How was your relationship when you were with him, was he controlling? How is she supposed to eat, play, and take a nap if he’s monopolizing all her time? That baby can barely carry on a conversation let alone understand half of one. Yes, it’s good he wants to keep in contact but literally every hour all day is crazy. I agree with everyone who says talk to him and set up a schedule. Do have the phone on speaker to hear what he’s saying to her? Does she seem like she is interested in talking or does she just focus on playing and ignores him. How is her behavior?
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Every hour is a bit much…It’s not your job to sit around waiting for your phone to ring.
This sounds extremely controlling and manipulative. Once a day would be enough, I would be having that conversation with him.
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Not acceptable. He’s making it impossible for you or your kid to do anything with multiple calls. I suggest you set a time that works with your toddlers schedule and request he only calls then. If he doesn’t respect your time and calls multiple times, only answer at the set time. Does he become angry of you miss a call?
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Anymore then once a day is excessive in my opinion. Like unless the first call gets cut short for whatever reason he doesn’t need to call anymore then that. I mean what’s he gonna do if you get a job? He def couldn’t call that often then. Just put your foot down and tell him he needs to stop. There will no longer be that many calls. If he does call every hour on the hour anyway ignore him till your ready to hand her the phone. It is going to end up affecting your daughter and not necessarily in a good way. She will become expectant of his calls and when she doesn’t get them it’s going to be a nasty ball game. Why does he call and not visit anyway? If he’s seeing her regularly there’s also definitely no reason for this behavior. Even if he’s not. It needs to stop. If he refuses then block his number till he learns his lesson. It’s called boundaries and he’s technically harassing you when you tell him it needs to stop and he refuses. It’s not really important that he calls to talk to her the calls themselves are too much. What does he do for a living anyway that he can call every hour on the hour??? Those of you saying she should be grateful he’s “invested” are being ridiculous. Do NOT tell me you’d be overjoyed to have anyone call every hour on the hour even if it was for your child. Don’t let anyone guilt trip you darling. Once a day is plenty enough I promise you.
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Set boundaries! Let him call her once or twice a day, but that’s it. Glad he cares, but that’s manipulation. He could speak with her first thing in the morning and again before she goes to bed, but turn off the phone in between.
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Tell him you won’t be answering more than once a day and silence his # after you answer him for 24 hours. He is trying to find out about you, not the child.
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My exhusband and I split with my child were 16 months and 4 years old. Once a day phone calls would have been totally acceptable. More than that…would have been controlling and disrupting.
I have been in this situation before and I told my ex that I have our child on a set routine and gave him 2 time frames a day that he could call that way he wouldn’t interrupt nap times and the things that I have planned for us that day. So like set up on in the morning either before or after breakfast and then another before or after bath time but about 20 minutes before bed time. My times were
6am to 8am he could call and then again between 630pm and 8pm it worked and if he called before or after those times I would send a text that said busy call later after a week he got the hint
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Maybe he’s going through something and him talking with his child often is what’s helping him cope. I understand it can be frustrating for you but at least you have a baby dad who is actively trying to be a part of his child’s life. So many kids do not have that. Maybe you should talk to him and find out what’s going on or make a schedule of times during the day that he can call. Like a good morning call, a late afternoon call and a goodnight/ bedtime call. Best of luck!
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Calling every hour is definitely ridiculous. I can’t believe people are actually defending this. Wow.
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Answer him the first time then he won’t have to blow you up all day,
As annoyed as you are he’s probably just as annoyed cause you do t have the decency to pick up the first time, let the man talk to his kid as much as he wants, it’s ain’t about you anymore or you day to day schedule
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Lucky he actually talks to his kid. Mine only talked to mine when he wanted me back. My kids are 16,8 and 4 and my ex husband takes them for a few hours once a week or every other week. Hardly ever calls them. Havent heard from him since saturday of last week when he saw them for 4 whole hours. I’d just tell him chill. The kid is 2 call morning and before bed.
