The science proves that you CANNOT spoil a baby that way. They need to feel loved and safe and secure. Never allow an infant to cry all alone. Always run to them.
4 Likes
I rocked my firstborn to sleep for over 2 years. My second learned to self-soothe the first day home, but she never lacked for my attention.
5 Likes
I hate when people say that. Your child feels safest with YOU. That’s YOUR baby and if you wanna carry them 24/7 that is YOUR choice. I absolutely love holding my baby I love taking naps with him I love doing everything for/with him. Do what you want with your baby
4 Likes
The same thing happened with our son when I was a new mother. I would run to him every time he cried. My husband would pull me back. After a while I learned the sound of his cries meant different things and I knew what his hungry vs wet diaper, etc sound was. He also had a fussy cry when trying to get back to sleep. The hardest part was to let him cry for 5 mins the 1st time. My husband held me back. After that he would cry for one min and then fall asleep. If he cried for more than 5 mins, I knew he needed me to come to him. You need to do what works for you. My son is now 16 & very self sufficient & independent.
4 Likes
Trust your instincts! I have a 19 and 15 year old that are extremely independent. They are both kind, considerate and loving individuals. I did not practice self soothing with either one. I tried one time with my oldest and lasted maybe 2 minutes. It was excruciating emotionally. I co slept as well. As another individual wrote above, build that strong trust foundation with your little one.
2 Likes
My children always slept in my bed while they were young and I never let them cry it out! I feel like they just want to be comfortable and there is nothing wrong with that, and both my children turned out to be incredible people 
I am constantly complimented on how wonderful my children are!
2 Likes
If you have a newborn baby. You can tell whomever is telling you that, they can parent there way, you’ll parent your way!
I loved cuddling my babies and rocking them. You’ll eventually learn there cry for hunger, wet or dirty diaper, etc. Putting them on a schedule is very helpful for sleeping, eating etc.
4 Likes
If it doesn’t feel right, then it isn’t right. Go to your baby, love on him. Touch, love, snuggles, are all just as crucial as the food they eat.
3 Likes
You do what you feel is right for you and your babe. Personally I’ve never done self soothe. Everyone can tell you how to parent but at the end of the day listen to what you think and s right
2 Likes
Trust your mommy instincts. DONT LET ANYONE ELSE TELL YOU WHAT IS GOOD FOR YOUR BABY. You are hardwired to know what your baby needs
7 Likes
Personally, I chose to let my kids self soothe. I think it’s a personal parenting choice though. Unless you’re hindering their development and the doctor is telling you so… Nevermind the busy bodies.
2 Likes
My doctor told me to let my baby self soothe. This is what I did with that “advice”
3 Likes
Girl I’ve never heard of an independent baby lol…follow your instincts…folks think they know everything about everyone else but not themselves next thing they’ll be saying is the baby should get a job and pay for his own formula lol I’m sure you’re doing an awesome job mom
1 Like
Do what you feel is right for you and baby… my oldest has only slept in my bed a handful of times and hes 9… my middle slept most nights since birth until about a week or 2 before we brought home baby sister… he was already 6… and baby girl is about half and half right now… she will sometimes sleep half the night in her bed or the whole night in her bed or the whole night in my bed… she’s 8m… I follow their lead…
2 Likes
I hated self soothing. I tried it, and I regret every minute of it. It does make it a bit harder to transition them to sleeping in another room if you co-sleep, even with a bassinet, because they are so used to you being there(this is for toddler hood). Do what you feel is right, and don’t let others push you to do what you are not comfortable with.
2 Likes
YOUR child will have plenty of time to “self soothe”. Comfort,cuddle, soothe that baby
2 Likes
Comfort your baby all he needs. Don’t listen to the judgement of others. Parenting looks different for all of us. His stress and yours are important to keep in check. A peaceful, loving home is so, so important. Comfort and safety are key. It flies by so don’t miss any moment to offer your child love and comfort. 
I “hogged” BOTH my kiddos held them all the time n didn’t allow visitors n if I did they hardly got to hold them… I don’t believe in “letting them cry it out” I PERSONALLY believe it’s child abuse to a point… I don’t knock those that believe (it was my best friends method after a certain age and both of our kiddos are well behaved) 🤷… I also believe in co sleeping…they’re only little once… My 7 year old barely wants to hug me now (someone might see lol)
1 Like
Never let anyone tell you how to raise your child. All babies are different and only you know what’s best for your baby. I let her cry a little but always go to my child if she’s unhappy and I do hold her a little longer as she’s my only child. You do what works best for you and baby. You’re doing an amazing job!
