I remember at 9 years old I was tired of being treated like a baby and already knew most of those things. If he was curious then you tell him. You can’t wait until the moment he hits 18 to sit there and tell him everything… that’s impossible. It’s our job to teach them about the world the entire time they are with us.
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Like it’s real life situations. We can’t hide our children forever. That’s what’s wrong with the generation now! They’re all cry babies who need safe rooms to cry bc their sensitive. Like someone else said, if this is the worst she’s done, pick and choose your battles. I think it’s a good conversation on what good morals are and what is a great way we teach “treat others how you want to be treated”
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obviously the kid understands breakups if you and their father aren’t together.
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In my household we are very open about just about everything. If they have questions, I answer them honestly and age appropriately language so they know the truth. My almost 7 year old knows things most kids his age don’t, because he is a very curious child. Literally as I type this, he asked me about my angel babies. He knows I have been pregnant 5 times and I have 2 children (sister is 14 and he is two weeks from being 7). He wanted to know if I named my other kids I lost in pregnancy. I see nothing wrong with what the step mother did
It’s not like she’s describing a porn scene on how one guy has a bigger schlong. This isn’t the 50s. When people cheat they get left and divorced. Maybe if that happens to him one day he’ll remember (even if it’s just a friend being I loyal) that he deserves loyalty and respect in all forms of his relations.
I feel like having a real conversation about adultery is ok but with real life context, sometimes kids that age may ask why so and so’s parents divorced or “mom what does cheating mean?” Kids are curious, and it’s better to explain things than them google it, i don’t think using the movie and actors was the best way to explain adultery to a child that’s just my take
Let his stepmother be a stepmother! In sure she told him in language appropriate for his age. Be glad he has another adult in his life who loves him and cares about him. Stop being petty. You’re not thinking about what’s best for your son.
I’ll be honest and I’m not being rude but your 9 year olds most likely heard and spoke worse things with his friends, in today’s day and age these kids know about a lot of things we wish they didn’t. Some 9 year olds I’ve seen curse talk about sex and all of that. It’s unfortunate. I understand what your saying 100% and I feel it sucks
It sounds like to me that she didn’t mean anything by them conversations and was just talking without thinking of how old he is. These days almost every child I have ever seen can sit and tell you grownup things that you wouldnt believe by the time they’re 5 yrs old. They may not even really know exactly what they’re talking about but still yet they do. I think if I was you and it was my son then I just wouldn’t overthink it and read more into something than what really is there
I’ve always been 100% honest with my children . I don’t see the problem. Rather my kids learn about the ups and downs of life from their parents than anyone else. When your child has a step parent and is with other family you have to accept that you won’t always parent the same and that’s ok.
I talked to my children & bonus children about cheating and the ramifications of said deed. I think kids should learn things like this at a young age. Maybe you should elaborate on how ppl get hurt by it. How if your unhappy in a relationship not to go outside of it while with someone but break it off with that someone first. Build him up to be a good man. Turn the conversation into a positive learning experience. Not all step moms are out to irritate the bio mom. My step son y’all’s to me about things he doesn’t want or feel he can tell his parents. Though he has gotten better about talking to his dad because I’ll sometimes bring him in on the conversations. These kids learn YOUNG now. Take this opportunity to elaborate and making it a learning moment. Just my opinion
It’s real life why not… keeping the real life situation and issues does not help a child. Is she explained it well and he understood it then he was at a good point for this to be explained to him… I don’t see what the damage is imo
I think it’s great to help raise our thing humans to be amazing adults and good humans. I don’t think this topic is age appropriate for nine. There are better more age appropriate ways to teach boundaries.
I didn’t even read your whole post.
Your son’s step mom sounds like my teenage granddaughters.
Sounds like she’s extremely immature.
She’s too caught up in the love like of some random actress. Ugh
Good luck with her!
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I think you just seem bitter. Just be happy she is able to talk to your child as her own, and love and care about your child as much as you do. Stop making step parents seem so horrible. Not all step parents are evil, despite what Disney may have taught you 
I don’t see why she had to tell the whole story to a 9 year old
Sounds like she needs friends
It’s fine to say they were a real couple but that’s about it I think
I don’t see a problem with explaining what cheating is as long as its in an appropriate setting. I probably wouldn’t bring something like this up unprompted to a 9 year old though. I believe in telling them the truth when it comes to life, but only when they are mature enough to understand or I absolutely have to (like a death in family)
For me the fact that the kid is watching twilight and all that is in it… that itself makes “cheating “ convo a non issue. The movies have sexual energy… I think you’re just being hard on step mom bc she’s step mom
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What world are you living in? Regardless of age, you can’t protect your child from everyday life. These things happen. Honey, live your life and stop stressing this little shit. Life is too short to worry yourself over things that don’t even matter. And no, nothing is wrong with telling him about divorce and cheating.
