Take the kids, and go home to your family. He is gaslighting you
Just wondering why he’s so rude about that when he’s the one traveling and working all the time 
No keep the job more hours… quit the man
Tell him to pay for a sitter so you can get a job. Men are suck dicks sometimes.
Or tell him to quit his job and you will work.
Clearly he doesn’t see your worth and doesn’t value what you do. I would lay it out flat for him not to speak down to you like that. It’s team work. You work in different ways then he does.
Wow show him your worth, go stay in a hotel all night and not let him know
Uh you are and he’s being very ugly and frankly he needs to be respectful.
Pack your stuff, get your kids and leave. I wouldn’t put up with that crap if that was me. I was married to a narcissist, manipulater and a cheater. File for divorce, while he’s gone on his work trips.
I’d leave. I’m a single mom. It’s hard but worth it to be rid of toxic jerks!
Tell him to FUCK off!!
You want to leave over that
Oops. No. Don’t duck him. U love him. Try. Then u can say u tried
I can see why. Disrespectful shithead.
1 Like
Leeeeave!!! And if he speaking to you like that, he has other agendas most definitely 
. Please leave mama you can do SO much better without him 
1 Like
Sending light and love sis, you’re doing a great job. If he can’t appreciate you, then follow your heart!
How TF not??? YOU are taking care of the house AND kids. TF???
Let that dumbass husband know that you are working 24/7 and your contributions is 24/7 of your time. You are not only a rife and a mother but you are a cleaner, a nurse, a chef, and laundromat, a shopper, a psychologist, a psychiatrist and very soon you be forensic doctor. His contribution compared to yours is jack shit. 
Tell him let’s do an experiment 
You leave him with the children for a MONTH.
Let him understand your value, actual monetary value, when he has to hire people to watch the kids during the day, nights, weekends, make meals, clean, errands, baths, EVERYTHING!
I guarantee, unless he makes half a mil a year, that the UNPAID jobS you do, that he would otherwise have to hire out, would bring it more income than his if you were being paid.
He’ll come CRYING. If you decide to go back to him, bring him a red ball moss because he’s a 
Pray for God’s guidance…
Get a full time job and a babysitter. I’d be pissed too
Talk it out make a plan.
Make him pay for daycare
Kick him in the balls
The auudacity of him!!! 
Hes an imbecile if he thinks you arent contributing. Leave him to his own devices so he sees exactly what you contribute.
Oh girl. That’s a narcissist. Leeeeeeeaaaave.
5 Likes
He is selfish . Tell him to give up his job and look after the kids and u work your 35 hour shifts. Let’s see if he can handle it! I hate men like this. They are so selfish!! Maybe if he loses you and the kids , it might wake him up!
Caring for your children may not be a job, but it’s your most important purpose. Their having you truly raising them is worth more than any amount of money and worth more than any unappreciative man. A good father would know better than to think that way. You’re a good mom! 
If you leave then how will you support your children? 12 hours a week isn’t going to do it. If you feel like you want to work more get daycare and work sucks that it has to be that way trust me I get it but we pay daycare for 3 kids so we can both contribute financially
Show him the price for childcare/housecleaning 
First I agree with you that you are being mistreated. You need to talk. Being a stay at home mom is a thankless task. Explain to him that you work from kids up to kids down and on call all night long. You are domestic care and cleaning as well as scheduling and chauffeur. Discuss what duties that he wants to take over when you go back to work.
1 Like
Start planning ur getaway and wait till u have saved money and have plan. Talk to him. Show him Cost of daycare and then find u a lil at home job. Save all ur money. Have plan before u leave. It’s hard out there now. Just avoid him if u can’t make him see what u do. Good luck. Amazon is hiring home workers. 18 hour. Prayers and good luck.
You take care of the kids that’s a 24 hour job. Some men don’t get it. I only work 15 hours a week because of a knee injury. And I try to do everything at home. Just keep doing the best you can. As long as your kids are taking care of then you are doing your job
Being a mommy and taking care of the house and all the responsibilities is a FULL TIME JOB! I think your man should appreciate you a little more. My hubs works 60 hours a week and prefers I stay home to run the house and everything that goes with it, and appreciates it. Your guy needs to step up or step out. 
You’re doing a great job mama! 
19 Likes
Sure you do you are raising a family, taking care of the home plus even your part time. He has a lack of respect for you.
