I'm unhappy in my relationship and I don't know how to fix it

My husband and I have been together for almost 6 years, and we have 3 children. I didn’t realize it at first, but from the very start of our relationship, he has had an addiction to pornography. I understand some people are perfectly fine with their partner watching porn, but we both established from the beginning that for us, it is cheating. I would see that he was watching it on his phone, and we would talk about it. I would express that it makes me uncomfortable and hurts my feelings, and he would promise he’d never do it again, ect. This has went on for almost 6 years. But there have been a few instances where it hurt me worse than usual and I just can’t get past it. For example, I have a lot of self confidence issues with myself. It was my birthday, I wanted to step out of my comfort zone and go to the beach in a bathing suit. I spent forever online finding a bathing suit, hoping that he would love it. It came and I tried it on, he said he loved it. But within an hour on his phone, he was looking at all these photos online of other “perfect looking” women in bikinis. And it just brought me down further. Another instance, I would buy clothing items online (bras, ect.) and after I got them, he would go to the review section of said clothing items and get off to the photos that other women left with their review of the item. Or when I have given birth, the first night home from the hospital he was looking at porn. At a certain point over the years of trying so hard to just be enough for him, I have kind of fallen out of love in that way. I still very much care about him, he’s an amazing person and a great father. But I have tried and tried to forgive and look past certain things, and I just can’t. He doesn’t make me feel beautiful anymore, and I don’t feel the same way about him that I used to. I guess I’m just looking for some advice on how you would feel or what you would do in my case? I know this was long, thank you in advance.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I'm unhappy in my relationship and I don't know how to fix it

If you can’t get past it, regardless of the issue- you should leave. Staying is unfair to both of you. As far as this issue… y’all established the boundary when y’all were first together. YALL agreed it was cheating and you have expressed your feelings and it hasn’t seemed to matter.

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leave. he over stepped the boundary that u both set time and time again… it won’t get better

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Has he maybe got a addiction? I would see if he will get some counseling for it. If he won’t or ot doesn’t change then maybe the only option is breaking up

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I think your husband is not the problem. I think you have some self esteem issue and you are putting it towards your husband. You know why I know? Coz I’ve been there and it took me a long time to accept it. You should try to tell yourself that you don’t need your husband to tell you that you are beautiful, you should feel it within yourself. That way you will realize that you don’t need his approval. :blush:
I hope you can work this out, go see a therapist.

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How is your sex life? There isn’t enough info to make an assessment regarding the porn being damaging or harmless.

If you’re unhappy and don’t feel the same anymore, leave, however you shouldn’t need your partner to justify that you’re beautiful, you should be feeling that way and telling yourself that. I’m sorry you’re struggling

Porn ruins relationships, it’s degrading to women, it makes you feel like your not wanted or loved. It’s never going to go away feeling the way you do. If he stopped tomorrow the doubts and trust will still be there. I know couples who move past it with therapy. But, it takes both to do the work. Good luck with your decision.

I think both of u could use separate counseling and couples counseling. He probably has an addiction an no matter who ur with u have to learn u regardless of what someone else might look at or think. Your self esteem an love for ur body has to come from u. Also men dont think like women an he did over step boundaries an yall could try work on it in counseling if counseling doesn’t work atleast u tried and can say u tried an move on fully.

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Comparison is a thief of joy.

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He is an unfaithful man

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Awww this made me so so sad reading this. He def has an addiction and it’s not something that you can fix and it has absolutely NOTHING to do with you or how you look, I promise. Learn to love your body and find ways to feel sexy to yourself. Without validation. I sometimes do this and take pics of myself. Makes me feel beautiful when they come out right. You know?
Best of luck.:heart:

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Not much you can do until you decide enough is enough

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Girl, book a hotel room for just the 2 of you and let your bad girl out I guarantee he won’t watch porn after you let your freak flag fly!

I’m so sorry hunni!!

If it’s something you both spoke about and established early in as cheating then he either needs to respect you amd seek help for his possible addiction or you need to leave

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Brianna Branch this doesn’t seem that complicated do the deed then sigh under the breath that she wishes she had the porno package just loud enough for him to say “huh?” :joy: Man it’s hard having all the answers

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Men will always look at porn… Even the most secure relationships who’s woman think “well my man doesn’t”… Yep, he does.
To deny a man is in my opinion useless.
I get its frustrating, but I also agree with the poster above. I think it’s more an issue of your own, than his.
Saying that… Your Feelings are real and if you’re that unhappy… Then it would E best to sit him down and be clear to your boundaries and stick to them.

