Is it appropriate for a married man to be drinking in a hot tub with another woman?

I would be so pissed. If the tables were turned I’m sure he would be mad also, it’s not about trust it’s about respect. Why are you the only one taking care of yalls child?

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Should you not be able to trust him? You are married right? Trust is a huge part of a successful relationship of any sort in my opinion :woman_shrugging:

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Me personally would of dragged him out that hottub

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It is not inappropriate in my relationship but our boundaries are different. It depends on your relationship. I wouldn’t have thought twice about it, but it seemingly bothers you.

No because they were all out as a group and they were just enjoying themselves after everyone left. By this logic he should let a woman pick him up in an Uber or be his cashier.

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While you sat INSIDE with your child ??? Yesss. Lmfao. You deserve time without the kids as well. When the kids went to bed you should of gone out there. Thats just disrespectful IMO

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Just because some people say it’s ok doesn’t mean it is, if it makes YOU uncomfortable then there is a reason.

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Ask him if he would like you to be sitting in a hottube with a guy…

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It would depend on who the person was and what the circumstances were. Do you trust him? Was anything fishy going on? Personally, it wouldn’t of bothered me. I would probably put my toddler to bed and go on outside and join them. Lol

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Maybe you should have tossed her a recieving blanket to cover up! 🤷 i think the issue lies in your own head. If they were sitting at a table in regular clothes it would be okay? All you had to do was tell him right away it did not sit right with you and to come join you in the cabin. Instead you did not and stewed over it and let it build up in your head.

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Unless he has given you a reason not to trust him, there’s no harm. There’s time you meet someone and it’s just good conversations

If you feel as though it is, then helllllllll yeah it is. I’m sorry.

Lmfao! You don’t own the man.

You literally said they weren’t doing anything but talking and drinking. What’s the issue here?

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It sounds like you think it’s wrong. You don’t need everyone else to agree with you, to feel how you feel.
If you talk to your husband and it doesn’t bother him that it bothers you…you’ve got bigger problems.

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Trust issues much. Maybe if you can’t trust your husband when your in the same place as him that’s a big red FLAG.

It is my OPINION that it’s VERY INAPPROPRIATE and shows LACK of consideration and respect for you, your feelings and your marriage .

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In my relationship I wouldn’t think it was a huge deal. Just because I know that I can trust him. If your husband has done things in the past that has made you question it then yes, but where were you at?

Honestly. My man would have been ~accidentally~ drowned. Or inside w the baby.

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No why would that be inappropriate?

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Seems like you must have trust issues or jealousy issues- maybe your insecure in your relationship

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Not unless you have trust issues! You were there why would it be inappropriate?

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We all find different instances and situations inappropriate (or not) when it comes to our husbands. The only opinion that matters here is yours and if that particular situation bothered you and crossed your boundaries and made you feel uncomfortable, then tell your husband. If he respects you, it will never happen again.

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Kinda shitty u had to stay in tho

It was a group, some got out, they were only talking and drinking. I would be fine with hubby doing that and he would be fine if it was me and a man. Do you not trust your hubby? would you do it if it were you and a man and others got our and you werent ready yet and were just talking and drinking?

If they’d gone in by themselves, I’d say it was inappropriate. But they were with other people and just didn’t want to get out with the rest. I’d have been more upset that I was “stuck” with the kid all night and he didn’t even offer to switch at some point so I could enjoy some free time as well. :woman_shrugging:t3:

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I feel like he should be with the toddler and you should be the one in the hot tub lol

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You need to build your self esteem up because if that’s all they were doing was drinking n talking then you are stressing yourself out over nothing.

He is married. He should not be alone drinking with another woman period. Soon as everyone else got out and he found himself alone with her he should ha e excused himself to yalls cabin

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Very inappropriate and disrespectful to you!!! He should have gotten out with everyone else and/or asked his parents to help with the baby while you and him got in. That is wrong on so many levels!

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The real question why didn’t he get toddler duty and you get time in the hot tub too :thinking:

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My rule of thumb is to not do anything I wouldn’t want my husband doing. And visa versa. As long as you both are in agreement to that everything should be fine

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I would say it is wrong only because Men are week and you add Alcohol :cocktail: just a bad combination :wink::stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:!

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I know I wouldn’t be comfortable with my husband alone in a hot tub with another woman.

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I would take turns with the child and eventually be the one that ends up in the hot tub with her :joy:

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Omg. You either trust him or you don’t. If you trust him then there is no issue. If you don’t trust him then why be with him.
Two people, opposite genders, same gender, unknown genders… They can all hang out together without it being sexual.

