I didn’t even continue reading this, NEVER acceptable. My brother in law is in the ICU right now & isn’t going to make it cause of an ecstasy overdose now he’ll never even be able to go to another family event high or not. Never acceptable get him help.
As there is no little or more alcoholic, so called leisure use of drugs is not without consequences. You either use or not. There is no way to protect and teach your children what is wrong and what is right without giving them the right example to follow. There is no way to hid the family secrets. They show their true side in the most unfortunate moments. Have a happy solution
Personal story…I’m 47 and I can remember back to when I was little and being in situations with drunk and high family around. I get anxious when certain memories pop up-I remember being scared and nervous. REMOVE YOUR KIDS FROM THESE PEOPLE BECAUSE THEY ARE SEEING AND HEARING MORE THAN YOU REALIZE!!!
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Drugs bought at the shop = ok to pass around in front of children (alcohol)
Drugs not bought at the shop = omg how dare they even think about it in the presence of children
Sorry but that’s how it comes across. Ofc they shouldn’t be “weird” regardless if that comes from alcohol or “other substances”. Too much focus on the legality of said substance VS “intoxication”
No way just completely skip that family function altogether !!! Don’t put your hands on my kids in any way with your drugs .Ill rip your heart out . I’m mama bear and seeing you just ain’t worth it !
My kids would not go near a family gathering. Any family that values my relationship with them enough would be willing to come to me, drug free, for a visit. If not, then I don’t mean enough to them to even consider putting my family at risk in an ILLEGAL drug situation. If they love drugs more than you then why risk anything for them?
No, TITLES don’t matter, Mom…Dad, brother, SIL…bad is bad and wrong is wrong. Block everything, Leave it alone and never look back. You are grown you don’t have to explain a thing. People think because someone is Mom, Dad, SIL etc that they have to stay or put up with gross behavior, you don’t. People aren’t concerned obviously and they will live their lives with or without you. So, leave it and never look back. Whoever stands in the way of you/your children’s well being in any way, must go.
The fact that your family has been putting up with this for six years is absolutely crazy. I would stay away especially since you have young kids! His behavior should never have been tolerated for so long.
Your job is to protect your kids. If you’re not comfortable with them being around him, there’s a reason. By no means am I a prude but my kid was never exposed to those types of people, when it was time to party he was not around if he was we left. You’re on the right track mama
Can’t speak for others but if that shit was happening around any children while I was there your SIL boyfriend would be picking up his teeth and having to eat through a straw.
Children don’t need to be around that shit and any parent who turns a blind eye to it shouldn’t have kids.
There’s no way I’d put my feelings aside in this case. And there’s no way you should have to leave early. Everyone needs to be told that this behaviour is inappropriate and intolerable during a family occasion involving everyone’s children. But…why would they need to be told?
Why are you only holding him responsible? It sounds like they all need to be held accountable. I’m all for fun and doing that shit on your own time, with no kids around.
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You know right from wrong you know what goes on you should not have brought your children there you shouldn’t be asking people what to do if you bring your kids back there you are worse then they are grow up
These people need to get off their high horse. Alcohol is a drug, and is waaaaay more harmful for you than some shrooms. Should consenting adults refuse to drink a beer at family functions? People are so quick to judge. Just keep an eye on your little ones & all should be fine. It’s not like the OP said heroine/meth… That is seriously dangerous and shouldn’t be used around children ever. But that is not happening from what I’ve gathered.
Ate you seriously asking this question? If you don’t know that all the fore mentioned is WRONG, then you might have a problem. My children are my world, if ANYONE ever put them in a harmful situation then that’d be the end of that relationship even if it was family. In a way you’re at fault too because you knowingly know what goes on at these parties and you choose to attend once again putting you’re children at risk. You know it’s wrong so many up and do the right thing. KEEP YOUR CHILDREN SAFE!!!
Is your entire family doing drugs? If everyone is OK with it, it’s doubtful you will be able to make any changes other than not attend. I would think very carefully about my children aunt this behavior as acceptable by their family. It’s just a matter of time before someone pulls them into it.
What!!!
Dangerous place to be. IMO
Leave.
Stimulating environments are good for children AND adults.
Wholesomeness solidifies a nourishing experience.
Fixed Boundaries ensure safety among humans. Without safety one cannot open to a healthy experience of life because they sense danger and become defended (closed).
It may look like they’re having fun but their nervous system is pulling out all stops to protect itself. Trauma is occurring.
Be wise.
Learn about the Polyvagal Theory.
