My husband and I have been together for almost 20 years now. We have 3 teenage children.
The past few weeks my husband was acting really off. So after some time passes and the feeling staying, I decided to look at his browsing history.
I found out that not only is he searching for locals to hook up with, but he’s joined apps etc.
We have a zero tolerance policy for this kind of behavior, which he clearly knows and asked the same of me… and yet, here we are…
What do I do?
He’s got all of the signs that he is actively cheating… including searching and joining sites, while he was sitting across from me, on our anniversary a week ago.
The no duh thing is to leave. But I can’t.
I have been a stay at home mom for 18 years so we could afford for him to continue his career… I have nothing.
My kids are also disabled and he has no ability to care for them, but without a place to stay and money to pay the bills, I’m stuck.
I’m stuck with someone who looks me in my face and tells me he loves me but yet is looking to hookup with others…
I want to unalive myself, but my kids need me, so that’s out.
How did I allow myself to get to this point?
What can I do from here on out?
My husband and I have been together for almost 20 years now. We have 3 teenage children.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I looked at my husbands search history and I'm sick
Well if you come on here stating that you can’t leave from the beginning, then you’re already counting yourself out. File for divorce, seek child support and spousal support and file for disability for your kids. You’ll be fine. In the meantime, learn to not depend on a man, and secondly, gather all this proof you have of him cheating so you’ll have strong evidence in court. The End…
Same thing happened to me. I got with my ex when I was 16 and had a baby at 17. I was a stay at home mom of 3 for 12 yrs. plus we took my step son in for a while. My husband supported us financially and I stayed home with the kids. He developed a drinking problem and then I found out he was cheating as well. Long story short we got divorced and the judge gave him custody cause he made the money, and I had never even had a job. A month later he moved them 5 hrs away from me. I lost everything! My children, my home, my car , my world as I knew it. I got my CNA and went to work. A yr later I was able to transfer through work to a town about 30 min from my kids. We are now 4 yrs divorced and it taken me this long to even get close living comfortably and having my children over regularly. Stay with him and save every dollar you can. If I would have been smart about it I wouldn’t have had to endure so much heartache, and suffering. I really wish you the best. Try your best to keep your head on straight. I know how hard it is to find out the one you love and have built a family with has done you so wrong. It has ruined my respect for every man and I have trust issues I’m sure I will never get passed. He shattered me and I don’t wish what I went through on anyone ever!
I think in most states he has to pay you alimony and it goes up every year of marriage after 10 years? You would get half of the house. He could sell it and split it OR buy you out. And bank accounts with ur name on you and withdraw any amount without getting in trouble. Do the children get disability? If all else fails you could apply for state assistance. If you guys are financially set (idk sounds like you guys aren’t struggling) I would sell stuff that is “yours” jewelry, hobby stuff, collectibles. Lot’s of options u just gotta decide to do something. Some couples split but live in the same house as roommates different rooms. If he is just hooking up then he can do that outside of the house.
Start saving money. Take out extra every single time you go to the grocery store. Once you get enough saved, change the locks and tell him to get his clothes off the front porch and tell him it’s over with.
You’ll get money in the divorce, he’ll have to pay you child support. Don’t stay just because of the kids. You deserve to be happy.
Communicate to your Husband. Just cause he looked at the sites and joined them doesn’t mean he has cheated. I understand joining the sites is no better but it’s best to communicate with him instead of turning to social media
Find a duplex or a home w a finished basement. He can live downstairs in the basement with the other snakes and you and your children can live upstairs. If you honestly cant leave, either you deal w the cheating or you put it all on the table, put EVERYTHING in writing with lawyers. Share a home mortgage but still have 2 living areas if that makes sense… and make sure you let him know what’s good for him is good for you…hes already made the choice to leave the marriage. Now figure out what’s best for you and your kids. Dont worry about what others think or say about your situation. Out of the box coparenting is what matters
It’s easier said then done. You’ve been married for so long and feel vested. Idk you personally but you have to evaluate your morals and values on marriage, family life and the bigger picture. When infidelity is involved there are always two sides to the story. If the relationship is salvageable then work on it. If you two can work on the root of the problem on what lead to this then work on that. If either of you are willing to forgive or understand how and why this is a problem then it’s not worth fixing. Marriage is 100% from each partner. But divorce is 50/50. I’m not an expert on this it’s from my personal experience. The choice is yours on this. All I can say is make sure you are surrounded my positive and supportive family and friends. Best of luck to you.
