Where would the kids be if you go to work? At a daycare. Work up a plan. Research the price of daycare and how much you would make and any other expenses ( gas, travel, food, etc…) And try to talk about it. The bedroom - maybe figure a way of getting him to help. ( Idea, "if you bath the kids. We could have more time and energy for us.)
Good luck. Maybe start a date night where you get to get dressed up and go out together?
To play devils advocate - how are you going to leave if you’re only working 12h a week and have no family to help with childcare?
Not every disagreement needs to end in divorce. Talk about it and voice your side of it.
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Quit your job. Not the one with an income. The full time 247 job. Stop doing his dishes, stop doing his laundry. Stop taking care of him.
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You work harder than him taking care of them kid’s. That’s a full time and a half job. Sorry, but he sounds like a douchebag.
Then get a job have him pay child care see how that works out
Maybe another women is in mind and he needs a excuse, anything is possible, who knows 
He will learn its no joke your job alone will have to pay child care pretty fucked up true story plus price of livin is ridiculous
So you don’t contribute so looking after the children he wanted is not a full-time job ,meanwhile he’s travelling the country all the time having probably a good time at it to ,I’d dump his ass
Hmmmm. I left, best thing I ever did!!! Saved money and bought a little house of my own!!!
How selfish of him. Taking care of house and family is a full time job.
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Full time job plus… thats what it means to be a mom
One day dont do all the things he says are not work. He will see lol
My man prefers I stay home with the baby and tend to the house and her. I’m a full time student also but that’s 12 hours a week plus studying all week. Then tending to the house, the three dogs, my beautiful 1 year old, and my honey. It’s a lot. Every now and then he gets upset and says switch roles but he knows good and well the way it is, is the way it’s supposed to be. He could be stressed about money possibly? Still not a reason to be an ass but I’d talk to him and figure something out 
So stop doing the laundry, cooking and cleaning. And watch the kids only. He will get the message or then you walk with the kids.
Tell him to switch with you, keep the kids alive and have dinner for you while you go work. Otherwise he can go to hell lmao
You can message me anytime. I know how it is
Pisses me off how men think woman dnt work because there home rasing the kids,running the house cooking cleaning etc… would he rather hire someone and pay them to do all that so you can work. Honestly some men need a dam good hi 5 upside the face. There bloody Idiots.
He was angry and he wanted to hurt you. Or hes an ass and your arrangements need to change. Give him the cost of childcare and a weekly maid. Then go back to work.
I’m so sorry love 
. Just know that you did the right thing for your children. They will appreciate you later on down the line when they are able to understand what’s going on. You are a good mom, you’re worth it, and he wouldn’t be able to do it without you. Remember your worth! Remember that. What you doing you’re doing for your children and your family as a whole. Voice to him your feelings on a piece of paper and leave it for him. Because then there are no interruptions and he can’t cut you off. I hope things get better for you hugs .
When i was with my ex husband i used to work 3 day a week, 7 hours a day, my paycheck was between $500.00 to $700.00 depends on extra hours. He always said that that wasn’t a job because a real job it was full time. We divorced (best decision ever) now I am a stay at home mom, and I’m the one who manage our finances. A person who humiliates you in any way it doesn’t love, it doesn’t respect and it doesn’t value you, simply as that.
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My d.i.l. deals with similar attitude. I keep reminding him she runs the house, cares for the child, makes his meals…told him to pay her for her services. Is this worth leaving over? Need to work on that relationship ship.
Do you suffer depression that limits your daily abilities? It is something a lot of people deal with and there’s no shame in reaching out. Please seek help if this is the case
Leave for a week & let his ass figure everything out. Guarantee his attitude will change
Eww that’s just gross and he’s rude and disrespectful, caring for kids is much harder!!
I’d be pissed! I’m sorry your man is so stupid! How dare he not see all that you do!
Your husband sounds like a bitch boy
Leave. It won’t be any different. Just tougher with $.
