Am I being unreasonable for not wanting to get this for him?
My husband and I just had our third child. We aren’t wealthy, both work full time and live paycheck to paycheck with not much extra to spend. I said that for Christmas we shouldn’t exchange since we have the kids and it’s just not necessary. He thinks we should but when I ask him what he wants he wants a baseball jersey that’s almost $400! I think that’s very unreasonable to ask for. We literally never go out and he wears uniforms for work. I’m going to buy it for him to maybe wear like once a year!
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You are definitely not being unreasonable! He is! I’m all for only buying for the kids, especially when money is already tight. Dropping $400 on a shirt to never wear is a hard pass when you know how many diapers that would buy!
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Yeah, I wouldn’t. Maybe save and get it for a bday or anniversary gift.
The fact he even asked after your concerns… How many discussions do y’all have about money?
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Idk…I would get it 
also, there was a couple years we didnt get each other gifts and our son was devastated because Santa didn’t bring us any gifts…that broke my heart. So we always make sure to get each other something now.
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Make a list of all the things yall can buy for the baby with that $400.
Or other more essential things for the house that’ll def get more use out of.
He really is being unreasonable
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We always get each other SOMETHING, but nothing major if we don’t have the extra money. The kids get sad when we don’t have anything, so even if it’s something small from a dollar store, we act as if it’s the greatest gift in the world. Honestly, even if I had the extra, I’m not paying $400 for a shirt… Especially one that won’t even be worn often.
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If it’s not necessary, then no. He’s a grown man and pays bills, so then he knows the struggle. Don’t feel guilty, does he plan on buying you a $400 purse or pair of shoes? Buy him something meaningful or useful n the rest for groceries or bills
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Ask for something just as costly and then return it 
BOOM money returned 
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400.00 on jersey alone is ridiculous. That’s just crazy. My wife and I don’t buy each other gifts for Christmas. It’s all about the kids. We both have birthdays in December and we celebrate our day together and do gifts for one another that day. I can’t even imagine paying 400.00 for a dang jersey 
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No you are not if that amount of money isn’t being spent on the kids then why should it be for him he made a choice to bring these kids into this world to and that causes for sacrifices sometimes and sometimes it’s something we really want but if you already struggling then I don’t see why that amount would be spent on a Jersey you are in the right and he is being unreasonable it’s about them kids🙏
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Unpopular opinion but if he wants it he wants it. You said he’s working full-time too so he deserves nice things as well. I don’t know your financial situation but everybody deserves to want some thing on Christmas. Isn’t there anything you want for Christmas?
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Get a jersey off here can’t tell the difference of a $30 jersey or a $400 jersey
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He’s stupid for wanting that!!
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Get him something, but i wouldnt spend $400 on him; it could be spent on the kids, which is what Christmas is for. Not to mention you still have bills due right after Christmas. Id get the jersey for him for his bday!
Yaaaaaa he needs to think more realistically. Personally if it was so bad I was considering no presents I’d say dollar store DIY. At least that way you’d have SOMETHING to exchange that’s meaningful.
No tell his mom to buy it for him since he’s a crybaby 
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Yeah no lol. My kids are first. If that means him and I don’t get something for Christmas that’s how it is.
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That unreasonable especially knowing y’all can’t afford it right now. He knew how much having another kid would cost so he has no right to act selfish or even be surprised.
There’s nothing wrong with him wanting something for christmas, but a $400 jersey is not reasonable when she said they live paycheck to paycheck meaning after bills they have very little to nothing left and they just had a baby which ccmeans she’s probably not working yet.
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Poor guy hasn’t gown up yet.
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My husband and I do not even exchange gifts and haven’t for YEARS…we spend our money in the 4 kids. My older two (18 & 16) usually want something more expensive (iPhone or whatever) and they have told me to wait until we get our tax return and get it for them then, which we have been doing for the last 4-5 years. They like us to spend the majority of our money on their two younger brothers (10.5 & 9).
Maybe let him know that you will get it for him when your taxes return comes in? 
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Yikes you guys are all awful. Both of them work full-time and are able to make financial choices. Let’s appreciate the fact that he’s not spending $400 on himself on a whim and requesting it as a Christmas gift. Why would it be inappropriate for her to say that she can get them a gift card towards this gift but they need to save up for it as it may be out of their budget. If you can’t afford it that’s OK, but if it’s a huge goal for him how do you make it work in the future
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My husband and me never get each other anything Christmas is for kids in my opinion. I’d rather them get what they want and need vs me getting something I can get later. $400 is very unreasonable living paycheck to paycheck.
