Are you a stay at home mom? It’s kind of unfair to expect your husband to do stuff when he gets home if you are staying home with the kids. Our kids are older but even when they were young. Their mess, their responsibility, and they do it because it has been instilled from a young age. My husband will insist on the mopping and sweeping, and I don’t iron. The rest I do myself in between taking care of kids, homework, weekly shopping etc. When I’m working, we hire help. My husband works from 7am till between 4 - 5pm, is a chef, so is on his feet all day. In fairness, how can I expect the man to stand next to a sink of dishes, fold laundry and and and, when he has already stood all day earing an income for us? Just my humble opinion
Household chores like cleaning etc should be shared
How you choose to live your life it’s none of your MIL business, ignore her completely and live your life, she can go and do the dishes if she wants, this is a sign of a controlling mother in law, soon she gonna say that she doesn’t like how you sleep with her son
Having been a stay at home mom and a working mom. Question if you put 8 hours a day into making sure house is clean and things are taking care of what else is there to to ?
I try to do everything for when he gets done but we have 7 kids and he works really long days. Is he mad when all the dishes aren’t done no he’ll do some. Is he upset when there isn’t dinner for him. No because I have to feed the kids and on days like this he isn’t isn’t home so I’ll make something after I made the kids foods and I try to make sure there are enough left overs for him but some left over he won’t eat because he doesn’t like them just because they are weird when he has to microwave them. I clean all day long on top of having kids from 1 to 11 and I always feel like I don’t do enough either. Sometimes it’s impossible to get everything done
Yo as long as the house is clean and y’all can walk through it and not have anything gross anywhere, do what you want.
I wouldn’t say it’s a “woman’s job” but if your home all day and he goes to work I don’t see how asking to clean up or cook is asking to much.
Me- I try to keep the house clean and not have my boyfriend do anything when he gets home cause he works and I don’t. I also usually have dinner done around the time he gets home if it isn’t just finishing when he walks in. I got 2 kids and I’m 7 1/2 months pregnant with his first.
I clean, take care of our LO, and do the laundry, my husband works and cooks dinner (he also helps so much with our son when he gets home so I can have a break). We do what works for us not what works for other people.
No it should be equal no matter what. Time lost with your kids will never be available again. Enjoy while they are young- from one mama to another.
How does she know what you do all day? Do you live together? If so move out. If not don’t converse with her about your day. On the other hand if you’re a stay at home mom then yes, I would say the house chores is your job during the day, but when he comes home he can help with the cleaning and kids.
I was a SAHM for 6 years. I took care of my two littles first and foremost. If I had time to clean house then by all means it was done. My husband is one that thinks it is the “wife’s” job to keep house spotless. Yes I cooked 99% of the time. But he thought he could sit around and do nothing but I told him that I have a full-time job raising our kids and making sure they were taken care of. I always done dishes while I was cooking supper the next night. But I refuse to be the one to do all the house work.
Unless she pays your bills, sleeps with your husband, tell her how you keep your house is really none of her business. That’s between you and your husband…not her. Also if she doesn’t like the way your house looks, easy solution. Don’t come over.
When the kids were little (babies) and I was a SAHM I took on ALL responsibilities at home. When they were toddlers they were given chores per their age. Now that I work full time and so does my husband and the kids are older we all split chores evenly.
It does NOT have to be solely the moms job. My husband cooks, cleans and helps with the kids. The same as me. And the kids all do chores. So that way we all have down time and family time.
