I would say the answer differs by couple. A man should know his wife and she should know her husband. If whatever the activity… alone in a hot tub, going out with a co-worker for lunch… if it would make your S.O. feel a certain way, be considerate and don’t do something that would make them uncomfortable. Some couples wouldn’t have an issue, some would. Judging a woman and calling her insecure is not necessary. She has had different life experiences that cause her to feel differently than a woman that wouldn’t have an issue.
If it makes my spouse uncomfortable, it is my job to acknowledge that and adjust my actions or behaviors to be considerate because I care for him. That’s part of a relationship, knowing boundaries and respecting them. It sounds like he should have known how it would make you feel and should have been a better spouse and got out with everyone else and joined you and his kid. But again… that’s me.
I’d be more pissed he didn’t give me a turn and watch the kids
A no brainer question.DUH!
I definitely think it’s dangerous for everyone.
Ummm i see no problem here at all… Cant really put a comment as there is not enough back story… If she was concerned about taking care of the child then she shud speak up if applies.
No where does she say that she was made to stay in with their kid. What do you mean take turn??? He’s drinking. Everyone here assumes they don’t have an agreement where they take turns by the night or event. Everyone looking to bite his head off on an assumption.
Regardless of what anyone else feels or thinks , you need to have a conversation with him about how it made you feel and go from there.
That should have been everyones suggestion since without communication , problems arise.
Had nothing to do with trust as far as I’m concerned, or how appropriate or inappropriate, for me it is about RESPECT.
No bueno!! That’s a major disrespect to both persons spouses! Pray and repent! You have a right to be upset and you need to communicate in healthy calm manner and he should be calm and handle it well as well if there were no guilty feelings or ill intent then he shouldn’t be defensive or aggressive
Doesn’t matter if others are okay with it, you’re not and it’s your marriage. Talk it over with him and make it clear, you’re not accusing him of cheating, but you feel disrespected that you watched y’all’s child all night while he stayed up drinking alone with another woman. Ask how he’d feel in your position.
Um…there’s so many things wrong with this scenario, that’s just one of them
You’re being more cool about it than I could be at this point. Kudos for that. Not much you can do about it now. I wouldn’t have been able to handle it as it happened. I woulda put the kids to bed and went back out to chill. And if the kids cried, I’d give him that look. Like, your turn
Not really. People can be friends with the different gender💁 the god mother of two of my children is my husbands BEST FRIEND and i absolutely get along with her and her husband😌 i wouldn’t really dawn on that part but more or less have told him to change places so you couldve gotten a break
If you have to ask then yes
I could see for a short while, but after midnight. He should’ve respected you a little more. Idiot.
It’s wrong. Not only did he stay out with the other woman until after midnight, but he didn’t even consider his wife when she was staying in the house with ‘their’ child. Mama needs a break too!
Id took pictures and took all his money
If you trust your husband there should be no problem
Yes very much so 
Don’t even have to go any further than the first sentence and it’s a big fat NEGATIVE
Hell no id burn the hot tub down🤣
Would you have a problem if both the same gender or if he’d swapped places with you? You could have asked him to swap with you
So, they didn’t do anything other than drinking and talk? I don’t know, I say let him relax and he’ll owe you when you want to do the same thing. I know my husband used to do the same thing and I didn’t have any worries about it.
He was probably just relaxed let the man relax they weren’t doing nothing but talking I think your just thinking to much into it
My husband did this … he was fucking her and when I questioned it …I was told I was stupid …
Stay out the evil people that’s not good
Drinks lead to other things and people loose all shame and underwear!!! Jajajja
It depends on the people.
Rather you trust your partner or not, it’s not a smart move
Too much temptation, why put yourself in that position?
He should have left the tun and continued the conversation somewhere more appropriate
This question pisses me off my ex cheated on me by staying up late drinking it’s a damn shame that no one can be trusted
It was very inappropriate. Would he appreciate it if you did the same?He was supposed to get out together with the others.
I can see how you could have a bitter attitude towards this scenario because well that would be a natural reaction but… if your picking your battles and he did nothing wrong…you let this one go. Fighting about it will only make you look terribly insecure and won’t have a positive outcome either because it’s already happened. You can express how it made you feel but I don’t see the point 
Woukd you want your wife doing it??? You should have a kick in the pants. You must think it was wrong if you are asking…
They would both be floating face down if it was my husband 
Hell no!! But I wouldn’t let that happen thats for sure I would make sure she knows what’s up
Um no! Why would a husband that loves and respects his wife and their relationship put himself in that type of situation? Would he like it if it were you drinking in a hot tub with 2 men?! I doubt that. This has nothing to do with trust and everything to do with respect and the simple fact that alcohol can lead to things happening.
Not if he’s married to me.
