Unless he is out looking for employment which should be until 5 pm NOT 9 PM he should be at home helping you out 50/50. Especialy with 3 kids it is 3 FT JOBS at home. Get his ass focused on the jobs at home when he us not productive looking for a job. Very simple…it’s not controlling and it’s not asking for too much. The fact that he doesn’t do it already and thinks he can be out all day and night says it’s time to kick his unemployed ass to the curb. Finalize the divorce papers so you can focus more on your 3 babies than a fucking grown ass man. Good luck. Wish you the best 
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Was in a relationship like this we have 3 kids, we were together for 5 1/2 years and I finally had enough and moved one!
Fast forward I’m now in a happy relationship (engaged) for 5 years with a man who would rather be home with me and the kids then be anywhere’s else❤️
Don’t ever settle for less then your worth!!
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Okay. It sounds like he doesn’t want to be a father or a husband. I know this hurts your heart to hear this but it is time to let him go. Don’t look back. You are the mom, dad and provide for your home, not his home yours. Let him go, you are already doing everything by yourself, he is there because you are a good woman with a good heart. Get those papers and have his things packed and i mean everything so he will not have a reason to step back in your house. I wish you the best, sending prayers and love to you and your kids. Be strong
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The next time he left to go to somebody else’s house to “sit and do nothing all day” he would come home to his belongings sitting outside in boxes and the locks changed.
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If he doesn’t want to be home, put him out! Simple solution! Have all his stuff sitting outside with the locks changed when he gets home. Don’t tolerate that disrespect. You shouldn’t want him there if he doesn’t want to be. Send him and his unemployed check to whoever house he’s spending so much time at. Problem solved!
I wouldn’t ask him to be home by a certain time. I’d tell him to be a man a dad and a husband! What kinda grown man stays gone all day while unemployed with children at home? What’s he doing? There’s gotta be more to this story or it’s time you accept the ugly truth and make changes or get comfortable being a single mom of 4
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I would suggest looking into marriage counseling, if possible. There’s some underlying reason why he doesn’t want to be at home, whether he realizes it or not.
You must be in a tight a position not to have already kick him out, who is going to pay the bills ect. Start getting you ducks in a row, set up day care, apply for a job. Don’t think about what he needs to do, think about your survival. You probably can’t afford it all on your own so think about your living arrangements and get that in order too. A Lawer to divorce is going to take some money and a judge is going to look at what you have done vs him. Get your ducks in line.
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Say goodbye to this relationship your doing everything is he trying to find work I don’t feel your be unreasonable by asking if he could be home by a certain time you need a break yourself this man is doing nothing but causing you stress walk away with those kids and start a fresh or tell him he’s got 6 weeks to find a job and start respecting you more
He is leaving you with all the responsibility then calling you controlling for questioning his whereabouts. No. He’s not being a husband and you are seeing you can do everything alone. You deserve better.
You know there are two ways to be happy change the situation or change your mindset towards it x
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A man that chooses not to be there for his wife is not a good husband, but a man that chooses not to be there for their kids is simply scum. He is responsible for those kids just as much as you are, and your children are probably hurting more than you. This could seriously mess them up psychologically if they don’t feel wanted or loved by him. I would definitely think he is cheating and honestly, what good will it do to investigate anyways? The man is simply not worth the therapy you will need to go thru to fix this.
You can’t force someone to spend time with you, if they wanted to they would. After you have told him several times then he is aware of the problem & just doesn’t care. Kick him to the curb & find a real man to love you & enjoy life with. Don’t sell yourself short.
Tell him fine ! See ya later ! Then start living your life and tell him you didn’t hold a gun to his head to make him marry you and you’re not gonna hold one to his head to make him stay. Then , start preparing to get a job and move on.
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Yeah he’s got to go. You and your kids deserve way better. Someone who enjoys time with his family. I can understand not wanting to sit around at home all day but hey maybe take your partner out to brunch while the kids are at school. On a different note he should be spending his time looking for a job unemployment runs out.
There is an app (we do it at work) that shows where his phone is. Open that app and track him. I can almost bet he isn’t just hanging out at a buddy’s house all day. Tell him if he doesn’t want to be home with you and the kids (when they are out), to get a job and contribute to the household. If that doesn’t work, then tell him he has to take care of the house and kids so you can go to work. If none of that works - kick his butt out to live with his buddies and you go to work and support you and the kids.
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If you have to ask facebook for advice. That says a lot. Let the guy go. Sounds like a cheater and a liar to me. If he was truly into the relationship he would be present. He has checked out. Time to do what is best for your mental health and well being. Let him go.
