Respect … maybe nothing would’ve happened , but in this day and time you never know and when Alcohol is involved… nothing good comes out of it . But I am a very vocal person and I would’ve went and said something to my husband right in front of the women 
1 Like
I think it’s not a question of trust, it’s a question of appropriateness and respect. Personally I would not like it and I wouldn’t do it.
2 Likes
It is very inappropriate. Too much temptation! We teach people how to treat us by what we accept by their behavior.
18 Likes
It’s absolutely not appropriate. Even if there isn’t a trust issue, I just feel that’s it’s disrespectful. You were nice enough to stay with the baby while he got to indulge in the hot tub but, when people got out, it was time for him to get out. Or, he could’ve gotten out and said thank you babe, let me take him now if you want to get in for a while. Not stayed longer with another woman. I would be surprised if he would be fine if the roles were reversed.
16 Likes
And how come you didnt go outside after toddler went to sleep. Surely the family wouldve watched for an hour…
7 Likes
Yes! They both should have known better and he should have had more respect for you and his marriage.
2 Likes
Sis if you didn’t walk out there and hand him his child…
My biggest issue in the whole situation is YOU being inside with the baby missing out on all adult activities. It took two to make them and take two to raise them.
88 Likes
I trust my husband and wouldn’t have a problem with it.
20 Likes
As a guy I wouldn’t have done it. I damn sure wouldn’t let my wife stay out there.
44 Likes
Yes I do I’d be very upset I wouldn’t have it when 2 people of the opposite sex and drinking together leads to things
1 Like
I know without a doubt my husband would have left. He would say no that is very inappropriate
9 Likes
If I were the other wife. I’d got out as soon as everyone else did or atleast when I realized this other married man isn’t going to leave. That’s awkward asf. Idc how much trust I have for him, if he knows me like he should at that point, hes know that line I have as to what makes me feel disrespected. Remover yourself from a situation before it has a chance to change into something its not
6 Likes
I trust my man. However. If everyone left the hot tub he would’ve too. It’s definitely a respect thing. Why would he not want to be with you or atleast give you a break and let you go in. I’d be questioning why did staying in with her trump coming and spending time with you or letting you go out in the hot tub. Its not appropriate nor considerate towards you.
39 Likes
It’s definitely inappropriate it has nothing to do with trust it’s about respect. Plus add drinking into the mix and even though there may not be any intention on anything happening, something can always happen. Just as if someone gets behind the wheel after drinking, their intention isn’t killing someone or having a wreck but the possibility is always there. A married man should never be alone with another woman especially while drinking.
3 Likes
Why didn’t he get out and offer you a chance to get in the hot tu and chat with someone your age? It may not be inappropriate but it’s definitely shitty.
9 Likes
If you dont love him then leave him there…maybe he will drown
15 Likes
I trust my husband but yes I would have a problem with it! I wouldn’t be drinking alone in a hot tub with another man.!
8 Likes
I personally wouldn’t have loved the situation either.
7 Likes
I dunno how id feel about this if am honest as I trust my husband 100% but I also know if he was put in that position he would 100% remove himself from that situation as would I out of respect for each other and how it could look. X
4 Likes
Personally, I don’t have any issue with it, but if the wife has issue with it, she should definitely bring it up to her husband. Men don’t think like women. And where they don’t think anything of stuff like that, women may feel some kind of way about it, and men won’t know how women feel about it, unless they tell them.
4 Likes
After midnight? That’s a long time in a hot tub while drinkinv! I would not trust the other woman.
6 Likes
I don’t think it’s about trust I look at it more as respect for your spouse especially since she had to care for your child by herself that’s a partnership that should be shared
4 Likes
A good husband would have came in when you did… Not only to avoid any temptation or accusations but just out of pure respect.
4 Likes
His wife would appreciate if he help with the child and maybe she can enjoy to have a chat and drinks in the hot tub 
3 Likes
There is a saying but I don’t know I have it right. “If you take care of how things look, then you take care of how things are.” I know everyone trusts their spouses but why put yourself in a situation where things could go wrong. I also think it’s a bit disrespectful. You are saying I prefer to spend time, at this moment, with this person instead of my spouse.
