It is healthy for baby to cry a bit. But when baby is crying, screaming and like that sobby grasp for air cry… That’s enough of self soothing. Generally you want to get to baby before they get to that point.
I always went to my kids. Made sure diaper was dry and feed them they would fall right back to sleep. I couldn’t let mine just cry.
Why do you think God made Moms??? So they could let them figure it out themselves as babies??? Nope. Know how far a baby can see when they’re born? The exact same distance from the breast to their Mama’s face. Babies need as much time next to Mama as they can get. #nuturing101
I had 4 kids under the age of 4 for almost a year and I didn’t self sooth. It’s not for everybody. When they are babies and they are crying they want something or need something. You are there to provide that. That’s their only means of communication. If you feel you must then try it a few days. If it doesn’t feel right don’t do it. My kids are now 32 20 and 2 28 year olds. They are and were fine.
Ok I have read everything people have said. Now as they slowly get older you’ll know when self soothing is needed. They do need to cry to develop there lungs, but it’s not that long. Like the most a minute or two. Or your busy with something and can’t get to them right away. He will let you know by the sound of cry. When it’s time for them to sleep in there own room try reading a story that they need to answer in the morning. Then sing or hum them to sleep. They know that you love them. They don’t need self soothing until they are ready and you’ll know when that will be. I’ve been raising children since I was nine and I think the hardest thing to learn is when they don’t want you to kiss that boo boo anymore.
Different things work for different families. I watched “Babies” on Netflix and it discussed studies that if you allow your baby to self-soothe it grows and develops the part of your brain that helps you deal with stress later in life. My aunt has 8 kids. All 8 are drug and alcohol dependent. Nobody else in the family is. When I was pregnant she told me that “people are going to tell you to let him cry. I never let mine cry for a second.” Her youngest daughter, who is in her 40s joked “Maybe that’s why none of us can handle stress or adversity.” I know it seems silly and she was just joking but it messed me up. None of her grandkids were soothed and there’s only one of them with a chemical dependency issue. It might just be a coincidence, but my five-month-old is a self soother.
You do what you need to do for your family. I did all these things when mine were small. Coslept, feed on demand etc.
Self soothing is not for me.
Forcing a child to self soothe causes a baby to go into flight or flight syndrome…pick that baby up, and never ever let go
I let my self-soothe, but if they didn’t stop crying after a minute or two I went and check on them.
I moved my then-15-month-old upstairs from my bedroom to put my newborn in the crib in my bedroom. The 15 m o McKenna Cried and cried at the change in environment but she had to get use to it. My oldest - who is now 25 - had a pacifier - a NUK - and I called it that, When she was three we weaned her from it with a struggle. “I want my NUK!” It’s not easy.
Unless you feel like you’re getting out of hand then soothe your baby. It’s impossible to spoil an infant. Ignoring your child’s cry literally changes the baby’s brain. It’s scientifically proven that baby’s who are held offten and co-sleep (not bed share) have bigger brains and develop better than babies who don’t.
My thought processes is they are only little for so long! My daughter slept in bed with me from Day 1 until she was 5, when my husband and I first moved in together. She’s 9 now. And I’m chopped liver lol. It KILLS me. We enjoy the occasional naps together though. In my opinion there is nothing better than being with your baby no matter how old.
Nope never not with my first or with my second. They never slept with me but I will never let them cry it out.
Infants only stop crying when they realize crying won’t help them get what they need… that being said there is no such thing as loving an infant too much. Go to them when they cry. Soon they will be 16 and won’t want anything to do with you.
Do what feels right for you and your child … there’s no manual that says to neglect your child or create abandonment issues to please others…
Cuddle and soothe that baby anytime you want! They are only babies for such a short time. Enjoy every minute! 
Not letting them learn to self soothe will make it very hard to leave them with a babysitter if needed
He is your baby. Do what your gut says to do. You can’t hug and cuddle one enough in my opinion.
Imagine how stressed you have to be to cry…it’s hard to self soothe…
I am doing that same thing and get told the same and now I wish I would of cause this working mom of 4 is trying to stop and now it so hard
My children are all grown and I’ll tell you in my belief you can never love, hold or comfort them to much. Although they will always need you they are only little for a very short time…spend as much of this time as you can snuggling them while they’ll still let you! Believe me it passes way to fast! Love and snuggle as much as you can! 
No. I’ve never let my babies ‘self soothe.’ Which basically means cry until they give up that you’re coming for them.
They are only little once and not designed to self-soothe. YOU are supposed to soothe little ones.
