I was a stay at home mom for years and always felt my job was caring for kids and the home. So, cooking and cleaning was part of it.
Do you work? Not being mean but I work full time. My husband is off right now so he carries most of the weight but I do help. When you have kids it’s a split chore. Your mil shouldn’t make you feel bad. You and your husband must decide. If he’s okay don’t let her interfere
Being a stay at home mum is a full time job,and often far more exhausting than going to work in a paid position,you also deserve to have breaks and days off,it’s a joint commitment,and your husband is also responsible to participate in household duties,kids eventually grow up, and move on,better they be happy than resent you,
As a SAHM to 3 kids. I choose not to go back to work. With staying home, I also choose to keep the house clean, organized, laundry folded, food in the pantry and a warm home-cooked meal when my husband gets home. Not because it’s expected of me, but because he deserves it. My husband deserves the world, he works while I get to stay home and the least I could do are these things for him, which benefit our whole family.
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If I’m not working and my spouse is, I will do the chores around the house. And it should be vise versa. But both of us working full time? We split that shit.
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I’m staying at home right now and I take responsibility of the chores. I do get mad when he doesn’t fix things that I want fixed but if he’s working and I’m at home I feel like it is my job to take care of the home. I understand you’re tired with the kids and they are a lot of work but maybe better routines or structure would help.
When our first 6 children were young, each child had one chore that helped contribute to a clean home when dad came home. Of course it was something they could do.
Yes …i m a working woman
Doing full time job 10 hours
Having 4 daughters with
Husband and father in law also .
I cater husband his father n kids at home by all means …thy always find washed pressed clothes ,fresh breakfast to dinner ,n other things .
They never did a single thing …
I have a helper for house chores who helped me in kitchen etc …
I hope if woman s staying at home she can manage every thing in 2 hours n thn spend all day with kids…
It’s not 1950…. Today’s society takes both husband and wife to work full time. It’s expensive to live. We both shared all the responsibilities. Mom needs to stay in her lane.
Times have changed since she raised your husband.
Basically if your not working out of the house… yes it is mainly your responsibility to take care of the house and children. Sure when hubby is home and has time you can get him to help do some stuff too. And he shouldn’t be going out of his way to make is messier for you etc. if you are both working… then it is a fully shared job/chore
Cleaning and Scrubbing can wait till tomorrow, for Children grow up, we’ve learned to our sorrow. So quiet down cobwebs, dust go to sleep. I’m Rocking My Baby, and Babies don’t keep.
Me and my wife have been together for 14 years married for 8. I have to have things a certain way and I don’t like clutter. Over the years I’ve learned that there are things she doesn’t do and things she does do. So we have an unspoken agreement . She helps the kids with their homework, she makes sure they take care of their hygiene, she makes breakfast,lunch, And we all make dinner together. I do the laundry, vacuum, yard work, take care of the cars. We have a joint bank account so She takes care of the bills, I do our health insurance. So just over time we’ve both split the duties. I think that if you love eachother you will notice over time what your spouse doesn’t like to do or doesn’t have time to, and you just do whatever you can to help eachother . I actuality don’t mind cooking or cleaning. As long as I can see a smile and a look of relief on my wife’s face when she realizes she can take a break and doesn’t have to try as hard then it is all worth making sure you are helping . Most spouses will suffer in silence bc they think it’s their “DUTY” as a husband or wife to do certain things. That’s bologna and always has been.
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You must first accept what your roles are as a mother and as a wife. If you can do your part as a mother, then you should also be able to do your part as a wife. Yes, it is not easy. Nothing is easy. But that is the life you have chosen. Now, if all you can do is be a mother, it’s better that you just leave your husband to others. Let others do, everything you can’t do for him.
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Invite her to come over and do it for you, after all, it’s her worry, not yours. Tell her how much he loves her cooking and really misses it. She would be a big help in the kitchen, while you catch up on the laundry. 4 hands are better than 1, and she can spend more time getting to know her grandkids. 
