I stopped talking to her because all she does is belittle my husband and i every time something doesn’t go her way.
We mostly ignore her because all her grievances are either petty or assumed. The last time I talked to her, she sent a message accusing my husband and I of talking about her and her daughter and claimed that she could hear us talking (we live in a duplex so we’re neighbors). But the thing was, we weren’t at home at that time. So when I tried telling her that we were not home, She changed the topic, called me names and told me to go “eff myself”. I didn’t wanna put up with it so I blocked her number. My husband and I then asked her husband if we could have a serious talk about her attitude when he got back home and he agreed (he was on a business trip).
When he returned two days later, I received a message from him saying they couldn’t talk because she apparently had a “family tragedy”.
So since then, we have just basically ignored eachother. After my husband told her husband about her attitude, all he had to say was “just ignore her”.
I don’t know, I really think she has an insecurity issue.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I need advice on how to deal with my husband's brother's wife
I know someone like that you don’t need them
You do like your bil said, ignore her. If she has another tantrum, just shrug it off like she’s a toddler. Maybe she’ll get the picture. I don’t talk to one of my sister in laws either, she’s just a miserable person and I don’t need that in my life, and my husband agrees. He spends time with his brother, I just don’t go! Lol
So sad breaking up family when we all need each other
I can completely relate. So sad to be so miserable like her…but it’s luckily not your problem
Ppl like that bn it’s best to stay away from, the toxic in them will affect ur happiness cut toes move on in life be happy
That is not insecurity issues it’s just toxic behavior. She’s trying to isolate her husband so she can abuse him. He doesn’t see it because love is blind. Continue to talk to him so when everything falls apart he knows he has support. Yes men are abused too. He probably is but does not admit to it.
BIL knows there’s an issue take his advice ignore her and her toxicity.
Treat her like a stranger whose opinion you don’t care about. If you’re worried she will tell other family members something horrible, they know how she is too. So just ignore it.
find yourself a new set if friends! Sounds like y’all socialize a lot! Don’t set yourself up for this kind of treatment. Let them go their way and y’all go yours! your brother in law will see the light one day. Also consider moving. Get yourself some more friendly neighbors! Don’t tell them you are moving! Just let it be a big surprise!
If someone put my husband down or rude to him more than once. I would probably bust their mouth . But I really consider moving .
First off, I’d move away from them and not be her neighbor any more.
Well… If you ever talk to her on the phone again and she starts going off… Hang up on her. If she blows up and accuses you of hanging up on her tell her you didn’t, the phone must’ve disconnected from her yelling… And then hang up again
Kind of hard to distance yourself from someone you share a house with. I would keep it short and civil. Say nothing more than necessary to her and let her figure out her stuff. The neighbor on the otherside of my bedroom wall has been very difficult and I have resorted to using white noise machines near her walls just to keep her from calling the cops regarding my dog doing one bark every morning. Maybe she was embarrassed that she thought she heard voices talking badly about her? Schizophrenia maybe?
She needs to grow up
Just because someone is family doesn’t mean you have to have them in your life… narcissistic behavior is one of the main issues with people in families and the reason why people end up getting cut off from other family members. Ignore her. If you’re somewhere you cant avoid being around her just say hi, that’s it and leave it at that. They can’t say you were rude and belittling if you just say hi and leave it alone.
I’m sorry but ignoring her behavior isn’t gonna do anyone any favors. She’s probably just going to continue it as it seems to me attention seeking and narcissistic. My father is a classic narcissist and always has been. I’d be very clear with her, that nothing was said and you won’t tolerate her accusations going forward make your boundaries and most importantly stay calm and don’t overreact to her antics. Don’t raise your voice and remember… This Is Not About You. She will respond and will either gaslight, deflect, project, verbally assault, or collapse, or maybe even fight. Which sounds like she’s already done these. You just need to state those boundaries and maintain them. She will continue to test because that is how that works. Be firm and consistent.
She is either jealous of your relationship, is feeling him or they slept together…put her in her place!!!
Well, you’re talking about her now behind her back, so she may have a point.
So she has a insecure problem. Ignore her . Plain & simple
And…continue to ignore her.Thats all you can do.