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So much context is missing.

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Yes I agree there are obvious insecurities here… but I think those insecurities are warranted, they were created by inconsiderate behavior. The complaint is the hot tube time but the real root of the problem is being left to be mom while your significant other gets to be responsibility free living his best life.

Would you still be angry if at some point he had gotten out and said hey why don’t you get your suit on and take a dip with her while I watch the baby?.. no, probably not :woman_shrugging:t4: because you wouldn’t feel like he valued his time with this other young woman more than your feelings. you’d feel included and acknowledged. Sometimes we place jealousy on what we think is the “obvious” :other woman scenario. In reality you’re jealous of his ability to have a grown up life without having to beg for a break. Moms tend to feel obligated to take on the role of full time baby watcher and many dads tend to take advantage of that not seeing the damage it can create.

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I would’ve had a shit fit lol

Lol jealous women not healthy

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No I don’t think men and woman being friends is wrong. I do think leaving you inside until past midnight is though. I always bring a baby monitor with me so I can be outside with adults while my sons sleeping.

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They were drinking and talking. There was a group in there to start. They werent alone it sounds like… sounds like people were still around. Maybe I’m alone- but I trust my husband so I wouldn’t be concerned.

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As soon as every else got out he should have excused himself at the very least to check on you and baby and make sure it was okay (as in not crossing a boundary) to be in there with her alone…

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Why didn’t you put your toddler to bed and join them? Make friends, socialize.

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Seee you later am done

If a man is a cheater, he will cheat regardless of the circumstances. The hot tub, and the woman, is a moot point. You may or may not know what your man is capable of, but you do know who you are and what you are willing to tolerate or accept within a relationship. Boundaries help, as well as communicating with your partner.

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Hey if you thought was OK to get in then what’s your issue lol

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Very dispectful to u I wud have pulled him out by his ear

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I wouldn’t have the balls to do that but my wife must be meaner than you.

I don’t think it’s necessarily inappropriate. But I do feel like it was inconsiderate. I mean you’re sitting inside with your child and he’s cutting loose. I feel like when everybody got out. Maybe he should have gotten you to go out and watched your child or asked someone close to and went out there with you. I don’t think it was inappropriate given the circumstances. But I do think he needs to be more mindful about your feelings/wants/needs because I do agree that wasn’t cool.

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Wot I’d like to know is, if they wer in there all that time up to goneidnight, wer did they take a pee :woman_shrugging::woman_shrugging::woman_shrugging:

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If other people got out and it just happened that way, no big deal. He’s not doing anything wrong.

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The prefect storm and just add alcohol

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Inappropriate? No. Inconsiderate? Yes.

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I definitely would have put my toddler to sleep assuming there was other adults in the house, and join them :woman_shrugging:t3::joy:

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Hey why wasn’t I invited! Lol

Fuck no. He needs to come inside and be with his family, help with his toddler.

You can trust him but it is wrong to stay in the hot tub with this women. Very inconsiderate! Trust him but don’t be stupid!

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That’s a big NO, so disrespectful to you and ger husband. I trust my husband 100% but this isnt about trust its about being a married man that respects his wife!

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I would have gone nuts

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No it’s not appropriate at all. But not worth starting a bunch of shit over. But my spouse better sleep with one eye open. :laughing:

I think it is considering you had to stay inside the whole time with y’all’s kid. When everyone else got out, he could’ve got out to let you go out there with the woman. Or he could’ve just came inside with you period.

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Yes inappropriate and very inconsiderate!

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I guess it all depends on trust and respect. You are watching your child. You would think he would want to be with you.

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I wouldn’t be happy … Like you’re inside with the kid and he’s out in a hot tub drinking with some other woman till after midnight… why wouldn’t he come in and spend time with his family instead of some random…

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Guess it depends on your relationship and the way the woman was. In my situation I would’ve trusted my hubby, but been pissed about him not thinking I could use some relaxation time too. If the woman carried herself appropriately it would be fine, as long as shes not trying to just befriend my husband but also me. If it was a trashy lady who is openly flirtatious and he didnt excuse himself until after midnight, that would be completely different and would be a HUGE problem.

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NO. what’s the big deal anyway?

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Why are you married if you do not trust your husband to even talk to another lady?

This wasn’t a singles club you went to, this was a family gathering with a couple extras/family friends invited.

Was there an obstacle stopping you from hanging out “poolside” with the baby?