Do whatever your mommy instincts tell you I had 4 girls and each one was different some I took a few minutes everytime they cried and added a few more minutes to it each time some could go longer some couldnt each child is different if time doesn’t change then they need more attention go to them just keep track of time and see if it changes see if you can go longer or not but dont push it your doing great and remember that
Do what works for you. Don’t let judgy people get to you. Every baby is different so what works for one may not work for another
I would never leave my baby for self sooth…
that’s why baby loves thier mom too much because mother are always their for babies
You may notice different cries. Like the hungry cry or tired cry and then there is the get me out of this store cry which you should definitely listen too!
You cant really teach a baby how to self soothe.
It’s ok to hang outside their room for a minute to see if they stop crying on their own and go back to sleep. They usually do. But never just let a baby cry. Its mean and not healthy for them.
No i wont ever do that if the baby is an infant. there is no too much attention n love for a baby
Ummmm don’t listen to anyone, but yourself and do what you want with YOUR baby
You don’t have to do amy of this, it’s your choice how to mother your baby x
Well…it really just depends on the parent.
Neither self soothing nor comforting them are wrong.
Im on my 4th pregnancy and at some point.i do let them self sooth.
I slept with my children for a very long time and they are the most independent and confident kids I know 
As a mum we need to tune in quickly to the different cry sounds our wee bundles make. The bawl the house down l need food or my bum is annoying me or l have a wind pain need attention as soon as. The wee whimper or spaced out cry is more about is there anyone there to cuddle me and make me feel safe again. But you know when babies cry it means they need their humans to acknowledge that they are there for whatever purpose. A wee softly spoken there there wee lamb with a caress can be enough to settle a wee one who needs to sleep a bit more but if it doesn’t then baby needs more from us & we need to respond & check out all the things it might be. Babies don’t have stiff upper lips for a reason.They need us to help them make sense of the sensations they are experiencing. Please don’t let your baby lie crying. Check, soothe, cuddle, fix what’s wrong for them. We need to nurture,not ignore. Listen to your instincts. Your baby,your unique relationship because each and every baby is different . What’s right for you may not be right for everyone but babies cry for a reason and need calm caring responses to meet their physical needs and their sense of security that they are not alone. Plenty of opportunities in later life to feel ignored ,not listened to or not wanted.
My babies only cried when hungry, needed diaper change, sick, or teething…
#NewMom… What kind of example and impression are you building in your son’s memory for a future wife?
What kind of wife will have the patience or time after work to fulfill your son’s every freaken need bcuz u stop & drop on your tracks to spoil your first born???
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All babies are different. As long as you know they are not wet, hungry or hurting. Some babies cry just to be picked up. Only you can know what your baby needs.
Nope… Look up psychotic baby syndrome… I know grown up with it and they are difficult humans to deal with.
No. And this is coming from a staunch self soother. Hold those babies. Let them know you are a safe space. Co sleep. All of it.
So I have a 14 year old, 13 year old and a 2 and a half year old and I never let them cry it out and I co slept with them. I still do with my 2 and a half year old. And they are very independent and know that momma is always gonna be there for them. They are only littles for a little while. So might as well spoil em with love and let them enjoy the smaller things. Cus once they get older it can be an ugly world. but you do what feels right to you.
Please no bashing every does do everything the same. So here is my opinion.
My now 13 year old is happy and health. When he was born and til I tried this out and saw it work for him I say to try it out if you think best. From day 1 I was not getting sleep for almost a week at the time, my husband had a job of driving trucks all over our side of the state and worked long hours, so when he was home I let him sleep so he would sleep while driving. But I was a 1st time mom and had no ideas of tricks I could have used. He ate every 2 hours on the dot😫 and would take me 1.5 hours or 1 hour 45 minutes to feed him bump him and change diaper and try to burp him again. He had a hard time with gas. So I had 30 or 15 minutes to try to get sleep. 3 months I was going crazy. I was told of gas drops and they worked but he got used to me always holding him. I was told to let him smell a shirt of mine so he thinks he is on or around me. Had no dirty clothes they was all washed, but I gave him my pillow case laid it close to him and it worked. He didnt cry anymore for me. But he had to have the pillow case til 5 years old and just out grow it. Hope this helped. Like I said it worked for me but you may not want to try and that’s cool. Good luck💚
Eventually they’ll break away from you. Enjoy their neediness while it’s still there lol.
Are you speaking about during the day or night? How old is the child?
No never for me it made mine get gas and then they seemed like they felt bad.
It’s the way they communicate.