Any time you go to the grocery store or go shopping and they ask if you want cash back, say yes. Take $10-20 each time. Stash it away somewhere he won’t know about.
The author can gather all the evidence she wants but what really matters is how the state is. Some states are no fault states, mine, when it comes to divorce. Or at least that’s what the divorce attorney told me. I’m sorry you are here. I’m also in the same boat. He’s not taking me seriously even though I keep stating it. Filing yourself is an option but if he wants to contest it, it may be a long hard journey. Good luck! I feel your pain. If you need to talk, I’m a message away.
Girl…divorce him. You will keep the house because of your kids being disabled and you will get alimony and if your kids are disabled then surely you get help from the government and if you don’t…start. you absolutely have to leave! He’s useless to you anyway. You will get help. It will be hard and stressful but living a life you can be happy with… it’s worth it. I sure hope everything works out for you
First if print out everything before he gets a chance to delete it. No matter what decision you make, then really think if you can forgive for something like this because if you can’t, and won’t be able to move past it no sense in even trying to work it out. Second don’t let him know you know. Start making plans, get an attorney, have the attorney hire a PI and get definitive proof. He will be paying you
If you really feel like you would rather stay then this is your new normal. Check out from the marriage. Go make your own life, friends, ect. Disconnect yourself. Make him pay the bills so you can focus on yourself, find a man on the side if you have to. Do what you need to be happy. Otherwise, file for divorce, child support and alimony and move on
Confront him and get counseling together. If you can’t get through it and he doesn’t agree it was wrong and stop, then get a divorce. But I understand the desire to try to make it work with kids and a long marriage.
Pull up those boot straps and call him out. You are the only one who can control your life. If he’s not happy he needs to own it. I went through it too, but it all comes down to communication.
You would have child support and alimoney and half of everything.
Imo…don’t say a word …document everything possible…start stashing anything and everything you can!!! When the time if right get a divorce lawyer! Half of his is yours!
This right here is why every adult in a relationship should work both people in a relationship should work it’s never good totally depend on one person and I’ve been married for 40 years.
This is what I learned, I left my ex of 14 years (3 children together) because of emotional abuse, I had nothing! he kept their clothes, toys that I HAD PAID FOR! I got a job, lost my childtax, moved back in with my parents. Got a lawyer, fought for my children, agreed to do week on week off. I went back to school to become a CCA/CNA, and worked at gas station on weekends to provide for my children, left the gas station til I was able to work in LTC and am now doing what I love! Now the past 2 years my ex has neglected the children’s hygiene which caused bladder infections/rashes. He had taken our son off of his medications which then led to him being kicked out of school. I made all appointments, paid for everything for those children. You know what he felt was right since they forced him to pay child support for our 3 children… $100 a month, because I felt terrible he lost his job even though he was working for cash! he now is engaged to my landlords daughter who also used to be a co workers of his, something that he NEVER WANTED. Atleast not with me.
but you know what, I met an amazing man that LOVES not only me but my 3 children like they were his own! which I never thought I would EVER find someone that would be with someone whom already has children and tubes tied. he has none of his own and I would love to make him a daddy one day threw IVF.
what I am getting at is, don’t think you cant do it. That noone else will love you and your beautiful babies! Have something lined up, fill out paper work for legal aid, get yourself and the kids set to rebuild a home, that is full of love and happiness! and always put yourself and kids first. Because in the end that’s all us moms have! stay strong and keep going, I promise it gets better!
Get a side hustle and seperate account and new email, sign up for paperless banking. Stay until you can save up for a security deposit and 1-2 months rent. Once divorced, get your spousal support and disability for your kids. It may take a while but you gotta get out.
If you have family reach out to them. Look into local programs that help women and children in your situation. If you have to and are able to get a job so that you can save money. It isn’t going to be easy but you have to leave. You deserve so much better. Good luck!
I’ve been there. Get in mom mode and focus on those kids and get things together….money etc. and when it’s time you will know. I’m so sorry what you’re going through. Be strong, be brave and then be savage!!
Goin through very similar myself as of 2days ago! Just got done crying again smh. Brings back all the cheating thats happened before an I feel like I’m reliving it all again inside me. I’ve changed sexually an have been broken down in other ways with myself. Ways I’ve never felt in my life. I use to be so different before and I dont even know me anymore. Seems every time I’m about to try hard to come back out of my shell I’m forced back inside it harder each time.
