I have done both and both are hard when I was home my house was cleaner and it was all on me but now I’m working almost 40 hours and still have to cook and clean
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It is not like there is an actual choice for many. I think the question highlights a lot of narrow visions of the reality of life. Too many are “playing mummy”.
It’s hard both ways but I believe it’s harder to do both at once because you work all day …which means less time to do all the things you need to do as a mom …so now you have two full time jobs instead of one.
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I’m currently a sahm and am desperate to get a part time job or something for a break from the house, my family, my children. I swear mentally there is nothing harder than being a sahm. Though at the same time I could never get a full time job and pay someone else to bring up my children for me. They are mine I don’t want the majority of the time they are awake and active spent in childcare with someone else doing all.the hard work. I had them so I could bring them up.and I could try to.make them the best possible people they can be, my best possible people not someone else’s idea of that!
Honestly I think a stay at home mom job would be great for a while but you would never get a break! Now I wish I could be a stay at home but I know that it wouldn’t actually be what I think it would. I know it wouldn’t be all taking my kids to do fun stuff and playing all day. So for me I think a stay at home mom would be harder.
Its soooooo much easier to be a stag at home mom!
Working mum I think
Would love to be a stay at home mum again 
Miss having a clean house and a nice dinner early instead of coming home from work to do everything later 
it depends on what type of work you do, but for me being a SAHM would be so much harder . I work from home, and she goes to daycare. I am thankful for daycare, and give so much love to all the SAHM because its hard work…even with one.
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Both are hard…But whatever you choose you’ll find your own groove.
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Depends on the individual situation. When I was out of work I loved being a stay at home mom but because it’s just me I can’t afford to. In my situation working is harder because I have to work two jobs and still be mom. Minus the financial issue staying home is easier to me
I am a part time bus driver ( which I love plus my kids can come with me). The rest of the time I’m at home with my 6 year old. Best of both worlds. I suggest getting your CDL and driving a bus for whoever wants both or cannot decide.
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Depends what suits you! I am a stay at home mum. It’s exhausting! I was a teacher. That was exhausting but while at work I got breaks from children and came home to something different.
I am happy as a stay home mum and it is hard work.
I am sure for some this would be harder than being a working mum. And for others not.
You can’t compare since you can’t compare people directly. It’s not a valid question.
Hard both ways, in different ways.
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Im a sahm for 10 years now And I think working moms have it harder.
If I have a rough night With the kids & van sleep If They sleep, I van even lay on My couch while They play.
A working mom cant do that. I have all day for house hold, playing with kids. Hell I even read My books.
Sure I have days where I want to scream and run away cuz the twins are terror twins OR My teenage daughter thinks shes 18. But thats it.
A working mom has her work, house work & kids. I have more me time then She has. I hate it when sahm are being so annoying dus oh its So hard. No it isnt! You Can do it all on your own time! Hell If I have a day Off its Okay. Tomorrow I will do some extra at home. She Cannot do that!!
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I think staying home is easier. Regardless if I go to work or not I still have to come home take care of the kids, cook, clean etc. So staying home and do all those things are easier for me. Right now I’m working from home and running the house and it is a lot.
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It’s the hardest to pick a choice. Both hard for me.
Your husband is an ass to have this Debate with you. Being a mother is hard period
Can’t they be equally as hard?
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Both are hard in different ways!
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They are both hard but hard in different ways. Because of my personality being a stay at home mom would be harder for me, but that’s just me.
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I’ve done both, they are equally exhausting, Especially if you are the designated doer of allllll the things
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Working mom. You work all day and still have to do all the chores. You stay at home and yes I’m sure it’s exhausting but it’s all you have to do.
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I was a stay at home mom for a month then my postpartum got even worse. I’ve been working full time from home for almost 3 weeks and my depression is better but it is hard! So very hard!
