Girl, he hates kids. Run.
If your gut says he needs to be gone then go with that. It sounds like you already know but are unwilling to accept. Move on with your life old chapters are for reading and growth not for reliving.
Dont worry about the fact that he thinks babies are âgrossâ. Worry more about the fact that he makes little to no effort to bond with the child that you already have. I personally wouldnt want to be with anyone that is like that with my kidsâŚ
Iâve never found babies gross I love the way they smell smile laugh and cuddle I admit changing diapers is not great but hell its part of loving babies
I think babies are gross⌠and weird, and creepy. Not terribly fond of them at all really, and Iâm a single mother of twins (theyâre 3.5 now, thanks goodness). I can still bond with babies though, in spite of those feeling, so THAT would probably concern me, not the âbabies are grossâ part.
Depends on what you mean by babies? Like babies when they are born? Because I think babies are gross too lol I have 5 babies and never held one of them right out of me
I always asked them to get wiped off
But I love babies
Sounds like he just doesnât like babies. Would be a deal breaker for me tbh. I need to be with someone who understands and likes children. Itâs one thing to say theyâre gross but like them and want them anyway, then to say theyâre gross and have no interest in having any. Two different future outcomes.
Kids are gross though. Theyâre walking germ factories. But obviously theyâre growing beings and deserve a little understanding WHY theyâre gross. BUT if he isnât able to bond in any way with your LO, and youâre getting vibes that youâre not into that relationship any more. Itâs time for you to go.
Babies are super gross! I just had my 3rd under 6 weeks ago. Her daddy always wanted to be a daddy though and he honestly thought he couldnât. 36 and no scares of pregnancy. Until I came along and he knew I wasnât on birth control. I had just gotten some and started taking it and a week later we realized we were 6 weeks pregnant! Needless to say this little stink butt was born 10 months to the day of me and daddy getting together but he instantly connected with her. It is the purest thing to watch unfold and honestly it suits him. Now with all that being said being a parent isnât for everyone. Both my older girls dads said it was what they wanted and then they refused to grow up and step up. Donât force him in to anything that would be disastrous
Sometimes they throw up, some times they smell and cry or keep you up. But gross no That sticky baby food face is precious not discussing. Loved most of those days. Donât have young grand children to do it over.
My concern would be the lack of bond with your current child. He sounds anti-kid. I think your gut knows the answer.
He doesnât want babies. You do. If having more kids is a deal breaker for you then your deal is broken, leave. Babies ARE gross. Most parents just ignore that in favor of the positive stuff. For some, parenting is not a good fit. He is not a good choice to father a kid if he is anything less than enthusiastic about it.
Yes it is normal. Spit up, snot, poop, bad eating habits ect. are not for some people.
Are you really questioning whether you should be with a man that doesnt bond with/accept your child? Aint no man worth disrespecting my kid. I WOULD NEVER allow someone around my child that didnt respect him. Even if your kid doesnt say anything, Im sure it hurts or bothers them that someone is around even lived in their home and didnât bother with them.
Thereâs a saying in Spanish, (Iâve never heard it in English) âChildren are like farts, you can only tolerate your own.â In many cases, this is true. For me it is! If itâs not my child, I really donât care to bond with him/her and I know many who feel the same way but fake it.
The fact that he hadnât bonded with my child I already have would be a deal breaker for me.
not everyone is prone to wanting children. the two of you just arenât compatible and thatâs okay. doesnât make him a terrible person, doesnât make you one either. just split up for good and explain to him that you donât think yâall are compatible and itâs a deal breaker for you since you do enjoy children and you have one of your own. I want and love children, but honestly? they are gross lol. they have grimy hands most of the time. they canât really control their bodily functions until a certain age. snotty noses and explosive poops? thatâs all very gross. I wouldnât mind cleaning it up bc I want kids. I love them and I understand thatâs a part of having them. but itâs not for everyone and thatâs okay.