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I was a stay home Mom for 9 years w/ 3 kids I had twins too did it all! Then when I went back too work I still did it all except certain things. My husband puts in long I mean long hours I work at an outside job 30 hours a week. You do what works for you me I like a clean house 
I don’t think Mother in law should say anything & the next time she does she can come clean the dam house!
She is right in her mind and you are right in yours. Parenthood and housekeeping is difficult. I hate cleaning. I do it, but I hate it. My neighbor on the other hand seems to thrive and looks forward to all the housework. I think she is nuts especially when she gets on her knees weekly to wash the floor. We work together on the cleaning in our house.
My house maybe dusty but it’s tidy (except for the drop zone in the laundry room). If MIL doesn’t like it maybe ask her to pay for a twice a week maid service just to see her reaction.
I have been a stay at home mom and wife off and on for 21yrs to kids that are 14months apart…my kids are now 20&21 and can do for themselves…anyways…it’s ok to play with the kids, maybe let a little cleaning go every other day rotating chores, but not everything all the time…the main key is to figure out a workable cleaning schedule throughout the day that keeps your house neat while still giving your kids attention. There needs to be a happy medium…and all will end well!! Trust me!!
If you have small children you are lucky to load the dishwasher and consider that an accomplishment. Your mil has to stay out of it…you need support. Look for moms groups in your area.
Cooking and cleaning isn’t that hard when taking care of your own children. But no house with children is spotless, so I am confused at this so called “expectation of clean”. Does mommy dearest think it needs to run like some 50s tv show?
If you are a stay at home mam i think personally yes it should be done. I run our yard and do the care and upkeep of our 9 horses along with our other 11 animals i look after our children and i make sure we have good food and a clean house. Don’t get me wrong there are days when i have simply run our of time to do everything if one of the horses has decided to hose a great escape ect and those days hubby will give me a hand to have a quick whip around but i do believe that he needs to chill after work and be able to have time with the kids this is more important to me that him hoovering….
How is this not a conversation people have before havin children.
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Coming from a 30 year career that was supposedly 9-5 but ended up being an 80 hour work week every single week just to scrape by and a single parent of 2, I would have killed to just be able to stay home and devote all my time to my home & kids. Thankfully I no longer work but I homeschool & tend to my 2 granddaughters and my daughters home. Lovin life for the first time in a very, very long time. 
I work part time and my partner full time, I think its my responsibility to ensure the house and kids are sorted purely because he works alot more hours than i do (not because its a sexist role) i cook most of the meals but equally when its my working days he will cook and fill the gaps of what needs doing at home. Tbh its just team work. I would expect if i didn’t work at all to maintain the house and kids myself as my full time role.
I will tell you what my Grandma once said. You can all use the excuse I have kids all you want but it all falls on you. You stay home so you tend to the children meanwhile fitting in some cleaning here and there. Kids are not the excuse in why your house is a mess. So what did I do? I made a schedule to fit in the cleaning in between naps or down town like when a movie is playing. You can ask your man to pitch in here and there to make it less hectic. I’m not saying move all the furniture and everything just what can be seen like the floors especially with the whole Covid thing going you never know what you bring into your home with your shoes. Oh and just an FYI you will never be good enough for her so just be you if your relationship has worked with him helping then just smile and wave when she’s bitching
I stay at home and do a majority of the cleaning while my partner works BUT if he can see I’m struggling or I’m just tired he will step in and make dinner for everyone or clean the kitchen while I cook x
You will NEVER be good enough for her. As soon as you realize this and come to terms with it, and accept it, you will no longer be tired. The next time she says something, politely tell her this isn’t the 1950s and 1960s. It’s 2021. Its BOTH parents’ job to tend to the kids, work, and keep house. If she doesn’t like that response, tell her she’s a sexist bigot and you don’t believe it is healthy for her to be around your kids.
