If she wasn’t being mean and simply minding her own business you shouldn’t be so upset. Maybe saying something would have put her in a bad work situation. Forgive and move on. Don’t take it out on your number one.
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I get it she wanted to mind her own business. You’re a grown woman stick up for yourself. And I’m never not hanging out with my best friend unless she does something absolutely terrible.
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If the only way he’ll do archery with you is if you see her, he’s too controlling. If you won’t allow him to do archery at another time with them, you are too controlling. Either way, run.
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I don’t see this as hes picking anyone over you, she didn’t do anything wrong, yeah she didn’t stand up for you, but you also didn’t stand up for yourself, just because shes the opposite sex does not mean he’s cheating on you with her
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So I can possibly understand that she would stay out of it for preservation of herself and her job. I think not talking to her or her husband may be harsh and asking hubby not to would be maybe harsh too. (lots of details missing.) with that said the red flag here is that your husband is saying he won’t do things with just you without her and/or her husband.
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Your first mistake was thinking he cares. Swallow your pride and get along or get out, might not like it but it sounds like that’s what your going to have to do, is it right, NO but its reality.
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I read this to my fiance and he says the husband and his best friend are banging.
I don’t know but I can tell ya my fiance wouldn’t do this.
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I personally don’t see this as a big deal. If she didn’t step in who cares. Your a grown woman who can make choices for yourself. You guys are all adults so I don’t think cutting her out of your life is fair. Life is too short to hold grudges. Keep moving forward
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Unpopular opinion here, FIRST, You should be his best friend , second , my husband or myself doesn’t have friends of the opposite sex, third , if you feel hurt by her not upholding you, he should stand by YOU not his friend, marriage is a team of you two against the world , not the friend. Spouse comes first always!
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I think its a bit harsh, if it was the other way around I wouldn’t let any one tell me who to be friends with. I would 100% speak to her and say you felt really hurt she didn’t stick up for you and that has compromised your friendship but to ask your husband to not be friends to her is too much. If this was a woman asking im sure people would say red flag hes controlling etc. Have an open chat about it, tell her how you feel and discuss how you can move forward from it
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You should of stuck up for your self and not expect your husband’s best friend to do something about it when you weren’t even doing anything about it. If your gonna be mad at anyone it should be yourself. Because how can you be mad at someone for not doing anything when you won’t even do anything for yourself, either stick up for yourself like the adult you are, tell management, or find a new job. Easy as that. And as for your husband picking her side over yours is totally understandable all tho you are his wife doesn’t mean he must agree with everything you do or say and probably was thinking the same thing that she did nothing wrong and he’s not willing to lose his best friend because of you not being able to deal with your own life’s conflicts.
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I would kick my husband out and tell him to go live with the ppl he chose over me. I know it sounds petty but you don’t put anyone before your spouse.
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I’m not sure what the bullying was for or how the bystander was connected to this…but the girl who stood by and did nothing would be someone to watch in the future or avoid as she clearly did not mind people bullying you or she would have at least said something in your defense…I would ask your husband why he thinks you are being unfair towards her…I would also confront the girl and ask her why she didn’t help in the bullying incident…your husband shows lack of compassion towards you and in a way is standing in the other girl’s corner…archery with her and her husband would not be appealing to me in the future…or anything else …you have to deal with the situation as you see fit…I would surely pick another hobby with just you and your husband to get involved in and keep a distance with the girl and why is SHE his best friend to begin with? That in itself is strange…sounds like he is picking the wrong best friend…YOU should be his best friend and he should be sticking up for YOU.
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Need more info on what was happening but the fact that he won’t do anything without them is really stupid… Do they go on your dates with you too? Sleep in your bed? I dont understand that part.
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Is your husband’s best friend a teenager? You mentioned that she is a girl, not a grown woman. Just wondering how they formed a friendship in the first place. It seems kinda inappropriate.
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I would tell him to go live with the other people. Since he didn’t won’t to be by my side as my husband. He is not acting like your husband. More like hers
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I have a few co worker who I have seen bullied and treated mean , I have their backs always , i don’t care who bullies then or treats them bad, I always will stick up for them. It’s so wrong. As. for that husband , he should have his wife’s back , 150% , and yes , we can all sit there , and say, " a person should stick up for their self , blah, blah, blah, " but if it were the other way around , you mite want someone to have your back too !!! There are always mean, back stabbers at work, unfortunately…
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Did you stand up for your own self? We dont know what actually happened at work but you should have gone to HR or a supervisor. As far as her not stepping in maybe she doesn’t need to lose her job over something you should handle, if you were being verbally bullied you should’ve handled it…she would only step in if someone was physical. As far as your husband he is friends with both the woman and her husband. So is he supposed to give up being friends with this couple that you both have hung out with? Until this incident you were all friends. Unless you honestly think he’s messing with the woman then I believe you should step up and have an honest straight conversation with your “friend”…maybe just maybe she really felt uncomfortable about getting involved in your work situation because it did not involve her and you’re a grown woman and could handle it and report it.
