I think the kids are #1 but also keeping a clean space for them is important for their well being. It shows them structure. I was a divorced working mom of 4 children who have long since flew the coop. It was hard but they are all very good at their jobs and the run of their homes as I did. As far as your step mom name shaming. I would look her straight in the face and say, (calmly), I don’t like it when you say those things. Appreciate you not doing it in front of me again. Straight to the point. Should have your husband there when you say it so your ALL on the same page. Good luck 
also there’s the thing were if you hold off on the chores the mess gets bigger and bigger. Exhausting to catch up. Doing the cleaning as I went along and making sure the kids were settled and satisfied . Much easier on my brain and body 
Of course you should cook and clean and the fact that you asked that question tells me that you might need a little counseling
Uhhh, I’ll just say this. Cooking and cleaning are basic human skills. So idk about all this “woman’s job” nonsense. Also, you say that you actually put taking care of the kids first? That is a sign of a good mother. And the fact that your MIL is not only over looking this but cherry-picking about you not doing the dishes or not vacuuming and not doing this or that could be signs of a narcissist. She’s trying to find any fault in you to put you down and make you think that you are not good enough for her precious son. Do not let her get to you. She is trying to sabotage your marriage. What goes on in your household is you and your husband’s business. No one else’s.
We also raised differently i love taking care of my child and my surroundings I don’t find this so hard… its not slave its my responsibility my house and my children needs to be takin care of and you already should knew that in the first place… but its very different cultures soo 
Um sadly we are judged if it is but how you run your household is up to you i just would bar anyone that is so disrespectful
I’m in my 60’s and she is not old. She is just odd! She grew up during a time when women were learning we didn’t have to be second class citizens. Tell your husband to man up and tell his mother to Zip it!
I mean… yea that’s part of being a stay at home mom. The house and children are your job. Sure he can help out but you also have no excuse not to cook or clean while being home all day. Kids aren’t an excuse. Don’t teach them to live in a dirty house but it also doesn’t have to be spotless.
If a husband is a full-time provider for the house then yes. It is your responsibility to keep the house clean and cook. Having children is your responsibility too. Work and pay for a nanny 
I would hate if my mom blames me for her inability to clean and cook lmao
If you’re at home then a lot of the house work would be down to you but your husband should have some jobs he helps with as well, if not during the week because he’s been working then definitely on weekends. And he should help with the children. Ultimately how your relationship is divided is down to you and him though. Your mother in law had her marriage.
It’s a shared job tell that bitch to go f**k herself I help my partner all the time we do things as a team it’s quick and efficient no woman should have to do things for everyone else
Yes you can and should do all you can for a great man I never complained doing everthing I could do for him and my children I went to take a cosmology course he got upset and said who is going to do the housework cook clean fix dinner and sent our two boys to school I told him I am and I did then went to wk as a full time stylist for 20yrs. And still did everthing for us all I thank GOD FOR BEING WITH ME THRU IT ALL NOW RETIRE AND DO ALOTFOR MY GRANKIDS AND ALL OF US I LOVE IT THEY ARE MY FAMILY AND I WILL NEVER LET THEM DOWN
Old ideals that died out when I was a child in the 80s…in the UK now its a shared job, same as chores, kids and shopping.
If I relied on women to cook for me I’d have died a long time ago, most of my exs had no idea how to even make a pot noodle…
Please don’t listen to these men above me. It is 2021. If you don’t want to prioritize cleaning over your kids, DONT. Whether it be friends, family, strangers, etc. I can’t stand people sticking their noses in your lifestyle. If your husband has no complaints then just ignore her.
I think ya oughta just let the mamaw think how she thinks. As long as your man isn’t trying to incorporate her beliefs into your family. Older ppl were raised to believe certain things and some ppl have a hard time realizing that time marches on, obviously without them.
No, this is a modern world. My partner does most of the cooking and cleaning whilst working from home. I have 2 jobs on top of looking after our son. Doesn’t make him any less of a man, nor does it make me any less of a woman.
Yes. It’s everyone’s job. It’s about teamwork. Everyone should be taking turns cooking and the cleaning should be shared between family members.
If a woman is not working but her husband is, I totally agree with the mil.
There is plenty to do between the two of you. Try switching it up. Do some house work while hes away and let the kids help. But when he gets home he can step up and either deal with the kids or cook.
