Perhaps it’s not my place to comment, but you either trust him or you don’t. And if you don’t then you’re not doing either of you any favors by going through with it.
If he can’t be trusted dump his ass but nit before showing him how that feels .we ladies are better than that
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Idk. I had these problems too until I talked to my husband about this stuff, and we know each other’s boundaries now. Like it’s one thing to chat and it’s a whole other thing to be flirty and hit on each other. 
people are people.
Don’t get married he can’t be trusted and you don’t respect boundaries.
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Ah hell naw!! Run girl!!!
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If you feel the need to snoop through his shot do not marry him.
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Red flag. I “let it go” and here I am 3 years later, in a nasty divorce.
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Snap chat
Snap his neck
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Not right, slap his dick off the wall
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You both got some reflection to do before getting married…
Why you snooping through his phone?
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Oh definately! Don’t do it
If he’s doing this now the. What will do in the future x
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Talk to him, but be prepared for him to be mad that you snooped
You sound like you already know the answer
Sending love and healing 
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Yeah stuff that- get rid of him! NEXT!
what did he do wrong?
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Sit him down and talk to him about it. If you can’t trust him then you shouldn’t get married to him. Getting upset because your man talks to another girl that you don’t know or never heard of does not make you insecure. If yall are getting married he needs to know your friends and you need to know his. If my husband messaged some girl I didn’t know I’d be pissed too. If you have his phone password and he’s never hid anything from you then I wouldn’t worry too much unless you found something inappropriate.
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I don’t think him telling someone he likes their hair the way it is, is bad.
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He was just talking about her hair, now if he said something like you shouldnt have cut ur hair because I like to grab a hold of long hair when I’m hitting it from behind…than Yeah but ask him or if you remember the girls name hit her up …find out if there’s even anything to worry about.
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He mentioned her hair, it doesn’t really seem odd to me.
I’m also unsure why you felt like you had to snoop on his phone. You obviously don’t trust him. So I wouldn’t get married that’s for sure. Based on your lack of trust. Not that he made a remark over hair. Jesus.
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Run girl!!! It will never change! I know from experience unfortunately!
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He didn’t do anything wrong ?
your other half is allowed female friends and allowed to compliment them on something like their hair. I think your lack of trust is the reason why you shouldn’t get married not the fact he has friends. I’m sorry you feel betrayed but I think you’re in your head too much. you’re not allowed to get possessive over him and demand that you’re the only woman he can talk to in a nice way. I’m assuming you’re adults so welcome to adult relationships. their life doesn’t have to revolve around you 
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I mean,stating “I like your hair long” seems to me like him showing interest in her. Why should he care what another female does to her hair? He has a girl.
If he said “ your hair is nice long” that is more of a compliment lol not hey,don’t cut your hair because I like it long. Well tell your girl u like long hair not another woman?
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Snap chat is built for cheaters 
but he problem i see is you already dont trust him if your snooping. No offense if you feel like its an issue it is. Even if hes not doing anything wrong. You even made a post about what you should do. If its weighing on your mind that much you already know what you should do. You shouldnt marry someone you dont trust period.
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Communication isn’t key. Comprehension is. Talk to him.
I don’t think it’s a question of if it’s right or wrong because things aren’t so black and white and it varies from person to person, relationship to relationship… What I think is this:
If it bothers you and feels like a betrayal then yes it’s a problem and you should address it. Now how far you take it is up to you (talk about it give him a chance and compromise to work through it or realize that it’s something you don’t want to put up with and it’s something you can’t forgive and will hold over him in the future, so you end it) because for some, talking to others people about liking their appearance is cheating and some isn’t (just like the is porn cheating debate) so you need to think and decide what works for you and what you want out of the relationship and if you love him enough to let that go and move past it.
However, I do notice a small red flag that you felt the need to still check his phone. This says, to me, that you may not fully trust him… And hey, I totally get, I do it too and I’m not proud and I’m working on it because I know and realize that it isn’t him I don’t trust, it’s me projecting my insecurities onto him.