Idc if my girls are 5 month 5yrs or 55 yrs. I will always be there for them when they cry. Long as im living
1 Like
You can not spoil a baby!!! They need to be soothed and know that they are safe and loved. They grow in a blink of an eye. They will not be babies for long. They should not have to self soothe themselves. That’s what we as parents are for to let them grow up knowing they are safe and loved.
Let your mama instincts take over everyone can tell you their opinion and helpful advice that works for them but at the end of the day nobody knows your baby like you do you may not know it but you got this just go with the flow and follow your gut 
mama knows best always!
I am a mama to 5. I have co slept and run to my babies whenever they cried. I have 4 fiercely independent daughters who are 15, 12, 10 and 8 who like to do their own thing but also still need a cuddle. Our youngest is 11 months and our only boy. He co sleeps and mama is always there when he cries. He also goes off to play by himself and is very content on doing his own thing. I read somewhere that says as adults, we choose to not sleep alone, we choose to find comfort from others and we choose to be held when we want our needs met. Why should a tiny human who is just learning the world be left to deal with it on their own? In the end, you are the parent and the choices are yours, but how long to we get to cuddle and show love to our littles before they don’t want to cuddle with mama anymore? 
1 Like
I didn’t let my kids self soothe, and we co slept. My kids are very well behaved and have no issues now when I go to work, or it’s quiet play time while I read a book for a little bit.
1 Like
Girl my first 2 I tried it by the book kinda thing not letting them sleep with me and when the woke up and came to my bed for comfort put them back in there bed self soothe thing ha tell that to my second born son when he’s screaming until you walk around for what seemed like an hour in his car seat bouncing it in order for him to go back to sleep ugh with the 3rd and 4th I tossed it out the window co sleeping so I could sleep was what I did and the 3rd one just turned 6 she sleeps in her own bed in the room with her sister and the 4th well he’s only 3 so he still sleeps with mommy and daddy soothe older 2 crawl in the bed with mommy and daddy not all at the same time of course but point is don’t let anybody tell you how to parent as long as you’re taking care of that baby forget about other people you will develop your own way
2 Likes
I never let my boys self soothe. But I also didn’t run to them as soon as they cried. I’d finish what I was doing and then go to them. Check what’s going on and react accordingly. Every child is different. How you react to their actions is what they remember. Even at a young age. My boys grew up to be independent. I was still around them, but I allowed them to figure out on their own what to do. My niece and nephew grew up constantly having someone at their every whine. Now, they can’t be left alone for a second. They constantly need someone holding them or in sight. Sorry, this mommy doesn’t have time for that. You need to learn to entertain yourself.
You do what feels right for you. This is your baby. And the time you have with him is precious and priceless. He will never be this young again. YOU control what you want for your child. There is no wrong or right way. If it feels right you are what’s right for both of you. Spend that time together
I never let my kids cry as babies. But now that they are older they can go sit in their room and cry cause i aint having it. They usually get their attitude together and come right back out. But as a baby they dont understand why you are leaving them alone and as a mother id never leave my infant child feeling like their mommy left them alone when alls they wanted was you. Im pregnant with my 5th baby and my kids are awesome people.
I didn’t let me children cry. I comforted and calmed them. I would play soft music or drive them around in the car until they fell asleep. I eventually discovered that brushing their hair for a while before bed would relax them enough that they slept well.
1 Like
I didn’t sleep train my boy untill he was 1. On day 3 and not to much tears he got it sussed! I think its when you are ready to do that step! dont let any one let you feel guilty for cuddling your child😊 i will still of hes sick or just wants a cuddle pick him up and give cuddles they don’t stay little for long!
You are the mom. You do what you feel is best for your baby and yourself. Don’t worry about what others think, say or do, just do what works for you. There will be conflicting evidence and opinions no matter what you do.
I deeply regret not listening to my momma instincts and reaching for my baby each time they cried. I know that each day is long, but the years fly by! You being there whenever they need you is such a small portion of your life, but it’s all they know.
