Is it a womans job to cook and clean?

Maybe he is not husband material?

Parents duties to help with the kids and household. They both had the kids.

If he works outside than she should do her part in the home and clean it.

Does it work for you and your man? If the way ya’ll run things in y’all household works for the 2 of you it doesn’t matter what his mom or anyone else has to say, plain and simple.

Lol unless you’re striving to be a 1950s housewife then no way haha

Man are just as capable of cooking, cleaning, diaper changing…I hate a double standard…run don’t walk…

Do what your husband does; say nothing. “Let sleeping dogs lay.”

How is this even a question clean your house.

in the old days, it was considered a woman’s work. however, in recent years- it’s become a partner’s work too. it’s archaic to think that the dynamics between spouses would remain the same over many, many years of change. work is to be split 50/50 whether someone works or not.

I’d say if he pays the bills. U do the cleaning and cooking

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Each of us prioritizes home life differently… follow your heart.

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He should stick up for you. She is not old and decrepit

If your husband works all day then yes, I raised kids and I did my chores and had lots of time to play with the kids. If my husband stayed home and I worked full time, I would expect the same from him.

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Make him stay home for a week or 2 if he can do it all then consider the situation.

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I’ve been a stay at home mom for a little over a year now. Do I miss work? Yes!!! But I am enjoying my time at home with my little ones. Cooking and cleaning keeps me sane to be honest. And with kids it seems like I always have to clean. However, it does get overwhelming and sometimes I go days without cleaning or days without cooking. But then I snap back to reality and get back to it. My children need to eat. I need to eat. We all need clean clothes. With all that said. I think I do tend to do most of the cooking and cleaning. My husband helps on his days off sometimes but I do most of the cleaning and thank the lord that my husband likes to cook so he doesn’t mind picking up that slack from time to time. He also helps with dishes :heart:. I say do what works for you as a couple. And for the working partner give the stay at home parent a break from time to time. Stay at home parent pamper the working partner from time to time. I’m sure it would make the other feel appreciated and want to help you more when you need it.

Let M-I-L babysit for a few days and then tell you how much housework she got done? I’m energetic, also in my 60’s, and babysit grandchildren. I mostly keep up with meal prep, dishes or a load of laundry, and the kiddos can help a bit. Yet, bulk of my time with them is spent “being present”–this is more valuable that perfect house-keeping. Hubby should gently, but firmly, tell his mommy that he’s got this–along with everything else in his marriage/family–and she needn’t concern herself with daughter-in-law’s role in their own home. (I suspect housekeeping style isn’t the only opinion his mommy feels free to share?)

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She sounds like a b of a mother in law. Don’t let her get to ya

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My man helps me with cleaning and cooking - he enjoys helping me in the kitchen . I guess I’m lucky.

Girl bye. He better be helping out in the house. Those jobs have no gender roles

Your not good enough…YOU ARE BETTER!

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She needs to not criticize you it’s an insult to her son

I think u sld do as much as u can everyday.being I work and I love to come hm and smell good food cooking and the house clean.i feel like she loves me and wants me to be happy.and yes I do my part too

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I don’t think it’s any of her business what works for you and your husband :heart:

Your mother-in-law needs to mind her own business.

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Mother-in -law should stay the hell out of your business… if husband and kids are happy… nuff said.

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Tell a woman her job is to cook and clean. Dude you’re about to learn what the hand said to your face.

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You don’t need to worry about whether or not you’re good enough for her, you just need to worry about whether or not you’re good enough for him, and you, and your kids

This sounds like my life! Except I actually believe that my partner agrees with her whole heartedly… :woman_facepalming::woman_facepalming:

Your Not!!! But you are obviously perfect for her son. Monster in Lawer.

This ain’t the old days anymore if y’all are happy then what you’re doing is right

Maybe the mil should mind her own business.

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Girl clean your damn kitchen. It takes 20 mins

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same here I married a Greek …

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Ok listen to me.
Fuck them both, what’s the worst than can do to you.
Repeat after me - yep, yep, yep, yep. Just say that every time.

Tell her to mind her own business

She can take her opinion and shove it.

You aren’t married to your MIL. It doesn’t matter what she thinks.

Sure once they are in school you will have lots of time

It’s not that hard to do both.

A woman’s job is anything she decides it is.

Jobs should be equally shared in the household

If its a job or your job for that matter, then tell her you wanna get paid. Then see her shut up.

These comments are missing the point. She never said she didn’t do any jobs, didn’t clean etc, she said she puts her kids first and that her mother in law demands she do EVERYTHING so her husband doesn’t have to “lift a finger”

Many of you forget being a SAHM is a full time job, especially when the kids are so little

So should she do jobs? Sure. But she shouldn’t be expected to do everything. She is not the babysitter, the maid and the cook - she is his wife and should be treated equal - meaning he should also help with the house and the kids

Yall acting like it’s still the 50s and women should do everything :roll_eyes:

Furthermore - if she’s not doing enough for the MILs precious son, then maybe the MIL should help out

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If you eat … you cook. If you make a mess you clean. If you dirty clothes, you do laundry. Gender neutral.

