If you are a stay at home mom YES ITS YOUR JOB. He is out supporting you and your kids with his job… Its your job to take care of the house… Yes its hard being a sahm… But its the life we chose … I been a sahm for damn near 21 years and 2 of my 3 kids are special needs… It can and should be done… Do the job you chose… Period
My husband is gone out of town the brunt falls upon my shoulders. When he is home he takes care of all the chores so I can rest bc we are equal. If he was home we would divide and conquer. We are a team. We know that kids are little for such a short time. We both play we both cook and clean. We wanted this life so we work for it together. It’s a partnership not a dictatorship.
If he works all day and you stay home… absolutely yes it is all on you. Why should he work to pay the bills and come home and clean?
Here’s my thing…do u go to his job and help him when he gets overwhelmed…no probably not he has to figure that shit out and how to get it done in a timely manner …so why do u think he should come home after a full day of work supporting his family to help u with ur job??? I dont stay home to clean do dishes laundry and clean flipping floors I stay home to be there for my kids buuuut all the other stuff comes with the job …I sincerely doubt ur husband likes all his duties at his job. U should feel honored and lucky ur husband can provided enough to allow u to be home with ur kids it is not common anymore and it is a luxury it should be treated as such be grateful!
If your a stay at home mom.
It’s part of your duties to cook and clean.
IMO anyways
First of all
You shouldn’t be trying to please your MIL.
However,she is his mother,so respecting her and her opinion ( not her judgements) is a big deal,maybe thats why he isn’t saying anything to her.
I mean she did raise him to those standards.
As for your husband,if he is working all day supporting his family,then he should in fact be able to come home to a clean ( at least organized home).
Dinner especially.
As for you cleaning all day,no you shouldn’t have to wear yourself out cleaning all day but, dishes and vacuuming doesn’t take all day.
Nurturing and taking care of children ( being a mother) is a huge thing but, that doesn’t mean you need to neglect being a wife,backbone of family.
Any relationship takes 100/100 not 50/50 but be willing to give 110%.
Seems he is doing his share already.
I just don’t understand this younger generation thinking it can’t be done where as women have been doing it for many years and been successful at it.
Of course you could always think about it this way, what are you teaching your children if you don’t do your part?
Children need balance.
That involves many different areas,not just play time.
Responsibility, structured home life,
I could go on but, prolly already gonna get backlash for what I already said.
Sure different lifestyles play a part in each home but, you are suppose to be a team.
Sorry I don’t mean to sound rude,i just have a blunt honest mind set.
this is too funny, My son is 48 & he taught himself how to cook, They had chores (him & his older sister) Oh & I am 68 & I am set in my ‘ways’ & I want all of my senior citizen discounts So I guess that makes me entitled Before you married your husband & before the kids, I am sure & hoped you both talked about this,And if not, sit your husband down & talk to him & ask for his help if needed, Have you every asked him to help you out before???
No way. Time with kids is more important than “perfect house”.
It doesn’t matter what you’re MIL thinks. It is not her marriage. She needs to butt out. I can say this. I’m a MIL. That being said…does your husband pitch in? At least a little? I’ve been a SAH mom. We’re just as busy as the mothers that work. Its simply a different kind of busy. But I do believe that if you are both working full time…the husband needs to pitch in and help. If you are home…then obviously…you are going to more house work because you’re there. But taking care of the children is a lot of work too. Some people don’t realize that. It is often unappreciated too. I applaud you!
I just started staying at home. I don’t think its anyone’s “job” to cook and clean. If you are home all day then its only fair in my opinion. I don’t think he shouldn’t have to do anything when he gets home. He should take the kids for a bit give you a break. My SO gets home around 530-6. So he takes our 2yo while i cook. Its easier that way. I do not expect him to come home and cook bc he worked all day while I was home. He was in the heat (I live in GA so it gets super hot and he works outside) while I enjoyed AC all day. He has never once told me it was my job to cook or clean but i feel like if im at home then I should do it. He does help me when I ask. Now he wont do the dishes. But he was very upfront about that when we started dating
My view is its all the families job. I sah but he will still help a little around the house on his days off. I put my kids first but I have 4 and one is autistic, I have lots of therapy appts, plus the other kids activities and we prioritize fun. He would rather help a little so the kids can swim all day long then keep them cooped up in the house while I clean so he doesn’t have to do anything when he’s not working. It’s what works for you 2 though she needs to keep her nose outta your business
Shit, I’m in my 60’s and I think that’s nonsense. Some people can do it all and others can’t. I couldn’t. Good for you for putting your kids before the dust bunnies. They’ll remember fondly the fun you had with them more than what the house looked like.
