Is it harder being a working mom or a stay at home mom?

I hate this question. I have been both. They are both very difficult in different ways. We also don’t mom shame. Either way we are killing it as moms! So to all you mamas out there, you rock! :heart:

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I would say that being a working mum is definitely harder!
They say a man of all trades is a master of none!
I felt like this, as a working mum! I could never give 100% to either being a mum or my job, although I wore myself out, trying!
I really envy my sons’ partner, who has been able to put her career on hold to be at home with her young children! (I know this is not an option for many!)
In comparison with my daughters who have to juggle work and childcare, my son and his family are much happier! My sons partner is very creative, and does a lot of interesting activities, and the children seem better for it!

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I loved being a stay at home mom and housewife! It was the best time I have ever had. But I also like working. In my opinion, working has been harder for me because I feel guilty for not being able to spend that time on my kiddo. But my husband has really helped out with doing so much more with him (picking up the slack since I get way less time with him) and taking care of the house and dinner every night since I work so much later than him. But that is just how it is for me. Of course it will be different for others.

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Equal. When I was a working mum, the stress of kids at daycare, taking time off for illness, was so hard, my job suffered and it hurt. And then you still had to do the nighttime stuff. Being a stay at home mum now is also hard because I don’t get that break, that social interaction, it’s 24/7 toddlers and babies and school and playgroups. It’s isolating.
Mum’s are amazing

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For me, being a stay at home mom was and is so much harder. I struggle with feeling isolated and I feel stagnant as far as my career. When I was a working mom it was hard too. I missed my baby. I was worried that I would miss her milestones-and I struggled with PPD. But I was so fulfilled as far as being able to be someone other than mom.

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For me personally, I think staying home would be harder. I LOVE my son, but he can be a handful. I love my career and think that working for me and my family personally gives us a great family dynamic

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I’ve done both, and sometimes it felt like I had to " sacrifice one" to benifit the other, if I didn’t work financially we suffered, if I did work I was constantly worrying about the kids ( I had/ have four), since I really didn’t have much help, in addition the yard work, housework, helping with homework, doctor appointments, get calls from the school if one got sick, my employer threatening to let me go if I continued to miss any more days…it was tough. I didn’t get a social life or breaks, however, I kept focused and not bitter about it but disheartened, even today ( kids are now in their 20’s and 30’s. and doing good), so we got the better end at least. As far as one being harder than the other, it really doesn’t need to be, just do what you do, try not to compare to anyone, you’ll ace it, and become the better person because of it​:heart::heart::heart:

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They’re both hard and they both come with guilt and stress. Do whatever works best for you and your family. If you feel under appreciated either way talk to your partner. I’m a stay at home mum and I love it but I struggle with loneliness and find it mentally exhausting sometimes. There’s no breaks and very little adult company. But when I did work I feel I missed out on all the little moments that made up my day and I want to be the one that’s always there for them. Plus childcare is hard to organise and this arrangement suits us best. Neither is harder than the other in general but maybe one will suit each individual more than the other.

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I’ve had both titles and they’re equally as hard!

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I’m sorta both…I’m a working mom that brings my son with me. I get paid to do people’s shopping and it allows me to bring my son with me. Personally I love it. I don’t trust strangers watching him so daycare is out of the question. But there are days when its hard cuz yes I no longer get alone time but I wouldn’t change it.

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Both are hard in their own ways. But personally, SAHM is harder in more ways. Physically, mentally, emotionally, psychologically. I worked RV for a while that includes waking up at 3:30 AM to get me and two kids ready and drop them at a sitters before work. And hands down, that was easier than being a SAHM. My house stayed clean because we were all gone all day. I had a social life and interaction with others. A steady consistent routine. I wasn’t depressed from lack of adult interaction lol. But every person’s situation is different. I don’t have family close by to just pop by and visit. I gotta say though, I think working single moms are super heros and I can’t imagine doing it ALL on my own like they do.