Reading some of these comments, it seems we all have something in common.
I wouldn’t even roll out of bed for 12 hours a week. That’s a waste of gas. He is probably mad that he has to stay away from his kids all the time to provide for the family. And thinks if you would contribute, then he wouldn’t have to be gone so much. And the way you explain it, he is probably right. Maybe if you got a full time job, he could get one closer to home and be home every night for his kids. You say you feel like you was away from the kids too much, just imagine how he feels. And he probably blames you for it.
F*** that sh*t
Tell that dude to kick rocks! Don’t put yourself through that crap 
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Don’t let him rent space in ur head girl it Isn’t worth it he doesn’t realize that what u do is much harder and more stressful than any job on this planet than he doesn’t deserve to have u pack up the kids and go u shouldn’t feel like crap for staying and taking care of ur children ur home and I’m sure him too u deserve better… Good luck to u i Hope everthing works itself out… Stay strong mamma u got this… 
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You contribute way more than he does. Yes he may financially be there . But those kiddos will always remember whose there for them day in and day out! Us stay at home parents, our “job” never stops, no vacation,no sick days, no time off nothing. We do it all 24/7 365!! You are absolutely amazing girl!! Fix your crown and tell him to F off… like Madea says. “You can do bad allll by yourself” && be happier too!
Think it through and have an honest conversation with him.
He may be feeling overwhelmed as the sole breadwinner, but he needs to understand those were hurtful comments…and he must agree never to say those things to you again.
There’s a compromise in there somewhere. Don’t leave unless you both know you’ve given it all you got.
If he isn’t forthcoming about his feelings, ask him what does he need from you to feel safe to share.
Don’t give up easy, mama.
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Prayers for you all. Yes, you are contributing. You are a Mother, and also you keep the home fires going, even when he’s not home.
tell him you will start billing him for what you do, childcare, housework, cooking, cleaning. I would definitely talk with him about why he said what he said. Raising kids and preparing them for the world as adults is a huge job with no benefits, salary or days off so for him to compare your job to his job is ridiculous. Maybe he was having a bad day, stressed etc ??? He shouldn’t still say what he said but sometimes we say things we don’t mean when we are tired, upset, hungry etc. is this the first time he has said stuff like this?
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That’s absolutely rediculous. My finance works 12 hour nights and I haven’t contributed to our household financially in three years (since our daughter was conceived) the only person w shave to watch on our daughter is his mom and she works six days a week so in other words we have noone really to help with her. We have a son on the way due in November and again I haven’t worked in three years and won’t work until both kids are in school. He has never once told me I wasn’t contributing to our house or family. I’d be really upset because not only are you working what you can but you are also caring for your children and house while when is away doing God knows what. Absolutely rediculous.
Any time I see a husband or partner saying the one staying at home doesn’t contribute, I encourage them to bill the person for the realistic replacement of all services performed. Find how much daycare would be for each child, if you cook find replacement meal costs, if you clean find the maid costs. Realistically find out what your price would be for going back to work. I am a full time working mom who pays for daycare and that is 270 a week for a 3 year old. I order a meal kit service because shopping and putting together recipes was overwhelming, that’s 67 a week. I had to hire someone to mow the lawn in my place as I don’t have time and I’m too pregnant… me working has a cost. If I don’t make more than that cost, it would be better to not work. Thankfully I do right now. But he needs to realize you DO contribute and what it would be to replace you.
I personally would say ok ur right I don’t contribute…then the next day don’t do SHIT well except keep the kids alive lol but show him what it really means to not contribute. If he still just ughh then u have ur answer… leave
If you choose a working woman, you have to accept that she can’t handle the house full time.
If you choose a housewife who can take care of you and manage the home completely, you need to accept that she doesn’t make money.
If you choose a submissive woman, you must accept that she depends on you.
