Is it wrong for me to ask my childs grandma to stop taking so many pictures/videos?

Just have a nice chat with her to explain how you feel…shes obviously very proud of her granddaughter and wants to show her off, but if you feel uncomfortable with it see if you can both compromise x

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I don’t think it’s a problem for her to take the photos. But she certainly should respect your wishes with sharing the photos. And if she can’t respect that then you can have an issue with her taking the photos.
We made it clear with our kids paternal family that they weren’t to share photos or put them on social media as we had safeguarding issues. But they didn’t respect them so now we don’t send them photos.

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I wouldn’t care how many pictures my kids Nana takes of them. I prefer she doesn’t share them without letting me know but she is pretty respectful in that aspect.

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At first I thought your question was very odd. But the back story makes more sense, correct me if I’m wrong but it sound like its not really the pics/videos themselves you are worried about, its more the quality of time. Maybe you could compromise and ask the she focus more on quality time and you can on the sly(where your daughter isn’t aware, so she’s not so shy) takes pics and videos of them together?

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I love when my mother takes pics and videos of my daughter and sends them to me. But I also know who she shares them with. Maybe just ask her about the people she sends them to

The taking pictures part wouldn’t bother me. The sending them to God only knows who would work my nerves. There are sick people in the world and I would NOT want my son’s pictures and videos being sent to anyone that I wasn’t at least familiar with. It’s your kid and you have the say so.

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I wouldn’t be upset about her taking pictures. I do completely agree that she is missing out on time with her. I also would be upset with her sharing pictures and videos with people I didn’t know.

I would feel the same way if it was my mom, mother in law, or any other family member.

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She’s just a proud grandmother who wants to have pictures i don’t see anything wrong with it. As for her showing people im sure shes not going to share pics with anyone these people are probably her good friends. She’s just a proud grandmother who loves and adores her grandchild. Especially if she doesn’t see her everyday. She is making memories.

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Grandparents are intricate in the upbringing of grandchildren, at least most of us are. Pick your battles. This should not be one of them.

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I dont allow anyone but my husband to take photos of my kids anymore since no matter how many times i asked for them not to be posted on public facebooks or sent to strangers they still were now if a camera comes out we simply leave

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Not totally wrong .To many bad people might get hold of them !! Child molesters and such just saying…

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I wouldn’t mind them taking pictures or videos. I would mind that she was sending them to people i don’t know. We had strict rules in place about that and about people posting pics without our consent. I created a private album on Facebook and said anyone can upload there as i have picked who can see that album but no ine can upload anywhere else without checking with us first

How old is your daughter? I would talk to her about it and get her feelings. See if she can’t tell grandma herself that it makes her uncomfortable. She’s more likely to stop then

Not at all. It’s your child. People need your permission if they want photos

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You wouldn’t have your daughter if it weren’t for grand

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You should be happy she love her grandchilddd

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I am a grandma of a 10 month old little boy. I am guilty of taking tons of pictures of my grandson. I dont share them with others. I am doing a scrapbook of his 1st year so I have pictures of all his 1st’s, all holiday pics and pictures of his monthly birth dates.

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Yeah that’s a hard question. I am a grandmother and have 2 wonderful grandchildren. I took tons of pics of the first grandchild but have cut back a little. Grandchildren are just such a blessing and I want to show them off to friends and family. :blush:

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What is wrong with it? Some day you may be thankful for her capturing memories.

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Sharing them is a problem, taking them is not.

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Eventually it will slow down haha

What’s with the strange posts hahaha

Not controlling at all. I hated my pic taken when I was little. It always made me self conscious. To this day I will not allow people to take my pic.

