Yup, if your at home you take care of kids, housework etc, think yourself lucky, some of us have to work full time AND look after the kids & home
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She needs to take care of her own house.
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If you don’t work I’d agree with the mother-in-law if you have a job then no the the partnership changes and it’s both of your jobs to cook and clean.
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I feel this!! Stand up for yourself in a positive way and by doing so you are standing up for your kids to have you play with them! A saying I love is something like dirty dishes and dirty laundry will always be there but your kids are only little once and the memories of their mama playing with them will stay more than a clean home 
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I’m a SAHM. My day revolves around cleaning, laundry, outside care of my yard and vegetable garden, and making sure my 2yr old has enough activity and play time. My husband does do the cooking in house though. That’s the only “chore” I don’t have any part of. And it works great.
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You are not wronge,A mothers work never ends.when Dad gets home give him a while to unwind and then he needs to help out with the duties of raising the kids.Tell Grandma to stay in her lane.When your husband took on a wife and kids he needed to cut the cord from his Mom.I say give her a call and visits but he needs to man up to Mom and inform her he is a big boy now and she needs to respect his wife and home.Good luck honey.
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Well…yeah. if you are home all day- the home is your duty. Doesn’t mean he can’t help.
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I was a stay at home mom until all my kids were in school… I treasure those years! It’s a shared responsibility, entertaining children all day is a job in its self!
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I think it depends on each family individually. If we both work we both help out. Since I’m home I always tried to include my kids in cleanup etc and cooking with kids can be fun family time. But again it is important to communicate with your significant other and see what works for u both and go from there. No ones suppose to behave a certain way. A family works together!
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If you’re a stay at home mum then that is your job. But it also depends on the ages of your children and how demanding they are. And each day could differ and you all pitch in on the weekends to catch up if needed. Also, does he do any of his chores on his days off? Lawns, gardening, bins, handyman stuff etc. I found it hard when my son was very young and I was sleep deprived
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Wow some of these comments 
Being a stay at home parent of young children is hard and i think its a good bonus if you can get what you can done during the day, technically your both working, your both tired and your both parents so why wouldn’t he help?
Doesnt matter if its mum or dad home, your in a partnership and if the working partner is watching the other partner being worn down and still doesnt want to help, you are under valued. You should be looking after each other physically and mentally.
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House chores shouldn’t be gender specific but, you’re a team. If your partner is working, treat being home like a job. Not saying they should be completely excluded from chores. Communication with your person of expectations from both parties is crucial.
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It’s actually got nothing to do with your mother in law, you two work out what’s best for your family xx
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Ugh! Being a parent is a full time job too! Just because you are at home doesn’t mean that you aren’t busy running around after the child, whether that is playing, feeding or consoling! Jeepers times have changed! Tell her to come into the 21st century!!!
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Yes if you’re a stay home mum that is your role
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Tell your mil to mind her own business. You and your husband can manage married life without her help. And if your husband is an able body person there is nothing wrong for him to help out in the house chores.
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It is a husband and wife’s job to discuss what their roles should be at home and it’s ok to help each other out, but I think that conversation is needed!
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If one doesn’t work outside home then the home is your work. You cook, clean, and care for the kids, when he gets home he spends time with the kids while you get dinner ready. Then he helps get them ready for bed. This is what I did when my kids were small. When they became school age, I went to work and my husband and I shared the meal prep. But I did the house work and he took care of the yard work. When they were big enough the kids helped witb both.
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You shouldn’t subscribe to following strict gender roles, but it’s okay if you find yourself fitting into them naturally.
Both partners in a relationship should feel like their contributions are reciprocated. If one person is working full time while the other stays home, it’s fair for that person to feel like they’re pulling too much weight.
You should definitely address this problem early, either by arguing that what you do with your time is fair, by doing more around the house, or by contributing another way, like going back to work.
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As someone who’s wife is a SAHM I can say the way we work things is my wife is responsible for about 80% of the day to day stuff at home, simply because she is the one home for most of the day. Her being a woman has nothing to do with it, it’s simply she is here more than me so her responsibilities for the most part are wrapped up in the house, and trust me she does not play with the kids for 8 hours she gets naps in and has plenty of phone time as well, but the house always looks nice. There’s also plenty to do once I get home as well, and best believe I am helping out also, I’m helping with baths for the kids, bedtime, taking trash out, anything that breaks I fix it, mowing grass, car repair, pretty much maintaining everything yard wise. So it is never ALL on the woman, but if someone in the home isn’t working and is home all day, then yes THEY should be the primary ones to maintain the home, simply because they are there more.