I stopped dating someone instantly who said they never wanted to have children. Iâm not spending my life trying to change another persons opinion. If they tell you something, believe them. It will prevent a lot of disagreements and heartache.
Totally normal⌠if he is also a baby. Otherwise he shouldnât be having sex if babies are âgrossâ
âPeople tell you who they are if you just listenâ
He just told you who he is. You need to listen.
Also a question regarding the bond, is your daughter even available for the bond? They canât bond is both parties are not available and alot of times kids are not available as they dream of mom and dad together.
Lemme put it this way.
My fianceâs cousin had his daughter right after I had my son. He thinks babies are gross. Why? Dude has a very weak stomach and if he sees a poo diaper he will vomit all over his child and whatever else is nearby.
Babies are gross hes not wrong
I think he has told you how he feels about kids. If you want a family, this is not the man for you. Do you and your child a favor and move on.
Kids are gross sometimes. I have 2 kids and I literally lived with my babysitter during the week, while I was growing up. When I had my first at 19, it took some getting used to. The way they spit up and have blowouts, that will always be disgusting. My son would throw up, and Iâd be right there throwing up trying to clean up his throw up! So just relax, maybe heâll get better. Thereâs no way to tell. And even if he does feel that way in the beginning, maybe heâll just jump with both feet in, and be the best he can beâŚ
WowâŚseems you are trying to block out a major issue. He doesnt want kidsâŚyou do. No way around that. If want more kidsâŚditch him.At least you didnt say were already pregnant and knew he was this way, but thought a baby would change that. Lol. Men dont change like that. Babies can make them act worse.
I mean kids are grossâŚ.i have 2. He may just not want kids and thereâs nothing wrong with that. So i would part ways and find someone that is ok with kids. Just because you feel a certain way doesnât mean he has too
Doesnât sound like he wants children
I think you know the answer.
RUN AWAY. Donât walk. When people show you who they are donât imagine them to be someone different. it doesnât change today and it doesnât change next year or in 10 years, he doesnât like children. You are a mother first and your first duty is to protect your child at all cost even if that means killing someone one day
Kids are gross. I have 3 . Some people just donât want kids and thereâs absolutely nothing wrong with that. Dating someone with a child can make people realize that parenthood isnât for them either. Break up and find someone thatâs interested in having children. Iâm not gonna bash this guy because heâs entitled to feel how he feels
Well some men and women should never have or be around small ones its just not in their d n a.
Kids are grĂśss but like they touch everything with their slobery finger kinda thing
Nah heâs gross. Toss him out
HAVING CHILDREN WONT FIX A SHITTY PERSON/RELATIONSHIP. Children donât have a say when being brought into this world, so itâs up to you to make sure theyâre being brought into a loving environment.
Context and tone of voice are gunna be really important in this one. Babies ARE gross. I have 3 of them. Blow-out diapers, spit up, spaghetti all over their heads, EVERYTHING gets put in their mouth even gross stuff⌠6eah babies are absolutely gross so his tone of voice and context are going to matter hugely.
objectively, I think babies are pretty gross too. just lots of bodily fluids, just everywhere bc they havenât been domesticated yetâŚnot for everyone. now I also say that as Iâm pregnant and canât wait to see my own baby drooling all over everything, lol! a person can absolutely feel grossed out by them and think theyâre pretty wonderful, especially when theyâre theirs. thereâs nothing that says he wonât be a wonderful parent based off of that fact alone. he probably doesnât even realize that what he said is bothering you to such a degree that youâre questioning your future together because of it, and that doesnât quite seem fairâŚbut based on the fact that he and your daughter donât have a bond, Iâd be questioning it too. it seems that things went a little fast and maybe you two just donât know each other very well yet and need a heart to heart about it.
The thought of your child having to live with someone totally ambivalent toward her just breaks my heart. She deserves better than that. Imagine what years of living with that will do to her. Sad.
If you do get back together with him, donât have a child with him. The amount of women who seem to believe they should have a child/ren with every man they get into a relationship with is bloody ridiculous! It wonât make a relationship any better! Focus on the kid(s) you already have!!!
