U should stop using your children as an excuse to stay. And think about what they will grow up thinking is normal behavior for a man.
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That is not ADHD! N i can tell u i am with someone who has PTSD n has bipolar depression n can go manic n its scary. But let me tell u this he can be so mean n angry but he does everything he can to not be like that. Hes been taken to pine rest for a few weeks to be evaluated n was put on medication. But what u are dealing with is narcissism he is “punishing” u. Thats him knowing exactly what he is doing and he is not like that from a broken home so thats not how ur child would become one. Your child would become 1 by watching it in ur home.
Bring an asshole does not equal ADHD.
Get out now before your kids grow up and treat their spouse the same way. Your children learn by example and if they see this on a daily basis they will believe it’s the way it’s supposed to be. I know it’s easier said than done but I went through it too and I left and divorced my husband for the sake of my children.
Call his Dr tell them what he is like. He was NOT honest with them. Or leave before he hurts you.
My mom just went through this she’s out now, finally got him out of her house, yes she left her house, everything just to get away from him! Please get out, his own Only daughter has nothing to do with him because she has dealt with it for years, & finally said I’m through.
Narcissism. I just left one after 3.5 years. It’s tough. Stand your ground and do what’s best for you.
What about your kids becoming just like him? By staying you are telling them that this behavior is okay. So you’re not doing your kids any favors by staying
That’s not ADHD first of all. It doesn’t cause agression. I have ADHD. Not once have I acted out in the way he has. He a narcissist. He won’t change. 4 yrs is too long of a time to wait for some one to change. That’s not at all love. Leave now while you can. Don’t even tell him. He wants every once of control it seems like. But you can be in control of your own life. Look for the resources out there that will help you run & never look back.
Leave immediately. Take your kids and your things with you. I was with a narcissist. There’s no changing them. They will ruin every bit of you if you let them, and feel no kind of way about it. Everything and everyone is just a pawn to get what they want. And he sounds abusive on top of that. And then he’s using alcohol. That will be his scape goat the first time he beats you. And he’s already telling you that he’s punishing you and acting like you deserve it. Those are all mental head games to break you down and keep you in a submissive space. Get out immediately and seek counseling so you don’t go back. If you can’t do it for you do it for your kids so they don’t think this is normal and seek abusive relationships later on. They will also need the counseling if you don’t get out. There’s no excuse for his behavior. He knows he’s mistreating you and he’s even admitting it. Get out
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He will never change. He enjoys watching you in pain. He IS a monster. I lived that life for 15 yrs… get out now!
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Oh my dear, please leave
Sounds like my husband of 26 years RUN as fast as you can!! I am four years out of my marriage and I still am suffering from him… please do your self a favor run!
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You didn’t mention anything he does that makes you happy…leave
I lived like that for 8 years and we even went to couseling and it never stopped. Then the hitting started and gets worst from there. The kids were scared to death of him. I finally woke up and left, not easy. He won’t change hon you need better for your children. GO.
This sounds like borderline mental abuse. Girl GET OUT SAFELY WHILE YOU STILL CAN!!! I know it’s scary I have been there. But girl think about what your children see and how it’s going to affect them in the long run!! Unfortunately this to me sounds like mental abuse and abuse can be cycled. What do you want your kids to witnesses and think is ok? That’s what pushed me to leave my oldest’s dad. What kind of man did I want my son to be??? What kind of household did my son deserve to grow up in??? I packed a back pack full of clothes for me and him then left for fear of what could have happened had I confronted him. BEST desicion I ever made. We were free!!! You can do it. There are shelters and programs just take it one day at a time. But I know you can because I did.
Leave while you can! Run like Hell
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Sounds like narcissism to me.
