I would be glad he’s making such an effort as a lot of parents have the opposite issue. However, every hour would be completely disruptive so definitely talk to him about it. Just use good wording and let him know you’re happy he wants to talk to her so much but you can’t always drop what you’re doing that often to let her be on your phone.
4 Likes
- I’m sure she’s grateful he cares about his kid.
- Allow him half the time with her.
- ask him to only call in the morning and at night.
- someone said kids this age need more time with parents(based on the topic of forgetting them I think?) but I will tell you rn that I know of a little girl who switches between houses all the time and she remembers and knows everyone in her separate homes’ names.
- …does this guy… NOT have a job…???
2 Likes
Approach him about it and tell him you love that he is an active and involved father and you are happy to coparent but his current calling schedule doesn’t work well with yours and ask if you can set designated times each day for the call that fits everyone’s schedule.
15 Likes
I just posted this exact thing in another group!! I completely understand you! I finally told him it was too much and to limit the calls to 2-3 times a day. He didn’t like it but I told him I would block his number until bedtime if he didn’t stop calling as much.
13 Likes
sounds like hes trying to still control mom from experience if he wants to see her why doesnt he instead of calling every hour doesnt he have a job ? some thing to do ?
3 Likes
Now if he wasn’t calling you’d be making a post about that. Be lucky he’s calling at all.
22 Likes
Way too much in my opinion. How do you even come up with that much to talk about with a two year old that warrants several daily calls? Yall are so quick to judge “oh you’d be mad if he didn’t call.” Thats not the issue. This man clearly lacks boundaries and not a single one of you would like your phone being blown up all day like that when you have a busy schedule. Talk to him about certain times of day that are convenient for phone calls, and share custody so he isn’t having to call everyday.
16 Likes
Don’t answer when you don’t need to, and when he talks to you about it, being all angry make a quick simple reply. I will answer when I can, then don’t say anything else. He will get the picture.
5 Likes
Have you asked him why he is doing it so much, instead of making assumptions? I’d be communicating asking why. I don’t know the full story, but dad’s today don’t get a fair go.
5 Likes
Do y’all live close by? Have her spend time with him. She’s too little to have conversations but he can make memories with her and build the bond without having to bother you any.
3 Likes
IF he got that much FREE TIME he SHOULD come pick her up screw all that calling. Come get her and spend the day with her… Since he wants you to believe/think he loves her so much.
3 Likes
Girl be happy that his loves his baby and want to be a gd daddy. There r so many children that their daddys just walk away…try asking him to let her call him back.
4 Likes
You’re kidding right? He is her dad! A girl needs her dad so she has a clear view of herself. Don’t get between that, he is not harming her he is talking to his child!
6 Likes
If you’re busy, don’t answer. Try and ask him to call twice a day but if he refuses then don’t answer.
5 Likes
You should be able to mediate a schedule in family court and bring this exact problem up and ask for it to have a stipulation in the court ageement. And please if there is no custody or visitation set up even for 50/50… the obsessive makes me nervous he may take off with them with it being that much. Separation anxiety or listening into your life, either way it’s obsessive and unhealthy behavior that needs an intervention of some sort. He needs to model health behavior and boundaries for both you and your child. Not show unhealthy attachment or obsessive behavior. Children learn from their parents…I can attest that they will pick up on things we may not and mimic it in their daily life, thinking it’s normal behavior. Your first concern is that he is showing and teaching healthy boundaries for good mental health as they age
2 Likes
It sounds like he wants to be in her life. Can he take her a couple days a week? Even just a few hours one day week and you get other stuff done during that time or even take a nap.
2 Likes
Kids need to be able to talk to parents anytime, this the same with the parents.
5 Likes
Just talk with him. Set a schedule that works best for both of you. If you go to him in a respectful manner then surely he will be respectful back.
2 Likes
That’s too much. I’d get annoyed . I wouldn’t pick up. He gets his time with her right?
3 Likes
He is probably calling her to annoy you. He doesn’t need to talk to her more than once a day. Ridiculous
4 Likes
Tell him to call at a certain time you can ignore his calls and messages put your phone on airplane mode
3 Likes
My ex husband did the same and would blow me up if the phone wasn’t answered and demanded to know where we were. I set boundaries and made a time of once per evening and the kids would call him after dinner/baths etc.
2 Likes
Good luck my kids dad calls every night and I have to fight to get my now 3 and 6 year old to talk to him on the phone they refuse and run of and he gets mad because they won’t sit and talk for 15 min. He’s lucky if he gets a hi and bye and done times they’ll run by and say love you
1 Like
Doesn’t he work? How does he find the time to call every hour of the day? I mean it’s great to be there for your kid but it can be excessive and a way on keeping tabs on his ex.
