did that. And now he’s acting like he didn’t just blow up on me
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I just need to vent because I have no one to talk to
Maybe he had a bad day at work? Give it time and then talk to him about it.
Maybe his day didn’t go as planned. Maybe Something went wrong at work that delayed him and frustrated him and he took his frustration out on you. I’m not justifying his actions, but I know sometimes when my day goes to shit I take it out on my husband and vice versa. It’s never personal. It’s a shitty situation but it happens. I usually know when it’s been a bad day for him because after a couple of hours either him or I have cooled down and we go on about our day like nothing happened.
Bad day or not that’s not acceptable. That’s not okay. With the way you explained it that was 100% unnecessary of him and he sounds like a complete asshole who doesn’t deserve you.
Oh nah see I would have cursed him out, left both kids there for a little while. Y’all are a team not one does this or that. I’m sorry you are going through this, men can be complete assholes
If my husband ever told me to suck it up and stop crying that would be the end. I get everyone has bad days, but you have to work as a team and communicate. The fact that he’s being so ignorant to you is uncalled for. Parenting is not easy!
I know I can be sensitive when I make plans and it goes differently. ESP based off what he tells me and kids involved. Also, try and have the most honest look at the situation with yourself. If he really was being this horrible then he’s an ass and needs to work on things or whatever. If not, try and contain you expectations. Things happen.
Men have bad days and they build up over time and then little things set them off. I know it hurt your feelings but sometimes it’s better to just let go of what happened instead of bringing it up all over again.
Shit is expensive now, since Biden got in office, things are getting worse… people are losing their benefits, or talks of losing benefits, gotta work hard for what? Gas is up, inflation is absolutely a thing, etc. I know it stresses my husband out when I ask him to come home early because honestly we need the money. He’s probably just stressed, men show their emotions differently, and yelling isn’t okay, but ask him what’s going on.
Start recording every time you sense he is going to yell at you.
Hell no that’s wrong. No matter how bad your day is, it’s never Okay to Yell at your partner man or woman. But since he denies any rude and disrespectful action he performs, show him the evidence you recorded.
I cant believe woman/men these days Excuse their partners angry outbursts.
I used to make excuses, I used to hear them out, I used to apologize for pissing them off on something innocent I did…that shit turned for the worst. Even if my partner at the time hurt my feelings, cussed me out or maybe ticked me off…I was Never Nasty to him. I started recording every argument bcuz he would say I’m playing victim and he did nothing wrong…guess what, he was the one who stopped pretending he wasn’t being vindictive or evil. Once i showed him the videos of how something went down(hell even then I didn’t yell, still used a calm voice to express my feelings) he fucking stopped. You do need to talk to him and have a grown up conversation but he will be in denial of everything unless you show him yourself. And if he doesn’t change that nasty attitude, it will become a toxic habit. At that point leave his ass. Don’t ever think it’s acceptable to be treated in a demeaning way. Respect needs to be in place 100% all the time.
Dont care what kind of day he had…theres no excuse for that behaviour.
Wonder what made him late ? Why he would be angry at you for calling ?
Who was with him at the time that maybe doesn’t know he’s married 
At the very least he should be explaining himself and apologising
Tell him if he thinks it’s so easy then he can use PTO to stay home and handle everything while you’re gone all day
I’m sorry, I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around this. You have to ASK for grocery money ? The money that is used to feed him as well and your guys children ? Am I understanding this correctly ?
Hell no. That’s abuse and I woudt always ayoe to treat e with such disrespect. I’d put him in his place asap. People will only treat you as you let them. Horrible way for him to act.
You are only getting a partial story. No one knows how she behaved when she called and spoke to him. No one knows their relationship dynamic. No one knows what was said, right now the only thing that anyone knows is her portrayal of the situation. No one knows what her husband does for a living, etc. He answered her call, he may have answered the phone in front of a superior or other coworkers, etc and if she was bitching him out and they could hear it–he lost face at work and that’s hard to come back from, depending on what he does for a living. There is a lot left to unpack here that seems to be causing stress in the relationship. Finances seem to be a pretty big stressor. You are both contributing funds, I am not understanding why you have to ask for grocery money. I never understood the whole, “His vs Mine” in a marriage instead of “ours”. You have a couple of kids, a toddler and a teething baby that seem to be adding a little more stress to your workload than normal. Sounds like you and your husband need to have a sit down and have a conversation about what’s going on in your household.
Unfortunately, this is gaslighting at minimum. Been there…
Yea,noo. My husband did that we would have some problems. You two need to have a hard long talk. It’s one thing to have a bad day but disrespectful and down right asshole is not okay
Bad day all around?? Both need to take a breath. Give him a big hug and kiss.
So is this like a one time thing he acted this way? Or is he doing this all the time?
This would be separation. I don’t deal with it.
Take the kids and leave for awhile. I wouldn’t deal with this and having to ask for money is financial abuse.
He’s having a bad day lol unless he’s like that all the time I wouldn’t be bothered. I fly off handle almost daily 
I would have screamed right back at him like anytime u want my job jerk off take it n let’s see how you long last before you start to cry .
Tell him to pull the stick out of his ass
Maybe he’s stressed out between work at home?
Wow why is it husband chew you out, then wonder why we have a attitude . Then they got their nerve to ask what is wrong with you. What do you think you just chewed me out, of course iam not happy now.
15 minutes folks 15 Minutes off schedule. Have you never been 15 minutes late? Come on… I agree he should not have chewed her out but maybe she did have attitude for 15 minutes!!! People need to learn patience.
