Do you two plan to get your son out of foster care ?
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Here is my advice.
Stop worrying about guys.
Start worrying about your kids, starting with the one in foster care.
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If I were you I wouldn’t put any sort of focus or energy on a man, I would put all of my energy towards getting my child back, making sure I had a stable career to provide for my children and enough self worth to be happy alone.
Once all of those are accomplished and I’m truly happy with life then I would put a little bit of energy into finding a partner.
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Taking back an ex is like trying to shove a turd back in your bum. It already didnt work attempts to get back together failed and you want to try again?? And with another man’s baby when you couldn’t care properly for the first one. What’s stopping CPS from taking this one??
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I’d advise you to see a therapist or a pastor first… between parenting, broken relationships and new beginnings… these options would be a first step
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You sound so selfish. Please stop having kids.
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Move on he is a lost cause and they are an ex for a reason, think about your baby and the one you can’t look after instead of yourself and guys
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Only you as a mama know what is right! You and your ex did what you guys thought was best for your son! And all that matters is that he is happy ! And now it’s time to make the right choice for your new little! The answer will come in time 
I got back with the guy I was with before I met my daughters father and now him and I have a beautiful son together ! And we have been together for almost 3 years ! It was the best choice I ever made!
You got this mama !
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These comments don’t disappoint!
Maybe your priority should be becoming a better parent and taking any steps necessary to get your son back or make sure you are doing everything you can for this new baby. Maybe ask for advice on that topic instead
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Ppl change in life marriages dont work because your young dumb and stupid and dont know how to work together and things dont work out . And ok so what if u lost ur first child if uve got ur shit together for this go girl. Ur putting ur child’s feelings first leaving them with the family that raised the child and has giving ur child a good life. I hope ur still part of that’s childs life now . Yall have had time to mature and grow up and it could work out. I know this with 3 other ppl that got back with exhusband many years later and the are happily married. U need to decide in ur heart what u want the indecisive things goin on in ur mine says something to ur gut listen to it !!
Remember you know him but we don’t. Are you for real?not concerned about the child in foster care but yourself.
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So what I am hearing is you’ll just leave your kid in foster care and chase a man after you’ve already gotten pregnant by a different man. Wtf is wrong with people? Hie could anyome “support” this behavior? GROW up and stop chasing dick and getting knocked up with kids you can not or will not care for.
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That sounds toxic . Really really toxic . Concentrate on being a mom first … get your kid back .
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You should be worried about getting your son out of foster care and the baby you have on the way, not the two dudes that helped put you in this situation. And they didn’t do this to you on their own, you helped. You need to grow tf up and stop worrying about dick and worry about your babies.
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Omg I can’t believe you even want advice about this, are you serious?
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be a mama first, and in my opinion this post is ridiculous, did you ask “ how can I have a baby and keep it”? No you asked “ how can I take my new kid from this dude I have been screwing, with me and play house while my first kid -with old dude—-is calling someone else mommy and daddy”?
My advice? Stop breeding, get yourself together, go get your kid, and leave men alone until you know what a real man is…
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After everything, you’re worried about whether y’all will work or not??? Smfh 🤦
You broke up for a reason.
You need to focus on getting your child back. If y’all don’t raise your first child what in your right mind makes you think he will raise another man’s baby
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Let’s get your oldest out of foster care first then you can start worrying about cock
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Learn from your past. Never go back to your ex. If he left you for another woman, he’d do it again.
Your priority should be to the baby that you’re carrying. Take parenting classes, reach out to your community resources. Attend church, parenting classes, MOPS group, etc. Build that good foundation of friends and community for that baby. I would work on getting that child in foster care back, if it’s an option.
Maintain a sober lifestyle for your children.
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This has to be a fucking joke lol
Shit girl you need to shut your legs and stop chasing men. You are ruining lives and you dont even care.
Worry about being a parent first 
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Don’t try to get your first born back, it’s obvious the child is in better care, and don’t go back to your ex, he’s a dead beat too, he also let he’s child in foster care. The best thing you can do is stay single, and concentrate your efforts on this baby. Stop chasing di#k.
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Incubator, not a mom
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Don’t call yourself a mother or father if you don’t have custody of your child.
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Is this a joke? If it hasn’t worked out before, why would it work out now? Why aren’t you focusing on getting your son back?!?