What’s his motivation, if it’s to annoy you or is he really obsessed with talking to your toddler? Neither is appropriate, his actions aren’t normal
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I think.this could be his way to control you. If you have to be available to answer and give the phone to your 2 year old who you said can’t really carry on a conversation he knows somewhat that you if you doing things or where your at when you answer. I would definitely set up boundaries for yours and your child’s sake.
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Once a day for 30 mins and the time is set for after dinner, anytime after 6 p.m., therefore it doesn’t upset our day.
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Try setting times for him to call her
I agree - you need to set times so yours & your toddlers routines/schedules aren’t disrupted as much. I think it’s great that he wants to stay in touch with your child but no offence how much does said toddler understand the conversation? I can see when she’s older but now it’s just ridiculous.
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It is a bit much but at least he cares unlike most father’s he really must be missing her maybe 3 times a day once in the morning once in the afternoon and once before bed 
I had this problem. My 5 year olds dad wanted to call all the time. One time I told him we were busy and he got smart with me. I told him I didnt have to drop what i was doing so he could talk to her when it was my week with her (50/50 custody, only his mom has her instead of him during his weeks) so he bought her her own phone so he could call her instead of me. She still dont answer 
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For a toddler 3 times a week for 5-10 minutes each time is fine. A 2 year old isn’t going to have much to say.
Put yourself in his shoes
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Twice a day is plenty
A morning and night time call is all you should be answering. Tell him that and that you won’t be answering his calls other than at those times
He misses his daughter. I get it. But you can’t answer every hour. On the hour. I agree that a morning and night time call is good. Just communicate that with him.
Way too much I’d give him a time frame he can call
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Would you want to be set on a time limit and a schedule to talk to YOUR daughter? If not then let him talk to his kid and stop complaining.
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Don’t answer. That’s ridiculous
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But yet if he wasn’t contacting her you would still be complaining 
. Be lucky he actually cares, alot of kids ain’t as fortunate.
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Depends on why he is doing it. If he wants to be a part of his child’s life then it would be crazy to tell him to stop. He has the right and your child needs him.
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If you can talk to her all day, so can he. Don’t want him calling your phone? Get her a device he can use to talk to her how ever often he wants.
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And when you set said schedule, don’t answer any call out of that time frame.
Don’t be a b!# min for min but if the time is 6pm/7pm /whatever , stick to that.!
He will soon and very soon get the idea and point that you are not going to answer outside of the designated time.
If you even once answer it out of that time frame he’s back to calling whenever.
MAKE him obey…
Off of your actions and nonactions.
Actions would be to answer during the time frame.
Non-actions would be to not answer during ANY other time set outside of the time frame. PERIOD:bangbang:
Even once and it messes up what you are trying to set in place.
Be strong. Turn that b on silent, do not disturb, hell even block the number all day until that time agreed upon.
When you block someone from calling (they can’t tell they’re blocked. Rings normal on their end while not even bothering you on your end)
Do this, seriously.
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You don’t. You let him talk to his kid. Set her up with a tablet or something maybe so he can video chat her off of there. Theres a bunch of tablets that are kid friendly and have parental controls.
Let dads be dads. You would get mad as all hell if the roles were reversed and he said you needed to stop calling so much for your child.
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All this “once a day” shit is bs too. 24hrs in a day and y’all are saying to let this father talk to his child once a day? Lol man I can’t.
Depends on what your doing if you honestly have the time let if if not than don’t
We have scheduled times and days maybe try that might need to be done in court
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You control your phone. Discuss with him that from now on you will only answer your phone calls with him 3 times a day, 9 a.m., 1 p.m. & 7 p.m. (or whatever times work for you and baby girl).
Does it make some of you feel better about yourself to constantly bash people on here ? All so negative !! I’m sure she is grateful that her dad is involved in her life . That doesn’t mean she has to answer his call every hour and for the ones saying get her a tablet or whatever to communicate on her own . She is 2!! She could talk to him about it . And maybe switch it to a few times a day . It’s called boundaries
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Loaded question. He should be able to have open access to his child but it shouldn’t be so frequently that it interrupt your activities of daily living/work every hour. There’s something called prudent and reasonable judgment and he’s not using it. The child is two and not seven. There has to be some respect for your life and your boundaries.