Divorce with child support and alimony for 2 years. Pay for the kids expenses until you get on your feet. I know if you have not been working most of the marriage he has to pay alimony for at least 2 years. Or you acknowledge and have an open relationship until you get your self together. Go to school get a job and self sufficient
He should go to get counseling and stop what he’s doing right now. And he needs to be reminded he married you and he had children with you. My advice is he needs a wake up call. Some men cheat after being married a long time. They love the excitement the thrill . He needs to be reminded without you or his children his life will be empty. He will wish he never cheated. Please do not let his cheating make you feel like not living! I had the same happen and he stopped and was truly sorry. It will get better. If he wants to leave then apply tor Medicaid and food stamps and go to counseling to get back on your feet. Theres alot of remote work at home 40 hr a week jobs right now paying over 15 hr
Talk to a lawyer. With disabled kids and as a stay at home caregiver the joke might be on him because he is still responsible and you may get spousal support for life.
You’re not stuck. My first husband was the same way. He claimed to change and never did. So byeeeee
You stated yourself you have a zero tolerance policy for these things, so there’s your answer. He is in the wrong and you will get child support and alimony, and probably the house too in the divorce. Leave while you can, you and your kids deserve better! And make sure you document EVERYTHING!
I’m seeing all these comments about divorce. As if it were that simple. These people seem to be forgetting that not only does the op have disabled kids, but that she also hasn’t worked in a very long time. So even if she divorces him and gets the house, she STILL needs to get a job (that money won’t last forever), and since she essentially has no work history, she’s pretty much looking at McDonald’s. So she’s much better off confronting him and either working it out, or if that’s not an option, sharing the house as roommates (eg get the basement finished so he can live there instead of in the official house)
You’re not stuck, even though it may feel like that and that your world is crashing down. He has been the “bread maker” in the marriage. You will most definitely receive spousal support and child support no question. Also, file for disability (if you already havent) for your children. Hope you figure everything out & stay strong!
I feel for you so much on this. This was me in 2014 with two toddlers in the almost exact scenario. I knew that I needed to get some type of skill set to be able to take care of my kids. I went to nursing school and we divorced 3 years later. It was realllllly hard and I never forgot what happened and likely still was, but I persisted. Long story short, don’t give up on you. Dissolving this type of history takes time. If you truly want to leave make a plan for yourself and your children and commit to it. Hang in there.
Work on getting a trade, get a job, become independent. It may take a while, and you have to act like nothing is happening,but relying on yourself is your best solution. There is also child support and alimony, if the other option is not do-able
Relationships are built on trust. If he has betrayed that trust and continues to do so, not just a one time mistake, he is also disrespecting you.
If you do not value yourself high enough, then perhaps to get the strength to leave think of what message you would like to teach your teenage children as to what behaviours they will tolerate in their lifetime. Would you want them to put up with their partner’s cheating, making them question their self worth? And although it’s hard when kids are involved maybe this will give you strength so leave based on what values and self respect you want your children to grow up with.
I went through something similar but I was pregnant with my first child & I hadn’t been married nearly as long as you. I stayed for our baby & it never got better. He didn’t stop. Looking back now, I wish I had set money aside little by little so that I could have left him sooner. I know it feels like you’re stuck but you’re not. You have options, there is help out there especially with disabled children. And with as long as you’ve been married, I’m pretty sure he’d be required to not only pay child support (if your children are minors) but also spousal support. You will most likely get to keep the house, I was given the option to keep my marital home even though it was in his name. My state doesn’t consider cheating a “crime” per say… not sure about yours, but my judge did acknowledge it! He says it shows ones true character and for that reason (amongst a few others) he ruled in my favor. So definitely screenshot everything and send it to yourself then print it out regardless of whether you live in a no fault state or not. Also, please remember that this isn’t your fault. If a man is gonna cheat, he’s gonna cheat. It doesn’t matter what you do or how wonderful & gorgeous you are. Some men are just pigs and you deserve better. He isn’t worth you doing something harmful to yourself. No man is.
It can be done you just have to find resources and get income divorce or deal with it talk to him an open relationship if you can handle that time of thing i couldn’t but whatever works deal with it or do something about it…
You can leave you are not held there, only by the fact you allow yourself to think you have nothing and possible can’t manage on your own. You will and you deserve to be treated with respect, the least your husband could of done was told you of his thoughts rather than be deceitful behind your back.
Gather a network of support people, make a plan and start building a better life for you and your children. Think positive and watch the miracles unfold
When he’s home get dressed up and go to park or somewhere and let him feel like you do …tired out
And alone…look your best all the time. If it doesnt shake him up then do what you need to! Men arent like women…they get way off track until it hits them in face…good luck
You’re definitely not stuck! There’s so many resources out there, go find them. What would you do if he was being physically abusive, just stay and be stuck? No! You’re stronger than that and deserve better!