Depends on his age. Self soothing is an important thing for babies to learn, if they never learn it they may struggle with handling emotions alone later.
Isolation isnt the same as self soothing folks. He doesnt need you for every whim.
I am 45 years old, mom to 3 full time employee, and wife. When I’m stressed or struggling NOTHING makes me fell better then just sitting next to my momma. No need to even speak, her presence soothes me.
I never self soothed, I coslept, nursed for 2 years per child,I became the baby’s human pacifier because I did what worked for me! Don’t let others dictate how you mother or raise your baby. Honestly it’s nobody’s busy except for you and your partner! Good luck and follow your mama instincts!!
You have to create a strong, confident foundation first, before you teach a child to self-soothe. They need to learn that they can depend on you and feel confident their needs will be met. That takes time. I did the whole “self-soothing” thing with 1 of my 3 kids and it’s the biggest regret of my life. His anxiety is so high and his confidence is still shook to this day and I 100% believe it’s because we did this.
Just don’t let a child run your life . If he need comforting comfort him if he needs a hug hug him but let him know you are the boss let him sleep in a crib in his own room .
A few minutes, but that’s it. Self soothing is ridiculous. They need to know you are there for them when they need you. Each child is different, and you can trust your instincts.
I admit my oldest needed me more, and my youngest was more independent. She didn’t cry like her big sister.
Hug those babies when they need you!
Never mind what other people say just love your baby and sooth him whenever you want i had one child and i soothed him all the time hes know 20 and turned out to be a fine young man
Ya I didn’t let them self sooth … they r independent loving teens who r mama’s boys… I ain’t complaining
To me that’s torture i wouldn’t be able to let him “cry out” I carry my nb everywhere , he sleeps with me and if I need to do stuff I put him in my carrier. I did this with all my boys, time flies !by the time they start crawling they won’t want you to carry them, they are gonna want to explore. Enjoy them while they’re small because it doesnt last so long 
I never did it. In fact, I held him so much people actually told me to put him down. My baby, I can do what I want. I never “sleep trained” or any of that either. I always rocked him to sleep and picked him up when he cried. Everyone and their mother is going to have an opinion on how you raise your baby. It’s annoying. Do what you feel and don’t worry about it.
I do not believe that letting them.cry it out is what’s best for the child. All you are doing is making them think that if they need help nobody will come for them. Eventually they do stop crying. What happens when they are really hurt or in danger & they dont cry because they believe that nobody will come for them.
My kiddo is 6…never left to cry, never forced to sleep train, or be alone. Many sleepless nights for me but I’ve given her a bond that will last a lifetime. I lied to her ped when asked if she slept through the night at 6 months, and co-sleeping was a norm for us. Shes 6 and is a well rounded good kid. Does she still wake up at 3am. Sometimes but so do I. Does she still want to crawl into my bed. Yes and it’s ok. I’m her comfort. I wish my mom was closer some days. I feel its personal choice what you choose to do. My upbringing was a 360 of what I choose to do as the parent, and I’m ok not being what society deems normal.
I have 8 my oldest is about to be 32 in July… My youngest is 7… I’ve never used those kinds of techniques… And if I had to do it all over again… I still wouldn’t. YOU can soothe your child better than you letting them do it themselves… all mine are just fine… #GurlYouGotThis
Girl your instincts are telling you what to do! You are a great mom…you get that baby and hold him and cuddle him and let him know that his mom is there and he never has to worry … because that’s how a baby learns that he can trust people,that’s how he will learn “hey I don’t need to freak out bc my mom doesn’t have me all I have to do is make a little noise and she’ll be here in a snap” so he feels good about playing and enjoying his time rather than freaking out bc he constantly feels alone and he picks up that the more he cries the less they come get him… Leaving an infant to cry it out seems so sad and absurd to me… I have 4 kids… 3 of which are 6 and up … they were wonderful babies and they’re great kiddos now! They’re so much fun and have great imaginations and are totally fine spending time by themselves or with people… They don’t need constant attention or whatever people think happens when you soothe your baby! They end up making the same child they think they’re trying to prevent!
I’ve heard this before coupled with ‘you will spoil them if your always running to them the moment they cry.’
I can’t shout this loud enough. YOU CAN NOT SPOIL A BABY. They need all your love and attention.
