Not all married men want to live. It’s not about trust, it’s about respect. A few minutes, fine, whatever. After that…time to trade and him to watch his child while momma plays or at least go hang out with his family.
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Not cool, at all. If your toddler was as sleep why didn’t he come and get you. Talking or not,
he didn’t even think of you.
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If it makes you uncomfortable, than he is crossing boundaries. If you haven’t spoke up about your boundaries, than you need to. I’m sure if the shoe was on the other foot, he wouldn’t enjoy seeing you in the same position.
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I would tell him be inside with me. Or someone can keep on eye on out child so that we both can be in the hot tub.
What??? How is this even a question? Girl just girl???wth??
“On tonight’s episode of SNAPPED…”
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Tbh my husband would be uncomfortable alone in a hot tub with another woman, unless it was a mutual friend that we know well and either of us would be comfortable alone with them.
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i think it’s disrespectful to you. he should be inside helping with his child also. i also flip the tables, would he like it if you did this? i doubt it. 
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I would have gone out and ask him to go in with the kids so you could go out in the hot tub with her
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I would have stepped out in my swimsuit with Baby and told DH it’s my turn, he’s got Daddy -duty now. You should have slipped into the tub with the hottie. 
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When i was married I would’ve helped my wife then asked her to come back in, or shut the door for couple time
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If that were my husband - he could stay in that hot tub as far as I’d be concerned. I’d be out. Not appropriate and disrespectful. I’m sorry you had to go through that 
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Men only do what you allow them to do.
Next time you go away bring a baby monitor so you can put your child to bed,he or she is safe in bed, you can hear them, and you can enjoy yourself in the yard or whatever too.
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No. What the actual hell
Very disrespectful to you
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What’s amusing about this is, if the tables were turned and this was a guy asking then everyone would tell him to lay off and let her have time to enjoy herself.
Every relationship is different and me personally, no I don’t see this as inappropriate but that’s also based on my relationship. I think a lot of it depends on who the other person is though. There’s people that my husband would stay and talk with and others that he wouldn’t.
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Yep definitely very inappropriate
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yeah dunno about this one…
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Hell no my husband would never!
Not appropriate at all!!!
YES, it is!!!
Did you ask him why he stayed out there with her that long??
Depends on who the person is? 
but also I don’t care. But if there was one specific person that I know then I’d be upset. Like if it was an ex or something? Otherwise nah doesn’t matter
It’s disrespectful, if it were my husband they would have found him floating face down 
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Did you ask him to come to bed, or tell him you were uncomfortable? Or did you just sulk in the room? You can’t expect people to read your mind. If he had no intentions and as far as he was concerned he was just enjoying a conversation with another person (who was also in a commited relationship, btw) perhaps he didn’t even think. We can debate about how inconsiderate that is, but that doesn’t mean he was being disloyal. You should have said something if it bothered you. Not everyone thinks the same way. It wouldn’t bother me unless I was too tired to deal with the baby, but I’m secure enough in my relationship not to worry about it, and if she somehow rubbed me the wrong way or I was having a day, I’d be out there telling him “party’s over bub.” Then I’d talk to him about how I felt once we were back in the room together. It’s called “a healthy open line of communication”. You should not just trust your partner not to cheat, you should trust your partner to hear you when they do something you don’t like… unless he has been in a hot tub with another woman for half the night before, and you’ve had this conversation already. Then that’s dismissing your feelings, and it’s disrespectful. People don’t all have the same boundaries. If you don’t tell him what your boundaries are, that’s on you. If you do set clear boundaries and he routinely disregards them – that’s a different story.
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I trust my spouse, I’d be more upset that I had to put the kids to bed by myself.
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Uhhhh, if you trust your spouse this shouldn’t be an issue. Maybe they were talking politics or bs. Either way, if you can’t trust your man while he’s in the same damn house as you, throw the whole ass man away & start over.
That definitely wouldn’t fly with me
It’s all about trust hunty
It was disrespectful to you. How would he like it if you did it?
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If everyone could see them there would be no problem if they were just talking. Jealousy will get you no where. If you trust him then give him some break from family and kids. Your turn can be tomorrow night. Let him put them to bed and you take the break.
Yes , if it’s my husband and he’s tired of living!
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Every marriage has different boundries and definitions of what is acceptable and not
So there isn’t a clean cut yes or no
At the end of the day if this made you upset or uncomfortable then it was inappropriate for your marriage and you and your husband need to get on the same page on what is and isnt ok to do
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What if it was you in a hot tub with another man?