As a stay at home mom this is my job while my husband provides for us. He works hard everyday to keep a roof over our heads. We have 4 children together, I can’t remember the last time he did dishes… it’s my job. It’s 50/50 for the most part, when he’s away it’s 80/20 because I have to pick up the yard work and stuff to. So yes, if you are staying home with your children, she is right. Do your chores at night when they go to bed and you won’t have so much to do the next day and you’ll be able to spend that time with them.
A SAHM’s job is to care for the kids. Anything else is extra, as responsible adults we tend to do extra because I’d it doesn’t get done while we’re “at work” it’ll still have to get done later. But I also like cleaning and it gives me a break from the kids lol. Taking care of and playing with kids should be the priority.
You’re a stay at home mom. Not the maid. You can only do so much in the time that you are home. When it’s you and the kids, it’s absolutely more important to spend that time with them, if they are little this time is all about teaching them through play.
General cleaning is still your responsibility as a stay at home parent, but not your primary focus. It’s also not your job to wait on him hand and foot. He can put his own dishes in the sink, pick up after himself, what have you.
The only chores you should keep up with while your husband works and you’re home with the kids is things like dishes and laundry (only because you need them that can’t really wait) but he can help with everything else when he’s home it’s a partnership. Yeah, you have a little more time for housework than him, but it’s his house too and the kids come first.
50 / 50 or atleaat it is between me and partner whether he’s at work or not x
If a woman wants to be a homemaker and not go to work every gruelling day like the husband then stay home and be a homemaker…but no woman should use the kids as an excuse for her laziness…she should clean the house ,make sure supper is ready when the husband gets home…if the wife cant perform those simple duties then she would be useless in the workplace.
Some of us never got the luxury to stay at home and care for our children. We work and do all the other stuff as well. If you stay at home you should be cooking and cleaning in my opinion. Obviously the kids come first, but straightening the house and cooking occasional meals shouldn’t be too big of an ask. Depending on the age of the kids get them involved, make it fun. Let them help cook and clean. Those are life skills they will need and I so wish I could have done with mine.
Honestly it depends on how demanding your kids are. My son was severe adhd. Just taking care of him was a full time job. No joke. My daughter was extremely well behaved and I was able to be more of a Mary Poppins with her . Your husband should help but you should do most of it. But do the best you can. If you’re really struggling with it like I did with my son, get your big mouth mother in law there to help you instead of judge you. She can help you and show you
Um no he’s a big boy he lives there to. Yes if your a stay at home mom then the house should be reasonably clean and depending on what time he gets home dinner. But life is messy if dinner isn’t ready because the kids aren’t feeling well or because it’s been one of this days there is no reason he can’t help you. He can take out the trash help with bath and bed. It’s a team effort. Not one person needs to do everything. Yes he works but at the same time your job is mentally and physically exhausting as well. Stay at home mom here. I said what I said.
Ihave agood husband he help me whn im not feelings good if he come home and the house is not in order he never complain Ibelieve it is our place to fo all things but i also believe ii k when the husband help if you got children put them to do their chores that would help you out and ialso believe it no one business it between you and your spouse you didnt marry no one else but him so Be Bless
His job is outwith the home. Your job is in the home. He provides the cash to run the home . You run it. …fairly simple I would have thought but then I’m old and set in my ways …smh
No. If she raised him right. He could also help with house chores. My bf and I clean together on our days off. He does the trash. Cleaning up the car litter. And sweeps. I put laundry away. (or sometimes both of us). Wash the dishes. And Clean the bathroom. And then mop the floors.
In your vows you promised to love, honor and cherish. Everything else is a negotiation. Its none of your MIL’s business. Work on setting appropriate boundaries with a counselor.