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Make a plan to leave. This will not get better it gets worse. Much worse by the minute. Think of this: would you allow your child to be treated this way? Would you do everything possible to protect them- then leave as fast as you can. Money will come. Friends will help. You have to save you and your kids. It will be one of the hardest things to do- I left with nothing but my 2 small kids. It was so hard on so many days. But every day was better than the last one with him. And he tried all the narsassitic tactics. But once you don’t play there game they move on to the next. And your life gets better. You win. My heart goes out to you.
Watching that video as if from the point of view of my son changed everything for me.
If you’re really willing to do anything to help him then leave him and by doing that you’re not only helping him but also helping yourself
Go join the Facebook group narcissistic abuse for women. It has over ten thousand members.
PTSD- this is characterized by anxiety and flashbacks to a past traumatic event. This doesn’t sound like it.
ADHD- hyperactivity or inability to focus can be a problem he has but doesn’t seem the problem you are having with him.
Narcissistic- sounds like the fit. This is a personality disorder and one of the most difficult ones to treat. The individual will not admit to being this was and will turn it around into someone else’s fault. They love placing the blame. There really is no treatment for this other than a lot of therapy because it’s his personality which can be changed, but is slow to change. I think I read somewhere that they tend to grow out of it.
I think maybe he could have narcissistic personality disorder superimposed on a mental disorder.
I applaud you for wanting to stick with your marriage. That is a tough choice to make and I hope you seek professional help for both of you. Therapy can do wonders.
It doesn’t have to be one OR the other, many sufferers of one mental illness have co-occurring disorders. He sounds like a handbook narcissistic husband to me, but that doesn’t mean he has NPD. So, say he actually is ill: Does he want to get better? Does he accept that he needs help? You cannot force or prompt his recovery from ANY of the disorders you mention; it’s either his decision or nothing. You can use the DSM-5 to educate yourself on these disorders, but he would need a professional to diagnose him. You also want to look into his PCL-R scores. It is very low that he harnessed your vulnerability from previous relationships, and unfortunately many people do this (spot the wounded puppy in the crowd and victimize them). I left my narcissistic fiancé and it was the best decision. He hasn’t changed one bit. People have successfully recovered from these disorders, but it’s a voluntary journey, you can’t force it. I suggest you DO NOT confront your husband about his potential diagnoses, but rather plan your stealthy escape, or decide to stay and pay the consequences. But if you stay and confront him, you are increasing the hostility and putting yourself at serious (even lethal) risk.
Yeah, sounds like narcissistic abuse. I’d leave, for you and your children’s sake
I read the above yesterday … Nobody has the right to abuse you i hope you find strength and happiness soon lovely lady…
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Run. Run as fast as you can. If someone isn’t willing to take responsibility for their own growth and healing there is nothing you can do to change that.
That is not adhd…sounds like he lied to dr.
Sounds like the it was jail talk even tho he was not in jail
Girl I’ve been there exactly where you are at. Long story short my husband also is a alcoholic and very hateful when he’s drinking said all kinds of bad things to me about me and somewhat physical at times , I put up with 11 years of it and finally had my fill I left and am doing 10,000% better. I lost everything with him everything had to start from the ground up several times but I now have everything I need and I’m not going through this crap ever again with him. Better by my self 
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Look up Kim Saeed… She offers so much info on the subject, even for those who choose to stay.
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I would simply call this abuse. I’d be willing to bet he wasn’t being honest with his dr., which is why he was given that diagnosis. I’m sure he left out his treatment of you. Based on the simple description, I wouldn’t immediately tag this as narcissistic either. Abusive is really how I’d categorize.
Girl been though this same exact shit get your kids out of there now. And yourself. I almost died from staying. Message me if you want to.
No. There is no cure. There is therapy but no cure. The person themselves has to put the work in and it sounds like he isnt going to.
Please leave him.
Its only going to get worse. If you have kids you need to for their emotional well being and for all of your safey.
Love and marriage doesnt mean someone gets to abuse you. Thats abuse. Nowhere in your vows did you promise to love him while he abuses you.
Please love yourself and your kids more, have him leave and i would have someone else there when you tell him- police or family that you trust.