I’ve done both. Each have unique challenges. It depends on your job and schedule and the support you get from your partner. The biggest challenge of being home is feeling like everything has to be instaperfect all the time because you don’t have a “real” job but you get no break, no rest and everything falls on you. However working 5 days a week is stressful because you still want to cram all the house stuff into a day when you’ve already worked so again no break no rest and if you focus on one you feel stress from the other. Kids are hard, managing a house takes a lot of work and it takes help from your partner.
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I think it depends on the individual. My boyfriend is the stay at home parent and he thrives at it. He enjoys every minute of it but he is still extremely stressed out while taking care of everything. While I would rather be at work. Now I’m a stay at home mom when summer hits because I’m a bus driver and honestly I’ve been out of work for 2 weeks now and im going insane. I cannot handle being a stay at home parent. Its tiring and exhausting. And im very stressed. But I dont feel like this while I am working.
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Both sahm is hard constantly working… and I work in oil and gas…I would go back at the moment no good daycares are open so I will do what I have to do until my son is preschool age …
Stay at home mom… that shit can drive you crazy no matter how much you love your kids.
Equally as hard as one another but as a mom who had to go back to work I’d really like to go back to being a SAHM at times…not for the ease but to get more things done around the house and be home with my kids more than I am now. They both have difficulty and they both have benefits
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I think both are hard in different ways. I never been a sahm but I would think working mom would be stressful. It’s hard trying to fit everything of a mom and a full time job in one day. Hearing from my sahm friends I think the repetitiveness and only children to speak to seems mentally draining.
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At the end of the day whether you worked a paid job or worked at home, you’re both exhausted.
so it shouldn’t be a competition lol
He’s alive, you’re alive & you managed to keep the kids alive all day. 
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i have been a mom for 10 years. 5 of the 10 i was a sahm. it was exhausting, stressful, overwhelming and always felt like i was just “mom”. noone saw me for being a person still (it felt) and it was always " well your home all day how can you be tired?" although i loved it because i was able to ALWAYS be there for my kids. on the other hand i now have a career that i LOVE that doesnt feel like work at all…so honestly its like a 40hr a week break from home. IF my husband wasnt such a great help it would be stressful to have to juggle it all but im grateful i have a wonderful helpful partner.
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Hands down stay at home mom. However. It’s different for each individual. Working mom means they miss important milestones and events. At home you’re isolated and never get to clock off
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Both are hard but working is harder for ME. With being a sahm I could make random park playdates, easy to make appointments and grocery shop any day.
Now that I work it’s harder to plan especially when kids are sick and I still have to work.
Stay at home mom for sure. Granted I have 4 kids 
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I’ve done both. Both are hard equally but for different reasons… you don’t really get a “break” being a stay at home mom and very repetitive. Being a stay at home mom is mentally exhausting and straining. Working moms (depending on your job) can be physically straining then have to come and do the at home chores. But to me you get a little break away from home being at work. I’m a homecare worker. And I enjoy being out&about working with my clients etc. But its physically hard and sometimes mentally when dealing with clients who have cognitive disorders… all depends on your situation. But to me they are equally hard! Just have to know which one is right for you.
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Everybody is different. I would have loved to have stayed home but had to work. Home is my safe place, work is stress.
Im a single mom of three and I work full-time. And I honestly think that’s harder then being a stay at home mom. I’m exhausted. I don’t get a break. I come home cook clean and make sure my kids get some attention. And wake up and repeat. The stress from paying all the bills is hard on me. It’s a different stress then just being home with them all day and not getting a break.
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I did both. Everyone is different. I struggle with being a stay at home mom because it’s not always fun for the kids. I loved the time I had with them when I worked and made the most of it. I don’t feel I’m a very good stay at home mom so I struggle more. Both are difficult but each person is different. My mom LOVED being a stay at home mom and she absolutely killed it. She was the best!
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Honestly I’ve done both at the same time I still think being a sahm is the hardest
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Both situations can be very stressful.
I believe in a perfect world, moms would stay home, dads would go to work & be able to earn enough money to keep their families financially secure.
