Divorce him and get a real man!!!
Sound like you need a divorce
Omg, seriously DITCH HIS ASS ASAP!!!
Kick him to the curb
Get rid of that selfish asshole!
Please respect yourself and leave.
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Umm no he is being very selfish!!!
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Oh my goodnessā¦ I know these questions are anonymous and for help, opinions, and support, but I feel sometimes they already know the answer to the questions itās just hard to face sometimes. I feel for you, I would not be with a man who didnāt want to come home. Nope, no way, never. If there is no compromise on both parts, you should not have to do all the settling. Never settle for less, always try to improve yourself and your life one day at a time. I wish you nothing but strength, wisdom, and peace 
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Text him telling him youāre done, change the locks, and file for divorce. He doesnāt want to be home anyway. Iām really sorry but you snd the kids deserve better.
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Most likely not feeling in control not working and sounds as if he is being unreasonable about the amount of time he is spending with others. Your Gut isnāt lying and I believe You are asking a question that You have the Answer for Sweets. You Deserve better and only You can make the decision of how that is supposed to Feel and the journey to itā¦Peace Love and Abundance.
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He clearly doesnāt care about being with you. Get a job, have him watch the kids and as soon as you can, leave for a better life.
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You shouldnāt have to ask him to spend time with his family. 
he has no respect for you or any self respect.
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I went through the same exact situation, in my previous marriage! There is a better, more fulfilling life out there for you, when you are brave enough to take the next step.
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Um, if he isnāt working then he needs to be home helping with the house and kids, period. No if ands or butts. Thatās the priorities.
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You are asking us if itās okay for your husband not to parent or partner. You know that right? I think you can answer that question.
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My guess is heās already with someone else a d thats whose really getting his time. Just sayin. I was with my ex husband for 16 years. Together since we were 19. He refused to work for the last 10 years of our marriage. It turned into an abusive situation. Took 3 times of trying to actually escape safely with our kids. Hes been to prison and jail ever since our divorce. Btw I found out he had a complete double life. Had a girlfriend he was taking out and driving around in my car on my dime while I worked 2 jobs and he stole and did drugs. I didnāt deserve any of that. Thankfully my boyfriend is the polar opposite. You need to break free! For you and the kids. Dont mess around wasting any more time on a man that obviously doesnāt want to be around u. Been there done that
How is this working for you? Marriage is a two way relationship with both sides working together to support each other and their children. I am sorry you are being treated this wayā¦you deserve better and so do your children. If he is unemployed there is an expectation that he is looking and applying for employment, sadly this may not be the case. Only you can decide what you are willing to put up with, and things often get worseā¦ Take care and look after youā¦<3.
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Well are you controlling and belittling of him? 
Is he just a bum who needs a kick in the pants? Thereās two sides to every story. Maybe yāall would benefit from some therapy instead of other women running their mouths on Facebook about your husband. Because this is not going to help your situation.
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Looks to me you need a man of the house, not a boy on the streets. He is 1 cheating on you or 2 on drugs or both. Do you work? I would be leaving him. No questions or begging someone that doesnāt want to be home. Stop wasting your time and being foolish. Good luckā¦
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Someone like that wonāt change, because a women canāt change a man who doesnāt want to change or sees no error of his own! I was married to the same kin me of man your talking about, we were fine for a while but the last four years of our marriage thats exactly what I got out of him! I however(3kids and all) left him! You deserve better and trust me better is out there! I thought It was completely impossible for someone to love me after going through all i went through and with kidsā¦ but after 3 years of alone time I found a wonderful man who makes me so thankful I put myself first!
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Itās your life and do what ever you feel, but keep this in mind. Is this the kind of example you want to set for your children? For them to model this behavior when they are older or to have a spouse treat them the same and they think itās normal. I promise you, there is better out there. You got this momma
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Why would you even want to be with him at this point? He uses your home like a cheap motel. Honestly, he should go live with whoever heās actually spending time with
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Iām so sorry. He doesnāt want to be there. I would suggest counseling, but it sounds like even that would be an inconvenience for him. Heās not interested in the family. Iām so sorry to say it. I think itās time for you to give him the freedom he wants and move on without him.