Okkkaaayyy first off. I feel like you are going from guy to guy because you cant handle being alone and need some one to provide for you if you dont have your first child you have no business having another. 🤷
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Its sad to think you care more about a dick then your own child.
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He is called an ex for a reason.
I hate this page yall always putting somebody down lost a fan
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Wow just wow I think you are a selfish self centred sad excuse of a parent. Think about your kids they didn’t ask to be born
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This cant be real! Nobody can be this ignorant!
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If it didn’t work before you can’t expect things to change.
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You can’t go back you have to move forward
Perhaps delete this post. Re submit with the whole story. Because as it sits, everyone here is only intrested in name calling and passing judgement on a situation they know fuck all about! Give that a try.
Okay first thing first. Work on getting your oldest son back…then maybe stay single for awhile and focus solely on yourself and your kids, and by that time, I’m sure you won’t want any of those men
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People can get mad at me all they want for saying this but I have ZERO respect for people that don’t put their kids first especially those that lose them to a very broken foster care system, and just continue to pop out more while the previous child is still in the system. That system including CPS fails children time and again but the problem starts with the parents. And if you are more worried about your next relationship then the well-being of your children you should be forcibly sterilized.
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If at once you don’t succeed , try , try again . Don’t know who wrote that one buy my mama always said that to me .
I say focus on You and your new baby! And everything else will fall into place! Good luck mama!!
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I think instead of running to a man, run to your family or Jesus. Whichever is best. Ask for help!
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Definitely focus on the baby first. If you want to keep this child in a loving home where they know YOU as Mama, then focusing on them first 100% is important.
If you don’t plan on keeping the child, (Newborn boxes are everywhere nowadays, and the safe haven laws are great) then that might be something to consider.
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This right here , set your priorities straight smh
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Take care of yourself and your baby
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Mommy, please be careful… this man couldn’t build a family for your first son. How must that child feel? No man! He must piss off! I agree with the other ladies…Get your older son back and when you restored that relationship…see how you feel about him. In a few weeks…this is too quick…be a little self centered his not worth it. You can do better for you and your kids. As a single mother when I feel like I’m scared to lose him to another woman, I walk away coz that vibe is a sign from the universe. You don’t need him, your boys are enough!
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Be a mother to your children before a woman to a man!!
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What about the father of the baby you having now?
He left you for another girl once. He’s not going to change no matter what he says.
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Don’t go back to EX it won’t be betterl You or Ex are most likely the same and you are pregnant now. Take care of your new baby. If you don’t want to be a Mom put baby up for adoption, Many couples can’t have children of their own.
Uh, you should probably be more worried about getting your first child back and focusing on how to take care of your new baby so it doesn’t end up in foster care. 
A man should be the LAST thing on your mind. 
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Go forwards not backwards
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Instead of trying to get your ex back focus on getting you baby that. That should be your first and main priority
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If it’ll help bring your son home, do it!
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Of its never worked out it’s not going to
Ok to everyone saying she should concentrate on getting her first son back, i disagree.
you all need to think of the child. He knows his foster parents as mum and dad! How can you instantly assume he would be better off with OP (bio mumma bear).
He would be ripped away from the only people he knows as his parents.
To OP, darling you are amazing. the strength you must have after what i can assume has been a hard road will get you through this.
If you really want to try with your EX, only you know, in your heart of hearts, if its a good idea. My only advice is, when you have a clear mind, sit by yourself, think, set some ground rules for your life as a mother and some other ground rules for this possible new relationship.
You do you mumma! Dont listen to the haters, you are trying your best and thats all anyone can ask
🧚♀
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Instead of worrying ab a guy try worrying ab ur baby an getting ur son out of foster care smh 🤦
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I would forget about relationships and concentrate on trying to get your first kid back!
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More interested in men than getting your child back and ur pregnant again?you should be ashamed of yourself!
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a ex is always a ex for a reason… Work On yourself and How You plan to Keep this Baby in ur care. for whatever Reason u Lost ur Oldest. If u dont Care or plan on keeping this baby Dont have Anymore Kids! as harsh as that may be.
I would Aswell work on getting Ur Oldest Back Or Contract Often if u dont already have that.
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Quit chasing dick, improve yourself.