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I go to work and work as a nurse…it’s tiring. My husband stays home so he does most of the cooking and some cleaning. I do clean too but on some of my days off. I have adult kids now so they cook too. But when my kids were young we both work and we both share duties.
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So as a stay at home mom the thing I’ve learned is to include the kiddos. After every activity we do we clean up- play dough/ coloring/ games/ then they enjoy watching me cook most of he time but turning on a movie helps me pick up what I haven’t throughout the day- when my husband comes home the house is usually fairly clean/ maybe some stray toys here and there- and my routine is to do the dishes after they are laid down and just kinda wipe everything down/ the tables and sweep a little. Then on the weekend I’ll do a deeper clean when he’s there and he will usually help out either with the kids or the cleaning. It’s a balance you have to find.
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I think having happy children and a relaxed engaged mama are more important than being the housekeeper. Marriage is a partnership and I hope hubby gladly gives you the help and support you need. I think his mom needs to keep her snotty opinion to herself.
This really depends on your family and what works best for them. In my family, my husband brings home the bacon and I take care of the house and our girls while he does that. When he comes home, all of the house duties become ours. He helps with the kids and gives me some relief, sometimes he cooks, and he helps me clean up after (most nights). On the weekends, he has certain things that he does for me. But ultimately, his job is the physical job he goes to everyday and my job is the home and kids during the day. But what works for us doesn’t work for others, and I don’t believe there should ever be “set jobs” for certain genders.
As for mama, she can butt out 
and if hubby won’t say something to her about her disrespect, you should. It may take time for you to find the strength to do that, but until then, don’t mind her. I would just wonder if he’s not saying anything bc he agrees or bc he doesn’t wanna fight her. That would be the question I’d ask.
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If you work, then the house chores and child minding should be split 50/50. But if you are a stay at home mom, or he is a stay at home dad, I should think the house parent should do most of the domestic chores and cooking, especially if the kids are in school all day. However, the working parent still should help out and spend time with the kids as well.
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My roommate is a guy and we have split the cleaning duties I do bathrooms and bedrooms he does the main room and his domain the kitchen he does 95% of the cooking and he is amazing at it! I just make pizza puff (from scratch (ish)) sometimes
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Work for 10 hours at home as he works for 10 hours as well to earn your keep. Then share the rest of house work that still needs to be done and take care of your kids together. That way both of you shared equal responsibility. Also learn to manage your time with the 10 hours work you put at home.
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If you feel overwhelmed then that is his problem and job. Daily cleanup but split major cleaning for weekend where he is off and fully able and capable of contributing to his household other than $$. His mom needs to butt the f out. Not her place not her business. You are the wife and mother not her and it undermines you as such. He needs to stand by his wife and put boundaries where his mother is concerned. If he says nothing he is encouraging and promoting those comments. No good will come of this if it continues. Especially with young children. They are your priority.
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You don’t have to be good enough for your mother in law. She should butt out and mind her own business.
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There is a lot to unpack here BUT you can start by disengaging with this woman. Let her have her opinions, they are separate from you.
(Whenever she shares her opinion of you, state “others opinions of me are none of my business”)
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Your mother in law in entitled to her opinion. But it is also ok for you not to care about her opinion.
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I hate to be this way but you can do both, set yourself up a schedule, before he comes home do the obvious. Take the trash out, do dishes, sweep, vacuum. If hes working all day then yes you do need to do chores. It’s part of a stay at home moms job. Does it make you not wife material? No, not at all. But just as a kind gesture to your husband I’d make sure it dont look like absolute hell when he walks through the door.