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How do you stop him from being a good father?? That is what your asking?? 
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Yeah I definitely think that’s a little obsessive. Depending on her age maybe get her a prepaid phone call only type of cell phone?
Every hours WAY TO MUCH tell him straight look you get to speak to her for an hour on set days of the week and certain times breach this even once we are done
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He’s doing it to control you. He’s not talking to you but he is making you stop doing what you’re doing. That’s got to be unnerving. Give him a set time to call her once a day. Maybe before bed so you know you’re home. Tell him other calls will not be answered. Follow through. If it continues to be a problem you may want to get a cheap phone without service. Give him the text now number for that phone. Only turn it on 5 minutes before his designated call time. Change your primary number. That way he’s not constantly disturbing you & has a way to contact his child.
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wow!!!boundaries are desperately needed.you need to have a serious talk with him asap!!!my daughter is 23 and her son(my 3yr old grandson stays with me)and she barely asks about him but his 5 yr old sister is non stop when my daughter knows shes here(she lives with their dads parents) she even got her daughter an iphone to communicate and demanded to text n facetime n call her at any time of the day lol umm…no…not happening i told her.it causes disruptions…pisses her off(my daughter) but it is the way it has to be😁good luck
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Some of yall sound 100% GOOFY.
He needs boundaries…
That is an excessive amount of calls…
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Be glad he wants to be part of her life. Lots of kids don’t get that
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Healthy Boundaries need to be set. A Morning, afternoon and evening call would be reasonable given the child is 2 and I’m sure he also has parenting time one on one with the child. Mom, how would Dad feel and react if during his parenting time you called the amount of times he calls her during your parenting time? As she gets older, this may change and then you’d consider her own device. Maybe Dad doesn’t realize this and an simple conversation may make this easier for Both parents. No judgment.
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Tell him he can duo or FaceTime her as well
He’s simply interrupting your time with the child so he can manipulate and control the situation. Trying to make sure the child’s focus is on him and not enjoying allotted time with you. When the child goes to visit dad call every hour and see how he likes it.
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Set some boundaries for starters. That is the healthy way to cope for all of you involved. You know when dads calling, dad knows when to call and eventually little will know when to expect his calls. Let him pick the two times to call his daughter so he feels like he’s in control - which by the sound of it is what he is wanting anyways.
And for all the “let him talk to his daughter as much as he wants” gang… if y’all could all post your phone numbers or even private message them, I’ll start calling once a hour and if you don’t answer, clearly you’re making it about you and not me 
“stop making it about you, and think of the child” such jokesters these days.
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This is a form of control with your time. I’m sure he’s also able to find out where you are…and what you’re up to within that call. I’d make a set time for sure… but YOU pick when is convenient for you and let him adjust his schedule… see then if these conversations continue to last 2 hours when he’s not in control of them. I’m guessing they don’t.
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I totally understand where you’re coming from, but that’s very sweet that he is so involved.
Maybe give him certain times of day when you’re free.
Text him saying
“Hey call around 3 after nap today” so your on the same page
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Schedule times to call. 2-2:30, 6-6:30 etc.
This is a control thing.
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I get that it’s probably overwhelming to stop what you’re doing every time he calls, and honestly it would frustrate the heck outta me, but the issue isn’t him talking to her so frequently it’s the interruption into YOUR schedule. I’m guessing you’re a stay at home mommy, so he’s assuming you have time to cater to this hour on the hour calling, since if you worked outside the home this wouldn’t be possible. You’re going to have to find a way to compromise, find a middle ground. Maybe he talks to her after her breakfast, after lunchtime or after nap time, and before bed and he reads her a bedtime story. Maybe he picks her up a few days a week and goes to the park for a bit, or go have a picnic lunch. Establish a routine that works for you both to allow him quality time with the little. The important part is that you HAVE to recognize that him spending time with her is as important as your time with her and not to belittle that. Think about “if the roles were reversed” how would you want to be treated in this same situation? And remember that at the end of the day it’s not about you, it’s not about him, it’s about both you being involved in the day to day of your little ones life.