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Leave the past in the past
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Take it from someone that has been back and forth with a man if it didn’t work out in times past it’s probably not going to this time either. Focus on the child that you are carrying and be the best mom to him and if you don’t already have a job get one and forget about these men that don’t want to be around they are not good for you nor your child. One day when you are least expecting it a good man will show up and you will know it
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really get yourself together first . sounds selfish .you lost one child now bringing another into your chaotic world… your second child father never around first child in foster care… why even keep having children when mentally and emotionally you aren’t ready…
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worry about the upbringing of your new baby and stop worrying about yourself…
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If it has never worked… It will never work. Think of your kids. They NEED YOU. Stability. Love. Not a twisted version of it.
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I would focus on getting my child out of foster care instead of worrying about another man. 
what is wrong with people!! Grow up!
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I’d probably worry more about getting my son back. I also doubt if you two lost custody of one child that they would let both of you raise this one. This post truly saddens me.
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You are the dumbest person iv seen on here get your other baby and put it and your other baby when it gets here first not that no good bum you want to get back with
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First of all…STOP HAVING BABIES!! Go to the free clinic or planned parenthood & get SOMETHING🤯Seek counseling about making better life choices, please😔
Ashley you are dead on. My thoughts exactly.
Well I think this post has been answered
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Wow, just because her oldest is in foster doesn’t mean she necessarily gave him up or LOST him. Sometimes you all don’t need the WHOLE background story of how it happened and her oldest knows the foster parents as HIS parents, why tear that child away from what HE knows and is happy with? A mother’s love knows no bounds and even sacrificing our wants and our needs to ensure the fact that her oldest stays happy I’m sure thats why shes not intervening into his life and making it chaotic. I speak from experience. A lot of you are so quick to judge. And honey, my heart hurts for you, I know how tough it is, trying to hold on to something that relates to your oldest, but he is an ex for a reason and if he hurt you multiple times, maybe its best to let him go, and focus on the well being of yourself and your soon to be child. If the foster parents will, maybe they’ll let you be a part of your oldest’s life, but its not worth holding onto something (especially a man) who could be toxic for you. Go up, forward, make steps to improve and better your life, don’t hold onto something that could take you steps back just because you’re trying to hold onto the idea of your oldest.
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Please stop having kids
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If your oldest son… calls his foster parents Mom & Dad… leave him alone!!
You have no right to turn his world upside down, again!
Focus on baby # 2 instead!!
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I say it depends on why y’all didnt work out before? If he was cheating. Doubt that 'll change. If y’all were young and scared. It could work…
But think about why your first child was removed from the home. Is that fixed now? Will this second baby get to stay with mama or likely end up in the system too. Your oldest was luck he has foster parents who actually care. Some aren’t so lucky…
You need to focus on you amd taking care of this baby. Maybe keep is casual til baby gets here. See how things go. I wouldn’t jump into it.
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Your scared your going to be left for another girl but not that you will lose a 2nd child to foster care? You need to get your head checked and your tubes tied.
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Maury show coming soon:thinking:
If the relationship didnt work out the first time round what makes you think its going to work for the millionth time. If you think he is ever going to change his ways then your sadly mistaken i think he only comes running back to you after another failed relationship because he knows what to say and do to convince you to get back with him it wont be long till he sees another peice of skirt he likes the look off and he will leave you again. Just forget about him and concentrate on yourself and your son if you plan on trying to get him back and your unborn child. Kids over men anyday for me
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This site is for advice not shaming some off these comments are horrible there is giving advice and being nasty we tell kids not to bully but we think it’s OK adults have feelings to and you have no idea how shit your words have made this poor woman feel 
I think more info is needed for anyone to give a good answer. The reason being is 1- why is your oldest in foster care? There are so many reasons just one is maybe you were teenagers and thought the best place for him was with someone else. Doesn’t mean you’re a horrible mom or your child shouldn’t be with you. However if it’s something else like abuse or neglect that’s different. 2- I see so many people telling you to get your oldest back why on earth would she turn his world upside down if he is happy? Going back to number 1 don’t know how long he has been in foster care he may not even know who she is 3- really examine WHY you want to be with him. Right now being pregnant you have so many emotions and hormones going through you I would want to make sure you are thinking of everything and not trying to kind of find a father for baby number 2. Examine why it hasn’t worked in the past (again more info needed) is it something that he and you can really grow from and could have changed?
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So your worried about your feelings???