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I think your main priority is the kids…
Then clean etc whatever u can… once his home its both responsibility
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If you’re a stay at home mom, then I do believe the household chores shouldn’t be split 50/50 if he’s working all day. However, I don’t believe they should 100% fall on you either. I don’t think I would expect him to vacuum, cook, scrub the bathroom, etc. but I do believe he should have to pick up after himself and maybe do small things like take the trash out. Maybe the compromise is that after dinner he watches the kids for an hour or so, so that you can pick up? I also think it is important to teach your kids about chores and have them do age appropriate chores. I have my son (2) help pick up toys, help unload the dishwasher, and throw things in the trash. My husband and I both work full time so our situation is a bit different. I cook and do most of the house chores, he is responsible for picking up after himself, clearing the dinner table, taking the trash out, and mowing the lawn. We split child care duties 50/50.
I wouldn’t say it’s her “job”, especially if she also works full time and is a full time momma. If she is a stay at home mom, I could see that being more her responsibility if the husband is working full time. I also see it being even if they both work. It shouldn’t be one persons sole responsibility. You are a team and it should be a team effort.
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No she isn’t fully right , when you make a home ,and a family with someone they should help out even if they have an outside job. Maybe you should try to keep a more tidy home ,but it’s not wrong to put your babies first. He should help as the head of the house hold that is his home as well as yours ! He isn’t a guest therfore he should make an effort. Being the full time parent , is very very demanding, and hard .
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Yes and no. Focus on the kids especially while they’re young but as they grow teach them how to do things. They learn best by seeing what others do and helping. My husband works full time but also helps around the house because we’re a team. Communication is key. Talk with your husband. Some days you’ll need and appreciate the help. Other days you’ll want him to play with the kids so you can get things done when he home. It’s balance. Tell your mil to stay in her lane. She raised hers, now it’s your turn to retrain and raise your own! 
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My husband worked from 8 Till 7 so I had 3 all day took them out all summer just kept the house tidy used to do washing at night my husband helped on his half day off and Sunday he said fresh air is more important
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Hahaha okay girl I got you!!! I stepped back from my job to be a mom. Daycare is REDICULOUS! My MIL also struggles with my house not being “clean enough”. I love my husband and he helps. He will do anything I ask of him (yes I need to ask. I’m a control freak so he’s clearing it first lol). I haven’t told her and neither will he but I’m ready if she says anything to my face! I am a nurse, chef, baker, teacher, maid, counselor, referee, wife, and mother all within the first hour of my day. Maid never comes first. Playing, memories and love do. I teach them to clean up after themselves but I also teach them they come first not other people’s perception on me.
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I had a mother in law like that. My attitude was its none of her business. What matters is how you and your husband communicate and feel about the situation .Focus that energy on your kids and husband. It doesn’t matter what she thinks, you won’t change her.
It’s 50/50 between the two of you. This ain’t the 1950s where we stuck doing everything.
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Your MIL is butting in where she doesn’t belong. When she offers her opinion, smile and change the subject. You don’t have to be “good enough” for her. You have to be good enough for yourself. If all else fails, tell her you suspect that she’s not mother in law material.
Our roles are reversed. My husband is home with the kids and I work during the day. We also split the housework. It’s a lot of work taking care of kids and I would much rather he spent time with them instead of spending 8 hours a day cleaning the house while I worked.
How about you teach your kids to do chores… the problem is most do nothing but play… they have no concept of hard work. My grandmother watch her grandchildren every day cleaned and cooked and still had time to sit and watch 4 to 5 hours of TV or take us to do things and she had a sparkling home. Don’t use your children or gender roles to cover up for your lazy ass
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When my partner was alive I was working all hours I come home dinner was always their clothes cleaned and ironed ready for the morning I thought it was just normal sadly she passed away early age and I had to look after the kids by myself and I can tell you right now if I could turn back the clock knowing how hard it was for her looking after the kids cooking dinners you know what I mean my answer is we should all help it’s very hard for mums running a home with kids I’m Living that life now so look after your mum your wives girlfriends help her clean she needs a break too
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Is your husband complaining about the state of the house? If no ignore the mother in law and spend this precious time with your kids, they are grown up and gone too quick. If it is a real problem between you and him have a conversation about it. There is no reason he can’t lend a hand. Maybe do the dishes while you bath kids or visa versa. We had 4 kids and I stayed at home to care for them so that I could raise them with the values my hubby and I grew up with. I used to break the chores down for example; Tuesday I dusted, Wednesday clean kitchen, bathroom and toilets, Thursday vacuuming, and I threw a load of washing in every 2 days. Change sheets every fortnight, wash towels and Pjs every week. I made sure I did dishes straight after every meal, if you don’t want to, maybe invest in a dishwasher.some days I didn’t want to but by breaking things down I managed to keep us from being buried under a pile of dirt and washing. I still got to spend plenty of time with the kids and do family things on the weekend. When they started school I got to be involved with excursions and camps and sports. It was worth it. I tried to keep the kids to a routine of dinner, homework bath time, bed time story and lights out by 8.30pm and usually managed to get 7 or 8 hours of sleep. My day would begin at 6am and tried to be in bed by 10.30pm. It was busy, but satisfying and slept well😉 Sorry I’ve waffled on, hope this helps. Bless you😊
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I’m seeing lot of commenters say they don’t agree, but if you’re a stay at home mom then you should have those things ready for your husband. I say gtfoh with that, why are we supposed to do everything just because he works? What would he do if he was single? I’m so happy my husband gets it and was raised to understand that marriage is a partnership and actually helps with cooking and cleaning as we both work.