If you choose to be with a brave woman, you must accept that she is tough and has thoughts of her own.
If you choose a beautiful woman, you have to
accept expenses too.
If you choose to be with a great woman, you must accept that she is tough and firm.
No woman is perfect.
A woman has her own ′′ good thing ′′ that defines who she is and makes her unique.
- Unknown
I love this. I have had the same conversation with my husband repeatedly. I work roughly 14 hours a week outside of the home. I tell him “just because I don’t punch a time clock does not mean I don’t work!!!”. Unfortunately I got sick spent 4 days in hospital. He was left at home with family (6) and I have not heard that comment since.
Go get a written quote for daycare, or a bill for a nanny that cooks and cleans then show that to him. His mind may change really quick.
I just want to be devils advocate here and whilst we as mums can feel run down and underappreciated, so can men. Maybe he was just having a moment. He might be tired from work and feeling under pressure and just lashed out. In no way am I saying you deserved it. Let things cool down. Sit down and discuss it with him. We all have our days. Explain if he’s feeling pressured, you’re happy to help etc. But financially, given day care prices etc, it wont do much good. Maybe just letting him vent will calm it all down. Explain that his words hurt. Explain why. Adults in a healthy relationship need to communicate. If this is a one of occurrence, it’s not worth leaving your marriage over. However, if you are constantly being degraded and made to feel your job as a mother is not important, that’s a different situation entirely. I have been the single full time working mother and the stay at home mum. They are both such hard jobs and honestly there was no financial gain working full time due to care expenses. It’s a sad reality for most parents these days. You’re doing a great job mumma. No one, let alone your husband, can tell you any different.
Money aint everything its for greedy people if that’s more important than family to him I would totally leave.
Have your husband do your job at home and he will see how much you work
Sounds like an asshole to me. Run as fast as you can. You’ll thank yourself someday. PS- speaking from experience. You got it!
Look up “second shift” its a book about gender spheres and the extra work women do that goes unappreciated
God some men can be disgusting, I heard this comment over and over from my ex husband, hence the word ex!! A man who disrespects a mother’s job, the mother of his children isn’t a man.
Does he display this disgusting outlook on other things like the home, how u look etc.
What the f**k is wrong with you women?
That is what’s wrong with society today.
She don’t need to jump ship, what she need to do is have her husband take a few days off and have an adult talk with her spouse.
It takes 2 for a marriage to work.
Apparently, by what little was said they don’t have the income for daycare so she bevame a homemaker. Nothing wrong with that now, she is home alone with the children while he travels for work.
Sounds like these 2 need to sit down like adults and communicate.
Maybe, she wants him home more, maybe he likes his toys, maybe she likes the lifestyle.
Too, many unknowns and alot of you saying leave, which i on my opinion is wrong cause not enough information to make an informed opinion on how to continue with this marriage.
figure everything that you do out in an hourly wage broken down to the specific job it entails, daycare, cleaning and laundry (drycleaning isn’t cheap) I am certain he returns home and expects a clean house, hot meals, and his dirty laundry he has returned with done, while he interacts with the children, and hand it to him in a bill, see what his reaction is to that one. Without your partner working with you to build your family, the family structure does not hold. Learn to appreciate each other for what you do.
You didn’t say how old the kids are?
You raise the kids and keep the house going but you don’t contribute?? 
(To him, not you)
We will u ur supportive circle
That’s not a man. That’s a boy-child
Marriage is worth the work.
You contribute a whole lot by staying home with the children and you sacrificed your job in order for him to keep his. I would feel the same to be honest I’d probably leave. I’d move where there is childcare or support and go back to work. No need to feel that way and definitely no need to be in that environment that makes you feel unwelcome in your own home.
I would look up childcare in your area and present him with a invoice. So he sees exactly what your bringing to table
Do what I do… I tell my husband I’M gonna leave and im leaving the 4 kids with YOU… he changes his tune REAL fast lmao! I’m totally NOT gunna do that… but it works!
