If other family members are accepting what he’s passing around sounds like they don’t have a problem with it. 
Obviously it shouldn’t be offered to children. If you and your husband don’t like it. Don’t go around them. Invite the cousin to your house for play dates or whatever.
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Now that’s the fun uncle 
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I agree with you. Also sit down and talk to everyone. Tell them how you feel ask them if they would be willing to start the adult activities after the kids are in bed for the night. That way you get peace of mind knowing all the children are safe and the adults still get to do what they want. Compromise is key to a family.
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You’re putting this all on the boyfriend, when the whole family is accepting and using his drugs…
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Its kinda crazy I would never do all this around my kids or someone else’s that kinda stuff is for around adults only
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Well no. That is not ok. However, why are you only mad at the boyfriend, it sounds as if the whole family is partaking, they aren’t innocent.
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I wouldn’t go around any of them. I definitely wouldn’t have my children around them. They’re all ok with doing drugs around their children, so I would avoid them completely
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If you drop the SIL you have to drop everyone a who accepted the crap from him too.
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You are right. He is presenting dangerous and illegal behavior. Protecting your children is most important.
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Your boundaries are your boundaries and you’re entitled to whatever makes you feel safe. If this behavior isn’t tolerable to you then it’s on you to avoid these situations. You can’t dictate other people’s behavior or the acceptance of it, but you can remove yourself from the situation.
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Sounds like buddy’s the fun uncle. I got one of those and believe me, what you see others don’t. People look down on my uncles but I know that if I need advice or someone to just listen they’re always there and understand anything without judgements.
You do know your own kids could be taken because of knowingly having them around drugs right? If cops were to raid that house, all of your kids would be in danger of being taken. What’s wrong with you? Is this a serious question? Drugs and family relationships DO NOT mean more than your children. Allowing this as long as you have with your kids around it, is almost as bad as doing the drugs yourself. Anything could happen while ppl are high like that. Wtf🤦🏼♀️
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I find it hard to believe that he’s using hard dr ugs at a kid and family event but ok
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Call the cops on them. That will cause the passing of drugs in front of minors to stop.
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It seems to me that the SIL has the issue here since she seems more concerned about getting high and doing whatever than being a genuine family where kids are involved and in no way, shape, matter, or form would I ever being attending a situation like this where I knew ahead of time what was going to be happening and even risk putting any child in that kind of situation to begin - sorry sweetie but you have got a family that doesn’t have their priorities in order but I do commend you for trying to keep your kids safe and out of the drug world and staying away from such things is the first and best step you could make.
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Why are you only blaming the boyfriend? When it sounds like more then half the family is doing it too? Yea he’s bringing it but if he didn’t one of the others would. So Blame them all not just the one.
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The only problem I would have with this would be… What if the kids got ahold of any of it by accident but no one noticed? That’s scary.
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Okay but he is not the only problem because there are other people willingly taking the drugs. I wouldn’t bring my kids around anyone who is doing drugs like that.
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Sounds like your family got down on the party favors. You gonna call the cops on them too?
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Yeah… Doing that around the kids would piss me off. To no end…
And I’d run my mouth to DSS and the cops.
What if a child gets assaulted? Or worse…
Look, adukts can do as they please.
When they do that around children, I have massive issue with it. 
Why is this just the boyfriend issue? He wouldn’t bring it, if it wasn’t ok. Sooo. Your anger tho reasonable is directed at the wrong person.
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Distance yourself for the safety of your kids
The whole family is a bunch or addicts just dont go over there anymore
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What the actual flying fuck?!
Recently there was a police report in the news of a 2 year old toddler and 10 month old baby who nearly died because of Fentanyl laced drugs. Fortunately the police officer on the scene, picked up the lifeless baby and had narcan and administered it to the baby saving his life. Both were transported to the hospital and survived. People using drugs are unpredictable as well as pushing the boundaries of safety. If your focus is on safety, it’s best not to be around the drugs. Your children will be observant and May think you are complicit. Most often children imitate what they see more often then imitate what they have heard. I would express how much you love your family and the best things about them as well as your growing discomfort of the use of drugs around your children. Obviously you can’t force them to stop but you can ask for the respect of putting the drugs away until you leave for the night. If they don’t respect what you have said then you will begin to understand what is important to them. Be strong in love! Read about the characteristics of love and also search articles describing the effect of drug use in front of children.
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You can’t dictate what others do. The simple solution is remove yourself from the suitation. Problem solved. Seems like your the only one with an issue. Would you like a tissue!? 