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I’d tell her she can have him back…

Everyone in life has a purpose and a “job” if you stay at home, the question I have is why wouldn’t you clean up after yourself and your children and cook meals for your family? Why is that more his responsibility than yours, considering he is away from home most of the time, not making any messes, providing for you and the children, and everyone has to eat, so why not the person who has more time at home cook? I don’t get these questions and not sure why women don’t think that being a SAHM is such a privilege and a blessing and think that the man should work and then come home and clean and cook and watch the children? Of course sometimes that’s helpful and considerate to give their partner a break, and I’m sure most men do that, like the yard work and fixing things around the house and doing a the vehicle maintenance and taking out the trash and moving furniture and heavy things… I am not sure why cleaning and cooking and watching and playing with your own children is such a chore for some women? It’s not a “womans” job, it’s the job of whomever stays at home all the time… don’t try to spin it into a sexist argument… it isn’t that at all.

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This depends on your relationship and how your duties are split up. If you’re a stay at home, I would normally agree you should be maintaining the home for equal responsibility. But whatever you two agreed to is ultimately what stands.

She’s his MOTHER- YOU are not!! Just remind her he’s a grown-ass man who can take care of himself- your children are not ~

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That’s between you and him

Tell that old bat to go to hell.

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I’m in my seventies and I don’t think that way. But you need to strike a balance. Stephanie Frydas had some good points. If you give all your time to your kids, that may entitle and spoil them. If they’re old enough, get them involved in chores as well.

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All about teamwork that is all

No your not wrong. Husbands should help out

Your kids won’t remember whether your floor was mopped and swept, but they WILL remember the times you played with them! They are only little for a very short time…kids are most important- everything else can wait!

Hell nah it’s a couples job to share responsibility

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It’s an adults job to cook and clean. There ya have it.

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My ex mother in laws the same, even when her son was out of work and I was working full time. I was the woman so I should’ve been taking care of the house despite coming in from work and looking after our son while he slept :woman_shrugging:t2:

You should do most things.

It should go both ways

FUCK NO !!! Maybe he should kick up his game and do the cooking

If you don’t work and are home all day well of course you should do the house work. Why do you get the pleasure of doing nothing but spend time and play with the kids all day but he has no choice. Bet if he quit his job to sit around you wouldn’t be happy!

Old school for sure. You do you.

I have done both. While I was a SAHM I made sure there were groceries and clean clothes for my family. Luckily my husband didn’t care if the baseboards were spotless. His only household chore was taking the trash to the dump. Everything else was mine including vehicle maintenance and lawn care. I was happy to return to work after 12 years but my kids really reaped the benefit of having the security of mom at home. They never mention how much cleaner the house could have been because it was the place all the kids came to and had fun, snacks, and freedom to roam. The graveyards are full of women who had floors you could eat off but they’re dead nonetheless, just as we all will be.

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You really think he should work all day spend time driving hsve the hassle of work snd stress snd you don’t have time to to the dishes please

‘Not good enough for this woman’, you’re not with her, you’re with your husband, that’s the only person you should focus on. But he does need to tell her to shut her mouth :tipping_hand_woman:t2:

Your kiddos come 1st! The dishes can wait, your children are only young for a short period. He can help out on weekends . My boys Dad worked came home and do dishes or vacuum, because he knew my hands were full with the boys lol

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Gender has nothing to do it. Agreed upon responsibilities between the members in the household is the right answer.

I have always felt that a wife that doesn’t work should try to keep a clean home for her family and be a good mom to the kids. The house doesn’t have to be spotless and there can be dirty dishes in the sink but she should also make sure that the meals are cooked …the husband should help out like help with dishes, some times he can also vacuum once in a while. sharing the chores … kids need attention and that is more important than anything - showed love and encouragement … As a mother of 4, grandmother of 12, great grandma of 4, and 74 yrs. old - the phase your husband used " set in her ways" just doesn’t cut it. She’s wrong, My youngest son has two children and they are a hand full at times, their mom is the best. I have gone to their home and helped out with the dishes, the washing. etc. If it bothers your Mother-in-law so much she should offer to help you out once in awhile.

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If you work to no but if not it is your job to cook and clean but not all day find you some time for you to sit and watch something on tv

I feel there are pros and cons to both sides… opinions are like assholes… everyone has one… The only thing that should be done is what your husband and you have agreed upon… if there is no agreement in the matter now is the time to have that pillow talk on the matter.

I would say to her I am going to the park with my kids, if my dishes bother you so much come over and do them!

I think you can do both I had 5 children but had to work also to make ends met I wish I could have stayed home with my children’s do what you can with the job you are doing you will find a way to do both be a mom and a wife give love to both

If you don’t have a job then yes you should fit it into your schedule

I was a stay at home mom and let’s be real especially with a new born they sleep alot. No reason you can’t do some picking up and cooking during that time. I cooked whole dinners everyday. U learn some recipes that are easier like soups etc and stick with them. I’m sure the time it took to send this post to the fb page u could have vaccumed the living room. If you have time to play on ur phone you have time to get things done. If it where the other way around and I got off work to no food or a dirty house I’d be mad… now we both work and Share house work and our son is 3.