You know whats best for your baby. Everyone always think they know best, but you know your child best and what is best for them. You’ll know when they, and you, are ready for self soothing.
You do whatever you feel is best for your baby…its your child …you know that baby better then anyone…just nod and go about your business when others give advice…i stand with you
If I was crying, I’d hope someone would come and help me. Babies need to 1st learn to trust and rely on someone.
Your his mum do what your instinct tells you pick him up comfort him do what ever it takes to soothe him. This time goes by so fast make it great for you and him
I think the rule of thumb is when it comes to babies and self-soothingthere’s a time. That if they don’t settle down then chances are they need their diaper changed or they’re hungry or they’re just downright unhappy I think they call that the Bradley method and I would say that. Give it give it about a minute 2 minutes and if they don’t settle check out the check that diaper and see if they’re
1 Like
You have to do what feels right for you… my daughter had colic so I spent every night of her first 7 months rocking her and dozing with her on my chest in a rocker. Her father was no help. After that I let her self soothe… the first night was hell and I ended up with her on my chest in the rocker anyway. Second night she fussed (not screaming, just fussing) 5 minutes and slept through the night.
1 Like
Do what you feel is comfortable doing. There is no right or wrong way with soothing your baby. When I had my first child I didn’t want to let her self sooth but my husband at the time pushed for it, it was a really stressful experience for me. When I had my second child I didn’t do it and was content with that
Trust me. Husband never put ours down or encouraged self play. Having to learn it’s ok to be by yourself years later.
Don’t worry about what other people tell you!! That’s their own opinions. You do you!!! Be the best mommy you can be and do whatever you feel is right for you and your baby!!! People need to learn to mind their own business and stay out of it; its your child not theirs! Love on that blessing, cuddle that baby, make that blessing feel loved and safe in their mommas arms!!
I have 4 adult children that are well adjusted. I had all of them sleep w/bcz I nursed them. We all slept better. I always picked my kids up when they cried. So I vote for more love ESPECIALLY RIGHT NOW!
Self soothing is important because it teaches them they dont have to be codependent and they say not allowing them to self soothe can lead to emotional issues later in life but I wouldnt say u NEED to let them at least once in a while until they are 6+ months. U cant “spoil” a baby younger than that. They need that affection just as much as they need to be fed and changed. It teaches them emotional bonding and shows them safety and security. But at some point it is important to allow self soothing at least on occasion. I have always ran to my babies every time they cried and picked them up or at least interacted with them until at least 6 months and then occasionally would let them self soothe. My oldest is now 7 and my 4th is 1 month old right now. My husband get irritated that I will pick her up every time she cries just cuz she wants held and let her sleep on my chest or just cradling her but that’s what babies need sometimes. Just go with ur gut. Whatever u feel is best for ur child. Mother knows best. Even if it is ur first we have instincts for a reason.
I didn’t let my kids sleep with me, but they were trained so it was never an issue… I knew their cries so if it was a needy cry I did what a mother feels necessary. I am raising my 8 year old granddaughter, she has slept with me since she was a few months old. My kids were fine, and my granddaughter is just a snuggler. Plus, I got soft in my old age until this menopause!! DO WHAT YOU FEEL IS BEST FOR YOUR BABY. WE ALWAYS MAKE MISTAKES IT MAKES THEM STRONGER
Don’t listen to what anyone says. I find that because I didn’t let my baby/child CIO, that he actually was more independent and felt secure. He is 4 now, and extremely confident, social and happy. They are only babies for such a short time. Listen to your gut and do what you feel is best, not what anyone else says.
Trust your own instincts. Both of my children needed different things so I raised them differently. One wanted to be in her own bed with her own space and if she cried I knew she needed something quick. The other needed to be close to us always and would have never felt safe if we let her cry. Like a lot of us said, do what is best for you and your child.