But we don’t live in a perfect world.
In today’s world, I believe both parents should work, & both parents should be equally responsible for maintaining the household (chores, errands, Dr. Appts., Activity commitments, etc). I believe it prepares children for the world they will one day grow up & face as an adult. It teaches our children work ethic, commitment & responsibility. In addition, children that attend daycare prior to school age get a better start in school, and are more socially engaged & interactive.
It’s very tough being a working mom … it’s also very tough being a working dad. Parents want to spend as much time with their children as they can … but as parents, our job is to prepare our children for adulthood, and we can’t do that if we shield our children from what the world is really like.
Being a SAHM you have more time to organize and complete your schedules/housework/children but it is stressful because everything falls on you and you alone 99% of the time. It is also stressful mentally, I personally had reached the point where I would be on edge of wanting to scream my guts out on many occasions because of the loneliness. 11 years of this environment.
Working outside of the house and then having to come and do household chores is also stressful and exhausting. Limited time to do necessary things at both the workplace and the home. Currently working out 17 years now. What is needed in either situation is understanding, co- operation and communication of both/all parties involved. I am married and the mother of two. Thankfully my husband and I shared the responsibilities of the house.
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Depends on the job you’re working. As a parts store manager, I can tell you, watching my two kiddos every day is far less stressful than my management position babysitting 12 other adults, each with their own challenges and personalities. I love my team, but there isn’t anything I wouldn’t give to be a stay at home mom if we had the ability to keep the same salaries that my husband and I currently do, and I could stay home. Right now, I leave the house at 5 am, drop my youngest off at daycare, get to work by 6 am, and work 8 to 10 to 12 more hours. I barely see my babies, and the mom guilt is real y’all. I’m super jealous of the 6 am to 2 pm schedule that my husband has. He doesn’t miss anything. I, on the other hand, have to sacrifice quite a bit of time with my kids for my job.
I prefer to work than to be home with kids 24/7 it all depends on the situation when I was a single Mom it was a lot on my mental health to stay home and if I just have my daughter while I’ve been with my fiancé it’s a piece of cake when I have all 3 of our kids then it’s harder maybe because I’m pregnant and sick but I get overwhelmed sometimes but I’ve been off of work since I got pregnant and I cannot wait to go back! It’s easier to have two incomes, to not have to ask someone for the things that you want and need and to build up a savings incase something happens. It’s harder to get the things that you need to get done though when you’re working. I’d so much rather be working and get a mental break feel like I have a life and be able to have my own things without ever having to ask anyone for help that is the best feeling ever!
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I would say a SAHM is harder. I work FT and it’s stressful, but I couldn’t do the SAHM. My personal opinion.
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I’ve been both, a stay at home mom and a working mom. Each has its challenges. Not one is easier than the other.
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For me personally being a stay at home mom is the hardest
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Unless you have someone to help pick up the slack of being a working mom, I think working mom is harder because you take on the role of both. Responsibilities as a working individual and then have to come home and do everything that doesn’t get done while at work and you only get a few hours a day to spend with your child between getting home and bedtime.
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Staying home all day is worse i love my job because to me that is my break
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For me personally being a working mom is harder; I have to get myself and my son ready in the morning before work, drop him off at the caregiver, and make sure I get to work on time; then I still have to get home and be a mom and it’s more work if my partner is working that day because they work nights.
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Working mom is harder for me. Too much to do in too little time. I got more sleep, had more time, and was way more patient and fun when I was home for a few months last year. That said, stay-at-home moms still need breaks, they can’t go forever without time to themselves.
Just my opinion but I think it’s much harder to be a stay at home mom. The mental and emotional exhaustion is like nothing I’ve ever experienced before… At least at a job you have mandated rights and breaks and all that lovely stuff hahaha
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I’ve been both and both are hard in their own ways. A sahm never has time for themselves and if things don’t get done you’re upset about it. But the good part is you dont miss your kids as much. The working mom on top of housework you feel like you never have time for your kids or you’re to tired. Plus you dont get time for yourself either from work and housework and kids. They’re both hard but they’re are days I miss my kids and want to spend all the time I can with them but have to pay Bills. They know momma loves them.