Change the locks and tell him to stay at whoever’s house he hangs out at! You’re doing it all on your own, you don’t need or deserve it!
I don’t tolerate that crap , get a job or get out , none of this staying out all day ignoring you when you have 3 kids ! That’s BS
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You did mentioned already, he doesn’t want to be at your place. So go to a good lawyer and start the divorce.
For you to even ask if it’s wrong and to say you feel like you’re doing crazy tells me he is gaslighting and manipulating you. Please leave him. It’s not you it’s him. You’re better than this.
Dump his ass! If he can’t be a father to the kids and not interested in been a husband he can stay gone! You don’t need the added stress you’ll be so much better off without him! He seems to have no respect for you either.
He could be cheating or on drugs. If i were you id stop begging him and change the locks when hes out and tell him go stay where he been at all day🤷. And just keep on doing for you and your kids.
He needs to grow the hell up, but you are under no obligation to wait for him to do it. I would not want my kids growing up thinking this is appropriate behavior for a husband/father. Instead show them how a strong woman does things. He needs a wake up call and maybe coming home to changed locks and divorce/custody papers might be that wake up call. Follow through though, if you take that step, stick with it. Then make him earn yours and your kids time.
How immature, since he’s unemployed, he should be helping with the kids not behaving like an adolescent himself
Start saving some of that unemployment he gets for “bills” and leave his sorry ass. He sounds toxic!
Time for divorce. Deep down you know that. You’re enabling him to be a single man, time to release him
You’re not crazy. And you’re not asking for too much or being controlling. He is disrespectful to you and your marriage. He is not there for the children. You are better off. Your children are better off. Stand up and put your foot down for the kids sake. Get support and help from your family and friends. Plenty of support here. You are not alone. We’ve all had our fair share of losers. Trust me, he’s not the one.
Good luck 
Not working. He needs to look for a job. Unemployment won’t last forever. Sounds like cheating. Lady you are in denial. He needs to step up and help you out.
He doesn’t want to be married or bother to be a parent anymore. Get to court first and take him for max support. Fuck him (but don’t).
Also, get a STD panel done ASAP
uh… tell him if he continues to act like a CHILD, he will get treated as such!!! 
and seriously wtf… has it always been like this? is he depressed? …does he parent at all or is he just sleeping there? who in their right mind gets upset over not leaving the house until 720AM?? I gotta tell ya, it’s hard to wrap my head around any of this 
He sounds like a boy. Time to grow up get a job and support your family. Why is he running around all day instead of job hunting? Let him go girl!
A lot of people find out it’s not so interesting to be gone all the time when no one is missing them, checking on them, wondering where they are.
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It’s not going to get better. Stop thinking with your heart. He isn’t. Throw him out, get a lawyer.
I hate to hurt your feelings but I believe your husband has another woman if he loves you he would be home with you and the children
It’s obvious that he doesn’t want to be there, so why keep holding on and breaking breaking your own heart?
Tell him to get a job or get gone…He is a child and needs to grow up and take care of his responsibilities…Sounds like 1 of those people taking advantage of the unemployment when there are plenty of places hiring
I agree…it sounds like he’s already gone and don’t want to be there anymore!! You deserve better! LET HIM GO!!!
Make a move soon. Your children are watching. A real man teaches boys to be real men. A real women teaches boys to be real men by not accepting wannabe men.
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Definately an issue. He should want to spend time with you and the kids.
Throw that whole “boy” AWAY!!!
I would just leave his ass doesn’t sound like he wants to be a family man hell me and my husband have a thing hes home by 4pm after work hangs out with me and the kids and if he goes out I ask that he be home by 11pm or call me so I dont worry
you are not mad or controlling. it’s called respect and commitment. both things which your partner seems to lack. totally unacceptable behavior especially when 3 kids involved + his unemployment status. leave this man child behind.
Divorce him. You are already doing everything on you’re own. It’s much easier to just find someone else who gives a shit
Get rid of him…the same red flags u ignore now…will be the same reason u will leave later…speaking from experience
Is he cheating? Drugs?
He definitely cheating, take it from someone who was married 25yrs this is the #1 sign
What a winner.
You’re already doing everything on your own. Ditch this guy.
Sounds like he doesn’t want to be there. So tell him to hit the road
Tell him to not come back!
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Go search Tik Tok under “ I’m not a baker” that’s my answer .