Household chores should be shared, but as a SAHM I feel it’s the least I can do. Now trust me when I say I hate cleaning lol, but I just try my best to keep up with everyday messes (dishes, laundry, pick up toys, dinner, etc.) Now that’s not to say every now and again the dishes aren’t done the second he gets home, but he doesn’t sweat me about it (I’m 9 months pregnant chasing around a 2 year old lmao.) On weekends, he helps with deep cleaning, that yard, our pets and other stuff. It just works for our family. I wouldn’t concern myself with what your MIL thinks- talk to your husband and if it’s working for you and him, great! If not, maybe discuss what are some things you guys can compromise on so you’re both happy
My opinion is the house doesn’t have to be spotless or sparkly but as a stay at home parent you can get a lot of things done in a hour in your household while the children have some independent play! I don’t think everything should fall on your shoulders but you should at least be keeping the house up not immaculate but tidy. Just my opinion and I let my son run around or have independent play in his playroom while I clean the house and my house is always immaculate! Now I get some days are harder than others and you won’t get as much done but i do think it’s not a big deal for you to do a few dishes and a load of laundry! Literally could clean my house from top to bottom in a hour so plus it gives you a greater sense of accomplishment when you do clean and have a routine everyday!
If the woman doesn’t have a job, then yes, that is her job. If the woman has a job and the man doesn’t, it’s his job. If they both have a job, then it should be equally both other job to upkeep the place together Also, the kids should be both of y’alls responsibility as well and not just one sided. Taking care of kids is a job itself. In your situation, I think your mil is just old fashioned and being a bit hard on you. My grandma is the same way. I don’t have a job yet and am a sahm. My job is to cook, clean, and take care of my son. BUT it’s okay to live life and enjoy your kids without having to clean 24/7
Get off your butt and clean your house!
Oh my gosh I understand this completely and that is choice I believe I mean I did everything while he worked but when he got home I’d expect him to spend some time with the kids while I cook dinner he can’t do housework while he is at work so unfortunately it’s up to you to maintain it on the weekends he should be catching up on all things he needs to do in the house
As for the mother in law he should be dealing with her and sticking up for you if not you need to stick up for yourself
My husband was raised by his great grand parents, so he thoroughly believes that a woman’s job is to cook and clean yes. I do not have to have a job but I’m not one to stay home, so yes I work 50+ hours a week, cook dinner, and take care of the household chores. Whilst he takes care of the yard, outside stuff and takes out the garbage. Might not seem fair to me, but it’s my fault because if he does help me clean, I don’t like the way he does it so I’ll redo it anyways. It makes him feel bad when I do that so we decided what works for us and that how we do things. Your life isn’t about pleasing other people, it’s about what works best for your family.
Clean your fucking house ffs.
Im a SAHM.but I also work from home. I have 3 kids , my partner wrks long hours. I make sure he has a lunch packed to take, food ready when he geta home. I also homeschool my children and my daily routune consist of getting up early making breakfast, dressing kids for the day, get learning and school wrk in, prep n serve lunch, more school wrk, lay kids for nap, clean. While they sleep, prep dunner, wash , fold n iron laundry (yes i wash eveeyday), kids activity, serve dinner, give them a bath, then snack and bed time story, then all by 930 they are asleep. Then clean up any mess that might be lft, then ill ahower again get myself together now its like 1 a.m I finally get to ait down and get my wrk down and i can finally lay down about 4/4:30a.m then backbup at 730a.m
Who cares what she thinks? She doesn’t live in your house. I think both spouses or domestic partners or whatever should equally contribute to the household. My parents are in their 70s and they both do chores.
As long as our kids aren’t complaining about being hungry when he gets home our house could look like a war zone and my husband doesn’t say anything about it and if I apologize for the dishes not being done he asks me who in the hell has said anything to me about it and to come snuggle and to worry about it tomorrow. He works from before sun up to sunset 7 days a week, he’s happy if I’m happy, I could feed him cup of noodles and he would eat it with a smile on his face because we are together and that’s what our marriage is revolved around, he knows even if I clean all day there is going to still be something that needs to be done. As long as he’s got clean boxers and clean socks for work he’s pretty content.
You married him not his mom
We share jobs in the house . But I do most of the work in the day why he at work . Then kids have job too . If he home in time to help make dinner . We do most of the cooking dinner to get the . My old daughter help with dinner to.
If he works every day and you stay at home then yes you should keep the house up to wear its not messy
Tell her she’s welcome to come over and do it all if she thinks that’s what he “deserves”.