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Its not her place to stand up for you to the bully. That’s your place. This is a work place and she has a job to think about. You need to handle that part yourself. As far as hubby and this chick though…NOT! No way in hell my husband going pick a chick over me and I stay with him. Sounds like hubby a bully himself and you have learned to take it. Something definitely going on between them two. Stand up for yourself and stop letting people disrespect you starting with hubby first.
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Maybe she was to scared to speak up and defend you. Talk to her directly about it to clear the air.
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She didn’t do anything wrong. Learn to stand up for yourself. It’s nobody’s job to rescue you. She was just minding her own business.
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He’s showing more love and respect for HER. Your the wife, he needs to figure out what and who’s more important, you or her, because at this point sounds like HER.
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I’m going to need more information here. What exactly did the author expect the husbands friend to do? What constitutes bullying to her because I’ve worked in a warehouse and had someone do something recklessly dangerous and was reprimanded, less that I thought and she got very dramatic and yelled she wouldn’t put up with this bullying and quit. Honestly, playing devil’s advocate here bullying blatantly in front of others is rare without being sued these days that I’m thinking it was more of a dramatic reaction to a reprimand in which case, yeah no one is going to “stick up” for whatever wrong you did and risk their job too. Is the husbands friend and her husband financially able to go without her salary for being fired or suspended because she said anything? Is there a history of being dramatic at the littlest things and the husband and his friends are fed up and have decided to stop reacting to every perceived slight the poster is offended by? Are they hoping she’ll grow up and decide to participate and be friends like any adult should instead of demanding he completely cut these people out of his life just for her? I’ve known manipulative people like that and this post reeks of “I’ve done nothing wrong and everything wrong is always ALWAYS being done to me and my husband is no longer supporting every single request I have for him.” 
This is not going to be a popular opinion, but there’s two sides to every story and we’re only seeing hers.
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What was said person doing to bully you? If you were getting your ass best and she did nothing that would be one thing but aside from that she did nothing wrong. You only think it was. If it happens again stand up for yourself or tell a superior to have it dealt with.
First, the wife needs to have a discussion with the friend. Explain to her how she feels about the situation. See where that conversation goes. If the conversation goes no where then tell your husband. Maybe have a sit down with him and his friend. If he continues to think you are in the wrong after the conversation I would evaluate your relationship if he genuinely has your back if anything else comes up.
HUSBANDS NEED TO BOND. WITH & SUPPORT THEIR WIFE----
THE HOLY BIBLE IS THE MAN &THE WIFE’S GUIDE…
DO NOT STAY WITH A SPOUSE THAT DOES NOT EXIBIT LOYALTY; YOU— YOU. BE LOYAL TO YOUR SPOUSE ALSO.
BOTH SPOUSE HONOR GOD & THE HOLY BIBLE. <3
THERE IS NO LIFE WITHOUT GOD. & THE HOLY BIBLE! boom!
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Grow up and talk to the lady yourself. If you have a problem with someone, handle it don’t expect your husband to
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Wow…you’re his wife…he made his choice …if you don’t mind being at the bottom of his to do list stay…I’m concerned because this is a similar issue for me…its about my worth who I am what I need …I’m worthy of someone who puts me first second third ectect!! The relevance of whether he is cheating is illrelvent he already chose her friendship then he chose his friendship (husband) then he chose them and then he chose himself! Where do you and your wants ,needs, understanding, where are you in this…I’m sorry but I left…give it some thought…
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I’ll tell you like I tell my 8 year old son …… all you gotta do is stand up for yourself ONE GOOD TIME and that person will never bully you again. You can’t rely on anyone else to come to your aid girl you gotta put your big girl panties on. It might be uncomfortable for a moment but let her know you’re not the one to mess with.
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Make new friends…hang out with them…ALOT
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If he won’t do archery with you without her sounds like they are more than just best friends.
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Your husband is sounding questionable right now. The way he’s sticking on her side is not looking good on him.
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If this woman was his best friend long before you were in the picture then I’m sorry but you don’t have a leg to stand on in this battle , personally I would have stuck up for you however some people go to great lengths to avoid confrontation and you should have stuck up for yourself. Honestly I understand your hurt but I think you need to decide if it’s worth causing major strain & stress on your marriage?? I’d just let my feelings be known and move on .