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My husband is only home for 2 days a week and he helps. It’s a partnership and both need to put in 100%. Im a sahm and I do the majority of the work but he doesnt expect me to do everything while he does jack. Granted on his first day home I wont let him. Hes drove thousands of miles and just wants to relax. So i let him. But he will do dishes, help with dinner, laundry, the kids, outside work, whatever.
Untimely, the way you maintain your household is up to you and your spouse.
She doesn’t really get an opinion, in my opinion.
However, when I was a stay at home mom, my partner paid all the bills and when he came home, he wanted to spend time with our child. I was the sole one cleaning and I was more than fine with that setup.
When I went back to work, we split up more of the cleaning chores.
But yeah, kids sleep and should play solo sometimes. I took those opportunities to clean or would clean in the evenings while my SO played with the kiddo.
You’re asking for opinions, so there is mine
But, have a convo with your hubby. It’s really the two of you who should decide what’s best for your household.
Division of labour. If you’re a stay at home mom then yeah, the house work and kids are your domain. Anyway, this isn’t a real question, it’s just a way for you to get people on your side and feel better about not wanting to do the dishes or mop the floors.
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I’m in my late 60s …We are not the same! I don’t agree with your mother in law’s opinions…But do agree that when children are involved…everyone(husband) (including children) should all be allocated a job or two to help out… Housework is repetitive everyday it shouldn’t be one person’s job…And as for your mother in law’s involving herself in her opinions…That’s a NO! How about helping out instead of judging!
Only if it’s for 8 hours with 2 15 min breaks just as the old man gets at work. And oh let’s not forget those water cooler and bathroom breaks he gets too 
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Is he a sperm donor or a husband? Parenting is your number one job. Helping keep the house clean and cooking is important, but there will always be housework. It never ends. He can help with small task’s and take turns with the children. They grow so fast, believe it! As far as your mil, I get her being concerned. Unfortunately, that’s on your husband to tell her that he has got this, and it’s your relationship. Take a step back, and talk with your husband about where to go from here. Good luck 
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Girllll r u crazy!? U r doing exactly what a woman/wife should be doing. It’s actually his job to do the rest. Raise those babies right with all the love, kindness and happiness in the world!!!
Many years ago I read an article about how much a woman should be paid to be a nurse, chauffeur, etc. Share chores so you both can spend quality time with each other and your children. Also, only you get to decide who does what at your home.
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So truthfully the best answer is if the roles were reversed… What would you want him to do? I have been in both roles and I can tell you that when I worked full time and my husband was home I was super happy when I came home and everything was taken care of. It took tons of stress off of me. Im not saying everything was always done and I never minded doing things as well. However, if you don’t have time then don’t stress about it either
You have nothing to prove to her. Your children are only young once, yes tidy up up and clean abit but spending time with your children is so important. Personally, i would havw a word with her myself or tell your husband to get some balls unless hes not saying anything because he has the same views. If anything this woman should be praising you for being a good mother. Relationships are 50/50 we’re not in the olden days where a womans main priority is cleaning and attending to the mans every whim, we have more value than that.