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Both are hard. And it honestly depends on SO many other factors. They are very different kinds of hard. Depends on how many kids, their personality and. behaviors, their ages, what all they do, what all else you do, where you live, are family and friends close, what your job is…, how much your husband makes, how many days or hours do you work, do your kids sleep haha do you breastfeed, do they hate daycare?yalls relationship and tons of other countless things.

For ME, being a working mom was harder and way less worth it or fufilling… again for me. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t other stresses or hardships staying at home because there definitely is and it easy but at least I’m with my kids and don’t have to feel pulled into two directions or guilt anymore. I did most of the cooking, bills, housework, budgets, planning, making appointments and dealing with activities while I worked fulltime… so on that front it is easier to only have all that to do and take care of the kids still than have to do all that and also work a full time job.

I don’t ever feel stuck with my kids. I feel blessed to get this time with them every single day. If you feel stuck with them, perhaps SAHM isn’t isn’t you and that’s okay many moms feels that way.

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I hate this question. If your family can afford to have you stay at home and you want to do it, go for it. I could never imagine not contributing financially for my family. I didn’t need to change every diaper or be the first to see my kids walk. I took pride in their accomplishments even if the babbysitter daw it first. Moms who work outside the home do cooking, cleaning, and finding evening and weekend time to spend with their kids. Some even become Cub Scout and Girl Scout leaders and help teach their kids how to do 4H projects. Working outside the home teaches our children that we value our careers and our education as much as we value our children. I think we raised well rounded independent children.

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Is this a healthy debate you are having?

Because no matter how it is “settled”, someone is going to feel self-righteous while the other person feels slighted.

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I personally think staying at home is harder because there is no time to turn off for a while. No matter how much you love your kids you still need an outside life. I, personally, loved getting home to my child at the end of the day and having that time with her. If I was there 24/7 I would be so tired and overwhelmed that I couldn’t just enjoy my time with her.

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It depends on the individual person. For me, I can’t think of anything worse than being unable to financially contribute to my household, my savings and my superannuation. I want to be an example to my daughter that you have to work for everything you want to achieve in life and don’t rely on anyone else. Nobody ever judges men for how much they work, how much or little they do housework and spend time away from their kids.

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Stay at home mum’s have a full time job in the home and plenty of quality time with children but can feel isolated and have financial stress where working mum’s have very little family time and have to fit the house work and time with kids into limited home time and stress because they are missing time with their kids they can’t get back.

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Working moms 100%. Won’t ever change my mind. Because not only am I working full time at a job away from home, i have to get my child up in the morning and do all the “stay at home” mom duties, arrange childcare, go work for 9 hours, pick up from childcare, and then come home after a full day of being at someone else’s disposal and do all the parenting duties required at home. I’m not knocking stay at home moms and I wish I had the privilege, but I feel like I never get a break to settle down or do anything for myself, on top of the mental strain and guilt I feel for not getting to spend enough time with my child, while ALSO trying to get every errand done on my days off that I couldn’t do because I was working all week. I’m on my feet from 6am-10 pm almost daily. It’s exhausting

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Both are hard. Both have pros and cons. Find what works for your family and do what’s best in your circumstances.

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They both have there pros and cons. Ive been a stay at home mom and worked full time. Working was so much easier and forfiling. Being a stay at home mom is so mentally and emotionally exhausting.

If you find the right job, then working full time and being a mom works. I used to have a job that drained every bit of life out of me. Coming home to my children and my husband was awful because I would be so tired and so overstimulated from work that i would want nothing to do with them and I was falling behind on everything in the house. However, I went out found a new job that has zero stress and is super chill… Now when i come home it’s completely different. I am much nicer to my family and I am able to keep up with my household duties without feeling overwhelmed.

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Being a work from home mom. I’ve done both, and now this working from home…which doesn’t allow me daycare assistance so it’s cheapest to keep my kids home while I work. It’s much more difficult than the other two options for me.