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Oh hell no!!! If you home then his ass better be too… Does he got another women on the side?? Best of luck but his ass would be out!
Send him packing, what is he doing for you or the kids
Dump him and get on with your life.
Oh man … he is cheating… or hiding a drug habit but no matter what he is a shit human. DUMP HIM FAST.
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Girl it’s time to say goodbye
Ewww, honey no. You need to throw the whole man away!!!
Open those eyes girl.
Who the hell puts a curfew on their partner? No wonder he doesn’t want to go home. What else are you doing to him? For all we know he’s an abused man in a bad relationship but is ashamed to seek help out of fear of retribution. Poor guy.
Honey, you need to leave.
Your doing all on your own so remove the burden that you call a partner when in fact he’s just an arsehole , you and your children deserve so much more x so pack his bags put them at the gate and don’t look back . It won’t be easy but you will be happier in the long run . Hope you find love and happiness x
Somebody’s cheeaaatingggg 
throw him in the trash
Maybe. You. Need. Someone. Else. I. Don’t. Like. It. When. People. Tell. Me. I. Have. To. Do. Something. Maybe. He. Is. Staying. Gone. Because. You. Told. Him. To. Be. Home. By. A. Certain. Time. But. If. He. Is. Not. Working. He. Should. Be. Looking. First. A. Job. Helping. With. The. Kids. Etc. I. Have. A. Rule. If. You. Cost. Me. Money. Cause. Me. Problems. Waste. My. Time. I. Don’t. Need. You. If. He. Isn’t. Helping. You. He. Most. Certainly. Doesn’t. Need. To. Hurt. You.
He is being selfish.
Fuck that. You don’t get to unemployed AND a man-teenager. Tell him to grow tf up
I was suspecting my husband was cheating no me .for over a year now, I had no way to prove it when I confronted him, he’d lied about it was literally eating me up until a friend of mine directed me to extreme247hacker@gmail. Com. who finally helped me hacked his phone and later I saw all the evidence and his activities and his new lover,
He should want to spend time with you. Nothing should stop that. You are a convenience for him when he wants it to be. Sounds like he contributes nothing to the relationship including the companionship you ask him for. You should not have to ask/beg for a companions affection. It should be there. You didnt specify if he was the Father of any kids but it doesnt matter, he should be a healthy part of their lives, I raised 2 awesome step kids myself and still have a great relationship even after their Mother (my Wife) passed. If he is not then you have an answer, never ask/beg for his attention and he should be accepting/helping and just as loving of the children as if they where his own. If he is spending more time away while unemployed then its not a relationship. You are being used, you are nothing more to him than a maid, motherly type woman with the perks of sex when he wants. In my opinion thats a form of abuse.
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U shouldnt have to ASK your spouse to be home. Listen to what you said. “He doesn’t want to be home” that should tell you something. Hes making it obvious hes done with being a husband and father. I’d leave.
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Sounds like you know the answer and just looking for affirmation that you should leave. If you’re still not sure, think of it this way, would you want your daughters to be treated this way or would you want your son to treat a woman like that? You are teaching your children that this behavior is acceptable and how relationships work. If it were me I’d move myself and kids out while he were gone (yes, I’ve actually done this) and move on with your life. Get a job and focus on you and your kids. But it sounds like he is having an affair and already moved on. Do the same. Talk to a lawyer, you maybe able to get him on abandonment.
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Does anyone work? Sweetheart if he doesn’t want to come home it may be time to start evaluating your future.
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That’s not a man you have, that’s somebody’s child. He doesn’t exemplify manly qualifications but exhibits the behavior of a boy. See yourself in a better relationship because a man honors his woman and their children. He adds to her and never takes away.
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Call an attorney and start the divorce. Pack his crap and place it outside and have the locks changed. Period. He doesnt want to be a parent and in a marriage. Move on and get yourself and your babies the life you deserve. Let his friends have him.
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Throw the whole man out
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If he’s unemployed he should be at home helping raise the kids and do things around the house. If he doesn’t wanna be home, he needs to find a new home and you need get back to loving yourself so you can find a healthy man for an adult and healthy relationship. Sounds like your man stopped maturing at about 17.
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I don’t think your controlling. And why is it that your taking care of the kids on our own .am sorry you need to tell to go look for a job . And I agree it’s not right for you to sit home with the kids why he out all kind of hours .I think your husband only cares about himself. I would be looking to move out
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If your husband does not want to be at home with you and your kids then that is a huge problem! That is what a family is. It would be different if he were at work and couldn’t be there. My father in law did the same and my mil was always at home by herself with the kids while he was out with friends always. She divorced him after 10 years and found a wonderful man that loves spending time with her and her family. You should be a priority not a last resort.