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I can understand it makes you uncomfortable but honestly it’s going to be really hard to find a man that DOESNT watch porn. I get that you consider it cheating & I am not saying you’re wrong for that but honestly coming to terms that it is pretty normal behavior & most men don’t mean it as a way of cheating. They have access to the internet any time they want on their phone. They get horny & they watch some porn. It’s not because he doesn’t love you or because he wants anyone else. Maybe realizing that will help you not feel so uncomfortable with it. A lot of men might say they don’t watch porn but i would say it’s very rare for that to be true.

Ummm that’s alarming!

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100% right there with you! It is a terrible feeling, 13 years together, 6 yr married and 4 beautiful girls. I have dealt with this same issue for so long! I have thrown in the towel and all i can do is pray to God to lead him in the right direction and allow him to be the man he is meant to be! Im not super religious but i do pray for my husband! It hurts so bad to find these things out, we both care and love one another, love our family, have same beliefs and want the same things in our lives… that is all hard to find. After so long its in Gods hands and I brush it off after letting him know how i feel, we cant change people! It sucks. But always remember you are a hell of a women, mother and wife!!! We bend over backwards to make everyone happy and we need to always remknd ourswlves of our worth! Its his issue not yours you do you and love yourself and be happy!!! Life is too short!

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Seriously? You need to evaluate why him looking at women he will most likely never speak to bothers you. Like for real. It’s not cheating unless there is 2 way communication. You just sound immature and insecure to me. Like grow up. Its just porn.

It situations like this, you need to be selfish and do what is right for you. If you no longer love him the way you use to, you need to take a step back and seriously think you can keep putting yourself through the same situation. If it has been happening for that amount of years as you state he clearly has an addiction and would probably benefit from some professional help, I don’t think he will change unless he gets the help. Having low self esteem about your personal image is a also something that isn’t going to help the situation, especially when you are seeing him looking at pictures of other woman. I had extremely low self strength when it came to my body image, being a bigger lady its hard to think that anyone let alone your partner can ever think your beautiful especially if you can’t think it yourself. I have been in the situation. I was with my ex husband for 11 years, and for the last 5/6 years of my marriage it only got worse, I got myself out of the situation (out of the marriage), I got myself the help I needed, I now have a partner that loves the bones of me, (I’m still a big lady), the one thing I truly struggled with was having him see me naked, but now I honestly couldn’t care. I know he loves me the way I am. We now also have a baby on the way. I never thought I could get myself out of that situation but I did. You need to be strong for yourself. But I strongly believe you need to step back and decide what you want and how you want to go about it before you make any decisions that will change your life. I don’t look back on leaving my marriage, it was right for me. Your strong enough to put this post out, your strong enough to do to what is right for you regardless of your decision.

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I know exactly how you feel because sadly I’m going through the same situation and i don’t know how to fix it!! So many times I’ve tried to leave but it’s like he doesn’t let me go!

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I think you need theraphy and start working on yourself. You need to learn to love yourself!

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As someone who used to suffer with this. Let it go. Girl it is not worth stressing over if he thinks they are prettier. He married you. He wants to boink you.

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The way I see it, you have two options: marriage counseling and try to save the marriage, or leave. Either way, you need to work on your self esteem…no one can do that for you (SELF esteem). You will continue to struggle in relationships if you don’t work on loving yourself and your confidence issues. Insecurities cause so many problems in a relationship. If you don’t like your body any more, either do something about it until you do or go to counseling to work through your body image issues. What he is doing, doing things that he knows make you feel bad, is unacceptable. If you feel strongly enough about it and he is unwilling to change, leave. If you do not love him anymore, leave. But please work on your issues with yourself before getting into another relationship. You will be so much happier if you do. You need to love yourself first.

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Leave, he doesnt respect your feelings … People are saying speak to someone together but you have said you arent happy and can’t get over it ! He married you and hes making you feel horrible and small! You have one life don’t live it being unhappy, hope your ok and your confidece comes back :kissing_heart:

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I think that both of y’all could benefit from counseling! N besides the porn issues, is he a good man & father otherwise? If so than have u tried watching with him, just because he enjoys watching porn doesn’t mean that he isn’t attracted to you, n if you make him comfortable enough to speak with u about it without judgement, yall’s intimate life will definitely benefit!