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Its all hard. But waking up early, getting us both ready, working all day, coming home and going straight to cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc, is exhausting. Then try to get in any amount of quality time with your kids :sob: it leaves literally no time for yourself and I can not keep up with my household tasks. I miss being a stay at home mom.

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They’re both hard in their own way.
I’d say working mums have it harder only because they have to go to work- then come home and do everything a stay at home mum does anyway ? They don’t get to tap out of parenting because they’re working, if anything it’s an added stress & it’s exhausting. And the guilt of missing out is the worst!
I’m not knocking stay at home mums but in my honest opinion it’s harder to work whilst being a mother especially to toddlers

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I’ve done both and personally I like working better. I’m not as moody with the kids when I can have a few hour break from them a few days a week. But I have a friend that has done both and she prefers staying at home with the kids and is crankier and feels worse when shes working. I think it just depends on the person, both are extremely hard.

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Neither is harder as a whole. It just depends on what you personally can handle better.

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Both are just has hard. I was a stay at home mum for 5 years, then I worked two jobs and now I only work the one Job. But every situation has its own issues that arise. To me they were all equally as exhausting or stressful but I wouldn’t change any of it. It’s hard to compare any situation really :confused:

I hate this question, I have been both when I was with my ex and now I am both as a single mom. I work full time and care for my school age daughter full time. Work itself has certain stresses but working and being a mom had the stress of making sure your child is okay with whoever they are with while you’re working. Staying at home you feel responsible for the house and for teaching as well as the slight guilt that you aren’t bringing money into the family. They are different and shouldn’t be compared

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I’ve done both. Both are equally hard, in different ways. Basically, motherhood is hard any way you slice it.

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Right now, my daugther in law gets to do it all… with Covid. She works from home online…and her son goes to school online from home…plus her husband, our son, works from home online too… so during the “interesting times” we are now living…the home environment vs the work and school environment has become rather blurred

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Both ways are different hard work but equally as exhausting. I have the same argument. Being at work all day in my eyes is just as hard as being at home all day with children, although at work you normally get a lunch break whereas at home you don’t :joy: x

Why are you comparing them? They are both hard in different ways. Being a parent is hard period. Instead, let’s support each other rather than rant on why your life is harder.

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Stay at home was very hard for me, at work I can tell people to eff off :joy::rofl:

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Just being a mom is the hardest. And the best. There are no performance appraisals or periodic evaluations to monitor your progress or success. Moms get lots of negative feedback when clean clothes can’t be found, dinner isn’t satisfactory or someone is late to an event, but when was the last time a kid thanked mom for a clean toilet or underwear? Working or at home or working from home or working as a mom, being a mom is tough when you are doing the job well and your kids say you’re mean because you won’t let them be mediocre or mean and teach them to be good humans by holding them accountable. But there is no bonus that can come close to the hugs, the endearments, the unconditional trust love from your child. Hang in there, moms.

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There’s no comparison. Both are stressful and always will be. A Mother’s job is never done until she passes. I will always help my kids as long as I am able to

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I’ve done both and neither are easier, I found working was stressful just getting everyone ready on time and dropping of at nursery and trying to get to work on time, and sorting child care, not just that but the emotional guilt that came with it, leaving your child or constantly asking people to help you out, but at least when you go to work you could switch off and have that time to yourself, you can eat dinner in peace, go to the toilet on your own, talk to other adults. Been a stay at home mum is definitely easier because there’s not as much rushing about, mornings are more chilled, I’m not stressed, your not missing out on anything with your child, but it’s also hard because you don’t ever get a brake, it’s constant all day, you can’t switch off, it can be lonely.i can go weeks only seeing my husband when he gets home, So I think it depends on the individual and what they prefer. Some prefer been at home, some prefer been at work. Neither is easier or better. I personally prefer been at home but it’s not for everyone.

In my opinion
You never stop being a mum :heart:
Whether your at work or home
Everyone situation is different these days many families both need to work

I think as women/men we need to stop comparing our lives to each other’s. Everyone has their own personal level of hard, and we never really know what someone else is feeling/going through…

It’s all hard.