You can always work from home, use your kids disability checks for bills and necessary needs, theres housing, benefits, your not stuck you can do this alone.
Do not tolerate this .it is not okay. Make a plan , apply for financial help for you and the kids you and your kids are more than eligible. With the right help and support you can do it by yourself. Do not be in a unhappy relationship just because you think you wont be able to support yourself .you can! and you will support yourself and your kids. have faith , be strong. I wish you the best of luck
i tell my daughter and grandaughter to NEVER DEPEND ON A MAN YOU NEED TO GET OUT OF THIS so called marriage he is a cheat and always will be . get a divorce and dont look back
Divorce him an take everything you have work just as hard or harder ( I would rather work every day then be a stay at home mom) you deserve to be happy
Ur man is loving other woman on ur special anniversary. Block ur feeling for him! Go on a mission, get disability $ for kids in ur name. File for emergency housing. File custody and child support. Take pics for evidence that hes cheating. Dont let him know u know yet. It will eat u up momma!Close this door now b4 it consumes u!! I lived it, my man on 19yrs got off at 3 when he said 6. Life is good wout cheating and fighting. Get u n ur kids safe n stable asap. Hes a sneak n some1 who chose himself over u!
If you talk to him and he continues, and you stay, then it’s almost as though you are condoning the behavior. If it were me, feeling how you describe, I would cut all sexual relations with him. You don’t have to tell him why, just cut him off. If he questions it, then I would mention what I know. This is a complicated situation but that would likely be my first step if I were in your shoes.
Leaving is still an option. He has supported you this entire time and everything you own as a married couple is equally both yours and his. File for divorce and ask for the home and primary custody of the children. Also ask for alimony (spousal support) since you are have not been in the workforce and have no “employable skills” in today’s competitive job market. If your children are disabled, they should be entitled to disability payments. You don’t have to physically leave the home until a court says so (and neither does he) just file the paperwork and hand it to him one day when he arrives home. He can choose to stay elsewhere while you go thru the divorce if he wishes. Or you agree to divide the assets and sell the house you live in and then use your portion to get yourself and the kids somewhere else to live.
You have options. Staying is probably the dumbest one.
If you want to stay bc you love him and want to fix it I suggest finding support groups as step one. They help, you can PM me and I can add you to a couple.
However, if money is the only reason you’re staying- you 100% can get child support and alimony and disability for your children. Local agencies can help you find housing. Or you can kick him out.
Please talk to your dr and find a counselor for you. Wanting to be unalive is not what you really want, depression lies to you.
Find a trade skill, course, or source of income. Apply for funds (disability etc.) and create a cushion no matter how small in a separate account.
Tell that man to go kick f’ng rocks.
It will take time. Wait it out in the mean time so you don’t risk your future or impact the kids more than needed.
Get proof of cheating. I’m not sure what state you’re in but I’ve heard in some states this can help in a divorce. Secondly, get a job. Start saving and find help for caring for your kids. Look into what the state has to offer single working moms. Once you have all your ducks in a row, throw him out. Being as you’ve cared for them for 18 years and got a job and have proof that you are seeking assistance then you should have no problem getting custody and the home if you own it. Most importantly stop sleeping with him! You have no idea if he’s using protection or who he’s been with. Don’t risk yourself.
The “duh thing” is what you should do, if you are honestly not going to do that… had no intention of… What is that saying, don’t go searching, if you plan to do nothing about it. If you’re plan is to stay & cry, stop looking🤷♀️. NOT something I would really ever suggest to any woman, or any person being cheated on, cause, that is just not healthy, but if you aren’t going to do nothing, what is the point?! What I will say & warn, just because you can stay & deal with it, doesn’t mean that secures your part, he may decide that he wants new, & then you’re worse off, at least now you can plan for a new… he pulls that rug out, & then what. And, trust me they don’t respect you more… if anything it will get worse. STRONGLY SUGGEST you move on…
You need to talk to ur husband! I’ve been cheated on and I definitely don’t condone it but u seriously need to talk to him. After 20 years maybe yall need to sit down and discuss if ur marriage needs to be spiced up. Doing the same thing over and over again can get boring. And u never know maybe he hasn’t stepped outside yalls marriage yet. So talk to him! Also if yall can’t get through this together then its time to step up and get urself out of the situation. Theres plenty of work from home jobs.