I wouldn’t blame you for leaving, honestly. He doesn’t value you and that’s disgusting. Take your time to get your ducks in a row. I’m so sorry.
Why would you leave your children over something a man says maybe get rid of the man
Money it’s not more important than family. Get a divorce and a big pension.
Do it. Leave him… what a stupid thing to say to the mother that is raising his children…
Maybe I read wrong.
You’re daycare and on top of that you work another 12 hours a week? What is he - 10 years old? TF? Working on top of being a stay at home mom And housemaker…that’s literally incredible. Maybe show him how much daycare costs and remind him you had to quit your job because it didn’t work with HIS schedule and work. What an ungrateful asshole. Honestly I hope he was just grumpy and having an asshole moment and doesn’t actually believe what he said… because if he does - I don’t know what to say other than leave. I’m so sorry. I hope you update us. You can always add me as a friend if you’d like. Love and hugssss 
Tell his ungrateful @$$ to cook his own food and wash his own clothes, etc.
Hes not the one for you. Get out.
As usual, I have no opinion. There are always 2 sides to a story. I’m sure something sparked that convo and that was the only thing taken from it. Sometimes I wish these weren’t anonymous so I could see what the partners have to say 
You contribute… you’re the mother. What a dick thing to say.
Just remind him! You work more then he does all day not just 8 hrs…… if he doesn’t appreciate you…. Find someone who does
I promise it’ll come, it’s all gods timing, my fiancé and I went through many heartbreaks and miscarriages, doctor after doctor, I have a daughter who’s almost 11 and was told I just couldn’t have anymore and needed a hysterectomy but we were patient and it happened when we didn’t expect it . I’m now 27 weeks, sending you all some pregnancy magic 
Prayers Mama ! Your time is coming don’t give up
My husband and I struggled for a few years including a miscarriage. What helped us was to stop trying and enjoy ourselves. Taking pressure off yourself helps your body de stress which help. So instead of thinking about what you should do to get pregnant just enjoy being with the one you love and sooner than you think it will happen:
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you’re going to be amazing parents
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Try positive affirmations and life style no negativity …only the belief system that you trust and believe the universe will giveback what positive thoughts you give it….
Take mucinex and hydrate while you’re ovulating
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Go on holidays and relax.
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I definitely understand how you are feeling but everything is Gods timing and no matter when or how your baby gets here you will look back and realise all the worry and slight resentment wasn’t worth it.
You’re feelings are valid so FEEL THEM but things will work out. Xxx
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Y’all are trying too hard. Quit focusing your sex life around trying to get pregnant and just have sex and have fun with it.
Been there. My doctor told me that I might just be one of those women who for no reason just don’t get pregnant. Went home started to think positively about living with just myself and husband. Thought of people I knew who had no children but went of great vacations and owned their own home, cars and even a cottage. I was pregnant the next month. Had a three year wait between first and second child. Though I must be hard to get pregnant. Eleven months later welcomed a girl and boy baby. I think they will come when they are ready. Hang in there.
Try to not focus on it so much because doing all those things going the extra mile just makes u more anxious the same happened to myself and Hubby and when we least expected it we were pregnant and then a year later again, God works and in His time be patient focus on just being happy together it will happen soon enough
Infertility is a medical condition and should be treated as such. I say this as a woman, who tried for 8 years to conceive, faced numerous surgeries, had five failed IUIs and one failed IVF, beat infertility and am the author of a book on the topic. There is no such thing as waiting it out. There is no such thing as “relax and it will happen” or “it just happened.” You have been trying for a while. You have been diagnosed with infertility. Now you need a proper treatment plan. There are many assisted reproductive therapies out there such as IVF, surrogacy etc. Explore this. Don’t give up. Speak to an infertility specialist and get proper advice. Good luck. Infertility can be beaten!!!
