Is it possible to be friends with your childs father?

All boils down to if the 2 people wanna be vindictive and selfish or if they wanna be kind and do whats best for the children and make sure that that child comes first and whatever is decided is for that child’s best interest even if the adults have to give some things up and compromise…gotta love the kid more than getting even and material stuff…then once everything is sorted you stay calm and communicate even when things happen that you don’t really like. And keep putting the child’s needs first both adults and it works.

Yep. After we divorced, I hired my ex as my nanny! He was still involved with our kids and I didn’t have to worry about their safety. We even continued to take ‘family’ vacations for years.
He was my best friend before we married and stayed that way until the day he died.

It is definitely possible. You both have to put away your feelings about your relationship. It is now about your child and the relationships surrounding them. My divorce was not a good one in the slightest but my ex’s wife now is my best friend. I am currently house hunting for them so they can move closer to us. My ex, his wife, my husband and all our kids (my ex and I share one child) travel together, go to Disney together and truly enjoy the company. Had you asked me when we divorced if we’d be friends…not a chance in snowy hell. But here we are because of one little girl.

Yes its definitely possible for two seperated parents to be friends. Its not possible though if one of the parents is bitter. All i wanted was to be able to coparent with my ex & he made it impossible for it to happen cause he was so dam bitter. Took him 8 years to finally admit that my husband did a great job as a step father. But my son was already over 18 years old. Meaning it was too late. Hopefully y’all can work it out though

My ex-husband and I are friends. You both just have to be committed to it. We spend holidays and our grandchildren’s birthdays together and with his wife. You just have to remember that your children and grandchildren are the best reason to get along

Our daughter was in this situation. But the children really loved for him to be there for school programs, etc. if you can make it work. Do it for the children.

It can be done ! My sons father and I have always remained friends we just didn’t work out we never went through court and we talk about everything and make decisions on things in his best interest because in the end the child comes first and it doesn’t do anyone any good to be angry but I do understand not everyone would be that easy to get along with no matter what so depends on the people I guess

I have been n still are very good friends with my kids dad, after 15 years n kids grown we still do stuff together as a family, I feel like it was n still is the best thing for my kids n they understand. They deserve both parents n for them to get along unless someone is in harm’s way.

I know of some families who rocking it! It’s about maturity & remembering it’s for the happiness of the kid(s) involved.

Absolutely!!! It takes TIME!
It took me and my daughters dad until she was around 3 to finally have a friendly coparenting relationship. There are still days I feel annoyed about him not paying the full amount of child support, but I’m just glad he stepped up and helps with our daughter.
We even do things with her together too. Even his girlfriend joins and we all just parent together. It’s the best!

A friend of mine got divorced but were able to stay friends. They had holidays together just because the two of you can’t get along as a married couple does not mean you can’t be friends or at least cordial. A lot has to do as to why you’re separating

Just remember that your ex is no longer with you, so he’ll do things his own way. You made your son together n if either of you bad mouth the other it effects me them. Maybe talk w your ex bout family functions, no introducing mates to the child until after a set period, keep sending bday cards by kid to the other. Do anything to include the ex in child’s life. But have guidelines for boundaries with each other.

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Yes. My son’s dad and I split up 8 years ago when my son was 2. It took us a while. There was a little bit of pettiness to begin with but we got there. Both of us now married to other people, siblings also added to the mix on dad’s side.
We had to put aside whatever crap we’d gone through and forgiveness was a massive thing too.
My main advice is don’t judge how he parents. Don’t get in his business and don’t let him get in yours it’s just not worth it.
Set a routine for every one to stick to.
Make sure child support is in place.
Take it in turns to do appointments and parent teacher meetings etc.
Try not to argue in front of your child.
Be nice to your ex’s new partner, she may end up being a second mum to your child. You have to work together.
Good luck. You can do it. Try and let go of the pain if there is any xx

Yes absolutely but only if both of you are willing to make it work for the kids and leave your past relationship out of it. Me and my daughter’s father who she is now 18 we still talk and get along and he’s even cool with my current boyfriend. They may not always be perfect and you may not always agree on things but you need to set your differences aside and never Bash one another in front of the children. I think it’s so much better when you can make it work and get a log for the kids. I hope everything works out for you :heart:

I’ve always gotten along with my kids dads. Of course there’s been disagreements along the way, we got passed those. Our kids are grown now and I still chat with them.