Keep in mind if you have a talk with him if you come at him with attitude or aggression he’s going to get defensive and won’t listen to anything you say so try to have patience and compassion for the situation or it’s not gonna turn out well. Good luck!!!
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Set boundaries. Like, he can call her everyday, but only after dinner, or before bed, you set a time that works for all of you. If your daughter wants to call him whenever SHE wants, you can help with that.
Personally I think it’s great that he wants to be there for his child as often as he can, but I agree that sometimes too much is too much.
Make a schedule where he calls in the morning, afternoon and before bedtime. That’s over stepping and sounds like he may not trust u with ur daughter cause he wants to know every little detail
Oh girl heck no! Once a day is enough! She is two years old she doesn’t have that much to say anyways. I’d say around bedtime and you need to tell him straight up. It is my phone not hers and don’t call until this time and if you continue this behavior then I’ll block your number until I say so! You need to pull those claws out and set the boundaries otherwise there is Chaos.
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Sounds like he’s being obnoxious on purpose but wearing the facade of good dad. He’s an adult too, he should be able to understand from a parenting prospective that you can’t stop every hour like that to run a household when you have a child.
Set up boundaries now. And go to court if needed.
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Communicate with him
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Maybe try to get it in a court order… call times along with visitation. That way if he continues you can file a do not harass order. You can also talk to your local domestic violence center if you have one. They’re a great resource
I’d just give him a time when he can call her each day which is good for you x
Mine was doing this and turning into a huge bully
we tried to placate him by saying at 8:00 every day the kids would call.
Then he was questioning them about my personal life.
If we were 5 minutes late because of an activity even if he knew it he would still start calling on repeat angrily and leaving nasty messages
I refused to answer and the nastiness moved from me to my son
I finally ended it when he was calling my 10-year-old son at 11:30 p.m. and WAKING HIM UP telling him to go into my bedroom and see if there was anyone else in there - WAKING ME UP - having my son hold out the phone to me and say “dad wants to know why you won’t answer his calls”
Done.
Now I do make sure that my son calls him or texts him a couple of times a week. but if he starts the repetitive, angry, ~you better answer me immediately~ craziness, I just let him know that I’ve told his son that his dad would like a phone call and if my son feels up to it, he will call him back.
This is about power and control.
Also, it can be put in a custody agreement dates and times for regular phone calls.
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Is this really a question.
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That is definitely too much. Give him a time that he can call each day, or say from 2-4.
How does he have time to call every hour ?
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Set up a time for him to call. Realistically 2 year olds don’t talk for hours on end. It should be a meaningful conversation during a certain time frame. If you were to go through court that’s normally how they do it.
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It will fade. Trust me. Soon enough it will be once every 2 days.
In the meantime, answer the phone a few times a day for him to talk to her. Morning, lunch, dinner and bedtime. The rest of the time, just don’t answer.
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Hes checking up on you and where you are etc…control
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No its not too much be thankful he loves his daughter and as she gets older she will learn herself. I get its inconvenient for you but imagine how inconvenient it is for your daughter to have to sit and talk to dad on the phone instead of in person. Now please don’t take that as me bashing.you or being rude.in anyway because that is not my intentions at all. But to your daughter she doesn’t know or understand why you two aren’t together you know? Maybe figure out a schedule for him to call x amount of times a day and when will work best for you.
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Add it into your court order agreement. My sons dad gets to call him/FaceTime every other day
I wish my sons dad wanted something to do with him. Be grateful
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Even if you were still together he wouldn’t be talking to her every hour. My sons dad has called him daily for the last three years, but if we are doing something, I do not answer. I send a quick text saying that our son will call back around ___time. You need to set boundaries. He will get mad and throw a tantrum, but hes not allowed to control your life.
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Wow, some of you guys are bitter. Just set times for 2-4 times a day where he can call and video chat. Atleast he wants to be active in her daily life. And as you said, he doesnt talk to you much, so its obvious it’s not to pester you, he just wants to talk to his child. You’re a good momma for allowing it, dont let the other mommas make it out to be bad. Yes it may be pestering but forreal be thankful. There are alot of mommas out there who wont even let children’s dads visit or call, and there are dads out there that dont even try to contact their kids, so you both are doing good by allowing each other to be active. Just communicate is all, set times, no need to go to court and file “harrassment” charges and stuff smh, that’s too much.
