Am I wrong for asking the paternal grandmother to minimize the amount of videos/photos she takes of my daughter? When visiting, she literally walks in with the camera rolling. My daughter gets shy and distracted by the phone, and I feel like she’s missing out on the opportunity to truly connect and get to know her. She also sends things to people I haven’t met and has never asked me if it was ok to share. When I talk to her, she guilt trips me saying she just wants to remember everything because she loves her so much, and everyone loves to see her. Am I too controlling?
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No, your boundaries should be respected but most of all if the your child doesn’t like being recorded I’d tell her stop or else. My child has to be happy and comfortable, idc what anyone else wants when it comes to my child.
I had to tell my mother in law to stop taking pictures of our children and posting them all over social media. It is not wrong. It is a violation of your privacy if you don’t want it done. Definitely speak out those are your babies not hers
This isnt a battle worth fighting over. Let grandma enjoy her time even if it’s taking pictures.
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You have a problem with your child’s paternal Grandmother taking videos and pictures of her granddaughter when she visits her:roll_eyes: Controlling is NOT the word I’d use to describe you, 
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Seriously? Who cares. Let Grandma do her thing.
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Not controlling. You dont know the people shes sending these photos & videos too. Its unnerving & i have told people not to post my childs photos on the internet & ive stopped visitations cause they brought my child around people i didnt know. Its your job to keep that baby safe. Child trafficking is real. All it takes is one photo & a location to be spoken. Before so.ething bad may happen. If grandma cant respect you & your decision then maybe you need to put a stop to grandma visiting for a bit.
I am a Grandma and I would NEVER disrespect the parents of my grandchildren! Set your boundaries and maintain them! Screw these entitled witches trolling your post!
This is funny because my husbands mom goes crazy with pictures when she sees our kids. Kids hate it and she gets goofy pix because they refuse but whatever.
Its always petty to someone it doesn’t affect or bother.
This page is getting worse with how nasty people are to whoever it is that writing the question they want some sort of support for? Why so much judgement? This page is suppose to be supportive, not for criticism and name calling! Some of you are so immature and inconsiderate 
I’m the picture lady. I’m sorry but grandma isn’t going to be around forever and she clearly is so proud of them. Let her enjoy her time.
I take pictures of my kids all the time they know me. It’s great memories to look back on.
I remember my cousin house caught on fire she lost all her baby pics but lucky I’m the picture lady she has tons of pictures at my house.
One day she won’t be around treasure the time and memories
No You’re not controlling. You’re her mother. If you don’t like this or feel it’s not good for your child. Ask the grandma to stop it. Follow your gut feeling always. If possible do not ask for suggestions on facebook. People might not actually understand your problem including me.
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What if it was your mom
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I’m a Grandma myself, so I completely understand what a blessing Grandbabies are! Obviously Grandma doesn’t live with you so she doesn’t get to see her every day. This is her way of feeling connected to her. You also don’t say how old your daughter is. My grandkids changed so fast that I was glad to have my pictures of when they were babies. I say be more understanding of the Grandma. Why aren’t you taking pictures of them both together? That would be a precious and thoughtful thing to do.
Yup. Controlling. Let her capture the moments while you live them. Sounds like a good combo to me!
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I wouldn’t make an issue of it .She adores her . She’s grandma .
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I dont allow photos of my children and no one is to post anything online of my kids. I dont even post photos often
As a paternal grandmother who is pushed out for the maternal side…i say you will be the mil one day…and karma will do to you what you do to this lady
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You shouldn’t mind her taking pictures and recording memories of the baby. I do understand not wanting her to send them to people you dont know though because you can never be too careful. If it were me I’d be glad she loves the baby so much but let her know that you’d just like her to ask before sending them to strangers
Are you controlling!!! 
Uh DUH! Stop being a helicopter mom. Grandma’s are supposed to spoil their grandkids. They’re GRANDMA!!! Some of us never even had a grandma. Be grateful your kid does
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Taking a few pictures is one thing, but if you never put the camera down long enough to really look at the child you’re the one missing out. And I don’t think she should share pictures without permission.