Honestly do what feels right, every baby is different and every mom is different. You choose what is best for your child. There’s alot of facts on both sides of the coin, with my second child I went to him whenever he cried, my first I didn’t. It’s mamas choice and if anyone tried to shame you, I hope you know that it is a problem within themselves and has nothing to do with the choice you make. Stay strong follow your gut instinct
I have had 4 children and I would run to them every time they cried and the sleep in bed right next to mine cause I was always afraid to roll on them but you you as you need to for your baby love and cuddle them they grow so quick
1 Like
Do what feels right to you momma. For me, I never let my son cry if avoidable. I felt like if he was crying he was trying to let me know he needed something even if that was just comfort. Now, he’s 5 and still a mommas boy but fiercely independent. Not only does he wanna do it for himself but he wants to help me do it too. We didn’t sleep train, and at 5, he’s still in my bed about 1/2 the time, but the other 1/2 when he’s in his bed, it’s not a fight it’s his choice. People used to tell me I was spoiling or ruining him too but I just don’t feel like you can possibly love them too much lol. If your instincts tell you your baby needs you, go pick him up or give him a cuddle don’t fight that to please other people.
Go with whatever feels right in your gut for you and your child.
You’re going to get a lot of conflicting advice from people, on here and out in the world because everyone is different. There is no ONE right way to parent because everyone is different and our relationships our different. Whatever you do with this child may not even work if you decide to have another.
You’re a good parent and you’re doing a good job! Trust yourself and allow yourself to learn and grow with your beautiful baby!
I think you should do whatever makes you comfortable. If your sanity can deal with all of it so be it. If he’s been up fifty times and your exhausted last there a minute. As long as you know he’s ok and safe. You do whatever you are comfortable with.
Go to your baby when she or he needs you. Don’t feel guilty about it their babies for such a very short time. If it’s just a moment or two don’t worry about it but I certainly wouldn’t let my baby feel that it was was helpless to even be able to call for love and attention and not be there
I always say a couple mins never hurt. Sometimes when we react to the crying kids tend to do this everytime they want anything. I do feel as though moms know their own kids best. If you think HE needs it then by all means run to his side. If you are doing it for you though…might wanna test the waters of letting him cry a bit.
Anything like that is not gonna work after 2020 how people got really isolated ? Do you think even a alone matured adult can survive without some kind of comfort , this is a total crap who ever says that if you don’t want to grow them into insensitive humans you need to be sensitive towards them … even research has shown child’s who were left to cry had a prolong mind damage … So please don’t fall in such pits …
I don’t normally comment on these things but only YOU know what is best for YOUR baby. Do what you feel is right.
1 Like
Theres a difference between letting him self soothe and letting him scream bloody murder. Being an attentive mother is not a bad thing. Being over attentive can create another set of issues. How old is he? If hes under a year. It’s fine. Maybe take a little longer to get to him. A little crying isnt going to kill him. And sometimes it is helpful. Sometimes it’s not. Do what’s best for you and your child.
Listen to your Momma heart. You got this. Attachment is very important for healthy emotional development, and helping your babe know you are there when they need you is a way to foster that. Maybe you can’t always give them what they “want” right at that exact moment (as long as their needs are met), but you can go to them and let them know you hear them, and are there for them.
Rachel
Trust and follow your motherly instincts. We’re not perfect but we were made to love on our children. Anything that discourages that is unnatural.
Trust your instincts. Pick up and cuddle your baby as often as you want, kids learn to be independent as you implement little rules as they grow older each year. I have 4 very independent kids, who I have picked up with every cry, no matter how tired I was. It gives them a feeling of comfort, myself a feeling of sanity. You are the nurturer, if not you, then who?
Treasure these moments, they are precious❣.
Don’t listen to others, everyone is ready to give you advice, some don’t take their own advice, or are bad parents, you take care of your baby the way you want to. If they don’t like it, they shouldn’t stick their nose in your business.
My eldest slept with me a few hours every night… He’s now 11 and not a “needy” child but very affectionate and very proud of the bond we share. I don’t believe that you’re spoiling your child… You’re mothering him and that’s kinda the point. 
you do what works for your family.
I have a 12 year old who slept in the bed with me, was always with me, and I laid with her to go to sleep even once she outgrew my bed. Shes amazing, Independent and smart as heck. She loves sleeping in her own room and going places and growing up just fine. So for my 3 year old I don’t stress it. When she wants to crawl in my bed I let her bc i know she will grow up and be just fine. But I can say both my girls know they are loved and when they need a hug mommas got one for them and they love spending time with me and know they can count on me. We are here to love our kids. They will grow up before you know it so hold them while they are still little.