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Give him a set time to b calling and set ground rules that he isn’t going to b calling every hour or so. Tell him he is only aloud to call so many times a day
Our court order says “reasonable contact”… meaning not to be a nuisance and interfere with every day life.
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Just try to talk to him about calling maybe just a few times a day, I don’t know how long you guys have been split but if it was recent he probably just misses her and feels alone rn. If it was opposite and he had her all the time you’d want to talk to her all the time too. Just try to put up some more boundaries, but be understanding about it.
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It’s crazy to me how many women on here are saying once a day or every other day. Imagine if you were only able to talk to your kids on that kind of time schedule! You would flip your shit. Y’all sound selfish. He obviously misses her. Poor guy.
You have the option of answering the call, so, if you answer you’re allowing the “disruption”, but you’re also doing it for the sake of their relationship which is absolutely great! On the flip side, I think it’s absurd some are saying “ tell him when he’s allowed to call and rules”. Let’s not forget that there are men not willing to be in their kids lives, so don’t ruin the ones who are. In turn, ask yourself, and put yourself in their shoes for a second. Would you find it feasible to be told when you could or could not talk to your child? Or, when you could or could not see the child? Look, there are many circumstances for a divorce or separation where kids are involved, but let’s not forget you loved/liked them enough to create this beautiful little human, while you may not love your ex, love your child more, in ensuring the involvement is there. Over all, the relationship is for the parent & child, and no one else.
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Phone will never take the place of a hug. Even at that age she may not understand and know why she gets to use the phone.
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By reading the comments you can really see how many women have not been in controlling or abusive relationship. I will say that absolutely amazing news but I will say this most of you have absolutely no clue of the red flags that leads to abuse. This man is waving red flags right in her face. This is a control tactic. I would highly suggest going back to court before this escalates.
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I’m sure he just misses her. I would limit it to 3 times a day. Morning, afternoon, and before bed. But it is a beautiful thing that they have that relationship. If you take it away your only hurting your daughter. Also try to have her video chat. The seeing her well might make him stop calling so much. But it won’t stop. That’s his baby too. My parents divorced when I was 14. And my dad has called me every day since. I’m almost 35. 
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Ask him to please limit his calls to once or twice a day at max. If he doesn’t then only answer it once a day. It’s not against him it’s just realistic.
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Best case scenario, he’s a good dad that just needs some boundaries.
Was the split amicable?. If not, He’s trying to talk to you/mess with your day.
Get one of those Amazon portals, or a kid tablet to FaceTime. She will learn how to answer pretty quickly.
If he doesn’t call that, then he’s not calling for her.
That way they can be connected, but you aren’t in the loop.
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Legally, at least here, a parent is permitted to call once a day. Any more is up to the custodial parent.
A child is permitted to call as often as they want.
I would suggest relaying this information to him then setting up maybe 3 blocks of time a day for him to call. Maybe mid morning, mid afternoon, and bedtime.
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Be grateful he wants too
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Start by talking to your ex… Allow him talk to her sometime in the morning and at night before bed time. If he isn’t good with this then reject his calls. Good luck and God bless.
That’s obsessive and we were told that by a judge when they ordered 3 video chats a week. My wife’s ex calling like that was more to see what we were doing and where we were at than it was about communicating with our child mostly because our kid wasn’t talking the majority of the time. I used to literally get 16 calls a day for no literal reason. I want to know what the hell he’s doing that he can call his kid every hour. If he’s got that much free time why isn’t he bugging you about just having more time with her??? Because it’s not about her. It’s about control. That being said if it’s not and he just wants more time with his kid than make a reasonable schedule and tell him that’s what y’all are doing. Sadly everyone’s time gets cut in a break up but if he’s calling because I wants to see her just work out a plan where he gets her more in person
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If I was you I let him come over all meet up with him at park . Sound like a good dad . Phone call is good but have that time with him is more better . I give ever think if my father call me as kid miss him so much big thing I hat was not see him . Now I am mum I try my best to have lunch with my dad .