My ex and I share a daughter. When we first split up, things were a little rocky, mostly from hurt feelings. Now, like 2.5 years on, we get along really well. We chit chat with each other about the kiddo or little problems we’re having. I’m remarried, and while our relationship was a little weird for my husband at first, now he totally gets it. He and my ex are on friendly terms as well.

I’m not friends with either one of my kids fathers. I can’t coparent because co means more then one person. Good luck

Yes it can!! It took me a few years to fully forgive my ex for all the water under our bridge. But I still remained “friendly” in front of kiddo. Now she is 15…was 8 when we split. We do truely get along and are friends now. Someone had me start a journal and it really helped. Have each of your friend write something motivational for you on one of the pages. My favorite was “She thought she could so she did”. Your kiddo will be so grateful to you both.

In my experience if you two have sour feelings towards each other theh wont go away just because you break up or spend less time together. My daughters bio father and I never got along and that has transferred into our time apart as well. You can strive to get along and be civil when necessary but I wouldn’t expect to be “friends”

Can’t speak from personal but my sister has two boys by two separate dads and they are all cordial but I wouldn’t consider them friends. I think that will have to come with time. At first it was awful. They dogged her really hard (both baby daddies disliked each other before and then when sister had babies by each they hate each other a lot) but my sister is at least civil now. She was always open though and allowed a lot for the sake of the kids and the relationship with her and the men are getting better as time goes. Maybe one day they can be friends but this has been 6 years and counting.

Yes . A good friend of mine . They weren’t meant to be together but they are all civil and good friends . It made growing up with two families so much easier … and the parents made sure they were on the same page and same with any significant others . It takes work but if can happen

My children’s father and I separated after 14 years and we are great friends now! It’s definitely possible.

Well you guys will always have that Bond with him cause of your children it’s Always good to keep The peace

It can be done by acting like adults, and being there for your child, and not use the child as a pawn as some do. You’re the ones not together anymore, not the child. The child needs both parents.

It can be done. I’m friends with my daughters father. But it took some time we had to learn to work with each other instead of against each other.

My sons dad and I r friends. We were together 15 yrs, we grew together. Our son is our number one priority bc once upon a time we used to be best friends. It took us awhile to get where we r. A lot of heard work and a lot of getting over the past an anger. We still talk like best friends every once in awhile. But our communication stays open for our son. It will get better :relaxed:

My oldest daughters father is at all our family get togethers.was a pall bearer for my dad.we hadn’t been together in 13 years at that point.heck my husband he and I will go out for drinks.one must love their child more than they hate each other

I’m the child in the scenario and I am happy to report that my parents are extremely civil with knew another! I’m 43 with 2 kids of my own and we spend holidays, birthdays and sporting events together. They wish each other (and step mother) merry Christmas, bally birthday and happy holidays and exchange gifts at Christmas. My high school graduation gift was a trip…with everyone! It can be done and I am well aware of just how much effort goes in on everyone’s part and I know that they do it for me and my family and I love them all the more for it. I may not always be this way, but you can work towards it. You have to keep your issues separate and away from your child(ren). That’s the most important…kids first. I wish you the best and think that since you are already thinking in this direction, you’ve got a good start!

Not at all. If actually a healthy realatioship to be friends. Respect each other to have other lives.

My ex and I get along so much better now then we ever did while together. I think he is even a better father. No we dont hang out but we talk about the kids all the time. We talk twice a week. So I think it is possible to be “adults” for children. That’s what really matters in the end!

My brother is friends with his sons mom. There were times when my brother & his wife would be her and her hubby and his son for dinner.