Is this the 60’s again? Watching children is a full time job. There are some days that I’m able to clean around the house, but it’s one or two chores a day and not the whole house. After you clean it, it’s dirty again by the next day anyway. My fiancé always thanks me for what I’ve accomplished and if it was a bad day and I couldn’t then he thanks me anyway for being there for my daughter. And it sounds like the MIL should shut her mouth because it’s NOT her place to butt in. It’s not a “woman’s job” to clean the house. Share responsibility. Or tell him to start dishing out the hundreds of dollars a week for daycare so you can either work or help around the house. If he doesn’t like the sound of that then maybe he should consider having a word with his mother.
No the home belongs to both no matter who works or who doesn’t,it’s not just the woman’s job.
100% NOT! Thats not how things work these days x
There is a reason there are only mother-in-law jokes and no father-in-law jokes. Remember that.
Some of these women in these comments never had to cook or clean a day in their lives and it really shows.
I’m a stay at home mom, my husband works 60+hrs a week. The least I can do is pick up the house we share together. Relationship are suppose to be 50/50 right?
If you are home all day and don’t sit around eating bon bons and watching TV, you can do it all. That IS your job.
If you, as a mother are working, you’re not a maid. If you’re only job is to be with your kids as a stay at home mommy, you should be cleaning shut up.
Kids gonna tear up the house all day just clean it when they go to bed.
But yeah it’s nice to have dinner ready when you get home from work.
Yes it is. Just as much as it is a man’s job. Clean your fucking shit people. Quit bitching about who needs to do it and do it.
Are you married to him or her?
It was in my lifetime, but sometimes hubby helped and I helped him outside some too.
Don’t listen to these men in the comments below. It’s 2021 honey he can cook & clean too!
Your job is too take care of the children not the dishes
Tell her to mind her own bees wax!!
Mother-in-law is a jerk.
Your MIL needs to stay out of your marriage
My mom used to say, loudly, “YOU LIVE HERE, YOU HELP KEEP IT CLEAN!”.
Hahha I don’t think you want me to tell ya what to say to her 
SAHM means stay at home MOM, not stay at home maid.
She doesn’t run your household. What did you and your spouse agree on?
I’m not even gonna get fancy with this.
Everyone loves Raymond
Well said Stephanie.
My husband does our cooking, cleaning, laundry and grocery shopping. 
I do the cooking in my home simply because mine likes to cook everything on high and ruins all the pots and pans but we both do the cleaning
Shes in her 60s.
Ive a aunt whos in her 60s. My aunty is out every weekend, dancing the night away. She is glamerous, fun and lively.
She tells me stories of he rgrowing up through the hippy age and free love etc. She is progressive and forward thinking.
60 isnt old, MIL… she was around during the womens fight to have equal pay etc.
Shes just ignorant and has patriarchal views.
You and your husband keep doing whats best for your family and sod what the MIL thinks.
If she was my nans age of 89 then yeah…id get it. But 60s she should have lived through the 60s an 70s an seen the change in society.
It can be 50-50 housework
Just throw haymakers
You feel lucky PUNK?
All of these posts seem fake. Just made up controversial stories to get likes and comments and shares.
Omg how lazy are you?
You’re doing a great job.
Tell your MIL TO TAKE HER HEAD OUT OF HER BUTT. Parenting taking care of the kids and the house falls on both parents.Seems like your MIL IS STUCK IN THE 50S &60S. aLSO YOUR HUSBAND NEEDS TO GROW A SET AND SPEAK TO HER THE WAY SHE TALKS ABOUT YOU.
You are too good for that woman
Tell Marie Barone to butt the fuck out!
Yes, you are nothing but a slave and must do everything your man tells you to do.
Nope. Your job is being a mom. 
her and he’s a coward! Your husband should tell her to stop. You’re not married to her. That she needs to not make comments or stay away. I see no reason for one parent to cook, clean, laundry whatever. One person to care for the kids and manchild at that point. Don’t be that person. You deserve better. Or get divorced, alimony, child and support
Umm 
fuck her! Whatever it is you’re doing, you’re doing a great job!!
Would it be a stay at home dads job?
(The answer is yes btw)
Your mother in law is a twat
No. He should contribute!
