So you imply that he is a sex offender and then you wonder why he gets angry… I’d be kicking you out too.
The fact you think there’s something wrong means maybe the prob is with you dad’s shod be aloud a close bond with their daughters just as well as their sons
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I’d probably tell you to leave if you took my parental love and turned into a sexual thing .
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And also sounds like your jealous of his child .
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Not that there is a danger of impropriety, but at five years old and still sleeping with a parent regularly could affect her ability be a adjust to separation, which I feel, she should be able to do most of the time, by no.
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DEAR ANONYMOUS PLEASE READ THIS.
I commented earlier but I talked to my husband about it and want to share with you what he said. My husband is a child predator profiler. His career is in child exploitation. What he told me are these following things. That it is inappropriate. That it is wrong. The problem is lack of boundaries. The problem is that what is being taught to the child about boundaries and behavior. It’s not appropriate or healthy for a child to sleep with or snuggle with a parent or anyone else that is wearing only underwear. It doesn’t mean that an adult that participates in this behavior is a pedophile. It does mean that there are a clear lack of boundaries. My husband snuggles our children just not in his boxers. That is a boundary set in regards to children, no underwear snuggling bc it’s inappropriate. That is what children and adults should have as a healthy boundary. DO NOT PAY ATTENTION TO THE PEOPLE WHO SAY IT IS OKAY BECAUSE IT IS NOT.
Also, I read the post to my husband and he identified red flags. Two being huge red flags. One being that your intuition is telling you something isn’t right. Another is how your boyfriend responded to you bringing it up. If you would like or if anyone would like information on this subject my husband would be glad to provide it. This is a serious matter and should not be dismissed. He even said that you would be surprised at how many mothers/stepmothers say “he’d never,” “but that’s his daughter,” “he loves her. He’d never hurt her,” etc.
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Just… what is wrong with YOU to think it’s weird…?
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It’s his own daughter she’s just a little girl right now if she was older then I could see you saying something but if your questioning his behavior with his kids then you need to NOT be with him at all plus the way he treats you when his kids are there that’s how he’s showing his kids to treat you and soon they will be disrespecting you every time they are there.This guy doesn’t respect you and is a complete jerk to you when his kids are around.Your first thought was he could be a perv because he wore boxers while sleeping next to his 5 year old daughter now to me it sounds like you don’t trust him as much as you think and that’s a huge thing when your with someone who has kids…
Oh my lodrt lady!!! Thou shall not sexualize a father sleeping with their child and cuddling. It’s a normal and simple everyday expectation. It’s disgusting you would immediately jump to think such a disgusting idea! I would toss you out on your azz if I was that man!!
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I mean i still shower with my 6 year old ! He sees me naked at times… i guess if it was a male doing what im doing it would be taken so wrong… its unfair! I personally dont find any issues with that! Id sleep next to my dad always cuddled up and never felt it was wrong, he too would wear boxes in summer! Being an adult now i miss those days! I never think about those stuff that you have mentioned, ask yourself what is it that makes you so uncomfortsble about it?? Good luck
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No different than my 5 year old sleeping with me and my husband. I only wear a tee shirt and underwear and my husband sleeps in boxers
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Clearly you don’t have kid’s 
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Personally I think it’s inappropriate. I would bring the subject up with the mother and perhaps she can address the situation.
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Sorry all of you that think it’s ok probably young and don’t have kids his reaction said it all
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I’m with you Anonymous writer. I don’t find that to be appropriate. I was a step mother and I did not like nor felt comfortable sleeping in the same bed as my step child.
Nor do I feel comfortable with my children sleeping in the same bed with my boyfriend and I.
By setting this boundary, It just removes any inclination a foul play by not allowing children in the bed with grown people.
My five year old is not allowed in the bed with me at all because I wear little to no clothes to bed. So I simply don’t like the idea of kids in the bed, snuggled up. The sofa, fully clothed is something different. But never the bed.
