Is it normal for men to think babies are gross?

Girl, he hates kids. Run.

If your gut says he needs to be gone then go with that. It sounds like you already know but are unwilling to accept. Move on with your life old chapters are for reading and growth not for reliving.

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Dont worry about the fact that he thinks babies are “gross”. Worry more about the fact that he makes little to no effort to bond with the child that you already have. I personally wouldnt want to be with anyone that is like that with my kids…

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I’ve never found babies gross I love the way they smell smile laugh and cuddle I admit changing diapers is not great but hell its part of loving babies

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I think babies are gross… and weird, and creepy. Not terribly fond of them at all really, and I’m a single mother of twins (they’re 3.5 now, thanks goodness). :joy: I can still bond with babies though, in spite of those feeling, so THAT would probably concern me, not the “babies are gross” part.

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Depends on what you mean by babies? Like babies when they are born? Because I think babies are gross too lol I have 5 babies and never held one of them right out of me
I always asked them to get wiped off

But I love babies

Sounds like he just doesn’t like babies. Would be a deal breaker for me tbh. I need to be with someone who understands and likes children. It’s one thing to say they’re gross but like them and want them anyway, then to say they’re gross and have no interest in having any. Two different future outcomes.

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Kids are gross though. They’re walking germ factories. But obviously they’re growing beings and deserve a little understanding WHY they’re gross. BUT if he isn’t able to bond in any way with your LO, and you’re getting vibes that you’re not into that relationship any more. It’s time for you to go.

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Babies are super gross! I just had my 3rd under 6 weeks ago. Her daddy always wanted to be a daddy though and he honestly thought he couldn’t. 36 and no scares of pregnancy. Until I came along and he knew I wasn’t on birth control. I had just gotten some and started taking it and a week later we realized we were 6 weeks pregnant! Needless to say this little stink butt was born 10 months to the day of me and daddy getting together but he instantly connected with her. It is the purest thing to watch unfold and honestly it suits him. Now with all that being said being a parent isn’t for everyone. Both my older girls dads said it was what they wanted and then they refused to grow up and step up. Don’t force him in to anything that would be disastrous

Sometimes they throw up, some times they smell and cry or keep you up. But gross no That sticky baby food face is precious not discussing. Loved most of those days. Don’t have young grand children to do it over.

My concern would be the lack of bond with your current child. He sounds anti-kid. I think your gut knows the answer. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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He doesn’t want babies. You do. If having more kids is a deal breaker for you then your deal is broken, leave. Babies ARE gross. Most parents just ignore that in favor of the positive stuff. For some, parenting is not a good fit. He is not a good choice to father a kid if he is anything less than enthusiastic about it.

Yes it is normal. Spit up, snot, poop, bad eating habits ect. are not for some people.

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Are you really questioning whether you should be with a man that doesnt bond with/accept your child? Aint no man worth disrespecting my kid. I WOULD NEVER allow someone around my child that didnt respect him. Even if your kid doesnt say anything, Im sure it hurts or bothers them that someone is around even lived in their home and didn’t bother with them.

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There’s a saying in Spanish, (I’ve never heard it in English) “Children are like farts, you can only tolerate your own.” In many cases, this is true. For me it is! If it’s not my child, I really don’t care to bond with him/her and I know many who feel the same way but fake it.

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The fact that he hadn’t bonded with my child I already have would be a deal breaker for me.

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not everyone is prone to wanting children. the two of you just aren’t compatible and that’s okay. doesn’t make him a terrible person, doesn’t make you one either. just split up for good and explain to him that you don’t think y’all are compatible and it’s a deal breaker for you since you do enjoy children and you have one of your own. I want and love children, but honestly? they are gross lol. they have grimy hands most of the time. they can’t really control their bodily functions until a certain age. snotty noses and explosive poops? that’s all very gross. I wouldn’t mind cleaning it up bc I want kids. I love them and I understand that’s a part of having them. but it’s not for everyone and that’s okay.