Yeah, she’s right…for 1952.
Tell her mind own business
If you aren’t working and are a joke maker, you should be doing those things as part of your job. If you were both working, then that’s different.
I actually follow a 1950 house cleaning to-do list and I love it!
Fuck that woman. This isn’t the 50s. He is a grown ass man. He can cook and clean along side with you.
Fuck that old bitch…ur not married to her…shit put ur foot down n tell her to fuk off…
Nosey old cow needs to keep her nose out of your business.
Men who think it’s the women job are fucking lazy asshole with no respect for the women they claim to love. I am no ones slave
Of course she’s right
It don’t hurt him to help out if he is making a mess, do u tell him to make that mess? I do believe if ur home all day with these kids that u can do ur part doing house work bwellut it don’t hurt for kids to help out as well they have to léarn to,just remember ur not his mother either ur his wife ,u are in this together so help each other out!!
If you have boys then you should know that you may never be good enough for him in her eyes. But she should also keep her trap shut. If you make your husband happy and the kids are happy and well cared for then there’s nothing to worry about anyway.
A LOT of guys seem to have issues telling their mothers to stay in their lane, sometimes ya have to suvk it up and do it for them. Its not her marriage or her house to worry about.
I wouldn’t say its a woman’s job to cook and clean but me personally feel like if my partner is working full time earning the money for us to live and I’m the one staying at home its my job to look after the family, house and meals however on the weekends these things are shared. Thats just my opinion but in saying that your MIL shouldn’t be saying these things, that’s between you and your husband to sort out not anyone else and she shouldn’t be making you feel bad
I am a stay at home mom and I absolutely take care of the majority of the house work!! In reading these comments I think a bigger issue is respect, time management. I had 3 kids and it was not hard juggling my house work in between entertaining, teaching and taking care of my children! 3 kids all of which excelled in school with honors and more. If you tend to your house regularly it takes no more than an hour or 2 a day to completely daily household chores, my husband come home to a hot meal read when he hits the door most nights!! He works a very demanding manual labor job and the last thing I want is him not to be able to relax when he gets home! On his days off he takes care of all the repairs and yard work etc. He respects me enough to walk through the door after a 12 hour day and attempt to help me and I respect him enough to not let him so he can relax and enjoy quality time with his kids which is something I am not seeing anyone talk about. I see people say they are our kids our house he should share in the chores which if my husband came home to a dirty house he would spoil me knowing I had a bad day and would never expect anything out of me! I honestly think that the women that are saying it should be fair or 50/50 do not actually put in any thought as to what 50/50 is. My husband works 12 hours a day with 2 15 min breaks and 1 30 min lunch. No one single SAHM is putting in those kind of hours with the punch of a time clock. I get that a mom is a 24/7 job but so is a dad! I also worked for 4 years before choosing to stay at home and I was working longer hours than my husband. He at that time had my dinner ready, kids bathed etc after he got of off work because he made it home a few hours before me. Find respect for each other and you will find a routine that works!! I do agree with the Mother in law needing to butt out though!! And the husband should speak up where her comments are concerned
I’m not that guy, but if your a stay at home mom and he works and pays the Bill’s by all means you have time to clean and enjoy the children. He can help . But you should be taking care of the majority of the house super and dishes . He again could help .
It’s called a partnership, each relationship to its own but in all honesty do you and just avoid your mother in-law like the rest of us does 
Cleaning is part of being home and watching kids. Spotless house not necessary. But keep clean and picked up. Wash clothes and put into drawers. Your husband can help once home. Bonding with your babies important but keeping a nice home is too.
Well if you don’t work and he does and your a stay at home mom then you are to cook and clean and maintain the home.
Make a list of all the chores you do, including .cleanig, nurse, chef, budget advisor, child care, shopping, etc etc.
Find out how much to hire each of those things…and then present your mother in law with an invoice to give her son at the end of each week. She may change her time…or not.
Restart you career and leave her to care for her grandchildren. Only two suggestions. I’m sure there are others:joy:. Silly lady:rage:
Get off your ass and clean the house…your not playing all day…if you want to help yourself so your not overwhelmed, teach your kids to pick up after themselves.
I’m 67, hubs is 81, so we’re talking about "back in the day."