Fxck Her Expectations… Some Are Way Too Set In Their Ways And Beliefs, Babies/Kids Come First And Everything Else Can Wait!
Your mother in law can be set in her ways but it is not her business how you run your house or what you do. Sorry to burst her bubble but we don’t get married to be slaves and your mother in law needs a life refresher that we live in the era that you both do 50/50. If his mummy doesn’t want him to lift a finger when he gets home maybe he should go and live with his mother again
If you are not working then the house should be clean.
My husbands mom used to iron his socks, then hang them up on the clip hangers you use for skirts or dress pants. Don’t pay your MIL too much attention. Everyone is different. I always worked outside the home once our daughter started school. I try to accomplish one house-work type thing per day. You are not a servant, you are a home maker. Your job is making a home for your husband and children and that is exactly what you are doing.
It’s not your job to be good enough for her. As long as you are good enough for yourself, your children and your husband your job is done. Honestly if I were you I would tell her that her son married you and not her and to respectfully stay out of your marriage and tend to her own.
When do you get a chance to “not lift a finger”? No one gets that regularly unless they have slaves.
My dad worked at GM & worked long hours 2nd shift, sometimes until 3 or 4am … he’d still be up, no later than 8:30 or so & we had a great garden in the city, plus of course the yard to keep but on Monday we did the sweeping & dusting & on Thursday it was laundry… in summer I helped before I was allowed to go swim or play. I ironed later in the day… .
We didn’t have a dryer until I was about 13/14 so clothes were outside on a line… vacuuming always meant furniture was Moved too! Mom worked PT until she was diagnosed with Cancer when I was 17… Dad always did a lot around our house!! I guess it was something they agreed on
As the stay at home parent, it’s good to find a balance between playing with your kids and taking care of a few things around the house. I’m also of the belief that when our husband comes home from work, he should also contribute to the home you share. Everything should be a partnership and while your mother in law obviously didn’t grow up in a day and age where this was the norm, it’s how it is now. She’s not going to accept it and that’s okay. Tell her you hope she has a good time slaving away in her home all day because you’re going to take time to enjoy your children AND make sure you keep a house worth living in, even if the dishes don’t get done every single day.
I mean to each their own, but if my husband (“single” mama here) was busting his buns and providing for our household, and all of our needs(& wants)… I would want the house to be clean & comfortable when he got home from a hard day… As well as having a hot meal ready for him… Hell, I don’t even have a husband to do this for, but I do have 4 kids, and I make sure that most days, it’s done. Children, as well as adults, function better in a clean and tidy environment. Unless your husband is a nazi, I’m pretty sure he has let plenty slide before complaining… If you have the privilege (yes, Babygirl, it’s a privilege in 2021) of being a homemaker, Why is it an issue to ensure that the home is “made”?
Here the deal back in the day that’s how it was taught old school BS. Here’s a question for mother inlaw if she wants you to do that who the hell suppose to take of the kids? If he ain’t complaining keep doing what your doing. Your good mother. That’s why men think the way she thinks. All men are mama boys. That’s you guys house. Don’t second guess yourself. It worked for him. But he won’t tell her that.
Omg the question itself made my blood pressure rise while simultaneously making me feel grateful for my own Mother in law.
Really marriage is about partnership and playing to each others strengths. If you both work then divide and conquer, in my experience if one is a stay at home parent/spouse then most of (not all) the household duties normally fall to them but that has nothing to do with gender. At the end of the day you just can’t please some people, if y’all are happy that’s all that matters.
It’s not ur job to please her. U didn’t MARRY HER! For some reason a lot of mother in laws never think ur good enough for their sons. As long as u and ur husband are happy is all that matters. And btw, he should be stepping in to back you up or I’d be saying something to defend myself if I were u and put MIL in her place. Her son is married, she shouldn’t be butting into it. It’s hard to have the kids entertained, cook & keep the house clean all day while maintaining ur sanity too. Taking care of children at home is a Job too. Mother’s never stop. They can’t say “ok bye! My shift is over! I’m done for today”
Sorry but if you are at home while hubby is working then yes you should be cleaning and cooking. It’s only plain laziness if you dont
Ask your MIL if she wants her son back , if not ask her to butt out , it’s not the 1950’s ffs !!