So maybe this isn’t the relationship for you. Because I also don’t agree with you not being able to have a say when it comes to his child. If you are going to be a contributing partner in that child’s life, you should be able to speak your peace. I think it’s time for you to do some re-evaluation. 
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Girl seriously 
??? Just leave and save him from the BS that your disputing. 
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As someone who was a child who experience SA I can see how it makes YOU uncomfortable but it seems normal to me 
Sounds like you are projecting your own fears/trauma onto their situation. I used to be guilty of this. Because of my own trauma. I think you need to be asking yourself why does this bother me so much? And take that and grow from it and see that not all parents are out to cause harm to their child… I also see why he gets offended no one wants to be accused of harming their child.
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Lol not sure where did this lady grow up or maybe there is different jealousy problems there. Us from Europe people that is completely normal and our father back then didn’t wear boxers lol it was speedos lol she would have hart attack
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I don’t necessarily think it’s weird unless his wiener doesn’t stay in place lol
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I think it’s weird and I would be uncomfortable with it. Also I’m uncomfortable with his reaction to your concern. You’re not allowed to speak? Is he like that with other things as well?
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It is very normal for a 5year old to want to sleep with her dad. He’s wearing boxers they are undies/PJ shorts. So wrong to sexualize a father snuggling his girl.
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You’re the one sexualising it - seems to me that somethings wrong with you.
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Nothing wrong in it at all. My son is 7 and he still sometimes will climb in to bed with me if he needs reassurance or comfort.
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You don’t have kids do you. This is weird. Not him sleeping in his boxers…
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DO NOT SEXUALIZE a father snuggling with his daughter. It’s no different then him in a pair of shorts sitting on the couch with her.
No with that being said. I, myself. Wouldn’t allow it just because they bed is for us to have fun time and sleep in it. My kids didn’t sleep with me. To each their own though!
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Why sexualize anything🤷 that’s what’s wrong these days people do this and project their own discomforts on others.
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It almost sounds to me like she is jealous of the child. I have seen this many times and his reaction is probably because she always complains when the child is there…I could be wrong but…
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Your a piece of shit
.why are you sexualising it she is his daughter and hes wearing boxers. your most likely making him feel like hes doing something wrong 
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Something is wrong with you. Not him. Id be angry too with your thought process and implying something sexual. Go see a therapist
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This is coming from someone who use to feel that way to . It was my trauma and jealously that was wrong not their relationship and the way your acting could really effect their relationship.i had problems with my mom showing me no effection and my dad’s absents that made me act out that way after havingy own children I sleep with my 7 year old son with down syndrome in 3 yr d daughter in tank top n undies sometimes it’s not weird
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I am not a parent, but I am a licenced therapist and I also have a history of working with sex offenders. I also look forward to starting a family with my partner one day.
I think that one’s personal history during childhood could have a great influence on how dad sleeping next to his 5 year old daughter in underwear would be perceived. If someone has been sexually abused by a trusted adult male in their life, the idea of this way of bonding could be triggering. I don’t think abuse is happening here. At the same time I can understand the trigger. I’m not justifying the way you’re treating the dad either. If you have a sexual abuse history though, I can see why this could be challenging to understand.
If childhood sexual trauma is a part of your life, there are some powerful trauma processing therepies that can help you heal and shift your core beliefs around this issue.
I’m in agreement with those in the group who are stating that this isn’t a sexualized situation or behavior. In many healthy families, parents and kids feel comfortable roaming about the home in underwear. It’s an innocent comfort thing. Men sleep in boxers all the time whether they are parents or not. It sounds like dad has done a good job not sexualizing wearing underwear. That’s a good thing in my opinion. It sounds to me like this is a special way that they spend time together, much like when he would hold her as a baby up to his bare chest on warm summer nights. To me, this cuddling situation sounds like a great way to release a bunch of oxytocin and tighten their bond.