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I stopped dating someone instantly who said they never wanted to have children. I’m not spending my life trying to change another persons opinion. If they tell you something, believe them. It will prevent a lot of disagreements and heartache.

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Totally normal… if he is also a baby. Otherwise he shouldn’t be having sex if babies are “gross”

‘People tell you who they are if you just listen’

He just told you who he is. You need to listen.

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Also a question regarding the bond, is your daughter even available for the bond? They can’t bond is both parties are not available and alot of times kids are not available as they dream of mom and dad together.

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Lemme put it this way.
My fiance’s cousin had his daughter right after I had my son. He thinks babies are gross. Why? Dude has a very weak stomach and if he sees a poo diaper he will vomit all over his child and whatever else is nearby.
Babies are gross hes not wrong

I think he has told you how he feels about kids. If you want a family, this is not the man for you. Do you and your child a favor and move on.

Kids are gross sometimes. I have 2 kids and I literally lived with my babysitter during the week, while I was growing up. When I had my first at 19, it took some getting used to. The way they spit up and have blowouts, that will always be disgusting. My son would throw up, and I’d be right there throwing up trying to clean up his throw up! So just relax, maybe he’ll get better. There’s no way to tell. And even if he does feel that way in the beginning, maybe he’ll just jump with both feet in, and be the best he can be…

Wow…seems you are trying to block out a major issue. He doesnt want kids…you do. No way around that. If want more kids…ditch him.At least you didnt say were already pregnant and knew he was this way, but thought a baby would change that. Lol. Men dont change like that. Babies can make them act worse.

I mean kids are gross….i have 2. He may just not want kids and there’s nothing wrong with that. So i would part ways and find someone that is ok with kids. Just because you feel a certain way doesn’t mean he has too

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Doesn’t sound like he wants children

I think you know the answer.

RUN AWAY. Don’t walk. When people show you who they are don’t imagine them to be someone different. it doesn’t change today and it doesn’t change next year or in 10 years, he doesn’t like children. You are a mother first and your first duty is to protect your child at all cost even if that means killing someone one day

Kids are gross. I have 3 :woozy_face:. Some people just don’t want kids and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. Dating someone with a child can make people realize that parenthood isn’t for them either. Break up and find someone that’s interested in having children. I’m not gonna bash this guy because he’s entitled to feel how he feels :woman_shrugging:

Well some men and women should never have or be around small ones its just not in their d n a.

Kids are grĂśss but like they touch everything with their slobery finger kinda thing :joy:

Nah he’s gross. Toss him out

HAVING CHILDREN WONT FIX A SHITTY PERSON/RELATIONSHIP. Children don’t have a say when being brought into this world, so it’s up to you to make sure they’re being brought into a loving environment.

Context and tone of voice are gunna be really important in this one. Babies ARE gross. I have 3 of them. Blow-out diapers, spit up, spaghetti all over their heads, EVERYTHING gets put in their mouth even gross stuff… 6eah babies are absolutely gross so his tone of voice and context are going to matter hugely.

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objectively, I think babies are pretty gross too. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: just lots of bodily fluids, just everywhere bc they haven’t been domesticated yet…not for everyone. now I also say that as I’m pregnant and can’t wait to see my own baby drooling all over everything, lol! a person can absolutely feel grossed out by them and think they’re pretty wonderful, especially when they’re theirs. there’s nothing that says he won’t be a wonderful parent based off of that fact alone. he probably doesn’t even realize that what he said is bothering you to such a degree that you’re questioning your future together because of it, and that doesn’t quite seem fair…but based on the fact that he and your daughter don’t have a bond, I’d be questioning it too. it seems that things went a little fast and maybe you two just don’t know each other very well yet and need a heart to heart about it.

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The thought of your child having to live with someone totally ambivalent toward her just breaks my heart. She deserves better than that. Imagine what years of living with that will do to her. Sad.

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If you do get back together with him, don’t have a child with him. The amount of women who seem to believe they should have a child/ren with every man they get into a relationship with is bloody ridiculous! It won’t make a relationship any better! Focus on the kid(s) you already have!!!