Myself I’m 48, had 3 boys, in there 20s now but 1st son when I was 22yrs old, I was taught how to keep a house n clean from my grandma n mother since little n take care of things if you (the mother or just gf) stayed home n husband or bf worked all day, I was able with 3 boys to keep house, laundry, pool clean n kitchen, make dinner n bake by myself n watch my boys at say 5,3,1yrs n make time to play with them n they play by themselves or together or outside, or if they take naps do something then, I did, in fact all my relatives did it this way, the kids even had sports I did by self sometimes, when your at home all day that is part of what needs to be done by you, I think there are to many lazy mommas these days, im glad my daughter n law n son’s gf’s aren’t lazy just because of kids because they know I will say something, my opinion I had my husband help when he wanted to but usually always did the sports without asking, n the lawn stuff like that, but when he’s outside working thru summer n winter 8 n 10 hrs day 5 n 6 days a week, then I believe on my part I should have everything else taken care of since he’s taking care of us n household, but again way I was raised but doing same with in our family still
She grew up
When that was more normal
Possibly or role
Modeled
By her own mom . Times have changed . You work too ! So , you and your husband should work as a TEAM and split the duties . When I was a SAHM, I did most all because I was home and had time ! When I worked , I did not have time or energy . Do not feel one bit bad ! You are doing a wonderful job!
I worked from home had 3 kids and house was always clean and supper on the table. Routine helps. If you are home all day these simple tasks can be done
Mils do not run your house. Just ignore it
There are no "shouldest. Whatever works for you and your husband and children. That said as a stay at home its your job to train your children to be contributing members of the family and clean up after themselves and help out where needed.
If he works and you don’t, and you. Don’t do the housework, is he supposed to do it? Someone has to do it. If he’s doing the housework when is he supposed to play with the kids? If you both work it should be divided and the kids should be helping no matter what. They need chores and so do you. You think playing with the kids is your job? How old are you, 10? You are their mom not their playmate. Their grandmothers and grandfathers are their playmates!!!
OMG!! Reading all the comments on here is wild. All these women who still have the mind set of a 50s stepford wife. SMH, lol.
One, you never told us how many kids you have and what ages. Do they have any special needs.
Secondly, its your house and your life. If anyone doesn’t like it, they can kindly screw off. As long as your kids are taken care of, they are fed, who cares if your house is a little messy.
And a pointer, your kitchen will never be clean. Trust me, i clean my kitchen constantly. But there always seems to be dishes galor, crumbs galor, spilled items, dirty floors.
And another tip, if you know people are coming over, clean beforehand, so they dont have nothing to complain about.
Just live your life the way you want and be happy.
So I’m a stay at home mom and my husband works. On the days he works it’s my job to keep the house clean, because it’s not really fair to expect him to do even more when I’m the one that’s home all day. Now if he has a short day, or the weekends thats when he’ll help out more. Otherwise, it’s my job.
We all have our days and depending on the age. Kids take a lot of time. I feel really shitty when I don’t have the dishes and supper done though. If I’m home, its kinda my job
I wish I was as perfect as all you other moms out there
my husband and I are a team. We pick up eachothers slack. Even with him working 12-15 hours day and even with me taking care of 2 kids 24/7. We take care of eachother.
We are pretty much 50/50 when he’s not at work he dose the laundry and I do the dishes I cook and tidy and he gives the kids a bath and gets them ready for bed
If you’re at home then you should be taking care of most of the house work REGARDLESS OF GENDER (it would be the same if he was at home and you worked). Im a stahm and I do 90% of the housework while caring for my almost 2 year old. I get him involved and he helps clean and what not. My hubby works but he comes home and helps with what he can if I ask.
When I worked from home yes, but now we work on totally different days and the days I work he keeps the house clean and other days when I’m off and he works I do everything around the house
If you’re a stay at home mom yea… no reason your husband should work all day then come home n work some more. Most I’d expect from his is dinner every now n then n help with the kids. The rest should be ur part
Um, I am in my 60’s–age has nothing to do with this problem! How you divide household work and child care is you and your husband’s decision which should be balanced–not your MIL’s business. Your husband needs to put you ahead of his mother(or anyone else)
Nah his house , kids , and responsibilities it’s a team n group effort. Housework , n raising kids is work also get it housework. They all live together everyone’s share
She’s his mom not yours. Don’t listen to her but don’t have to disrespect her either. YOU KEEP A HOME CLEAN FOR YOUR FAMILY ,NOT JUST YOUR MAN.FOR YOURSELF ALSO. that changed my perspective on cleaning …how old are the kids. Make them help you.
Ew I hate her why are you even listening to her garbage? Tell her to eat shit
While I was furloughed, I would clean the house, it wasn’t spotless, but it was neat. Dishes done, laundry done, and dinner on the stove but there was still some clutter around. I made sure the kids paid attention to their classes (remote learning) and did their homework with them. But on the weekends my husband handled most of the house stuff, cooking, cleaning etc and let me enjoy “me” time. There’s a balance that you need to find.