Pointless actually. What made her think a 9 year old cares about what celebrities do? (And what’s it to her). Ditto for the talk about her sister. Why would a kid that age care or even really understand. She needs to find other adults to talk to.
I doubt the nine year old is even really listening tbh. What’s your fear of the conversations? I feel like this is just being petty. It’s your baby daddy’s wife. That’s the real issue.
I understand why you would feel the way you do, whether your child has heard it from friends and knows about it or not it’s a conversation you feel best coming from you or there dad, I’d feel the same.
My children was told by there dads gf, that the tooth fairy wasn’t real, as she discussed how her dad was the one playing tooth fairy, I was fuming, my children are 8 and 10 but are very much believers and whilst they can I’d like them to have that bit of magic and belief,
Some things should be left down to the bio parents and any step parents should respect that x
I mean… I told my kids what happened they were a lot younger than that on what their father did and why we split up/divorced and had my best friend move in with him and a baby. He cheated…got beat friend pregnant during our marriage. They know. They know he cheated. He also told them. And im sure she has also. They are know 12 and 10. This happened when they were around 4 and 6 I wanna say. I dont lie to my kids. (Not just my doing)
Work with the step parent for ur child instead of worrying over your ego… maybe the child bc most people feel this way, is comfortable talking to the step parent than their own mother… at least they have another person in their life to care to help them in their growing and understanding…
I feel like it’s better for him to habe it explained to him with examples of things not related to him. So yeah its okay. If he understands he understands. If he doesn’t who cares
Everyone parents different. I don’t see an issue here personally. There’s no rule book on what age you start I discuss sex, cheating, relationships etc. Protecting the child is one thing,and raising a naive child is another.
When I was 9 almost the whole dam school already had their own boyfriends and girlfriends 
My best friend was set up with her childhood sweetheart by her parents with one of their mates kids her age when she was 8 they dated for like 4/5 years. At 9 we knew so much more then just cheating and shit we knew all bout sex and forplay we knew about drugs even had MULTIPLE kids SUSPENDED in year FOUR for drugs. So cheating he’ll no not an inappropriate subject teach them before another kid decides to get back at them for being near their partner, teach them about abuse.
IF YOU DONT TEACH THEM SOMEONE WILL AND WAYS THATS NOT SAFE!!
I guess I personally don’t see an issue with it but I’m also very open and honest about stuff with my kids, and some 9 year olds (think) they “date” already anyway and it’s good to teach them one boyfriend/girlfriend at a time because feelings get hurt otherwise and so on. I mean as long as she didn’t divulge any deeper than that of course. Did she say what they did to “cheat”? Because that’s a bit much then. I would have an issue there then…hm…I guess now I see your point. And this paragraph has just turned into a rambling session. I get both sides though and wouldn’t worry too much about this particular incident yet.
I can see both sides here. I was the stepmom and now my kids have a stepmom. I would say as long as the lady wasnt using the movie to trash talk his mama and only giving a life lesson to the boy…I would be ok with it.
Very real conversations, that he will need to know about for the real world. I think it’s great they can talk about real life issues!
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Your child will be so out of touch with the world if you try to shelter them from anything negative. Divorce and cheating happens so much much in life and kids should be told the truth so they don’t have unrealistic views on life
Just have the conversation with him I have three kids and my oldest is very intuitive so if this ever came up I’ll just be honest with her
I think that would maybe make a great opportunity to teach the child why being faithful is important.
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My kids are 6/8 and we’ve had these and more conversations like this respectfully about both or more parties involved… I only go so in depth depending on their age…
My daughter is 9 and knows what cheating is. I’ve been married to her father for 10 plus years. Marriage is sacred and I’ve always explained a wife’s job, a husbands job and everything in between to her including staying faithful. Be thankful you’re child has an adult that cares to have conversations with your child and explains to them certain terms. I’d have no problem with this scenario. Your child will date and they need to know apart of that is staying committed and faithful to their partner. It’s a part of dating not that people just “date”
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I say if it isn’t affecting you and your son at your home or his life isn’t endanger, leave whatever is said or done alone at their house. You have no reason to be entertaining anything your son may say to you from your ex’s house. Leave it alone and move on.
