I understand both sides. So when do you get a break? That my question.
There’s definitely a pressure to do it all because he’s working all day and that means I need to work too, but he should understand it’s not easy doing it all either. Gotta create balance. If I only had five kids I could do it all no problem tho.
Whats the agreement with your husband? This is something to discuss with him and only him. My wife stays home with the kids, she does more cleaning than i do, the kids help as well. We both cook… i think if you are home a small part of the day should be spent on the betterment of the home. Just like on my days off i spend some time on the house and the rest on the family.
If you don’t work I feel it is your job. But if you also work you should both take turns
⁶yes I think if you would want things done right, and also clean, that you can make this happen at home, you are there all day, the children must take a nap, so at that time you can be doing other things that needs to be done, I do agree thats your husband’s should help if he can on a day off and wanted to help, but again a good husband or man see where he needs to step in and help in his home should, this is a team work, not this is your job ,and this is my job no ,you become as one you work as one ,step in where you may need to help, and take other time for yourself to be together , I love you both in the name of Jesus, work this out, because if you don’t and his mom step in complaining will turn into a mess,let’s mom keep out of this, and you and your husband learn too work together in everything, and keep other out of your business
Im with your mother in law 100%
I cannot stand women who use their kids as an excuse.
(Unless your kid is disabled/handicapped and requires around the clock special care.)
Your husband doesn’t say anything to her because he is most likely thinking the same exact thing!
Either do all of the mentioned above, or get a job and go to work every for yourself.
Then you can pay to have someone else do them dishes…
Maybe not everyday, but you should also be able to find time to squeak in a few of the household tasks during the week that the house stays in reasonably good shape.
BS…taking care of kids takes priority. I would try & do it all plus work & I wondered why I got tired?
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Girl just get things done an hour or 2 before he comes home from work. I’m a stay at home mom and I just clean as I go all day but I just started to clean after the kids are in their room watching a movie before bed. (He works 2nd shift)
Doesn’t matter what your mother-in-law thinks, only what you and your husband think. If your current arrangement seems fair within your relationship, that’s what matters.
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Why do you care what she thinks anyways? It’s YOUR marriage, your Family, your house … I think the only persons opinion you should care about is your husbands
She needs to be told to shut the f*ck. No wonder stay at home mums fall to depression. These early development years are important for kids, in terms of learning and connecting.
Poor darling has to come home and help nawww.
I’m 69, if both husband and wife work, they need to share the work load at home, whether it is caring for the kids, house work, errands or cooking etc. This way you have time to relax and enjoy each other and life ingeneral. Your mother in law needs to get over it.
I think, people are turning this into a sexist issue. It’s not about male and female roles. It’s about the fact, one of them, works outside the home, the other’s job is just as important but it is to work at home. Yes that includes the cooking and cleaning. It’s like I used to tell my child, when he was in school. Consider the teacher, your employer, that is your job, some bosses you will like, some you won’t. It seems she is expecting that her only job is to play with the kids and he should come home and cook and clean.
I help my wife do house work and cook you work as a team together has a husband it is part of life
I have been a stay at home mum for alot of years i like to cook and clean and look after the kids and my partner he does work hard but he also loves to cook my only hate is when I’ve been cleaning all day and cooking they disrespect the house or kitchen by not picking up after themselves just remind your husband that you don’t get paid for doing your job thats what I tell mine and I will go of
My 4 kids are all grown up now and I wish I would have spent less time worrying about the house and more time playing with them. Your MIL is toxic and you need to put your foot down. Life’s too short and kids are only little for such a small amount of time…
We split the chores but since he’s been ill I take on most of the responsibilities
Kids are more important. Are they going to remember how clean the house was or the good memories they will carry with them into adulthood.
If you worked all day while he hung out and enjoyed your children, how would you feel about dragging yourself in from 10 hours of stressful work to prepare dinner and clean house?
There is no right answer, it depends on what works for you and your partner.
My mom did all the “traditional” wifey things and still found time to spend with us three kids. It sounds like a time management problem to me.