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Youre not wrong.
I hated when my parents took photos or videos of my son. Especially in the tub or running around the house naked and would post them online and send them to strangers or go behind my back and send then to his father.
His father who hes never met and is now in prison for raping an 8 year old girl.
It makes me furious to think about it.
My sister and i were both sexuall assaulted as children and ny parents still dont see the mistakes theyve made that would have prevented it and now they repeat those mistakes with my son and put him at risk for pedophiles.
You have every right to tell her not to take photos.
Honestly if it were me i would tell her either stop or shell never see him again

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You’re not controlling, and shouldn’t ever think that you are being when it comes to decisions regarding your children.
I understand where you’re both coming from - but I would say that sharing the pictures is the biggest problem. Yes she wants to remember everything so taking lots of pictures, but she also needs to live in the moment and witness them properly, not through a phone screen🙄
Sharing them is a big no though. I’m currently pregnant with my first, and have made it very clear to everyone that there is to be no pictures posted or shared anywhere. Anyone important enough to want photos of my son will be able to take them themselves, I don’t want any being posted or shared elsewhere by others especially as I won’t be broadcasting him to the whole world.

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My grandparents do this and share the photos with family members in Germany or far away. I have no problems with it, they are proud and want the family to see pictures. Of there Grand kids and great grand children. My grandparents don’t use social media, they send pictures via mail. My parents share photos they take I don’t see the problem with them doing that either as some family they only see on Facebook and they are proud, I find they seem to take more when it’s the first grand baby, then it seems to die down. But that’s just me. One day you’ll be a grandparent and you will want to do the same. Also sometimes my parents and grandparents have taken a better memory then I caught and now I have it as well.

Loosen up.
A Grandchild is a surprisingly affirming gift to come along.
We see our family genes renewed. And we’d forgotten about that.
We see our son/daughter showering the same love and devotion we showered them with. And we’d forgotten that.
We marvel at the tiny changes from day to day. We’d forgotten that.
Put the baby in her arms! She’s forgotten that sensation too.
And you can’t hold both a camera and a baby.
And every one will be rewarded.

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I would tell her. No effin kindness. Not to be sending to people me and my kids do not know. If she cannot respect that wish then no phone or any type of camera allowed for her in this house.
Dont take no type of guilt trip. She needs to respect your wishes as you are the mother. Not her.

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Your kid. Your rules. I don’t think you’re being controlling; you’re just being protective

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I’d be okay with her taking all the pictures she wanted, but it would be a HELL NO to sending or posting them without my permission. The digital world can be a very dark place.

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i don’t think you’re being controlling at all! but i think you should mention to her that you feel she’s missing out on connecting w your daughter. also tell her she can still take pictures and videos but just not so often & maybe you could send her things instead! also you should let her know that you’d prefer if she’d tell you who she was sending the pictures to & if you are ok w it.

There are many dangers of sharing children’s photos online, just google “Dangers of sharing children’s photos online” you will find many articles like this one. Not to mention the predators out there who can find the location of children by the data that is attached to the photos, especially ones taken with phones. It is totally a safety issue.

5 Reasons You Should Avoid Posting About Your Child on Social Media - Jellies.

my ex sister in law and ex mother in law took gazillions of pics of my kids. honestly it never bothered me and now the 2 eldest are 23 and 20 and she has some pictures that i don’t even remember those times lol! im thankful she did that. im a gramma of 2 now, my grandson was just born a couple of weeks ago, but i still ask their mom when and if its ok for me to posts n share pics of them. she always sends me pics and videos of them but she likes to wait til they’re older and i respect that even if i’m dying to show him off!!

No, she needs to back off. As you have said, she isn’t connecting with your daughter. If she wants a picture offer to take a picture with the both of them, then she can put the thing away

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oh get over yourself

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My daughter told me I needed to ask permission before taking photos when she was very young, 5 or 6. We need to show children the same respect we show adults when it comes to personal integrity.

I would let most of it go. Im of the belief system that pictures aren’t for today, they’re for tomorrow. If anything, make sure she’s in more of the pictures with her grand daughter. You will never be able to get this time back.

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As a mother and grandmother, I respect my kids boundaries with their kids. If they ask me not to share certain moments I don’t. I had my opportunity to parent it is now their turn and I respect them as parents. Mom just talk to grandma and explain your concerns.

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I love that my mom is proud of and loves her grandkids. It doesn’t bother me one bit that she shows them off. My sisters kids paternal grandma passed away recently and they were very close with her and very happy they have all the pictures and videos to look back on.