Yea he’s bad news but clearly so is the rest of the family… I mean rotations via the bathroom? Are you kidding me? There is zero chance I’d be attending anything at that home family or not… and if I were you I’d distance myself quick… also start spreading that blame accordingly and not solely on the guy who brings it… if no one else was taking part he’d be null and void
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Normally I wouldn’t care but if he’s doing all this with kids around, I’d call the cops on his ass. What if he dropped a pill and one of the kids picked it up and ate it? Hell no. Call the cops at the next event and have his ass arrested and never attend another event. Clearly all the other adults have no regards for the kids and their safety.
Absolutely NOT!!! I would move far away from all of them. Sooner or later something bad is going to happen at one of these events and you don’t want to be there.
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I’m not sorry for saying that I Iove my family, however my kids take priority , it’s my job to protect them at all costs. If there were drugs being pushed around while we were there I would leave PERIOD!!!
Definitely speak up This guy is endangering adults as well as children. Think of the addictions he is starting and those who will become his clients Think of the dangers, overdose, driving. Visit with the kids in another setting. Drugs main and kill
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I just wouldn’t have my kids around that kind of drug use. You can’t tell them what to do though so it’s best you remove yourself and your children from that side of the family. You also should be equally mad at everyone partaking around kids as you are sil bf for bringing it.
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My husband and I decided to remove most of our family from our lives for very similar reasons. We cut out family from both sides. Our 7 adult children have made their own decisions to do the same. We are currently living a drama free life. We have a small circle of friends that are true friends. They are more like family to us. We can still love our family without living their lifestyle. We just bought a house and no one knows where it is, everyone is blocked on all social media, all of our accounts are set to private and the few we talk to doesn’t give out any information about us. We are living happier than we’ve ever been. It wasn’t easy in the beginning, but trust me it gets easier over time. Our children were more important though. I didn’t want my children to think that that’s a way of life. This is only something you can decide for your family, but please always put your children First! Good luck to you! 
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You know it isn’t. So why are you asking?
I’m that petty person that would call the cops and tell them I am a neighbor and would like to report that someone there has drugs.
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It honestly seems like that’s ok at your family events.
My family isn’t like that but obviously that’s what you married into.
I would stop going to family events though if that was my husband’s family.
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A family full of drug addicts? Nope say goodbye to all of them. Forever.
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Sometimes you need a lil extra to deal with family
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I removed my sister from my life for this very reason. I do not tolerate drug use or sexual gestures/advances around my children or me. I’m pretty chill and open about everything…. Now I do drink and occasionally use marijuana medically when my children are in bed but anything stronger is a hard ass no (go ahead Karen’s and come at me! 
). If your family can not accept your feelings and boundaries on this then they do not need to be apart of your life. Plain and simple.
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I totally understand not wanting your family around that crap, But you did say he passes it out, meaning other Family members are participating, So Who’s to say other Family members aren’t asking him to bring that crap with him. My problem would be with EVERYONE who had this crap around kids.
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It is illegal to have drugs around kids. If I remember correctly, it’s a charge for child endangerment or neglect. If anything ever happened or officials randomly showed up for whatever reason, you could be held liable as well. You are absolutely doing the right thing by removing yourself and your children from this situation. If they cannot respect your sobriety and protecting your kids, you have no reason to respect their addictions. idgaf what happens with family who do not have the best interest in mind for my kids or any other kid in their company. You wanna party, cool… responsibly and without kids anywhere close. Period.
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Disown that trash family and make a life with just your husband, kids and yourself, your kids deserve not to be around that trash.
Remove yourself and your children. As far as him handing the drugs out, the other adults are on the drugs too or it would not be accepted. I just don’t see a man passing the drugs out like that because drugs are expensive. He just may be that side of the families drug dealer but whatever he is it is never acceptable to be doing those things in front of children…
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I have the same type of family. And heck no! Disconnect from them! Reach out to other family and start your own gatherings if possible. Someone will get drunk and misplace a pill, or a kid will put their hand in some powder left on a surface. High people cannot be trusted to keep a safe environment for children, they can barely keep themself safe. I used to be a druggie, now I set high boundaries with drug addict family members for my kids sake. It’s tough but has to be done.
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It’s not your party so it’s not your business if you don’t want your kids to be around that then don’t go.
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Stand your ground, for your children and the other children who’s parents obviously aren’t concerned about their wellbeing
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I am confused so you were ok with it for the past 6 years but now your not?
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Nope. Zero tolerance for anyone who is high or has drugs. You don’t need to be around them any more than kids do.
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What in the world.
Cut that toxic family out.
Whew. This was too much for me.
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I am that type of person that wouldn’t even think twice and call the cops on the party the moment anything was pulled out. Don’t care who hates me, I think of kids first
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Sounds like you’re the only one with a problem.
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So definitely not. But even more worrisome, what if some of the drugs were dropped or put down carelessly in that state and the children accessed them?