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So sorry you donāt him sounds like he is having affair divorce him or talk to him
The kids needs there dad and to spend time with him why ignore your call concentrate on you and your children you could pack his stuff change locks
Mane go to doctors have chat to them
Write every down on paper keep and your phone and your keep it in your handbag always have copies just incase good luck hun x you will find someone you deseve
No job and doesnāt want to come home??? He should be gone permanently!!!
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Why do you want him home by 9 when he so obviously doesnāt want to be home at all?
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He is a narcissist. And what he is doing is abuse. You need to stop letting this happen.
Huh? I donāt mean to sound rude but how do you afford living with a 5 person family and no income?
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His actions are telling you he rather be somewhere else than home with you and the children or that he isnāt even concerned about any of you when he is gone by ignoring contact.
Is that what you what to deal with for the rest of you life and kids??
Ps. Heās not concerned about COVID and being out and about before coming home?
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Doesnt sound like heās worth the fight. You need to file a divorce, move on and find someone who wants to be home with you every single day
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If heās unemployed then where is he all day and what/whom is he doing??? You donāt need that in your life!
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I know when I went through this with my ex he was sleeping around.
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Oh dear this is a very tough situation to be in. Let you guys divide things to do, and alone time for you and for him. And give him the benefit of choosing when to do the things. Donāt try to step in when he failed. And stop nagging/ telling him to do things and just enjoy your life for a while. But if this doesnāt work after some trial time then you need help.
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Heās probably about losing it being unemployed for how long thru all this? Being home is foreign and so is probably how to deal w the kids, if thatās always been ur place in everything. Frustrating tho it sounds, have u tried to understand from his angle? Will he talk at all when he does finally come in ?
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Counseling. Go to counseling. Neither FB nor its members are counselors. Iād love to give you advice, but it would be opinion based on my past and my choices, which may not be applicable to you and will sound judgemental. What I love about counseling is that you get advice from professionals trained, licensed and certified to do so. Best of luck to you and remember this: you are and have always been enough. Sending you lots of virtual love and support.
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I feel there is more to this 
they probably are both toxic to each otherā¦
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1 whos providing for those kids? 2 he has a mother and its not you. 3 get a divorce.
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Itās better to be on your own than in the wrong company
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Your asking for decency and respect from someone who doesnāt care. You wonāt get anywhere babe. Start to let go of expecting anything from someone like that. Sorry to tell you I did that for years. Doesnāt matter what you say.
I ran into this problem when I had my second daughter, would say I would control him by asking him to Live as if the kids are also his responsibility. Ive found it had a lot to do with how he was raised cause his parents barley parented him since he was āthe babyā and when his dad passed he was out nightly at the bar. He tried to manipulate me to believe that its normal and Iām unreasonable. It took me putting my foot down and finally being able to say āI can pack up and leave. You can find someone who will be okay with the lifestyle you want and I can find someone whoās willing to want the same lifestyle as me. A family.ā. I made it clear I was done being treated as a doormat.
Leave him! Probably out doing other things and not where he says he isā¦
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The reality of it is, no one can tell u what is or isnāt enough to put up with. You need to do that for yourself, if you donāt want to deal with a partner that does not wish to be apart of a family unit then donāt. Send him on his merry little way, if you want to find out why he prefers to spend his time else where, then ask. It should not be up to one person in the relationship to set the rules, it should be both of you working together to make a good family environment. But as I said before, only you can decide how to proceed and what you are willing to put up with from a partner
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Baby let him leave find your own security in you let him go hes not helping you in no shape form or action drop his stuff of to the house he want to be at all day take your key and be happy
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Please look at your situation. Would you treat someone that way? What are your kids learning a relationship is? Is it a relationship you would want your child to be in? Why would you accept less for yourself? Are you not as valuable?
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No! Some people settle! Put your foot downā¦ yāall supposed to be a power couple! Is okay not to accept their behavior, youāre the one dealing with it! Everyone has an opinion but the reality is that youāre not alright with it! So what are you going to do about the situation is up to you! Handle your business!!
No job and canāt stay home to help with kids? He would be gone for good.
This is what happens when you marry a boy and not a man. Some of these post made I just look at like are these really adults walking around acting like this ! I try not to be mean but I canāt
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My ex was the same way when I was married to him. Guess what my solution was.
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Wow! This sounds familiar. I have been happily divorced for almost 10 years now.
You do youā¦ and see how he feels. But always put you and your kids first.
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Umm he is a grown man not a child you canāt give him a curfew. You said he was unemployed would it be different if he was employed?