We share responsibilities as the kids grow older they are also responsible in keeping the house clean

Tell her to come over & do it. :woman_shrugging:t3:

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What does your husband think? Its none of his mothers business. That being said, if youre home it is possible to effectively raise your children and do house chores. I know - I have 5 grown kids. Yes, dishes should be done. It takes just a few minutes. Yes, throw in a load of laundry. Yes, make beds amd vacuum, mop floors, dust. Get your kids involved - have them help. It teaches them responsibility and that theyre part of a family unit. It helps with growth amd development, and can even be academic: “wipe the kitchen table with the blue dish cloth 3 times… 1, 2, 3!” That’s gross motor skills, language, and math. Cooking is a great math exercise, teaching about measurement. Laundry is great for sorting and classification skills. And if your kids are young, you set them in a position where they can observe and you tell them what youre doing - its called self-talk. Of course it’s important to enage your children in play, too, and there is always time for that. Start by looking at your routines and schedule. What time do you get up in the morning? What time do your kids get up? When do you go to bed? Consistency depicted by a picture schwdule for your kids makes their day predictable and assist with behavior management. Yes, girl, your husband’s mother needs to mimd her own damn business - but you need to step up your game, too.

Fuck being good enough for her. You good enough for YOUR man? He loves you? He’s happy? Oh ok.

Why did you marry him? They are in the 50.s

stay at home wife din ako pero lahat ng gawain tulungan kami ng asawa ko.

You’re not married to MIL.

Help each other out!!! This isnt the 1940’s anymore. Split it up. Compromise.

Does your husband also reside in your home? You live there. You both do the housework.

What do you want? Make your husband cook when he comes home tired? He is taking care of you. So you take care of him. The power is yours at home. :joy:

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How bout you decide on who should do what.

Uuuummm I hope I am not that mother in law that you speak of

Well if he’s working all day…

Damn that, if you are doing what you doing, and he has no complaints, fuck his mom, you married him not her… Facts!!!

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Is it a woman's job to cook and clean?

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I’ve been a stay at home wife for 17 years. My husband didn’t have to lift a finger as far as the house work. Why would? He worked a full time job and a part time job for YEARS… To provide for us plus he still did outside stuff on his days off. So yeah in the house he had to do absolutely nothing. I was also a stay at home mom when my kids were little and it was the same. My house was always clean. I never had to choose between washing dishes or playing with my kids. So that part I’m not understanding…

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I have always been a stay at home mom raising 4 children while my husband was out working. My husband always walked in to a clean home with dinner ready. I felt that while he was out earning to make our life comfortable for us it was my duty to make sure he enjoyed coming home every night. He has always provided us with a comfortable home and we never lacked or wanted for anything. Why would i just sit at home doing nothing while he was out working his buns off to provide for us? We celebrated 41 years of marriage this year. Now that he is home we work together and truly enjoy each others company and love spending time together.

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You only care for your kids and play with them??? I think you could do more. At least make dinner. What man wants to work all day and come home to no dinner???

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Chores are on both partners. He lives there and uses things. She was raised differently. I personally was raised its a partnership through and through sahm or not.

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Mother or not… He’s married to you not to mommy

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Also best advice my mom gave me, is whenever my grandma said something and she didn’t like it. She said she would let it go in one ear and out the other, go home and do whatever she wanted :woman_shrugging::woman_shrugging:

Do you work? If no then yes I feel it should fall all on you. If you do work. Then no, he should definitely be helping around the house.

I was brought up to look.after the man. I also have kids and run my own business. He runs his business and I cook and clean inbetween everything. It’s not hard at all. I don’t get the I have kids and can’t do it. Yes. You can. My kids are 23 and 16 now. Doing great. Mil needs to keep her nose out. But looking after the home and kids is part and parcel of being an at-home mum. It’s not hard. He’s paying.

I mean if hes at work doing his job and ur at home …exactly what is ur job??? …I was a stay at home dad for a small period of time and the house was spotless not so much the other way around lol

To be fair I don’t think it’s too much to ask to at least have dinner cooked. :person_shrugging: What man who works all day wouldn’t appreciate coming home to that? I don’t know how many kids you have. I don’t know how you allocate your time so I’m not sure why you can’t cook or clean. It all ties together. Kids need to eat as well and they need a clean home to play in. I can’t believe this is even an issue. So many people on here saying how unimportant it is boggles my mind. Just like a thread last night about how unimportant bathing is. During COVID. Society is so weird.

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Ooh she is nowhere close to right. Like my Daddy always told me, relationships take 2. Its a 50/50 in both people. That’s means 50/50 of EVERYTHING in life down to the kids and cleaning the house. Nothing should just fall to 1 person that’s too much to ask of 1 person! Shes just set in her ways with being 60 and all. My mil is in her 40s but still knows that things arent the way they were back then! I’d lose my mind on her if she was this way. The work falls on BOTH PARTIES NOT JUST ONE!!

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