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Unpopular opinion but I believe dad’s (men in general) deserve to be spoiled too. They work so hard to provide for the family… they can’t be rewarded once a year with something they want? I spoil my man any chance I get because he is amazing and works his ass off so my son and I can live a good life.
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Maybe get him something not that expensive and slowly save up for that and give as a birthday gift instead? 
You asked him what he wants …. That’s what he wants …. If you don’t want to get him that gift then that’s ok but you asked the question
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Hell no, that’s selfish and childish
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Wait for his birthday,
Being a parent and never getting what you want as because of finances is so hard. You start to lose yourself a bit and that can take a toll on your mental health. Personally I’d find a way to make it work
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Christmas is for the kids, but not their birthday either
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We dont do gifts for the adults. If I had the 400 I’d get it for him. (We had that sickness at the end of November and im 9 months pregnant so we just cant do that right now.) But I plan on getting him the new rick and morty DVD for his birthday (NYE)
Maybe save up for a special birthday gift and choose something else. Tell him you want a gift list of some ideas and go from there.
You don’t have to buy it. That simple.
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I think everyone has forgotten what Christmas is all about! It’s not presents. Especially ones that a family can’t afford. Maybe he needs to volunteer at the soup kitchen to appreciate that $400 for a shirt is just ridiculous. It’s Christ’s birthday. Not his.
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Xmas is for the kids. And what Jersey does he want just curious ?
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If you guys don’t have thr money for it, then don’t get it
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Tell him to lay by the thing for himself and give him a picture of the Jersey for Christmas and a baby’s bib! 
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You have 3 kids,not 4! Tell him to grow up. He gave up $400 shirts when he decided to help bring 3 kids into the world. Let his mama buy him one lol
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If you have the money to get it… get it… if this isn’t his usual habit… then get it.
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I wouldn’t do it. But if you really feel like you need to and since money is short right now, maybe you can spilt the payments by using Klarna or afterpay to pay for it. That way it’s only $100 every two weeks
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That’s crazy thinking on his part…period!
It’s a bit much especially if you’re living paycheck to paycheck, which trust me, I understand. Lol. Maybe give him some money to go towards it. Then give him more money for his birthday, father’s day, etc and probably before you know it, he’ll have enough to get it.
Will your housing be threatened if you get it? Will you have to go without food, utilities, basic necessities like gas, or anything like that?
If it’s something that’ll be detrimental to the family, it really should be a hard no.
I live invoice to invoice, but I spoil myself with a massive yarn stash (about $70) or forge time so I can blacksmith (~$300) occasionally. It helps me have time for myself.
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I think it’s nice for everyone to have something under the Christmas tree. But then I take my children to b&m, home bargains, proud land, etc (cheap shops in UK) and let then choose an item, usually under £10. It’s the thought that counts not the cost. And I’m teaching my children the gift of giving at the same time, choosing for someone else, all adults in.the family (grandparents, aunties, uncles) get the same. A cheap present chosen by the children. They get so excited giving the presents out saying look what I got for you, it’s so precious.
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I always ask my husband for a list of different priced items and get what I can afford, but still make sure to get something on his list.
I feel everyone should open something up on Christmas! Even if it’s a card with a sincerely written message inside. 
I can’t with this whole post
He shouldn’t even ask for something like that. We are expecting our 4th in January and my husband got mad I got him carhart clothes for work because of our kids. They should always come first and living pay check to paycheck isn’t fun! I know we all have been there. How would he react if you asked for a 400$ purse or something of that nature. He should be happy if you bought him a 10-50$ gift. It’s the thought that counts and that’s all that should matter. I most defiantly wouldn’t do it. It would be different if y’all had extra money to spend and blow, hopefully this helps. Sending thoughts your way 
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Sometimes we need a little happiness in our life. For you it’s just a Jersey an overpriced shirt. For him it’s something he wants. Living paycheck to paycheck sucks. It can get depressing.
If it was me. I would try and fit that into the budget and get it for him.
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See if you can find it on eBay, Amazon etc cheaper… Even if it is second hand, as maybe someone else bought it and only wore it once a year.
When I read stuff like this I’m grateful I’m single and can spend as much as I want whenever I want, on whatever I want without hearing about it and my kids definitely still come first
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If he works all year and wanted this and it could happen I would. Bc it’s a reward as well.
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Can probably find one at goodwill for like $5. 
$400 for a shirt is unreasonable in any situation, much less when you aren’t rich and have kids to think of.