If you stay at home yes. Thats the fair thing. And i was a single mom and still cleaned my house and made time for my kids. And my hubs works full time and i dont maje him do chores since im not working. When i worked PT i asked him to help a little since it was my weekends too. Kids are important but so is cleaning and cooking healthy neals for them. Sounds like your selfish and a bit lazy.
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Me and my wife agreed should the house be spotless when she stays home with our kid no it doesn’t haven’t to be spotless but not as if a tornado ran through it all the time and dishes and vacuum is a shared thing now when all kids are in school it should be a little more but I’m not expecting her to do everything I will help clean its fun to do together
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My mum always said if the kids are happy the mess can wait
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The house can wait. The kids can’t. Love them while you can, because eventually they will move out, and the house chores will be there waiting.
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Well said Amanda,motherhood is a fulltime job esp.during early foundation.
It doesn’t take all day to cook and clean if you plan it out. Dinner doesn’t take more than 2 hours, if you can’t clean the whole house ,you clean the rooms he’ll see when he comes home, mainly the kitchen, bedroom and bathrooms. Do the rest another day, mom is right this time
My FIL asked me “what are you good for” because partner made his own coffee (I don’t drink hot drinks myself) I replied “Ive always wondered the same thing about you mate” 
safe to say he doesn’t say that crap to me any more and asks only his son for a cuppa 
. Your son was fine and alive before I got here he will be fine and alive if I don’t cook him a meal or clean the house or make a cuppa every dam day. Old school mentality I can’t stand it.
Whatever works for you and your husband is what’s right. It’s none of your mother-in-law’s business, ignore her.
If you’re a stay at home mom you can take care of your children AND make sure your house is clean and cook. He leaves everyday to work and should have a clean house and meals taken care of.
My husband thinks all things inside are mine to do and it are his. Only thing is he rarely does anything outside unless it’s something he wants to do and won’t do needed home repairs
So say you have 1 child, they are 2-3 years old…they don’t nap. What is that child supposed to do? Their attention span for independent play is almost zero. Your husband is gone for 10 hours. (Work and commute). You took care of your child for those 10 hours. Maybe you took them to the park, a doctors appointment. You fed them and dressed them. You may have been able to tidy the kitchen and do a load of laundry. Your husbands 10 hours are worth more than yours? I’m asking hypothetically, I had 2 children, 12 months apart and worked 30 hours from home, opposite shift from my husband. We shared our responsibilities and raising our children. I didn’t expect him to spend all of his time with the kids to be cleaning and he didn’t expect me to either.
I’ve been a working mom and stay at home and both are hard, but honestly while being a stay at home mom isn’t always easy, its a huge blessing. I see my man wake up early and come home late, I see how exhausted he can get and he just keeps on pushing for his family, that alone makes me want to push for my family as well. I clean the house everyday ( to each their own I just like my house clean all the time ) and cook everyday unless we agree to go out, also have a wild two year old who is constantly asking me to play. It’s all about balance. It’s completely manageable still get some things done and take care of the kids, if doesent need to be spotless. I have seen situations where a man works and his woman stays home and the house looks like an absolute pig sty and when I see that I cringe. But at the end of the day we were all raised different and if you are trying and not just living in a pig sty then yeah I do think he should say something to her if she is hurting your feelings. Some men are also reluctant to defend their wife to their mother which is a whole other conversation.
No we not in the 1950’s anymore.Spouses help each other out.
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There is NO better use of time than to spend it with the kids if thay go down for a nap yes get some jobs dune if not tuff .
He’s a big boy it won’t Hertfordshire him to help or even play with the kids so you can do dinner or he could cook??? Just saying 
Single parent here working and doing all household duties its a tough one but I think if your home all day with children and hubby/partners work all day out of the house I think its only fair you have the house clean I know I did when I was with my ex he always came home to a clean house when I wasn’t working 
Well first, to be fair, do you have a job? If not, then I don’t think it’s unfair to expect that you do some housework during the day.