It’s very helpful.
Pretty simple really - it seems your whole family engages in drug use.
Either accept it, or don’t…
It’s also called ‘Dob A Druggie’
One phone call will have him raided and on the police radar.
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If you’re going to be mad at your SIL’s so then you should be mad at everyone who’s doing it and putting kids in danger. I’d stop going to family functions.
No, you have very right to remove yourself and your family from toxic situations, whether it’s extended family or not.
Hello the family is doing drugs!!! This day he may have shared,more then likely this is their normal.Dont take ur kids where ppl do drugs. U cant n wrong for not going there.
To be fair, he might be bringing it, but your all taking it. Sounds like most of your family need to sort their lives out.
Sounds like the adults just want to party and the kids being there is an afterthought. They’d probably prefer there are no kids there.
Host a cousin play date at your house?
Imma suggest you take some of whatever boyfriend has, and have a great time with family!
NTA… your whole family sucks. There is a time and place and these types of drugs they are using can cause extreme hallucinations and irrational thinking… this isn’t smoking a joint or having a glass of wine after the kids are in bed… these are hard and dangerous drugs and your family could get their kids taken away just from having them in their possession around their kids let alone partaking in them. This is extremely irresponsible and concerning. It would be one thing if it was an adult only party… fine, whatever… but while the children are in the house?! No. Nta… protect yourself and your children and keep them far from these activities and people. I’m sorry. It would really suck to just want to get the kid’s together, hang out with your loved ones, and have a family friendly gathering and then have to deal with this…
Have it at your house and set the rules. Let all know ahead of time.
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If that guy wasn’t invited there w/b no drugs. Are the guests driving home high? Toxic. I would stop going, especially since kids see more than you think. They will thank you one day.
I would never expose my kids to any get together where drugs are the norm. If we want our kids to understand that drugs are first and foremost illegal and for good reason, we must set the example. If it is perceived that drugs are the norm in your kids family, they will eventually think they are OK and do them too. Try having times when you can get the cousins together without the folks who think drug use is the norm at get togethers.
If you don’t feel comfortable just be up front and honest and say you won’t attend where drugs are being handed out with kids around. I think the thing to consider here is that these kids are being exposed to drugs at young ages and that means there could be a moral obligation to stop it
Plan a drug free event, don’t invite sil unless she arrives sans BOYFRIEND by letting her know why you are doing this. Let other family members know early enough to allow them to make their minds up and remember, NO HARD FEELINGS REGARDLESS OF WHICH EVENT EACH FAMILY CHOOSES.
Absolutely not! Stay away from him and the people who
Behave like him. You don’t need them in your life and neither do your children
X
I wouldnt attend again especially if they are doing it with children present…simple, either turn your back on it or do the right thing and report the drug deals!
You know what’s ironic, you’re blaming your SIL boyfriend but it’s your whole family doing it. They all willingly go to the bathroom together and they all willingly partake in the drug use. Don’t just blame him its everyone and if you have an issue just do not go anymore
You need to just not go. The family doesn’t mind clearly. You can’t tell other adults what’s acceptable or not you just remove yourself from the environment. Simple. (Involving the police is wild to me. )
So you mean to tell me EVERYBODY but you and your husband are getting high and you only have a problem with SIL’s boyfriend? Granny and Pawpaw get high too? This story sounds suspect.
This is a no brainer,just stop going,leave when he gets there or at an appropriate time,definitely leave if he start passing out samples definitely protect your children and just don’t go,but if you see him give drug to a minor,like 12 yr old you may what to call the correct people
Oh I actually laughed.
If this is true, he isn’t forcing them to do it. Your family is willingly doing it too. You really have a few options.
- Contact local authorities
- Suck it up buttercup and keep your kids close when visiting
- Stop going to family functions
You can’t be mad at just him when there are multiple people partaking.
they’re adults and they’re making their choices.
You need to make yours.
Just state your reasons for feeling uncomfortable and let them know you won’t be coming to future gatherings if it continues. Say that you are uncomfortable even having those drugs in the house where the kids are. Tell them you would love to get the kids together at your place or out for adventures, etc
It’s so sad that we live in a world where someone has to ask the question, is it appropriate bring ecstasy to a party, with kids, GEEEEEEEEZZZZZ, that needs to be asked??? 
Why is your sister in law & her boyfriend allowed at family stuff in the first place? We have a very strong “no drugs around kids” rule. We have friends that do that and I dont care if that’s something you do/use. But you will not show up anywhere high off your face or bring drugs to where kids are present. Especially not my own. That’s something I would make very clear.