Even when I was away from my son for a week out of state and he was with my mom and aunt…I called him once a day in the evening and talked to him for 30 min or so. All day is a little excessive.
I’m glad he loves his daughter, but every hour of every day is excessive no matter how you slice it. It has nothing to do with being bitter, or ungrateful, or trying to keep her from her dad. If you are on cordial terms with him, try to agree upon some regular calling hours like once in the morning and once before bedtime. Maybe in the middle of the day sometimes. If you all can’t come to an agreement and or he continues to call excessively, then don’t feel obligated to answer the phone and just have your daughter call him back later. That said, be prepared to accept the same when she is visiting with him.
Oh, and save your phone records in case you have to prove how often he calls.
Who limits a child talking to their father
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Duo, any phone or tablet can have it or if he has an iPhone get her a ipod touch or iPad so they can face time. Set up times like 30mins after she gets up have them face time. Let her FaceTime while she’s eating lunch or right after she’s done. Then you can decide if you want her to FaceTime while you’re getting her dinner together or have him read her a short story at bed time or both! The older she gets the more you can stay out of it and let her decide when she answers or calls him but right now she’s at that age where she dose need to talk or see him multiple times a day if possible. That way she can build a connection with him. If the split wasn’t nasty he might just be scared she will forget about him since he doesn’t get to see her every day like he use to before the split. If it was a nasty one and he’s just trying to bug you more the reason for boundaries. If it’s not that then let her speak to him few times a day. It’s good for her even tho it’s a inconvenience. Every hour is out of control tho. FaceTime or phone call 3 to 4 times a day isn’t bad. I’m sure they won’t last longer then 5mins. If it wasn’t a ugly split maybe consider him coming by or meeting up with you at the park every other day. Something that works with your routine. Something short like 15 to 30mins. That way he can hold her and love on her. But make it clear that if you choose to do that, he can only call once a day at bed time to say good night.
Once a day is cool, or maybe twice. But that’s a little much to be revolving around a phone. I’d set a morning and evening call on the books and leave it at that.
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Reasonable contact. We had to get this clarified in court. Reasonable was one phone call a day.
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Set up a schedule for phone calls so he knows you can and will answer and you can plan your routine around the phone calls. Once an hour is a lot. Maybe try to do 3 max one in the morning, afternoon, and before bed. Sounds like he just loves his kid and misses her though!
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Omg. Some of you people really can’t see how controlling this is?
She clearly states she’s not trying to keep her away from him.
To the OP yes it’s too much. Set some boundaries. It’s better for her and for you to have a schedule to talk to him. I guarantee if he had her he wouldn’t appreciate you calling every hour
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That sounds o c d to me. A brief good morning call and one to say good night should be plenty.
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Imagine if he had her and you just wanted to hear her voice so you call. Be grateful he wants anything to do with her.
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I would tell him that the calls are cutting into your every day things, and sometimes you need your phone while he calls. So tell him once or twice a day, maybe once in the morning and once maybe before bed or in the evening. Explain that your intention isn’t to have him not talk to her, but for it to be reasonable because you can’t await his call every single hour. After you tell him this, also explain that you won’t answer the phone when you have things to do. 
Him calling like that is definitely excessive. You can be completely happy that he wants to be apart of your daughters life but also irritated that his behavior is affecting your life and day to day things.
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My sons dad talks to him once a day on the phone
This sounds awful. Please don’t listen to those that say you should be grateful. This is absolutely ridiculous. On what planet would anyone expect a person to be ok with someone calling a toddler every hour during the day?
You are not wrong . This behaviour is intrusive and controlling.
I would tell him that you both need to agree on set times he can call. Whether it be a call in the morning and at night or whatever, but it needs to work for everyone.
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Once a day/twice tops is fair, I think. On a schedule. It depends on the situation.
I hate phone calls because my exhusband would promise all these things and then not deliver or rarely actually see her. Then I had to deal with the fallout. Plus asking all the time when she was going to see her dad. So I limited them to once a week until he made time to see her on a regular basis.