Umm leave him ! You shouldnāt ask anyone to spend time with your or your kids if they really love you. If they really loved you they would do it without being asked ! Thereās alot of better men out here who will love you and your children and will put you first
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I know some will say dont fight fire with fire but i would show him how it feels to basically be married and still be alone.
Do the same back to him. Not staying out all night obviously because you have children.
im saying simply dont txt him at all and if he text you wait like an hour or more to respond and say what did u need be short and to the point,dont ask him where he is etcā¦ act like you dont care kinda thing some men crave that women that chases them.
its like a game maybe,i dont know. 
but
If he cares he will start to question why your not asking him to spend time with you or why your not doing these things anymore.
Sometimes people also just feel like they need space maybe he isnāt doing anything like cheating like some are saying maybe he is having his own issues and feels like he will bring you down or whatever āātrying to run from problems heās having on his own so to speak. I wouldnāt get angry and leave him just yet,like some are saying on here. Marriage takes work in these days everyone is so easy to walk away and not try to fix things and thats why the divorce rate is so high. If things dont change maybe go on a trip one weekend or something just you and your kids or even take some time for you and get a sitter.
Counseling two sides to every story. You have three kids with him. You should have known before this, especially after the first or second kid. You married him now deal with it and quit complaining.
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I will try turning the tables on him and you leave the house and be gone all day and see how he likes it see what happens and make sure you leave the kids with him
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Sounds like you are being used. And have another child and not a partner. Ditch that extra weight, you will be happyā¦ taking from experience
Divorce!! He doesnāt want u or the kids!! Some boys just never grow up!! Sounds like u have one!!
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The main issue needs uncovered. Why is he gone so much? Communication instead of demands.
All im going to say is, itās NOT right if heās doing all of those things you say. Not right at all!
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But who works to support 3 kids?
Maybe ask himā¦ not to come back !!
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Unfortunately, and I hope Iām wrong, but my instinct is telling me heās running around on you. Honestly, you donāt need to put up with it. He isnāt going to change and now itās time for you to turn the tables and flip the script on him. Donāt call, text, absolutely NOTHING for a full week. Treat him like he does you, donāt even acknowledge that heās around, treat him like an option like he does your family. If he doesnāt get the picture, I think the next step is to file for divorce, pack his stuff, put it outside and kick him out. He doesnāt want to be there anyways so just do him the favor. Take over the house and take your life back! Your children need a strong woman and mother in their lives, and he obviously needs a harsh reality check. If he canāt/wonāt contribute to provide for his family, trust me, youāre better off leaving him. Iāve been in that situation with my ex. Eventually youāll start to hate him and each other and then thereās no repairing the relationship/marriage
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Walk away sweetie. Heās done. You deserve better. Sorry youāre going through this. Best of luck.
Throw him to the curb !
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Oh boy he would be gone if it was me
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Heās probably seeing someone else
A man not working and providing may feel insecure. Before you nix your marriage maybe try going out during the day to a lunch date and talk to him about how you feel. Tell him he doesnāt have to be home at a certain time but youād like to know where he is and what heās up to just in case you need him. Same thing about answering texts or calls. Make sure your not harassing him though 10 text in 10 min lol tell him youād like him home at a decent time because your a family and you look forward to spending time with him and talking about the day and next day activities. If none of this works then heās made his choice to not really want a family I suppose but Iād talk first and see what he has to say.
Whatever you do donāt give him an ultimatum , men hate that. Heck we all do. Maybe also schedule a girls evening once a week or month? Me and a girlfriend or sometimes 2 go to Mexican once a month or when we can. We have dinner and a margarita and just chat. Have him be with the kids and the house that night. I go later when itās near time for the kids to be in bed since our restaurants are open later. Take care of you! You need you time.
Some of us not working right now and spending more time at home honestly just donāt know what to do? They feel like a burden. Is he spending time with someone else whom is unemployed? Maybe that person gets it?
Best of luck to you and I sure hope you guys can talk and respect each otherās opinions on this. Family time is important but so is security. Insecurities get the best of all of us sometimes.
Girl! You taking care of a child. Go sit down somewhere and stop stressing yourself.
Show him the door hun.
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If he doesnāt want to be home with you and the kids then let him go see if the grass is greener on the other side.
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This is wrongā¦ let him do hes own thingā¦ just enjoy ur life with someone else
Throw the whole man away.