If your a stay at home mother and he’s off busting his ass at work all day - then yes you should clean
And I’m sure when it’s his days off your laid up like a goddess while he tackles the mountains of chores and kids after all when do you get a clock off card ??
It’s not even a women’s thing in this case… Even if the man stayed home I would say you can do more then just play with the kids… Come on now… Like you can’t cook a meal for the family and clean up the house AND play…
I’m not telling you it would be spotless…
It’s not that your mother in law should be talking about what’s right or wrong, but honey… If I work all day and my man should say I rather play and I could still clean up every time… I would lose my shit!
I’m a new sahm and lemme tell you, RAISING A KID IS A FULL TIME JOB WITH NO BREAKS AND YOU WORK OVERTIME!!! If your kid is anything like mine, cleaning is almost impossible because you are constantly having to care for the baby.
He lives there too. he helps make messes, he helps eat the food, he helps by using water for a shower so he should help clean the house. You are NOT his maid. You are his WIFE. You didnt marry him just to clean. Dont make him feel like you did.
I feel this way I clean if I want to I clean if I don’t if you do not like my house the way it is then stay out of it it’s my house
I stay home with our 5 kids and my husband works. (12, 10, 10, 8 & 4 months) Our house gets messy but not dirty enough to have someone say something about it. I make sure dinner is done or at least almost done by the time my husband gets home. Sometimes it doesn’t work out that way due to 3 of our kids have football and cheer. When my husband gets home and even on his days off he helps with cleaning and he does the outside stuff too. I am not my husbands slave we are a team and a very good one at that. You married your husband not his mother so obviously your good enough. Tell her how you feel. I would.
I can’t even post my opinion here. Like this whole post just made me done with this entire page. I’m out.
Be the domestic goddess you were meant to be it’s not that hard. I raised 6 kids worked a full time job and still managed to keep a clean house and have a home cooked meal every night
Your MIL is in her 60’s and back in her day a SAHM did it all. She is expecting you to do the same. As long as you and your husband are fine with how the household is going who cares about her opinion. You will never be good enough and that is the reality. Some MILs are that way. You aren’t meant to please her. As long as your husband and children are happy you’re doing what is right. The dishes and vacuuming can wait. Your building memories and giving your children the nurturing they need.
Your husband does need to have a talk with his mother. He needs to tell her that his house will be different than the house he grew up in. She needs to mind her business.
No.
Cooking and cleaning are BASIC LIFE SKILLS that are not exclusive to women and if that’s what she expects, then she was trying to raise her son to be dependant on someone else to look after him.
The issue here is that your husband doesn’t have the spine to stand up to his mother. Being 60 doesn’t mean you’re incapable of learning, and there is absolutely no excuse to stand by and let a toxic family member criticise your partner because “they’re set in their ways”. That’s a weak cop out because he doesn’t want to confront her.
Also a stay at home mom with 2 year old twins and 4 bigger ones. What would they do at daycare?? PLAY. You are doing things riright. Good moms have messy floors. With this said, I try to clean up before he’s home and he also has dinner made. I do my part!! Always have always will. Currently up just to pack him for work for the day, then I get my butt moving on house, before they wake
I mean i personally think if you are home all day, your house should be kept mostly clean, for hygiene alone. I have 3 kids and a farm and definitely get the dishes and vacuuming done.
Man OR woman, no one needs to work all day and come home to filth and dirt
I guess I’m not wife material either, my son comes before house work. That I do when he goes to bed. I work 80 plus hours every 2 weeks, I enjoy my time with him.
I mean, are you sleeping with his mom? No? Then who cares. Unless he has an opinion on it, hers is invalid.