Yes inappropriate. I might have had to hold her under water for a minute to clear her brain. And he better be up and out of there. I’ll hot tub him.
You either trust him or you don’t
Depends whether they were naked or not!
Depends on many added variables. Have they given you reason to be insecure about it? Is there an obvious attraction? Would he be okay with you doing the same? I personally would feel a bit insecure about it if I’m being honest but it truly depends on the other things.
I personally don’t see the issue maybe he was just enjoying the hot tub and convo. Yes maybe he should have helped parent. If she didn’t ask though maybe he just assumed it was all good. But personally I think there should be trust and men and women can be friends. Someone shouldn’t not be able to be my friend based on their genitals. . If you don’t trust your husband that’s a you and him issue.
My question is … why did you have to stay in the cabin with your toddler ? My kids were always where l was … not because I was worried about anything, but if we went out as a family, we stayed that way …
So… She is left with the baby all night while he is out having fun with the woman and not the husband… Lmao… Yall the type to let it happen and ask questions later… I am the type to snatch his ass up in front of company for thinking that shit was ok.
Someone watch my toddlers…Coz some shit about to go down 
Nina Rani Kully Kaur Rupinder Dalvair Nicky Dalvair
What if it were your husband and another man. Stuff happens, just sayin. It’s all about trust. If you have none you have no “good” marriage.
Clearly you have trust issues
That sorta happened to me on one of my honeymoons. I dont swim so she went to the beach and she told me to go to the hot tub if i wanted. It was empty. But then little while later 2 ladies showed up and got in and we were setting there talking and not even drinking and up walks the new wife, who was pissed as hell, because I did not get out when the ladies got in. But she was often setting at the little hut wiith a drink in her hand and guys would walk up and tak to her, but she said that was different. How the heck was it different. Worst honeymoon I ever attended. LOL
I just wonder if the lady who stayed in the tub partner was as insecure as the lady watching the baby, and if the grandparents got out, are you telling me that they would not watch the child while you wet out to join your husband??
I think some of the story is missing.
A husband that respects his wife would never do that. He would of stepped out once everyone else left and said I am going in to my wife! He also would come in to relieve you so you could be outside yourself.
I wouldn’t have been upset, I’m secure in my marriage and I don’t control the people that my husband talks to. He respects our marriage, but he can still speak with women. So no, I wouldn’t have been upset about it.
In this situation, no i would be fine with it. They were in a group situation with others on the premises. If the wife had an issue then I think it is more about her than him
He helped create your toddler too I would of told him to get his ass out and help you if it was me I would 100% be pissed and he would no about it
Sounds like some friendly conversation. However my question is your toddler should have been in bed long before midnight . Why didn’t you go join him?
Why would you stay in the house with the toddler? Go be part of the group. When grandparents went in they could take the child in put the child to bed or watch her so mom could be part of the group
If it was all innocent who cares?? Trust, People seriously thats why majority relationships don’t work no one trusts or communicates properly anymore. If nothing was said or done then there’s no problem whatsoever
Nope I wouldn’t be okay with it at all. I do completely trust my husband but definitely wouldn’t trust another woman around him (especially while drinking and alone). Though I tend to be extremely aggressive and threatening so I doubt she’d cross me anyway:grimacing:
I’d be more pissed he didn’t come in to watch the kid so I can get into the hot tub
Yes, it’s inappropriate
If they weren’t doing anything but talking and having a drink then whats the problem
Take your heart and run!
It wouldn’t have bothered me at all, I would say they just weren’t ready to go to bed so stayed up for some banter, I think what really concerns you is that it’s a woman not the actual situation. In which case has your husband ever made you feel you can’t trust him, if not then he deserves your trust and belief that he wouldn’t do anything to break that trust.
Have a talk to him and express your discomfort, communication is important in situations like this, maybe you just need to hear his reassurance 
As long as they were not sitting next to each other. Sure
I’d be completely fine with it because I’m completely confident in us and myself
It may have been innocent, but it was very inappropriate.
I agree 
well said!
It definitely is inappropriate, unless his phone parents and them known each other. Because that’s their friends and ur husband would know them… but idk definitely uncomfortable feeling. When everyone else went to sleep.
Question is where was her husband?
Well does he think it would be inappropriate if he was in the cabin with your child and you stayed up drinking in a hot tub with another man!! You got your answer
What you have said …Yes, yes!
I would have thrown a fit and I’m not a jealous woman, but that was a little much!!!
It would depend on the relationship…was your husband friends with her like in school/did they grow up as neighbors?If so, I wouldn’t be too upset (I would be more upset that he didn’t offer to watch our child so I could enjoy the hot tub); but if it was a new person or just a neighbor…nope!