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He sounds very self centered he wants the attention on him not a child. He hasn’t bonded with your daughter most likely because he hasn’t tried. Move on. Looking for someone who enjoys children because thst is important to u

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Umm… Babies ARE gross. I had two… on purpose… and they were gross. I disliked that entire first year with each of them, but I knew it would be worth it once I got through the nasty baby stages, and it was. Not everyone has to like babies. I would be concerned that he hasn’t bonded with your other child yet though.

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Anyone who doesn’t think kids are gross is lying to themselves, has had it beaten out of them or has some weird fetishes. Kids are snotty, poopy, getting sticky messes over everything, etc. While it’s not their fault and they’ll grow out of it, that doesn’t mean it’s not kinda disgusting. Nothing particularly wrong with that.

The not bonding with your kid though, that’s kinda odd, I guess. As others have said, it’s worth having an honest and direct conversation about it and asking for his feelings towards having kids.

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I was never a fan of babies until I had my own … it changes your perspective; also-if he loves you truly, he would love anyone you would create together !

Adults can be just as gross, difference is, babies can’t help it.
If a man cannot bond with my child, then perhaps he’s not the right one. It’s a package deal.
The right one is worth waiting for, and your child deserves that equally as much as you do.

The number 1 person in this relationship right now should be your daughter - do what is best for HER - don’t even think about bringing another human being into this world until you are on the same page which it seems to me you are quite a few chapters apart - The end

Please put value in your child. Don’t allow any one to make her feel bad about herself. Don’t try to change him. You only have one chance to raise her I think you know in your heart already what is best for your family, he’s not family.

My boyfriend things babies and kids are gross and is afraid of them when they’re teeny tiny. But knowing him as a person, I can tell that will all change when he has a little one of his own. I have no reservations about having children with him and I know he will make a great dad. With that being said, it seems like you already know that this guy isn’t a good fit for you to have a family with and I think you need to move on.

Just the fact he’s not bonded with your daughter in 3 years would be enough for me to leave… and if he tells you he doesn’t like babies and doesn’t want kids, at 31 years old, he’s more than likely not going to end up changing his mind.

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I’ve been here in a relationship 7 years moved in after 2 years I had a daughter who was 3 when we moved in together. He told me right around the 7 year mark he just couldn’t love my daughter after 7 years🤨 that told me the kind of person he was and that wasn’t for me

I think babies and kids and teenagers are gross! It’s ok though I knew not to have any. I wouldn’t date a man if he had any either. It’s the way I feel and I’m not sorry for it…btw. everyone who knows me knows this is how I am. I’m a good person and a nice person and that’s all that should matter…

Not necessarily a man thing.
I think babies/ children are gross but I have a toddler and currently expecting again and I wouldn’t dare pick anyone else’s boogers except theirs :joy:
If he hasn’t really formed a relationship with your daughter after 3 years then maybe he just isn’t the one but things do change once you have your own child. My husband didn’t like nor understand children til we had our own and now he wants as many as I want to push out :joy::joy:

But do understand everyone is different. Sit down with him and talk about your future together before making a decision.

I don’t like babies I hate the baby phase. All they do is eat, poop and cry. They don’t have a lot of personality. I like them once they start getting there own voice and I can play with them more. I have 3 of my own and I just never enjoyed the baby phase. Once they hit about 1 year it was all over and I was in love.

  1. Do you want thus guy to be a father figure and have a relationship with your daughter. Like you said, it hasn’t happened yet in 3 years….
  2. You need to ask yourself first and then him if he wants the same things as you. Stop wasting your time.

I think you already know what you want to do. It’s hard to let go of somebody you loved. Doesn’t sound like he’s a good match for you and your kid. I think you went back because we get comfortable with certain people in our lives and it’s convenient. It’s up to you to really be truthful to yourself if this man is the one.