He sounds very self centered he wants the attention on him not a child. He hasnât bonded with your daughter most likely because he hasnât tried. Move on. Looking for someone who enjoys children because thst is important to u
Umm⌠Babies ARE gross. I had two⌠on purpose⌠and they were gross. I disliked that entire first year with each of them, but I knew it would be worth it once I got through the nasty baby stages, and it was. Not everyone has to like babies. I would be concerned that he hasnât bonded with your other child yet though.
Anyone who doesnât think kids are gross is lying to themselves, has had it beaten out of them or has some weird fetishes. Kids are snotty, poopy, getting sticky messes over everything, etc. While itâs not their fault and theyâll grow out of it, that doesnât mean itâs not kinda disgusting. Nothing particularly wrong with that.
The not bonding with your kid though, thatâs kinda odd, I guess. As others have said, itâs worth having an honest and direct conversation about it and asking for his feelings towards having kids.
I was never a fan of babies until I had my own ⌠it changes your perspective; also-if he loves you truly, he would love anyone you would create together !
Adults can be just as gross, difference is, babies canât help it.
If a man cannot bond with my child, then perhaps heâs not the right one. Itâs a package deal.
The right one is worth waiting for, and your child deserves that equally as much as you do.
The number 1 person in this relationship right now should be your daughter - do what is best for HER - donât even think about bringing another human being into this world until you are on the same page which it seems to me you are quite a few chapters apart - The end
Please put value in your child. Donât allow any one to make her feel bad about herself. Donât try to change him. You only have one chance to raise her I think you know in your heart already what is best for your family, heâs not family.
My boyfriend things babies and kids are gross and is afraid of them when theyâre teeny tiny. But knowing him as a person, I can tell that will all change when he has a little one of his own. I have no reservations about having children with him and I know he will make a great dad. With that being said, it seems like you already know that this guy isnât a good fit for you to have a family with and I think you need to move on.
Just the fact heâs not bonded with your daughter in 3 years would be enough for me to leave⌠and if he tells you he doesnât like babies and doesnât want kids, at 31 years old, heâs more than likely not going to end up changing his mind.
Iâve been here in a relationship 7 years moved in after 2 years I had a daughter who was 3 when we moved in together. He told me right around the 7 year mark he just couldnât love my daughter after 7 years𤨠that told me the kind of person he was and that wasnât for me
I think babies and kids and teenagers are gross! Itâs ok though I knew not to have any. I wouldnât date a man if he had any either. Itâs the way I feel and Iâm not sorry for itâŚbtw. everyone who knows me knows this is how I am. Iâm a good person and a nice person and thatâs all that should matterâŚ
Not necessarily a man thing.
I think babies/ children are gross but I have a toddler and currently expecting again and I wouldnât dare pick anyone elseâs boogers except theirs
If he hasnât really formed a relationship with your daughter after 3 years then maybe he just isnât the one but things do change once you have your own child. My husband didnât like nor understand children til we had our own and now he wants as many as I want to push out
But do understand everyone is different. Sit down with him and talk about your future together before making a decision.
I donât like babies I hate the baby phase. All they do is eat, poop and cry. They donât have a lot of personality. I like them once they start getting there own voice and I can play with them more. I have 3 of my own and I just never enjoyed the baby phase. Once they hit about 1 year it was all over and I was in love.
- Do you want thus guy to be a father figure and have a relationship with your daughter. Like you said, it hasnât happened yet in 3 yearsâŚ.
- You need to ask yourself first and then him if he wants the same things as you. Stop wasting your time.
I think you already know what you want to do. Itâs hard to let go of somebody you loved. Doesnât sound like heâs a good match for you and your kid. I think you went back because we get comfortable with certain people in our lives and itâs convenient. Itâs up to you to really be truthful to yourself if this man is the one.