Depends on the age. Any baby under 12 months is a definite NO to self soothing
Do the Ferber sleep training not harmful and it’s for short times like at first for only 3 minutes or so it goes slow and doesn’t effect them negatively like the cry it out method or extinction
You can go at an even slower pace the. The chart they made
Follow you’re gut mama. I have 2 older children and my first I tried to do the self soothe method cause she cried all the time unless I was right there. I was too young to really know what I was doing. People told me if I held her all the time I would spoil her…so I listened. My son born 4 years later was a little different. He wasn’t quite as needy and was overall a good baby. My daughter and I had a hard time bonding and I believe some of her anxiety, and trust issues come from letting her cry it out. It took a long time for us to develop a strong bond with each other. I now have a almost 2 year old and I’ll tell you both my husband and I attended to her every cry and need. We didn’t ever listen to what other people had to say and she has her own independence!! We still rock her to sleep sometimes and let her climb into bed with us when she needs to!! Love your baby while he’s little! Give him all the snuggles and hugs and kisses you can! It will help him to be a more confident, caring, trusting, loving person!
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My kids are no 14 10 and 6. They all sleep in their own beds and are all very independent. But they all still know if they have a bad dream they can wake me up or crawl in bed. Your children will still be independent. You cant spoil a baby with comfort
I’ve been told this to. Ive been told that I “spoil” my babies. Ive always picked my children up when they cry. I have 4 of them. Ive always allowed my children to get in bed with me. Ive always responded to them. You can not spoil a child with too much love. They so learn to be independent on their own. I have a very independent 6 year old, an independent 4 year old, and independent 3 year old and my 1 year old is becoming independent too. They know that I will always be there for them and I will always be their safe habor. When they start to feel uncomfortable they look to me to make sure everything is ok. You listen to what your mama instincts tell you. Mamas know their children best. And don’t listen to those who tell you to ignore those instincts. Your baby is your baby, not theirs. Tell them to shove off and mind their own parenthood. Babies spend 9 months being is constant contact with you. It makes since that they take time to adjust to this new world where mom isn’t around 100% of the time, where things are cold and foreign, where there are new sounds and new smells, new sensations, it makes sense that sometimes they my need some extra comfort. Enjoy them wanted to be close to you for as long as possible, it doesnt last long. My 6 year old only wants to cuddle if she’s sick, same thing with my 4 year old, my 3 year old only wants to cuddle if he’s tired or not feeling good. It seems like it takes forever but its actually a short phase in the long run.
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Your baby’s literal only way to communicate is to cry. My kids are 8 & 10 and I did NOT let them self-soothe. They’re both very intelligent and self-aware individuals who are super clear on communicating their thoughts and feelings to me and to each other, and are extremely responsible. It didn’t destroy my life, I feel like it connected us more. There’s a super rad thing that happens to moms when they go to their babies while they’re crying. They learn their cues and understand each cry as it’s own language. You know if they’re uncomfortable, hungry, miss you, or frustrated. You learn these things. Don’t be defeated or overwhelmed, it’s normal to not know at first! But I will tell you one super duper serious piece of business— my kids are not spoiled from the love and care I gave them. There is literally no possible way to spoil a baby. When you go to them, you are telling them from the very first minute that their words are valid and their feelings are empathized with. You let them know that you are a safe place for them. You let them know they can always count on you. You help them understand that they are important and worthy of attention, kindness, understanding, and affection. You give them a healthy foundation of support. It’s beautiful!
up to one year you cannot give too much attention. at the one year mark start letting the self soothe until if the baby cries there really is something wrong.
How old is your baby?
Tell them that when you need their input you’ll ask but right now you need to trust your intuition and to please kindly respect thaf
Baloney. If you want to soothe your baby, soothe him. It doesn’t last forever!
Don’t listen to them! Listen to yourself and do what you feel is best for yourself and family.
I have always comforted or attended to my babies whenever they cry, especially in first year, it’s their only form of communication, and all they know is they need milk, nappy change and cuddles. Other than being sick, these are only reasons babies cry - to communicate they need one or the other. Also I co-slept with my babies quite a long time. In my belief, it’s all bonding and the more of it, the closer the bond. You only have them in their baby years a very short time, so do what you personally feel comfortable doing.
Comfort👏🏾 your👏🏾 baby👏🏾
You are his comfort and safe place. Babies need more than food and a clean butt, they want and need human contact.
My youngest is 2 slept in our bed until she was one, slept in our room until she was 1 1/2, now sleeps peacefully in her own room and bed. Not once did we have to do self soothing or cry it out. She was also breastfed, and now completely weaned at night time, no self soothing🤷🏾♀️
Never did it with any of my children.
They are only babies for so long, no need to rush independence.