I had my babies in a bassinet near my bed then their cribs but they were both great sleepers. I will say both my kids are very affectionate and also super independent, not sure if that had anything to do with it. Honestly, everybody and their baby is different. I would do what feels right to you. Good luck mama
If you go to an adoption ward in foreign hospitals no baby cries because no one comes.
Cherish your children do the best you can 
you are an excellent Mother
How old is your baby. That makes a difference. There are times you should run and times you should let cry a little. It depends on the age and your comfort level. In all honesty you should do what it right for you and your child
Do as you please. And what makes you feel the best . It’s your child. Your the mom. There is no right or wrong. We all parent differently.
I didn’t let my son cry and I slept with him on my chest until he was 3 years old so do what you want to don’t let anyone tell you what to do
It is YOUR baby! Do what makes you most comfortable. Babies cry because they want or need something. You are the mom it is your job to help, and even if the baby just needs to see you, then go stand in the room so they can see you. Do what YOU feel is right. Babies dont come with instructions so we have to trust our gut! You are doing fine, keep it up super mom!
Comfort your baby. They still turn out independent. Mine did. I never let them cry. They knew they could count on being nurtured.
I dont think its natural to let your child cry for extended periods of time. I think its cruel. The only way for babies to communicate is by crying. They are trying to communicate a need, and needs can be emotional too.
No,. Babies think they are part of you. Around 9 months they will learn they aren’t attached to you. It’s a very difficult phase for them because they fear you might leave them. Listen to your heart. They are only babies for a little, enjoy it while it lasts.
Best advice I was given when I first became a mum, you will be told and given so much advice but at the end of the day DO what YOU think is right for YOUR child!!! No ifs or buts!!! Do what YOU feel is right 
my oldest is 18 and youngest is 3… Still have NO IDEA what I’m doing
1 Like
I kept my girls with me till they were ready to sleep on their own. They are now 14 and 16 sweet loving girls, honor roll students, and very independent but still come get love and cuddles
I always ran to my babies when they cried. They are grown now and I haven’t scarred them for life. Do what you feel is best.
Love that baby up. Idk why ppl say that. It’s ok to pick em up when they cry. They want ur love an affection. I’ve never let my kids cry it out. An now both my kids like to cuddle. Be loved an they show their love to me. I have a friend who did the cry it out thing. An now her son is far from affectionate. I feel like it could make the child think why don’t my mommy hug me or love me like I see other kids get. Kids are smart. They think harder then we realize. Good luck. You’ll get it figured out. Do what I feel is best.
Nope. Care for that baby the way you want to. No one matters more than you.
I did not do the “self soothing” which is really just cry it out no matter how you spin it.
Here’s the scoop- they are babies. They need their Mama. They want their Mama. Why the heck not. It may be a little more tasking in you but it won’t last forever- I know, evening it feels like it will🤣 promise it won’t. Teaching a 2 yr old ways to calm themselves is totally different than a baby. Geezus.
Soothing is needed! We however struggle with my son not sleeping well and I feel like it because he co slept for so long. He does much better now but will be two next month and sleeps in his toddler bed right next to our bed.
I also struggle with what to do with our next baby, absolutely no crying it out but something different then our first. Mostly its because I just get “touched out” if that makes sense.
You don’t use the cry it out method with babies, that’s for toddlers who are being brats. When he gets to be like 1 and older you can slowly stop responding to all of his cries
With my first she was an amazing sleeper she slept alone, self soothed, however my other 2 were completely different do what makes you comfortable
No… be a mom and and don’t leave your baby to cry. They cry for a reason. Tend to your child…
1 Like
He is your baby. Who cares what anyone thinks! If you think self soothe is right do it. If you have a doubt it isn’t then don’t. He is your baby. Only you know what kind of love he needs and you set the boundaries.
You do what you feel is best for your child. Don’t let others dictate what you do. You know your child best.
I did not self soothe or cry it out with any of my kiddos. I nursed them to sleep and sat in their room after that if they had trouble getting to sleep. They all sleep through the night in their own beds. It was what worked for us.
Every child is different. I shared a bed with both of my boys as I’m a single mom. When they got into school they started sleeping in their own beds just fine… we even still have movie night and all cuddle and watch a movie …
I was told to do the same. Told I would regret it. I didn’t let my daughter self soothe and I don’t regret it one bit!!
Babies learn trust when their needs are met. I would be running as well!