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Grandparents or not thats very weird and can cause your child to become extremely camera shy or have your child feel nothing toward grandma but annoyed. Talk to her about putting the camera away so she can connect with her grandchild theres difference betweening showing off to brag about having them or showing off because you love them

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I think this is petty, it’s what a lot of grandparents do! Be happy you’re daughter has grandparents! I’m 48yrs and I just lost my grandpa at 95yrs old. I can’t believe all the photos he saved of me when I was little, I’m blessed and so are you.

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I agree with her taking as many pics& videos she wants to. Yes she may walk into a light post but I think it’s great bonding and can be fun. (I once had that but no more so remember that could happen too. Let her and your daughter have fun). But I do not agree with sending to strangers without the parents permission. Just remember she’s obviously having a great time with her granddaughter please don’t take that away from them or let your daughter see you angry about it. But do talk to her in private you don’t like her sharing without your permission.

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As a grandma I don’t share with out permission. If it wasn’t for my daughter-in-love, I would have never seen the babies walk. They were hours away, and she made sure I got lots of pics and clips as well.

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Who cares, be grateful. My mom used to always take pictures, I didn’t care. She had a stroke and she has all her memories that I will never have because they are all on her electrics.

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I wish my parents were alive so they could see my daughter
When they are gone your kids will see the pictures and know how much their grandparents loved them

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Let her…she has her own special relationship with her grand daughter …my kids are adults and still talk about how their grandma was always taking pictures. Now its funny and something they will remember her by.

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Tbh I’D LOVE IT IF MY MOM SHOWED OFF HER GRANDBABIES!!! MY KIDS DON’T HAVE ANYONE ON EITHER SIDE ALL THEY HAVE IS ME AND MY HUSBAND AND THAT’S OK! IF EVERYONE WAS STILL ALIVE OR UNSELFISH, WE’D HAVE EVERY ONE. :pleading_face:

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I would maybe say not to share them… Because the net isnt safe. But my mom died when i was 2 i have hardly any photos and have only ever heard her voice once on a very old home movie my grandpa took. Plus when you and your daughter are older… You’ll love those memories

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I would suggest talking to your child and asking if the pictures and videos bother her. If they do, the Grandma needs to understand it and limit it to what your daughter is comfortable with. If your daughter doesn’t mind or seem to care, maybe you should think about telling Grandma you’re feeling nervous about picture sharing with others and ask who she shares them with. You are the parent, don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for protecting your child.

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You are so lucky and blessed to have a grandparent in your child’s life. The pictures she takes are a reflection of how much love she has. Don’t worry about how she’s sending them to Happy Grandparents like to brag!!! Let her show off your child with pride.
If your daughter is that shy maybe ask your daughter to play the cameraman for a while. Or create her own videos.
Please don’t get upset over how many pictures of videos she is taking. My children have two grandmothers. They see one every day and if they see the other once a year it’s a lot. I don’t think there are any photos of them with their other grandmother and I don’t think she has ever taken a photo or video of them.

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When my kids were young my sister and my dad were big picture takers and I wasn’t really and still aren’t. My middle child passed away 3 years ago and I thank God they had lots of pictures of him through the years.

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Honestly I’d let her. My sons grandma doesn’t get to see him daily or even weekly so I record a lot and take so many pics for her. She shares them with her other family members and shows him off to her co workers. I feel he’s blessed to have someone love him so much. I always thought I was over board with what I send her but she loves it. He’s the only grandson.

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Maybe ask to meet the people she is excited to share the pictures with. A lot of older people oooo and ahhh over each others grand babies it’s there high light . Some don’t have family to do that with so it makes there day. Also maybe offer to take pictures of the 2 together so she has thoes memories together. Tomorrow is never promised. I wish I had more pictures of me and my grandparents and more of me and my dad

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My Mom annoyed the hell out of me with her constant picture taking of my kids. Now, they are all grown up, and I am glad I have those pictures.

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I think everyone’s addressed the permission on taking photos & sharing. I share your concern in that your daughter is missing out on connecting with her grandma and sharing time with her… it would be nice that instead of being a filmmaker, grandma was sharing the acting and making moments to remember. Many folk need to put the camera down and just enjoy the moments rather than record them. :relieved:

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As my kids are getting older, I really appreciate all the pictures and videos my mother in law has taken. Time goes by so fast, let grandma enjoy. I think she realizes hora fast time goes and they are little only for a short while.