It’s not your mother in laws place to decide who is wife material. Her son decided you were wife material when he married you and I wouldn’t hesitate to remind her if that. He shouldn’t be lettering her badmouth you either. If you’re staying home and your husband is working outside the home I would be doing more of the housework than he does
Well now I brought 2 boys on my own done everything plus went work while the wer at school and the boys also played sport etc still managed to ave the housework done everyday it’s not hard to ave a routine and still go out to do other stuff
Yes, you should. If we work for 8-12 hours a day, all should be handled. Your home should be all good
Why does she have any say in how your house is run. Does she live there or something 
Sixties is no that old that she can not change her ways. I bet at any age she was stubborn and set in her ways - the issue is she is a controlling jackass and you married a weak mamas boy.
We are human beings with feelings. We arnt house maids. It should be a joint effort. This isn’t the 1950s.
When she speak up about YOUR life advise her to take care of her own problems and you will take care of yours.
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If u stay at home I think so most the new age women don’t do that like the old schools do
I take care of my home while he’s working but if something needs fixed that I can’t do he does no questions asked
If both parents work, then the house and kids is 50/50. But of the Mum works at home looking after the kids then the housework should be mainly her job, but with help from hubby too.
When you want her opinion you’ll remove the duct tape
absolutely,you dont work…he does…you have all day,to do what?? just play with the kids ?? not !!..stay home Mom cleans house,cooks, and take care of the kids,THAT IS YOUR JOB !!
Look my husband pays the bills and still happily offers to help with the kids and chores. You’re a team, you do what works for you. If he won’t say anything to his mother it’s either because he’s a coward or he agrees with her. Get to the bottom of it. Tell her she is not welcome in your home if she wants to open her got damn mouth again about the situation. Simple as that. Take no shit. Not from your husband or his momma
Stop worrying about your mother in law or what anyone else thinks. Sit down with your husband and talk with him about what makes the two of you happy. Not what makes anyone else happy. I worked full time many years and cleaned the house and took the kids everywhere for classes or games ;while my husband work days and went to night school. We both worked together. Once you sit what your and your husband decides make you two happy; you got this. Then just explain; to anyone who has a opinion that; you the two of us talked and this is what we decided together that makes us happy and we are going to stick to it. That shows them a united front. He can’t control his parents like your can’t control your parent. So stop trying. Do what makes you two happy. Now my husband is retired. I still like to work. So I work but on the days I work he cooks and clean. I have never had to ask him to do that. He just saw the need and jumps in. This makes us both happy. You can get there. Just talk about it.
When the kids have a nap or are on iPad then yes you should do the housework, you cook for your kids so cool for him to, on the weekends or when he’s home tell him to lend a hand simples.
Absolutely not… being a stay at home mom is a full time job… he should help with all household chores…
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Yeah balance playing with a cleaned up house …your kids need to see a parent doing it weather it’s u or ur husband…ignore ur mil
If you don’t want to clean, maybe YOU can get a full time job and your husband can stay home and take care of kids and house?
Has nobody asked how old the kids are? I think has to be a factor here. 2 toddlers is different than 2 preteens imo
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I suppose that depends, if you work as a janitor or a chef…yes
You can do dishes when they nap if they are older then ask them to dry while you wash I did everything while they slept or I cleaned when they went out to play in the yard
should be a shared responsibility! No it is not a woman’s job to cook clean.
There should be no question about this if your man is out making a living to pay for your place to live putting food on the table absolutely do your part husband can play with the kids after dinner while you wash dishes it doesn’t take long to vacuum if you keep up doesn’t take long to do daily chores then the rest of the day play with the kids if kids are in school then there is no excuse teach the kids to clean up behind themselves at a young age
Tell your MIL to shove it where the sun don’t shine. I’ve done it all to please mine. And she still doesn’t like me cause I took her baby away from her.
You do you and its between you and your husband.
The only thing my man does is work and make money he does absolutely nothing else
There’s more to a house than laundry and dishes. My husband works and I stay home. He doesn’t demand the house to always be clean because he’s not a dick. I do the cleaning and 99% of the cooking, grocery shopping, laundry, bill pay, pet care, children’s doctors appointments, etc. but my husband fixes things when they break, fixes the vehicles, mows the lawn, takes care of the property outside (we live on 10 acres) and goes to work 45-50 hours a week. He rarely ever stops. So there should be a balance that works for you two, who cares what an outside party thinks of it.
If you are home with the children and he is working, yes, the house should be clean a dinner being prepared when he coming home. He can help with dishes and putting children to bed. On weekends the house is shared with him helping.
