In Texas, we have “reasonable hours,” when parents are separated, have 50/50, or one parent has full custody. These hours, at least in some Dallas cases, are 10 am to 8 pm. Anything after 8 pm unless it’s an emergency is obsessive contact. He needs to understand that you also have to work, take care of your child, and do housework. 2-3 times a day is okay or even when she first wakes up and is getting ready for bed.
There’s not enough information. Is it actually hourly or does it feel like it’s that often? Does he have visitation rights? Any custody rights whatsoever? Has he talked about getting her own phone and/or tablet set up for them to talk? More information is definitely needed and to be given by both parties to see what is true and who’s being controlling.
All day is excessive. I can see twice a day. Once in morning & once at night.
Going through something like this …block him if he can’t understand.
Get a tablet for her and set it up with messenger for kids. That way, he can call or FaceTime her whenever he wants without disrupting you. All you’d need to do is make sure it’s charged and has internet.
I grew up without having a dad. He would go months/years without contacting me. I would have loved a phone call. But hourly is a bit excessive.
If he wants to talk to her that often, maybe he would be willing to go in half on the cost for her a nice tablet.
People bitch when the dad is not involved and then they bitch when they are involved. I feel sorry for dads sometimes, they get looked down on because they try and looked down on when they don’t try. Maybe he don’t see her enough and misses her and to fill that he calls her. Just think how us moms would feel if the dad took the kids and we had to wait to see our kids or just hear their voices.
2 or 3 times a day is enough. I get he misses his kid. But that’s too much dude. You have a life. When she’s older and has her own phone hell yeah. Do what you want. But this is beyond reasonable.
I hope yall got this same attitude if the roles are reversed. Keep this same energy
Honestly twice a day would be reasonable
He’s trying to control you, not necessarily talk to the toddler
I think he is a good day however i think its also fair to say maybe once in the morning right before naptime and once to say goodnight
Tell him to get knotted!
3 times a week is enough - maybe look at either getting her own cheap phone or tablet just for him to call her on. Then you can get on with your day to day stuff. Every hour is too much for anyone! That would drive me crazy and I wouldn’t answer
Tell him he can call once a day. My ex could call between 6 and 7pm after dinner and before bed routine. Granted he never called, but that was the agreement. He is calling you because he knows it gets to you. It is his way of keeping you under his control still as well. Nip it now and take control of your own life. You aren’t telling him he can’t call her, just a specific time and not all day.
So if he can agree to calling once in the morning and once at night. Set times for him to see her during the week. Maybe he is not seeing her enough and that’s why he’s wanting to call all the time
Ugh. This guy is doing this to annoy you. Not because he wants to talk to a toddler every hour. What an ass.
That is way too much. You need to set boundaries with him.
Tell him to buy her a cheap little phone with child restrictions on it. I wish my son heard his father’s voice one time, but he hasn’t
Get her her own phone.jk. does he not spend time with his daughter?
It’s great that he is involved in her life which needs to be encourage sit down an talk to him and arrange a plan that suits you both like once in the morning and once at night arrange a time and maybe a night during the week were he can take her to tea he is probably really missing her imagine if it was the other way around you would struggle dad’s are no different than mum’s when it comes to there children
Maybe its his way of keeping tabs on you
Stop answering if your out and about or busy. He’s being ridiculous and controlling your life!!!
I swear y’all complain about everything I would be happy if my bd called my son all the time.
If the roles were reversed? I’d be glad my ex doesn’t mind me calling to talk to my kid. How is it that I’ve been raped, attacked, strangled, cut, run over, and almost killed by men but can still empathize with dads but yall think men are the devil? Amazing really. Sounds like low EQ, or emotional intelligience. Kids need their dad, trying to make everything about you when the man is trying to support/be present for the kid is just lame and damaging to the kids mental psyche. Congrats on the first ACE. (Adverse childhood experience) you caused.
An hour a day to maintain a connection with his child. Why would he talk to you you sound hung up.
Yeah that’s too much. I feel like a few times a day maybe 2 or 3 whenever you’re free and then slowly bring it down to like once so the transition is easier. You can’t stop your day to day life either. Or get her a little amazon kids tablet and have him install one fo those kid friendly video chat apps or messenger kids and they can talk as often as he wants that way
I don’t think so, I would try make it same time everyday so you can plan around it. I wish my son’s father would make that kind of effort.
At 2 she needs her play time and nap time. When does she get it if he is calling once an hour? I would limit him to calling before bedtime to talk and say good night.