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I don’t see what the big deal is. Kids know a lot more than people realize. I teach my kids that cheating on your spouse is wrong. Everyone does it different. IMO mom sounds like she was guilty of cheating so it touches a personal nerve for her.
I’d think anyone who teaches children reality and do it honestly is helping the child become a better adult.
I don’t think you need to ask that question. If you think it’s wrong then tell her that. Momma hearts are things that must be listened to
I mean twilight is showing ur child the a woman loves 2 ppl so maybe step mom wanted to talk about due to him be confused about the movie but if u ain’t happy with how it got handle then say something but be thankful u have another person who is involved in ur kids life
I see nothing wrong with normalizing a healthy conversation. More people need to normalize these type of conversations. Especially since the school system is crossing an even further line. These things should be spoken of in the home, by those whom love you and have empathy in your personal feelings or opinions or questions on such a subject. Just like puberty, sex and sexuality. At age nine. It’s okay to talk about puberty. And even sex pretty soon. And then sexuality’s should come later. Like dating age. But then again some parents allow dating in younger ones. I would not!
I guess I don’t understand what’s the issue here. I would agree with you if he was five. He’s nine years old, he’s going to grow up in this world and things like that do happen. Maybe she’s trying to explain to him that you’re not supposed to hurt people like that
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I don’t understand the whole “step” bullshit. If a man or woman married your ex and helps raise your children and is good to your children there should be no step involved. If dad is okay with it then it’s fine. Stop creating drama out of nothing.
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I dont think its a matter of whether its appropriate or not (it can be discussed in a way a 9 year old can understand) i think its more of whether or not you feel hes ready to dive in to that. If your not ok with it, it doesn’t really matter what anyone else thinks. Talk to dad AND stepmother and nicely explain you dont feel its a topic he needs to have covered right now if it makes you feel some type of way.
My opinion… Yes, it’s inappropriate. That is mom/dads job to educate your children. Not her regardless of what she talks about.
Nicely tell her to stay in her lane.
Children are perceptive to life around them and questions arise. Age-appropriate answers are just fine. This child clearly isn’t oblivious to the concept of multiple parents who love him. Nothing drastic came from it, so it’s fine. Bio mothers should stop looking for things to be upset about.
Im a stepparent and if something that is real life is brought up i address it. If it’s a serious matter I usually involve dad and will sometimes call mom to let her know so she’s not in the dark about it. Communication is important. My daughter’s stepmom has had talks with her about important life issues including how to use a tampon and it doesn’t bother me. I even called her to thank her. You’re part of a blended family and have to accept that someone else is going to have these conversations with your kids and that’s okay.
If she wasn’t going into sexual details about it then I don’t see the issue… I have a 10 a 8 a 5 and a 2 year old. I’d feel comfortable talking about any of that with all of them. And my older two are my step kids and I’d still feel comfortable. I feel like the bio parents just try and cause issues eith the step parents if they don’t get along with them.
You divorced your husband I’m assuming? Or at least split up obviously. Maybe he’s got questions about why mom and dad don’t live together anymore and she’s trying to not bash you in the process. There’s always two sides and it doesn’t seem like she’s trying to be rude. Maybe try talking to her and his dad together.
Doesn’t seem like it should be that big of an issue though.
I personally think it is inappropriate. But other hand that is something you cant control if its not your home. Best advice maybe have conversation with stepmother, if co parenting is not great. You will have to educate the child the way you would like in your home. Unfortunately you cant control things in your childs dad home once separated.
It’s real life. He hears worse from his friends. So long as she’s keeping it G rated and not “venting” to him, then it’s not hurting.
I don’t see the big deal.
I would only be upset by how much detail she went into. My 9yr old knows that having other Bf/gf while married or in a serious relationship is cheating. Theres nothing wrong with that. But she doesnt understand the sexual side of it. I would only be upset if someone explained the sexual side of it.
I would agree. Children need to be children as long as possible; reality comes far too soon. Parents need to remember they are children not ‘friends’.
At least shes keeping it real with him . When he needs to kno stuff he’ll come to her.
I feel like thats not an inappropriate subject and it may have been relevant based pn the situation, 9 isn’t a baby and probably appreciates being spoken to on a little more of a mature level. You could always have a chat with step mom about subjects you yourself are uncomfortable about and go from there as a team, Im sure she didnt mean to step on toes.