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There is nothing sexual about a hot tub.
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No what the hell. Inappropriate to the max.
Ummm no not a problem…he was in a hot tub and drinking with another person. You do let him talk to other people right? And so what if there was drinking. Sounds like jealousy to me.
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You said all they were doing was talking. What’s wrong with that? It sounds like the green-eyed monster is taking over.
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more on the fact that you had to stay inside with your child that is also his child and what he was doing outside having fun with someone else besides his wife and child at bedtime. you and baby should be the funnest thing for him to be around in my opinion
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I’m curious as to why people think sitting and talking with someone is inappropriate? I wouldn’t care at all, if my partner drank and spoke with another person.
Are your partners not allowed to speak to other people?
If you’re relationship has trust and security, what do you have to worry about? If your relationship doesn’t have trust and security, what are you doing still being in that relationship?
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I agree with the answer above, yes, if it’s my husband he’s tired of living. He should have gotten out of the hot tub, and come in when everyone else dispersed. I wouldn’t stay in the hot tub with another man, talking and drinking until midnight. It’s just way too intimate.
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Yes if the other half approves
No! He should have gotten out when everyone else did. Same for her. If she’s in a relationship, she should’ve gotten out when she realized they would be alone. It’s really just a matter of respect for your partner.
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Yes it is very inappropriate should never happen!!
I mean, I wouldn’t be happy about it but if everyone was in there and then got out and they stayed for a little while it wouldn’t be a huge deal but several hours WHILE IM INSIDE WITH OUR CHILD is a huge HELL NO. When everyone else got out he should have gotten out shortly after and went inside and gave you the option to go out into the hot tub or to chill and have some kid free time.
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Mine would have hopped out anyway lol
He better get out and help tend to his child too. He had a turn now it’s moms time to enjoy a little R&R.
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Yes
Completely inappropriate. Especially since they were drinking.
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If you trust him then that shouldn’t be a question
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No, in fact me and my husband went on our annual anniversary trip to a beach house in june. On the 1st night, I wanted to go ask the neighbor if we could fish across the street at the dock but didnt have the confidence to walk over. Well after a couple drinks I some how developed the courage, and although he was like 20 years older than me, I stayed talking with him until like 3 a.m because we had so much in common, I actually thought he was gay at first🤷♀️ until he told me about his failed marriage we talked about photography and grounding and all sorts of things just drinking and having a good conversation as he was from the state next door to us.(hes from texas and were from Louisiana, which is where we were vacationed) it was very very innocent my husband was okay with it simply because he knows I wouldnt do anything. Sometimes certain people have this connection that leads to an amazing friendship. Me and this man still keep in touch today and it’s nothing more than an amazing friendship connection. If you cat trust your partner why are you with them??
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Definitely inappropriate!
I mean he just left you to take care of your child so he could hang out with someone else all night??? GTFOH This is just really inconsiderate. Even if you trust him …just not nice!
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Yes bet he wouldn’t like it if it were the other way around…
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YES it is inappropriate. He is married. A person who is married should never be in a hot tub with someone of the opposite sex unless it is their spouse. Insecurity has nothing to do with it. This type of behavior leads to more and more temptation.
I asked my husband this question his response was “I wouldn’t have gotten in the hot tub in the first place I’d have waited until our baby was asleep then we’d go out together” …
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Common sense kind of tell’s you that 
… But yes, VERY inappropriate.
My husband wouldn’t have gone out without me
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No. But sounds like trust issues…
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I think it’s completely unacceptable. Absolutely no way I’d be okay about this.
Honestly if it were me and everyone came in and those two stayed out I would have gone out and said to my husband it’s time for you to go tend our child, look at the woman and say I’m sure your boyfriend needs you, while I sit in the hot tub. Sit my happy self down and watch how quickly both of them left and enjoyed my alone time.
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So …
We have a rule in our marriage that has nothing to do with trust but it’s about respect
Nothing that could even be questioned.
It’s not that we don’t trust each other but it’s respecting the relationship to never act in a way that would raise doubt.
Not like talking to people but stuff like this. It gives
the wrong idea absolutely
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It’s lame that you couldn’t take turns watching the baby so everyone got a chance to relax wth… so if not inappropriate it’s pretty damn selfish.
And he still has a heartbeat
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I think whoever asked this has some insecurity that she needs to address…
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Yes, not right at all!
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Ask him if he can come in and watch the toddler so you can enjoy the hot tub with her husband!!!