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A working single mom is exhausting. I’ve done it 14 years and still a few more to go. You work all day, pick up the child, drive home. Then figure out dinner, homework, baths, cleaning, finding clothes for them( if too small to pick out their own outfit) and you for work and school, cleaning, then off to bed. It’s so much work but honestly better than being in a bad marriage. Staying home has its challenges too.
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I’ve done both. Personally being a stay at home mom is harder for me. I love my kids, but time around other adults was amazing
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I have honestly done both. With my daughter I was with her until she was 3. Now with my son I’m home while on medical leave and tbh no offense to my kids but I feel like I’m not doing everything I can for them by staying home. I would rather go to work knowing I’m providing for them and still doing everything for them when I get off.
Speaking from experiene (with 4 kids) working was quite stressful because I had Mum duties to do before & after work which made my time management skills non existent and emotions ran high which caused stress and arguments. And being a stay at home Mum isn’t something I’d call hard but it does test you, like just when partner or kids won’t cooperate (majority of the time) which makes feeling like you’re the only one who does shit around the place and then this causes stress and arguments.
So please you tell me which is hard
I’ve been both. I find working mom is harder. I’m doing everything I did as a stay at home mom but on top of it I’m working 8 plus hours outside the home as well. It’s super stressful and I miss being a stay at home mom
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Working mom is harder. Stay at home mom is lonelier.
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If you consider staying home with the kids as “being stuck”…go work outside the home. Maybe stay at home mom is not for you.
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I don’t think either is harder than the other. They both come with difficulties and their own challenges.
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Great question. Honestly my kids listened better than many adults I’ve worked with so feels like a toss up to me depending on the team and day. 
I really think it totally depends on the person, the household, their partner ect ect and also what you are considering as harder.
For me, being a stay at home mum was emotionally and mentally more difficult.
Where as being a working mum, is physically more difficult (I actually have to go to work, and all the physical job of parenting are still there when I get home) but mentally and emotionally I feel like a whole new person.
Stop trying to turn being a mother/parent into a competition. There are pros and cons to absolutely everything we do.
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single working mom for sure. leave the house around 7am get back around 7pm. gym 4xs a week. baseball practice? thats me. daycare drop off n pick up? Also me. who makes dinner?? me again and i feed my kids real food. monitor homework me me me lol my week would make your head spin
Working mom is harder. For me if is just having to be away from my kids and worrying about them and feeling like I am losing time with them. I was at one point working 84 hrs a week (12hrs shifts no days off) and I would only sleep 4 hours a day bc I wanted some time with my kids. Since covid started I’ve been a stay at home mom and I’ve absolutely loved all this time with my babies. Only negative thing for me is I feel that no matter how much I clean a day it’s never caught completely up there is always something else that needs to be done.
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I’ve done both. For me staying home was harder. It was lonely and that alone made it harder for me. Now I’m working and my youngest is in daycare and absolutely loves it. I also have flexibility with work and work about 2 miles from home so that helps making working easier.
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My opinion… Staying at home is harder for me mentally. I was raised to work and work hard. Not working and not making my own money depresses me big time and I don’t handle it well. I loved being home with my kids. I really did but it’s just better for me to work.
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There is no harder… they both have there challenges and there joys. As long as you take care of yourself to the best of your ability then you’ll always be able to be the best mama you can. Regardless if you work or stay at home.
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I was a stay at home mom I loved it…being a working mom I feel I have no time. it’s get up get myself ready and the kid then work, cook, clean, baths and of course bed time and repeat
I honestly can’t answer that. I know after working I was a stay at home mom for a short time and was going nuts. I needed the mental challenge of a job
Both are actually. Some women do well being one but not the other. Some thrive in one situation but not the other. It is subjective.