He has an addiction!!

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Leave on the lack of respect alone and like some of the other members suggested, fix the self esteem issues that he has caused. Talk to a therapist and focus on yourself and your children. Moving forward …after healing and time , never let a man have that much power over you. There are plenty of others out there who would treat you the way you should be treated and find you beautiful ,as I am sure you are.

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He is never going to stop and you’re never going to be able to forget

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Maybe he wanted a bit of fun with u when you tried these things on and you got him all excited lol

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You need to enough for yourself first. This is not his problem, it’s yours.

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This is the only life you’ve got to live. You owe it to yourself to be happy.

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I know someone that was addicted too. There is a place in Kentucky he can go to get help.

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He probably loves you very much and just doesn’t know how to reach out to you. You should touch him more. Rub his shoulders more, he would probably like that. Tell him that he’s perfect.

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Porn addiction affects the brain worse than heroin. It is more addictive.

It is almost impossible to get away from.

I ended up divorced over porn addiction.

It changed who my husband was completely.

Watch some porn with the poor guy

He’s watching it because he’s looking for what he’s not getting at home. Stop complaining, start watching and take action!

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Move on same situation now 1p yrs and I cannot stand him

Asher M Pkash what a dirt bag

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You will never look like those women in the photos. The women in those photos don’t look like the women in the photos either. What do you want him to do? Blind himself so you don’t feel inadequate? The problem isn’t his, it is yours. Until you love yourself and accept yourself as you are, you are never going to be good enough for anyone.

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Hes not an amazing person. For the girls that say it’s okay with them, it’s an addiction. No different than any other. So I guess they must be okay with a spouse drunk all the time, gambling their savings, snorting coke became really hes a great person. Hes obviously not interested in you but rather young girls since hed rather see them in sexy lingerie.

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You are enough. HE has an addiction that will continue to get worse. It is a real addiction that has many people suffering from it since smart phones provide easy and free access. Ask him to get help but as with other addictions, he needs to want to get help.

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1 watching porn is NOT cheating
2 try watching it with him
3 if not happy leave

I went through the same thing with an ex bf. He loved looking at pics of younger girls and porn. I tried everything. He was never passionate with me. He was too into himself. In all the ways possible. I wanted affection but he wanted his “ alone time” until the day he was caught jacking off to a pic of my then 15 yr old in her bikini. His ass was thrown out. If he can’t respect me or my children. He’s gone.

It’s not about you. He is addicted to pornography. If he does not get in to an inpatient treatment program you have to move on and live a life of freedom from this. You deserve it!!

Looking at porn is not cheating. You need to work on your self esteem.

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I think he’s crazy for actually agreeing that watching a previously recorded act between two other adults(hopefully) and sometimes pleasing himself is cheating!! Hell, if that’s the case I’m a serial cheater and haven’t been with anyone else physically since I’ve been with my boyfriend. Sometimes, I know this to be true for myself, that when you go looking for shit (such as going through each other’s phones) you’re bound to find just that. I don’t touch my man’s phone and he does not touch mine.

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Are you past the point for couples counseling? If so, and /or he won’t go, you should go by yourself.
You never have to give up your boundaries though, and it seems he has disregarded them way too many times already. This is your life too, seeking happiness for yourself is important too. And your children, not knowing their ages, see your marriage as an example and sense all this. Most will follow into the same kind of paths. Best of luck with all these decisions, but make sure you focus on your happiness. As mothers, we focus on everyone else’s needs first, make it your time now. :blue_heart:

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Despite some of the comments pornography addiction is a real problem. A problem many men and women get help for. To dismiss the viewing of pornography as no big deal is to laugh at people who really struggled and lost everything because of it. One guy I knew lost his ability to get hard with his spouse. His wife left him and it was because pornography made him a very poor sexual partner and spouse​:woman_shrugging:t3::woman_shrugging:t3::woman_shrugging:t3::woman_shrugging:t3:

Pornography has led many men to believe women have to look a certian way and do certian things to be sexually appealing. I would seek a marriage councilor not facebook. Good luck

Porn is not cheating. You need some therapy. The both of you.