My kids dad and i never got along. Split when my son was 6. We’re better friends and co parents now. Didnt do anything through courts except draft papers about decisions in the event of emergencies and visitation. We work pretty well together. Still have disagreements but we figure it out and my son doesnt see his parents fighting anymore. We spend some holidays all together including my husband whom I have a baby with now. One summer we all stayed in a shore house together we were walking down the board walk a chain of 4 me holding my husband and sons hand and my son holding his dads hand. It was very sweet and Im glad we all get along so well. Just both parties have to be civil and grown up about everything. Not many people can do that as well.

Yes! My son (10) his dad and I split up when he was 1, we have both gotten remarried, we have birthday party together,have dinner at each others house, watch fireworks together, I even let my other children go to his house to spend nights and hang out (he only has our son) we have never gonna to court, never had to.since day one we have always decided to put our son 1st, the key is to not get involved in the other person’s personal life

My daughter dad and I are friends. I don’t always agree with him and I don’t express my disagreement on many things to keep the peace. Unless it’s something major then I’ll peacefully bring it up. We all (my husband son daughter and daughters dad) all went on a vacation together.

It certainly can. The trick is for neither party to use the child as a pawn to get what they want, always put the child’s interests first, never speak badly or complain about things like child support in front of your child. All that really accomplishes is to make the child feel like a burden and make them think that Daddy doesn’t care enough about their needs. Even if that is true, they will figure it out all by themselves. No matter how tempting, never play the blame game. My ex and I were divorced when my son was about 8. We managed to get along very well and our son’s needs and feelings always came first. He is 38 now and has good relationships with both of us and my ex and I still get along

Definitely possible. When me and my kids dad split we had to get the court involved and it was a rough 2 years after the divorce but we eventually got to where we can co parent very well and do things with the kids.

I’ve learned acceptance. I can’t interfere in their relationship even when I think they both can do better. I had to let go of all my anger about what he “shoulda” done and focused on me.

Time was our answer. We started out amicable. That faded rather quickly. It seemed to start the moment either of us had “someone” in our lives. After a a
few, 8 to 10 years we both learned to be more than civil. We actually help each other out, in almost everything. There is NO romance…one of us, me actually has been with the same someone now for 31 years. And my someone and my ex are very good friends. They both love our kids.I just wish the ti.e frame inbetween would have been shorter, but the ugliness did get less and less as time went on.Some of my friends never got better in their relationship. Takes effort and kids first!

It can be, if both parties are in agreement, with the terms and conditions. Unfortunately, its not always the case. I had a good run with my ex, every few years, but hes made it nearly impossible, to be consistent in our daughter’s life. Shes older now, and doesn’t want contact anymore. I warned him that she will see what hes doing, on her own. I always made excuses on his behalf, but you know what that got me? An angry teen, who blamed me for his absence. She recently came to terms with me not being at fault. I wish I would have gone through court sooner, and saved myself grief, trying to constantly over compensate. Your job as the mother, is to make sure your child is taken care of; by court order or not. The choice is up to the individuals involved.

I divorced my kids dad 10 years ago and we have a great friendship. My new husband and my ex can talk and we co-parent great together. We don’t hang out or no8 ut we put our differences aside and make it work for the kids. .

Yes friends with both my children’s fathers and their families. We everything as a team. My exs kids even spend weekends and wks with me.

You can do it. Both of you have to be open to respecting the shift in your relationship, give it time and realize no other human in the universe loves your child the way you and your ex do.

I have many friends who co parent well together and do things for the positivity of the child. BUT they had amicable divorces/break ups not abusive etc. they don’t hang out like bffs but for birthdays, holidays and school events they work well together.

My ex and I are still strained most of thw time but I know a few people who have remained friends with their child’s other parent, both mothers and fathers.

It can be done if both are on board with putting the differences aside for sake of the kid. Keep your personal grudges to yourself. It does no one (least of all you!) any favors.

It took about 4 years of hell that his new wife caused but we now all get along great!! We have been divorced for 9 years

My son was 2 when we divorced and were great at getting along until our son turned 18

Yes… If the new gf or wife is OK with it. If not… Good luck! I had no problem with my hubby and his ex-wife being friends but my ex hubby’s wife did not like that! Even several states away…

I am good friends with my ex and his wife we go camping together, family parties. Get along really well.