First of all aside from future children, ask yourself if this is the kind of man you want for your daughter. Do you want your daughter to grow up with a man whoâs never bonded with her, most likely a man that would just be gone in a few years anyway. He sounds very immature and obviously not looking at the same future you are
It appears that he is not too interested in children in general. I am usually cautious within people who arenât interested in children or animals. They tend to be self centered. Frankly if it were me, I wouldnât put my dtr thru anymore indifference because young children will interpret that as there is something wrong with them.
Your child shouldnât have been introduced to this man without a commitment.
Donât date if you canât leave your kids out of it.
Iâd just be straight up, hoping itâll change if you get pregnant is just gonna lead you into failure and pain.
This is an easy one. Why subject you and your child to this selfish abusive man-child? Donât waste anymore time trying to analyze him and shelter your child from anymore feelings of rejection. Get out!!
Man babies will spew on you. Piss on you and shit on you. My kid one-time shat all up my arm. Thatâs definitely gross. Didnât mean I didnât love him entirely but yeah he was gross quite a lot while he was a baby.
I would initiate an open and honest conversation with him about the reality of having kids, and reassure him that if he doesnât want kids he can tell you. Me and my partner have been living together for 5 years and from the get-go we both agree that we donât want kids. We just generally have no interest in it, donât want to commit ourselves to something for that long, or be responsible for another human life, we want to travel and a lot of the things that we want in life are harder to accomplish when you have kids. Maybe the âbabies are grossâ is a hint at it? Maybe heâs unsure of what he should say because maybe he wants to be with you but realizes that he doesnât want to have kids and so itâs a difficult thing for him? Either way, a big conversation needs to happen and it needs to happen quick before you bring him back into your life fully!
Iâd be more concerned about the not bonding with your daughter. However he may just not know HOW! some people have terrible interacting with kids because they donât know how to do it. You could talk to him about it and see if he just needs help. But to talk about it you have to be open and nonjudgmental. I have 5bio kids and they all have been gross I have one stepdaughter and itâs been 7 years and only in the past couple years have I been able to have a really close relationship with her. It took lots of work and tears to get to this point.
Yes you are sure but wish you werenât. Unless you want to makeexcises for him the rest ofyour life and are willing to answer some hard questions for your child in a few years or want him to be the male role model in the childâs life,stop wasting time.
Why would you even consider having a child with this person⌠You have one child already with out a father.
I think the more telling comment is that after three years he hasnât bonded with your daughter. Do you really want her to be in a relationship with a man who is so disconnected? Because this isnât just YOUR relationship.
Anyone who thinks babies are Gross has a childlike mind. Get rid of him!
Sounds like he has a hang up about having children would definetly be a red flag for me. Have a good talk with him and see if you can get a Jones straight answer. Think about your child to she will be a step child and he needs to bond with her.
My daughter loves kids, but she thinks babies are gross and not exciting or cute. Sheâs not going to have children either.
Run for the hills ASAP ⌠get your baby girl away from him ⌠heâs got red flags everywhere !!
Using the word gross and babies in the same sentence would have made me snap my head around and glared at him until he turned to stone. Lol really I think you already know and just are wanting other people to help you say whatâs already in your heart. Your child is only in elementary school please please please choose your child. There is plenty of time to date and settle down later. That guy isnât for you and why are you going to settle? Be single a while and enjoy life. Enjoy your child they are at a beautiful age!
He might want a family, but he is going to leave you with alllllllll the childcare. Guaranteed.
Sounds like he wants kids that he doesnât need to interact with. Run.
Sounds like a selfish loser, dump him â spent too many years with someone who never connected with his sons
Not compatible way of thinking. Would reconsider. He wont necessarily change his mind and it would cause long term heartbreak for you and any children you had with him IMO
Run. He doesnât like kids, he doesnât want kids, and you already have a daughter. Just run.
Babies, kids, teenagers, and even a lot of adults are gross. Humans and animals are gross. Nature is gross. Life in general is just ick once you actually think about it
I donât like kids in a sense. I like my kid but thatâs about it. Wasnât trying to have one, hated the entire pregnancy, almost died in labor too. Doesnât mean Iâll be hateful or hurtful towards others or my own, just means I donât want anymore and Iâll probably never be in a career that involves kids, like a babysitter or teacher.