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Find your own friends and start doing your own thing. It’s not being disrespectful but taking care of you.
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Ok. Is he two? Why is he picking her over you?
No way ma’am. Not how it’s supposed to go
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Your husband isn’t loyal.
If you have a problem with her, Y’ALL have her a problem with her. ….that’s how it’s supposed to work…
It’s not her place to get involved, is never expect anyone to step into my stuff, except for my hubby. I’ve had issues in the past with hubby’s friends, I just quit going to things I knew they would be at while I calmed down, I personally wouldn’t ask him to stop being friends with them over this, that being said, he could’ve been more sensitive to your feelings and I’m sorry you feel so betrayed.
Your husband doesn’t sound very supportive at all, my husband won’t go where I feel unwelcome or hurt by someone and the same goes for me. Sounds like it’s time to sit down and have a long conversation with your hubby.
I’m confused at why you are upset with her for not getting involved. STAND UP FOR YOURSELF!!! I was raised to never take shit from anyone, I never have and I never will.
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He would think differently if you were to walk out and never come back!
You must demand respect from your husband.
He shows zero respect for you.
If he saying he still wants to hang we her and won’t go with just you there a red flag with them but regards with her not standing up for you that’s show she not a friend but not worth you worrying about
You might need take closer look at their “friendship” all ima say
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Fight your own battles is how I was raised
First off if she was ur friend to n not just ur husbands then she would of helped u out n for another ur husband needs to grow a pair of balls if he can’t think of u to n back u up n also I think there sleeping together
EW !!! All the way around girl 360 DEGREES EWWWW the WHOLE situation ! I found myself GASPING after every sentence! Drop her, then have a serious talk with your husband. He needs to drop her too, I know DAMN well this man is NOT choosing this woman over HIS WIFE !!! No question about it. Fix it. Put your foot down, don’t be a pushover. & the next time somebody bullies you PUNCH THEM IN THE THROAT!
You can’t expect adults in a workforce to risk their jobs and income for you.
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If she’s his friend, she should be your friend also. And if she’s a real friend to you, she would of stuck up for you or atleast pulled you away from the situation or something to end the bullying. She could of asked you to take lunch with her and got you away from it. Yes you are a grown woman but if your friends don’t have your back, what’s the point? To just stand there and watch? And your husband should not be not willing to do that with you because she can’t go. I DARE my man to try and act this way, I’d straight up leave. I know I might sound petty and controlling but my man knows that if she’s “your friend” she better be mine too. Or she’s nobody’s friend.
If he too won’t stand up for you, he’s gotta go. 
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He probably has no idea as to what it is like to endure that kind of shiet
Red flags. I think he’s having an affair with her. Why would your husband force you to play nice?
Unpopular opinion you better check that “friendship” and anybody that says different hasn’t been fucked over… Yet!
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Find another acher group if thats the only problem, but sounds like one part of a bigger problem to me
With out having both sides and the full story hard to comment
Not sure if you stood up for yourself, but you should never depend on anyone to fight your battles but you, and as far as him kick his ass out hes banging
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I would pack up n check out. No way that crap.is carrying on in my relationship.
Well damn. I would be hurt too but u have to take up for yourself. And secondly swallow ur pride and apologize for over reacting. She is not responsible for u. U were hurt and didnt understand why she didn’t have ur back. This isnt high school. U gotta take care,of u. And your husband definitely needs to choose his words better. In a nut shell he thinks this is petty and not a big deal…he shouldve of listened to u and talked u down so u can understand its,no one else job to defend u but I’m sure if he was there he wouldve had ur back. The last thing I don’t think he is cheating…now if they only hangout together and talk late at night then id stop that. If y’all all hangout then its not a big deal.
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If my man does not stand up for me, its time to get a new one.
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So I may be the odd ball out but id say okay bye have fun with some one else’s wife t**l bag
Why are so many comments saying leave him, he’s cheating, give the bloke a break!
He is choosing her over you
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He’s putting another women 1st…red flag!
Best friends will understand one an other’s feelings.A couple will understand. If that is not import anymore, what is left??
I feel like there are a lot of missing pieces that could better get an answer… becuase as this stands, it wasn’t her business to get into and making your husband stop talking to his best friend is fucking stupid. I would NEVER expect my husbands best friend to stick up for me, and honestly he probably wouldn’t, because I’m a grown woman and can handle myself. The same for my best friend and my husband, and I certainly wouldn’t stop hangin out with my best friend for something like that. Now, if the friend was doing the bullying or you were getting the shit kicked out of you and she did nothing, it would be a different story…
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Some of these comments🤦♀️GUARANTEE they would have a different outlook if it happened to them.