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You are NOT controlling at all, when my baby was born I let my mom and everyone in the family know I dont want pictures posted or shared of my baby. You don’t know who they might send it to. Especially now in days we as parents have to be more careful more than ever. Like you said it’s better to live in the moment then just look at pictures or videos. You are her mother and decided what is best for your child and don’t let anyone else say otherwise.
Yes she should take pics but she should ask d parents if she can share it an with who it just respect for them
I think a conversation about sharing the pictures/videos is appropriate. Explain you don’t feel comfortable blasting her face to people you don’t know. Her taking pictures/ videos of herself I don’t see as an issue. Do you ever send her any? So she doesn’t feel like she is missing out. And if it truly is an issue for you, stop going over there until she can respect your feelings
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She’s your daughter. Your rules are the rules to be followed. Period.
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Taking countless pictures and videos wouldn’t bother me. BUT sending them to people I don’t know and without my permission is a huge HELL NO.
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Well she’s taking videos and pics of YOUR daughter also you said sending them? You never know who she’s sending them to or why even send them? I don’t let my mom take pics like that.
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Definitely not. You don’t know what those people getting the pictures may be doing with them, and quite frankly it’s your kid. Why the hell should they care? It’s definitely within your rights to tell her to stop, and stick to your guns. Show her that you won’t be manipulated, because I guarantee if she’s disrespecting your parenting choices already, she’ll continue to do so. Put your foot down now so she knows that won’t be tolerated.
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I would have that conversation. Taking pictures and videos for her own memories is one thing but to send them to complete strangers YOU don’t know is where I would draw the line.
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If your daughter gets uncomfortable by it, yes it needs to stop. If you’re uncomfortable by her sending pictures to people you don’t know, yes it needs to stop. It’s not being controlling
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I found out my kid’s grandma has been recording my kids since they could talk and when she showed me the videos I bawled.
You’ll be thankful for those videos some day
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A proud grandma is a weird thing to be upset about
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Let her take pictures but they should be for her and just for her. I would crack up if someone I didnt know had pics/videos of my daughter it’s not right no body should give out pics of your children simples. Def have the convo and if your daughter isnt comfortable she needs to tone it down x
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100% you have every right to ask her to stop sending photos of your children to strangers, and if your child is uncomfortable with her continuing to take pictures and videos I would ask her to stop. I understand wanting the memories but when it comes to your child, she must follow your rules. If she guilts you, I would simply say, if you can’t understand you are making your grandchild that you love so much uncomfortable then maybe we should limit our visits until you can understand that it’s not okay.
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If that’s how you feel you should discuss it with her. You have that right momma
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You are absolutely not too controlling. She needs to ask your permission before sharing or sending any photos of your child. That is a safety concern. As for being too caught up in the camera, I would tell her she needs to focus more on spending time with your daughter and less on being paparazzi.
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Pictures are priceless memories. An adult conversation is better.
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Yes and no. Let her film and take pictures, but ask her not to share without your permission. Balance it out.
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Just have a nice chat with her to explain how you feel…shes obviously very proud of her granddaughter and wants to show her off, but if you feel uncomfortable with it see if you can both compromise x
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I don’t think it’s a problem for her to take the photos. But she certainly should respect your wishes with sharing the photos. And if she can’t respect that then you can have an issue with her taking the photos.
We made it clear with our kids paternal family that they weren’t to share photos or put them on social media as we had safeguarding issues. But they didn’t respect them so now we don’t send them photos.
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I wouldn’t care how many pictures my kids Nana takes of them. I prefer she doesn’t share them without letting me know but she is pretty respectful in that aspect.
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At first I thought your question was very odd. But the back story makes more sense, correct me if I’m wrong but it sound like its not really the pics/videos themselves you are worried about, its more the quality of time. Maybe you could compromise and ask the she focus more on quality time and you can on the sly(where your daughter isn’t aware, so she’s not so shy) takes pics and videos of them together?
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I love when my mother takes pics and videos of my daughter and sends them to me. But I also know who she shares them with. Maybe just ask her about the people she sends them to
The taking pictures part wouldn’t bother me. The sending them to God only knows who would work my nerves. There are sick people in the world and I would NOT want my son’s pictures and videos being sent to anyone that I wasn’t at least familiar with. It’s your kid and you have the say so.
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I wouldn’t be upset about her taking pictures. I do completely agree that she is missing out on time with her. I also would be upset with her sharing pictures and videos with people I didn’t know.