Sweetie no marriage stays the same as it first was, you get use to each other there’s love it just grows different the lust usually fades to just normal some men just like to look , just be glad that’s all he does a lot of them cheat. Nothing stays exciting for ever but you both can be loyal and grow together Iam sorry Iam just being realistic with age comes mostly companionship ( just cherish each other) no marriage is perfect it’s the fairytale we want.

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He is addicted run !

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Porn addiction is the same as any other addiction. You either:

  1. Get him help for his addiction if he’s willing

  2. Leave

Regardless of the decision, you have to learn to love yourself FIRST. You can’t properly love someone else if you don’t love yourself. Men seek these things out of curiosity typically and women seek out these things for the emotional part. It would be great to understand the difference between how men view them vs women’s views to help better understand. I know everyone has different boundaries (porn isn’t cheating to us), but maybe some marriage counseling would help too so this can be addressed and maybe new boundaries established or maybe you’ll realized afterwards, it wasn’t worth it. The ball is in your court but like with any addiction, I wouldn’t give up so quickly. I’m a fixer though, I try to help someone until I break my own heart. :heart: Keep in mind, you’re perfect in your own way. All those makes were earned for every breathe, every hiccup and every push :kissing_heart:

I stop reading when you said: He doesn’t makes me feel beautiful anymore! Which was a lot to read. The problem is not him, you already said you have insecurities issues? We as women needs to stop be codependent in others to makes us feel “happy”. You need to work on you. You said he is amazing man and he is not cheating. So at what level you are willing to compromise?
I watch porn and my partner doesn’t care and I don’t care if he does because we enjoyed ourselves together. By him looking at others woman’s clothing, is normal. We are humans and people gonna look regardless. If that man loves you, treats you right and always there for you, why instead of depending on him for your happiness, start working in you. Do you think the next man will gonna do any different? Meaning, you always going to find an excuse to feel insecure no matter what he does. (Not necessarily porn). Meditate, counseling and start distracting your mind from negativity.

He needs to talk to someone about his addiction and you need to talk to someone about your insecurities. Because both are unhealthy

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My husband is a PA so I know what you’re going through and feeling. Look into Dr Doug Weiss and his content. He’s a world renowned sex addiction therapist. Get yourself into therapy even if he doesn’t want to begin recovery. Even if you choose to leave. You have to heal from your betrayal trauma even if you leave because you’ll end up bleeding on the next person you’re with if you don’t. When it comes to porn addiction (not talking about regular casual viewing), do not listen to the ones who tell you to get over it. Porn addiction often times escalates into full blown sex addiction. Again, let me be clear. I am not talking about casual porn consumption. Porn addiction can’t be fixed with more sex. Porn addiction can’t be fixed with you trying to be a porn star. It can’t be fixed by you trying to love him more. The only person who can fix it, is him and that will take therapy with a CSAT, men’s SA or SAA groups, and a lot of work. He has to want to be in recovery. You need to do some research and begin forming boundaries and then holding them. Like I said, I am married to a PA. If I would have any advice for someone else who just started this journey my advice would be to freaking leave. It’s not worth it unless he’s willing to 100% do the work and repair the marriage. If he’s not, leave. And I am dead serious. OP, if you need someone to talk to or need help with any resources or anything- you are more than welcome to pm me.

You both should go to counseling, it’s worth a try!:heart:

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Sounds like you need to set boundaries with him. When we get upset it’s bc our boundaries are being violated. I’d suggest this book and do it together.

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I went through almost the exact same thing for 17.5 years! We’re going through a divorce now :pleading_face:
I advise to try to fix it now, before it even comes to this point.

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Girl he doesn’t care about you AT ALL. You’re really going to subject yourself to his nonsense? :face_with_raised_eyebrow: you have already spoken about it and he hasn’t changed. You’re not happy so drop that man and find somebody that does make you happy. If you’re choosing to stay knowing he isn’t changing and doesn’t care about you and your feelings (if he did he would have stopped when you first brought it up) , then you have nobody to blame but yourself

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If you are unhappy then the best thing to do is to get out now. I was married for 20 yrs and the last 5 or so was the worst. I had literally walked in on him in another woman fucking in her house (small favors). Put up with shit like that 5 yrs. and then decided it was time for me to go. It was unhealthy for me to keep trying to work our relationship when he wasn’t helping. It’s been 9 yrs and I am happy now. Don’t worry about his happiness at this point find your happiness. Because you are ENOUGH. You are more than enough.