So it seems there’s some issues that need to be worked through on both sides should you choose to stay. If I was you, my approach would be to think about what it is I want and fully understand how I feel so you can work up communicating your feelings and telling him what bothers you so you can both decide the best thing for your guys relationship. (That is unless you’ve realized you just want to end things, the you can just express your hurt and end it.)
I hoped this helped a little bit. Again, I’m not saying you SHOULD do this and that this is the right and only way, I’m saying that this is what I would do. So I hope my opinion helps you realize that you either agree or disagree so you know what it is you’d like to do about this whole situation.
So sorry you’re going through this, even if it’s not a big thing to others, simply put it made you feel some type of way, and that’s never fun. Well, good luck and I wish you the best !
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Fuck the hair it’s the “ I like it long” why does it even matter to HIM what length another woman’s hair is ?
I would let him know if I am sharing attention then I would like to wait and see if I still want to get married …
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Would you snapchat a dude saying that? 
If you’re asking the question, you already know the answer.
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If your questioning chances are you know deep down the correct answer to your question. Trust was already broken and the small but big deed has been done. Your gonna spend a lifetime wondering and checking your back every chance that you get.
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Ask him how would he feel if some dude sent that message to you, but honestly That’s a huge red flag!!
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If you’re on his phone you’re gut is telling you something is going on, trust your gut
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He needs to go immediately. Either you are the only one or he is gone
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Is this lassie his friend? Because I have a male friend that I am very close with and we compliment each others hair and he is in a long term relationship with a very lovely lassie shes brilliant I love her trust in her relationship she doesn’t stop him from being my pal there is just complete trust between those two xx
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Was he hiding the conversation / friendship ? If yes then time to move on 
You’re snooping and this is not like he told her she was hot or he asked for pics. Friends tell friends they look better with one hair style over another. Sounds like YOU are the one not ready to be married. At least not married to him if you’re insecure enough in the relationship to be doing and thinking stuff like this.
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If it’s a haircut he’s either gay or really into her but she’s not into him. Leave the situation since he settled and that’s not a good sign. I was told was if I cut my hair my now ex said. “I would look like a bulldike and he would leave me. If it’s a friend that’s a girl he didn’t care what she did.
Depending on the situation. First, confront him. It may just be an old friend. Second, it’s a hair cut and this doesn’t sound like flirting. Third, just tell him you feel uncomfortable with this. And ask if you can meet his friends. To make you feel a bit more comfortable. Relationship is built on trust and communication. Talk to him.
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Depends on whether or not you would be okay with him having close relationships like this with other people for the rest of his life… if it bothers you now, it will bother you forever. It’s not about whether he is right or wrong. It’s about the fact that it makes you uncomfortable. Every relationship has different rules. If you don’t like him being close with other people in this way, then he is not the man for you.
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Just because someone is with you does not mean they can’t talk to another person ever again. This does not sound at all like flirting. If you can’t be ok with your guy having other relationships and friendships with others, then what does that say about YOU? Possessive isn’t cute.
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If you’re asking, you probably already know the answer. It’s really according to what you expect in the relationship. Personally I’m not ok with it but everyone is different.
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He is interested in other women. He’s not ready to marry you.
If you move past this and forget about it, you’re just enabling him to do it again.
Just calmly tell him “Hey, if you aren’t ready…I understand. But I can’t be with someone who is constantly seeking attention from other women. That’s just going to hurt me in the end, I have to protect my heart and leave you alone.”
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Or maybe try communicating instead of snooping… but also, talking about hair and him liking it longer isn’t flirting…
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Have you met the girl if you do not know her and your engaged that is a issue. I do not have issues with men having friends who are girls but if your at the point of engagement you should know all friends including girls. When you engaged it must be honest with each other hiding someone is not being honest. Frankly should you be snooping no but that said your engaged getting ready to get married you should be open about stuff. once married I believe husbands and wives should be able to have access to each others phones. sound like neither of you are ready for marriage and if you plan on getting married I would not do so without going to pre marriage counseling.