My opinion is that a marriage should be a partnership with duties split as equitably as possible. And as we are living in a day and age where most families require two incomes to stay afloat, your MIL’s views might be outdated for most families. That being said, if you spend your entire day “playing with the kids,” I can’t really blame her for thinking you should do more. Playing isn’t work, and children aren’t really that difficult to entertain. That’s why the stereotypical housewives of the past did the housework and cooking too.
If you also work during the day, then no, it’s not right for her to expect you to do everything else yourself. But if you don’t have a job on top of taking care of the kids, vacuuming once a week and doing some light cleaning during the day doesn’t really seem too much to ask to me.
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We don’t have kids… but when I worked full time we did everything 50/50. If I threw clothes in the washer he’d move them to the dryer for me… if I cooked… he’d load the dishwasher and box up all the leftovers… we’d put on a show and fold clothes together… unload the dishwasher together after work… then I went part time (3 days a week) and I don’t expect him to do as much around the house as me because I have 2 free days that he doesn’t. But he still steps up and helps me all the time.
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You have to do whatever works for you as a couple. As for me, I believe in roles, his is to work and bring home the bacon and mine is to take care of the house, kids and my husband. The ideal husband volunteers to help out whenever possible bc a woman’s job is never done unlike his 9 to 5@. Remember men, “Happy wife, happy life”. Appreciate each other for their roles.
Yes it may be a womans job when she gets MARRIED to clean the house and make it pretty and cook all the meals and what law dose that come under. Now a. Man can get up and go to work and yes he might work hard wheres. The law that he cant help around the house he. Takes his clothes off and throws them on the floor and accepts h IU s w IUI fe to pick them up she has cleaned all day done the washing and hung the clothes and took them. And put them away took care of the children and fixed dinner and washed the dishes and put the kids to bed and then she gets her self ready for bed and shes tried to but the old man all he can think of is himself and his needs like come here honey and let’s have sex and she is so tried but she gives in and later he goes to sleep and they say a women work is never done but a man can go to w ok to and set around. Chew the fat with his coworkers. And act like hes tried as hell to bad us women. Cant act like that grant it sonen do work hard a day and so do women that work out SIDE the home but get real we l have a job to do now this right
To a point. Both live there, both are responsible for the cooking and cleaning. Both are responsible for the kids and bills. If he’s the only one working then she should at least cook dinner and both clean. I’m 62 and was raised taking care of the home and children. Later on I think both are responsible for the home
Best advise I ever got was my child will remember me playing with them but not a clean house!!!
That’s slavery😅 Doing dishes and cleaning the house is a responsibility of both men/women. Things only vary depwnding on the set up.
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If your man works and supports you and the kids. You should work at home cleaning, cooking, laundry etc. That’s what women do when they really love and support their mate. Teach the kids to help. Responsibility should be taught at an early age.
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Well I am that generation and I would hope that if my son chose a woman to marry, and I disrespected her, in any way, but especially what kind of marriage I chose… and do it repeatedly That he would put me in my place!!
My dad was in his 80’s telling us I was a bad mother because my son had school work concerns, and my son spoke up and told that I was a good mother & he wasn’t going to listen to him say that!
So talk to your husband to see if he agrees with the MIL, and if not that if he doesn’t speak up when she says these antiquated opinions about marriage roles, between you,which is non of her business, then you will. She needs to respect the relationship and how you and he see the roles in YOUR marriage. They may not be the same as she had in hers but that ok, and while in your home she will need to respect your marriage & stay out of it!
First of all it’s 50/50 everyone situations different in your case your home you should be cooking and cleaning not just for your husband for your kids cause they come first gunna keep it simple relationship should be equal cause your accustomed
I’m at home with my baby and husband works. I do my best to stay on top laundry, cleaning etc. But my child is the priority. The reason I don’t work is because child care is my job now. It is a struggle being a mum and housewife. I use the time that my husband has with baby to catch up on house work. Not much time for taking a break, but I am happier when the work is done. Sometimes I will just stay up later than normal to catch up, or ease the workload for the next day. A lot of the housework is going to be your responsibility, but nobody should be judging you for putting your children first.