Actually, there are ways to do both. Moms have been multi tasking for years. Be thankful you can stay home with your children. You’re very very blessed.
Me personally if I am home I must clean Because I cannot live in mess. I am a bit old fashion tho I believe if you’re home all day you should clean. I always clean before I do anything fun, before school, after work and after dinner lol
But i think if you’re husband works hard and he comes home to a trashed ass house and nothing has been done with the kids then as a husband I would be pissed off.
When I live with my partner I would make sure the house was nice and dinner was prepared when he worked. And if I was working and he was at home he would do the same and clean and cook dinner.
You can still have fun with your kids and get stuff done unless you have a new born baby
There are certain thing’s a woman do around the house and there are certain things a man around the house, then there are thing’s they do together.
That’s up to you and your husband to communicate about house chores
This issue is why women are where we are today. End up being single mothers having to not only take care of our kids our home and work. Because the select few who have the opportunity to do things traditionally struggle with the idea. If you are a stay at home mom/wife you should try to find balance. Get yourself into a routine so that it all gets done. It’s exhausting work, no doubt. Some days you won’t be able to. And hopefully the husband loves you enough to pick up your slack that day.
As women thats what we do. We are care takers, home makers. We have let feminists and this messed up society strip that away from us.
Take it from a single mom who has to juggle it all. Take a deep breath, humble yourself, and be the best mom/wife you can be. It’s hard out here.
I am raising 4 kids, working and getting the house cared for. Come on lady, you have an opportunity most would kill for. Caring for your house is caring for your kids.
I like to make the attempt to have the house clean before he gets home BUT with a 9 and 5 year old it is near impossible. Let it go through 1 ear and out the other. The kids will make a mess and the mess will not stop until they are grown and on their own. Playing with your kids and spending time with them is a good thing and more important if you ask me. If it works for your home then what she thinks is irrelevant
This is a great opportunity to teach your children to keep house, cook, etc. I had a mother in law like yours and i had a conversation with her about how her comments made me feel and I asked her to show me what she means and if she had any tips and tricks of the trade. That shut her up. Then when my son arrived and was old enough, I started teaching him how to do little chores(like picking up after himself, making his bed, keeping his room clean, etc.) and helping me around the house. Then I included him on cooking and laundry. By the time he was 8, He was doing laundry and helping me cook and clean the house. He is 27 now and a great husband who participates and provides for his wife and takes care of me ( I am Disabled). Everyday is an opportunity to learn something new and make your world a better place.
Why are you worrying about what your MIL thinks? Is your husband happy? Are you happy? Your kids happy? You cannot (and will not) please everyone, all of the time. On another note, no, it’s not solely your responsibility to keep the house clean and food on the table.
I may be the odd one out but your kids are only small so long. Those dishes and vacuuming will always be their. Make those memories with your kids.
I’m a stay at home mom. I do all of the house work without expecting help, but I also make sure to spend a lot of time with the kids. Some days, the sink is full of dishes until 6pm. Other days, I get all of my cleaning done early, then spend the rest of the day playing with the kids and tidying. My son especially loves helping with laundry and sweeping, so we make that a game too. I figure it’s the least I can do, since my man works hard enough to make sure I can stay home with the kids.
Tell her to kick rocks. Your children are the top priority. She needs to take her ancient, outdated mentality and move a minimum of an 8 hour drive away with it. Gross. I’ll personally tell her off for you if you want.
I don’t think his Mom should be saying anything about your lives for sure, but if you do not work and are a stay at home mom then the housework for the most part is your responsibility. Again, this is between you and your husband, but I don’t think spending the entire day playing with your kids is very productive. There is a balance.
He lives there too. My husband works and still comes home and helps me with things I didn’t get to finish. Women like her are the reason why most m3n cannot care for themselves. She needs to mind her own.
Im a sahm of 9 kids and i still cook, clean and play with the kids etc my husband will help but i like having everything done so he can come home and relax after a hard day at work.