First of all aside from future children, ask yourself if this is the kind of man you want for your daughter. Do you want your daughter to grow up with a man who’s never bonded with her, most likely a man that would just be gone in a few years anyway. He sounds very immature and obviously not looking at the same future you are

It appears that he is not too interested in children in general. I am usually cautious within people who aren’t interested in children or animals. They tend to be self centered. Frankly if it were me, I wouldn’t put my dtr thru anymore indifference because young children will interpret that as there is something wrong with them.

Your child shouldn’t have been introduced to this man without a commitment. :woman_facepalming:t4:
Don’t date if you can’t leave your kids out of it.

I’d just be straight up, hoping it’ll change if you get pregnant is just gonna lead you into failure and pain.

This is an easy one. Why subject you and your child to this selfish abusive man-child? Don’t waste anymore time trying to analyze him and shelter your child from anymore feelings of rejection. Get out!!

Man babies will spew on you. Piss on you and shit on you. My kid one-time shat all up my arm. That’s definitely gross. Didn’t mean I didn’t love him entirely but yeah he was gross quite a lot while he was a baby.

I would initiate an open and honest conversation with him about the reality of having kids, and reassure him that if he doesn’t want kids he can tell you. Me and my partner have been living together for 5 years and from the get-go we both agree that we don’t want kids. We just generally have no interest in it, don’t want to commit ourselves to something for that long, or be responsible for another human life, we want to travel and a lot of the things that we want in life are harder to accomplish when you have kids. Maybe the “babies are gross” is a hint at it? Maybe he’s unsure of what he should say because maybe he wants to be with you but realizes that he doesn’t want to have kids and so it’s a difficult thing for him? Either way, a big conversation needs to happen and it needs to happen quick before you bring him back into your life fully!

I’d be more concerned about the not bonding with your daughter. However he may just not know HOW! some people have terrible interacting with kids because they don’t know how to do it. You could talk to him about it and see if he just needs help. But to talk about it you have to be open and nonjudgmental. I have 5bio kids and they all have been gross :rofl: I have one stepdaughter and it’s been 7 years and only in the past couple years have I been able to have a really close relationship with her. It took lots of work and tears to get to this point.

Yes you are sure but wish you weren’t. Unless you want to makeexcises for him the rest ofyour life and are willing to answer some hard questions for your child in a few years or want him to be the male role model in the child’s life,stop wasting time.

Why would you even consider having a child with this person… You have one child already with out a father.

I think the more telling comment is that after three years he hasn’t bonded with your daughter. Do you really want her to be in a relationship with a man who is so disconnected? Because this isn’t just YOUR relationship.

Anyone who thinks babies are Gross has a childlike mind. Get rid of him!

Sounds like he has a hang up about having children would definetly be a red flag for me. Have a good talk with him and see if you can get a Jones straight answer. Think about your child to she will be a step child and he needs to bond with her.

My daughter loves kids, but she thinks babies are gross and not exciting or cute. She’s not going to have children either.

Run for the hills ASAP … get your baby girl away from him … he’s got red flags everywhere !!

Using the word gross and babies in the same sentence would have made me snap my head around and glared at him until he turned to stone. Lol really I think you already know and just are wanting other people to help you say what’s already in your heart. Your child is only in elementary school please please please choose your child. There is plenty of time to date and settle down later. That guy isn’t for you and why are you going to settle? Be single a while and enjoy life. Enjoy your child they are at a beautiful age!

He might want a family, but he is going to leave you with alllllllll the childcare. Guaranteed.

Sounds like he wants kids that he doesn’t need to interact with. Run.

Sounds like a selfish loser, dump him – spent too many years with someone who never connected with his sons

Not compatible way of thinking. Would reconsider. He wont necessarily change his mind and it would cause long term heartbreak for you and any children you had with him IMO

Run. He doesn’t like kids, he doesn’t want kids, and you already have a daughter. Just run.

Babies, kids, teenagers, and even a lot of adults are gross. Humans and animals are gross. Nature is gross. Life in general is just ick once you actually think about it :woman_shrugging:
I don’t like kids in a sense. I like my kid but that’s about it. Wasn’t trying to have one, hated the entire pregnancy, almost died in labor too. Doesn’t mean I’ll be hateful or hurtful towards others or my own, just means I don’t want anymore and I’ll probably never be in a career that involves kids, like a babysitter or teacher.