There is literally no way this is okay in my marriage. I’d be pissed. She’d be on the $hit list. He’d never hear the end of it.
If you are there then they aren’t alone? You said they weren’t doing anything except talking and 5 other adults are there, more than likely going inside and outside. Sitting in a hot tub drinking and talking is no different than sitting at a table drinking and talking except there is water… not sure what you’re asking here? Ur toddler probably went to sleep before midnight so you could ha e gone outside with them as well, or asked your hubs to switch with you so you could get in the hot tub too, I see so many different ways to have approached this if you got jealous of him sitting and talking to another married/coupled woman, her husband/boyfriend was there too… I just see your severe insecurities and lack of ability to communicate to your partner.
Considering u were in the room with your kid yes he should have left when the others did and come back to you - now it’s suspect and disrespectful at the least.
Hell yea it’s inappropriate. He should know better.
Nothing wrong with 2 adults having conversation. If it bothers you that much then the issue is with you.
You would not be hot tubbing with my spice. No matters who your partner is
Yes, he should have been with you and your toddler.
He probably thought if you had a problem, you would come get him. I would have went out there and said “hey babe come help me with the kid in here.” And not left him out there
He should been with u regardless of who is having fun as that is his baby just as yours this unfairness should stop…he shouldve known to get out this is sad ask yourself what he wanted from it …he should think for himself he knew well it’s wrong and his family shouldve considered u oficina they invyt use they should make everything convenient not leave u out
Highly excruciatingly inappropriate!!
LMAO honey toddlers fall asleep, I would’ve hauled him out that hot tub so quick my man would never try that shit with me
It is! He wouldn’t like it if you stayed in the hot tub with another man and chat for hrs. Respect goes both ways
YESSS!!! Very inappropriate!
The fact you’re asking tells me that you were bothered by it.
It doesn’t matter whether it was/or wasn’t okay with any of us, if it wasn’t okay with you, it wasn’t okay. Period.
I’d have a chat with your partner to sort our boundaries because it also sounds like at this point in the relationship, you both don’t have a solid idea of what’s okay, and what’s not.
I see it disrespectful… If he wanted to be in hot tub ok take turns… But he didn’t offer to be with you n y’all’s child that’s disrespectful 100 percent
How would he feel if the situation was reversed
Ive been married for 8 years and im glad to say my husband knows that line of respect. He wouldnt do anything he wouldnt want me doing and thats how we are
The only issue I see here is him not taking over toddler care for you to take a turn, I would’ve walked out there and hand the kid to him , my turn biatch!
I mean if everyone was getting out and they weren’t ready yet then I don’t see an issue with them hanging out longer. If you trust your husband then zero issues. It’s not like he went and solely asked her to get in the hot tub alone and drink.
You never really know what someone’s intentions are. I think it’s definitely inappropriate. And I don’t think it would go over well if the shoe was on the other foot either.
I’d probably be a bit jealous but if they’re both commited to someone else and are just talking and drinking it shouldn’t be innapropriate. Especially in a family environment. I would probably think it was innapropriate if at least one of them was single… Even though being married doesn’t really mean that they wouldn’t do anything wrong… Then I’d probably be asking questions to my significant other as he is the one who is supposed to be committed, thoughtful and respectful towards his family, including myself and the toddler.
Out of respect for you I would say no he should have gotten out when everyone else did and came in. Even if it were innocent how would he have felt if the shoe were on the other foot.
Hell yes it is. And not just inappropriate but very disrespectful and demeaning to you. How do you know they just talked? That sounds like a line I was fed once!!
The fact that you are asking strangers this question says that YOU think it was inappropriate and YOU aren’t comfortable with the situation, and that is what matters! If you’re ever uncomfortable about a circumstance, then you should say so, to whomever it is causing you to feel that way. Maybe your feelings are justified, maybe they’re not, but you can’t help feeling what you feel. If the ones involved were innocent in their actions, then neither of them would be offended by your confrontation about it, and in fact, would reassure you, and make sure it doesn’t happen again. The best apology is changed behavior, and you teach people how to treat you by what you tolerate.
A married man should have enough respect for his wife when everyone else got out of the hot tub he should have too. It’s apparent the woman didn’t have any respect for her husband either. This was inappropriate on both their parts. I’d be telling my husband exactly how it looked and how it made me feel.
I would think the issue is not your husband alone with another woman in a hot tub but more about trusting him and knowing it was all harmless fun.
Not about trusting, just inappropriate & kinda disrespectful to both poster & other woman’s husband.
I trust my husband I don’t have a problem with him talking to other women and vice versa maybe they was getting to know each other if you trust him then it shouldn’t be a problem he was orobly making friends
I wonder what hubby’s reaction would be if you asked him to watch the toddler while you indulged in drinking while in a hot tub with a stranger.