12 Likes
Offer for him to stay home with the kids and you go to work full time.
11 Likes
If that’s the case…give him a price for everything you do…including sex! Since he doesn’t appreciate you enough… charge for cooking…cleaning…and laundry… don’t forget babysitting…that’s a full time job too… and if he can’t pay… since y’all married… invest in a raining day fund… 
27 Likes
That is so wrong you do contribute with the kids and house! My husband would never say such thing and I don’t work haven’t worked since December!
Im not saying he is right by any means, he should never downgrade you and be disrespectful. But maybe he is feeling very overwhelmed with the financial responsibility. Stay calm and talk to him. Express how it made you feel.
4 Likes
If your not wanted or appreciated go where you find love support and happiness
There’s allot of studies that show being a full time parent in itself is lime working 2 full time jobs. On top of that you’re working a part time job to help with money as well. He should definitely be grateful you’re doing amazing momma 
if you’re at your wits end then nothing anyone says is gonna stop you from leaving him but if you feel like he has the means to change his perspective maybe educating him with articles and studies could be helpful. My partner felt the same way about me staying home with our kids (even though day care was more expensive than it was worth for me to work) until covid and then he lost his job and got stuck home with us and saw EVERYTHING I put up with daily. He helps so much now we really distribute so much of our house work and child care as evenly as we can now. Sometimes it takes showing them and if that’s not enough then nothing will ever be.
1 Like
He could be upset that he does have to travel a lot for his job, even though he may love what he does. You do have the best position in a relationship, being a mom. It’s hard, long days that are rewarding. There could be something he isn’t happy with about his life. Sounds like you two really need to talk and find out what the real problem is. He might being overwhelmed
2 Likes
Get a secret work from home job save your money and leave! He obviously doesn’t appreciate all that you do!
13 Likes
being a stay at home mom is a huge contribution!!
Unless he can walk in your shoes, he will NEVER understand what an important job you have. Never stop believing this. I don’t think that there is a stay at home parent that hasn’t felt unappreciated and misunderstood at some point. As women, we do see a vast difference in wages between the sexes. I would say switch places, but that may not be an option. 
I just want to affirm that you should never feel as if you’re not contributing. Love from Michigan’s Upper Peninsula 
3 Likes
Relationships are teamwork. If you’re caring for the kids THATS WORK and a HUGE CONTRIBUTION rather than you working to pay for child care. I married a man like that and HAPPILY DIVORCED HIM too 
3 Likes
Dont do anything for him and him only. Dont wash his clothes, dont do his dishes, dont clean any of his things, dont buy anything when he runs out. See how quickly he changes his “you dont contribute” attitude
2 Likes
Take care of the children. Give it a little more time. Try talking to him without being in an upset mood. A calm discussion of what you need. If all fails you still can decide on divorce. I know couples who have had rough times but they worked things out and are very happy.
1 Like
Let him take care of kids and work…see how he does haha, kids are a job
Rose. Now how would you know… but yes! It is alot of work. I went through it.
1 Like
You do work 247 your a mommy.so dont be down on yourself.
Because caring for your children isn’t contributing???
I would say I will get a full time job and we split daycare costs. My daughter has 2 in daycare $400 a week is what she pays.
My husband told me the same thing even though I worked for the IRS for 10 years, and 2 years making diesel exhaust fluid, 14 years at the horse races. So I got a full time job again just to shut him up while he sits home on disability!
My husband does the same to me . We have 7 kids , recently only 5 at home (plus their friends ) we have dogs , chickens , cats and he brags because he makes the money that he’s the one that provides . I do house keeping n dog sitting on the side just to get out . He travels for work and is gone at least 60% of the time . When he gets home (after approx every week to 10days gone ) he wants to do nothing so I have to add him to my to do list . Oh and he says I need to persue him in the bedroom … i don’t even sleep in the room with him cus I’m busy putn kids n animals in bed while he watches movies …He’s very ungrateful. Now he drinks and goes bar hoping and to after parties and ignores my calls and does this while I’m home sick in bed . I’m so depressed and overwhelmed that when he’s home I avoid doing things cus he just sits n watches tv . Now he complains that I sleep too much .
4 Likes
Is your house clean? Is your kids taken care of? Do you take care of all the odds and ends things while he’s working? Then yes, you have a job and he has no right to say that to you.