If he doesn’t want a child but you do then that’s something you need to discuss with him and him only as only he has the answers you’re seeking, you and him are the only ones who know the actual situation. 99% of the problems here can be solved by communicating.

If he doesn’t want a family period and you don’t want to give that up as one child isn’t enough for you, then either discuss assisted pregnancy, surrogate, fostering, or adopting. If its still a no and you still really want it then clearly you’ve answered your own question and should take leave to find someone who actually wants the same things as you do as that’s what you should be spending your relationship time doing is figuring out if this person is what you want before you want to have children with them as that just makes the splitting process more difficult when you finally realize after all the flags that this person is not right for you. Like what do people do when they get in a relationship? Stop finding out things about their partners? Stop wondering, learning, and communicating? So you know everything about your partner and you’re just living day to day going wherever the wind takes you? Work at your relationship first as there’s a lot of lack of communication, then discuss the possibility of having a family but only if both agree to it and if one does not then you make the choice of what to do. It’s your life on the road, grow up and take the wheel.

Is that what you want for your daughter? Someone who just does ok with her?

Don’t try to force children on someone who doesn’t want them. I’m 34F and I don’t want chidren. I don’t live my life in a way where I’d want to date someone with children either. But I make that perfectly clear. He may not know he has that choice. Perhaps have a conversation with him about it?

Crotch goblins are just not for everyone. I personally find them gross, and have since I was 16…

Find a mature man and get married before having any more children……

Do HE want kids? You keep talking about what you want. Ask if he want kids,

I once heard someone say " when someone shows you who they are, believe them".

Could be a cop out due to him not being able to impregnate…men are good at making the real issue into something else

I think babies are gross I am not a man, find a person who does not think babies are gross. The end

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I have an 11 yr old and yes i still think Babies are gross​:sweat_smile::sweat_smile: but i still want another one

Leave the bum!! He is not worth your time! Lady you have a child to raise, concentrate on that!

I’ve got 4 kids, babies are gross haha

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It’s a man-child. Don’t waste your time.

It’s because it is not his

He’s not the one period

Wow steer clear of him for your child’s sake!

Run. 31 and still a selfish baby him self.

If you are wanting to have more children, I don’t think you should stay with him. I too think babies and kids in general are gross but my boyfriend has two from a previous relationship and I adore them. But as far as having babies, its not for me. So I get where he is coming from.

Cut your losses and run …

Find someone else who wants to have children ,and loves you and your daughter .

Whats in diaper and everywhere else is gross lol

I would mention to him that even our parents are still learning. When our parents were first time parents I can imagine most of them had no idea what they were doing. I’ve tried to have children, but after a fallopian tube rupture I honestly kinda can’t now. Oddly enough I am somewhat thankful for it, because even at age 25, I don’t even have the mental capacity to be fully independent right now. Plus I’m too traumatized to try again. Babies are such hard work, and babies don’t have any ability to comprehend shit. Even with badass parenting, babies are selfish. But that’s because they’re babies and need guidance even after the age of 18. But there are many women born with that maternal instinct such as I, and become absolute legends at heart.

But to answer your question, no I don’t think it’s normal for boys to think babies are gross

May be he is being honest as a baby/child does change your life
So many people do not want children and still say they are happy and they stand by their choice. Do you want more children

Not everyone wants kids… don’t try to make him feel bad for that… You can have a relationship and not have kids involved… There are all kinds of relationships that work in all kinds of ways… If it’s something that puts you off then let him go so that someone else can enjoy his company… And you can find someone more your type!!

If he hasn’t formed some kind of bond with your daughter by now, then he is not what SHE needs in a step parent. Find someone who appreciates you fully (that includes your daughter)and stop wasting your time.

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Let’s make a baby, I need a working uterus

Would not go back if you want more kids. He may never help you with the kids. Not family material.