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Me and my partner were the same, I tried everything but after about 5 months trying. I said to my husband I’m going to stop all thr things I’m doing and if I’m not pregnant by my birthday then I’ll have the implant put back in. We then booked a night away just for some us time away from the kids as we already have 3 then tye next morning when we got home I felt very weird, so I took a test I was 2 weeks pregnant with my now little girl. Sometimes you need to give your self and break and don’t try too hard xx
I had a friend that was trying for nearly 5 years, when they gave up hope and was enquiring about adoption bamm she fell pregnant xx
Start taking folic acid now also I was the same over 2 years before I finally got pregnant did you come off contraception to try ?
I wanted a baby and my husband had a vasectomy 17 years ago. He is older than me and when we got together I thought it was fine for no more kids. Well after 10 years I started asking and he said no way. Our girls were about grown at this point. We adopted our son and he was 6 and I found out I was pregnant! His vasectomy must have came undone and I was antibiotics so birthcontrol didn’t work either. Hang in there good things will happen in their own time
I don’t know if you are but don’t track your ovulation & stuff it just puts pressure on you both, just go with the flow ! Do it when you are both randomly in the mood , not when a test tells you to x
Took me n my husband 7 years our baby boy is now 7 months old ik how u feel we thought it would never happen we started planning to move n start fresh then boom I found out we was pregnant took 7 long years lots of being down n crying just don’t think about it have fun n when u least expect it . It will happen I’ll b praying 4 u
Don’t focus in making a baby as it can stress you body out and not relax
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Stop trying so hard…sometimes the stress from trying and life is too much. It’ll happen
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Been there had a few losses as well and now we have Irish twins…we saw a few doctors was told everything was fine, I took Pregnitude sending prayers 
all in God’s timing
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I went thru this for the better part of 2 decades…true story. My husband and I have been together since 2002…married in 2006 and started trying immediately. Never happened for us. All the testing and specialist accomplished was infertility for unknown reasons. We gave up. 2017 I found out I was pregnant…SUPRISE, lmao. My daughter will be 4 in June.
I feel for you, its really hard to watch everyone around you get what you want. Stop trying… completely. Trying makes it miserable and all the more upsetting when nothing comes of it.
Professional massage has helped my clients
I’m sorry!! Sending you prayers for a new bundle of joy soon. 
Just breath alittle, stressing yourselves out over it can actually make it harder to conceive. If you haven’t tried it already, have intercourse everyday for an entire month, sometimes your ovulation can be out of sorts. All the best to you and yours.
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I have 3 kids my second on took us 4 years to conceive. Honestly I was so stressed about it that when I told my husband I wasn’t trying anymore I was happy with just one child bam 2 months later I am pregnant. Again with my daughter (3rd) I told my husband I didn’t want anymore kids after a certain age and so we began to try for our last child and he was about to schedule a vasectomy and bam I am pregnant. My oldest is 12 my middle is 8 and my youngest is 2. Honestly just don’t worry about becoming pregnant just enjoy the practice.
I think you should both relax and enjoy your love life more, you’re both anxious as the time is passing, please try and put your anxieties aside, enjoy your life together doing activities outside the home, going for walks etc whatever you bothe enjoy doing, then it will happen when you least expect it, I hope this helps you both x
Quit trying, you are stressing yourself out!
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Don’t stress it - it will happen
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Different things work for ppl.
Tbh I was told I couldn’t have kids because I have endometriosis, but I had sex on my monthly time an the condom broke and I was able to conceive then, now I have 3 kids an only get pregnant by doing it on my period…
So maybe try it on your period an see if that works? Basically a slip an slide for sperm. 
Try not to stress! My daughter got pregnant pretty easy the first time, but not the second. They even tried in vitro. The first time it didn’t work, and they tried again, and it didn’t. She was so frustrated! She decided to try one more time, but had to cancel because she got pregnant on her own! It will happen when you least expect it! Good luck!
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