I looked at my husbands search history and I'm sick

Pray then pray somemore then cry then.make a plan.get yourself together and be strong.no one deserves to feel this way

Stay!, but just long enough for you to earn a degree or certification, so that you can comfortably financial support you and your children :confused:

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Divorce, alimony and child support. Then find yourself a job that you can do and learn from and grow for yourself

Two words: SPOUSAL SUPPORT!!! You can leave if you want. Go talk to a lawyer. Not people on the internet.

Iā€™m so sorryā€¦pray for guidance. Something I learned after a 35 year relationship. :pray:

You have no tolerance, he feels otherwise. Talking is the only way to come to a solution.

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you can make itā€¦kick him outā€¦when you have a husband no one helpsā€¦without one, you will have a lot of helpā€¦you donā€™t need himā€¦

Talk to him about. Seek counseling. You may have to get a job and leave him

I am sorry honey, no advise just love and prayers.

U say all the things you canā€™t do,what if he leaves you?
U gotta start figuring it out :relaxed:

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Start looking for work from home jobs. Once you land something start saving a nest egg. When you feel like you are in a good place, bounce on his lying, cheating a$s!

Ask him why he is cheating. If you want to fulfill that for him and stayā€¦do it. If not, leave.

This is too familiar to me. Talk to a lawyer. Be proactive
You will be much happier when the dust settles

Get your child on dla they will help you move house ASAP xxx

You can do this without him, there are all kinds of help

Get proof and he will have to pay alimony

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Talk to an attorney. Find out what youā€™re entitled to legally.

Hunny, you have 50% of whatever he has.

Fake it right nowā€¦and save up to leave and you get out as soon as you can!! If thatā€™s all you can do, then thatā€™s gonna have to work!

Iā€™m so sorry. This hurts my heart. :disappointed:

Girl u can always get out and there are resources to get help and help u get on your feet

Start getting self suffering behind his back, save up, get out.

That alimony gonna be :fire: lit

Communication is key. Talk to him abt it.

If you catch him cheating and can prove it you get everything anyways youā€™re married :wink:

Put money aside whenever you get and keep saving the evidence !!!

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Find a lawyer or counselor immediately.

Donā€™t ever let a man make you feel like your trapped in a marriage or relationship. You can do whatever you want Lady.

Do not leave your house. Go to a free. Attorney consultation and divorce the shit out of him. Take pictures of everything. :disappointed: Iā€™m so sorry.

Leave the screen open for him to see

Confront him and either tell him to pack his shit or go to counseling.

Start planning your leave today.

Bless your heart. I went through the same thing. Mine was sending our money to scammers, (girls) and inappropriate pics. He didnā€™t want to get help or stop. I wish your circumstances were better and you could leave this very minute. Do you have family that could help you?

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Thatā€™s why both need to workā€¦

Download the app life306 on both yours and his phone. When you think he is cheating looking on that app follow directions to him take pics if heā€™s cheating take him to court for Alamoni and child support

Communication. Therapy. But most of all, prayer.

Allamony is an option for this exact reason.

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Divorce him, take all proof of this disgusting behavior and take everything he has, child support, spouse support, the house. F him

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Iā€™m so sorry I know exactly what your going thru.

Divorce, child support, & alimony.

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I wouldnā€™t tell him until I had money stashed. Heā€™s going to have to pay you spousal support and child support. Gather as much proof as humanly possible without him knowing so youā€™re prepared for court.

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Start with a conversation about what you saw ā€¦

Leave, you do have the option and maybe youā€™ll struggle a little but Iā€™d file adultery :woman_shrugging:t3:

Start looking for a job n make plans to leave

There are still resources for you. Ssi, child support, spousal support. If your child is a life long dependent with a disability, child support will not end at 18. Resources for dependents with disabilities are endless also. Theyre either in school or adult workshop so it is time for you to stand up, find yourself a job and take care of yourself and you kids. ask him to leave.

ā€œCareerā€ honey u still get half. Get the hard evidence, get a lawyer, take his ass to court. Meanwhile, look for side hustles. Ways to make money on ur own time with the kids. Sell stuff, doordash, babysit. Theres so much u can do these days. Leave his ass. Find ur happiness. Iā€™m thankful u have kids to live for, but u really need to find how to live for urself too now. U got this girl! :muscle::muscle: It takes a village. Build urs now!!