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Uhhh 
yeah my husband can do wtf he wants … I don’t need to be around bc I ain’t his babysitter… if I want to get into the hottub with one of his friends I’ll get in the fucking hottub and if he wants to get into a hottub with one of my girlfriends, then get in the damn hottub 
I mean I don’t put pants on when his friends stop by and neither does he 
Sounds like trust issues… But after 17 years and 3 kids, if we have to babysit each other, it’s a NOOOO from me dawg 
if we felt some type of way, we’d address it but hell I handpicked and hired and even watched the strippers rip his clothes and boxers off of him at his bachelor party had to make sure they were his type I get the whole respect thing but it’s also respectful to let your spouse enjoy their night while only 1 gets the kids to sleep… But ours works both ways. Guess a big part of the answer would be “what would his response be if roles were reversed?”
No, major trust issues.
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I would run if I was the husband, this chick has major issues! Put the kid to bed and join the fun, no one made her stay in. She must have fallen off the rocker while putting the baby to sleep!
Seems like he legit was just drinking and enjoying a good chat.
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most def shows great disrespect for the woman who was taking care of his babies… and even if she was not doing so. still very disrespectful…
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How is this even a question? 
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If u trust ur husband u shouldn’t have anything to worry about
I don’t believe that’s appropriate at all.
If you trust your partner why can’t he stay up having a drink in the hot tub … Why not go out when the grand parents came in and join the convo?
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I think the best way to answer this is to honestly ask yourself how he would respond if it was you and her husband out there. However you answer that would be how I would handle it.
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Is it appropriate for a married woman to be inside another home with a married man while she knows his wife is outside and distracted?
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Well from experience, yes. My EX husband was left unsupervised for 15 mins drunk with his sister and couldnt resist the urge.
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Get your ass out the tub buddy!
No. Let’s face it, men are men. They will always notice a good looking woman rather it’s in their head or out loud it’s natural. Us women too. But add late night, alone, alcohol, bikini… It just doesn’t seem like either of them should have felt comfortable enough to stay whenever everyone left. Also, I’d keep thinking what kind of conversation would have lasted that long. It’s not about insecurities it’s the fact of the matter he should have gone to bed with his wife instead of staying out alone drinking in a hot tub with another woman. He obviously was enjoying her company enough to forget about his wife being stuck inside with the baby missing any fun.
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Extremely inappropriate
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Definitely inconsiderate of your husband. Plus drinking while in a hot tub while intensify the effects of alcohol. In all that time he didn’t think to go check on you or baby shows what was really on his mind.
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There’s a difference between trusting your husband and this being uncalled for. For the people saying “if you trust your husband”
your husband shouldn’t be doing anything he doesn’t want you doing. That’s respect.
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I would say inappropriate at best. You said they wasn’t doing anything so was you watching. At best he didn’t consider your feelings or that you was being a mom and taking care of your child. I wouldn’t argue about it but would at least discuss your feelings.
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No IMO the appropriate and considerate thing to do would’ve been to get out with everyone else
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That’s exactly how my first husband met his second wife…in our hot tub with my friend while I was struggling to get my toddler to sleep…NOT OK🤬
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It really up to you if you feel it’s wrong. I know in my marriage nothing like that would happen and if it did either way it would have been wrong. My husband and I have had talk about if you wouldn’t want them to do it then you dont do it. We dont believe in Male,female friendships. It’s just asking for problems. Maybe because we have seen a lot of couples split up and end up with there ‘friend’.
No,it made you uncomfortable and they are very insensitive!
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Yes! Very inappropriate he showed no respect for you! As a matter of fact neither did the woman! Run! Run fast run!
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Is it appropriate for a married man to be drinking in a hot tub with another woman?
Nope. People can socialize. 
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I think as long as it really was strictly just talking and they weren’t like super close together then it’s fine.
Now if they were right next to each other and Stuff like that then there’d be a problem
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I don’t see a problem with it
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Idk I’d be lowkey weirded out by that?
That’s just me though.
I think anything involving drinks and a hot tub after midnight is weird.
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I dont think its necessarily inappropriate but why didn’t you get a break to socialize also?
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Not if they were just talking. I think it’s inappropriate that you had to stay inside.
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Nope I dont see anything wrong with it.
I would be mad that he’s not in with his family, but instead talking to a woman whose half naked…
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I mean as long as they were not like on top of each other or anything weird. If they were just talking I don’t see an issue. Both of them are in relationships
Girl my husband would know better
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I think the only issue is that you seemed to be the only one who didn’t get to which is bullshit.
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I think it is very inappropriate. When everyone else got out, your husband should have come inside to you and your children!
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