1 Like
I’d be pissed, just how I am…. I trust him, don’t trust others intentions!! I’d be the one to go out with baby on my hip and tell him get the hell inside and help put child to bed so we can BOTH come back out
1 Like
Not appropriate at all. But if he isn’t trustworthy get rid of him.
3 Likes
from the view point of a man:
my husband- “i’d been a dead man”
a man that has respect for you wouldn’t put you in a position to question his actions like this. he’s got no respect for you. because we both know he wouldn’t be sitting inside babysitting while you and another man got shitfaced together in a hot tub. and if he’d do this in front of you what capers does he pull behind your back.
2 Likes
Only if you dont trust him i wouldent be worried if it was my husband because i trust him iv prob done that myself
1 Like
I agree with you julie. It is a matter of respect and honoring the spouse that had to stay with the child.
1 Like
I never enjoyed spending time with anyone else but my wife.
3 Likes
That and if he’s enjoying the conversation, why not bring it inside so you can be in on the conversation as well. Cause at this point you’re still in full mommy mode instead of enjoying being around other adults. He should be helping you with the kids and enjoying time with you and getting kids settled for bed. Then maybe return to the hot tub and spend quality time with you. Idk men really dont think about the bigger picture so maybe he was honestly oblivious and thought he was doing no wrong. They put themselves in situations all the time lol.
If it were me I would’ve went outside with the kids for a moment and joined the convo intentionally. Depending on how late it was when it started.
1 Like
its not about trust but respect. you dont put yourself in a risky situation where it could lead to something else. Its disrespectful and inappropriate to their partners staying in their the tub. crossing a line there
HELL no. I am sorry all of the trust in the world wouldn’t make this okay in my eyes. A friend of OURS? Sure. A stranger? No. Inappropriate on both ends and not okay in my eyes at all. Why didn’t he come in and let you take a break from the kids to enjoy yourself and you could have gone out in the hot tub to relax with the girl? 
. Sorry but both being married committed none of that matters. I worked as a bartender for over 10 years men and women DO NOT care about being married.
It’s not a trust thing, it’s a RESPECT thing! He should have gotten out when the others did.
3 Likes
I see no harm in it. That is why you have trust in one another. So many people think now days that you can’t have friends of the opposite sex and some even forbid the other from talking to other women.
Not only is it disrespectful and sketchy nobody should have had to watch your child so he could do it. I’d be annoyed and if the roles were reversed I’m sure he wouldn’t be OK with it.
So the husband sat in a hot tub with another women, drinking, while mom did all the parenting? My wife would have put on her suit, jumped in the hot tub and said “time for you to go watch the kid”.
1 Like
Hmm One part of me says “ whatever” but another part of me says “so wrong”. I’m in the middle of this one. I have been in this situation and found myself upset only because I had to attend to a baby/ child while he was enjoying him self and relaxing. I am always the care taker not the relaxer.
I don’t find that appropriate…even if both people are married. Cheating only happens when people put themselves in positions they shouldn’t be in. My husband would not have stayed in the hot tub alone with another women. If roles were reversed neither would I.
1 Like
Sounds to me like you are the one with issues maybe a little jealous since you couldn’t get in or are the one who thinks everyone cheats
1 Like
If my husband did that , well let’s just say he wouldn’t be walking to good . It’s assumed a husband should respect his wife to do the right thing .
I think I would have been more frustrated that I had been left out. Nobody could watch the toddler after they got out so you could get in? He couldn’t have ended his time in there so you could have a turn?
If they are not sitting close & or touching, it’s perfectly fine.
People can conversate without being inappropriate
1 Like
Things like that causes trust issues. And out of respect for your spouse you should not do things knowing that it is causing them to be upset or jelouse.Heathy boundaries are good for both . And he should have shared time with watching the kids so you had adult time too. Next time split the time up
Most definitely inappropriate. I would not just be sitting aside. If I had to our child would be out with us. I would definitely interrupt them. Then my husband and I would be having a serious conversation in private.
I would feel like it was inappropriate if I was in a hot tub alone with a man other than my husband.