How does your son who is in foster care feel? How did he feel when he was taken away from you??? Why was he taken away from you???
What about this new baby.
Try work on being a mother first befor even thinking about men cos clearly you can’t pick them 
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Stay away and work on yourself!
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I am going to advise you by saying: There isn’t much to go on, but I am thinking you sound dependent on men. What you need is to build your confidence and self-esteem. If counseling is available, please, please go. Make an appointment with a female counselor. If you cannot then buy or go to the library and get books and workbooks on self-help, building your self-esteem, confidence and assertiveness training.
What may also benefit you is journaling. Write something in your journal every day. This is for your eyes only. You don’t share this with anyone but your counselor, if asked.
The whole point is to build yourself up and be a stronger person for your children. This is not the time to get together with anyone!
It is going to take work, but you will appreciate the new you. When you reach a place in your inner self, you will be a power house for you, your children, and maybe a relationship.
Good luck.
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I don’t think you need a relationship with anyone until you get yourself together.
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Don’t worry about being hurt again, worry about the kid you don’t have and worry about getting fixed after this baby
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How about stop with the men and try to work on you and raise your kids… This is head splitting Maury crap right here.
You need to focus on bettering your life and environment perhaps work on getting your first child back and preparing for a new baby. Chasing relationships should be the least of your concern. Best wishes for u and your kids
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You said your oldest son was jn foster care not adopted? Why aren’t you concerned about getting him back? This is why we should have population control or compulsory sterilization.
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Holy Trashy McTrasherson. Get your freaking priorities straight and stop making new people when you obviously can’t make one good decision in a row.
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Well, first of all, you’re a stupid hoe. . Second of all, maybe you need to learn to keep your legs closed. Third of all if you were any kind of parents at all, you would have your first son with you. . And last of all maybe you should try for once to do it by yourself. . Because clearly the dude that you were with that you had your first son with you guys are clearly bad and toxic for each other. . Dumbass
I think you should concentrate on yourself and the little human in your belly if the ex has let you down before you don’t want bring that around your little one x
You should be working on new birth control, not old boyfriends.
A few life tips for you:
- Old habits die hard, old boyfriends die harder.
- Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.
- When making decisions always ask “What’s the worst that could happen?” If the answer is “We could put another child into the system.” (It is, btw) Then you should walk away.
- If your child has been living with other people, happily, for enough time that he has started calling them mom and dad, perhaps it’s time to let them adopt him.
- Kids come first. When you have kids, you should raise them, not more dicks.
- You should be using 3 forms of birth control at all times. Long term hormonal (ie Depo/Mirena/Implant) + a condom + pull out.
- Work on improving yourself before you work on improving your sex life.
- It’s ok to be single and masturbate for years at a time. (Well, don’t masturbate continually for years, that’s not healthy, but… you know what I meant)
- There’s no time like the present for self improvement.
Good luck!
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How about you do better for yourself so you can do better for both of these children. You don’t need baby daddy number one to get your child back and you clearly will be alone for baby number two as well. You know the answer to your own question… get your life together chick!
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So you’re not trying to get your son back but you want a pos man who’s already proven who he is and he doesn’t have custody of your son either. Yea, makes sense. Sounds like you deserve him.
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He’s an ex for a reason and you said that you guys have already tried several times and he is still an ex …best to leave him an ex
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Seems like y’all already had ine kid taken away when y’all was together. So is that the plan for the second child to?
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So another child can end up abandoned and fatherless? Um no. You worry about that baby and yourself and thats it.
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The only guy u should b worried about getting back with is your little guy. And making sure u dont lose the baby u have once its born. Too many kids in foster care. Yea he may be with a good foster home but that baby will grow up asking why he wasnt enough. Is that really what u want to happen? I am a foster parent and i also work at a residential and all my kids ( both at home and my work) ask that me that question all of the time. And its heartbreaking to hear the pain and suffering in their voice. So if u seriously can not put ur kids first and worry about them before being selfish then u deserve nothing but the same misery that those angels are and will b going through.
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What is wrong with you? Your child is in foster care and you are pregnant again and youre worried about getting your ex back? Get your head straight and think about your kids instead of a dude. Dudes come and go but your children are a piece of you and youre really okay with it because “its a good foster home?” Good foster home or not any good parent would be focusing on bringing their kid home not the person theyre gonna sleep with next.
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