So. SAHM. I did for 2.5 years and it was the hardest thing I’ve done. Mentally for sure. You lose every ounce of personal space and who you are. When you work. You get that time to be yourself and not be “a mom”. You get seen normally. I do miss constantly being around my daughter but working is easier than staying home
I’ve been both and both are hard. Both in their own ways…I think with being a working mom you keep a bit of your sense of self (the lack of this is what I’m struggling with currently, being a sahm and full time student taking upper level university courses).
Both have their challenges, I’d kill to be home with my kids all the time, but when I was (mat leave) I’d miss work. Working full time, I miss my kids and it’s hard to schedule things in and around a work schedule sometimes. If I had my choice I’d be home with my kids and work a job that is on my time and schedule
As a stay at home mom there are days where I feel like I’m going to absolutely lose my shit. Constantly being touched and climbed on and needed really gets to me but despite that, I can’t imagine leaving my 2yr old with someone else all day. As hard as it is to be a stay at home mom, I don’t think I could be a working mom until my daughter goes to school.
There is no right answer…being a mom is a tough job…period!
They are both difficult in their own ways.
Both are equally hard but for very different reasons, the two can’t be compared x
I’ve done both and SAHM is harder. Like way harder. But I like it more.
When I had my previous job I was stress free. The only stress was at home. So for me staying at home is 1000 times more stressful and harder. You have to maintain laundry, dishes, cleaning and on top of that making sure multiple people are fed multiples times a day and entertain multiple people. You also sometimes have animals to deal with. From the time you wake up til you are going to bed you are pulled in so many directions.
Sometimes woken from sleep.
A typical job has a time stamp in which you end for the day. You arent on the clock round the clock like you are at home!
Stay at home moms dont get lunch breaks or 15s. We dont get paid vacations or time off. We dont get paid.
Working moms have it harder. They pay someone else to raise their child. They get all the tired and hungry moments at the end of the day when their child isn’t wanting to deal with anything becaue they are overstimulated by too many children and not enough adult attention. They do not get to instil any of their own character building techniques into their child because their is no room at the end of the day for mother or child as they are both exhausted. The child has to fight and scream for attention at daycare, mom has to get as much done at work before heading home. By the time both make it home mom has to clean and cook and the child is still, again, fighting and screaming for attention that mom just cannot give the child until bed time. But by the time bedtime comes around mom just wants time to herself and rushes through bed time. In the blink of an eye the child is in middle school with an attitude and resentment doing anything for the attention they have been craving since the day they first went to daycare.
Stay at home moms have it hard as they lose social time with adults, word vomiting on anyone close to their age. They live in the same outfit for two or three days to cut back on laundry. They take bites of food as they serve it to save on dirty dishes. They sweep the same floors multiple times a day but no matter what it will be dirty the moment dad walks in. Not being able to have someone else cook for you will get old fast, this is why most mom’s get fast food or takeout why they get to run errands by themselves. It is a matter of mental health more often then trying to find something healthy to eat. But going to bed knowing you poured your soul into your child that day and they will be better for it is worth all of it, even roughing it money wise.
Working mom. We do everything stay at home moms do except work a full time job on top of it. We don’t get to do less housework or cooking or cleaning just cause we work.
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Both are hard. But working out makes you happier and independent … and to some thing to your mental life.
being home w kids 24/7 is harder
Being a mom is tough working or staying home
There both as hard as the other to be honest
Depends on the day! 
Some days are smoother than others and some days you wanna rip out your hair!! I’ve done both and they both have their pros and cons. Life is just easier though when you are debt free, and have money. My kids are also a little older now so it’s a different situation.
For me working full time was stressful in a different way. I hated having to leave my kids with someone else. Staying home could be stressful. We didn’t have as much money for extras,more time with the kids was the important thing. I found several good friends in my neighborhood. It saved my sanity to have a friend with kids the same ages. We shared babysitting and housekeeping and lunches with kids.