MIL obviously grew up during a time where children were seen and not heard.
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Only my opinion! You need to be as nice to your mil as possible. But since you are a mom you don’t have to let her opinion control you. You are fine. Your husband chose you.
I think being with your kids, doing fun stuff is preferable to a well run house if that makes you happy. No one has the right to expect you to please them o’er your own self.
If you’re home all day with the children then your priority is taking care of your children. However, there’s no reason that you cannot do the dishes, vacuum or clean while you’re home with them. He can help with the kids and house when he gets home. She is of an older generation where if the wife was at home they handled all of the household responsibilities and the children. You’re not wrong and she’s not wrong.
Part of caring for your children is feeding them healthy food and them living in a clean environment. Is it the man’s responsibility to work all day to support his family and then come home and cook and clean? When does he get a break? Work as a team and share the evening chores together. So much fun to get the little ones fed, bathed, help with homework or whatever your family does but together.
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Both adults help with the house! Then as kids get older they can help here and their for pocket money it’s how my sis and I were raised but unfortunately my parents came from the time of the wife will have dinner ready at 7 for the man’s return home 
but my mum told me to not ever let a man treat me this way because it was wrong but god forbid if she ever asked my dad to help or didn’t get dinner on time but as we got older she stopped letting the old ways rule their relationship which lead to a lot of issues here and their but my fiancé and I help each other with the house stuff
He works and I watch over our son who some days is clingy other days I can do dishes and/or laundry or I feel like crap so I just play with our son but I’m never made to feel guilty for it
I hope you don’t let her get into your head you are doing a great job
Shivers! I wasn’t going to add my two cents worth but after reading the comments.1.talk to your hubby! He’s your partner in life! What does he need /want? Tell your mum in law it’s a different time now. Your kids need strong attachment, good verbal abilities, love of reading, good social skills! Back when she was a mum kids just had to be toilet trained to go to school to do well in life. Kids need way more now if they are going to succeed as happy individuals. But! If your hubby can’t cope with the mess /chaos/ dirt either deal with some of it or get a cleaner!! I wouldn’t want to work all day and then come home to dishes…
My man works, as I do too. He helps me every day. And on weekends.
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Since my daughter was born 2 months early and then covid hit so my husband’s other daughter was forced to be remote for school, I became a stay at home mom. It is rare that he cooks or cleans but it has happened here and there. I don’t really get judged for it much besides from him once or twice because there has been days where I just didn’t find the time to fold the laundry or do the dishes. I have about and hour or 2 to get majority of cleaning done along with work out (I’ve been trying to run for about 10 min at least). My daughter is 18 months and is into everything. She gets pissed when I have to cook supper and sometimes is at my feet but he’s not always home yet to distract. That he does do. Usually the house is clean to an extent besides toys on the ground 
my mother in law passed before we got married so she never got to experience me home as a wife and mother. The worst I got from her is that she didn’t want him to get married because he already had a kid so that would make me stepmom and she didn’t like the mix of families like that. Well our explanation was simply we love each other so that’s that.
screw what she thinks, don’t give her that power!!! your relationship is between you and your husband, not her!!!
Mom, enjoy your children. They will be grown before you know it and that time will be gone.
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It’s none of her business. In laws are a huge factor in the high divorce rate.
Of course you should be doing it. You are extremely lucky to have someone working to provide for you and your children. Spend time with your kids while teaching them how to tidy up after themselves. It’s not a sexist issue, it is an issue if you being at home all day so basic household chores should be done. I do the majority of mine before I go to work at 8am so it doesn’t need to take a lot of time if you keep on top of it
To whom are you married ?? Him or his mother… ur children whilst young are precious so make memories then teach ur kids how to clean do dishes make it fun
Honestly as a mother of 5 it’s not hard to do both, you choose not too. No I’m not judging I’m just saying it is possible
It’s not about her , you are there for your husband . I in living with no in- laws
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What matters is your arrangement with your husband. If your a good with it, if not talk about it. Don’t worry about her.