Babys grow up to fast spend time with them and love them the house chores can wait i usually do cleaning at night when there in bed or i do it while there watch tv or there tablets but i can never mop with them up because one always has to go pee so bad as soon as im done mopping lol
I’m a stay at home mom and my fiance works 5-6 days a week full time and he cooks dinner. I take care of the kids and I clean and take care of all financial and medical stuff. If all you do is sit home with the kids you should at least make it so he can come home to a clean house. Maybe alternate cooking.
If you stay home all day why don’t you have time to take care of the house? Sounds like laziness to me
She needs to butt out. Her opinion means nothing.
My take is whoever is in better health should do more.
If staying at home with children is not a job in itself, why would you have to pay someone else to do it??
In the modern world it’s equality and guys can help out it’s what works for you and your partner. Ignore comments from his mother and enjoy your life
If your man has a hard blue collar job and you are home all day then yes if he is paying all the bills.
Believe me no! Woman is good enuf for some mens mothers 5hay should butt out and let him grow up
Boundaries. It’s none of her business.
If your husband is running to his mom to tattle on you, that’s how she’s getting the information and forming her opinion. Otherwise, how would she know how you conduct yourself on a daily basis?
If you are having these conversations with her then you are welcoming her opinion and will subject yourself to questioning everything you decide to do based on what she thinks.
Don’t.
If she is drawing these conclusions while visiting your home, stop letting her in your home.
Some people do not deserve the positions we let them have in our lives, or we allow society or culture determine who has what position in our lives.
Family is not always well behaved. Some family members you have to keep at arm’s length or avoid completely.
Your mother in law is being incredibly disrespectful, is meddling in your affairs where she has no business being. I call it taking a territorial pissing in your yard, or not staying in their lane. Don’t let her past your gate or get on the road with her if she’s going to have no regard for your rights to make decisions for your family, your home. Those decisions are between you and your husband, not between her and your husband.
Your home, your kids, your marriage, your life, your decision. Not hers.
Continue to treat her with respect, be a respectable person, but avoid sharing any private information that should only be between you and your husband, and ask your husband to do the same. This is protecting the sanctity of your marriage by not letting anyone else who is boldly disrespectful as your MIL is, to meddle in your affairs.
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Your mother in law lifestyle is not your standard as a mother
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Your husband must take a stance and inform his mother
that she I has crossed the line; and demand she discontinue her comments about you and your marriage/being a wife. -
Being a stay at home mom with the kids is a full time job; therefore I encourage you to continue attending to your children, but ensure the home is taken care of as your husband is at work.
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A husband should recognize that just because he works all day, doesn’t exclude him from helping at home with various duties. That’s a conversation between you and your husband.
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Tell your husband you don’t feel comfortable with your mother in law comments, nor if and when she visits; your husband is married to you, not his mother.
Don’t get down on yourself, or discouraged, this is your home not your mother in law
If you don’t work then yes why shouldn’t you look after the children, keep the house clean and tidy and cook a meal for when he gets home! But then when he gets home he can also help to entertain and take care of the kids and jointly tidy around when they go to bed. 
If your husband does mind it, don’t worry about it . You married him not his mother
If you are at home all day, then you should be able to do up the dishes at least. Pick the other jobs according to importance. Vacuum one day, mop one day, dust one day and so on. He shoykd not have to come home and do those things
No way! I cleaned some what when my kids were small but their care was my priority. I grocery shopped and did cook. That gets old. Lol
No. Today’s world is not that way anymore. Women are very often the wage earner.
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Your children should come first. And both the kids and the hubby should pitch in and make it a HOME.
How does your husband treat you? Does he listen to his mother? I’d ignore her.
Why would you want to raise your kids in a filthy home?? Should you not be a example for them.
60s is not old. Still time to ‘twist her head’ and tell her to look around her. It’s a different world now
Oh to have enough money coming in to make it a 50’s home🙄
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Both should share the responsibility of taking care of everything.
Do you know why women have small feet, so they can stand close to the sink.
When I was a full-time SAHM, I had systems in place to rotate when chores were done. Somedays, it was like “Yeah, everything is a mess, but did anyone die??” I also played with my kids, and still do. They are teens. I had the kids help me with jobs, feed pets, picking up their toys, rooms, helping fold simple items(sock matching was great, taught important skills,) reading books all the time, made stores to practice money and they loved setting up restaurants. Which we served lunch at. My kids were master destroying machines. They were like a little crime syndicate. My husband has always been a team player. He comes home, helps get things on the table. He taught the kids to set the table. He would love to just sit, but noticed that my day didn’t end at 5pm either. We worked to provide for our children, we were blessed to have me able to stay home for those precious 8 years. Now I work at their highschool. Raising your children is the best way to make the world a better place. Communication is important. Talk about priorities. Let him know how cleaning the house with children in it, is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos.
