Is my fiance right to be upset?

I have a job as a babysitter for a friend and her husband is taking off work on friday for a video game event where he will be home all day long. They still want me to come over and take their oldest to school and my friend wants me to take her to a drs appointment. This was fine because her husband was originally going to be at work. I told my friend my fiance was not happy that I'm still required to come over here when her husband was going to be home. We feel that because it involves me and we're getting married that it is his business and that he does have a right to be upset. I'm slightly irritated because I did not agree to babysit when you'll be home. Do my fiance and I have the right to be upset about this or are we overreacting?
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Is my fiance right to be upset?

I mean ur getting paid for it right I mean y be upset

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No they are paying you to do a job. It don’t matter who is home or not

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Are you upset or is he? If you feel uncomfortable then okay don’t do it. But I honestly don’t see a problem with it. They still need a babysitter but if it makes you uncomfortable then that’s fine don’t do it.

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Overreacting you are still being paid. What if he had a work from home job would you not babysit? Sounds like he is insecure

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Dad has a ‘commitment’. They specifically made sure they had a sitter. I do not feel as though you are able to decide when and if they want/need one.

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I feel like if he’s mad about it then he doesn’t understand those events. He can’t just put it down or press pause.

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Depends…are you getting paid for babysitting? If not then yes but if you are then no.

If you’re getting paid it shouldn’t matter who’s home.

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Are they paying you? If so, him being home has nothing to do with the job you get paid to do.

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Is there a reason he doesn’t trust you to go babysit? Like isn’t that part of the job. It sounds like he’s going to be busy working from home so what’s the problem? Clearly his wife has no problem with it. Sounds like he doesn’t trust you to me….

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You’re getting paid…is it really worth messing up a paying gig? You had already intended on being there. There have been a couple times where I’ve paid my babysitter to come over for a couple hours so I could do some heavy duty cleaning or working in my “office” (our grown up only livingroom) and need someone responsible to be all there for my kids.

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Wow. Trust issue :triangular_flag_on_post: literally all over the entire post

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You’re getting paid regardless which makes it your job to make sure those kids are being taken care of does it really matter as long as your getting paid parents need time off too

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Your being paid to baby sit I’m going to assume he’s going to be home but not be home at the same time. They still need your service I dnt think your friend is out of line I kinda think you are and I’d probably look for a more reliable sitter without so many trust issues. I mean sure your fiancé has the right to feel however he wants but being so annoyed that he doesn’t want you working around your friends husband is kinda weird :woman_shrugging:t3: sounds like someone has trust issues.

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Surely you’re not actually upset.
You are paid to provide a service, that service doesn’t come with conditions like “only whilst working” - you provide the service when they need their kids taken care of.

Don’t lose a job and potentially a friend over this. Truly ridiculous.

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Never mix business with friends or family.

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You’re getting paid for the job and that’s what the job requires??? Yes people pay for those events to watch from home so if you’re not a gamer you do not have any understanding of it. Now if she said her husband was going to be home all day but was doing nothing and not spending time with the kids then I’d have a problem with it.
But she is paying you for a job and it would have been the same if he would have paid for an event and went somewhere else all day it just happens to be paid to watch off the TV or a computer. So yes you’re overreacting. Now if you were not getting paid for it and expect it to just come do that then we’d be talking a different story and a different answer.

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I think you’re overreacting. :woman_shrugging:t2:

You were hired to do a job. Doesn’t matter when it is, it’s still the job you were hired for. You wouldn’t tell your boss at any other job that you can’t work because they are there. :rofl:

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This didn’t come off to me as a trust issue, but more that this dad is lacking :woman_shrugging: choosing a video game and paying for a sitter over time with his kid. I’d be annoyed too.

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It seems like he’s actually jealous that you will be at the home with another man all day long and this is a tactic to drive a wedge between you and your friend and also take away your job and financial independence. It sounds like you agreed to it and didn’t have a problem with working that day until your fiancée convinced you that it was a problem. You should be upset with him and not your friend.

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why would you say no to a paying job? Like if it were free maybe that would be weird.

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Doesn’t matter if mom is grocery shopping or working or getting her nails done. Same with dad and video games. Dads need time too. Help out and get paid to hang out with awesome kids while mom and dad need a recharge!

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I clean houses for ppl who are fully capable of cleaning their own houses…They pay me so that they don’t have too…Plus, they’re always home…lol

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Yes, yes, yes, you and your boyfriend are totally overreacting!