Wtf - tell him to get a job. And if not a job , to go see a concillor obviously going through something.
So who is working? You said youāre at home all day and heās gone all day not working. Either way, heās cheating sis. Time to move along
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I wouldnāt put up with it
What does your gut tell you ?
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Youāre not controlling. If he was a responsible person heād be home with you & your kids well before 9pm. Leave him! Heās using you.
Um NOOOO!!! Itās called respect!!!
He aināt a man! Heās still a boy! You need to think about your kids and how they are feeling, you are better off without him, he clearly doesnāt think about you or the children, he says your controlling! He needs to man up and start looking after his family instead of thinking heās free and single with no responsibilities
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Sis your husband is for the streets this time to do what Elsa said and let it go
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Youāre a wife, not the warden.
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Sounds like another man child. I have been surrounded by them my entire life. This makes me mad on your behalf.
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Yes it is wrong to tell your husband that because what you should be doing is let him have the life he wants because thatās all a bunch of bs. No use in both of you being unhappy
Throw the whole man out 
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Is the kids his cause if you have three bad ass kids running around in they aināt mines I wouldnāt want to be home either itās three parts to a story tell him to put his side up 
Has he always been like this?Is he abusing any substances? And do you know who he is hanging out with? I went through this with my husband but he wasnāt always like that. His behavior changed when he started mixing antidepressants with alcohol & became ābest friendsā with my douchebag brother; of whom convinced my husband that the grass is greener on the other side, I was controlling and mean for expecting him to fulfill basic fatherly duties and act like my husband/partner. With those factor and a lack of maturity on my husbands partā¦ It got so out of hand we couldnāt pay our bills for months, he started neglecting his job and our family, we constantly fought and when I banned him from spending anymore money on substances and banned those substances from our houseā¦ he started staying out all hours of the day and night instead. I had to set the ultimatum by telling him to get clean, come home and be a father/partner or divorce. It was a long ass process but he did come around and is back to his old selfā¦ hopefully with much more wisdom and common sense tho. Anyways point being I get where everyone else is coming from but sometimes, *and this doesnāt excuses his behaviorā¦ there are similar variables at play poorly mixed with immaturity, that can be accounted for and even corrected. He may very well have to hit rock bottom before he gets his shit together tho. Whatever you do donāt enable him by putting up with it tho, you need to put your foot down because what heās doing is not coolā¦ itās not healthy let alone fare to you and the kids. Youāll likely have to kick him out until he realizes how serious you are, the matter of the situation is, he decides to clean up up his act AND stick with it. He has to realize what he has, is about to lose and want to do better for you and the kids. And if he doesnāt then cut that turd loose.
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Wait until employment run out in kick his ass out cause he dnt want to be there. U answered your owe questions but he is grown u have to make the decision is he worth it in do u want to deal with his bs only u knw
Bye bye heās up to no good
Firstly itās lockdown he shouldnāt be going to someone elseās house!
Secondly why the hell isnāt he spending atleast half of his day job hunting? Filling it forms, doing courses to help his employment? He has you and 3 kids to support
Thirdly he should be helping you with the kids instead of going out and doing whatever he wants!
Fourthly I feel so bad for you, Iām really sorry your partner doesnāt want to be at home, if it was me Iād tell him to sort it out or leave.
Iād let his ass sit right there, all day. Get yo stuff and GO! Apparently, he doesnāt want to be at home and you canāt force him. He is disrespecting you with the BS.
Communicate with him
Wtf get yourself a grown ass man who gets he has a family and responsibilities. Days of hanging out with friends everyday is done like how is this even a question.
Youāre already raising the kids by yourself so pack his shit and end it. Why bother being miserable?
Easyyy. LOCK HIS ASS OUT.
He dont want to be there so pack his shit and put it on the curb
He sounds like a total douche canoe
Get you a job, save money, and gtfo. He clearly doesnāt want a family. You deserve better than that. And so do your kids. Screw him.
Where TF is he at all day? Thatās ridiculous, I know he aināt out til 9 pm looking for a damn job w covid going onā¦
Hell if he not home at a certain time then sweetheart he gone be outside all night 
I lock my house up and if he not there he might as well stay where he at. 
3AM everything getting locked up and yes including the garage.
If he aināt looking for a job, his ass needs to be home helping you with the kids, house, and dinner. Girl , heās up to no good.