I think if u r a stay at home mom, the household work should be done by you. If u both work, it should be shared. Even though my husband was retired and I worked a physically demanding job, I still had to cook, clean, do dishes and laundry. I also helped with mowing lawn, baling hay, helped do chores and lots of other outside work.
Sorry,but not sorry, I raised 3 kids (all born in the 60’s ) and I always kept a very clean house for all of us. I had hardwood floors in the early years and it was sparkling clean and waxed(yes we used to have to mope and wax floors. and dust and cook and wash and dry and iron clothes. No one expected or ordered me to do it. I was raised doing it. And My children were and are the most calm, well adjusted people in there senior years. And I am proud knowing I did that.
No, he’s a grown man, he can clean up after himself. When he’s not at work split chores up. As a stay at home parent you’re a homemaker, and cleaning up is a part of the job but not the only part of it.
If you are able to stay at home while he is working, it’s only fair that he should be able to come home to a clean house. Don’t make him come home to a dirty house while he’s busy busting his ass to provide for your family.
I do the housework cause I like it done a certain way. Also my husband has a very physically demanding job so I do most of it butttt he will 100% help when I get overwhelmed or need a break. Its honestly what works best for you guys and everyone else can mind they business.
Clean your house!!! Little messes don’t matter more than the kids but dishes and vacuuming? Come on If you are at home and he works then yes it’s definitely your job. With that being said if you have to do the “woman” jobs he should do the “man” jobs…yard work, repairs, taking out the garbage ect. The fact that you guys didn’t discuss this before having children is mind blowing to me
People please don’t be harsh to this woman!
Taking care of kids is a job in itself …. I mean if your all moms you’d know this or atleast understand it. What if their child was one like mine? ( oldest is a clean freak middle is a whining cry baby that deliberately makes messes my baby girl is well she tries to get into everything and it constantly a rug rat that never stops )
You gotta know how the children are in the situation before you come up and say stuff like yes! You are the one responsible! Like a man works but even a stay at home mom works too!
And before any of you say anything! I’m a single mom that has to work, cook, clean , pay for daycare on my own, take care of the kids on my own, and play with them! It’s exhausting so I know both sides of the situation!
Being with your kids is much more important in my opinion than having a spotless house… your husband could live with his mom if a clean house is what is most important to him.
Your mother in law would hate me…
Is your husband complaining or just his obnoxious mother ?
Uh if you stay home all day yes, clean the damn house. I say this as a stay at home mother of 2 young children. My husband almost never comes home to a dirty house. He busts his ass to make sure you can be home with the kids, the least you could do is give your family a clean home.
“Set in her ways” can take a long walk off a cliff. This ain’t the 70s.
If you’re home then yeah.
I cook and clean and take of my children, I also work nights part time. My husband works days. It works for us as exhausting as it is everyone’s happy
Mother in law needs to shut her yap. The end!!
Not a job per say… more like common curtousey… Your mans our working hard to provide $$$ for the household, the least you could do is let him come home to a tidy home, we all have our off days here and there and thats absolutely fine, but for the most part, you can manage household chores and still play with the kids … its all about routine, get the kids to help you out and get involved too… teach them “lets surprise dad with a nice clean house when he gets home” … as for your MIL, how would she know what your house is like? She needs to A ) mind her business and B ) maybe not be allowed to come over if all shes going to do is criticise you and your home and make you feel like crap. As long as you’re trying your best, thats all that matters
That is the way I was raised. To keep a man happy and to be faithful you have to make sure he comes home to a clean house and to a home cook meal. Plus take care of the kids. I work and do all that for my family and I also take care of my nieces and nephews in the summer.
Make a job chart so it’s even. Kids all in itself is a full time job especially depending on how cooperative the kids are. Offer your mother in law to pull up the laundry and help out if she’s worried tell her you can include her on the job chart or she can keep her opinions to herself and though you love her you’re not going to enjoy inviting her around as much if she can’t be respectful and non judgemental on how you run your family.
Tell your MIL if it bothers her so bad then she can do it while your making memories with your Littles that they will remember for the rest of their lives. The kids are more important than a load of dishes or a clean floor. Don’t miss the chance to make those memories, you can clean later
If he works and you do not then yes I think its your job.