I mean if dad was there and didn’t see anything wrong with it and the kid isn’t uncomfortable about it there’s no point getting mad. I used to work with small kids and you’d be shocked by some of the conversations that went on between them sometimes 
cheating isn’t even the worst of what your son might hear about from some kid at school
Sounds like a normal conversation between a parent and a child. Get over it lady. Do you want her to treat him different or do you want her treat him like her bonus kid? If I was you I would pick the latter
He’s 9 it’s inappropriate really there was no reason for her to tell him about cheating kids don’t need to worry about that stuff and for those that say he probably knew about it from school dang I was in my 30s when I found out on a blog that she cheated I have an 11 year old girl and they don’t discuss celebrities cheating on each other and kid would not have randomly asked about real lift Edward and Bella really🤦
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You probably forget about how aware you may have been when you were 9. But 9 year olds are honestly pretty damn smart and can understand concepts like this easily without it being too overwhelming. You can’t protect your kid from reality forever.
keep in mind your son won’t feel safe telling you about what goes on over there if you make a big issue about it, pick your battles… we can’t control everything when we co-parent. He didn’t suffer any long-term damage from the experience. sorry mama, i think you need to stress less.
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In my home we are very open we talk about EVERYTHING …l feel your trying to make an issue out of nothing
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At nine some kids would think ‘I am not playing monopoly with them again’. Some would understand but try to find a personal connection. Some would think, ‘blah, blah, blah can I watch a movie in peace?’
Don’t overthink. Ask what the child thinks she ment.
All that’s going on in the world and ur worried about convos. Sorry but my children and step children we’re taught sex Ed in 5th grade. So, guess what as a mother and step mother, I talked to kiddos bout life. Grow up, sounds like u just want to cause drama. Yea, I know not favorable thing to say but life is to dam short worrying bout this crap. SMDH.
I talk to my children and bonus kids about real life stuff, they range from 8 to 15 and I have these honest conversations with all of them. Sometimes they ask hard questions and they wanna know the answers. I don’t think there is an age that’s appropriate for any real conversations, I think it has more to do with maturity and if they’ll handle what your talking about.
He probably had no idea what she was even talking about. Most boys that age aren’t even interested in girls, let alone hearing about cheating on one. He probably still thinks girls have cooties. She’ll stop telling him stuff once he starts repeating everything
Why not teach him early. My kids know absolutely everything to life I was always told mothers tales bout anything in life and to be honest I struggled in life knowing about a lot of things so I tell my kids absolutely the truth about anything. My 6 yr old twins and 7 yr old know exactly how babies are born through natural or c section. And the conversation about cheating isn’t really anything to be concerned over it’s just a conversation
I think it’s perfectly fine! You should respect her decision like she should yours as well.
Sounds like she’s just a human. As a step mom myself it’s very disheartening to not be accepted into the children’s life by their mother and always being cruella when I’m just being myself. Try and see her as human and not someone out to get your child.
It sounds like you’re just nitpicking. He probably already knows what cheating is anyways. He’s 9, not 5. You’d be surprised what school aged kids know. He’s probably heard much worse at school.
Sorry but you really cannot control what conversations are said under someone else’s roof. If the conversations bother him, you can certainly address his dad and let him know but it sounds like they bother you more for no other reason than the fact that it’s HER talking about it.
I guess it depends on how she worded it. Being that he’s only 8. Let’s be honest though, most kids will be touched by this or close to it, personally with their own parent’s. Any topic’s ok imo AS LONG AS it’s communicated age appropriately.
I’m that shitty uncle that I overly honest. One of my friends kids asked me if I had toys at home and 10 questions later were at why am I single and how come I don’t have any kids at home. I talk to everyone the same cause I grew up around adults that did the same to me.
Honestly my kids knew about all that way before 9. I keep them we’ll educated in all the things because this world is full us sick people and if I teach my kids stuff before some sleeze ball can even try to they will always know better and do better!
We can’t falsely paint picture of rainbows for our kids and expect them not to get hurt. Life is not all sunshine. I’m very honest with all of my kids and yes even my step daughter that is 7. Divorce and cheating is part of life. They will see it and clearly know you and their father divorced or split up because they have a step mom. She may be trying to comfort by showing that other ppl go through things in life and that is ok. If anything she is preparing them for the REAL world. Maybe hearing her speak about this will cause him not to ever want to cheat on anyone.
I’ve been totally honest with my kids from the start. Of course at their level and only things at the appropriate ages. I just want to prepare them for the world.
I mean, he’s already watching twilight where all this happens in the movie anyways, sex, violence, betrayal…so I’m not exactly sure what the difference is. She was watching a movie and it Segwayed into a conversation about the exact same thing. 
was she talking to your son directly? or talking to his dad in front of him so he heard? either way i dont see much of an issue im sure hes heard worse at school
Sheltering your kids will get your nowhere. Do you think that none of your son’s friends have divorced parents? It sounds like there’s more to this.