Nope calm him. Unless you want him to let you self soothe when you’re old
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Let me give you another view, I slept with my mother and dad until I was about 6, I was scared to sleep alone. My Granmother came to live with us when I was 6 so I slept with my gmother. My grandmother died when I was 10 . I was made to sleep by myself after that. Scared every night. Took me forever to get to sleep. I always wanted to be like my friends and have my on room where I felt safe. I told myself if I had children they would never sleep with me and my husband unless they were sick. I wanted them to have their on room where they felt safe and secure. My two boys sleep in their bed from the time they came home from the hospital. They always had their bedroom where they was secure and happy. I made the best decision to help my boys be independent and loved.
Jeffrey Dahmers mom did the cry it out method on him if that tells you anything…
Always comfort your baby. Don’t ever let anyone tell you different.
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I have 5 boys. Ages 19-1 my first 3 were all 12 months apart, and I wore myself ragged because I didn’t let them self soothe at all. Not a single minute. Now as teenagers I see the difference. They all still cling to me, and I still can’t even take a shower without one of them coming to talk to me through the door. My 4 th son, I allowed to self soothe for up to 5-10 minutes at a clip. Never longer than 10 minutes. He is now the most independent of the older 4 and is only 11. Granted he still comes to me constantly because I am very close with all my boys, but he will work things out in his own more so than the others that never cried for more than seconds without me. There are so many factors in each kid’s personality though. You can only theorize why kids are the way they are. My 1 year old is extremely independent and he has 4 grown brothers and 2 parents who never let him even make a sound without being all over him. Just be the mom you’re most comfortable being. Do your best and let your babies know you love them. There’s no perfect way. You do whatever you feel comfortable doing, and don’t let anyone tell you differently.
They’re only little babies for a short time! I’ll like you for always I’ll love you forever …as long as we’re living my baby you’ll be…BUT you cant go back and hug and kiss and cuddle…my family co-slept as lo g as WE needed! My four children are successful well adjusted adults! I have four…spec ed teacher, electrical engineer, landscaper., and appliance repilairman… They are confident and still love their parents and grandparents! They often take care of me AND my mom! If you need tolime for you…its okay to let them self soothe for a bit…as long as that’s not the norm!
I’ve never done the self sooth thing. With either of my kids.
You are doing a great job. Never let anyone tell you different!
It’s a baby! You’re the only thing in the world that baby knows. Go love that baby!
Follow what you feel is right. Never 2nd guess yourself as a parent. You got this.
No, go to him when he cries. You’ll have an emotionally well-adjusted child and adult in the future.
Nope, never could. She’s 6 now, and she turned out great.
Not enough info. How old is baby?
You’re the momma you know what is best for your baby.
I will never regret giving my children all of the love and attention they wanted
Just snuggle your baby forever, you will never regret that 
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The time they are young goes by so fast do what your heart tells you.
always b there for ur baby let them grow with ur strong bond
No, listen to your instincts 
.
You do what you feel is right!
Just say Mind your own darn business!!! I’m the mom.
Do what YOU want. Mama knows best.
Do what you feel is right for you and your baby… they’re only a baby for a short time
Girl. You are the babies mom. Do whatever makes YOU comfortable.
They need cuddles and love. I think this self soothing crap is overated.
I have raised 4 kids, and have 6 grandkids. #1 it isn’t healthy for your child to sleep with you. #2 you will learn the difference between hurting, hungry, what diaper changed, and just want attention. I loved my kids unconditionally, but I also had the 1st 2 that were lacking 6 days of being 9 months apart. And the 2nd had chronic colic. There was no way I could pick up both everytime they cried. I would talk to them, go to them so they could see I was there, etc. But I had 1 going down for nap, when other was waking up, feeding one, then little later other wanted to eat, then nap rounds again, diapers to wash and dry ( couldn’t afford disposable) My husband’s cousin had twins, said twins were easier, they were on same schedule. But crying never was a issue except for 3rd, her dad had her spoiled and wanted held all the time. I couldn’t handle it, I had him take 2 older ones, and I let her cry it out, and got cleaning, laundry, and dinner going. She survived, and was very content little girl after that. She was actually easier and entertained herself better than the 2 older girls.
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Not many years you can cuddle your baby.
Don’t let your babies cry! They need your warmth, your contact!
I never not picked up a crying baby
It’s your baby. Do what you want
You do what’s right for your baby and you!!!
Facts you might need someone to keep him. Nobody going want to do it with all that crying
I never could do it.
For me it depends on the reason.
No moms are the same.
If you want to cuddle YOUR baby you cuddle 
Kids and infants need comfort.
Do what ever you feel is right for you and your baby
Independent??? It’s a baby!!! Be there…hold…feed…whaterever
I didn’t & don’t regret it.
Who told you this ? You do what you think is best
Food spoils babies do not. 
Do what you feel is right don’t let anyone tell you what to do