The real question is… is your husband happy with the way things are? If so then what she thinks really doesn’t matter.
Listen to the song Mr Mom by Lonestar and when your done laughing, ask this question again 
I am home all day, I don’t have children however I am limited to how much I can do. My husband works all day and helps with dishes and housework
If you are home house should be clean and supper ready
You should know your place and make sure everything’s clean and dinner is on the table. Stop wining and get your ass back in the kitchen…
Hubby stays home, I work he does the laundry and cleaning, I do the cooking, we do dishes…
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It is totally up to you both as a couple to decide. However your husband is away from home all day 5 days per week. Maybe you both can compromise and both share in chores.
Sometimes i think men like this just marry to have another mother, if i were you id look for work
It should be an arrangement that works for you and your husband. No one else 
There is no such thing as “womans work” its 2021 not 1921. All adult members of the household should do their fair share of household chores and parenting.
If you don’t work outside the home , then it’s your job to take care of the home.
It’s not the 1950’s anymore, nope
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If you don’t work and you’re a stay at home mom and hes at work paying all the bills you should at least make sure the house is in order …not spotless… and make sure he has a meal when hes come home from a hard day’s work it’s work you can always get the kids involved in chores so when they grow up they know what to do and not argue with you when you try to ask them to do something …when they get older they’ll already be used to it… but yeah he deserves to come home to a clean house and a meal doesn’t have to be spotless and you don’t have to do it all day. You can still play with your kids you have to be creative! Chores board done, rewards earned! It’s not that hard to have a presentable home.
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Smart mother-in -law , it takes teamwork & usually the woman runs the house
I do think if the man is working and the woman is home the chores should be done etc xxx
Need to find a happy medium and do what works best for your family if your children are very young and your doing all the nights or nursing as well while he is sleeping u need some help to your not a robot dont get me wrong things are easier now adays as technology has advanced we have washing machines etc but the toll of doing everything can get to much at times when there young u don’t need to deep clean your house every day do the essentials try have tea ready but he has to realise he wanted the kids to your not there to mother him even saying or implying that your mil thinks your not wife material is completely disrespectful and he should have your back not side with mummy he needs to grow up.You don’t need to be running around after him to if he wants u in charge of the house then make a list of things he can do to relieve some of the pressure from u during the day…yeah ok he has been at work all day but u have been on your feet all day to and more than likely the one thats had the broken sleep…if he can’t say load dishwasher take trash out help u out with bedtime routine etc so u both can relax a bit in the evening before having to do it all again …then he needs a wake up call … your not there to mother him or be his maid your suppose to be a team he wanted to be a husband and a Dad well them roles come with responsibility.
It all depends. If you work full time out of the house then chores should be a joint effort. If you are a stay-at-home mom, then the housework falls under the scope of that job. This is coming the opinion of a woman of 60.
Uhhhh no. My mom is an ironworker and works on top of skyscrapers and bridges lol. Me and my fiance both clean together and we both work.
You could play with your kids AND do the dishes. Doesn’t have to be one or the other.
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Don’t worry about what the mother-in-law has to say but clean your damn house woman. So I guess you think after he works all day long and you’ve been screwing around he should have to come home and clean?
I think it’s between you and your husband and your mother-in-law should get out of your marriage.
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It all depends on the family dynamics the adults in the house wants to have. The welfare of the children comes first.
If you are in a relationship it is supposed to be 50/50 but now it’s like 75/25 75 woman 25 men .
The woman who failed to raise a self-sufficient and courageous son is giving parental/parenting advice? Shocker.
You aren’t married to her. If he isn’t pushing it, why be bothered by her?
Im at home on maternity with my second and my house is not spotless but i still make time to clean and cook supper your insanly lucky you get to stay home i wouldnt complain about having to clean for a hour or so a day
my great grandmother born in 1926 says that 80% should fall on a stay at home mum and 20% should fall on the man. Occasional cooking or folding clothes, doing dishes e.t.c when mum is sick or exhausted too.