4 Likes
Hell leave with your kids , it makes all bs nonsense go away like him !!! How rude & disrespectful of him !! I’ve raised my own & work 46hr wks & I felt better being a single parent honesly cus my kids gave me more luvv& attention that I would never get from him , Me & my kids was close & had enough love , laughter to go around !! It was my happy ending of a love story about me & my 2 kids !!
Tell him to be a dady day care see if he copes with the kids easier to goto work be a big eye opener
do a spread sheet for him. Kids. laundry grocery store bathes etc. put worth. show him it’s cheaper for you to be a full time mom.
Where would the kids be if you go to work? At a daycare. Work up a plan. Research the price of daycare and how much you would make and any other expenses ( gas, travel, food, etc…) And try to talk about it. The bedroom - maybe figure a way of getting him to help. ( Idea, "if you bath the kids. We could have more time and energy for us.)
Good luck. Maybe start a date night where you get to get dressed up and go out together?
To play devils advocate - how are you going to leave if you’re only working 12h a week and have no family to help with childcare?
Not every disagreement needs to end in divorce. Talk about it and voice your side of it.
1 Like
Quit your job. Not the one with an income. The full time 247 job. Stop doing his dishes, stop doing his laundry. Stop taking care of him.
2 Likes
You work harder than him taking care of them kid’s. That’s a full time and a half job. Sorry, but he sounds like a douchebag.
Then get a job have him pay child care see how that works out
Maybe another women is in mind and he needs a excuse, anything is possible, who knows
He will learn its no joke your job alone will have to pay child care pretty fucked up true story plus price of livin is ridiculous
So you don’t contribute so looking after the children he wanted is not a full-time job ,meanwhile he’s travelling the country all the time having probably a good time at it to ,I’d dump his ass
Hmmmm. I left, best thing I ever did!!! Saved money and bought a little house of my own!!!
How selfish of him. Taking care of house and family is a full time job.
1 Like
Full time job plus… thats what it means to be a mom
One day dont do all the things he says are not work. He will see lol
My man prefers I stay home with the baby and tend to the house and her. I’m a full time student also but that’s 12 hours a week plus studying all week. Then tending to the house, the three dogs, my beautiful 1 year old, and my honey. It’s a lot. Every now and then he gets upset and says switch roles but he knows good and well the way it is, is the way it’s supposed to be. He could be stressed about money possibly? Still not a reason to be an ass but I’d talk to him and figure something out 
So stop doing the laundry, cooking and cleaning. And watch the kids only. He will get the message or then you walk with the kids.
Tell him to switch with you, keep the kids alive and have dinner for you while you go work. Otherwise he can go to hell lmao
You can message me anytime. I know how it is
Pisses me off how men think woman dnt work because there home rasing the kids,running the house cooking cleaning etc… would he rather hire someone and pay them to do all that so you can work. Honestly some men need a dam good hi 5 upside the face. There bloody Idiots.
He was angry and he wanted to hurt you. Or hes an ass and your arrangements need to change. Give him the cost of childcare and a weekly maid. Then go back to work.
I’m so sorry love 
. Just know that you did the right thing for your children. They will appreciate you later on down the line when they are able to understand what’s going on. You are a good mom, you’re worth it, and he wouldn’t be able to do it without you. Remember your worth! Remember that. What you doing you’re doing for your children and your family as a whole. Voice to him your feelings on a piece of paper and leave it for him. Because then there are no interruptions and he can’t cut you off. I hope things get better for you hugs .
When i was with my ex husband i used to work 3 day a week, 7 hours a day, my paycheck was between $500.00 to $700.00 depends on extra hours. He always said that that wasn’t a job because a real job it was full time. We divorced (best decision ever) now I am a stay at home mom, and I’m the one who manage our finances. A person who humiliates you in any way it doesn’t love, it doesn’t respect and it doesn’t value you, simply as that.
1 Like
My d.i.l. deals with similar attitude. I keep reminding him she runs the house, cares for the child, makes his meals…told him to pay her for her services. Is this worth leaving over? Need to work on that relationship ship.
Do you suffer depression that limits your daily abilities? It is something a lot of people deal with and there’s no shame in reaching out. Please seek help if this is the case
Leave for a week & let his ass figure everything out. Guarantee his attitude will change
Eww that’s just gross and he’s rude and disrespectful, caring for kids is much harder!!