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If its alienating and making the time spent with her grandchildren awkward, then i would tell her, you would love to take and send her a couple photos when she comes to visit, that way they are photos you feel comfortable with and reduces amount of time spent with a phone in your daughter’s face. With how things are today I understand the concerns with strangers. This will also free her up to actually do things with her grandchildren that she can cherish later on.

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My question is “How does the child feel about it?” My kids don’t like excessive picture taking and I have taught them to express their own boundaries and expect them to be respected. Maybe come up with an agreement that respects the boundaries of the individual child and the grandparent? For example, “Grandma agrees to only take a few pictures at the beginning and end of her visit. Is that ok?” And if the grandmother who is an adult can’t respect that then I wouldn’t allow any.

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I don’t think you’re being controlling. First of all, if she’s behind a camera, she’s not really interacting with her granddaughter. The other thing is her posting pictures without your knowledge or consent. In today’s climate, that is a real NO-NO. You don’t want pictures of your children out on the internet in unknown sites. People seem to forget that once it’s out there, you can never control what is done with the picture. Absolutely not.

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Yes you’re being way too controlling you are very blessed that your child has a grandmother there are a lot of kids who don’t have that luxury and you are blessed that she wants to be engaged and making have memories of her grandbaby and share that and as far as I remember that’s a typical thing most grandparents to all look at my grandbaby so look at my grandbaby and you’re denying her that that’s just being really selfish

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Maybe she does this as she knows time goes so quickly and could even worry about getting dementia etc so wants as many memories as possible

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You should be grateful she wants to remember everything… as long as the pictures aren’t inappropriate I don’t see the big deal… just ask her not to share them

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Please leave her be… being a grandma is something truly special

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I don’t think it’s okay for anyone to share pictures of a child without the parents’ permission. That being said, if the complaint about the pictures is you’re worried someone else missing out, it’s not a problem. Pick and choose the battles.

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I wouldn’t complain about a grandparent actually wanting to share their joy like that. Your child is blessed

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At least she is apart of there life some children don’t have grandparents to spoil them

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Some day you will be glad she took those. And don’t you trust her judgment I can’t imagine her share picture’s of her pride and joy with someone shady or dangerous.

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With all the pedophiles around I would curb her video/pictures too! She could post them innocently but they have ways of taking your pictures! Unless she’s NOT sharing them on social media I’d explain this to her. If she’s NOT sharing them with anyone but Grandpa/family then just relax and let her save the memories.

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I wouldn’t ask her to stop taking them, I would unapologetically be telling, not asking her, to not share them with people I don’t know.

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Honestly You sound very controlling. You should be glad she adores your babies and is proud of them.

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It’s all we (grandmas)have when we can’t get out to see our grandkids due to illnesses or other situations-it gives me the greatest pleasure to have pics/memories for what time we have left​:relieved::purple_heart::blue_heart::green_heart::yellow_heart::sparkling_heart:

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Too controlling, it’s her grandma and she adores her. She is lucky to have a grandma to fuss over her.

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I wish my grandparents, and even my parents, took more pictures of my brothers and i growing up. I know its a lot easier with today’s technology to have access to a camera more often, but I have hardly any pictures of myself growing up. I barely have any pictures of me and parents together, or me and my brothers together.
If its making your daughter uncomfortable, then maybe I’d ask that she wait to take pictures. Like hanging out for 20 minutes and then she can take some pictures. But I wouldnt take that privilege away from a proud grandma!
Be thankful your child has grandparents that are involved and want to take pictures of them.

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I do not take alot of pictures of my grandkids. But if my kids tell me not to share pictures I do take then I don’t. I don’t want to waste all of our time taking pictures. Just set some limits and only so many when she comes.

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my dad passed away 2 days ago. i have many pictures of him but still wished i had more of him and my kids. don’t waste time on the small stuff, it will all be gone in the blink of an eye

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I would love that…I wish I would have gotten more pictures when my children were younger…I have alot but I want more…They are grown now :sob:

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No those are precious memories and she is a proud Grandma. I would ask her to send them to me as well.