What matters that you and your husband have a harmonious relationship. If you’re both happy With your arrangement then I wouldn’t worry about it. I personally spent time with the kids when they were at home and my husband helped with the HOUSEHOLD chores. The house was not just my job because (according to HIM) we all lived there and anyone capable of doing a job then they do it!
A stay at home mom should keep the house picked up and clean if both works full time jobs then the house is both to help with but if one only has part time work and other one is full time part time should do the most if the cleaning in my opinion
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If u don’t work and he does its your responsibility to do house work and take care of the children. I’m sure you don’t play with the kids all day. I’m sure u can do the house work and cook dinner and do laundry. Kids play by themselves all the time. I hate to say this but grow up
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You can spend a several hours
daily on housekeeping and spend most hours with your kids. It’s how time is managed. Children are almost a full time job especially babies and preschool kids. My mother-in-law said housekeeping, cooking and childcare was “woman’s work” however my husband understand while he worked 8-9 hours daily, my hours were much longer. He always helped and respected his mom’s ideas however, he was his own man and knew he needed to share the work and childcare.
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My husband works a full time job and he comes home and helps me cook & clean. ( even though I clean before he gets home but he helps do the dishes after we get done with dinner.) but no it’s definitely not a “women’s job” to clean 24/7.
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Yes, you should’ve been able to handle the cooking and cleaning most of the time.
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Taking care of the kids all day is a full time job, I guess it depends on ages. If they’re home all day, that’s a lot of work. I’m so tired of hearing it’s not, there is no breaks at all, even if they nap, you’re cleaning up messes from them, paying bills or probably doing something. I stay at home, work part time, and I do clean and cook, but my hubs and I do split these tasks too.
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I think the main thing the person working away from the house and entering into it wants is a feeling of being wanted, loved, appreciated, missed, and welcome. If he’s complaining about the other, it’s likely he feels like HIS OWN effort isn’t being appreciated. Sometimes mirroring back what the other person feels ends the discord. We all want to be loved/appreciated. You both do.
Momma’s boys don’t make the best husband’s. Make a choice, do u want to be his momma, or his wife? He needs to make a choice, too. Does he want a new mommy, or a wife that expects him to share responsibilities.
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If you dont work then more household chores should fall on you it’s not fair to your partner to work all day and instead of spending time with their kids when they get home they have to do chores mean while you’re spend you whole day with them…
I think most things should be done but not that he shouldn’t lift a finger . It’s his house and kids too . He can help out . Also, we all get days we don’t wanna do anything and or hangout with our kids . So a couple days of not super clean isn’t a problem .
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If you are a stay at home mum and your man goes to work then I agree with his mum, you should be able to balance playing with the kids and doing the chores
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I was a stay at home mum till my kids entered school,i made sure my kids where loved nurtured and yes i cooked and cleaned,he in turn helped after a 12 hr or more day with kids.
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I do but that’s my personal opinion and that’s how we work together as a team. If for some reason I don’t feel like it that particular day or I just can’t because I’m busy with appointments or whatever then he helps when he comes home. He will do dishes. Bathe the his daughter help with laundry. I’d say if your husband has no problem with it and you two are happy then brush it off and live your life. 
If you split up the chores it makes it easier on the whole household. And this may not be popular opinion but bathing, feeding, educating, entertaining, and all the other things you do with and for your children are also chores. So, if he claims that bringing home money is his only “chore” than I’d demand he hire extra help, or he can take on more household stuff.
What works for you and your husband is no business of anyone’s. You seem to care about your mother in laws opinion and that is a kind trait to have…but at the end of the day, it is your house…not hers. You will do what is best for you and yours. Strength and love:muscle:
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Put the shoe the other foot. Consider for a moment that you are the one going to work everyday to support your family while your husband stays home and plays with the kids. Would you think it was fair to work all day and then come home and clean house when your spouse was there all day ignoring the household responsibilities while hiding behind the excuse of “entertaining the kids” all day? I think not! Babysitters entertain kids; stay at home moms have a different role, and that includes taking care of the home. You are not the babysitter! Take pride in your blessing of being “able” to be a SAHM and take care of your home, or wear your husband’s shoes and get a job. Some women are not as lucky as you are, they have no choice but to work and keep up a house and kids all by themselves. Think before you complain, and be grateful for your blessings!