I would stop going to family events if they are there. Schedule some time for a playdate with cousins or something where they’re not invited.
Also reprimand your family! They seem to allow it and even share in it (even when kids are around). You need to hold everyone to the same standard. Family or not- drugs around kids are a big no for me and I’m pretty sure it’s illegal (both police wise & CPS wise). Sometimes u gotta put the kids first, even if their own parent won’t. Take their kids home too and if they cause issues call the police. It’s reckless endangerment and you wont be in any trouble with the law for removing kids from that situation
From what you say, your SIL has to be your husband’s sister. Your husband needs to talk to his parents & his sister & set the time that y’all need to leave. He should also tell them that, if they don’t adhere to the time set, y’all will just have to see them individually because you don’t want your children (or yourselves) or in that dangerous/illegal/disrespectful environment.
Are you sure he’s her boyfriend and not simply the friendly family drug dealer? I mean the kids get Easter Baskets, and the grown ups get to do ecstasy hunts in the bathroom 
They are shameful first of all drugs are illegal it’s so irresponsible to do them second of all when they are around children it becomes and endangerment issue their kids and your kids could be taken away from you all and maybe should be for them
I would just tell her but even better your husband should put his foot down with his family about the drugs and what a bad example to children
It comes down to priorities; your kids and their future, or upsetting a few people. You have the responsibility for your children. Doesn’t seem a hard choice for a mother.
Sounds like other family members are enjoying the party life.
Go early…leave early…
I would never take my kids to a party or group of relatives who think drugs are OK.
One has the right to leave immediately any place when one’s safety and health are in harm’s way or when one is not out of or not in the right place.
I feel like this is fake no one just gives out free things like that 
and if your family participates it’s not just his fault 
but the weird sexual stuff is of course and issue and that should be more the focus
Get away from that shite if only for the sake of your children there are people who dont fcuk about with stuff like that ,it never ends well
Sounds like you’re living in a mashup of The Big Chill and Alice’s Restaurant. Stick to your guns. You’re right.
Trust your instincts. Always.
Yea no. Anyone who is willingly around with drugs being present with their kids doesn’t matter if they are partaking or not is subject to child endangerment and should be arrested.
You are absolutely doing the right thing. Kids are introduced to drugs from their peers soon enough they don’t need this done at family functions where your kids should be safe from that crap. You can always get the degenerate arrested. If he was around me he would definitely be in jail by now.
Sounds like a great family party to me 
You r right! I always put the kids first, I don’t care what other people think.
Stop going …if you want your kids to mix with their cousins, do it at your house… Problem solved.
In my opinion…your family can do as they please, but I would not have my kids around the drugs. I would leave at the first sign of drugs. If CPS every was involved in your life their knowledge of this could cost you your kids. I also wouldn’t want my kids to see this casual acceptance of doing drugs. As they get older they will rationalize it as being no big deal. If your family can’t understand this it’s their problem.
I also suggest you attend a sexual assault support group and listen to the survivor stories of being assaulted at young age by family member/friends of family. It can happen in the blink of an eye.
Those parties sound like the best kid parties ever…send an invite lol
Your doing the right thing you protecting yourself and your family I’d do exactly the same
The others have been doing it a lot longer then the boyfriend has been around and you just only noticed it now so… with how little you noticed and just realized with the boyfriend around they must not be posing a danger to anyone or something would’ve happened already 
Unless they’re offering them to the kids, doing them infront of the kids, the kids are expressing their concerns and feel in danger, or someone becomes a danger to themselves and others while under the influence I don’t see why you just can’t tell them that you’re going to leave early every event or not come at all because you’re uncomfortable with it.
Unless it’s meth, heroin, or bath salts- calm down. Seriously. There’s more important drugs out there to actually be this concerned with, what you mentioned is laughable. Being drunk is worse then what you mentioned. You also haven’t mentioned any offering to the kids or if anyone has ever made a scene or became a danger, so I’m assuming it’s everyone minding their own buisness and you’re just watching from the background like some Spy Karen thinking she just got the biggest bust ever, when really it’s just reality as there’s no such thing as a 100% clean family event. Someone is always on something, smoking something, or drinking. Go to a family function with real drug addicts then tell us how you feel compared to your situation. The kids at those events need your concern more then your sheltered kids do. Your kids get the blessing of the adults taking it to the bathroom and keeping their shit together. Real drug addicts don’t give a shit where they do it nor whose near them and you know that 99% of the time the cops will be called at some point.