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Make his one u resonable aswell
No don’t buy stop having you can afford mentality.work out how many hrs you’d have work for it
No you aren’t being unreasonable. You’re thinking logistically.
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My husband and I don’t exchange gifts, we buy something for the household, new pellet stove, new pots/pans knives… something for “us”
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Look for it on sale somewhere
Oh hell no he’s full of it. Lol
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If your living paycheck to paycheck…With three kids, I sure would not be buying a $400 shirt…this is crazy…
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I get Christmas is magical but if you can’t afford to pay for something why would he want you to basically put yourself into debt… especially for something like you said he won’t probably wear…
Maybe speak to your partner and say about doing little gifts instead?? Xx
I don’t think its unreasonable
I think everyone deserves some self care. And if he goes without all year then 400 bucks doesn’t seem extreme to me.
Spoil him just this once.
Its important to remember that just because we have kids doesn’t mean we should put ourselves on the Backburner all year round.
This causes burnout and depression.
Self care including sometimes spoiling ourselves is really important
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If you can swing it to afford it then do but if this will put the household in hardship then it’s unreasonable. Do not miss a payment on bills or food or a roof over your heads for a gift.
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That’s $400 worth of food, or bills… maybe instead of gifts you could, for way less than that , get out for a night and a get a babysitter. If he complains just say you said no exchanges but y’all deserved a little time to relax and have adult time
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Use Klarna make payments on what he’s asking for. He deserves it from what it seems.
Me and partner have never done Christmas presents for each other its allwaxs been about the kids
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As a mother of 2 who also works paycheque to paycheque there’s no way I’d be able to justify this amount of money on one gift. Yes I think he’s being very unrealistic especially as you have 3 small people to make Christmas special for.
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100% no way 
my partner and i have never bought gifts for eachother its always somthing we need for the house id never spend that on a piece of clothing and nor would he.
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My husband gets a hockey jersey every year for either Christmas/ birthday. He has since he was a kid and collects them. This year he’s wanting one around 250$. Obviously paying bills and getting our sons Christmas comes first and he understands that If we can’t afford something for each other during Christmas 9/10 times we get it with our taxes. If you look on market place you can find some pretty cheap jerseys and depends on the seller they will let you do payments on it I’m paying 40 a week to get his jersey and it will be here before Christmas. I don’t think it’s unreasonable unless it’s something he splurges on regularly… guys like to be spoiled to sometimes and sometimes Christmas is the only time they do ask for something expensive
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I would be like “pick, something like 350 dollars cheaper.” My bf had spending issues be likes to spend money. How pay check is pulled off his chime called and transfered to mine and like 60 is left on the card.
Not at all… if you cannot afford it, you cannot afford it. But something to keep filed away for when you can. He is being quite selfish imo.
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Unpopular opinion but I say get it. It’s something that will make him happy, so what if he wears it once a year, hell he could hang it on the wall and never wear it. People are so caught up in existing and not living. You never know what tomorrow could bring, you’re not promised another day, so live, spend the money, eat the cake and stop stressing on it. When you’re old and look back you’ll wish you lived more instead of just existing and stressing.
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I wouldn’t get it for him that’s ridiculous.
You are being sensible,
He needs wake up and smell the roses
There are alot cheaper Jersey than 400
Absolutely not! However I know what you mean because my husband be asking for the crazies most expensive stuff… no no I’m not paying 300 dollars for Bluetooth sunglasses🙄 … maybe he’s like my husband and knows he won’t get it, but just has expensive taste in junk😅
I have 6 kids and live pay check to pay check. Lemme just say this is the 1st xmas I have ever been able to buy a gift and when I look into a gift for my s/o it will be useful not once in a great while type thing. I got him an limited edition hat and he wore that 1 flipping time which i get he loves it and is hanging up. This next gift will be used the moment it is opened. Like dont buy a gift that you feel is going to put you guys in a tighter spot tell him to be reasonable with the amount. My s/o got me a ring the price omg but I do not wear it not because of price or not loving it but because it is a size to small but i hardly wear jewelry to begin with which he knew. It means something to me and at the time we was living pay check to pay check. So personally ask him for another gift idea or 2. Or maybe find the Jersey for a cheaper price.