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I start sharing with my kids about as much as I could so others won’t share it in the wrong way. Since my kids have being in preschool sinxe the age of 2 they know so much stuff. My 5 year old boy had a secret girlfriend for a year in his preschool, I didn’t even knew about it!
My son was 6 when he asked me what a blow job was lmao so deff could have been a worse topic
If you don’t feel comfortable then this needs to be discussed with the father
I see no problem with it. As long as she isn’t discussing sex in detail.
Thats kinda weird id understand if he heard it elsewhere Nd was asking but for her to say all that off a movie is odd
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Why would this be inappropriate? Children have relationships from the moment they are born and learning how they work and sometimes don’t work is all a part of regular life. Open conversations like this are very good to have.
If you are ever around Kids that age when they are talking, you’d know they know. They rarely talk to their parents about it but they know and talk amongst their peers.
I’m 100% honest with my kids about things like this. So I personally wouldn’t have an issue.
It’s one thing if a child is asking questions about these subjects. But to have a conversation out of the blue, no she shouldn’t be doing that
I think u are grasping for reasons to be mad at that woman. There are way worse things she could say around the child. It’s literally a very minuscule issue what she’s saying, is even that.
Everyone has theyre own opinion, Dad was present so why would it be a big issue, to only assume she came out with both subjects & wasn’t answering questions is just what we assume. Maybe he asked dad but he didn’t know how to answer or reply, so the step mum stepped up! Seriously how is this stuff soo triggering to folk, it’s not like the step mum is abusing the child let alone slagging the mum off, sounds to me like someone possibly a little jealous of the relationship her son & step mum are building… I’m sure at nine it’s going to go in one ear and out the other… Did your child directly speak with you about the conversation or was you picking for info?.. I’m confused why these topics are so out of bounds & why is it such a big deal for a step parent to be the one who openly has the conversation/discussion.
I feel if things like this are addressed earlier in life our children could understand relationships & breakups before they get older & become withdrawn, abusive or even hide from communicating.
My son is 5 and we talk about every single walk of life… It isn’t weird at all, just be happy someone is there for your kid. But if you’ve specifically addressed it and it’s repeated then that’s the issue but the conversation themselves are not.
Well if she have gotton into too much details and made him curious about things he shouldn’t worry as a 9yr old then it might be all weird?
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My grandson is 9 and wants to talk about anything and know everything. So don’t be to hard on them .
If his dad was present and didn’t think it was inappropriate then it’s not period.
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No it’s not okay! Not only should this topic not be discussed with a 9 year old but what if he thinks it’s okay to do it when he’s old enough to understand what it is.
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It’s a movie he probably wasn’t even paying real attention to anyway and Twilight movie isn’t exactly for kids either buuutt idk did she actually tell your son that or was she talking to his father about it ?
Kids live on the world and will be exposed to lots of things we can’t control. That said, ethics of relationships should be taught by adults at home so kids can ask their questions. Infantilizing kids backfires, too. Lots of parents are uncomfortable with discussing “adult” topics with kids only to find out they sought their intel elsewhere and are doing adult things long before parents are in the know. They don’t slow their development or awareness for our comfort…so have those conversations as they come up. Find something else to get mad about. In that conversation the kid learned that being trustworthy counts. It’s a good lesson.
Kids are going to be curious and I’d rather them come to me than to someone else. I get this is a different situation, if asked I’d respectfully call or text the biological mother and talk to my husband before answering if I felt it was an adult topic. Information is easily attainable and I want my kids to come to me with their questions, curiosity
Thats so odd. I don’t think it’s something that should be brought up to a child. If they ask then you answer with what it is but gossiping about it all with a child is pretty out of line. There is a difference between being honest about things and exposing a child to something that has nothing to do with them for no reason.
I have never sugar coated anything with our kid. I’m very honest and open and now she’s 17 and doesn’t feel weird asking me literally anything. So for me, not a big deal.
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The 9 yearold will find out eventually that the world is not how children perceive it. The harsh reality is, most people go through this. And if the kid is asking questions, would you rather someone lie to them to keep them sheltered? Or tell them how it is.
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I talk to my kids about all sorts of stuff if they ask I’m honest it’s important that they know what is real life my children will not be naive or clueless. Of course I don’t go into depth or inappropriate details but if my child asked what it means when someone cheats on their bf/gf I would tell them that is when they lie to their bf/gf and seek affection from someone else behind their bf/gf back. I would then explain that it is wrong and why it is wrong.