2 Likes
She could have joined them when kids went to bed. It’s not about trust it’s about respect.
Well if it was not where his wife could have joined them drinking in the hot tub he should have respected his wife enough not to have been in there in the first place…but since he was he should have got his butt out when everyone else got out he should not have stayed in there with her alone at all…ive alway believed that if you dont put yourself in compromising situations then theres no question about if anything was going on or not…you should never leave doubt in someone’s mind concerning their trust in you…if you dont give me reason to doubt you i wont…just my opinion
It wouldn’t bother me unless they were close together, flirting , him checking her out and etc if he’s not doing anything but just talking not about sex and etc then it should be ok guys can have girls as friends and not want to sleep with them but if u caught him on hook up sites and etc the trust fades gradually
In my opinion I’m sure you wouldn’t have stayed in the hot tub with another man out of respect for your husband so neither should he. It’s out of respect. You didn’t even get in the hot tub because you were inside with your son, get his butt inside the cabin talking to you. We as mothers are “supposed”to miss the fun because we take care of our children and that’s what happened my first marriage, he enjoyed everything while I stayed with the children but my husband did get a little to comfortable with being around other women alone
How do you feel about it? Does he know it bothered you?
I see boundaries with this situation!
Create boundaries like rules for marriage…. What you each would allow and not allow!
Everyone is different so that’s what makes boundaries important!!
I think as an outsider it is too easy to answer on this. Emotions when experiencing something like this is a different ball game. A relationship comes with certain unspoken expectations that both agree on upon entering into a relationship. And sitting in a hot tub enjoying another woman’s attention is not ok whichever way you slice it. Even if nothing happened on the evening I would start monitoring any further contact with this woman.
From the man’s point of view , I would not do this out of respect for my wife .
2 Likes
I commented already but knowing I would have failed at this test doing what was appropriate in my end! lol…but I’m wondering how long did they stay alone because it’s possible that they didn’t know that none of the others weren’t returning! 
Thats when I would of slapped on my suit, grabbed the baby and walked out and said " here hunny", and handed him a baby monitor and said " your turn with the baby im taking time in the hot tub" and hopped in before ge had a chance to even say a word, and if they both got out then so be it…then you know something fishy was going on…if she stayed it was just friendly banter and you possibly have a new friend too…but I’m just that type of person.
1 Like
I bet if it was her in the same hot tub with another man by themselves, after midnight it would’ve been a whole different story…
Definitely inappropriate he should of gotten out when everyone else did and he should of been in side helping you with your and his toddler
Very inappropriate!! I would be livid!!! You never know the intentions of individuals.
Yes, it would be a problem
7 Likes
If I entered a bar and saw my husband sitting at a table with a beautiful woman I would assume she was a friend. I would introduce myself and join them. It’s all about trust. No it was not inappropriate. Since everyone had gone in you were no longer in charge of the toddler and could have joined your husband.
I’m less concerned about why he was with her and more about why he wasn’t with you and your child
Absolutely inappropriate!! Not to mention disrespectful as hell to the wife. Why didn’t he come up and watch the kids while you and her sat and drank for awhile? I’d bet there was more than talking going on
If you know they weren’t doing anything but talking and drinking, what does it matter? Do you trust your husband? If not, time to remedy that.
I got caught in the arms of another mans wife he didn’t say a word ( gave mom a hug)
Yes it’s very very very inappropriate you should ask him why he did it n ask him about his marriage vows
4 Likes
No I dont think its appropriate at all he should have got out when everyone else did
It’s ok for a bit I guess but hours is just disrespectful in my opinion…he’d know your feelings would be hurt I’m guessing???
1 Like
He should have offered to come in with the toddler and let you have a turn
If they are just talking i see no issue however we came together we should leave together
IMO it’s not so much about whether it is appropriate or not, but rather that it is inconsiderate to you because you are taking care of the child and can’t join. At least that is how I would feel. How would he feel if the tables were turned?