I also agree with those who have mentioned that we don’t want to create a total dependency on the parent to be present in order to sleep. We do want to encourage children’s autonomy and independence. However, this post hasn’t indicated if the daughter can or can’t sleep when he’s not there, so it could be a non issue here.
I’ll be blunt here… If he were a pedophile we wouldn’t be this open about his intimate times with his daughter. He would know what he’s doing is shameful or forbidden and would try and hide it from you if sexual intentions were present. You’d get a very deer in the headlights look or some weird justifications that don’t add up as opposed to a “why do you have an issue with this” look that you’re getting. That is my opinion from professional experience anyway.
Accusing a man of being a sexual abuser is a huge attack against his character. Society has pegged men as bad parents far too often, that when we see a good dad people get suspicious of his intentions. This is sexist and unfair. I can completely understand why he would be so angry with you. You have attacked him at his very core and you keep doing it over and over and over. Your accusations explicitly state that you don’t trust, respect or understand him. If you live there too, maybe telling you to leave is a bit over the top. Wanting space from you though is completely understandable.
I also see a weird hint of jealousy in this post and it makes me uncomfortable. It comes across that you’re jealous and insecure that he’s having appropriate and intimate time with his daughter and not you and that bothers you.
If I were the girlfriend in this scenario, and I had a good relationship with the daughter as well as consent, I would join in the cuddle puddle! I have visions of me and my partner having spontaneous cuddle puddles with our children who burst through our bedroom door first thing in the morning and guess what… We are both going to be in our underwear… Nothing sexual about it. Those are our pajamas.
In summary, good dads don’t get enough credit. Sexism toward men is way too prevelant. Pedophiles are often secretive and creepy. Healing from trauma is important so we don’t project our own adverse experiences onto new people in our lives who may be quite healthy. Calling people pedophiles is extremely offensive and should be done with great caution.
Thank you for listening to my perspective. 
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It’s his daughter, she’s 5! Maybe grow up abit!!
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Your sexualizing your boyfriend with his DAUGHTER. You are the problem here
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You all say shes sexualising the fact his snuggling with his daughter, thats not what she’s asking. She’s asking bout the fact his just in boxers.
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My father and i used to lie next to each other right up till i was thirteen with out thought. This world is sick!
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Just because YOU are uncomfortable with it, does not mean it’s wrong. If a child is uncomfortable, you will absolutely be able to tell. If his daughter is happy, healthy, taken care of, and sleeps the best next to her daddy, then it’s a you problem, not a them problem. You’re sexualizing something that shouldn’t be sexualized, insinuating that it’s wrong for whatever reasoning you think you have. She probably feels safe and protected next to her daddy, and it’s okay and normal. Would it be the same if the situation was reversed and a man said he’s seeing a woman who has kids and sleeps in big tshirts and just underwear? Probably not. Sounds like that isn’t the relationship you need to be in if you can’t let him be a dad and not criticize how he does things as a father.
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You’re making it weird
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It sounds like you are sexualising his relationship with his daughter. The problem is with you, not him. My husband sleeps in underwear next to my kids.
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You are saying it’s weird because why? I think him wearing boxers is a step up from being naked??? She’s happy and safe and definitely doesn’t need your weird negativity. Don’t blame boyfriend for getting mad at you, I would too. Would you prefer him to be fully clothed for some reason? No need to sexualise a father and his daughter when they are sleeping!!!
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I think your mind is in the gutter or you jealous as hell of the daughter nothing wrong with this my partner sleeps with our daughter in just his boxers
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In your opinion it’s weird and if it’s something you’ve brought up more than once I can see the annoyance. But you’re adults and maybe a conversation about it would be a good start.
Yeah not ok that he’s lashing out on you and putting u out where you pay to live also. And yes that’s a no for me just boxers like I don’t lay in just my panties with my kids…
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Everyone calm down it’s a new situation for her & asking for advice spks volumes eh?! Xx
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So you are sexualising him wearing boxers. I would go seek help for what ever happened to you. Get out of the house. You don’t deserve them as you are fucked up.