2 Likes
I mean a lot of parents walk out so I’d be happy he’s calling and trying to make it known he’s there
3 Likes
Talk to him and explain that is way to excessive. Limit it to a few times a day and if you don’t already, set up a few times a week he can video chat with her. Does he see her at all throughout the week? Possibly adding an extra day here or there will help with the excessiveness of his phone calls.
So we all know its his way of keeping tabs on you.
Thats all.it is.
4 Likes
Seems to me you need to sit down with a mediator to discuss a schedule so not to disrupt your schedule.
1 Like
Sounds to me like he’s trying to keep tabs on you, tell him you have no issue with him calling his daughter but it needs to be at an agreed time that suits you both . He can’t be calling like this, yes it amazing he wants a relationship with her but this is too much x
2 Likes
Sounds like he is checking up on his daughters mom every hour.
1 Like
I’d be grateful he even wants to talk to her… my now almost 8yo begs for her sperm donor to call but instead he refuses claiming he’s too busy or tells people I keep her away and cut ties…
Set boundaries, he’s using your daughter to control you. Give him set times and days to call and stick to it.
I would flat out tell him I appreciate that you are making the effort to show our daughter you love her and care but you are calling too much. I have a life and you are impeding on it and I can’t get things done that I need to get done. You can call her at this time and talk to her until this time. Point blank. If he doesn’t respect it just don’t answer when he calls. If it makes him mad let it. And then answer when he calls at the designated time and explain to him again. He has no right to control your life.
Once a day, in the evening say goodnight or maybe in the morning too to say have a good day sounds fine but every hour is far too much, she won’t have time to engage in play as it will be interupted by having to talk on the phone.
Just explain this to him and say that she needs time to play and eat ect and that if he is struggling with the separation then he can see her more or something (I obviously dunno your agreement of visitation) and then just as nice as possible say that you won’t be answering the phone every hour anymore and that you’ll only answer if you’re both home and not doing anything x
Get her a little $40 kids watch and tell him to hook it up to his phone. It acts more like a walkie talkie and he can call her whenever he wants, without involving you.
2 Likes
Set a certain “call time” in the morning when she wakes up, and at night when she goes to sleep. For him to call her. A 2 year old does not have that much to talk about lol.
I wish my kids’ dad would call my son even once a month. Maybe he’s just trying to be involved?
Simple solution: Don’t answer the phone! He wants to know where you are at all times. Tell him he can speak to her at certain times. Trust me a judge will tell him to get a grip.
That would be crazy way too much for me personally. I’d limit it to a certain time a day. Or morning and bedtime.
Girl no…
He’s controlling. Tell him it’s time to get on a normal schedule. He can call in the morning and evening or before bed. Y’all have things to do.
Don’t take his calls. Enjoy your day and stick with it. He’s being ridiculous
1 Like
No advice. My husband is always with our kids and if we separated I would never deny a call but you can get a schedule. If you feel this is manipulation talk to him and let you know you need to set up clear times and schedule for talking to daddy.
Does he have any visitation with her? It’s time to set some call boundaries.
Yeah, no…set a phone time and he has to stick to it…it’s ridiculous that he has to call every hour.
This is simple…decide what time works for you and answer the phone then, ignore the rest. Tell him what your doing and stick to it .
He’s controlling you thru her, tell him let’s setup a time for him to talk to her than maybe you can plan on washing dishes, etc, while she talks
I think you guys need to set up a time for him to talk like early morning or before bed or something that works for both of you.
Try to set a schedule that works for you both that’s all you really can do.
Tell him a time or times he can ring, stick to your decision. Other times don’t answer. You are not being mean, just practical.
You should have a court order that says it all.
Give him 1/2 hr call in the morning at a decent time and 1/2 hr before bed to say goodnight then move on with your day. She is 2 and he needs to be realistic.
Time to buy an inexpensive tablet for video calls. Most 2 year olds can answer a call once shown.
I think the effort it wonderful but yeah it’s too much. Maybe once in the morning and once before bed
If it’s within your budget get a little cheap phone and let him call her on that 
6 Likes
Does he actually see her on his weekends?
I would give him a time frame you can call for 1 hour between 6-7pm and that is it.
1x a day or every second day. Not every hour.
Sounds more like he’s trying to inconvenience the Mother.
1 Like
At least he is staying in contact alot of dad’s dont
3 Likes
I would say twice a day moring and night
2 Likes
if youre not available, then dont answer his calls… simple as that!