I don’t believe you are you crazy. I do believe you know exactly what to do. The signs are all there, but if you believe in God then you put in his hands. He will guide your way and give you strength! I wish you the best of luck!
Wow…i myself would not want him to be there either if he would rather be somewhere else!!! sounds like your raising kids without his support already…??? why put up with it when you know you can ALREADY RELY ON YOURSELF!!! sad but true…until someone comes along that truly appreciates you a6d your family…stay strong, it gets lonely i know, best of luck to you.
I hope you look deep down and realize you already know the answer. Its very difficult to make that decision for yourself. But a sad/mad momma is not the momma your babies need. Worrying about him and your relationship is taking time away from you worrying about your babies.
I hope you find peace and happiness
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If he doesn’t want to there, then by all means don’t let him be there…period. Take his stuff out of the house and change the locks.
Why do you need him again, you don’t. You’re the parent and provider. Let him go sis. I agree with the others change the locks and file for divorce and don’t turn back. You deserve better for the future of you and your kids
Classic gas lighting you aren’t crazy he’s a bad spouse and father
If your husband doesn’t want to be home you need to be thinking about your kids get a job kick him to the curb because your the only one in your marriage right now. Frankly he is most likely cheating even if he is not cheating he is not in the marriage and if he not willing to get help your wasting your time.
I would tell him to kick rocks and that he can stay out kicking them as long as he likes cause he’s now the single man he obviously wanted to be
2 things: when you ask for basic respect like come home at a decent hour & he starts accusing you of being controlling, then he has the issue, not you. Another thing, if he’s not home & you call/text him with no response, then he’s probably not hanging out with a friend.
My door would close at a certain time & if you’re not home, then you sleep outside.
Tell he’s. Loser. Drop him and. Hangs the locks on the door. If he doesn’t want to be a partner, father, part of family and home, tell him to go somewhere else.
Start putting your ducks in a row to leave. Take out cash as you can and save it in case you need last first sec deposit on a place to live, etc. The guy is a loser and had already moved on. If he doesn’t want to be there, don’t make him. You shouldn’t have to talk someone into it or force them. He should want to. Enough is enough. Let go and raise the bar next time a lot higher.
Ditch the jerk. Your not important to him. Not working and unemployed. Be home by 9 lol.
I’m sorry to tell he comes home at midnight because he can. HE’S taking ADVANTAGE of you because he knows you’ll go along with it. I went thru this years ago and the best thing I did was leave! I waited too long because I was scared to be alone. ( 17 years) DONT analyze or think about it, get out! The harm it could do to your kids is not worth it. HE’S acting up because he doesn’t have a job, he PROBABLE feels YOU’D be better off without him. HE’S playing the victim by doing this. That’s why he’s pushing you away. He could be having an affair. If he is it’s a self destruction habit. I don’t know your situation, do you have family support? I know that helped me alot. I know to even think about it, makes you scared & sad. I was there years ago and I had God & my family to get me THRU. God bless you !
Something is wrong in this marriage. It definitely isn’t a partnership
Drop the kids off where he’s at and go on your way. He’s not wanting to be there so why force him
Their his kids too - maybe you should leave and let him get the kids ready for school and be there when they get home. Don’t be a doormat!
No its not wrong… and it’s not wrong to file for divorce either cause obviously the husband party does not care…
I don’t know. Sounds like your husband is bored. Request an open relationship & see if he accepts.
Sounds like hes done with you. Time to file divorce and move on. Throw his stuff out to the curb since he wants to be gone. Hes obviously cheating. He has no respect for you and its not fair to you to continue to be in that kind of relationship.
Girl , wake up stop letting him walk all over you . He’s spending time with someone he thinks more of than you. You need to value yourself like top shelve , don t let him make you feel like your on discount. You are special an you have value an you have what takes to be a good parent. So, get yourself together an start putting things in place so you can move on without him. And then drop the bomb on him an tell him he doesn t ever need to come home again that you are done. Tell him come get your things. I hope you can do right for your kids an yourself, because you deserve better.
DIVORCE
If your going to do it alone might as well be alone.
I would ask him NOT to come home… He’s taking the piss…
Get rid of him!! Not a marriage!!!
I don’t even know why you had to ask for advice on this! no respect for you or the kid’s, no need to read between the lines, it’s clearly shown.