I would feel the same way if it was my mom, mother in law, or any other family member.
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She’s just a proud grandmother who wants to have pictures i don’t see anything wrong with it. As for her showing people im sure shes not going to share pics with anyone these people are probably her good friends. She’s just a proud grandmother who loves and adores her grandchild. Especially if she doesn’t see her everyday. She is making memories.
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Grandparents are intricate in the upbringing of grandchildren, at least most of us are. Pick your battles. This should not be one of them.
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I dont allow anyone but my husband to take photos of my kids anymore since no matter how many times i asked for them not to be posted on public facebooks or sent to strangers they still were now if a camera comes out we simply leave
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Not totally wrong .To many bad people might get hold of them !! Child molesters and such just saying…
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I wouldn’t mind them taking pictures or videos. I would mind that she was sending them to people i don’t know. We had strict rules in place about that and about people posting pics without our consent. I created a private album on Facebook and said anyone can upload there as i have picked who can see that album but no ine can upload anywhere else without checking with us first
How old is your daughter? I would talk to her about it and get her feelings. See if she can’t tell grandma herself that it makes her uncomfortable. She’s more likely to stop then
Not at all. It’s your child. People need your permission if they want photos
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You wouldn’t have your daughter if it weren’t for grand
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You should be happy she love her grandchilddd
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I am a grandma of a 10 month old little boy. I am guilty of taking tons of pictures of my grandson. I dont share them with others. I am doing a scrapbook of his 1st year so I have pictures of all his 1st’s, all holiday pics and pictures of his monthly birth dates.
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Yeah that’s a hard question. I am a grandmother and have 2 wonderful grandchildren. I took tons of pics of the first grandchild but have cut back a little. Grandchildren are just such a blessing and I want to show them off to friends and family. 
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What is wrong with it? Some day you may be thankful for her capturing memories.
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Sharing them is a problem, taking them is not.
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Eventually it will slow down haha
What’s with the strange posts hahaha
Not controlling at all. I hated my pic taken when I was little. It always made me self conscious. To this day I will not allow people to take my pic.
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Youre not wrong.
I hated when my parents took photos or videos of my son. Especially in the tub or running around the house naked and would post them online and send them to strangers or go behind my back and send then to his father.
His father who hes never met and is now in prison for raping an 8 year old girl.
It makes me furious to think about it.
My sister and i were both sexuall assaulted as children and ny parents still dont see the mistakes theyve made that would have prevented it and now they repeat those mistakes with my son and put him at risk for pedophiles.
You have every right to tell her not to take photos.
Honestly if it were me i would tell her either stop or shell never see him again
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You’re not controlling, and shouldn’t ever think that you are being when it comes to decisions regarding your children.
I understand where you’re both coming from - but I would say that sharing the pictures is the biggest problem. Yes she wants to remember everything so taking lots of pictures, but she also needs to live in the moment and witness them properly, not through a phone screen🙄
Sharing them is a big no though. I’m currently pregnant with my first, and have made it very clear to everyone that there is to be no pictures posted or shared anywhere. Anyone important enough to want photos of my son will be able to take them themselves, I don’t want any being posted or shared elsewhere by others especially as I won’t be broadcasting him to the whole world.
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My grandparents do this and share the photos with family members in Germany or far away. I have no problems with it, they are proud and want the family to see pictures. Of there Grand kids and great grand children. My grandparents don’t use social media, they send pictures via mail. My parents share photos they take I don’t see the problem with them doing that either as some family they only see on Facebook and they are proud, I find they seem to take more when it’s the first grand baby, then it seems to die down. But that’s just me. One day you’ll be a grandparent and you will want to do the same. Also sometimes my parents and grandparents have taken a better memory then I caught and now I have it as well.
Loosen up.
A Grandchild is a surprisingly affirming gift to come along.
We see our family genes renewed. And we’d forgotten about that.
We see our son/daughter showering the same love and devotion we showered them with. And we’d forgotten that.
We marvel at the tiny changes from day to day. We’d forgotten that.
Put the baby in her arms! She’s forgotten that sensation too.
And you can’t hold both a camera and a baby.
And every one will be rewarded.