I swear I thought someone wrote this about my marriage… I am dealing with the same thing been together 6 years and it’s hard I have tried everything I’m to the point of walking away he won’t even admit he has an addiction. :woman_shrugging:t3:

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I’m not gonna tell you to stay.

But I helped my husband beat addiction before we got married.

There’s 3 resources

Fight the new drug ( a science backed unchristian group that educates how terrible pornography really is over all. There’s a lot of people there that will help you and him both :heart:)

Covenant eyes basically takes away the secrecy and holds them accountable.

Exodus cry also is a educational place.

There’s also always rehabs cause addiction.

Pornography is know to cause issues like this and worse. However, there’s a root to every addiction. When was he introduced to pornography, how, was he raised to protect women or step on them?
There’s a lot of factors.

I suggest counseling or a therapist if you wanna save it cause it sounds like it’s been years of damage for both of you. Pornography rewires your brain to where eventually you can’t live with out it.

believe me it never ends! after 13 years of marriage i finally had enough!

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My opinion and I am older, much older than most of you.
I see it as HE is insecure, he looks at these " perfect women" on web sites so he can feel better about himself and to take away your confidence in yourself.
Now, an addiction is an addiction, whether it’s porn, drugs, alcohol, gambling or eating.
You aren’t responsible for his actions, your responsible for your reaction to his actions.
You are enough,

You are enough!!! Sadly there is nothing you can do. He has to do it. He has a severe addiction and needs help. It is not gonna change until HE gets the help HE needs. If you are very unhappy I would honestly separate for awhile until he gets the help he needs. It will take you out of a toxic situation for yourself. If he never gets help he made the choice for you. You deserve all the happiness in the world. Set the tone and see if he follows. If not then you have all the answers you need. Good luck momma!

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Most men like pornography. If you are petty enough to believe porn is cheating you prob wont ever be happy with a man. Maybe try a lady/g-friend next time. I know about this as i used to be petty/jealous about this ALOT. It was self esteem issue for ME. Im 43. Now im not saying im a regular porn watcher but i enjoy it myself sometimes now. Honey do what YOU CAN to boost ur self esteem. For me i did the KETO diet and lost some weight. Maybe you need something diff but you have to be happy with urself for ur own sanity. Also ive learned that looking at the women inspires me to take better care of myself. Just my scenario everyone is diff. I wish you the best

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My first two husband’s were addicted to porn. I’m glad I’ve moved on and my third husband doesn’t touch it 🤷

Yall both have issues. Until yall EACH resolve them, it’s going to be never-ending. You need to go to counseling and work on bettering you and he needs to go for his addiction and why he’s so obsessive with other women. I get appreciating another’s body but to where you get off to it every time? No.

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Sounds more like a you problem with confidence then a him problem … but based off your first sentence if your not happy then leave :100:
Most humans watch porn I’ve watched occasionally most of my adult life and can’t tell you what anyone looked like because I don’t gaf about them … its just visual stimulus.

Wow… some of those examples are just awful. Like watching porn is one thing. But looking at the girls and pictures of items you have bought? That is just absolutely disgusting to me. I am so sorry girly. Idk how to help you. I would say give counseling a try if you havent. It might be a good , last try to fix things. Good luck mama. I am sorry youre going through this. But never forget your worth and happiness :heart::heart:

I agree with Jessica… You are enough!!! There is help for porn addiction. But until he admits he has a problem which he can’t fix on his own… and is ready for counseling the problem won’t go away. I’ve had friends healed from this addiction that they had no control over and hated themselves for it. They finally found the therapy they needed to turn around and get over it. Praise Jesus!

My husband did the same thing … we have been together for 8 years ( married for 6 ) when I found out because he was hiding it from me I was extremely upset and hurt… I threaten to leave … that was 2 years ago, and to this day I still have trust issues with it but I haven’t caught him again so I want to believe he stopped like he said he would… I also learned things that he likes in bed witch also may have helped as welll … maybe talk to your husband about that as well