You are not alone. Find a counselor for yourself and figure out what you can do.
I tell all women to always be able to take care of themselves no matter how much money he makes. Have a income even if you do something from home and save the money. If you don’t then you will reap what you sewed if something goes down. There is a lot of money in raising the right puppies. Hope it turned ok. A lot of men can not handle their menapause. He will stop anyways in his own time.
You should start a secret account and save money when you can so if you do decide to leave you have money for things you need. Have everything lined up so your not stuck winging it. Low income housing usually have a waiting list so I’d fill out an application now.
You did NOTHING TO DESERVE THIS! It’s him who has the problem. But the only one that can make the decision to stay is you but I would seek therapy for yourself or someone to talk to and also get legal advice on your rights. Good luck and hang in there!
That’s what alamony and child support are for you can even make it so he has to pay for your lawyer since he’s the one who fucked up
People are so quick to leave and not work on things. If this isn’t his first time doing this, then yeah I’d make an exit plan. If this is the first time you caught him, talk things out. See if he would be willing to go to a marriage counselor. Y’all have been together for 20 years. Don’t throw it all away unless, like I said, this isn’t the first time.
I would leave!!! He has to pay you alimony and child support use that money until you find a job. He will also have to pay for childcare! Get out get out get out!
You have to realize you CAN leave! You can make a career for yourself. It sounds like you have low self esteem if you deem yourself not being able to make a life for yourself. Toss him to the curb
Join the apps too and cat fish him to catch him out so that there is no doubt in your mind and he can’t get out of it then do what you need to do. In the mean time get your finances and stuff inorder
If it was a male looking at a females phone he would be told he has no right to look at her phone that is private
Your definitely not stuck if your kids are disabled you should be able to get disability money to take care of them look into that and if you get divorced he should pay child support not not mention your entitled to an alimony from the divorce ,look into resources depending on were you live whatever disability center you have should be able to provide housing depending on your situation and disability of your kids and if you do qualify you can have a nurse come out to take care of the kids while you get a job ,I do in home support services for the disabled you should look into that for help for your kids ,the regional center were im at provides this service so if you have something like that look into it your kids doctors should be able to have a referral sent out to schedule an appointment with one ,look into low income housing maybe even section 8 talk to your local welfare office you don’t have to be on welfare to ask for help they can provide all this information and if they can’t they can direct you in the right direction
Guess an open marriage if you’re unable to leave. He’ll take care of you and the kids and get his kicks elsewhere I’m really sorry you have no way to leave his sorry ass:disappointed:
These ladies in the comments above are giving you great advise. You should act on the suggestions before he up and leaves you without warning and no resources
Speak to Legal Aid and your government’s financial assistance services. Make a plan. Save any money that you can and sell anything that you don’t need. You are entitled to half, if not more, of all assets accrued during your marriage. You would also get alimony and child support. You can always go back to study, if needed, to gain skills for employment in the future. You can do it. Don’t give up. Take it one day at a time. Also seeing your doctor and getting counselling can help for your emotional wellbeing. You deserve to be treated with love and respect. Don’t settle for less .
Gather all the evidence.
Get a tracking device for his phone or vehicle.
Catch him take, phots and everything that’s his is yours and your children’s.
Get the evidence first.
You don’t have to stay. Because he is the one actively destroying the marital unit and you being a stay-at-home mom to let him continue his career you will be allowed a large amount of alimony and child care. The state will help you care for your children since they are disabled. You could get disability insurance to care for them. need to start taking some money out of the bank account and put it to the side for when the time comes to leave.
Take some screenshots of the apps and the illicit Behavior he’s doing on the web for proof later. And you better tell him to start wearing condoms because they’re all sorts of diseases out there that he’s bringing home. The minute you tell him to wear condoms he will know you know he’s cheating so you probably need to stop the sex right there. Good luck the only thing left for you is stand tall. Be strong you can make it.
You are stronger and more able than you know! You do not deserve this!! No one does!!
Same thing happen to me. I was bored one day and decided to clean out my husbands emails cuz he had over 3,000 and it drove me nuts. So here I am deleting his emails when I see a message about a woman wanting to connect in his area, I go to this site and there’s his profile on some site called badoo or something like that there’s his pic and it says he’s interested in women ages 29-40. Of course I confronted him and he said he never created an acct and fb must have did that and blah blah blah. I can make it on my own I have before in fact my life is set up for this kind of thing as I never put him on anything like cars & the house title and I didn’t include his income when I went house hunting because my logic is if we were ever to divorce I don’t want to have to tell my kids that daddy is moving out and we have to move out as well because I couldn’t afford the house payments. But I choose to stay because we have 2 little ones living at home and he wouldn’t play fair in the fight and yes he would fight for custody of the children. I’m just sticking around until they are old enough to understand that their dad is a douche canoe.