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I’d say it would vary base on the person and the family.
Staying at home for me, was more mentally, emotionally and psychologically draining. I would feel so isolated, so lonely and depressed.
Working away from home is more physically and mentally draining because after work, you’d have to come to more work and you’re already exhausted. Then you’d have to find time for appointments, school activities, deal with illnesses and babysitters, etc.
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Im a SAHM and i cant imagine having to clean, cook, and take care of everything on top of a full time job. Im going to vote working mom. Staying home is stressful but I thinking working would be the end of me
Both are hard.
I know personally I preferred working then being a stay at home mom. I have more patience for my kids when I was working. Now that I’m a stay at home mom i don’t have the patience all day everyday. But we are learning this together.
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After working for 26 yrs , I’m now a stay at home mum but work for my husband. Both are equally challenging but I prefer the stay at home. I get to spend more time with my family (as I used to work weekends), my work hours are flexi, I get to gym (which is me-time) and also go on day dates with my husband cos kids are at school (previously, it was a rushed 45min lunch).
I guess everything in life has its pro n cons, we just have to make the best of what we can:hugs:
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Working is harder! Just because you work doesn’t mean you stop being a mum, my kids are both in school now and I’m lucky enough to not start work till the afternoon which sounds great like I have the whole day to do me… but in reality I get up in the morning get 2 kids ready for school take them to school, come home clean, do the washing, prepare tea, and what ever else needs doing I then get myself ready for work… go to work and deal with other children ( swimming teacher )
Come home do the night time stuff put kids to bed ect and start all over again the next day!
Least when I was home i had the whole day wasn’t on a time schedule was less stressful
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Both are so hard but personally I think working mom because 9 times out of 10 you work a 40hr job then go home and do everything a stay at home mum would do. Stay at home moms have it hard too though it’s alot of work either way and 2 totally different mental stressed
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Staying home was the hardest. If I didn’t clean one day I felt like I was failing. Even if my husband said it was ok if I take a break and be lazy. But it ate at me like I was a terrible mom for not cleaning or doing anything. I disconnected from everyone and everything. Which led to me feeling constantly alone and invisible.
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I’ve done both. Currently I’m a full time stay at home mum. There’s challenges on both sides and the severity would depend on how much support the partner gives. Or if there’s other family support.
I don’t stay home for me I stay home for my little one but it’s to my own detriment financially and I’m lacking mental stimulation. On the flip side I go to work and my child goes to care and I’m not the one with her most of the time and no one will care for my child like I do. Half my pay goes to childcare fees. But I’m stimulated and contributing financially. I’ve chosen to stay home despite the sacrifices because it’s temporary and reduces stress off of my partner who has two jobs already. I study and volunteer and exercise. That helps me stay stimulated.
It works for us for now. It’s an individual decision.
It was much harder on me and my child when I worked. Now I am home and can take care of her without constantly worrying if she’s ok when I am gone. I only have 1 child. She has asperger syndrome.
Both are difficult… the hardest is neither… hats off to the single parents doing a two person job and thank God for the Grandparents, friends and family that help them out 
My dad used to say growing old isn’t for sissies… I would like to add neither is parenting, it’s a tough world to raise kids in.
Both are hard.
I have done both.
Being at home with the children usually meant that most of the household chores were done so the weekends were mostly left free for visits and outside recreation but it can be quite lonely and you can lose your identity.
Being a working mum is tough as you have to fit the chores around being home, always forward planning and of course the guilt of missing out on parts of your child’s life. Fitting shopping, cleaning and homework during evening and weekends does not leave much time for the nicer things.
In an ideal world I would only work 3 days a week maximum!
Both are stressful in their own ways.
Staying home with your children should not be stressful. We as mothers should try to find ways to enjoy our ability to be with them and to teach them values and principals and love without it being burdensome! Im not speaking from experience…just what I’ve learned from being a Jehovah Witness.Lesson Learned too late.