It doesn’t matter what your comfortable with its what the daughter is comfortable with. When the daughter makes comments that’s when to change bed attire or sleeping arrangements
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You are gross for even thinking of anything sexual. You have issues!
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Wow I think your wrong. Sorry
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Leave, and cut your losses
If you paying for bills in house stop and leave, report him
If you paying for actual house, see a lawyer, report him and prepare for the fight of your life
Also
DOCUMENT DOCUMENT DOCUMENT EVERYTHING what he does, says how he reacts how it makes you feel
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The problem is your dirty mind. I’d be pissed too at your accusation. Grow up
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Only if his daughter feels its weird and uncomfortable is when its a problem. Dont sexualize everything. Our 5 years old sleep with only her boxers on some nights and it’s completely fine. We make her feels safe as a parent should do.
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Did I read this correctly, like how are you sexualizing this… it’s sad that you find this abnormal and weird. i feel like you’d be better off leaving that situation for their sake, he’s a father in his typical comfy clothes…
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Ok I’d be extremely mad too… you are doing 2 things. Being jealous which is disgusting. And sexualising a daddy daughter relationship would you be so weirded out if it was a mother in her bra and undies cuddling up to her child? I think you need to leave thier relationship means a he’ll of a lot more than yours ever should.
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You’re straight out accusing him of touching his daughter.
Any normal human would get mad.
Get back in your box.
You wouldn’t get angry at a woman sleeping in boxers with a male child.
Grow up.
You sound pathetic.
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Alot of men wear just boxers to bed because it’s comfortable for them to sleep like that. Men don’t like to be uncomfortable fully clothed. He most likely grew up doing this as a child and sees nothing wrong with what he is doing.
Which there is nothing wrong with him doing this…
It’s not him being sexual to his child at all.
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I would rather ask why you’re sexualising the bond between father and daughter. Of course that will upset him! Why is this triggering for you? Perhaps you need therapy for yourself?
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Nothing wrong with it at all!
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Sounds like you are jealous of a daughter. Get your head right.
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Alicia Smith check this 
out haha
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I wouldn’t sexualize this
Also you two are not getting along about this, you either need to sit and talk it out or move on
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. He is showing you what your life will be like with him. If it’s not what you want then you need to find a new place and a new man.
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Do you have some memory that causes you to question this. I do so I can understand.
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You need to get out of the relationship for starters. I am not concerned about his daughter’s safety from what I’m reading. I do have concerns about yours.
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No, it’s not weird. You’re weird for asking. 
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Currently cuddling up to my unwell 3 yr old in just panties cause 1. she’s ill and wants to be by my side rather than suffering alone so she opted for my bed as her sleep space 2. it’s like a sauna in here , 3. I breastfeed and 4. if I had a man who kicked off about it I’d kick him to the curb faster than you can say toodleoo twunt. I think if your opinions of him being comfortable around his own child and they being comfortable round him are making you uneasy that you need counselling cause sexualising something innocent is odd 
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Your concerns are valid. That’s all.
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This comment section did not disappoint. 
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I find the whole post is pathetic. I think you need to remove yourself asap before you blow everything.
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No…it’s not wrong. I wonder if she’d feel similar if he had a son and not a daughter? If it would change her POV then I’m thinking she has some traumatic experience or something that makes her feel weird when it’s him & his daughter. She should explore why with a therapist before it causes anymore damage.
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I think it’s gross that you’re sexualizing their relationship. Why are you even with a man that you could think of that way?
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Are you jealous of his daughter? I don’t think this sounds fishy at all. At lot of young children like to be close to their parents when they sleep
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This child should have her own bedroom as she is 5years old
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Imo you’re super creepy for even thinking it’s weird…
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Wow I’d hate to see how you react at an outing at the beach or pool 
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- There is nothing wrong with this. Many parents cosleep with kids and are they supposed to sleep with long johns on in the summertime? No.