Back in our times (cause this new change of world have lost all that), we used to keep the house clean do our chores while Husband was working…have a dinner ready for him… But now! The husbands gets home first to a cold house nothing on the stove, where’s the wife? Out with the girls , leaves a note hon, cook u something there’s some stuff in the FREEZER! 
I’II be hone in a little bit. House be like it was when he left this morn. OHH AND THIS NEWLY GUYS WILL EVENTUALLY GET ADOPTED TO THOSE WAYS, BUT OHH WELL THEY GOT A WOMAN! That’s all they got! So many like that out there:partying_face:
You last sentence should answer your question. You should feel good enough for your husband not his mother. You should allow God to guide your life do what you think is right for you and your family. The children need the love and care to gain thr confidence of today’s challenging world.
Regardless who is at home, if your home you need to take care of your responsibilities wether that be wash dishes, take out the rubbish change a diaper, play with children. You’re an adult so act like it.
I had a not so nice mother-in-law….when she found out she couldn’t control me….well let’s just say I wasn’t her favorite person! Don’t let her get you down…no matter what you do to try and please her…it will not happen…you be you…love your kids…spend time with them….they grow up so fast….the housework will be there long after they are grown and gone. Also when you are doing the housework…include them…they need to learn and you can make it fun!
That’s something you need to work out with your husband. Whatever works for the two of you.
If you don’t have a job outside the house yes you should clean up and make dinner etc. It’s different if you both work. Kids don’t need to be played with all day every day they can occupy themselves for a little while while you pick up or do a load of laundry or make dinner. I work full time and so does my so. But I would be pissed if I worked all day and came home to nothing done every day when my so was home all of the time. I was also a stay at home mom for two years so I was on the other end of it.
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Did you marry her or her son. If the latter, you might want to ask him what he thinks. Sort that shit out.
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No that is not right. Your children are very important part of your job. The two of you brought them in to this world. So you must take of them also. They are very lucky to have a mother who can stay at home with them. The whole world would be better off if all mothers could be at home. Yes the house and home chores need to be done also but they should after your children. If you have a happy home don’t let her get in the middle of your marriage. That is between you and your husband.NOT YOUR MOTHER IN LAW. JUST let her talk
You keep doing what makes your husband and family happy. 
Be true to yourself. Don’t listen to what other people think, because if you do listen to them you will drive yourself crazy.
I would continue doing as you are. Evidently your husband is happy with the way things are. As for your mother in law, if I were you, I would laugh. Then I would tell her to feel free anytime to stop by and clean. Ask if she also does windows! Lol. In other words F#$k her and her opinion!
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Your not married to that woman . It’s your husband your children your life and if not then should be your house . As long as you and your family is happy live your life’s like you want
Your responsibilities and share of chores is between you and your mate. Work it out if you haven’t already. Not his Mom’s and not the social media crowd’s business
He is doing a full time job and so are you. Running a home takes 2. Raising a family is a huge job. Keep up the good work.
Hell, I’m in my sixties and this is bullshit. Kids first. A spotless house isn’t a happy family’s home. MIL’s gender roles are stuck in her grandma’s era.
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If your husband told you that his Mother said “ you are not wife material “ he should be ashamed of himself
If u have luxury of not having to work outside home then yes but if you work outside of home then split 50/50 my feelings…Thats the way. I roll…
It’s not a gender role, but the one with the less demanding work should pick up the household chores. It all depends how demanding your children are. Some people have it easier, while others have children with special needs. In the end, it’s what works for your family, not what others think.
Honestly if it a 2 working parent household, chores should be split. If one stays home, then yes they should be doing most of the cleaning (not all). Days off from work should be split. Just my opinion.
If you’re not working a full time job then yes. If you are working full time as well, find a way to divide the labor. Makes sure the kitchen, bath and living areas are picked up.