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I can’t go into work and just decide when and what I’m working… “oh there’s enough of us here today, I’m just gonna give myself the day off”
You’re being paid for a JOB… Professionalism is important

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“Is my fiancée right to be upset?” I think that’s the bigger problem. You stated that your fiancée is upset several times, while you are “slightly irritated.” Sorry not sorry. I have big issues with men determining things for women. But no. If you’re going to be paid then I don’t see a problem with it. Unless the bigger issue is simply that your fiancée doesn’t like that a man will be there.

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First your getting paid, secondly it doesn’t sounds like your actually baby sitting that day sounds like you are being a ride share. In example taking kids to school then taking her to an appointment. Some people randomly have to work from home or some do it all the time but that doesnt mean they can take care of the kiddos.

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Does he make you feel uncomfortable? If that’s the case, then yes. You shouldn’t be watching the kids with him there.

But if that were the case you probably shouldn’t be working there anyway.

You need to sit down with your friend and her husband and set clear boundries about what you are looking for in your job.

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Sounds like you might be with the wrong man.
Please think about what you are willing to put up with and WHY! Be honest with yourself. I’m sure that you are perfectly capable of putting the father of these kids in his place if he gets out of line. Believe it or not, every man you might run into in a days time does not want to jump your bones. Why your BF thinks this, I don’t know…
And why you would put up with that is because you don’t know your own worth.

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Firstly I wouldn’t be marrying someone that doesn’t trust me and tells me I can’t work a certain job because of their trust issues that’s for sure and secondly your being paid to do a service and you accepted said service so regardless if her hubbies home or not your job still requires you. You need to step back and think about the way your thinking because if you listen to your partner you’ll end up in a controlling untrusting marriage and loose a good friend all the same

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So if you worked at McDonald’s, would your fiance tell you that you couldn’t go to work? It’s your job… you are getting paid for it. :roll_eyes:

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I’d be mad too if her hubs took off work for a damn video game and they still require you to be there. I’d tell them no.

Yea way over reacting lol

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If your getting paid then you should be there. Your fiancée sounds like a moron, run don’t walk.

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It’s just your man’s insecurities ma. Understandable because that’s how some guys think but that’s where you get to be the teaching adult on handling trust situations. Maybe take the kids to the park after the Dr appt and highlight that to your man. They’re so childish sometimes. He just doesn’t want you around another dude all day, especially all cozy in a house with kids (family like). You’ll learn to just keep your head above that in the years to come and how to best handle his emotions. And you think women are bad. Ahhhh the fun of marriage lol

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Overreacted bc you still get the same amount of money!!!

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As a wife of a gamer and mother of 4, if you are being paid stfu and take care of those kids. My husband “tries” to watch the kids but really my kids terrorize the house and do some potentially dangerous shit. My 3 year old is non verbal and an escape artist/monkey/ninja. I would much rather someone be there when my husband is face first in his game. It also sounds like a tournament which means he can’t always just drop what he is doing or wait 15-30 minutes to settle the kids before starting the next game. So she has perfectly valid reasons for expecting you to still be at work. Your fiance not liking it honestly just sounds like a way to feel justified and finding an out.

I have 3 sons that are gamers. There’s no way that you can pause the event or simply just work around some of these events,thus him taking the day off work. If you were simply doing it as a favor I could understand but it’s a paid job and he actually won’t be available to do it. I get it that this is a leisure activity, however either way you’ll likely end up taking the child. If you refuse he might as well go to work. This is a big time serious event for the gamer if he’s gone all this length to be apart of it. Don’t over think it. If it becomes a reoccurring thing then it can be an issue but let dad enjoy his 1 day event. Which I do not agree speaks to his parenting as someone said above because I’ve paid for baby sitters spend a day with “the girls”.

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Never marry a control freak.

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Lol I don’t even know how to respond to this :rofl::roll_eyes:

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I have a different opinion than most. First, if you are getting paid by your friend for babysitting, and they need you on a usual work day, then yes you should go. If you are doing it as a favor and NOT getting paid, then I don’t think I would like it either. But if it’s your job and the are not deducting from your pay you are obligated that day!

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Why do you care?? As long as you’re getting paid!

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If they’re paying you the same amount it shouldn’t matter.

IT sounds like it’s your significant other that has the issue not “we/us” But youre taking his control and giving it power by siding with him over you WORKING. sounds controlling and problematic.

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You get paid to babysit, regardless if they’re at work or not. If he’s doing a gaming event, he will be preoccupied and won’t be able to care for the kids, that’s where the babysitter comes in.

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I don’t feel like this is a professional relationship lol Because if it was you wouldn’t care the circumstances and would just watch the child when you’re hired to do so :woman_shrugging:t3:

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It’s all about trust. If you don’t trust one another before you marry, what will your lives be like afterwards? You’re going for the kids, not to babysit her husband!