But if roles where reversed ? You would want to know all about your daughter and day if you couldn’t be there you would want to at least be able to talk to her as much as possible you should be thankful he is trying with her even if she’s too little to know he tries now imagine when she’s older u see a parent u can’t get easily rid off it a commitment you chose now let her have her dad in her life even if it’s through the phone
You should discuss setting up a schedule to talk to her because he is overdoing it
There is nothing like the heart break of not being in a childs life like you once were all of the sudden. I raised my step son since he was a baby and when me and his dad divorced it nearly killed me. So while I get that he probably feels like he’s missing so much of his child’s life and feels the threat of not being as important to them as he once was set some boundaries. I sympathize with you both.
Maybe ask if he will get her a tablet and give her kids messager so he can call on there and not your phone? And I agree making a schedule he is calling to much there should at least be like no call hours or something. Some men could care less, he loves his daughter that’s a good thing!
You’re with her many more hours of the day he just wants one. Be grateful you have a involved dad.
Uh yeah let him know to call between this time and that during the day - maybe say once in morning and before bed. Everyone else here is ridiculous.
I would do a set schedule.I dont know how your relationship is with your ex but keep in mind your child is the one who going to see and hear everything so staying civil and communicating and not fighting or playing games is important.Set boundries
Sounds kinda like controlling behavior. What happens if you don’t hand the phone over because your busy?
Only answer when you have time to talk. 1-2 a day is plenty, in my opinion.
He’s manipulating your whole day give him set times to call and if he calls not at a scheduled time let it ring. Don’t let him control you.
You mad over the child’s dad wanted to speak with her? Pathetic, women like you are the reason men can’t have relationships with their kids. It doesn’t matter if it’s cutting into “your time” it’s your child that really matters, be glad daddy wants to speak with her.
Controlling you through her
Yet you get to talk to her all day?
Never to much but maybe you can both agree on times so it’s the same everyday, have to praise him not many dads out there that do it now days
Have him call in the am and before bed. Yes it sucks after a break up but that’s just tooooo much. My daughter’s dad was the same way and sticks to the scheduled times now…
I wish my child’s dad was that way, we live in the same town and he hasn’t seen her in 3-4 years his choice not mine,
Don’t answer only allow her to talk to dad when she wakes up if she is asking for him and at night i personally feel he is doing it to check up on you he doesn’t talk to you but by being in the phone he knows if you are with someone else or out I feel his controlling but trying to not be obvious
How would you be if he had her? Just think about it. Be thankful she has a dad that loves her and wants to be in her life.
He’s controlling you and using your child. I’d allow 1 call per day, at a time convenient for you, and if that isn’t good enough for him, then I wouldn’t answer at all.
Instead of calling why doesn’t he just come pick her up? Have lunch at a certain time. Call to say goodnight. I swear she’ll look forward to it and remember who he is. He doing too much
Make a schedule to call between 4 and 6 every 2nd or 3rd day. If he doesn’t agree take him to mediation.
These people on here saying shit don’t work fulltime nor have a daily routine for their children and obviously haven’t being in the same situation
I’m sry but what are you complaining about exactly
Let him talk to her when ever up til bedtime be happy he’s in her life period
I would never limit my kids father from talking to her dad! Obviously if your hands are full and you can’t pick up the phone then just tell him “hey I’m going to be busy in the hour”… but not letting him talk to her when he wants to just because it’s an annoyance is selfish.
If it annoys you so much, let her go to her dads and they can talk all day ?
My ex husband and I have a set time to call when the kids are with each parent. Not allowed to call after 8 and try too before 730 (8 is bedtime) I usually try for 6pm.
Google duo.
Tablet.
Now he’s calling her directly!
My 2yo calls her dad quite often during the day, they talk about all kinds of stuff!
Once per day is sufficient. If my 4 year old asks for his dad we will occasionally call otherwise it’s just before bed each night. His dad doesn’t blow up my phone every hour and if he did I would find that excessive, but he also has the kids two days a week.
Its really hard to determine this without more information. I never knew my dad and that hurt. It wasn’t my mom’s fault tho.if they have 50 50 custody I think a scheduled time before bed would be sufficient.
If he only has every other weekend (like most men do) i think its fair he gets to talk to his kid. An hour a day isn’t that big of a deal.
(The post sounds like the father talks to the kid an hour a day. Comments make it sound like people believe he’s calling every hour which would be excessive).
If he’s calling every hour I would stop answering the phone.
I’d make a scedual a few times a day when the scedueul is no so full. like not the middle of lunch, in the middle of learnig time ect. Even a court will say a scedual will allow a good time to talk but stops a controlling ex partner from controling them or their time even after they leave.
Buy her an iPad or tablet so he can just FaceTime her on that or kids messenger. Then it’s not interfering with your personal phone.