Yes it can work, I split with my sons dad when my son was 3 weeks, he saw his once a week and still does and our son is 7, we meet together x while he sees his son we talk about our lives, he got a new relationship quite close to when I go mine and both of us have children now, I think his girlfriend is lovely

It took some time but my sons dad and I get along great now. If your both adults it is possible

My ex husband is fabulous and so is his young wife! It can be done! We all raise 4 kids together and she makes me brownies lol

I have two different daddies for my kids. Two belong to one and my youngest belongs to someone else.
I’m not friends or talk to either one of them unless it has to do with my children.
I talk more to my hubbyness ex wife than I talk to my ex’s.
I talk more to my kids step mom than I do with their dad.

Yes, I have two grown up children and I split from my ex when my youngest was 5 and half months old she is now 34yrs old, we both remarried but have remained on good terms and my children had regular contact with their dad throughout their childhood, and both still have regular contact with him now.

My oldest sons father and I were together for 8yrs and of course it was a rollercoaster ride at first but things got better between us and we are good

I would love to help but I can’t. I have absolutely no contact with my children’s father. We can’t talk 2 minutes before an argument starts

We have gotten through. It’s alot of work… I still don’t like him or trust him…but I never say or elude to that with the kids. BEST ADVICE I GOT: treat to like a business relationship … Keep things logical and rational, and is unemotional as possible. Even if you have to vent to someone else about some of the emotions involved. At first I always did things in writing, text or email that way when the confusion came in about who said what It was just there in an email just like I would have sent it work just the details and amicably getting along that way

It honestly depends on how mature you both can be. It takes letting go of the hurt you eached caused to one another for the benefit of your child together! It’s definitely possible but it will take effort on both your parts. It can’t be a one way street.

Yes it is. It’s hard and it takes practice but sometimes people are better off as friends and being together. In my case I did with my ex-husband until stop went bad. But I’m one that seems to be able to get along with my man’s ex when he can’t

100% you can! I’m in the process now & we talk every day for our son. We take “vacations” to see eachother with our son (we live in different states due too military), but totally possible mama.:heart:

When you love your children more than you hate the ex-spouse it def can be done. I have 2 role models, my niece and best friend. Both decided to separate from their respective spouses. I was devastated because I loved not only my niece & my best friend, I loved their husbands as well. I worried about “choosing” sides, I worried about the kids being thrust in the middle. I worried about all of being together at gatherings at same time because we all had same friends. Well these 2 sets of couples decided they loved their children and extended family more than they disliked each other. It has been over 10 years since the divorces. Both parties are remarried & have new children-all of whom are my newest nieces & nephews! We all celebrate good & bad (we had multiple funerals) times together. We still party & celebrate fun times together. They all made sacrifices-some very big & costly-but they did it because they love their children and families more than they disliked each other. I cannot brag enough about them. We have been to each others child birth, to mothers & grandmothers birthday parties, sadly to funerals, graduations, military send offs. We are all the very best of friends to each other and for that I am so thankful.

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It took some time. But my x and I are good friends. He even stays at the house with hubs and I when. Visiting evan. My son thinks its great. He gets the best part of dad with out seeing the fighting we did when married. It takes time and a bit of not holding grudges on my part but it works now.

It’s possible! It took about 6 years for us to get to that point though. It had a lot to do with the woman he left us for. She did not want him to have any interaction with me. After he finally left her, he realized what he had been missing in our daughter’s life. He turned over a new leaf and we are able coparent like champs.

I have a cousin who has moved on and his first gf/ baby mama watches his new child from his current gf… the ex was bitter at first but they put their stuff aside for the kids… they hang out all together with kids weekly if not daily when bm1 watches the new baby

It can be done, you both just need to be mature and respectful of each other and the kids.

My parents got along better after they got divorced than they did at all when they were married. They even still call each other to see what the other is getting us for bdays…I’m 31 and my sister is 25, they got divorced 21 years ago. Some people can coparent very well. It’s in the attitude and respect for one another.