Why be upset? Either agree to do it or don’t. What does it matter if someone is home? They still need a babysitter… 🤷

Yeah, good luck with that marriage. If he’s interfering now, what happens when you have a job working for a company? What happens when he doesn’t think you should go to work because nice looking men work there? Or he just wants you home with him? It’s really NOT his business. :woman_shrugging:t4:

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Do yourself a favor and spare yourself divorce money lol. He doesn’t trust you around your friend’s husband? Super yikes. He’s going to be gaming all day. He can’t watch the kids.

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Honestly sounds like he has an issue with it and you need to go along with it to keep him happy.
If you are getting paid to be there that day, than it’s your job. If you’re there as a favor than yes it’s an issue IF you, yourself prefer not to

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Lol wtf, don’t they pay you? And it’s your friend, why wouldn’t you want to take her to an appointment? Also, her husband is doing something he likes, why does it matter what they are doing if they pay you and that’s the routine? Your man is also a child btw.

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I agree with what everyone else is saying and I’ll also add that I wouldn’t say don’t marry this man but I’d definitely make that a long engagement bc phew the control and lack of trust :flushed::flushed: couldn’t be me :running_woman:t3:

Overreacting. If you’re getting paid, wtf difference does it matter who is home or not. It’s the same if you cleaned someone’s house. Lots of people are home while the cleaner is there cleaning.

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If you’re still getting paid for helping them, then yes you’re overreacting. People get babysitters when they can’t watch their kids themselves. It shouldn’t matter what they are doing. Now on the other side, I do think they could of planned this day better.

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If you don’t like making money just say that :joy: good grief, this is honestly such a nonissue… I really try not to comment unless it’s constructive but COME ON :grimacing:

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You have every right to be upset if you guys didn’t agree on u sitting on days they would be at home. How your future husband feels about it is your business. If you were going to tell your friend, hey this bothered me, then you should say it as so and leave his name off of it. I feel like the way this is written is possibly you were venting to him, he sided with you, and then you went and said we instead of me to your friend. If you had no intentions of sitting for them on days they could technically watch their own kids, then I would just say, from here on out I won’t be coming on days either or you have off and leave it at that. Don’t create drama and don’t bend bc its a friend. Stick to how you want to operate and if she isn’t okay with it she could replace you, but at least you won’t feel upset or used. Seriously next time leave your man’s name out of it and just say what it is you are thinking, it will help tons.

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As long as you’re getting paid, I don’t think it’s a big deal. There’s just so many other things to worry about. This seems silly.

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It’s a job. You don’t have to agree to do it. Nonsense to be upset about it.

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Completely overreacting

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I’m confused as to why you’d be upset? Obviously you’re both overreacting but I’m guessing it’s because you’re both young. I have 5 boys. Video game events are normal around here. When they are playing in an event, the house could be on fire, I could be laying at the bottom of the stairs with a broken leg, the dog could pee on their leg and they wouldn’t know wtf is going on. Rest assured he’s not inviting you over because he wants to watch you shake your ass while you make TikTok’s. You need to learn to be around people that will pay other people to do things they don’t want to do, it’s called a job. What happens when you get a boss that works in the same building as you; is your fiancé going to be upset then because someone else is in the building?? … I’m trying to decide if this post is satire, because if it’s not-you both have a lot to learn.

Over reacting and I wouldn’t let you watch my kids anymore because now I’m questioning why you can’t watch the kids in front of them. Also he will be in a closed room doing his game so he won’t be able to watch the kids. It’s pretty simple

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He’s taking part in an online event… He’s not going to be able to watch the kids at the same time, let alone seduce you if that is the issue?

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If this is your job then neither of you have a right to be upset at the reason you have to be at work.
If my boss asked me to come I to work because she has an appointment but then she decided to cancel the appointment and just chill at home, I still have to go to work. because that’s my job, regardless of the reason behind it.
Your husband is also controlling AF if he needs to know the reason why you have to be at work and then thinks he gets a say in whether the reason you’re there is good enough or not.
This whole thing is so weird.

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Why cant the dad take his kid? Or watch the kid if hes going to be home?

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Sorry but if the father is going to be there then he should look after his child. Looking after your child is more important than a gaming event. I wouldn’t do it

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It’s a job. Do you want paid to watch their child while they do other things or do you want to go home?

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If your getting paid then it doesn’t matter. Now if they are taking advantage of you that’s a different problem. But if it’s your JOB then you should just do your job as usual.