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Are you dating my ex?! Narcissist…get out!
You have a conscience and a gut feeling. Listen to it. If he’s willing to get help them get help together. Don’t send him in alone. If he’s all talk and no show about getting help. I see that as the answer and cut your losses and end the relationship before it’s to late. You also could educate yourself. Knowledge is power. Also, are you willing to stay and find out WHEN he will throw you out that window? He doesn’t like himself how can he love you? Aren’t you worth and deserve the best? Do you trust your life with him? Would he save you or save himself? Like i said you have the answers.
Get out as fast as u can, it will only grt worse! He needs help from professionals.
Allowing yourself to be treated such way and having children is setting the standard and expectations of their relationships how they are treated and how they treat others. Your relationship is an example for them. I think it’s more than ADHD personally. He should seek a therapist
ADHD my butt. It’s alcohol. He thinks you should put up with his immaturity? I say NO!!!. He either stops drinking or you are done. Do Not let him say he,ll try then go right on as before. Somewhere in his past, he has gotten away with “I will do better.” Then doesnt. Your gut says leave…LEAVE
You can’t help someone that won’t help themself. He is a narcissistic abuser and will never admit to that. Something really f up happened to him as a kid to make him that way. At least that is what I keep telling myself. And I have information to back it up. He needs to seek out a pschycologist or pschyatric doctor and go to therapy in additon to medication. ADD meds will only make more aggressive. Good luck to you.
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There are deal breakers and emotional and physical abuse are one of them. I used to be you. I left after 8 years and it has been 20 years since I left! My kids are grown. I married the man of my dreams 15 years ago and I still wake up every day with a smile. Download the Aspire that Robin McGraw has. Educate yourself in domestic violence. Form an escaped plan hun. Your going to need it.
Sounds like a manic bipolar and narcissistic!! I’d suggest for your mental sake you leave
Girl… get out. Xx iv just escaped that 6 months ago xx
Whoa whoa whoa brakes on honey as soon as he said he was punishing you time to take your losses and out the door you
You can’t deal or reason with Mental illness. You can’t change anyone other than yourself. All you say about the way he treats you is Mental illness a very true you can’t do anything about it. Either he turns everything over to Jesus and becomes totally free which can happen. But Mentally illness right now is very strong in American today. Pastors suffer from it are acting to the same way and are even killing themselves. If you are strong enough in Jesus yourself you can trying to stay and pray and fight with him in his battle against his Mental illness but it will take its toll on your life and your children if you have any. God doesn’t ask you to suffer or carry the cross Jesus did it already. You can not win against Mentally illness unless both of you give EVERY THING OVER TO JESUS IT WILL NOT BE AN EASY ROAD. it will be Blessed road. You will have to stay 24/7 in the Word of God and Counseling.
That’s not adhd. That’s depression and abuse from his drinking. Leave now it will only get worse. He’s a abusive male that uses excuses for his behaviour. It will only get worse. I have two sons who is adhd and they drink and they don’t carry on like this.
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He’s an abuser. Read the book Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft
Leave him. Eventually it will go from words to more physical,he already throws things at you.
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He is a narcissist. For better or worse doesnt mean abuse. Get out of that, do u want your children thinking it’s ok to be treated like that by someone… well that’s what u teaching them
U just have to see him thru sobriety…tell him ok well if it’s not hard for u to quit then give me a week of sobriety just so I can decide if I’m staying or going
Leave before it’s too late
This is not PTSD not ADHD this is just him being a controlling, abusive a$$ and you need to get out before it gets worse. Everything he is doing is abuse and he sounds just like my EX husband. He can talk a good talk to get you to trust and then once they have you hooked the real them comes out. He has no desire to treat you right, he just wants to control you to make himself feel better. Get out now cause it will get worse and you will lose yourself and your children will continue to suffer as well.