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I’d tell em all to go get fkd! 
too bad he isn’t standing up for you as much as his “friend” that’s shady af!
F that. She was wrong and so is he! Find a new husband who knows the wife is the bestie!
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Get a new husband who likes archery.
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No man should choose a friend over his wife
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Marriage comes first before friends, the spouse should respect the other no matter the situation. This is how my spouse and I are, one isn’t comfortable in a situation then we don’t participate in the situation due to respect for the other, friend or family situations both.
Sounds like there something underlying here. Lack of trust? Jealousy? Prior affair?
It sounds to me like whatever this underlying issue is, prompted you to see an opening and jump. This incident seems generally minor but you responded with a drastic action.
Grow up, stick up for yourself at work. You’re the only one with the problem and going right to cutting someone out for something you should take care of is immature.
I’d also never put the blame on someone else.
They’re involved way too deep. Pack his shit and tell him to go live with his best friend.
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For me, it would be over the line if he laid it out like that.
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I haven’t let someone tell me who I should and shouldn’t be friends with since the 5th grade.
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Your a big girl. Defense is up to you.
Well if he ain’t backing you up and kick him to the fucking curb
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The lack of respect and love he has for you is concerning. Sounds like more than a friend to me
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Putting a female friend before your wife is a red flag to me. I wouldn’t put up with it.
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Have you not had the discussion with her directly? To let her know how you feel? As long as you don’t attack or accuse, but have a calm and rational discussion perhaps she will apologize. Then you will have both learned something and can move on. But you really can’t expect your husband to give up his friendships any more than you would let him tell you who you could be friends with.
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I have a bestie that’s a dude and if my man who is also his friend but they aren’t close like he and I are anyways if my man was in a situation my bestie would be right next to him because my bestie knows that man is my other half and my happiness and as my friend will have his back to have my back its simple this chick isn’t his friend and he isn’t respecting you and your feelings my husband has female friends and I am 100% they would jump in for me and I would jump in for them too this whole situation isn’t kosher
On my house your either with me or against me. You need to pick a lane unless it’s family. I would never make him choose between his family or me but just a friend? He better know better.
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That’s messed up that he told you your feelings don’t matter basically. I get that at work, it can be complicated. But if my best friend’s spouse were someone’s target I’d come to their aid. I wonder if something is going on with the husband and “best friend”. And he’s telling you he won’t hang out with just you? Sounds like your problems run deeper than the bullying. He’s an asshole.
I’m not sure there are enough details here for any of us to be helpful, it’s not really the friend’s place to stick up for you though, you aren’t children and there are HR departments and managers to report workplace bullying to without anyone else having to risk their safety or jobs to rescue you. Your husband should be supportive of you but his friends aren’t married to you, it would be nice if you were all friends but he obviously doesn’t think the situation was dire enough to sacrifice the friendship with her and her husband over so it’s either you overreacting or him just not caring about you, you should find a neutral party that knows more about the situation to discuss this with because you’re too close to the situation to have a clear view and be open to the idea that you may be wrong. If you’ve had a good marriage until this and he usually is a supportive spouse then you’re probably overreacting and he’s just trying to get you to think reasonably. If he makes a habit of choosing other people’s side over you then you’re not in the right marriage. I wouldn’t jump to the conclusion that they’re sleeping together until you have a calmer perspective of the situation either, it’s always a possibility but we don’t know the full story here, “bullying” could mean a lot of things and he probably knows you better than strangers on the internet. You need to talk with both of them, calmly, and figure this out like adults.
Why is it her place to say anything. That’s you’re place. I agree with your husband on this
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over reacting. ur an adult. shes doesn need to rescue u just cause ur being made fun of. stick up forur self and stop being such. a snow flake🤦🏻♀️
If your partner is not on your side their not your partner.
Sounds like to me he rather be with his friends ,bye bye hit the door nomatter what y’all come first he should respect your decision …
I’d find my own best friend and go hang out with them…leave his non loyal ass behind
Oh my God if his Wife don’t like the woman then he shouldn’t associate period… Who’s he sleeping with at night.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I was being bullied at work and my husbands best friend did nothing: Advice?
I’d just confront her about it
I’d tell him… Well pack ur shit and go live with her then !!! I got you… I get where ur loyalty stands !!! BYE
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Throw the husband away
Are you sure that your husband is not having a n affairs with her
Not good…He will slow it down coward
Would your lifestyle better with him or without?
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Oh sister!! Kick him to the curb!!! It will only get worse!!
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I would say. One. ThingGrowUp
He’s a coward too. Go find a real man and people to hang out with
Find your own friends