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If it’s paid work then you’re overreacting. It’s their choice what they spend their money on. I was a nanny for years and I have been there what they stayed home and cleaned it they slept or watched tv, I think one time the dad went golfing. It’s their money to spend. My rate didn’t change. 🤷 It’s a job.

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Umm, it’s your job, you are being paid. It doesn’t matter if he will be home or not. Also, your fiance is just upset that a dude will be there so it sounds like he is either controlling, jealous, doesn’t trust you…that’s a huge red flag.

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  1. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.
  2. If you’re getting paid what makes the difference if they’re there or not.
  3. Is your fiancé thinking you’re going to do something you shouldn’t be done? Trust issues?
  4. It’s money.
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No I don’t think you are overreacting. If a parent is home to sit around playing video games all day long then yes they can watch their own kid for sure, BUT, if you are getting paid then maybe take them to the park or something 🤷
It would be different if he was doing something with actual importance like home maintenance or whatever. It would definitely irritate the holy fk outta me having the parent in the house just playing stupid games, like wow🤦

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Look, when they fire you for this, can I have this job? It sounds pretty good to me!

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If she pays you…then no. If you do it for free then you can be upset. My opinion.

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I would just treat it as if he won’t be home. I don’t really see an issue here but I might also be missing something

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If you’re being payed, over reacting. Its your job. If unpaid, not over reacting

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What??? This makes no sense. Why does it matter if he will be home?? She’s paying you to watch her kid for a reason because the hubby is obviously going to be busy.

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Heads up for your controlling and untrusting husband . RUN :running_woman: red flag :triangular_flag_on_post:

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I use to be a nanny. Sometimes the dad was home and I still went to work. It was my job. You are overreacting for sure. Hes going to be home so what… continue doing what they pay you to do.

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He’s married you’re engaged. What does your man think you’re gonna mess with hers?

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I work from home and sometimes my husband has a random day off that he just wants to relax and play video games. I still have our nanny come during the day as I work and my husband definitely deserves a relaxation day here and there.

If you are getting paid I wouldn’t be upset about it, now if you aren’t getting paid I can see where you would be upset.

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I work from home and sometimes my husband has a random day off that he just wants to relax and play video games. I still have our nanny come during the day as I work and my husband definitely deserves a relaxation day here and there.

If you are getting paid I wouldn’t be upset about it, now if you aren’t getting paid I can see where you would be upset.

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If you’re getting paid M-F to watch their children, (even if he’s home) then you can’t be upset. I get that you may want a day off but if that was the agreement- I don’t see why you guys are overreacting.
We have this argument with my mil too. If my husband takes a day off and she finds out- she automatically wants him to watch our girls and have the day off. But if he takes the day off it’s usually because he’s sick or has other adult duties to tend too.

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Overreacting …why is ur fiance so insecure n jealous? Is this gonna be ur future ??

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If it is a job then yeah you’re overreacting. They’re paying you to watch the kids. Them being there is neither here nor there. If you want the day off just say that.

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He is overreacting. It’s your job and you make money to survive. :clap:

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Who cares as long as they are paying you . I have paid a babysitter to watch my kids while I slept because I was exhausted, so what as long as i was paying a fair amount.

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1 no one is twisting your nipple making you do this you can say no.
2. They are paying so who cares if they are home or not.
3. It’s no different than a live in nanny.
4. Who is having the issue here you or him?
5. It’s a job and it’s money so :woman_shrugging:

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Don’t let your fiance mess up your money bag. What you going to do quit every job because your man is in his feelings? Come on :scissors: it out.

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I’d be more upset that your fiancee is a control freak. You don’t want to be married to one trust me! Was married to one for 4yrs. I wasn’t even allowed to go to the pool in our complex without him there. Absolutely horrifying to live every day!! Run while you still can

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Ummm you have lost me :flushed::flushed::flushed:

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Just because they’re home doesn’t mean they still don’t need child care. If they’re paying you, go.

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Um no…treat the husband at home as not being there…you were asked to watch the kids…so do it

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It’s a job your being paid for I would assume so why are you upset that they expect you to still work. In all honesty your man sounds like hes worried and controlling and you sound as if you want the day off.

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I also have this issue. If I am being paid I dont care if he is home on his day off. They have their own way .

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I’m sorry, if you were going to be there babysitting anyway, what’s the problem?
You’re getting payed aren’t you?
Is your husband jealous or something?

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If your the babysitter why u taking Mommy to the Dr’s can she not drive or are u the nanny/housemaid lol

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Money is moneeyyyyy. Idk what the issue is. WAH parents tend to still have a sitter. So its kind of the same. If anything, have the kids go to your house instead?

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