I wd mind my husband is a big flirt anyways and I trust him as he does me and if they were just talin than I’m sure ur good
You should of went out there n told him it’s girls time now and his turn to take care of the kiddos
1 Like
If you have to ask the question, then it’s a problem. Husband should know better, but men are sometimes clueless. Let him know its inappropriate
He shoud had his ass in the room with his wife not some random stranger.
Very disrespectful on his part , turn the tables and put the wife in the hot tub with a random man and husband is inside with the child.
Very different out come.
1 Like
Uhhhh, I would have stayed and gave the look to my hubby as it’s time to get out. If he did not, I would have questions!
It’s all fun and games until SOMEBODY gets hurt.
I would be willing to bet money (also inappropriate) that this is how MOST affairs get started.
Best to not put yourself in a potentially Inappropriate situation. False or true allegations could be made. He should have left when everyone else got out or she should have .
I’d feel sad that it wasn’t me in the hot tub with my husband until after midnight. 
I think as long as you trust your husband it’s fine . He didn’t get in the hot tub alone with her he chose to stay in after everyone got out.
hell no!!! my husband knows better. innocent or not i don’t know what happened because i wasn’t there is what i’d told him. HELL HELL HELL HELL NO! he should had gotten out when the other men got out. he should had been inside with his wife and child not entertaining another woman in a hot tub getting drunk. nothing about this sounds right lol HELL NO.
What was the setting? Where all the lights on or down low? Where they having a political debate or talking something technical or flirty? I would have gone out and left the grandparents to watch the baby. But ask him how he would feel if you were the one out there talking with her husband in the hottub. Hot tub evokes images of intimacy but it sounds like they have it set up more as a family affair.
The only thing that matters is how it made you feel period…
Yes, why is he off duty for the entire day… yes its his folks and its good for him to have time to connect with his dad and extended family… but No… after all got out his focus should have been his wife and child… and even before that he and you should have traded places … the little one should have been brought outside… the two of you have created a family he was not there alone and should not have behaved as though he only had himself to think of… very inappropriate.
Yup it’s disrespectful to you. He was probs just having a nice chat but he should have still gotten out
Yes very that is something that a married couple should never do…
No. If it bothered u, then it should be up to u to do somethi.g about it. Call him in, ask for help with the child, join them etc
Well - I let him watch baby and you hang out with her hubby in the hot tub - see if he cool with it.
I mean I trust my husband and I know he’s social so it wouldn’t have bothered me. I probably would have joined after putting the baby down. But if it did I would definitely tell him.
My husband wouldn’t be in a hot tub with another woman . 1. Out of respect for (me ) his wife wouldn’t put himself in that position . When Everyone else got out he also would have gotten out and left the other woman by herself .2 . Would have said to me his wife look why don’t you go enjoy some time with a drink in the hot tub .That woman that in there right now by herself could use some company. As a man and you’re husband he shouldn’t be alone in a hot tub with another female. PERIOD… As a man and respect for you his wife he shouldn’t put himself in that position. PERIOD. If it was my husband we would be getting divorced because I don’t play that . IF he don’t have enough respect for me to not put himself in that position then we don’t need to be together. PERIOD. but that’s me and I know what I deserve and he knows what I will not tolerate 
. Everyone is different and not everyone thinks like I do. I put 100 in my marriage and expect my husband to do the same .my number 1. rule is I don’t and will not be disrespectful to you and I expect the same behavior back.
Is it not appropriate because they’re in a hot tub? What if they were sitting outside or inside alone drinking and talking?
Under that circumstance no. They started in a group so not inappropriate when one by one people get out.
I would stay but I know my boyfriend would not like it. Innoscent as it is, it looks bad right.
YES! Been thru this! It’s definitely a bad sign!
If that was my husband the girl wouldn’t be getting out of the tub 
Very disrespectful towards you Very inappropriate and I’d bet if he could have went further he who would
Your husband and the other man’s wife put themselves in a bad situation by staying in hot tub alone. Both inappropriate behavior. Why put yourself in danger?
A good husband would get out go get his wife and let her go get in and he would lay down with child
Something about hot tubs that bring about promiscuity. Not appropriate for a married man especially when his wife is inside and unable to join.
I think it about trust unless they were to close to each other and what they be talking about