Lots of layers here.
Hoping you are able to distance from such a toxic experience
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He and your whole family are addicts…Don’t jus blame him
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The family is ridiculous for asking you to ignore it. You are already trying way harder than most people would when drugs are involved.
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Just call the cops next time. Let them know who had the drugs and the parents that are on them will have to answer for their poor decisions. Honestly let’s stop worrying about the adult consequences bc these kids are out here with high parents
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An adult only party they can do what they want but otherwise clarify “no drugs”. Seriously how is this even a question?
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I won’t even go to a family gathering with kids if people r drinking, so NO u should not put ur feelings aside at all. Tell ur family it’s either the drugs or u and ur kids. Make them choose. Honestly if I was there with my kids I would have called the cops a long time ago. It’s crazy that u have been putting up with it for 6 yrs. Start ur own family traditions and keep ur babies safe
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This is very disturbing to say the least. I would be putting my kids first and fore most. Sometimes you just have to walk away from family. What if something goes wrong and the police are involved? Is it worth loosing your kids? Your taking that chance with each function you attend
NO, unless you indulge in the treats. Then your children will follow your lead.
Um no! If the police came over there and saw that, you could be in danger of losing them! I had to give up the one person in my family I was MOST closest to over stuff like that!
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I dont understand why you only balme him and dislike him
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Stop going to the family events! Do you realize that if the police showed up, every adult there would get hauled to jail for being in a place where drugs are being used? And even worse yet, any adult who takes their child there would probably be facing child endangerment charges and losing their child? If you know this is how they behave then why would you go??!!
I’ve always though that drugs or alcohol doesn’t need to be needed at family functions to enjoy time together. Luckily my family drinks responsibly and in moderation during our functions but drugs are never allowed at least on my moms property when we’re there. I too would be irritated if I had to deal with this at family functions. Your feelings are definitely valid.
first question
answer is nooo
not even read the rest
just no ffs NO
Don’t drop your feelings. RUN as fast as you can. Family isn’t blood. Family is those who cherish you, your family, and respect your boundaries. Period.
You can’t help addicts who don’t want help. It’s heartbreaking, but true. Good luck!
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No mama bear, take care of your family first!
Everyone accepting the drugs and himself are addicts and should be made to face the consequences for exposing kids to such! But you can’t find an entire family of addicts alone can you?
So, putting down your foot to protect your children is the right thing to do. If you have to avoid the entire events to save your kids, go ahead and do so. The kids, your life and husband’s are most important and your peace of mind too. Don’t ignore… Stay away if you have to or attend without your kids and spend less time with them. They could decide to spoke your drink or food one day just to get at you or your entire family. Be careful
Hard pass for me. All adults in the equation accepting the goods and consumption of them are free to choose to do so. You’re also free to choose what is best and safest for your family. If it were me I would not participate in any family functions/events were this drugs being passed out issue is taking place. I would simply restructure my life and start new traditions for my own little family and invite other like-minded friends or relatives whose company I enjoy and whom I feel safe around.
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Ummmm…after the first round… I wouldn’t be going back at all. Set boundaries. Healthy ones. Or be ready to send your kids to foster homes and possibly lose them for good.
You do NOT have to accept anyone or anything that is toxic or has a negative impact on you or your children.
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If the Police show up your children are in jeopardy, we wouldn’t be attending any more family functions if drugs are around. Your kids will be fine even if they can’t see their cousins it’s not safe bottom line.
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Do what you need to do, to keep your family safe. Just think what would happen if something dangerous fell out of his pocket, and your little one picked it up and ate it. Being around people doing these things is not only unsafe for your children but not good for you and your hubby. Stay away!!
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By continuing to engage in behavior that you are not ok with, they have made it clear they are ok losing relationships. You need to be more vocal and stop letting things slide. If they want that lifestyle, that’s perfectly fine, but keep it away from people who don’t want to participate, especially kids. Silence is permission and everyone in the family allowing this and participating is an issue.
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Set boundaries! Protect those kids! Call DHS, addiction is awful. Using in front of children poor them in danger. If you see this and don’t report it you are going to have a guilty conscience if something bad happens to those babies/children while in the care of adults under the influence when you could have done something! Report the danger to Department of human services or DCFS using the hotline - you can remain anonymous but investigations will happen to evaluate the danger the children are in! Have events at your house and when someone shows up high or they get to leave or if you see drugs you call the cops then and there!
I would not attend. I have been sober 12 years from alcohol and come from a strong Irish drinking family. I do not attend most functions with my child or myself when I know for sure everyone will be drunk. I personally can not stand drunk ppl or the smell so it’s my choice. I am not anti alcohol at all I’m just present with what will be happening and attend only its really needed. My family understands this and I’m blessed. With that said if it’s never OK with you, then all though they should be asked to leave you may have to take care of you and yours and stay away. You are in my thoughts today. It does seem unfair.