If my husband was doing this I’d be guttered.
Each to their own but I know how loyal my hubby is and he’d never do anything like this.
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Depends if you know of her, and if they are truly friends or not. If not, then I’d say he definitely has no business getting married.
Have a heart-to-heart talk with him before you jump into ANYthing, breaking up or marrying! And if he says she is a “friend” or “cousin”, then he should be willing to introduce you both! Take it from there, and best wishes!
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Return the ring and go your own way. To break trust at this stage of the relationship is a big deal and an outline for your future together. He isn’t paying what your worth and you can not have a happy, fulfilling relationship this way.
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You feeling the need to snoop in the first place is the first red flag, the fact that you found him talking to someone you don’t know about is the second. I wouldn’t wait for a third red flag to at least address the situation and be prepared to end it if you can’t feel secure in the relationship!!
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End the relationship! This will only get worse with time…
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Depends who the girl was…is she some random girl online or is she a long standing friend? Guys are allowed to have girls for friends and still be faithful to their partners. But if it was some random girl I’d have a lot of questions…
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If you “snooped” on his phone that means you knew there was something going on. Now it’s your choice if you want to stay or leave.
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if you feel you need to snoop that’s problem number 1😌 finding something that upsets you, problem number 2💗
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The only evidence you have is that he told someone they shouldn’t cut their hair? Maybe you should ask questions before jumping to conclusions
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I mean maybe they are just good friends, I have mostly guy friends and yeah I ask them about my hair to get a guys opinion on what looks best on occasion. We talk about everything, so I guess it depends on other variables. I wouldn’t leave though unless there are other issues not mentioned.
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It doesn’t have to be so dramatic. TALK TO HIM. If he reacts negatively or makes you feel you can’t come to him with ANYTHING… leave him. Be glad you’re snooping now instead of 3 years into marriage. Also please for the love of God do not have children with anyone until you are 1000000000% sure he is the one for you.
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If you snooped then you felt you had a reason to so that already shows you are wasting your time.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them. If you choose to push forward and get married, despite what he’s showing you…you can only get angry with yourself when this behavior carries over into your marriage. Marriage doesn’t change people or their behaviors. Healthy boundaries and honest/open expectations is a must. Don’t just expect that he knows what you need from him…tell him.
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After learning so many lessons the hard way, I finally learned to go with your gut!! It’s there to protect and no matter how much you want it to be wrong, it never is! Deep down you already know the answer to the question you are asking. IMO, he is not ready for being engaged/married or even a “steady boyfriend”, he is still hinting. Dont settle!
Have a conversation about what is inappropriate to you in a relationship. It sounds stupid but I’ve learned that some people are ok with flirting in a relationship…and some are ok with more…set your expectations and go from there.
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Maybe talk to him about it… if it was my husband I wouldn’t assume he’s flirting but i know him and his mannerisms… so Idk your bf so not sure how he acts… but it’s a pretty friendly thing to say and guys are aloud to have friends… if it makes you uncomfortable talk and see if y’all can compromise if not then it probably won’t work out anyways
If I go into a partners phone then I am being nosey and saying I don’t trust you.
So when I find this ammunition to start the war I convince myself I was right in doing so.
I don’t check dates as to when it happened and I don’t find out who the person is or what relationship they have.
I am just loaded with everything I need to start a war and finish it accordingly to my best interest.
I would never admit to having insecurity or being jealous or even being dishonest by going there.
NOTE. I would never go into a partners phone anyway I would be asking questions to find answers and making sure I had my facts right
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1st of all I would NEVER invade his privacy nor would he mine…we are best friends & every day is a new journey because I never know which of his friends I will meet. He has female friends & I have make friends but at the end of the day that’s all they are…next time you decide to snoop in someone’s personal property ask yourself this …“am I doing unto others as I would have them do unto me?” If not then you’re more than likely in the wrong as well…just my opinion🤷♀️good luck
The best answer for me would be…
Ask him about the girl in question
See what he will say and then depending what he said, you can take a look later ?