It can definitely be done. My parents split when I was 4, and even though the split itself was for an ugly reason, they managed to keep a great relationship. My mom would even sleep over with me at my dad and stepmom’s house every Christmas Eve so I could have them all there Christmas morning. Birthdays were always together, they really worked hard to make sure I didn’t miss out on anything. I think what really helped them was something my grandma said when they broke up, and it may help you too: “you need to love your children more than you hate each other” it may mean sometimes biting your tongue and being the bigger person, but it will be better for your child in the long run.

I have a 12yr old and 7yr old and actually get along with both their dads very well and so does my boyfriend! It hasn’t always been that way it took a lot of hard work and a lot of growing up on all sides, we now even have them over for cookouts! It’s not impossible at all!

Its not being friends its maintaining a civil relationship for the sake of your children. As long as both u can act like adults and have it just about the kids then there shouldn’t be crazy issues

Yes it definitely can be done but it takes both parties being willing to do it. My best advice is to not push it and let the animosity subside before attempting to be friends. It’s actually in your son’s best interest that you can get along as friends. The same is true for future step parents. I am now divorced but still consider my step son’s mother one of my best friends. Everyone involved has to be willing to put the bad feelings aside and make an effort to get along for the sake of the children. It takes time, patience and maybe even some knock down drag out fights to get there. But it’s well worth it in the end.

Of course. I always show respect to my ex in front of the kids and she does as well.

Yes! Its possible. Im friends with my kids dad. Hes probably one of my best friends, our kids in the spectrum so we have to be a solid team.

You may not win the battle but you can win the war. Took me years but I had to let it go for my kids. Peace is paramount…

Yes you can for the sake of your children . I’ve done it for 36 years we’ve learned we can’t get along married but we make ok friends.

My parents tried and never stopped trying to play nice I guess you can say. They had their moments of disagreements and my mom most of all would just talk so much smack lol and my dad would just yell and walk away saying “fine do what you want, just let me know how much they will need” :joy::joy::joy: these 2 were nuts. But didnt stop my dad from allowing mom to meet all his GF and even ask her for advice if she thought they were good fit for him :joy::joy::joy: NUTS! I’m telling yall. The day my mom passed away I could tell right there and then he still had so much love for her and us. He cried non stop for a while and right away fixed himself up and did everything for her funeral since my siblings and I weren’t in the right mindset or old enough.

Find respect for each other by remembering them as more than just your baby daddy or your ex that did you wrong. Try being friends and yes remember you’re now doing it for your kids. Your marriage didnt work for yall but your friendship has to work for their sake.

I get along great with my sons dad!! We have very few issues… it’s not the kids fault so why make it miserable on him…

My ex and I get along so much better now that we aren’t together 11 years and 3 kids later. We were toxic together and it took about a year to get to this point but it’s nice. Our kids are priority one

Me and the father of my kids have been seperated for almost 4 months now after a 5 yr relationship. We coparent and we di actually have a really good friendship. Its possible. We want our kids growin up knowing that just because mom and dad aren’t together dosent mean the kids have to suffer. Its ok for you to ne seperated and not get along all the time but holding a friendship so your kids can see that is also important

Yes it definitely took time but we are really good friends now. We didn’t do anything in court. And do events together for birthdays and things. My bf and I actually went to my ex’s 4th of July party yesterday!

Yes if you’re both mature enough. I never said anything bad about their dad to them. People couldn’t believe we were not together. I would sit next to him at my son’s games or his girlfriend if she came.

Not for me as my husband and I are married.

My mom and dad separated when I was 3. They divorced, on Valentine’s Day, a couple years later. They were oil and gas while married. My mom always informed my dad on when events were taken place for my brother and I and they would always go out after. They were not meant to be partners, but they definitely became great friends. My dad passed when I was 12 but my mom always made sure I was at events with my dad and my dads side of the family, after his passing.

It comes down to communication. Neither parent wanted my brother or I hurt. They made it work, as friends, and neither one ever talked bad about the other.

My so. Is 35 and we still celebrate birthdays and holidays you just need to put your child first. I am sure if you look at what is best for your son you both can see the benefits to co-parenting in a loving manner

It depends on the situation. My sons father and I are cool. It took us a very long time to get to that point though. My daughters father and I are not.