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I would tell her. No effin kindness. Not to be sending to people me and my kids do not know. If she cannot respect that wish then no phone or any type of camera allowed for her in this house.
Dont take no type of guilt trip. She needs to respect your wishes as you are the mother. Not her.
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Your kid. Your rules. I don’t think you’re being controlling; you’re just being protective
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I’d be okay with her taking all the pictures she wanted, but it would be a HELL NO to sending or posting them without my permission. The digital world can be a very dark place.
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i don’t think you’re being controlling at all! but i think you should mention to her that you feel she’s missing out on connecting w your daughter. also tell her she can still take pictures and videos but just not so often & maybe you could send her things instead! also you should let her know that you’d prefer if she’d tell you who she was sending the pictures to & if you are ok w it.
There are many dangers of sharing children’s photos online, just google “Dangers of sharing children’s photos online” you will find many articles like this one. Not to mention the predators out there who can find the location of children by the data that is attached to the photos, especially ones taken with phones. It is totally a safety issue.
5 Reasons Not to Post About Your Child on Social Media | Jellies.
my ex sister in law and ex mother in law took gazillions of pics of my kids. honestly it never bothered me and now the 2 eldest are 23 and 20 and she has some pictures that i don’t even remember those times lol! im thankful she did that. im a gramma of 2 now, my grandson was just born a couple of weeks ago, but i still ask their mom when and if its ok for me to posts n share pics of them. she always sends me pics and videos of them but she likes to wait til they’re older and i respect that even if i’m dying to show him off!!
No, she needs to back off. As you have said, she isn’t connecting with your daughter. If she wants a picture offer to take a picture with the both of them, then she can put the thing away
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oh get over yourself
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My daughter told me I needed to ask permission before taking photos when she was very young, 5 or 6. We need to show children the same respect we show adults when it comes to personal integrity.
I would let most of it go. Im of the belief system that pictures aren’t for today, they’re for tomorrow. If anything, make sure she’s in more of the pictures with her grand daughter. You will never be able to get this time back.
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As a mother and grandmother, I respect my kids boundaries with their kids. If they ask me not to share certain moments I don’t. I had my opportunity to parent it is now their turn and I respect them as parents. Mom just talk to grandma and explain your concerns.
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I love that my mom is proud of and loves her grandkids. It doesn’t bother me one bit that she shows them off. My sisters kids paternal grandma passed away recently and they were very close with her and very happy they have all the pictures and videos to look back on.
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Grandparents or not thats very weird and can cause your child to become extremely camera shy or have your child feel nothing toward grandma but annoyed. Talk to her about putting the camera away so she can connect with her grandchild theres difference betweening showing off to brag about having them or showing off because you love them
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I think this is petty, it’s what a lot of grandparents do! Be happy you’re daughter has grandparents! I’m 48yrs and I just lost my grandpa at 95yrs old. I can’t believe all the photos he saved of me when I was little, I’m blessed and so are you.
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I agree with her taking as many pics& videos she wants to. Yes she may walk into a light post but I think it’s great bonding and can be fun. (I once had that but no more so remember that could happen too. Let her and your daughter have fun). But I do not agree with sending to strangers without the parents permission. Just remember she’s obviously having a great time with her granddaughter please don’t take that away from them or let your daughter see you angry about it. But do talk to her in private you don’t like her sharing without your permission.
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As a grandma I don’t share with out permission. If it wasn’t for my daughter-in-love, I would have never seen the babies walk. They were hours away, and she made sure I got lots of pics and clips as well.
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Who cares, be grateful. My mom used to always take pictures, I didn’t care. She had a stroke and she has all her memories that I will never have because they are all on her electrics.
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I wish my parents were alive so they could see my daughter
When they are gone your kids will see the pictures and know how much their grandparents loved them
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Let her…she has her own special relationship with her grand daughter …my kids are adults and still talk about how their grandma was always taking pictures. Now its funny and something they will remember her by.
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Tbh I’D LOVE IT IF MY MOM SHOWED OFF HER GRANDBABIES!!! MY KIDS DON’T HAVE ANYONE ON EITHER SIDE ALL THEY HAVE IS ME AND MY HUSBAND AND THAT’S OK! IF EVERYONE WAS STILL ALIVE OR UNSELFISH, WE’D HAVE EVERY ONE. 