No thats way to fkin much. I’d tell him he can call after breakfast and before bed. Put him on ignore between those times.
Maybe limit to 2 calls a day one before y’all start your day and in the evening before she goes to bed but give him the time each time
Way too much. He can call once or twice a day. Tell him what two times work for you. Just ignore the other calls.
Do neither of you work? That’s kind of scary … the poor girl is going to grow up thinking that she can’t survive without talking to daddy every hour, on the hour. She will eventually have to go to school, where she won’t be allowed to talk on the phone every hour, on the hour. That’s just kindof creepy, actually.
A table so he can call her. A few times a day and then she could call him as well when she wants.
Set boundaries…Twice/day, morning and night. Send him to vmail otherwise he will get the message
I have a two year old daughter too and the judge in my case said one 10 minute phone call with her dad every day at 6 PM. If she holds her attention longer, then they are allowed to talk longer but that’s it.
Make a schedule or have him message you first to see if you’re busy or if it’s okay to call. I mean on one hand it’s amazing he wants to be in her life & be there for her that much. On the other, he needs to realize that he can still talk to her but in moderation bc you have things to do also. Let him know your concerns & maybe try to agree on an arrangement for calls.
Be glad he wants a relationship with his child. My son is 23 years old, doesn’t know where his dad lives, hasn’t heard from him in 13 years and hasn’t seen him in 14 years. And I wasn’t a one night stand. We dated for 6 years and we were married 16 years. I can’t begin to even explain the damage he caused his son.
How often do you call when she is with him?
My daughters father calls & texts constantly. I have full sole custody but we share currently 50/50 time with her at the moment. I answer his texts and send photos daily but only FaceTime usually every other day at most.
I almost never face time her when she ie with him. Maybe a 3-4 times in the last year.
We were just ordered to use the My Family Wizard appt through the final court papers. This is to help to cut down on his inappropriate communication as he’s been called a bully by the court due to his amount of texting, FaceTiming and driving by my house taking photos. Log everything and let the court know. They will help you. I feel safer just knowing the court is aware of his behavior.
It kind of sounds like this might be a recent breakup and mom kept the kiddo, and dad is having a hard time adjusting to a quiet house while she’s gone. If this is the case, the calls will taper out as time goes on, but don’t take the phone calls away from them. I get that they’re annoying and if it’s been happening for a month or longer then I would set limits, but otherwise I would let him adjust how he can to be involved with her. Just my two cents, but obviously you’re entitled to your feelings
I think its amazing having a dad that wants to talk to their kid every hr, but that just me. Most kids dont have that luxury, so id allow it no matter how annoying it is to me, as long as my child is wanting to answer that call too…
Set a scheduled time for them to talk everyday.
Make a calling schedule. Something that works for you both. That is too much.
I would call my son every hour when he would go visit his dad but yet my son had his own phone
Just give him a certain time to ring when it suits you too fit into your schedule. And make it a routine. That makes you happy. For both off use.dont let him control you when it suits him. As along as he talks to her daily.that should certainly work out.
I mean maybe talk to him that your busy throughout the day and have set times he can call like before/after breakfast, before/after a nap, before/after dinner and then at bedtime
Have yah not been separated long? Maybe he just misses his child
It might seem annoying, but remember there’s kids out there who’s dads NEVER call.
Every hour is excessive. But it also seems odd that someone would have that time. I love my child to death and he’s my BFF but I need to work and live I couldn’t call every hour to check on him if we were apart.
I don’t think it’s fare to keep him away from his child. So many absent fathers I wouldn’t complain if B mine was trying to be there as long as he was talking to the child not me
He most likely is keeping tabs on YOU
He’s either intentionally being a nuisance “fuck her I’ll make her stop every hour” or lacking common courtesy “hmm yeaaa I’m gonna call again she’ll be fine I can talk to my daughter as much as I want, fuck her.” Orrrrr super depressed/lonely either way a conversation needs to be had. Maybe he can come see her more often. You’ll see which mindset he’s coming from after the conversation
Pick up the phone and hit the airplane mode button whenever you don’t want to talk. You’re not openly saying no so he can’t throw a fit and blame you
It is a form of manipulation. He wants to speak to you and hear your voice. He is sadly using the kid as the excuse.
Wow… get her a table he can face time her whenever and she can call him whenever… suggest him getting it for her
At least he is trying. Maybe let him know you’ll send pictures when you Can and if you don’t answer his phone call it’s just because your busy and will call him when you can so he can talk to his daughter
Once a day is what we do, every hour I would just be turning my phone off tbh.
Once a day, what he’s doing isn’t normal.