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This is exactly why I have a job, I have drummed it into my girls too. Get skills and experience behind you even when you are married try and work too when children start school etc if something like this were to happen I know I can support myself itā€™s very important because we just donā€™t know what is around the corner. Itā€™s never too late to learn new skills and gain employment donā€™t stay in this sort of situation just because you are financially dependent on someone xx

Waiting patiently for others to comment so I can false report them to Facebook :wink::relieved:

Alimony make him lay. Get proof hes cheating get a lawyer and get rid of him he goes you stay and he pays period

Gather all evidence and file for divorce. Stay and hold your ground.

Start with including him in the conversation. Tell him what you have discovered and let him explain.

Mrs, you AND your kids deserve better. Gather the proof of his blatant infidelity, confront him with it. Get a good family lawyer and lean on friends and family for what you need rn. You can do this!

Marriage Counseling if heā€™s willing to go.

Your kids qualify for disability and YOU can get compensated for being their caregiver. There is housing available as well. You qualify for alimony as well as half of HIS 401k and retirement. Speak to a lawyer and womenā€™s advocacy groups for help! Itā€™s out there! Take online classes to work from home with like mendical transcription work AND medical coding and billing.
In the meantime Iā€™d let him know you know. He needs counseling because this could be a midlife crisis thing and he just likes the attention and looking which CAN be worked on. Oh!! And you can get child support!! You will be fine, I promise! You can even have him leave the home and HE is responsible for the mortgage or at least half since you do have disabled kids.

If youā€™re going to stay I would definitely take everyoneā€™s advice in hiding/saving money but I would probably start looking for someone else too. Thatā€™s just me. Get yourself some new outfits, your hair done, work on some things for yourself. Itā€™s not the movies. Leaving is hard sometimes it feels impossible and you will have to find a way to cope with this bs in the meantime.

If your kids are disabled, look into some programs to help you get on your feet. Make some goals, short term and long term, for yourself and your kids. Leave him be, as hard as it is, and make good use of your time for some classes, be it real estate or a trade, medical program! You can do this!!

Hell no, throw that man in the bin

You will be entitled to child and spousal support. You can go to a trade school and get job skills. There are a lot of entry level jobs available so you can have job references. You can get WIC, food stamps and SNAP benefits. You will qualify for section 8 housing. Can you stay with family for a while? Please get a free consultation from a family law attorney, they have helped thousands of women in your position and will know of every resource available to you.

Youā€™re not stuck unless you want to be.

Oh yeah and start moving small amounts of money if you can. Or sell stuff you donā€™t need and bank it

I would join the same app using a fake name & profile - contact him and then bust him with his replies., then pack up and leave

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Get a lawyer get all screen shots from his phone. File for divorce

I thought I couldnā€™t leave too. I did. It was hard really hard, but life today is beautiful and healthy and now my kids are grown with kids of their own. I was left with an eviction notice in the ghetto and utilities being shut off when we finally kicked him out and 4 kids to raise all of which had emotional disorders from the abuse. We pulled out of together and are all healing more everyday and he died alone of a drug overdose 2 years ago. He cheated joined sites to date others and had a chronic masterbation problem (even caught him doing it in the kids bedroom while they were at school) then when I would try to plead with him he would beat and try to choke me to death. I had no job and no housing and I pulled out of it. Saying you canā€™t leave is always a lie we tell ourselves so we donā€™t have to try taking a chance on a better life. You are not dependent on him you just think you are. Itā€™s all about what you are willing to put up with.

Spousal support and get a damn job.

Why are some men such trash ugg

Generally the state will provide housing, daycare or adult care so that you can work if youā€™re low income and have disabled children. I know in Wv they pay the parents to stay home with them and pay for relatives or a care giver to give you breaks too. If you want the easy route then sit there feeling this way and do nothing. If you want to be happy you need to take control of your life. Gather evidence. Confront him. Get an attorney and take half his property and paycheck and then get on public programs to help with the kids.

Start by making a plan volunteer where you can have work experience look in to what the church can help you with aid at a hospital then leave the kids in his care short times to start longer when needed check government agencies they may have help donā€™t leave without a plan

Gather evidence (screenshots) and get a lawyer. You would likely get alimony AND child support which would help with childcare costs while you get a job. You CAN do this. :heart: sorryā€¦and trust me I have been through this and it literally destroyed me inside for years until I jolted myself out of the fog and made shit happen for myself and my kids.