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I would maybe say not to share them… Because the net isnt safe. But my mom died when i was 2 i have hardly any photos and have only ever heard her voice once on a very old home movie my grandpa took. Plus when you and your daughter are older… You’ll love those memories
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I would suggest talking to your child and asking if the pictures and videos bother her. If they do, the Grandma needs to understand it and limit it to what your daughter is comfortable with. If your daughter doesn’t mind or seem to care, maybe you should think about telling Grandma you’re feeling nervous about picture sharing with others and ask who she shares them with. You are the parent, don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for protecting your child.
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You are so lucky and blessed to have a grandparent in your child’s life. The pictures she takes are a reflection of how much love she has. Don’t worry about how she’s sending them to Happy Grandparents like to brag!!! Let her show off your child with pride.
If your daughter is that shy maybe ask your daughter to play the cameraman for a while. Or create her own videos.
Please don’t get upset over how many pictures of videos she is taking. My children have two grandmothers. They see one every day and if they see the other once a year it’s a lot. I don’t think there are any photos of them with their other grandmother and I don’t think she has ever taken a photo or video of them.
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When my kids were young my sister and my dad were big picture takers and I wasn’t really and still aren’t. My middle child passed away 3 years ago and I thank God they had lots of pictures of him through the years.
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Honestly I’d let her. My sons grandma doesn’t get to see him daily or even weekly so I record a lot and take so many pics for her. She shares them with her other family members and shows him off to her co workers. I feel he’s blessed to have someone love him so much. I always thought I was over board with what I send her but she loves it. He’s the only grandson.
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Maybe ask to meet the people she is excited to share the pictures with. A lot of older people oooo and ahhh over each others grand babies it’s there high light . Some don’t have family to do that with so it makes there day. Also maybe offer to take pictures of the 2 together so she has thoes memories together. Tomorrow is never promised. I wish I had more pictures of me and my grandparents and more of me and my dad
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My Mom annoyed the hell out of me with her constant picture taking of my kids. Now, they are all grown up, and I am glad I have those pictures.
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I think everyone’s addressed the permission on taking photos & sharing. I share your concern in that your daughter is missing out on connecting with her grandma and sharing time with her… it would be nice that instead of being a filmmaker, grandma was sharing the acting and making moments to remember. Many folk need to put the camera down and just enjoy the moments rather than record them. 
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As my kids are getting older, I really appreciate all the pictures and videos my mother in law has taken. Time goes by so fast, let grandma enjoy. I think she realizes hora fast time goes and they are little only for a short while.
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If its alienating and making the time spent with her grandchildren awkward, then i would tell her, you would love to take and send her a couple photos when she comes to visit, that way they are photos you feel comfortable with and reduces amount of time spent with a phone in your daughter’s face. With how things are today I understand the concerns with strangers. This will also free her up to actually do things with her grandchildren that she can cherish later on.
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My question is “How does the child feel about it?” My kids don’t like excessive picture taking and I have taught them to express their own boundaries and expect them to be respected. Maybe come up with an agreement that respects the boundaries of the individual child and the grandparent? For example, “Grandma agrees to only take a few pictures at the beginning and end of her visit. Is that ok?” And if the grandmother who is an adult can’t respect that then I wouldn’t allow any.
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I don’t think you’re being controlling. First of all, if she’s behind a camera, she’s not really interacting with her granddaughter. The other thing is her posting pictures without your knowledge or consent. In today’s climate, that is a real NO-NO. You don’t want pictures of your children out on the internet in unknown sites. People seem to forget that once it’s out there, you can never control what is done with the picture. Absolutely not.
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Yes you’re being way too controlling you are very blessed that your child has a grandmother there are a lot of kids who don’t have that luxury and you are blessed that she wants to be engaged and making have memories of her grandbaby and share that and as far as I remember that’s a typical thing most grandparents to all look at my grandbaby so look at my grandbaby and you’re denying her that that’s just being really selfish
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Maybe she does this as she knows time goes so quickly and could even worry about getting dementia etc so wants as many memories as possible
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You should be grateful she wants to remember everything… as long as the pictures aren’t inappropriate I don’t see the big deal… just ask her not to share them
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