Honestly you need to get advice from a counselor. You will get so many different things said here. People saying things that get you all upset based off of only what you said. We (FB land do not know other parts of your life with him). I don’t agree with people saying he doesn’t care about you at all! They don’t know that. Yes, sounds like he has a problem with always looking at porn or so called “sexy photos” Remember You are enough but
Also, sounds like you could benefit from counseling for low self esteem concerns too. I have been told before, we can’t be happy with others if we aren’t happy with ourselves. It won’t hurt, it can only Help you feel better about yourself. That’s not a bad thing no matter how the end result is with him. You will feel more positive and strong about yourself to do what you feel is best.
I battle with it too and battle with what does my husband really think of me but I know I have to feel better about myself or I WILL always wonder what he thinks of me, no matter what his actions are.
So I suggest counseling for yourself and for both of you. If that is tried and things don’t get better for you and he is still into it that much then you will have to think about separation to see what that does?..
You will read these comments over and over more than likely crying when people are telling you to have him, he doesn’t love you, etc. It will just make you feel worse and bring more anxiety and Second guessing to your brain. Try to find a counselor and not 1,000 comments on here. Not saying it’s bad to get others opinions but you’ll get overwhelmed.
Best of luck.

If it’s not okay with you then you should definitely lay down the law, my man watches as well and the only time it bothers me is if he completely by passes me to go use his phone instead, luckily he’s not dont that in a long time and most the time I’m okay with him using his phone because I get a break :joy: his drive is way higher than mine and I can’t keep up :woozy_face:

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If it makes you uncomfortable it doesn’t matter what any person on here says about it. If it goes against what you feel is right for YOUR marriage than don’t settle for it. Everyone’s marriage has issues. Everyone likes and doesn’t like certain things. What one person has a problem with, another marriage may not. But it’s your marriage, not any of these people’s… alot of these people agree with swinging, porn, and all that, so don’t take their advice on your beliefs for what a marriage should be in your own perspective and eyes because nobody is wrong in what they want or accept. It’s just all in who you are as a person and what your opinion is. I would be upset about it too though, so I can side with you on it. It’s hard getting people to understand self confidence issues, and all of that when they don’t experience it themselves. It’s not YOUR fault that your husband can’t be satisfied with you. I’m sure you’re absolutely beautiful and it has nothing to do with you at all, and you can’t change how he feels as I’m sure he can’t either… but you can be happy with someone else or alone. Don’t live your life waiting for him to make you happy because he probably won’t. Go with your gut. Always. And don’t ever feel wrong for choosing to leave if that is what makes you happy. Good luck. :heart:

Your body image insecurities are your own to deal. The more you rely on a partner (or anyone else) to make you feel good about yourself, the worse you’ll feel. You feel uncomfortable about the porn and about yourself. You can not put that responsibility on him. That is yours to carry alone. No one else is responsible to keep you happy. No one. Talk to a therapist.

Someone out there will love you the way you need to be loved. Let that person first be you! Get your confidence back and love yourself. Everything else will fall into place.

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You both need therapy. His for addiction and you for self esteem. Also couple therapy.

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He needs therapy and you need time away from him to heal and build up your confidence and sense of security in self again. You are so worthy and beautiful no matter what you see in the mirror!

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Sounds a lot like my ex husband. He used to watch porn constantly, and never touch me. We had other issues as well, like him refusing to hold a job or take care of his children. He wouldn’t cook, clean, do laundry… but I made him aware of how him watching porn made me feel. He didn’t care. I tried for YEARS, I wasn’t shy about making it known how I felt and how he made me feel. He didn’t care. He continued to do what he was doing.

I agree with the comments that if you want things to change, you’re gonna have to change them yourself by leaving. But no one can force you to leave. You have to reach your limit and say enough is enough. Which is what I did. Now I’m married to a man that has eliminated all of my insecurities. I have no trust issues with him, I have no insecurities with him. He shows me the love, affection and attention that I needed. I promise you, there is a man out there that will love every single inch of you, inside and out, and you’ll never have to question it. But you’re not going to find that man if you continue to fight for a man who shows you daily that you mean nothing to him. Leave. Move on. Find your happiness, because I promise you it’s out there!

Couples counseling could benefit you guys if you both want to work on the relationship.

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I stil don’t understand why women have such a problem with men watching porn. It’s not real life. They are actors/ actresses getting paid to do it. Kind of like you getting mad at him watching a movie in my opinion.

My advice? Go on a diet , loose some weight and become secure about yourself. No one can do that but you! If you’re really not happy, it’s time to shape out.