They are all a bunch of worms

Woah youā€™re brave for looking through a phone. Especially a guys phone lmao. Shoot. Iā€™d tell him you knew and how you found out and go from there. Youā€™re not stuck, trust me. There are other ways to get out of the entire situation. Guys lack the fact that females have needs too. Thatā€™s why half of them are single or losing their girlfriend without realizing it. Iā€™d be 100% up front. Let him know everything including your feelings about it

Save money slowly ask him for a little more each time save enough to invest or build a business at home ask for government assistance you got this !

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Screenshots and talk to an attorney. Then file for divorce and take his shit plus alimony. :slight_smile:

You just made all kinds of excuses not to leave if your children are disabled then you still can a stay at home mom pretty sure they get SSI then on top of that he would be the one to leave the home pretty sure you would get alimony on top of him paying child support so if you had enough file divorce papers and custody of the children stop using excuses

Resources. If U need help, lemme know what area Ur in and I can help look around. Coming from a family of five who used to be homeless, I know for a fact there is help out there for ppl like U who want to utilize it for the better.

You could feel free to do the same.

Iā€™m so sorry! I have no clear answers for you but I feel you! Itā€™s a hard place to be unable to leaveā€¦ And I honor that is where it is.

Depending on their disability they should be getting money no? Also I rhink he will have to pay child support and alimony becasue you donā€™t work I could be wrong but I think he does

Your already answering your own question so do not ever 2nd guess yourself thatā€™s when your life will turn upside down

First things first get youeself down to the clinic for full testing, second of all, Iā€™m sorry heā€™s done this :disappointed: address it with him ASAP donā€™t brush it under the carpet x

Youā€™re not stuck. You CAN leave.

If your kids are disabled, then get them on disability, QUIETLY. Also, get that PROOF documented. Begin looking for work-from-home jobs. Keep YOUR BROWSING activities cleaned out.

If you havenā€™t already, you can get your disabled children on the list for DSPD. Once they get approved, you get an allotment of money every year to pay someone to help you with them. It has made all the difference for the families that I know that have it, and I work for DSPD as direct care staff for families in your situation.
If you want to leave the marriage, do it. He will have to pay alimony and child support and alimony, because you helped build his career just as much as he did.
Good luck, momma :heart:

So sorry your going through that, its always the ones that know you have no option but to stay and deal with it

He probably Does Love you.

Same thing here. 10 yrs and 3 kidsā€¦ however, I still left. 2 months out and Iā€™m thriving.

Lay some ground rules down and explain how much you have given up. Which he should already know but sometimes needs a swift kick in the ass of a reminder. Iā€™m going through the same thing. Except our child is a CK and heā€™s in jail for guns. No loyalty. No trust. Belittling a lot. I couldnā€™t stand it. I realized my damn worth and put my foot down. Itā€™s rocky. But a few prayers with tears never hurt anybody. God is always listening. :heart:

No one is stuck- weā€™re not trees. If heā€™s committing adultery then boot him out.

Put him on child support, spousal support, get disability checks for your babies
ā€¦get childcare for special needs and get a job . You donā€™t need him or his BULLSHIT

Possession is 9/10th of the law!

Kick him out, you have 50% of everything plus spousal support!
I went through this with my last partner and itā€™s the most demeaning feeling to have.

Donā€™t take yourself from your babies.

I have zero advice because I would have thrown him out the moment I found them.

Get your education or find a trade. Get a good job. Start saving and hiding money. Make him pay for half their care and leave.

There are so many resources to help you get out of an unhealthy situation. Donā€™t use excusesā€¦ leave

Spousal supportā€¦ see ya at court

Do your own thing behind his back, if you want a companion

Get a lawyer, he will have to pay alimony & child support.

Confront him talk about maybe its worth saving not always have to leave can it be fixed counseling first talk

Start creating an exit strategy and document everything. Screenshots, texts, etc. Send it all to a secret email only you know about. Communicate with him about what you know and see if he is willing to go to counseling and do better moving forward. But either way you need to always have a good exit strategy in place and the email for supporting evidence.

Lawyer up, you can file for divorce, and get child support and alimony. Thatā€™s my advice from my husband.

Get you a side piece. Two can play at that game.

Iā€™m so sorry this is happening to you. I donā€™t have a good answer for you. I just know I couldnā€™t stay but idk how I would respond if I were in your shoes. I just pray you would be blessed with a way out. Start doing things for you again. Focus on you and the answers will come.