WTF?! Call the cops! You don’t want your kids or the other kids in danger but you have repeatedly let this crap slide? It seems like you have a good head on your shoulders so you already know what to do.
If it were me, I’d call the f@#$_ing cops.
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Why would you want to go to a party where drugs are being served up as party favors?. If u like having these family get together host them yourself and tell this guy no drugs or the police will be called. Also have u ever said anything to him like hey my kids are here what are you doing trying to catch a drug charge?. At 1 of my aunts houses they have a lot of family get together but I never go to them because they don’t respect my no smoking rule in front of my son and I mean no smoking anything not even a cigarette and they don’t respect that so we don’t go.
I would stay as far away as I could your children mean more and if your boyfriend or husband is taken drugs stay away from him also children mean more and they need to be safe anything can happen when a person is on drugs
Stay far away. From all of them. If they all don’t see the problem then they are the problem.
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It’s not normal, but my family always did drugs at family events too
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I would cut them off. Drugs around my kids is a huge no. I don’t care who you are, we won’t be there if there are drugs present.
This so simple, don’t go, don’t be around them yourself and especially allow your children near them! Never allow them in your home either.
Your gut feeling is right. And imagine if the cops showed up. I’m sure child protective services would be involved. You knowingly stayed… a bad situation all around. It’s okay to let go of toxic people in your life. Family or not….
This isnt a him problem uts a whole family problem.
No. Protect your kids!
Why havent you called the cops of this guy?
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Your problem isn’t the boyfriend; it’s the WHOLE family. Protect your kids and screw their feelings. My question is why do you continue to let yourself and your kids around them knowing they are drug users?
What I want to know is “WHY” have you allowed it to be around your children all of these years and why do you need permission from complete strangers to set some healthy boundaries if not for you,then at least for your babies ??? Asking for myself as well as a friend!! 
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I would go no contact with everyone who is participating in the shenanigans. Keep your kids away from these people.
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Certainly not. You are in the right here. I’m totally against drugs non perscription, especially around children. You need to protect your children if you don’t who will? If your SIL backs her bf then sod her!
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100% I would not put my kids in an environment where there are drugs. If this was me, I wouldn’t be attending such events if I knew this was happening and if my family didn’t like it then that tells me all I need to know. If adults want to take drugs that’s their choice but it’s not acceptable when children are around imo.
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Well every family has that one person that will have a joint on them or a couple pills or even a lil bit of coke…my view is if they don’t do anything embarrassing and if they are nice enough to share leave them fucking to it, your family would be boring without them.
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There is no way I would put my kids in this situation. Who knows when they would encourage the children to participate. This is so wrong and I would let them know it.
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It’s the brother in laws fault that the rest of your family takes his drugs? I’m not understanding why only he is the problem.
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Of course it’s not “appropriate” but it sounds like there are many others participating in what’s going on. If you don’t want to start a huge family battle, you’re doing the best you can by leaving with your own family.
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Sounds like the whole family is toxic and drug addicted . You sound normal and like you recognize the wackiness of what they do . Avoid family events . Sometimes the best way to protect your kids is to avoid the things you want to protect them from .
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By all means NO! If u let it continue as your children grow up they will think drugs are ok! Hurt feeling or not I would Not take my children anywhere with such behavior!
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I think you are doing what you feel is best for YOU and YOUR family , Continue to leave early . Continue to keep your children out of reach . They see things , they’ll get curious.
The other adults might be perfectly fine with things , they might not mind their children potentially being exposed , or mistakenly seeing things . Continue to worry about your immediate household and refrain from spreading hate / negative reflections regarding the SIL Bf to others. They Seem Perfectly ok with him and his extracurricular activities and mama bear that should not bother or have anything to do with you 
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Thank you for being a responsible parent. Not everyone puts their children first. Your doing the right thing by them. Their safety should come first. Just a quick look at the news should tell you how damaging drugs can be for our precious little ones.
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It sounds like the problem is with more than him he isn’t forcing people into using drugs they are all adults participating and as far as his gestures go yes out of line but the drug situation everyone is at fault not just him so address everyone not just him you know cause the whole “bathroom rotation “
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I feel as you do that this is totally inappropriate behavior. I would protect my family first and foremost. Having said that, I feel you should tell each adult in your family in a non argumentative way that you simply feel this is inappropriate and that is why you are choosing to stay away. Have you talked to others about your feelings? Some of them may feel the same. Invite the cousins to your house so they still have contact with your kids.