It can. If you both keep focus on what’s important and what your mutual goal is- and that’s to be good parents to your child. The 2 people in the world who care most about that child are you Nd him if you both keep that focus and work toward that only. Be respectful and mindful of each other. Yes. It can. My oldest is 16- her father and I split when she was 1. Hes not in thr pic anymore by his own choice- but I have never will never EVER say a bad word about that girls father in her presence. Ever. Its hurtful to the child to hear People say badd things about either of her parents…and the way I saw it…there is not 1 single soul on the face of this planet that is important enough to me that I’d hurt my own child to get at them. Ever. That goes along way hard as it was sometimes…ill never EVER regret that-or regret picking my battles and keeping my mouth shut ALOT. was hard- but ill never regret it

My sons dad gets him every weekend, he got some one else pregnant and I went to here baby shower a few weeks ago. We get along but it did take a year to get to where we don’t fight.

I was with my son’s father for 25 years and have been separated for 5 years and we check on each other often

It is possible. I’m friends with my 11 year old sons father, and with my sons stepmom.
It might not be possible right after the breakup, but you can get there.

Yes. Yes it is. I’m at his house to celebrate our kids bdays with his family, and he comes over to my place and plays video games and has dinner with us when the kids are here sometimes. That being said, neither of us are in a relationship with anyone else either.

Yes, it can be, and SHOULD be done. You are both adults. He is an innocent child caught in a hideous crossfire! REMOVE HIM FROM THE CROSSFIRE! Even if YOU’RE the only one to behave civilly with his father, don’t give in and use your son as a pawn. Easy? No! But I’ve done it. However, it took BOTH his father and I to agree our son would never be a pawn! You MUST mitigate as much pain from being inflicted on your child as possible. You’ll never be sorry!

I’m friends with my older two kids dad. It was good, then it was bad while he was with his younger sons mom (she hated me due to jealousy from him and I having kids together, by extension she hated my kids), then when they split we started getting along again. It’s been 7 years since we separated and it only started getting really good a year ago. It takes work on both sides, but its completely possible.

Yes. You need to do this for the kids unless there is circumstances for which there is no control.

It took many years but me and my daughter’s dad do very well. It takes not caring what the other is doing unless it hurts the children

:100:. My first son, his dad and I have remained good friends for 20+ years and counting. Been nothing but a blessing for our son!

It can be done but there are some things you must never do. 1. Dont use your child as a weapon to punish one another. 2. Don’t pump your child for info on each other 3. Keep your relationship with dad as your man and the relationship of father and child separated. 4. Do bad mouth each other or the new person that comes in. Keep your word and if you cant keep it don’t give it. Don’t accuse them of lying to you if you’re really lying to yourself and blaming them. If it’s over let it be OVER. DONT GO CREEPING BACK, GET PREGNANT AGAIN AND THINK THATS GONE MAKE HIM COME BACK OR CHANGE THINGS. 5. USE CHILD SUPPORT TO SUPPORT THE CHILDS LIFE AND NEEDS. 6. TEACH your child questions about are to be answered by mommy.

Yes, it is. You have to let go of the past and look forward with open minds. This new “parentship” isn’t about you, it’s about the child(ren). Understand that you have to deal with them for the rest of your life (possibly) so make it the best that you can. I co parents very well with my two ex’s, we would take yearly zoo trips and I go visit the families still and see them.

as long as use both can remember the child is the main factor hear regardless of your feelings for each other all should be good x

My ex and I did it. It was a long hard road with lots of ugly patches but we did it. Now we go to all the kids events together and just always put them first. In the beginning it is harder because one or both parties have hurt feelings and don’t trust each other but once a few years pass it get easier, just keep pushing through the discomfort to do what is best for the child and hopefully it will get better.

It can happen if you try hard to get along. My children’s father and I are divorced but we are friendly enough to each other to get along for the sake of the children.

It depends on the people involved, create healthy boundaries, be respectful, and it could work. Good Luck :four_leaf_clover:

It can be done. My sisters and brother was divorced. When my one brother got married, the exes came. When there is love for a child anything is possible. Remember you loved them enough to have a child, cope with them for your child