Staying at home all day while your partner works makes home responsibilities TO A POINT your “job”. The house should be kept up by you while you’re home all day. That is your contribution/work for the house hold. Now, that does NOT mean he should not have to do anything ever in the home. Things that come up when he is there, he should have no problem helping out too. When someone works a 9-5 and comes home by 6 but you were home all day with kids, I personally think you should have cooked dinner by then given the time, you were already there, and he worked all day. Clean up and dishes could be a joint effort. For me, I’m a sahm of 3. We also have a dog, ducks, and 10 cats (our new rescue just unexpectedly pooped out kittens a couple days after we got her.) and one of our kids is an infant. I care for the animals, kids, house, and lawn while my husband is at work. He comes home to a cleaned house and dinner on the table. I cook cause he is home by 6 and our kids are in bed by 8:30 and I’m home all day. We clean together after, sometimes I pick up the slack if he’s had a tough day, or occasionally when the dishes haven’t been done that night he does them in the morning before work. So essentially we wake up to a clean kitchen for our day. We tackle yard things and home projects together, if I need help or had a tough day he steps up, and we do store runs as a family. I take pride 100% in what I do in my home. Not everyone is like that and people differ. It’s not as cut and dry as “do I have to” or is it “a woman’s job”. Now if the roles were reversed, he was at home and you were working, HE should be keeping up the home in the same way. I guess so long as he’s not coming home after working all day to have to cook and clean for yall playing at home all day it’s less of a question to expectation vs respect and equal work put in. If it weren’t for him you wouldn’t get to sit at home playing with kids and some don’t get the option and both have to work.
I’m a sahm of four and my partner works full time outside of the home. I think it’s my job to care for the children and home, that’s the main reason I became a sahm. He helps me if I ask or need, does the mowing and car maintenance but it works for our family and I like to do it.
No, she is absolutely NOT right. This is the year 2021 and men can and should share in all the household chores. Your MIL is allowed her own opinion but YOU are allowed to ask her to keep it to herself.
No. It is a partnership. He should be helping too. Ignore his mother. Enjoy your time with your kids. They grow up in a blink of an eye. Sometimes the days are long, but the years go by so fast.
Girl don’t let any woman tell you how easy being a Sahm is like raising kids isn’t a FULLTIME job. Bless you for being an interactive mom!
You married your husband not your MIL. Take what she says with a pinch of salt, smile and nod. This is not the 1950s.
Now it works for some couples where one stays at home and the other the breadwinner where those archaic roles just take place. It’s whatever works for the family and household. A lot of people tend to forget that being the stay at home parent is a job in itself with many roles being carried out. A little bit of understanding, lots of communication and sometimes a bit of compromise goes a long way.
You decide what works best for yall… She need to mind her business. Most women feel like if he works than thats all he have to do… No he should cook and clean as well… She need to tell her lazy son to get up and help you… The audacity .
I was a single mom and done it all , but times are different .Let her say whatever, as long as you two are good with it. She just knows how she was raised , and how she handled her house. Learn to pick and choose your battles .My mil just passed ,and at first she didn’t like me. When she passed she’s my best friend.
Yes. If he works out of the home and you are a sahm, then your “job” is to care for the children and the home.
Who cares if the house is perfectly clean all the time? Spending time with your kids is way more important than cleaning. I mean as long as it’s not filthy why does it matter?
If your job is a stay at home Mom than yes it is your job to take care of the house. Sorry ladies but why should the husband work full-time come home and clean. I have 4 kids it’s really not that hard.
Your Husband is YOUR JOB, (you wouldn’t have children if it wasnt for him) and your children are your job, his mother is right( He shouldn’t have to lift a finger) his mom needs to mind her own Business tho
Yes, if you’re a stay at home mom. Now if you worked too then that would be a different story.
Yes she is right IMO You don’t realize how lucky you are to be able to stay home and be there for them kids without worry of finances so yeah a clean house with meals seems absolutely right to me
I am a SAHM and I do all of the cooking and cleaning and kids BUT his job is anything outside. When I am having a hard day with something he helps, it’s his home and his children as well.