Just ignore her… you blocked her. Get over it and move on. If your BIL is fine then you’re fine. The family tragedy is that she’s hearing voices.
I guess I’m just different because I would’ve cussed her a** out and called it a day. You’re too timid and you haven’t put her in her place yet that’s why she KNOWS she can disrespect you and you’re not going to do anything about it.
Why is this Parenting? Also, since you all have been ignoring eachother for some time and continue to do so… what’s the current issue? Lame post looking for traffic.
Try killing her with kindness or do what everyone else is suggesting and cut her completely off. Block and lock.
Do what ever it takes to make you happy and life stress free
The World seems to be falling apart and alot of our family members are or will be falling away from us… regardless of how much we love and want them in our lives…they don’t want to be in ours… though it breaks our hearts to loose them…they don’t want to come to reunions…or even our homes any more…we just have to go on with our own lifes and stop chasing after someone who doesn’t want to be caught…
Looks like the husband knows exactly how his wife is. Just continue to ignore
Or your husband told his brother u were talking about her
Tell her tf off. Stand up for yourself and ffs move!
Are we all grown ups?? This sounds like highschool drama. If you two can not get along, don’t speak. You are gong to have many situations in life were you’ll encounter people you do not like but the spouse is family or a friend. What exactly is it you want the brother to do? He can’t alter his relationships because you don’t approve of his significant other. Agree to disagree and let it go…both you and her. You don’t have to like each other and can be mature enough about it to coexist in the duplex setting.
The he said she said, talking about each other and nitpicking is for teenagers…time to start acting like adults.
Talk to her the way she talks to you. People hate that. What’s she gonna do? You didn’t marry her. She doesn’t pay your bills.
She isnt feeding you, financing you, or fooking you…so dont let her bother you…block and bye felicia
Nah I am not ignoring blatant disrespect…you go over there knock on that door make sure her husband is home inform her again that u weren’t home when she heard someone talking about her and that you suggest she gets professional help or to stay on her side and not to ever contact me again unless she is ready to apologize and admit what she has done.
Why is so hard for this lady to just say brother in law… both wives are the problem and the brothers are caught in the middle smh
Lots of people get happy putting others down
Young one - you are doing exactly what you need to do- being the adult in the situation.
Why talk to the husband? She’s a grown woman. He can’t control her attitude. Go directly to her. If that isn’t an option, just cut off contact with her.
I just wouldn’t be around if that’s the way she wants to be.
Sell the house n split ways completely.
Her attitude and behavior is on her, not your husbands brother so maybe don’t put him in an awkward position in the middle. Doesn’t sound like confronting her would do any good, either so the best thing you could probably do is just continue to steer clear but I’d be looking to move bc that is an awkward situation
I would ignore her and cut her off. I would move that’s ridiculous
You need to move somewhere else. It would make somethings easier. And tell her to mind her business.
Insecurity issues? I’m going with mental health issues. Take brother’s advice and just ignore her until she really crosses a line
Gotta sister in law who is the same way honestly just smile and nod and limit what yall say and do with her be the bigger person itll catch up with her eventually
Idk why you would let it effect you so much as an adult. Her husband was right, just ignore her. You don’t owe her your time or stress. Let it beeeeee
That’s drama you don’t need
Maybe she just doesn’t like you🤷♀️ why insecurity
Just ignore her and move on with your lives
Send her the number to a psychiatrist and tell her to speak with them about the voices she hears talking about her because they aren’t you’re problem maybe she’s on meth. My old neighbor was on meth and swore they could hear us talking about her from across the yard, while we were at work.
I mean your already ignoring her for the most part. So why feel the need to waste energy on her now? It obviously isnt going to change. And giving her that time and attention is just feeding her with what she wants.
Boundaries are your friend. Keep her cut off.
Some people are just toxic. Some for mental health reasons, some are insecurities and some are just that way. And they won’t ever change. Don’t let toxic people into your life or back in.
You’ve asked to have a sit down conversation with all 4 of you together and it hasn’t happened and told by your BIL to ignore her. I would just do as told and ignore her until they reach out to you and then o wouldn’t agree to talk unless it’s everyone together for the conversation