I have to say that if he works and you stay at home then yes. The kids don’t take all the time out if the day. You probably aren’t managing your time wisely. There is plenty of time for you to do your chores and tend to your kids. I’m sure you wouldn’t appreciate comming home to a dirty home and no food after being at work all day. Put yourself in his shoes. Ignore the mother in law but yeah repriortize your time
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I work full time and take care of my house and kids. When not working I’m chauffeuring to extra curricular activities, doctor appointments, and to and from school. I grocery shop, take care of the dog, and any of the outside work as best as I can. It all gets done by me.
It’s nobody’s inherent job to do anything, if you want something to be done, do it.
Sure you can make agreements to assigned household jobs between one another, but doing so based on nothing but assumed typical gender roles is nothing more than having your relationship dictated by nonsensical traditions from times we’ve long since grown out of as a society.
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If your a sahm yes but on his days off it should be you both doing things
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No. I am 60 yrs old man and I work and I helped raise my 3 boys and currently take care of a 13 yrs old autistic child when I’m at home. I cook clean etc…in this day and age it takes two to raise a family
Well if your a stay at home mom I would say the majority of the housework should fall on you. But it doesn’t mean that he shouldn’t help. He isn’t helpless. It takes two to make and raise a family
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It’s no one’s specific job. When you live together you do the best you can to help each other out and lighten the load. Sometimes people are better at some tasks than others but you still pull your weight and some when you have children
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if you do not work outside the home, the home is your job…yes nurturing your children is very important but that includes showing them how to take care of their things and their home…
Nothing wrong with giving the kids some chores from an early age as they can. Dishes making bed, cleaningwindows as age appropriate. Yes boys should do all the above. Showing them how, monitoring and enforcing is far more important than just entertaining them. In mom’s defense she probably did all the housework and her baby boy never helped.
If you are not working Yes you can take care of the kids and have a clean house. If you are also working outside the home he need to do his part and clean up and taking care of the kids.
After being both a sahm and working full time, I can tell you it completely depends on who you live with. If you clean the house and then tidy up as you go, you’ll find that there isn’t much housework to do, it takes 5 mins to clean dishes after breakfast/lunch. Getting kids to help tidy up after themselves will help set them up for keeping their own place clean. Once toys are tidied. It takes a couple of minutes to swing a hoover round. The big issue is when your all at home, if your partner doesn’t lift a finger when home, then you’ll have issues, you should both be sharing housework that appears when your both at home. If it’s all left for the next morning then you’ll wake feeling overwhelmed, you’ll have no motivation to spend the first hour or two of your day cleaning when the kids also want your attention. Then that sets you into a cycle of bare minimum housework, a messy house and a constant feeling of failure, constantly feeling like it’s too much. You need to find the balance that’s right for you. If your partner is going to work leaving a clean house, he should return to a clean house, if he’s leaving it a mess from the evening. He should expect that mess to still be there. It’s all give and take, as a sahm, your working day doesnt end so why should his?
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Just ask yourself if you were working all day would you like to come home to more work? Both me and my partner work fulltime so we share the household jobs but if it was just him working I would do the bulk of it and I would expect vice visa if he was SAHD 50/50 goes along way. Kids and cleaning while your blasting sounds or watching Dr Phil sounds like a dream work day to me 
My man works a lot of 12 hour shifts and sometimes 7 days a week.
I take care of the house inside and out. I cook, pack his lunch, go through a checklist before he leaves and ask if there’s anything specific he wants done. I also take care of the maintenance on our cars, keep gas in them oil change etc. Yes he pays for it but I take them.
We both work I clean he cooks when I worked less I did more. If not working I did it all. I had 1 of my own and 3 extra I had all the time in my care. I loved staying home my house was always spotless now I never have time.
If your kids can play they can clean. Pick up the floor. Teach them how to clean up. A man who has worked all day shouldn’t come home to a messy house and toys everywhere. His day was already that.
Think of the situation this way he goes and works hard all day so you can be home with your kids and so your family is provided for. I think if you are staying home maybe you can structure your day so you can do all of it and still have time for the kids. Time management is helpful in these situations.