You should not have married him if you could not handle no matter what without divorce.
I could never stay with a man like that. Like many others have said you have resources to get out.
First things first communication and seek therapy
You can get a lawyer involved, your husband will have to pay for it, they lawyer can help you with that. If this is truly a deal breaker for your marriage File for divorce. File for spousal and child support. Being you’ve been together for so long with kids, you stay in your house and he can leave.
PRINT OUT EVERYTHING BEFORE BRINGING IT UP TO HIM. The lawyer can get a subpoena for data usage if the phone line does not have your name on it for account manager.
If you get denied for temorary spousal support you can have it made to where he pays for your disabled children’s care and you go get a job. No judge is going to deny that if you’re willing to work.
If you two still want to remain married and have an open relationship there’s nothing wrong with that. I can understand not wanting to start over after 20 years. But if it costs you happiness and it makes you depressed and sick to your stomach it’s honestly better to just leave his ass because no man or person is worth that heartbreak.
He is such a piece of shit for that and I’m so sorry.
Call a lawyer… And keep ur cool for a little while! He is the problem!!
Well with alimony and child support and disability for the kids I think you’d be just fine! I would definitely act like everything is fine while you get plans in order so he doesn’t try to talk you out of it because he will definitely try to manipulate the shit out of you.
All these toxic ass women here…
First, marriage doesn’t need to end.
Have you taken a single step to figure or why hes looking for something else?
What is it you stopped doing or constantly say NO too?
It’s give and take, and you heifers devising a plan to just walk away deserve to be alone.
That is all.
How’s his life insurance policy?
Kidding, kinda. Lol I’m so sorry! This is heartbreaking.
Talk to him about it and explain how you feel. That’s the first step to healing
You don’t have nothing. You have half of everything. Take the computer to a lawyer, and leave. Get a good lawyer.
You can live together for the kids and money and break up physically. Tell him you are disgusted of his behavior and feel like throwing up just thinking about being intimate with him. You can work on a plan to be financially stable and leave him.
PS it’s not something you did or didn’t do. People outgrow relationships, people get bored, people get influenced by bad friends or even things they see on TV. Don’t blame yourself.
Ask him to leave. He did the deed. He needs to leave
I got divorced over this same thing.
Go talk to a law facilitor at court it is free.
Talk to him about it first. If you still decide to leave him get a lawyer asap.
Well, Zero policy means zero policy. Husband has got to go.
Damn just for porn? Some guys have a lot of psychological problems.
That’s what child support and social programs are for. You shouldn’t feel trapped. Best of luck to you
Get busy. Be active- and do the same for a while
20 years that’s a good amount of alimony
Get doctors to help file for disability for children apply for low income housing or public housing and apply for foodstamps to help feed yourself
You are wrong, that you have nothing, You have been married for 20 yrs, you have half of what he has, If he died, you get his SS. Go talk to a lawyer
Ask if he wants an open marriage
Buy a plug in strobe light, put on some music and do what you did to him 20 years ago. He’s not looking for a relationship, he’s looking for spicy. So spicy it up! And don’t stop
My thoughts are why would u snoop threw his phone u was asking for heartache . Just cause he thought about it just makes him curious who’s to say he actually did it … I just think that nobody should go threw anyones personal things cause it can mentally destroy u .
Research with books ( searching the internet leads to evidence obviously) odorless undetectable poisons and dose his ass boom you get everything cuz your the wife house money everything.
Download the program covenant eyes in his phone and sit back and see what he is doing… then you will know for sure…
Go to adult and family services and see what programs are available to you. if you don’t already get social security disability benefits for the kids apply. Sign up for low income housing. Family services should be able to help you in finding a low cost attorney that help you file for divorce and custody. Get your own bank account and start saving. Get a post office box for applications for all this stuff etc. so he won’t find any paperwork related to leaving. Get your ducks in a row before ever clueing him to what you’ve learned. And document everything! Any verbal or physical abuse, copy every site you find him on, every email etc. Protect yourself and your kids!
Get proof! Document everything. You could file for alimony.￼
Tell him to jump off a bridge. Leave you the house and pay child support. Make his life hell!!!
Housing. Covid pays for daycare if you qualify. Single mom life is doable