Don’t want to be a ‘Karen’… Just spreading positive vibes.

Neither is harder than the other.
Only takes a little bit of logical thought to realise that.

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I think it’s all hard! I work part time at my daughters school. I am glad to have the same schedule and I feel it’s a good balance since we are in a good place financially to be able to do that. If you are able I would do part time work.

For ME being a SAHM was harder mentally. Being a working mum was harder to fit in appointments and getting home to make healthy dinners and get to the gym.

I’ve done both. Both are very hard. I personally enjoy being a stay at home mom more than working. I think it really comes down to what would fulfill you as a person more. If you have the financial capability to stay home and it would be better for your health (mentally, emotionally, physically. Whichever) then do it. If working would bring you more joy, then do that.

Kids are way more stress than work, but leaving the kids to go to work is hard. I love my babies more than anything, but I love my 48 hours away

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It’s not really fair to pit mums against each other. It’s hard either way,mum guilt is real. I’ve been a SAHM for most of my son’s life, and when I did have a job,he didn’t tolerate me working (he’s potentially autistic). It was hard for me both ways. You need to do what’s right for you and your family

Both have different challenges but both are hard!

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I think it depends like I am a stay at home mum but I work in the evening when they sleep so I guess I do both but I personally find it easier at work than at home some days :joy:

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One isn’t necessarily harder than the other. They both have their own unique challenges. Staying at home is a never ending job. The same domestic work is still waiting for moms who work outside the home so while they don’t have as much time to do those tasks, they do get a mental break from home life for a bit.

Stay at home parent is harder it my opinion. You don’t get a paycheck for it. I have done both. Currently on the stay at home program.

Depends if have self discipline. If yes are disciplined to manage yourself. Then I would say home is easier and more satisfying. If you are not disciplined then work is easier. I’ve done both.

I loved my brief time as a stay at home mom. Then I went to part time. I work full time now and hate it. I would prefer to work part time. Both have their struggles for sure and I think most moms realize this.

Going to work. I loved staying home with my kids. I’ve done both. The only problem with staying home is less money.

In my case, I’m having to do most of the “mom “ duties and work. I would LOvE to be a STay at home mom. BUT I know that has its own stressors. In the end we always crave what we don’t have !

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Totally depends on the kids, their ages, their needs, how many you have, what support network you have for childcare - It’s a ridiculous question. A stay at home mom to a teenager who goes to school has a much easier time than a stay at home mom to three kids under 5 for example.

having done both I would say being a stay at home mom is harder for me personally but it is what my family needs me to do.

I was working overnight and coming home and being a stay at home mom all day. I quit a month ago. Full time stay at home mom now. Staying home all the time is 100% harder. If I fell short before I was like , its okay because I’m working and raising humans. Now i cant blame anything but myself. When i worked i got some kind of social life with adults. Now i have zero. Being home all the time is exhausting in ways I never could have anticipated. Working was so much easier and my job was anything but easy. It was a very physical job. I applaud stay at home moms. You guys are heroes.

I have done both I loved staying at home with 3 children never a dull momement

I was a SAHM for 8 years and went back to work when my youngest went into kindergarten full time. It’s a lot of work and stress. But when you are a working mom you just trade those stresses for different stress in the workplace, PLUS you still stress about your family. It’s not like you stop being a mom when you go to work. Plus you have all the household duties to do after work (with husband’s help hopefully!). I joked that I should have become a SAHM after my kids went to school full time!

Well if you consider it “being stuck at home” it’s definitely going to seem harder!! Don’t get me wrong it a lot of work but how gratefully we get to be with them and not someone else raising them!!

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When I got married I was teaching, then when I got pregnant I had to leave my job to look after my child. My husband was a Merchant Navy Officer, so was away at sea for up to six months of any given year. We had three children. I didn’t go back to teaching until after he died at sea suddenly. I brought up my children alone and not regretted it one little bit. They are a credit to me and their late Father. I worked until I retired from teaching. I loved being at home with them.