1 Like
Id give him a set time once a day that would do my head in does he not work
A good morning call and a good night call is more than enough.
At least he’s stepping up wanting to be involved in all aspects of her day and life. Every hour is a bit much but you just need to talk to him about it. Set a schedule that works for everyone
Once a day is sufficient.
Once a day at bed time is plenty.
If it’s my baby’s father do that I would be happy, But he didn’t, connection is important… just be thankful he’s trying to communicate with ur baby, just be happy, because that’s what I’m wishing for my son’s father to do it but he didn’t. Just be thankful.
once in the morning and before bed
be thankful he wants to be involved with his daughter but i also see what you mean…tell him straight you need time on your own with your daughter, you can’t drop everything for him either. put your foot down on it before it ruins your life
Are you kidding me? This has got to be a joke.
Be happy he cares. If he didn’t call, than you would have an issue with that.
3 Likes
Go to court and have something set up to where you can have a schedule time for him to be able to call and talk to his child, that way it will not be like it is now. You may not want to do it through court but atleast it will be on paper and on the record. Calling every hour is way too much. I get that she’s his child as well but he shouldn’t be calling every hour
1 Like
Are you serious? You have the child all the time. Is it excessive for you to talk to her all day? No.
1 Like
Use an old phone/tablet. Download WhatsApp, messenger etc and teach her how to answer the calls.
7 Likes
That’s definitely excessive
4 Likes
Sorry…sounds like he just wants to talk to you & uses her as an excuse
2 Likes
I’d probably cuss his ass out. That is TOO much. Lmao. Grocery shopping? Call. Intimacy with my dude? Call. Cooking? Call. Running errands? Call. Like NOPE! Call every morning and every night. That’s it. Like dang get a hobby dude.
Wow all of you lot saying lucky he calls and blah blah blah sound bitter as hell and making her feel like she must pick up the phone every hour . If this was another situation and was a woman had met a guy and he was calling every hour everyone would probably be calling him a psycho it’s too much no one is disputing the fact that it’s nice that he calls but come on every hour is excessive to speak to a two year old I doubt much would have changed from the last hour he spoke to her.
If he isn’t under the influence, then Dont bitch about it! Let your daughter hear his voice every day! An hr on the phone compared to the 24 hrs you get with her.
1 Like
I am shocked at all of these comments that basically downplay your concerns.
OBVIOUSLY you must be happy that he loves his daughter so much and wants to talk to her so often.
OBVIOUSLY it makes you luckier as a mom than those who have fathers who don’t give a shit.
OBVIOUSLY you are asking sincerely for some guidance in figuring out the situation.
Ignore the crappy comments here. This forum is what these sorts of questions are for.
Yes, I think it’s great that he wants to stay in touch with his daughter.
In my opinion, he’s also trying to control you and make you uncomfortable . You must set some boundaries.
I hope that he is able to see his daughter whenever he can. I hope that the reason he is doing this is because he misses her.
Still doesn’t sound quite right.
You did not mention whether you and he get along and agree on certain issues. I think you need to dig a bit deeper. And I guarantee you it is not necessary for him to talk to her every couple of hours every single day.
Would he honestly do that if she was in daycare? Would he honestly do that if the two of you were still together and he was working?
Dig deeper. Give him abundant access. Grow together as parents for her. 
2 Likes
He tryna keep tabs on you. Cus that’s to damn much!
That is a question for a counselor, some of the answers here are biased. No one knows what you’re going through or him. Is never easy, also is taking a toll on you. I feel that a happy medium can be reached, for me it is too much. And if it was me who was calling, I should understand that my former partner has a life and I can wait for my scheduled time. I’m an adult, not a child. I’ll miss her to death but I can wait. You have a life and also you have the kid 24/7 he has it easier, maybe that why he has so much time in his hands. If he was you, he’ll probably said that is too much already. Once an hour all day is crazy. 
3 Likes
I’m getting the feeling that this is being done to mess up and put choas in your life. Yes he talks to her. I think there needs to be more control on your end. Maybe he can call at a set time each day. Or once or twice a week. Put you foot down on this and take control.
3 Likes
It is excessive but try to be as nice as possible to him about it.
1 Like
Tell him to get her one of those phones so he can talk to her as much as he likes, and it doesn’t interfere with your day. Or get a house phone he can call… of all the BD issues you can have, this isn’t one of them. As long as he’s not harassing or the calls become toxic, she should be able to talk to her dad as much as they both choose to.