Get out! Take your children and leave! This is abuse. Period
Sweetheart, it sounds like you know already what you need to do, but your waiting for someone to tell you it’s ok! Well it’s ok to move on and have a healthy and happy life. Your children are watching everything your allowing him to do to you. If you have tried to talk and reason with him then it’s time for you to take the next step and go find a better life for you and your children. You know the old saying that sometimes love just ain’t enough, well there is a reason for the saying! Good bless you for wanting to help him but don’t drag yourself down with him. He chooses his actions and now you must make a hard choice if you and your children are safe? Good luck dear, and God bless you!!!
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Run fast. Before it turns physically dangerous. Not joking
He’s a narcissist to the core. The ONLY cure is the Lord. He can seek treatment but he won’t because he sees no fault in himself. My strong advice to you is RUN, BABY, RUN and never, ever, ever look back !!! If you stay he will destroy you !!
#raisedbyone
#marriedone
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He’s narcissistic. No, there’s no way to help him. I know from personal experience with my birth-monster… She’s a narcissist too and there is no saving her either. The only way to survive and be healthy (for yourself) is to cut him off. I’m sorry. I had to do that with her. It was the best decision that I ever made. Good luck. <3
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My ex was like that. We would get in an argument and by the time we were done I was crying and apologizing even though I did nothing wrong. He lured you in with the charming ways and once he had you that way he could let the facade slip. He will not change unless he wants to no matter how much you love him and he says he loves you. Cutting someone down is not love. Someone who loves you would never think of treating you that way specially if they know your past. I know it’s not easy and you don’t want to give up on helping him but I suggest leaving.
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You are only treated the way you allow people to treat You! If you allow to be treated as a doormat then you will continue to be treated as a doormat. marriage is a 2 way street, it’s not one person working at it and not the other. It takes 2 to make a marriage work. If you want to continue an unhappy, unhealthy life then stay, but if you have any self love or self respect then leave. I don’t know or understand how someone can love someone who treats them like shit!
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Honey he is the definition of a narcissist and as far as I know there is no cure for it and they refuse to see the faults in themselves or the pain they cause and because they refuse to see it they don’t change. Now he may not have hit you yet but it is coming if he pushes you and throws things at you he will eventually hit you. You may not want to leave him and you may love him but that is not the environment that you want for your children or yourself. You want your children to grow up in a happy loving environment everything they see and hear will affect them and can damage them emotionally even from a young age. You really need to consider leaving him
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Hunny leave him and leave quickly. No one should treat you like that especially not your husband
He will keep doing it run far away before your trapped . I been living this hell for 22 years it sucks.
Leave this jerk. Do you honestly think it’s going to get better!! It will get worse. Get help DON’T say a word to him he will be good all of a sudden to get you back. Call someone agency to help you. Praying for you!!
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And yet you stay, I can understand loving someone but when you are constantly disrespected when do you stop to think about you,I will always love myself more than any man
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You deserve to feel safe and you deserve to be happy,
Please get your self somewhere safe before it does get physical. I was in an abusive relationship for wayyyy to long. Eventually wound up getting stabbed 14 times before I got smart and left. Please don’t let that happen to you. Get to safety. Get counseling. Your worth more than you think you are. No one deserves to be belittled or treated like that.
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I totally understand ur position. My ex and father of our boys was that way. He said all the right things to me long distance and when it came time to be with me he changed, but I loved him. He couldnt keep a job very long and it was always their fault not his, we kept moving alot, our oldest son witnessed all of it, the drinking, the different jobs, the moving, the fights, the degrading I felt on how he’d want me to dress, so on and so forth. By the time our second son came along I was yo the point I wanted to leave but couldnt because he had made me think I couldnt do anything on my own with 2 kids. I worked and he didnt because his drinking got so bad. The fights got worse and I finally got to a point were enough was enough. I finally divorced him after 15 1/2 yrs of marriage and he is still the same. But it has caught up to him. But I wasted so much time being in a marriage that was bad and my oldest suffered for it. He does have some issues from it. I did try and get him help but he didnt want to let it work. But now I’m happy, my youngest is happy, my oldest is doing better and I’m married to another man who treats me and my kids way so much better. But it is up to u in the end to decide to continue or day enough. Only u can decide that, no one else. I had to do it for my kids and myself and I wished I had gotten out way sooner than I did.