Or just ask him to stop you are engaged soooo you are not supposed to have secrets !
Look, people can tell you that you’re right or you’re overreacting. At the end of the day only YOU know what sits right for you and what doesn’t.
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If you are already snooping through his phone, then you should really think hard if you want to get married to him. Insecurities from lack of trust will definitely bring down a relationship. Good luck!
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Ur snooping because u either already feel like there’s an issue and are trying to validate ur feelings or u have trust issues from previous relationships/friendships/etc…if it’s the issue of trust from prior relationships I would seek counseling/couples counseling to work through it. It’s healthy to have friends outside of a relationship even those of the opposite sex, it’s not healthy thinking ur partner wants to sleep with them just kuz they’re the opposite sex. Only u can answer the question ur asking. Ask yourself why u were snooping in his phone, a relationship is built on trust, if u don’t trust him u need to figure out why and go from there.
I think it kinda depends on the circumstances. Maybe ask him about it. I have a few guy friends that I ask their opinion on things like that sometimes.
Tell him what you found and go from there. If he is giving you reasons to not trust him you should come forward with it because marriage is a big deal and it’s your life. I hate when people don’t just say what they mean, he won’t change just because he is married.
i dont see the problems if he liked ger long hair…just because its the opposite sex doesnt mean anything…unless its sexual
than i be concerned
…i have guy friends but my husband knows them…i dont keep secret s…
If you feel insecure, don’t get married. It shouldn’t be his business if other girl wants to cuts his hair. So a man like that is not need it.
This is where u set ur boundaries. U set the expectations of what u require in a relationship and this is where u compromise. Decide what ur deal breakers are and hold ur ground.
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Does he know the song by n’sync hunny "bye bye bye "
Don’t marry that man. He shouldn’t be having opinions on another woman’s hair.
If you felt like you had to snoop in his phone that’s reason enough to reevaluate your relationship
So he’s not allowed to ever talk to anyone?
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It’s a conversation about hair… Not sure it’s worth losing a potential marriage over, you need more info to make a decision.
But why were u looking at his phone in the first place?
If you need to be in each others phones you have no business being in a relationship
Well the fact that you felt you needed to touch his phone is a sign that you have some major issues. Guys can be friends with girls and vice versa. I’d confront him and if you don’t get straight answers get out. Because marriage isn’t going to cure a cheater. (if he is one)
Are we this desperate for a man that we need help from others to determine whether we should stay with someone who is doing this?
My advice is if either one of you has any doubts, there is nothing wrong with waiting. Waiting, not necessarily cancelling. Insecurity, trust issues, commitment issues and a multitude of other things may be playing into what’s going on. Maybe some premarital counseling would benefit you both. Anything that makes you guts stronger can only be a good thing. Good luck!
Do you know about her? Had he talked about her? Is he willing to introduce you two??
You are right … keeping secrets isnt good for the relationship
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If you’re snooping on his phone, you already know there are issues and it’s time to depart.
Doesn’t snapchat delete all your messages. Why not use a different messanger that doesn’t?
IMO if you feel like you need to snoop …marriage might not be a good idea
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I thought snap messages disappeared?
I wouldn’t like it 
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I wouldn’t marry him. He should be interested in you no one else.
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I definitely wouldn’t marry him because he’s cheating
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Him talking about a haircut is not the point !!
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My advice would be to RUN
Yes you are right. Listen to your intuition or you will pay the price later. Blessed be 
If you are having to check his phone I think you already know the answer.
Sounds like you already know the answer to your question
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I’d be careful and I would definitely ask questions.
Don’t get married if you feel you have to snoop
Sounds like you were suspicious in the first place if you felt the need to go thru his phone.
Talk to him.
Run. Now. If he’s already doing it it’s just gonna get worse.
You need to have a conversation about what your boundaries and expectations are. While some don’t think this is a big deal, others will think it is. Everybody has a right to set their own personal boundaries in their relationships. If you make it clear to him that this is not okay, and he does it again, then I’d say it’s time to reevaluate whether or not your expectations are compatible enough to stay together.