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My mom never took pics of my girls, I asked her if she wanted a school pic, she said “for what”. So, personally, I wish I had your problem

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As a grandmother I take pictures of my grandsons but I NEVER share them not even on Facebook or anywhere unless my daughter is ok with it. They are my memories to have not to be shared with others.

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I agree with some of these other ladies. Let her have her pictures. Take pictures of them together. Take selfies with them. Have them framed. One day those pictures are all your little girl will have of her grandmother. As for her sharing the pictures with people you don’t know, I can see why that makes you uncomfortable. Set boundaries that she can only send them to family members.

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You should suggest at each visit taking a picture with her phone of the two of them together doing an activity, like reading a book or drawing. That way your daughter will have photos of her grandmother when she’s older. Instead of it just being photos of the child.

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You are not controlling at all…however I am the same way. I am 65 and I just want to have everything so I can look at it when I am not with them. As for her sharing with others…check with your husband and see if he is ok with it…he may know the people and is ok with it…and that might ease your mind.

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I’ve said that I didn’t want any pictures taken without permission. It’s your child, so I don’t think you’re being controlling.:woman_shrugging:t5: my bf has family i haven’t met, so thats partly my reasoning.

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I could never tell my mom to stop taking pictures of her grandkids :grimacing:

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When my sisters and I started having kids my mom looks at them like little extensions of us when we were babies and vise versa for my mother in law. I would never disrespect either grandparent after all if it wasn’t for her neither you or your husband (depending on grandparent) would have the family your creating. Honestly - Let them enjoy what they are reminiscing on. You or your husband childhood. Let them be! Your very fortunate they’re with you !

You pick her taking too many pictures of your child to have an issue with and there are children who will never know their dad let alone grandmother. My Nana and my mother can do what she wants with my kids because they are NANA and MA-MA. Neither one of my daughters know their fathers mothers. One due to death the other because her dad and his mother are pieces of :poop:. Be grateful hunny. Your baby is blessed

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Your kid, your rules. Talk to her Dad. Set boundaries.
I would not like it either

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I think it’s a tad drastic. She adores her granddaughter. Ask her not to share the videos/photos, but keep in mind grandparents have a special place and bond in your child’s life. I wish my parents were here and my ex’s mom was here. They raised us grandchildren are the fruits of their labor!

You are being petty. Mentioning it is the paternal grandmother makes you even more petty.

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No. It is a grandma thing and if this is the first or even the only grandchild, that makes it just a little more exciting. It will slow down.

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Mom writes thr rules for her children. Grandma had her time in the sun. As a grandmother, and great grandmother I obey the wishes of mom. If I do not like moms rules, I talk to her away from the children. Let mom see the rules and grandparents obey them.

If she taking photos for herself,I’d say it’s okay as long as she doesn’t share with others that you don’t know of and without your permission- it’s your kids ,not hers .

Other thing ,if your child doesn’t like to be pictured /feeling uncomfortable when they are pictured ,than they shouldn’t be - simple as that !

So many would be over the moon to have a MIL who is even involved in their children’s lives.
Teach your daughter that having them is a treasure and sharing your lives with them means the world to them

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As nana I respect my grandsons wishes. I also take a lot of pictures and videos however when they ask me to stop I respect their request. I understand taking pictures sometimes interferes with fun and interaction with them. So pictures are fun and create memories but remember your time and interaction are valuable also. Find a healthy balance

You and your daughter will be glad you have those some day especially if she’s in them too. I have almost nothing of either of my grandfathers

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Let her know not to be sharing it its not safe and she needs to respect that and if she cant then she needs to put the camera away. Its your child put your foot down.

I think you’re too controlling. Gosh, she’s a super proud grandma and is super in love with your baby!!!

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You have to remember Grandparents love their grandkids so much and will.protect them they not gonna share with total strangers and most only know how to take the photos not tech savvy like you

A Grandmothers love is just that I do the same because we dont get to see them as much as we would so when we do we want to capture it. Give her a pass. Some grandkids dont have that kind of love.

I lost my son 2/2/20 I’d give anything for one more video or picture. Count your blessings. They can be gone in a blink of an eye.

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