I would rather work than stay at home with the kids. If u stay at home with them there is no day off. Atleast when u work u get days off. Kids are exhausting shame. They need u 24/7. Work dnt need that

I’m a buisness owner and mom of 2 going on 3, either job is hard no matter how you look at it, no one is above the other

I think it depends on the person. I’m a go go go type of person and staying home made me really depressed and I got to the point of not caring/wanting to do anything. Working more than full time and being a single mom with NO financial support or days off (he may as well have died) I’m finding to be a lot easier on myself mentally and a lot happier. Granted the difference could be the guy is gone now too.

I feel like this is a very personal choice but being worded as ‘being stuck at home with the kids’ then the personal preference of the poster is probably to return to work

I’m a working mom and being a stay at home mom is harder in my opinion. The days that I have off and I’m with her 24/7 can be very tiring. Don’t get me wrong I love her to death and I look forward to every second I get with her but working outside of the home is definitely easier lol.

I have been both and now I am a working mum.
I got to say both are as equal as hard.

Stay at Home in Earlier Years…Working in later years…When the kids have to make their own desions, it makes them become more responsible…

If your someone who loves your kids but enjoys getting a break, being around other adults, the feeling of bringing home money, and love getting to see your kids run into your arms when they haven’t seen you for a few hours then work is for you. If you don’t think you can handle someone else watching your kids and you miss your kids after running to the grocery store, or cry your eyes out when you miss something like their first words or first steps then you need to stay home. Certain things are mentally harder for different people. As for physically harder it just depends on your job. You just have to figure out what kind of mom you are. :heart:

I think it depends on the individual. I found it really hard a SAHM and needed to get back to work but some may feel different.

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Having done both, both are equally hard. Also now being a retired 65 year old grandmother & full-time carer of my 6 year old granddaughter is equally hard, especially during school holidays. But why do kids have trouble waking up on school days, but come the weekend, they’re up with the sun. :woman_shrugging: Keeps me active physically & mentally if nothing else. :woozy_face::crazy_face:

Both are difficult . Being a single working mom is the hardest. Stay at home longs for adult conversation but working mom’s frequently have all the housework on top of the out of home work. The single mom has all the Housework, making a living, and trying to be both parents.

Oh good lord…not an answerable question. So many variables!
Is the spouse supportive?
Is the family financially stable?
One kid or 10?
Is the job a dream job or trudgery to put food on the table?
Is there a spouse at all?
Is/are the kid(s) special needs?
Are their aged parents that have to be cared for?
Do you, as a person, need adult conversation to be fulfilled?
I could go on and on…it is all hard, and it is all rewarding.
Every situation brings unique advantages and disadvantages!

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When I’m at work with stress I’m like “ugh I wish I could just be chillin with the kids”, and then I have a couple days with them and I’m like “oh my god they’re driving me nuts get me the fuck back to work”

For me, personally, being a stay at home mom has always been harder than being a working mom. I’m better when I’m not at home 24/7 and around the kids 24/7. I mean I wish I didn’t have to work full time, but I’m happier when I’m working.

I’m a stay at home, work from home mom. Hardest job I’ve ever had.

LIFE is hard full stop. We need to recognise and stop creating divides like this and pull together instead. Namaste :pray:t3:

Home is more harder your never off the clock .Husband comes home he is done for the day and you never get ask how was your day honey. Or get a pay check

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I have done both. For me working and going home to do more work was harder for me. Either way, it is challenging.

I personally love having the balance of work and homelife. I couldn’t do the stay at hone parent thing, although kudos to those who do. Each brings its own set of challenges and stress, so its just a question of weighing up what’s best for you personally and your family xx

Was able to do both, WFH wasnt all that great. Was glad when I went back to work

Working while having children is the hardest, When my babies were little I loved being at home and it was easy.

I have been both. Each has its problems and it’s virtues. In the end its up to what the mama needs.