If he doesnât want a child but you do then thatâs something you need to discuss with him and him only as only he has the answers youâre seeking, you and him are the only ones who know the actual situation. 99% of the problems here can be solved by communicating.
If he doesnât want a family period and you donât want to give that up as one child isnât enough for you, then either discuss assisted pregnancy, surrogate, fostering, or adopting. If its still a no and you still really want it then clearly youâve answered your own question and should take leave to find someone who actually wants the same things as you do as thatâs what you should be spending your relationship time doing is figuring out if this person is what you want before you want to have children with them as that just makes the splitting process more difficult when you finally realize after all the flags that this person is not right for you. Like what do people do when they get in a relationship? Stop finding out things about their partners? Stop wondering, learning, and communicating? So you know everything about your partner and youâre just living day to day going wherever the wind takes you? Work at your relationship first as thereâs a lot of lack of communication, then discuss the possibility of having a family but only if both agree to it and if one does not then you make the choice of what to do. Itâs your life on the road, grow up and take the wheel.
Is that what you want for your daughter? Someone who just does ok with her?
Donât try to force children on someone who doesnât want them. Iâm 34F and I donât want chidren. I donât live my life in a way where Iâd want to date someone with children either. But I make that perfectly clear. He may not know he has that choice. Perhaps have a conversation with him about it?
Crotch goblins are just not for everyone. I personally find them gross, and have since I was 16âŚ
Find a mature man and get married before having any more childrenâŚâŚ
Do HE want kids? You keep talking about what you want. Ask if he want kids,
I once heard someone say " when someone shows you who they are, believe them".
Could be a cop out due to him not being able to impregnateâŚmen are good at making the real issue into something else
I think babies are gross I am not a man, find a person who does not think babies are gross. The end
I have an 11 yr old and yes i still think Babies are grossâ:sweat_smile: but i still want another one
Leave the bum!! He is not worth your time! Lady you have a child to raise, concentrate on that!
Iâve got 4 kids, babies are gross haha
Itâs a man-child. Donât waste your time.
Itâs because it is not his
Heâs not the one period
Wow steer clear of him for your childâs sake!
Run. 31 and still a selfish baby him self.
If you are wanting to have more children, I donât think you should stay with him. I too think babies and kids in general are gross but my boyfriend has two from a previous relationship and I adore them. But as far as having babies, its not for me. So I get where he is coming from.
Cut your losses and run âŚ
Find someone else who wants to have children ,and loves you and your daughter .
Whats in diaper and everywhere else is gross lol
I would mention to him that even our parents are still learning. When our parents were first time parents I can imagine most of them had no idea what they were doing. Iâve tried to have children, but after a fallopian tube rupture I honestly kinda canât now. Oddly enough I am somewhat thankful for it, because even at age 25, I donât even have the mental capacity to be fully independent right now. Plus Iâm too traumatized to try again. Babies are such hard work, and babies donât have any ability to comprehend shit. Even with badass parenting, babies are selfish. But thatâs because theyâre babies and need guidance even after the age of 18. But there are many women born with that maternal instinct such as I, and become absolute legends at heart.
But to answer your question, no I donât think itâs normal for boys to think babies are gross
May be he is being honest as a baby/child does change your life
So many people do not want children and still say they are happy and they stand by their choice. Do you want more children
Not everyone wants kids⌠donât try to make him feel bad for that⌠You can have a relationship and not have kids involved⌠There are all kinds of relationships that work in all kinds of ways⌠If itâs something that puts you off then let him go so that someone else can enjoy his company⌠And you can find someone more your type!!
If he hasnât formed some kind of bond with your daughter by now, then he is not what SHE needs in a step parent. Find someone who appreciates you fully (that includes your daughter)and stop wasting your time.
Letâs make a baby, I need a working uterus
Would not go back if you want more kids. He may never help you with the kids. Not family material.