There’s no cure, at least with you cause you have already excepted all of his mistreatments and disrespectful ways.
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I was once in a relationship like this. My best advice is run now. It never gets better.
We answered this already
You need to leave quick!! That’s an alcohol problem! Get yourself and your kids safe before he actually put hands on you!
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You are in an abusive relationship. Domestic violence is very real, I lived it and was lucky to survive it. Please remove yourself before he hurts or kills you
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Narcissist, I ended up marrying the same. I stayed 17 years, it only got worse. They get nice again when you go to leave, then when they get comfortable again, the abuse comes back worse than it was before
I feel like this was on another page… leave him before he hurts you and your kids.
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Get the fuck out. I’ve survived this twice. It does not ever get better.
Narcissist. If possible. Get out of it. You are worth more.
Sadly , it doesn’t matter if he has mental illness. You never treat a woman this way . It’s always a out and truly it’s not
I would get out before it gets worse.
You shouldn’t be doing everything for him . Two becomes one when married . It should be together .
Pushing and throwing stuff at me. I would have left and never went back .
Sounds exactly like my situation!
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Get out now. It’s not going to change. Sorry girl.
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Mine too…I got out… but it was horrible
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Sounds like way more than mental health issues. Especially because alcohol is involved and the fact that he outright says he wants to punish you she have actually pushed and thrown things at you 😟
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My son has ADHD. None of this sounds like ADHD. Intentionally giving you the cold shoulder and making you feel like you have to walk on eggshells, that sounds narcissistic. Maybe he hasn’t hit you, but throwing things and pushing IS physical, and it IS abusive!
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Google Gaslighting its exactly what hes doing
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Sounds like a narcissist. What my dad is and exactly how he acts. As far as the yelling and blaming others besides himself.
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He is abusive. You have to leave. You and the kids deserve better. It will mess up your kids if you stay.
Alcoholic is mostly what I hear out of this story.
Narcissists will never admit to being one. You’re in a domestic abusive relationship. You need to get out it will never stop. You’ll spend years trying to “fix him” but it’ll never happen. You’ll end up a shadow of yourself xx
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He’s abusive . It’s only gonna get worse ! Been there done that ! RUNNNN
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Please go back and reread what you posted. Pretend a friend posted it, what would you advise her to do? You know what you need to do…
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Counseling or tell him BYE!! It’ll only get worse 
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Adult adhd is those symptoms but his meds aren’t going to be effective if he has a drinking issue only make matters worse. So he needs to try seeking couseling with his drinking and then his adhd meds will start showing improvement. Usually it takes up to 2 months in adults for meds to start working.
Sounds like my ex who snapped and almost killed me and did a that stuff first
Thats not adhd thats a narcissitic bipolar nut job get out
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And its easy for someone to say leave him. But its your marriage and your life. If he’s having these issues and this is the first time hes trying to get them under control by seeing a dr… It shows he wants help.
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You need to get far away from him!
As women we always try to help people and fix other ppls problems but it’s been long enough girl! Don’t keep putting up with someone who treats you like that. But FYI could he have a drug problem? Like pills coke or meth? I dealt with that from my husband and he acted just like your saying yours is acting.
just a thought…
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I stopped reading halfway through. Leave now. He must quit drinking, seek therapy and survive 6 months without you before you ever try to even consider giving him a chance.
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If your peace really matters to you. Leave
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Adhd in children is totally different than in an adult. You have to realize this adult probably has suffered with it all their life and never diagnosed so their symptoms worsened over years.
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