Personally I am on the “whatever works best for YOUR family” page. No one should judge either of you for what works in your home!
Listen, you’re a wife and mom, not a maid. The priest didn’t say you may now kiss the maid!
Years from now, your kids will remember the memories you make with them, not how clean your house is!
Who cares what she thinks? Don’t ruin even one more minute trying to earn her love or acceptance.
As long as when he comes home, he is spending time with the kids like bathing them and putting to bed, and playing with them I don’t mind getting all the housework done as said above if you get into a routine shouldn’t take more than 1hr to do the whole house
I feel like the responsibility goes to the one at home. For a long time it was me. Then I started working and it was him at home. It was really hard for him though. He couldn’t manage to do it all, but he did his best so I didn’t bitch at him about it and he learned to never bitch at me about the house. Then we were both working and it’s an equal partnership to take care of the house, kids, and clean.
I’m a single mom of 4 with TWO grown kids(live at home but in school) I work 60 hours a week to support the house hold. I HATE coming home to a mess and they know it.
That’s between you and your husband you do what works for both of you it’s none of her business
Your house your rules period!yes I’m a sahm,yes I cook and clean but I’m not killing myself everyday so my husband can come home to a “clean” house.we have 3 kids and the house gets destroyed everyday lol. I do cook almost everyday too. I do my part but he also helps me after dinner to tidy up too.we are a team and he knows I’m not a servant.Tell his mom to F*** off!
She needs to mind her own business
She should offer to help you in stead of criticism
I’ve had a similar situation, no you should not have to do all of that. It’s a bunch of bull. I had my mother in law look at me at one point and tell me my house was disgusting and that I should have the house clean and asked me shouldn’t I want a clean house for my husband to come home to everyday? Needless to say this has scared me for life and I get massive anxiety when I know she is coming over cuz I worry it’s not gonn be clean enough for her and that she judges how my house looks. The whole thing oh well the man is at work all day so he should come home and be able to relax is crap. It’s not like we sit around eating bon bons all day. We take care of our kids, cook and clean all at the same time and our job isn’t a 9 to 5. So he should by all means be doing things to help. I’m sure he helps make the messes with dishes, laundry, etc.
Marriage is a partnership. Everyone has a part to play to make things run smoothly. Now as far as what your mother in law thinks, its not her business how you and your husband run your home. He should be able to tell her that respectfully. If he is okay with how things are then that is all that matters. Your children will only be small for a short time so yes, enjoy them but there is still time for a little upkeep. There will always be dishes and laundry so don’t be too hard on yourself.
No! It is not just a woman’s job to cook and clean. Sister in laws, mother in laws, mother, sister or anybody else for that matter, it’s not any of their business. If I don’t get in your business, stay out of mine. We’ve been married 53 years, we must be doing something right.
I was a sahm when my kids were small…mil comes from my era so I understand her…Back then I considered that my career…Hubby worked outside the home to support us and I did everything that needed to be done at home, in addition to whatever I had to do for the children…I didn’t mind at all…I was just glad he earned enough that I didn’t have to get a job…
If I’m home all day while he’s working then yes I cook and clean and take care of the kids… but taking care of kids alone is hard work. He gets a “break” from the kids. But I work and my bf works different hours and we both do the cooking and cleaning. He feeds the kids before I get home and waits for me tonget home for supper. I also don’t get home until 1030 pm… its 50/50 no matter what
This is how I was raised (I was born in the early 60s). But after being married for 38+ years to a man that was raised the same way and then some, I definitely do not agree with this at all. I HATE cleaning up, picking up after grown ass adults!!! Eff that. Don’t ever get with someone who has been waited on hand and foot by a parent, grandparent, they will just expect you to do the same.
Get your lazy tail up and do what you got married to do, you just lazy, what you want is for him to work, you lay around on your butt all day and then him do it all when he gets home, hid momas so right!!!