3 Likes
I dont want to be nasty, but be thankful he is there and interested. I wish my ex will do the effort. As long as there is a good bond and relationship let it be. Maybe set up times during the day that he can call that will suite all 3 of you . Believe me children misses the other spouse if divorced. All the best momma.
3 Likes
My narcissist ex would do this too under the guise of wanting to make sure we were okay. It’s excessive and definitely manipulation. I tried having conversations about it with him and put boundaries in place, all of which he consistently crossed. He used our child to get to me and make sure I wasn’t moving on even though he abandoned us. Don’t fall for this.
11 Likes
I’m so sorry for some of the hateful responses that you’ve received on this post. No you absolutely do not have to be grateful that he calls you 24 times a day, don’t listen to these crazies! Once every hour seems like harassment and I’d be keeping a close eye on my daughter to make sure it also isn’t affecting her in a negative way. I’m sure you’re grateful that you have a present baby father however I understand your frustration with the phone calls. Please seek professional help if he continues to call after you’ve set boundaries and limits on the phone calls. Also for all of you saying “be grateful” every hour is entirely to much and its probably getting in the way of their bonding time being that they’re constantly being interrupted.
21 Likes
Be thankful that he wants to keep in contact with her, a lot of parents don’t .
3 Likes
Oh my word for everyone bashing her every hour is very excessive! I know he probably misses her and yes he has every right to speak to his daughter but every hour every day all day that goes beyond missing this woman has also got a life and she shouldn’t have to drop everything all the time all day for him jeez that’s like borderline harassment. Tell him that he can call once in the morning once in the afternoon and once in the evening I still feel it’s to much but it’s better then what’s happening now he is being ridiculous she is just 2 years old she can’t even have a proper conversation yet it’s also not fair on her.
16 Likes
Sounds when my baby daddy used to do this TO BE NOSEY AND SEE WHAT I WAS DOING AND WHO I WAS WITH… YES MAKE A SCHEDULE. HE DOES HAVE A RIGHT. BUT EVERY HOUR? NO. These ppl saying u should basically appreciate him contacting her or being around, no. He can love that child and still be on a schedule like the court would issue regardless. And if there is no court order. Girl start now. You’ll regret it later on.
15 Likes
No one in here knows your situation. Yes it’s his child just as much as it is yours, but if you are split up there needs to be an agreement between the both of you, visitation and that agreement should include phone calls when your daughter is with the other. If you and dad have a somewhat civil co parent relationship, maybe try nicely explaining that you understand he misses and wants to talk to his daughter but you have a life too, and hopefully you both can come to an agreement on when phone calls can be? If you guys can’t come to an agreement then it can be added into your parenting plan (if you have one. Again I don’t know your business this is just what I did)
Good luck!
Once a day is plenty
1 Like
Why does he call so much opposed to physically picking her up to spend time with her? Also, just because your phone rings doesn’t mean you have to answer if he speaks to her let’s say in the morning don’t answer until 2pm for the next call. Unfortunately, if you don’t live with your child you don’t have as much access to them and that’s just the reality of it.
In my court papers it says minimum of 2 days a week and maximum of 4 days. Not to disrupt child’s time with either parent.
1 Like
There’s a ton of bitter mommy’s here telling you that you need to be grateful that he calls at all. Do not listen to these people. This man is not doing this because he wants to talk to his daughter. He’s doing it because he wants to make sure there’s no one there with you. Put him on speaker phone and pay attention to the questions he asks, soon enough you’ll get it. This has nothing to do with his daughter and everything to do with you. Don’t let these people guilt trip you into believing otherwise just because their guys bailed on them completely. This is manipulation at its finest. When he finds a new girlfriend it’ll stop and then it’ll start again every time they have a fight or break up. He’s using her to get to you. Please trust me on this one. Stop taking his calls every hour. Because she is a toddler, 3x a day should be just enough to keep her in good spirits. I absolutely would not let it go any further than that. He will get angry and start reaching out to you instead of her. He will make threats, and so on. Rise above it mama.
36 Likes
Give him specific times to call maybe like 2 or 3 times a day.
1 Like
My kids call my ex once a day when with me and typically once a day with him. It’s in our court orders that is isnt excessive.
Set up daily phone times
Obviously it’s affecting your day. Its way too excessive. Does he not have a life either? I would cut it down to 3 times a day at most and to me, that’s even too much.
1 Like
Don’t answer the phone 
. You’ve got shit to do and don’t have time. Put it on silent. Out of sight out of mind 
.
Once a day contact for no more then 30 mins is very typical in court orders.
1 Like