It shouldnt matter what anybody thinks you are a good mom an wife. You know mothers feel were not good for thier sons but at the end of the day your not asking for shit from anybody your awsome never forget that
If you don’t work, it’s your job to work in the home until he gets home. At that point, you guys should share responsibilities. That doesn’t mean leaving the chores all day, and expecting your husband to do them when he gets home though. I’m off work for 3.5 more weeks, home with 3 kids (2 are messy teens), so I know its rough. It’s harder than having a regular job.
However, I don’t think you should be worrying about what anyone, including your mother in law, thinks. It’s not her life or her business. I’d tell her that you appreciated her opinion, but it’s not requested or needed.
Nah… I didn’t. If dinner wasn’t made or the dishes done oh well. Never said a word to me about it. But my house was clean the kids came first that’s all because when he came home he wasn’t doing anything with them so I could clean or make dinner sooooo. Bug off!!
Tell you MIL if it bothers her that much, she can vacuum and do the dishes. As long as your husband isn’t complaining to you about the state of the house, you’re good. And even then, he can help out too.
I think it depends on the age of the kids, I’ve got a 3 month old and almost 2 year old. I’m home alone with them normally 5 days a week from 6-430, my hubby doesn’t expect me to have the house spotless when he get home. I hate a mess tho, so while the kids are sleeping ill vacuum and do up dished aswell as laundry. I hate cooking tho so I’ll pull stuff out but he cooks
During the day while hubby was at work I took care of the kids and cleaned, as that’s my job and dinner was usually made or started before he got home from work. Dinner dishes and after dinner was shared responsibility between the parents. Laundry putting, bathing, playing, the kids to bed, cleaning up the kitchen afterwards. Once the kids were old enough they helped clean the kitchen and do laundry as well.
If I worked all day which at times I did and he stayed home with the kids I did expect to come home to a moderately clean home and dinner to be started or finished and then shared the responsibilities of the home and parenting after I got home from work. I did not expect to come home and have to do all the cleaning etc certainly didn’t mind doing some.
Its his house as well so he can do some cleaning around the house as well honestly so sick of old fashioned people saying crap like that its 2021!!
Mommy you only have so many years left of that playing and making such memories before those little ones become teenagers.
Talk to your husband, let him know how you are feeling, if he doesn’t have issues then go on with your like just as you have been doing.
Ignore your mother in law.
We all have our disagreements with them but getting upset about it wont help you.
5 or 10 years down the line, you will be handing out chores to your kids and you will always have a spotless home.
As long as the kids for now are happy, fed and loved, the rest doesn’t matter
We don’t talk to my mil in law anymore she was shit to our kids and always competed for my husbands attention and if me and her ever got into an argument she went running to him lying and saying I started it and was so mean to her. Lmao do you boo don’t listen to her. It’s not her home, it’s not her kids so screw it. I have 4 boys and a husky my house is never spotless and half the time grilled cheese is dinner. As long as you and your family is happy that’s all that matters.
I did all of that I took care of my kids then I took care of my grandkids and then my great-grandkids so my kids could work I never did work my home my kids and my husband came first and now I’m taking care of myself
Tbh yes you should be cleaning I have 5 young kids & always make sure they are taken care of on top of cleaning he’s out providing for the family so I see why she would be upset with you BUT she didn’t have too say it the way she did
He knew you didn’t do that before you got married, if he doesn’t say anything his mom can fuck off.
If you are a stay at home mom and do not work I get it interacting with your kids but yes you still need to clean house and do dishes is it only your job to to interact with kids and do the house chores no if you worked he needs to help also but he does need to mow the grass and do the weed eating wash the cars .
If you do not work you should be keeping a decent house I mean yes kids first but kids also need the house decent teach them clean their own rooms and help out… hubby should have to pitch in kids sports he needs play time with them and one day a week should be your day off just like he gets day off
If you are a stay-at-home Mom then yes you should also be doing some housework. You are not on the clock or have a bossman or woman looking over your shoulder like he probably does…Your time is flexible…But no man should work all day and then be expected to do all the housework…
You know it’s your home and life. Your kiddos won’t be small for long. You need to enjoy them❤. When you have kids, there is bound to be clutter and cleaning things to do. I’m sure your house is not filthy. As long as hubby is not complaining I wouldn’t worry. Or, of your mil isn’t happy with the way you do things maybe she could give you a helping hand😁. Good luck.
I’m all about teamwork. My hubby works long hours all week so I do everything during the week we have 4 kids. I keep to a tight cleaning schedule so that it’s not overwhelming and I always make sure I have a good supper for my kids and him every night (meal planing helps a lot) I also let him relax and I bath the kids and do the teeth brushing. but on the weekends we are 50/50. He will bath them and help cooking as well. But I do feel like since I’m staying home the house is my job.