If this happens on the regular it is abuse. Financial. Emotional. Bet you wouldn’t be allowed to yell at to him that way, right??? I hope it’s not a common thing, but if he makes you feel like a single mom often you need to evaluate if you are better off actually being one.
Generally when people are mad, they are mad at themselves. Sometimes we just have to let people vent (men often project outward, women inward). He was probably mad at himself for letting you down, but directed his anger at you. Then when you cried that made him feel worse about himself and he lashed out more.
Having said that, I hope he apologizes. Talk about this in a day or two when you are both calm. Ask him if he was mad at himself and took it out on you. Ask him what happened at the office that day that made him feel bad/powerless/out of control/humiliated.
Is he stressed about finances? Sit down and figure income and expenses. Put together a budget with savings for emergencies, car repairs/purchases, stretches of unemployment, and a 529/college fund for each child so you are able to live within your means. Maybe more vegetarian meals & less meat, maybe plans for you to advance/get training for a better paying job in the future when the kids are in school.
And don’t forget fun! Baby Ora-Gel those tooth buds, hit the park/playground together, walk/hike with stroller/s, visit a Rec Center pool (may have to make an appointment and buy swim diapers), Go to Chuck E Cheese or other kids fun place. Can you budget a gym membership with childcare? Both parents get to relax/blow off steam and get healthier while the kids are looked after for an hour or two. Or put on different music & dance like crazy while one of you holds the baby.
Get a babysitter and have a romantic night out or night in with hubs. Dinner, movie, moonlight picnic, afternoon delight, baguette + fancy cheese + wine + real or online video fireplace, canoeing or kayaking on a nice day—whatever sounds good to you. If you’re exhausted, maybe just time to sleep.
If this happens often, seek marriage counseling and he should take anger management. If it persists, call a women’s center and make a safe plan to leave and insist on only supervised visits with dad.
Sending calm & comfort to all of you.
She didn’t say it’s an everyday thing. Hope they can talk it out. If she was up with a teething kid, love Kelly he was too
Narcissist and gaslighting. RUN
leave the kids with him and go do you for a couple of hours. some self care.
Don’t let him treat you like that in front of your kids, please.
Girl just go on to tge store. Tell him you will be back in an hour. Come back in two with just aloaf of bread. Tell him that is all you had money for. If he mentions how long you were gone tell him you were going by new time where 12:30 is 1:30. Don’t let him make you cry. Turn that crap around.
Adulting and parenting is hard. Give each other a free pass today. Life is short and you are blessed with 2 children.
If youre together, it shouldn’t be his money versus yours. I never understood that. My man has no problem being a provider, but I also like to work because being a stay at home mom is the most draining. He’s the one that said he would be home! And you called passed the time he said. So I don’t get it?? I mean I get if you had an attitude and was cussing him out or something but sounds like you just were wondering. You know what happened to me today? My fiancé dropped me off at home after work and cleaning, said take a nap I will go get daughter from daycare and get her some food…you deserve the 100% same. It’s absolutely exhausting being a mom. My fiancé understands though because he had to be a stay at home dad for a few months. He never takes it for granted now. Sounds like your man needs a reality check
I love potato soft tacos from Taco Bell. I got like 5 of them and knew I was pregnant when I took one bite and threw it away 
Sounds like a sh!tty husband
Get a plan & and leave him wait till he has to pay child support ins
Oh also be a spy CK out what he up to with money & time
Don’t put up with that. He’s turning it ALL on to you. Be safe.
Suck it up? Nah you suck it up asshole! Bet if you was late getting to him and those kids he would have been ringing your ass off the hook with “where you at?” Plus some. So no it’s not just a “bad day” show respect, get respect.
I too am in this same situation I have a 6 month old teething and a 3 almost 4 year old who thinks she is 16! It’s lonely and tiring my husband goes to work at 4 in the morning and comes home at 6 at night if it’s a good night it’s lonely and tiring! But what I recommend is talking to as many Family or friends as possible maybe when the weekend rolls around or he has a day off let him take over and see how he does with the kids I can tell you I can’t go to the store for a hour without my husband calling and crying saying how hard it is and when I will be home! It’s a hard job to be a mom their is not time outs it’s all day and night 24/7 so he owes you a big apology and I believe has no right to throw any kind of fit I’m lucky enough that my husband makes enough money for me to be a stay at home mom but your working and being “Mom” so that’s even harder! But with that being said just take every hour and I know that this is just a stage and this will pass the hard times that you were facing now will soon be over and they will be grown-up. Maybe try to find some mommy groups or other moms to link up with so you can get out even if that means meeting up at the park so the kids can play and you can get an hour to just talk or soak in the fresh air!
Have a soak in the bath and get some sleep…heightened with hormones after baby…both sleep deprived…chat to him bout it.
That’s rough. Especially when you been so sleep deprived too. ((HUGS))
When people yell like that cause there guilty of something. spending there money on .
Sounds like he is guilty of something!!
I think you both may be stressed in your own ways. Get some you time while he looks after the baby and when the tension is low, talk to him about it. Take accountability if you may have upset him on his part and use I statements to communicate how his words made you feel. It’s stressful when you have a teething baby. I’ve been there x2.
Tell him I am sorry, but I guess we won’t have any food because I don’t have any money either. Would you rather stay home with the baby or go grocery shopping? Let him decide.
I think u were high strung and desperate need of a break due to the teething and screaming baby and then snapped at him.
He was an hour late. Apologize and he also needs to chill and apologize. This is not a situation to leave him.