I think a stay at home mom is harder for me. I’ve done both. now that I have 2 kids and I am a stay at home mom, I miss work. I miss socializing with people over the age of 2​:joy: but I also have a hard time with house work just in general and miss having my own cash as well. Work was kind of my escape or break if you will. Few hours with no kids or hubby and it gave me more to talk about with my hubby. Now I feel im lame because I have nothing going on and when I don’t get everything finished in my house work I feel like a failure or lazy or somthing. :woman_shrugging:t2: But I do remember missing my kids and wondering if I was missing out on their important stuff so both are difficult I think

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You had the children… be there for them growing up. All my now adult children now say they realise Mum was always there for them. I did without for them in so many ways. Extra money isn’t everything. Love is.

Mum is 24/ 7 most work have a clock off time if you do both you have my admiration

How about we stop comparing and recognize that both are hard equally for different reasons. It’s a shame to see so many moms bash others. What you feel is best for your family/child(ren) may not be what someone else feels is best but that doesn’t make either decision wrong or less difficult.

Although going to work is sort of like “me time” I do think being a working mum is harder especially when the hubby doesn’t really help with anything :roll_eyes:

I’ve done both as a single parent and can tell you, both are hard af. You can’t compare them as the challenges and emotions are different for each situation. The only thing worth saying to either mum is, You are amazing and today may have sucked but you got this. You are not alone.

I have done both. Both are stressful. More stressful is when you get in your 50’s and husband nearly dies and is permanently disabled and you are working a job, trying to care for him and raising a granddaughter. It almost killed me. I soon decided I was doing no one ant good and quit working my job to care for them. I am glad I did though it has cost me financially. I am now a widow and my granddaughter is grown and working. I still hold everything together. Now I have my 86 year old mom to worry about.

I work and then come home and be a mama. Both are equally important and hard. I am a 12 hour worker so basically I work 15 days a month and 15 days a month I am at home mom. So both are important

If your husband doesn’t share the household responsibilities it super hard to work and do all the things a stay at home mom does. My ex didnt .

Stay at home mom is way harder !!! Had to do it during maternity leave twice. So happy when I was able to return to work.

Both have its ups and downs. I did stay at home with my Daughter and worked with my Son. I was young with my son and needed groceries. I missed some firsts and that still sucks.

Well if your like most of us it would be if you were a stay at home mom you have all the motherly and house hold chores to do. If you decide you want to work outside the home fine but you still are expected to have the mom thing and house things done also…So there’s your answered You end up by working both twice the work twice the stress.

I’ve done both i’m currently working and believe me working is harder ur racing the clock never enough hours in the day but wouldn’t swap it to stay home again
Been at home is easier but the isolation is too much and all the mummy groups are fully with whinging mums who competed with each other

They are different kinds of hard. Too boost of us don’t get to choose…you do whichever you must and do your best.

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They’re both hard. Let’s not make it a competition.

Working and trying to do everything at home and then getting the kids to all their sports and other things. I was a working mom a lot of hours in a day and then to spend time with them.

I always thought I wanted to be a stay at home mom but now I definitely don’t want to. My girl is terribly clingy to me and I find myself short on patience with her some times. I cannot imagine how stressed and emotionally/mentally drained stay at home parents are. Kudos to them. I enjoy my work and chatting with adults. Plus my girl is learning so much more at daycare than I could ever teach her.

Wow. I never felt stressed at work. I loved my job and loved being there — every minute of it.

Well if ur husband is a team player them both of U guys should be able to make things work out…have a date nite once a week…and got to make sure both parents agree on situation…
Whatever it is!!! Jus work as a team…remember ur babys didn’t ask to come out into the world by it self…U as a parent had alot to do with this…
Now go and finish ur duty untill they big enough to leave the house and move out…
Then my friend ur job is done!!
For now bare with it and love each other with care…
Life is good!!! God chooses U to be a parent…now prove him U both can do it…amen!!