I was a SAHM until the kids went to school. My husband ALWAYS helped with the house, the kids, the “family” stuff, depending on his work schedule.
If it works for your family, MIL should just be happy for you both.
MIL being in her 60s is no excuse for being rude. We are inlaws to 5 people, and are just happy that our kids (and grands) are happy.
I have 3 daughters, my husband works two jobs. I make sure the house is clean and dinners made. My daughters do help me as they love seeing their dad come me home to a nice and tidy house. There’s some nights I don’t feel like cooking so I order out and put on plates he doesn’t notice. but it’s nice after a hard day to come home to a clean house and dinner made.
My husband works all day & we have 3 kids & im home with them bc one has severe special needs. I usually have the housework done by the time he comes home. I try to but some days it’s just not. If it’s been a hard day with your kids, some things may take a back burner, but they can always be done the next morning. Just do your best & that’s all anyone can do 
Plus it’s really none of her business
I play with my kids, teach them, read to them then I tell them mommy has to do some stuff around the house for a minute. They play alone for a bit or during nap times. Yes my kids are first and dishes wait but all “my wifely duties” are pretty much done everyday. Some days the mopping doesnt get done or the dryer is full til tomorrow but my house and kids are taken care of and dinner is cooked. He works hard for me to stay home with our babies I work hard to keep the house something he wants to come home too. Dont worry about what mother in law says if you and husband and kids are happy that’s all that matters.
If you are at home with the kids most days your husband should come home to a clean house … He is working outside the home and you are working inside the home … Do your housework while the children are napping … and if they don’t nap make a game out of cleaning up …
This is such an outdated view. You’re supposed to be a team and should be helping each other with the chores.
If your man works it’s your job to take care of the kids and clean the house if your a stay at home mom that’s just me though if y’all both work though it’s 50/50
My philosophy is that PEOPLE who live in houses bed to do housework. Everyone that lives in the home needs to take part. That includes children that are able and men/husbands. House work isn’t women’s work. It’s human work.
Old world misogynistic bullshit ideology my dad works as a truck driver over nights still comes home and helps out. That’s just a manipulation method your kids come before any dumb ass m4n and you can’t change my mind!
I read the first sentence only. Its never ever a womans job to cook and clean. Its everyone’s and they are basic life skills everyone should learn. Doesn’t matter who works n who does this or that. Take it in turns or do it together.
Yesss and no lol. If he works all day outside the house then yes I think u should do most of the cleaning everyday. That doesn’t mean he can’t help out here and there.
I think as a stay at home mom, yes you care for the kids all day and meet their needs, but at least picking up. Not deep cleaning, doesn’t have to be spotless, but it should be picked up daily.
Yes you should do all the house work if he works. Have your kids clean with you. What’s wrong with this world. Can you not be with your kids and take care of the house work. Damn, I cook, clean, do laundry,run my kids to baseball,soccer, CC, go to all school events, have bees, a dog, fish and a bird and chickens. I also garden. What in the hell are you doing all day?? Get your ass up and clean your house. Damn!
I dont cook, he does cause he knows and so does the rest of the house he is better. Even after a long day. We both work and both together do it all as a team. When he falls I pick it up when I fall he picks it up.
You should do what makes you happy in YOUR family. What allows YOUR house to thrive. It is absolutely no ones business what happens in YOUR home. You and your partner figure that out, no one gets to dictate it to you.
I’ll ask her if she’s free to do it herself and i will pay her that way everything gets done and she can’t say anything she’s even making something from it:joy: but that’s just me maybe she will shut up then
He the hell out of my !y house
I cook and clean and take care of the kids and house together hubs wrks all day its my job at hom3 fr him come home clean house and hot meal
Your husband should help, but if he comes home everyday to a sink full of dishes and the house just completely gross cuz you’ve been “playing” all day then come on. 
just say “I’m lazy” I have 9 kids and I still clean an cook and play with my younger children(my oldest are to cool for me) kids are work but so is work. maybe a chore chart.
If your staying home with your children. It is absolutely your responsibility to cook and clean and tend to the children. When Dad comes home, he should help more with kids to give you a break from the kids. On weekends, share responsibility. That’s not old school, that’s logical split of responsibilities.
Why are so many living with the MIL if he cant provide without living with his mother then he needs to stay there