And this is 1 of the manyyyy reasons why I divorced my children’s father. And it was never Christmas time… We had 3 small children both of us worked we were ok financially however he would like go spend $175 for Oakley sunglasses on a week when we had major bills due. He told the children’s there was NO SANTA at age 2,4&5 had to let them know we bought the new bikes that I put “from Santa” on… Then although I worked & in between gave birth to our children he always told me I could leave & claimed the house even though my name was on mortgage . Everything we bought “together” was his. Well I had a HAPPY NEW YEAR & After him throwing Santa & I under the bus & traumatizing our children I left him. & my daughter 34 now says *IF Dad tells my children’s there is no Santa I will kill him " Lol, it’s a time for something like that I would say if you have that kind of money & he is a good husband then of course if paycheck to paycheck & he is a good husband maybe on a Anniversary or birthday
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Yeah priorities come first. I couldn’t justify that sort of cost for something like that. Not after all the money I wasted on my last partner. My rc hobby isn’t cheap but I use it regularly and my kids get involved. Haven’t had and won’t have money for it for a while. As being a single parent I have priorities
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If you’re living paycheck to paycheck as is it’s not a smart choice to buy that. But if he’s gonna get you a present that’s worth the same amount then like it’s mutual. But I think you guys should just save your money and go out for dinner or something? Date night.
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I think hes being immature and selfish.
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No he’s being unreasonable for asking for that. He sounds like a man child.
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Just set some boundaries. Offer a reasonable amount you are spending on each other or Give a limit/budget. Let’s both do $50 on gifts- type of thing ?
maybe give him a gift card towards it as you both work together. Ect . My husband wants a certain tool- that’s $400 - so for me I do -Father’s Day, valentines, Birthday, etc… I get him gift cards to show I’m trying to do for him and get him what he wants through the year. But sometimes things don’t work in the budget. Don’t go beyond your means and hurt yourself or your family to get him something that is out of reach. The effort is enough. my husband has saved his gift cards thru the year and sometimes when I have extra I’ll pick up an extra gift card and surprise Him too. To go Towards it. Just adds up over time and I feel better about not going beyond our means. Just say “ hey , I couldn’t afford “this “ at the time - but here is $50- towards “.” - iand I’m trying and we will absolutely get you that when the time is right -
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Tell him you understand he wants nice things… you both do but when you have savings then you can splurge?
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He can get it himself! So many other things to spend 400 on, especially with three kids. How bout he can get you a massage, hire a housekeeper for a day, etc.
Hello no jersey for 400 too high maintenance there so much things u need that’s a want get what he needs
Nope 
kids come first he shouldn’t have even asked
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You laugh and say, no, what do you want that’s under $25? So we’d have lots of presents in our 3-person family, my mom would wrap up toothbrushes, panty hose, toiletries, etc. Half the fun was the excitement of opening presents and trying to guess what it was before you opened it.
Once my neighbor told someone I got my son a can of olives for Christmas. The other person said, “how cruel!” My neighbor replied, “No, you don’t understand. He LOVED it.”
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He has lost his everlovin mind
I suggest a conversation. You asked him what he wanted without any parameters and are now upset because you feel what he asked for something unreasonable. The next conversation should be agreeing on a Christmas budget for each other and to share ideas of what to get each other within that budget. Also embrace the humor behind him still being a kid at heart knowing at Christmas time it’s the one time of year it’s acceptable to splurge a little and wish for something extra special.
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See what he says when you say you want a new fridge or dishwasher for about the same price.
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Buy him a pair of PJs and leave it at that. $400 is way to expensive & personally dumb to even think that would be okay to spend on a shirt. I’m a sahm and my fiance works so I completely understand about the pay check to pay check to it sucks. We don’t even get each other gifts or celebrate our birthdays or anniversaries anymore. It’s all to expensive.
He shouldn’t have even asked that’s so selfish for your circumstances. Me and my partner are struggling this year, I’ve said don’t get me anything get a present extra for the kids instead. He needs to rethink his priorities
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I would ask him why he wants a jersey of a team in a lock out!! Wait it out and next season it will be at every goodwill then he can get it
Thats absolutely ridiculous end of story!
Just an fyi, they don’t necessarily wear the jerseys,they put them on a wall, or in a drawer & hope they’ll appreciate in value. Shop around, you can get a new jersey for less. Also check sites Iike Ebay
Hell no, go to Walmart and get him 4 shirts for $20.
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Oh thats just silly. Where does he think the money is coming from ?
The children come first…the manchild can save up and buy his own jumper …smh
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She asked what he wanted and he was honest. I’m sure if she got it for him, he would be so appreciative in so many other ways. He’s sacrificing right along with her. I doubt he’s badgering her to buy it or she’d mention it. Let the guy dream a little, dang.
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No, you are completely right for not wanting to buy such a frivolous item when you are raising young children! It’s about the well being of the family! Do not live beyond your means. It’s just not wise.
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