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You need to talk to someone about your issues. Your self worth and self esteem WILL NOT come from someone else. You are looking to him to make you feel beautiful and the only thing that will do that is YOU. The porn thing is a little weird. I will never understand how someone could say that looking at porn is cheating. That’s just me. Instead of being so upset about him watching porn watch it with him. You might find your sex life to get exponentially better and his watching might actually decrease. Good luck though on working out your confidence issues. I’m telling you it seeking professional help will help you .

That was my ex husband and he always told me I was crazy. He was a narcissistic ass. And no matter what it never changed. If he hasn’t changed yet he probably never will. And how can you trust him when he says he will stop and then doesn’t. If you’re not in love and happy anymore then it may be time to leave. Don’t spend your time miserable, trust me it’s no good. :heart:

My hubby watches porn and it doesn’t bother me, he’s a truck driver so gone a lot so I get it. I think if he made you feel beautiful and confident, reassured I don’t think it would be an issue. But on the other hand he is watching constantly that’s an addiction. Therapy separately and together could help get everything out in the open, and you would have a fresh outlook from a third person’s perspective. I actually laugh at some of the porn my hubby watches such as anime; hard to get mad about a cartoon looking woman lol. We watch it together too, which can be exciting especially if you pick the movie to watch. If that’s just not you then don’t change for him. If he doesn’t make you feel the way you want and therapy doesn’t work then do what will make you happy. Good luck :four_leaf_clover:

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You need to leave, period. You have told him how you feel over and over, yet he still doesn’t respect you enough to honor your wish. You deserve better. It’s sad that it needs to end, but the fact is that it does. He has no respect for you, and his sick addiction means more to him. Move on and find someone who deserves you!

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I had an open mind about porn, but my now ex husband became addicted. When someone has an addiction, they soon need more of their “drug” to get their high. He started needing more kink, switched to gay porn (he started out with my Victoria’s Secret catalogs) which led to actual cheating with men. These days the online porn seems more dangerous-it often leads to “chatting” which obviously leads to physical cheating. I’m not sure what you can do except snoop around and see if he’s physically cheating. When someone’s an addict they don’t care who they hurt; all you can do is remove yourself. I’m very sorry this is happening to you.

Ive felt that way before about my self and confidence level. Porn I cant give you advice on. I will tell you what has worked for me, I started working out at 5am eating healthier choices, listening to Morning motivational videos. Doing my nails and hair, putting on lip stain even if its just to be at home, it all started boosting up my confidence. Im a stay at home mom of 3 kiddos so I would do my own eyebrows nails hair etc and workout in my living room. Focus on you not so much on him. Lets boost up that self confidence ,it starts with you and than move on to your relationship. Goodluck Momma!!!

I mean if he knows it hurts really bad and he keeps doing it over and over for six years I would’ve been gone. I know you love him but there’s no way I would be able to live with somebody like that with that kind of addiction

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What a whack job, there’s no way I would be with that bloke eek

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Watching porn Is not cheating :roll_eyes::roll_eyes::roll_eyes::roll_eyes::roll_eyes::roll_eyes::roll_eyes::roll_eyes::roll_eyes::roll_eyes::roll_eyes::roll_eyes::roll_eyes::roll_eyes::roll_eyes::roll_eyes::roll_eyes::roll_eyes::roll_eyes::roll_eyes::roll_eyes::roll_eyes:

Make a porn video and upload it to his phone …:man_shrugging:t5:

Start by working on you being good enough for you. Your guy should love you whether you are a size 2 or 22. You are perfect just the way you are

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Wow……that’s lowdown! You need to know and believe you are good enough maybe not in this relationship because it seems you can’t win in this so get yourself dressed and go out and watch how much attn you get!!! It’s not you

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Oh my gosh! I would have snapped honestly and left. That is so disrespectful in all aspects

You need to just leave. He will make promise after promise after promise that he will change but if he hasn’t already, he won’t for you now. He thinks you won’t leave him. You set that boundary in the beginning and he continues to break it therefore, it is up to you to walk away. He doesn’t care about you’re reasons and maybe he even blames you for him watching porn. The fact of the matter is, if he wanted to get help for this to stop for you, he would have done it already. 6 years is a long time to keep crossing a boundary. It is time for you to have enough self love to walk away. Now this doesn’t mean in the future, you won’t be brought back together. I fully believe that if two are meant to be together, they will be. But he is hurting you and breaking your spirit. This is abusive and if you don’t get out now and seek therapy for yourself, you will just continue to break down and eventually turn into an empty shell. Trust me. :broken_heart:

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