- Whatever in your head is making you feel like this isn’t okay needs to be addressed. Therapy, psychiatrist, whatever.
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I sleep in shorts that look like boxers and a sports bra, or tank top… I co-sleep often because my little guy has nigh terrors/nightmares/or sometimes just needs his mama. He’s 3.
His father sleeps in shorts/boxers all the time, my little guy also sleeps with him at his house.
Smfh this entire post is fuct up. 
Seems like the only thing wrong with this entire scenario, is you.
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Wow i have no words. Why are you sexualising this? Its so normal so manay parents do this.
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Grow the hell up and stop causing problems.
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Oh my goodness really. I bet if this was your shared daughter you’d feel entirely differently about this. I can vividly remember crawling to sleep next to my Daddy at that age and he slept in boxers only (we have very hot summers here) completely innocent, and felt so safe, my mom would join later due to having to catch up her soapies she had taped on VHS 
I was a very restless sleeper I’d often wake both of them with a classic foot to the mouth or whack . My dad not wanting to disturb, would just go sleep in my tiny princess bed alone 
. My parents said I did this until at least 8 years old.
My husband and I have boy/girl twins they have just turned 6. The twins still insist of having their beds pushed together. The night routine I read them a story and then Dad does the “ok no no more stories, sleep time”, and they both cuddle up. My hubby in Summer sleeps in boxers and a tshirt. I always hear them, my daughter saying “Daddy if stroke your head like this you must purr purr, like a kitten, he
complies 
. Sweetest things to overhear 
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You’re warped and that’s all I have to say
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Let the cops let him know its definitely not ok
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My daughter sleeps next to her father when he’s in boxer shorts what’s the problem! Honestly get over yourself if this was you would you wear clothes to bed! Do you think breastfeeding is wrong too?!
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You must thing breastfeeding is wrong
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My 3 Grandsons jump into bed with me and I’m wearing shorts and a top I see nothing wrong with this they even want cuddles most parents do this it’s perfectly fine………with all the bad news on hand about child abuse don’t feel bad about your question I understand how a thought might enter your mind
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You are overreacting.stop sexualizing it.
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Not weird at all. But she should sleep in her own room
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Maybe you’re just jealous of his daughter for you to be thinking things like that or possibly you’re projecting your own past into their father daughter relationship
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Bigger issues. Why are you paying for his house after a year? Where do you sleep?Do you live there? Or just pay for the house? He gets angry at you when she comes and not other times?
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She should be in her own room but kids find comfort in parents, unless you’re dating a monster and you know it then it’s completely innocent, if you’re aware he’s a monster somehow or for some reason that makes you one too! So relax. It’s not that deep
Wow you must not have children because this is so normal and for you to even have thoughts that it’s not man you need to leave that man alone so he can keep being a father to his daughter
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I’d probably ask you to leave too.
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The fact that you think this is weird makes me sad for you, actually.
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It is not normal for a dad too do that. Does he sleep with her all night? Then I would worry. If he just lays with her till she falls a sleep! That’s different. Maybe get help!!!??? 
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Not weird. He’s her dad and it’s also ok to co sleep.
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Wow a daughter can’t get a cuddle off her daddy 
leave them alone… you are the one sexualising it and that’s why he’s getting angry at you coz the reason you find it weird is what exactly?!? You questioning him cuddling his daughter and her sleeping in the bed effectively accuses him of being a peado when you are the one with the problem! Sorry hun but you either join em and get snuggling or you should leave and please never have children if you have an issue with them wanting to be close to you at night 
smh
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Only issue I see with this is you sexualizing a father and daughter sleeping in the same bed together… 
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His behaviour is suspicious to me .He sounds like he is very controlling
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LOL she’s 5, no. 15? yes. but yay for being a protective mommy.
Time to leave ! Can only tell me ONE time to leave ! He is telling you your just visiting.
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Umm not weird at all, maybe more concerning that you are even thi king about it in a weird way…just being honest.
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