You also can’t call the cops nor CPS unless you have substantial proof or something happens. I’ve been that Karen. Even if you tell the cops that you saw x-person take drugs they will ask if you or anyone else is in danger. If not, then they’ll have you call back when you are. They may or may not sit by outside down the road and try to catch one as they drive away but that’s the most they’ll do unless someone is causing issues. CPS won’t come immediately either unless law enforcement calls them, they’ll schedule a welfare check instead- which is pointless for you since nothing is wrong with your kids and the people in question are not children. If they don’t have kids and aren’t actively posing as a danger either they can’t do anything aside from taking note.
Again, you do have the choice to attend these things. You don’t have to. You also have a mouth that produces a voice. Speak to your family about this and express your concerns. If you want a clean family event then maybe you host one and exclaim that it will be 100% drug and alcohol free (because if you’re against drugs you’re against drinking as alcohol is substance you can be addicted to) and see how that goes. If you don’t want to do that, then stop talking to them because there’s not much else you can do aside from ignoring them and leaving the events early 
Don’t attend; find other ways to get around family members outside the party atmosphere. We lead our kids by example as role models.
Why do u keep going back and subjecting your family. To this sick SHIT SHOWDo not go again
Why are you even posting this question here? The choice should be obvious.
Just because you are related to someone, doesn’t mean you have to put up with this.
It’s time to stop fishing and cut bait.
This is absolutely inappropriate on so many levels and DHR should probably be involved.
Sometimes you have to lose to really win. Protect your children!
I would stop attending these gatherings. Your kids will otherwise start partaking behind your backs.
Seriously though, I would cut ties with that side of the family at least when it comes to family events. What if a neighbor calls the cops? Then most of the family will get arrested right in front of their kids! If they do this at Holiday celebrations with their kids what the heck do they do when their kids aren’t around? 
Leave and inform the police what’s going on. What’s going on is illegal and everyone knows that. If they get arrested they have nobody to blame but themselves. Let the chips fall where they may
No you are absolutely right, stay away from that mess.
Stay away. Why in the hell would anyone put their children in a situation they see as dangerous? Just don’t go.
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I can’t believe you even question this. Get some normal friends and leave the low life family.
You seriously have to ask this question wow. Get him help.
Nope you are right to stay away
Yeah …my family isn’t like this so I can’t relate lol
Boy, that’s a tough one! If they apparently disregard the meaning of Easter, what’s the use of going on Easter?
No. Stick to your guns. Who wants there kids exposed to all that. Adults can do that crap without kids around
Assert dominance and bring heroin and show them who the real party animal is!
And your family allows this watch out for the children so damn sad
Host your own holiday party’s, avoid whom you want. Really what is the question here? You blame the BF for every however SIL allows it, other’s participate. Disengage.
Stay away from him, and keep your family away too !! If anyone wants to know why , tell them !!
Safety of your children comes 1st. Your on the money dont apologize
Sounds like the sister-in-law is your husband sister right? You didn’t say how your husband feels about this.
Toxic toxic toxic Put on a shelf and walk away!!!@
Omg this is horrible! Where? Where is this party? I need to know where!
The kids’ welfare is more important. Leave as soon as you sense something is wrong.
This shouldn’t even be a question. Cut them off.
No you shouldn’t. That is not the type of person to be around your kids
when you tell them of the event to come tell them its a sober event drug up ppl will be sent homr
I don’t even understand why you’re with the guy
I can’t believe this is even a question.
Not sure why you need to ask!!!
you aren’t wrong. he has endangered people. and the family has allowed it. if you genuinely feel that he’d endangering other kids- report him. report them too for allowing him in their homes and to pass out the drugs and endanger their children too. Beyond that- the relationship isn’t going to change. it’s toxic. cut it out of your life.
I would not say appropriate or legal
Keep your kids as far away from that as you can.
Your doing the right thing,
Who just has enough shrooms and ex to just pass around …
I would not go out with a guy that did drugs
I agree with you and I think this guy should be told the rule is no drugs until after a certain hour and not with kids around! Others seem to be OK with buying or taking drugs from him, that’s their business! I don’t think it’s wrong for you to express how you feel because you have every right and since you mention his inappropriate sexual gestures and comments, what your kids see and hear is your business and if you and other adults find him offensive also, , too bad for him and your SIL!! If he’s such an ass that he thinks he can do as he pleases anytime he wants and doesn’t have to respect others -BS!