I’d be pissed! I’m sorry your man is so stupid! How dare he not see all that you do!
Your husband sounds like a bitch boy
Leave. It won’t be any different. Just tougher with $.
Reading some of these comments, it seems we all have something in common.
I wouldn’t even roll out of bed for 12 hours a week. That’s a waste of gas. He is probably mad that he has to stay away from his kids all the time to provide for the family. And thinks if you would contribute, then he wouldn’t have to be gone so much. And the way you explain it, he is probably right. Maybe if you got a full time job, he could get one closer to home and be home every night for his kids. You say you feel like you was away from the kids too much, just imagine how he feels. And he probably blames you for it.
F*** that sh*t
Tell that dude to kick rocks! Don’t put yourself through that crap 
4 Likes
Don’t let him rent space in ur head girl it Isn’t worth it he doesn’t realize that what u do is much harder and more stressful than any job on this planet than he doesn’t deserve to have u pack up the kids and go u shouldn’t feel like crap for staying and taking care of ur children ur home and I’m sure him too u deserve better… Good luck to u i Hope everthing works itself out… Stay strong mamma u got this…
1 Like
You contribute way more than he does. Yes he may financially be there . But those kiddos will always remember whose there for them day in and day out! Us stay at home parents, our “job” never stops, no vacation,no sick days, no time off nothing. We do it all 24/7 365!! You are absolutely amazing girl!! Fix your crown and tell him to F off… like Madea says. “You can do bad allll by yourself” && be happier too!
Think it through and have an honest conversation with him.
He may be feeling overwhelmed as the sole breadwinner, but he needs to understand those were hurtful comments…and he must agree never to say those things to you again.
There’s a compromise in there somewhere. Don’t leave unless you both know you’ve given it all you got.
If he isn’t forthcoming about his feelings, ask him what does he need from you to feel safe to share.
Don’t give up easy, mama.
3 Likes
Prayers for you all. Yes, you are contributing. You are a Mother, and also you keep the home fires going, even when he’s not home.
tell him you will start billing him for what you do, childcare, housework, cooking, cleaning. I would definitely talk with him about why he said what he said. Raising kids and preparing them for the world as adults is a huge job with no benefits, salary or days off so for him to compare your job to his job is ridiculous. Maybe he was having a bad day, stressed etc ??? He shouldn’t still say what he said but sometimes we say things we don’t mean when we are tired, upset, hungry etc. is this the first time he has said stuff like this?
1 Like
That’s absolutely rediculous. My finance works 12 hour nights and I haven’t contributed to our household financially in three years (since our daughter was conceived) the only person w shave to watch on our daughter is his mom and she works six days a week so in other words we have noone really to help with her. We have a son on the way due in November and again I haven’t worked in three years and won’t work until both kids are in school. He has never once told me I wasn’t contributing to our house or family. I’d be really upset because not only are you working what you can but you are also caring for your children and house while when is away doing God knows what. Absolutely rediculous.
Any time I see a husband or partner saying the one staying at home doesn’t contribute, I encourage them to bill the person for the realistic replacement of all services performed. Find how much daycare would be for each child, if you cook find replacement meal costs, if you clean find the maid costs. Realistically find out what your price would be for going back to work. I am a full time working mom who pays for daycare and that is 270 a week for a 3 year old. I order a meal kit service because shopping and putting together recipes was overwhelming, that’s 67 a week. I had to hire someone to mow the lawn in my place as I don’t have time and I’m too pregnant… me working has a cost. If I don’t make more than that cost, it would be better to not work. Thankfully I do right now. But he needs to realize you DO contribute and what it would be to replace you.
I personally would say ok ur right I don’t contribute…then the next day don’t do SHIT well except keep the kids alive lol but show him what it really means to not contribute. If he still just ughh then u have ur answer… leave
If you choose a working woman, you have to accept that she can’t handle the house full time.
If you choose a housewife who can take care of you and manage the home completely, you need to accept that she doesn’t make money.
If you choose a submissive woman, you must accept that she depends on you.
If you choose to be with a brave woman, you must accept that she is tough and has thoughts of her own.
If you choose a beautiful woman, you have to
accept expenses too.
If you choose to be with a great woman, you must accept that she is tough and firm.
No woman is perfect.
A woman has her own ′′ good thing ′′ that defines who she is and makes her unique.
- Unknown