QUESTION:
"I have two kids, ages 7 &12. My ex pays CS. It's been a few years since we did a CS review. I found out he recently got a new job that doubled his salary. My question is, if I voluntarily leave my job to be a stay-at-home mom, will I get more CS? I can't afford to be a stay-at-home mom unless I get an increase in CS. I'm worried because both of my kids are in school most of the day. Will a judge see it as unnecessary for me to be a stay-at-home mom if the kid's aren't home most of the day?"
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
"If you can’t support your children, then let them live with their father until you can square things off financially. Now if you are working and what he is giving you is not enough, I would revisit child support, only if he is not helping with anything extra like clothes, sport fees. Your ex getting a raise should not be a career opportunity for you. Do better. Be a better example for your children."
"You should want to work to show a good example to your children of what a strong independent woman looks like. Sad that you just want more of what the father has instead of the drive to create something for yourself. Both parents should contribute both emotionally, and financially to their children."
"Why don't you give your kids a positive and strong upbringing by not sponging off the money he is giving to HIS kids and not you?
Work. Be financially stable. Set a good example to your kids by working hard and giving them a great upbringing."
"Please don't do that to him. He pays you child support, he may be struggling himself and found a good paying job. He should not be punished for that. He does what he's told. You're being greedy. Find a job that would allow you to be home with the kids if that's what you're wanting. It's not fair to take a free ride off of someone trying to do what's right by paying you child support already."
"They are your kids too. You share half of the financial responsibility. There is not such thing as a stay at home mom when you are a single mom. Get a job working when the kids are at school if childcare is an issue. Apply for school cafeteria work. That is what my mom did when she transition from being a stay at home mom. You work during school hours. Can have your pay divided out so you still get paychecks during summer."
"Um ma’am it’s not his job to support you, it’s not alimony , he’s only required to HELP support his children, hence the term “child” support, meaning you’re required to help as well… at that point he might as well take custody of them if he’s the sole provider for them."
"The child support is for your kids, not to support you."
"This is what's wrong with child support. He isn't paying to support your needs he is supporting his kids needs. Keep your job and don't expect him to be your provider when that's not his responsibility its yours. And you should be just as responsible to provide for those children as he is. You want him to pay 100% of their needs? While you sit pretty on a CS check?"
"You can do a child support review to update payments based on new income information, but if you don't actually need it and if he helps with the kids then you shouldn't even do that. You should continue working to provide for your own household and so you can put some money into savings for your kids and have money for yourself. Your kids don't need you to stay home, there's no reason to. Your kids need you to set a good example of responsibility and human decency, but this is not it."
"In my opinion, if what he is paying you is enough to fully support 1/2 your children’s expenses, the rest of the money should be put into an account for THEM. Unplanned medical, sports, school functions, college, a car, whatever. You taking the additional money to support yourself as well is stealing from THEM. You have a responsibility to also support your children 50% of the time. Alimony would be a different story but CS, nah girl. You need to also step up. Especially since they are in school."
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