I’d set some boundaries. Twice a day seems sufficient. Times can be based off what works for your schedule. In my experience stopping your life for your coparent adds unnecessary stress to you, your child and your coparent relationship.
I think he should be able to talk to his kid whenever he wants he doesnt get to have his kid as much anymore so having as much contact as possible is great for them. Im Sorry its ab inconvenience for you but you get to have your daughter he gets to see her. Theres a difference.
If my kids lived with their dad id call to talk any chance i get. Dads miss out on a lot most of the time and with him not living in home with her this is his way of loving her and being there when he physically cant…
Maybe a few less calls but i think he should get to talk to his daughter whenever he wants. He loves her in sure as much as you.
Give him credit my kids dad lives with us and they dont wveb get a call through the day while he is gone.
I’d get her a tablet for calling purposes
It scares me how many people think this behaviour is ok. Yes it’s great that dad wants such a good relationship with his child but calling every hour to talk to a 2yr old. Its a form of control because he knows its eating into your life and things you need to do. My sons dad once told me his entire world revolved around our son he didn’t want friends, a job or a girlfriend because he wanted to focus every second on him. It’s unhealthy you need to set boundaries tell him he can ring once in the morning and once in the evening if you want to be kind but if it was me id give set times and tell him it is disrupting routines. Buy a cheap phone and sim give him that number then block him on your personal phone. If he continues to ring send a quick message to say you are currently busy and will contact when able then put the phone in a drawer and leave it. I think maybe look at mediation or speaking to someone to set clear boundaries to help everyone. God i couldn’t even find enough things to talk to my 9yr old son about during a day never mind a 2yr old. Good luck x
I felt the same way. Want to be in the child life so bad it trying to connect through a screen. That’s not how it works you should be here. I got things to do.
Unfortunately there’s really nothing you can say or do. If you tell him he’ll say you trying to keep him from each other. My two year old has a tablet and I installed google duo on it. I set her up a child email linked to my google email and linked my phone number. So he can call her on the tablet at anytime and I can keep doing what I’m doing. I can ignore the call from my phone if I want to. (Does he actually use duo, no! He just want to bother me all day long but will say he wanna talk to his daughter, yea right) but hopefully it work out better for you.
The tablet I got the Samsung tab a it was about 170. A case holder was about 20. And google duo is free.
That sounds like a control tactic more than anything- he must be aware that it stops you from getting on with your life.
You need to set a boundary and stick to it, discuss together to find a time of day that works for you both, maybe twice on days he’s not actually seeing her?
I’d try to get hold of a cheap tablet for them to call on as well - no one can get hold of you whilst your phone’s in use.
Instead of him calling so many times a day, why isnt he seeing her? Why not set up an evening time for him to see her each day or whatever fits ur schedule so she can have more contact with her dad. Phone calls arent the same as physical appearance. Let him tuck her in at night before bed or something. Or let him get her when he gets off work for 2 hrs everyday. That way in the meantime u can do whatever u need to do. And limit phone calls to 1 time a day if he cant swing by to see her everyday. He obviously loves his child. Also get her a tablet for them to have contact with each other. At least he is wanting to be in ur childs life.
I can’t get over how so many women (who loved these men enough to make children with them) think dads are second class citizens!!! That’s is HIS baby too! He doesn’t live in the house to get to see her every day like you do so what’s the problem with calling? If it’s because it’s your phone get her a cheap one and let him blow that shit up!! Let her talk to him every chance she can!!!
There isn’t any way I would allow that… Sorry …He’s either keeping tabs on you or he’s trying to be a pain in the butt… I would tell him 2 calls (or however many you think are reasonable) was all and then I wouldn’t answer the phone…… No way he would interrupt my day like that… Nothing wrong with healthy boundaries
How much conversation can you get out of a 2 year old though?
Its to much. I don’t know him personally, but it sounds like he is using the situation to make things harder for you. He knows what he’s doing.
We had set up a schedule because he would either call all day or not at all. Healthy boundaries for all!! He was able to call between certain hours until she was old enough to actually know he was calling and have somewhat of a conversation. When she started to get old enough if she didn’t want to talk that day, that was ok too.
Are you guys together as a couple? If not, set a schedule one morning call, after nap call and bedtime call. If the schedule cannot be respected hire an attorney and get it in writing. He is not respecting your daughter’s or your time. No boundaries there… those are important.
Not wanting to talk to your daughter, it’s you he wants to talk to. Just don’t answer the phone every time. Or you could tell him if he continued all this calling you will have your # changed and blocked from him and you will call him when you think it’s time foe them to talk. Like at bed time for a good night call.