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Not innapropiate… it wasn’t something he planned… people left and he probably was having a nice conversation.
If you don’t trust your man ,that’s just another thing…you said he wasn’t doing anything wrong so what’s the big deal??

Not really inappropriate. But my husband also knows it would make me uncomfortable so he wouldn’t do it. He’d have come in or asked me to come out. Either way he wouldn’t have sat in there all night with some other woman. Ot was inconsiderate of your husband, regardless if he knew how you’d feel about it; he should have asked.

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If my husband did this I would be irritated with him for being inconsiderate asf… but my husband is usually very mindful of sending bad messages like that and thinks about that type of shit and I don’t see him doing that. But if he did… we would have a talk about being more considerate of the way things appear

I trust my partner :woman_shrugging: sounds like you have trust issues that are unrelated to me

Wouldn’t be happy and it’s stuff like this which makes me glad to be single

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Ya id a lost my shit

I’d so no based on the situation…

Not that he is in a hot tub but that he didn’t think you could use some hang out time too. He could have asked his parents to keep an eye on your toddler so u both could sit with strange lady for a bit. She probably would have went with her husband at that point. Lol

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He should have left to come spend time with you. To me it’s not an issue do I trust him, it’s why did you leave me in here with our child to be out there with another woman?

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a married man in the vicinity of a woman?! divorce him, he’s a slut!

Sounds like you have trust issues.

Jealousy is an ugly thing , why didnt u get the grandparents to watch ur child at some point ? And most important, where was this girls man ?

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I’d be fine with it.

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It’s in inappropriate persay , but it’s disrespectful to you . Once the man got out , he should have as well …. That’s just out of respect for you . And he also should have came inside and handled y’all’s toddler , so you could relax a bit . Hang out with that woman , and enjoy some wine . He’s Inconsiderate as well .

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Yes, I’m surprised he didn’t feel weird.

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He should’ve came in and watched the toddler and let you have some hot tub time.

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Nope !! Red flag warning sister !!! He’s supposed to be a married man!!! Not acting like he’s a single man out on a date . I’m so sorry :cry:
I know how you feel !

Well only if it bothers any one concerned - - - I would not care, personally - - -

I’d be more angry at the fact he left you in with the toddler and didn’t come to get you for some relax time.

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You have been in the cabin watching yall’s toddler the entire time while everybody else has been hot tubbing, having fun socializing drinking…then it’s after midnight & just the two of them??? Where’s her man???It’s awkward because it’s after midnight, you’ve been babysitting in the cabin while everybody has been relaxing hot tubbing & drinking… just seems a bit rude on your husband’s part…But, who knows maybe he lost track of time​:woman_shrugging:, maybe her man just had to go to the restroom​:woman_shrugging: Either way, since he got to relax & socialize & enjoy some hot tub therapy, you deserve to treat yourself to a little retail therapy or spa time…it hasn’t been a party :tada: during this pandemic, especially with a toddler I’d imagine, so…that’s my 2 cents…:woman_shrugging:

Trust him? Then it’s ok? Not worth fighting over.

Yes it is inappropriate. Just to keep temptation at bay and trust, he should have come in with you when it was just the two of them left.

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Then again we all have opinions and I may be wrong. If so am apologizing.

1st of all… he is selfish. 2nd of all what woman wants to drink and chat with another womans husband while her OWN husband is there!! And 3rd respect…he should have got out to respect you but also the other man

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If you have no trust you have no love

I would have no issue with it. Can’t have a healthy relationship without trust. It’s nice to talk to someone new, someone who’s stories you haven’t heard, someone with new perspectives. Wouldn’t matter if it was a male or female, is just conversation.

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She woulda caught these hands… he would have to.

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Check yourself,you might be boring to sit-down with. Work on it dear.

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Fastest way to get himself into temptation.

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I had this very same thing happen it wasn’t a hot tub it was a swimming pool one of the 48-in deep ones me and my daughter-in-law’s dad and a bunch of kids were playing in the pool well it was done dark I was waiting on my daughter and my boyfriend to come in they come in just as we’re getting out they stayed out in there and swim by their self cuz the kids had got out I believe in the dark a little info though I done found a video of him and her at a motel so I did not trust either one of them so they stayed out there for a while I snuck out there to see if I could catch him doing anything or listen to him they finally got out I just don’t think I could trust him being in the pool with my daughter same thing with you if you watch them and they didn’t do nothing that’s one thing but you don’t know what they were saying to each other either

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Absolutely inappropriate!!!

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He was in with a married woman seems like no big deal since her husband got out and left her in. Trust is everything unless you’ve been burned before.

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