If one works and one don’t, I feel like the one not bringing in money should do things like that. Not saying what they do isn’t important but just what I think.
Honestly depends is he forcing you to inherit his mothers views or is he just letting you do what you do regardless. Me I work and so does my person: however he pays majority of the Bill’s so I take on cleaning. I also have two kiddos I am 100% responsible for he does do a lot for them but when it comes to messes that’s my part and honestly I do not mind. With that being said he knows I do not know how to cook so he does that part . I do not feel less of a women at all because I was raised by my father who thought a t.v. dinner was amazing for us kiddos. I appreciate my man’s hard work and dedication to our family regardless because he doesn’t have to do half the things he does.
I get some days not all household chores can get done, especially depending on age groups of the children. My house is gets cleaned everyday mostly because of my ocd, I can’t stand a messy house and I work. So is this an everyday thing? Hubby can help with a chore but it mostly falls on you since you do not work. I hate coming home to a dirty house after a long day but again I think that’s my ocd
Little children need attention and this is a critical learning time for them and you’re not doing anything wrong you’re putting your children first that is being a good mother and let the old crone complain all she wants to me it sounds like she’s jealous and your husband should tell her pay attention to her own home and your home is the business of the two of you and to butt out
Why do you need to please her?
As a single mama, you do what you can when you can, and often there’s sacrifices.
In marriage I fully expect that my husband can be helpful and pick up the slack when I need it… I once moved with a man who never maintained anything! And I’ll tell you, never again. Just because he works 8 hr days doesn’t mean he can’t run a load of his clothes or wash a few dishes or vacuum a floor.
I’m All about teamwork (including kids) to make the dream work. I’m not willing to fight about who does what when. Life is too precious to waste.
Whatever… some women really analyse themselves over inlaws.Thats crazy! You do you and if they don’t like it just tell em not to come by anymore… most mothers clean up when the kids are in bed anyway as they just keep taking things out… they are only little for such a short time enjoy it
I’m a stay at home mom and I don’t see it as chores or being my husbands maid or something. I see it as contribution to my relationship and family to take care of the house and kids while he works hard every day all day for us to have the things we need and want. He deserves to come home to a clean home. That’s just me though
Everything is entitled to their opinion. If you don’t care about it than don’t worry about it. She isn’t living in her decade her opinion is just that an opinion. How you raise your family and deal with things is between you and your husband so ignore her nonsense.
If the wife stays at home and keeps a clean house then the husband should come home and take her out for a wonderful dinner each night . Just my 2 cents
It’s not women’s job but because your husband works and you stay at home it’s your responsibility to cook and clean who wants to live in the dirty home
Then move out of her basement and find you a real man…or quit bitchin about it.
Don’t blame her its what women have. Been told most of there life in the past. But no there was two of you making them babys.
If he is the only one working, then yes, but he has to help some and/or show appreciation.
Yes it is🤷♀️ When I and my partner we’re together I did all of the above except cooking and also worked 40+ hr weeks and when we separated and I took full care of our two children I continued to do AOTA + cooked and continued working. So if you are lucky enough to have a partner whom works so you can stay home and raise your children then YES it is your job to take care of the home front so that they ALL are taken care of. He deserves to have a clean and tidy home, dinner on the table, clean washing, warm made bed, towels at the ready, stocked up cupboards and fridge and kept kids to come home to after a long days work that is team work!! It is achievable as a family unit and that is not to say he can not help with the children when he gets in either!
Do it as you please. And never mind her. She can do it if shes worried
A marriage is a partnership. How job takes him out of the house. Your job is work at home. When he gets home from work you are both off the clock. Now it is time for the partnership work to begin. You both need to work together until time for bed. Teach your children to be responsible like you two.
Partnership is 50/50. My partner never expects anything of me. However, because he is the main bread winner and works 13 plus hours a day I feel fine with cleaning cooking and minding the kids. It’s not a chore for me it’s a contribution to my relationship and household. I’m kind of been built this way though like I feel bothered if my house is unclean and stuff. But he still helps out where he can especially in weekends
If your a stay at home mom and he works and pays the bills your the only person at home that can clean and cook and care for kids. If the role was reversed it would be him. Me and my hubby both work full time and both take car of our kids. I still do a majority of the cleaning and cooking and laundry but he 100 percent helps because I work just as well as he does and I take care of my kids