Um, you should both be doing what you can for the house and family, and I’m just curious as to why you can’t multitask. Some of these jobs wouldn’t take long but it would be good if you could make them fun for the kids to be a part of it. Eg A child can sit watching you do the dishes or cook, learning at the same time… and you can talk or sing or watch something together.
Even stay at home mums need a break. If they say they don’t, and should be able to have a 1950’s magazine image styled home, then they’re either freaks of nature, on speed or some other physical boosting drug or liars. And your MIL, if she is one of those, probably has dementia to boot and has forgotten how difficult it can be. 
. I’ve been a stay at home mum when on Mat. leave after each child, then went back to work after 7 months and longer. I had a relative (who stopped paid employment at 19 when she got married) and SIL who were judgy coz I too preferred to spend time with my kids than keeping the house perfect, all chores done - 100% of the time my husband came home from work . If HE didn’t have it spotless when I came home - I wasn’t some unrealistic judgy hoohaa to him. It was always A kiss, hug and what can I do to help was all there was. And that’s what he did with me also- coz he is realistic. As long as my kids had clean clothes everyday, 3 meals a day and were happy every/ most days and their emotional needs being met instead of thinking ‘Mummy prefers to spend time cleaning the house than with me’- then that was far more important to me than what anyone thought. When my SIL finally had kids she came to realise as a SAHM alone it was hard work and never was judgemental again. My relative- well it took her 10 years to finally realize a 2 parent income is needed to support 2 or more kids. Not like back in the late 1950’s and 60’s which I think she was stuck in:thinking:. But I was still the black sheep for daring to continue working after my 1st child. Who cares? 
I gave up worrying about what others thought and focussed on what is important- my family- partner and kids and 2 fingers to anyone else who thinks having a perfect house rather than a home, it is more important than a relationship with them.
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No it is the group effort who made the mess so it should be the group effort who cleans the mess
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I’m in that age group and what she is saying is from my mother’s and grandmother time
In my house, I do all the cleaning, cooking, laundry, dishes, and play with my daughter. It was how I was brought up.
Oh, my wife is a stay at home mom. She will spend time with our daughter whenever I’m doing the chores.
You suggested you’re playing with and occupying the children takes all your time. But, I believe, children need to learn to occupy their selves and become independent.Take 15 minutes here and there through the day to get what you can done. I expected my husband too help with the kids after unwind time in the evening while I finish /prepare dinner. Or, vice versa. But, both of you deserve relaxed time.
How about we sit down and chat with our partners about what we need, want, and will do from/for them? Communication only works if we actually do it and each party listens.
Your mother-in-laws age is not a factor here. It is apparent that she is still unhappy with being replaced in her son’s affection. Mama is not first anymore so play with kids and remember housework is never finished, but your children grow up and leave in the twinkle of an eye.
Yes if he is out working for your family why can’t you clean and look after kids
I feel the major problem is the mother in law needs to stay out of their business. The husband should tell his mother this is the way it is, he is fine with it so leave his wife alone!
My husband used to like coming home to a clean house and cooked meal everyday. I managed it and still squeezed the kids in too. But eventually I had a breakdown with three kids and rushing around to fit everything in and not sleeping cos I couldn’t switch off.
So no she’s not right at all!
If he’s working all day then yes the house should be tended to if you are home is that your “job” no! does it make u a bad woman no!but it is respect if he’s at work to be able to come home to dinner and a clean place
I believe your right you got a full time job too raising your children the house chores should be shared if you can’t take care of them in the day shouldn’t be a issue
oh fuck her right off! does she live in your house? if not ask her to only come when being invited as you two don’t see eye to eye and you aont having her in your hoise slashing u off and stressing you out all day! fuck her right off. and tell him to fuck off or man up to, this ain’t a sitcom it’s real life, parents need to know thier boundaries when your all grown ass adults. if he starts on you fuck him off too, life is far to short to be running around trying to please everyone. fuck em