You don’t have to be good enough for her, just good enough for him, also I don’t think kids look back with joy cos their mum had the cleanest floors, but they look back with joy on who had a mum that spent time with them, let them have a cubby under the table and who laughed with them
Time with your children is the most important thing just ignore your mother in law, I am 80 and am glad daughter in law took time to put the children first ,if mother in law feels that way suggest she comes and cooks a meal (ha) you’re a good mum, ignore her.
You should have a housekeeper and enough time to enjoy your family 
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I honestly feel it depends on you guys dont have your mother in law ruin something that you guys talked about and are comfortable with. My mom is her 60s and she tells me dont get the man to comfortable with me doing the stuff for them cause you never know what can happen and theyre stuck not knowing how to do things. So what i at least have him do is take the trash out and pick after himself and on his day off i have him wash some dishes trash and cook and i do nothing. Also I feel the children should always come first so who care if somethings arent clean as long as you know in the end of the day you took great care of the kids and they had fun thats all should matter
Because of mil, i had depression. Once she came complaining my toilet is dirty, i for once answered her, if its dirty, then u should help clean. Its your son’s hse, so u should help clean when u see anything dirty. I was out of depression after that. Her jaw almost dropped!
Ño you should not do it all . He can help out. It’s your marriage not hers. If hubby wants more time with you . Then he can help. Plus you have kids that’s an all day job . Wives seem to lack off on keeping their selves looking pretty then hubby complains u look bad. OUT HE GOES. Mom needs to shut her mouth. Men need to help out. They are a loving team
Why does her opinion matter? Are you living in her home? Is she paying the bills?
Kids physical and emotional needs should come first. Chores can be done when kids are content or napping. Dad can take the kids while you prepare dinner. Or, he can prepare dinner while you supervise the kids. One can take the kids while the other cleans up. One can bathe kids while the other finishes up any household tasks. Bedtime can be shared or alternated. Both should be free to do as they wish after. Each should get a night off each week after dinner/clean up are completed. Neither should be left exhausted and with no free time.
If both parents work during the day, everything should be shared equally. If you tag team parent, (working opposite shifts) duties can be shared based on who has more free time. (Such as if kids go to bed early, the evening parent would take on more duties, or if the kids napped a lot or slept in during the day and stayed up later, the day parent would take on more duties.)
It’s all about being a team, and making sure everyone’s physical and mental needs are met. Kids should not be left screaming all day while a parent prioritizes mopping the floors so the breadwinner doesn’t have to lift a finger around the house. And at the same time, the breadwinner shouldn’t be busy up until bedtime because the other parent watches TV while the kid naps.
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Your not good enough for that woman.She didn’t choose you to spend her life with. She has an opinion and for her it is correct. You don’t live her life so you can’t possibly live it like her. Your the only one that has to live your life and as long as your ok with how your life is and your husband is OK with how your home life is NO one else’s opinion matters.
Time is the only commodity you really have so spend it how you like. Dishes and an untidy house will wait. Kids grow into themselves more and more each day. Leave the dishes and read a story. Leave the sweeping and play a game. The kids go to bed maybe you get to some of it maybe you don’t. It all gets done eventually. SAHM for the last 20 years. Kids grow up and I wonder where the time went. Did I love them enough? Do they really know it? Did we make enough happy memories? Did we explore together enough? But me personally I would much rather be outside than inside cleaning.
My husband and I both work full time jobs, I work from home 40 hrs a week he works out of the home. I also care for my child while working as she’s home with me. I do shoulder most of the housework and all of the cooking, but he isn’t a stranger to doing what needs to be done. If your husband has no issues with your home then screw what she thinks. She don’t live there. Everyone’s family dynamic is unique and no one can tell you what’s normal and what’s not. You do you and talk to your husband and let him know what his mother says bothers you. He sh put her in her place and kindly let her know how he feels about your home and your family.
I don’t agree that he shouldn’t lift a finger in the evenings and weekends as he could, but during the working week he is working full time and has the added pressure of your family’s financial responsibilities on his shoulders which can be a very heavy and stressful burden. The least you could do is keep the house maintained during the day, especially if it’s mess created during the day by you and the children. It’s not difficult to engage the children in helping to cook and clean either as they are valuable life skills. A part of successfully raising a family is ensuring you have a roof over your head, food in the fridge and clothes on their back, its a partnership that requires co-operation between you and your partner, if you’re not able to compromise you’re going to constantly be disappointed.