Warm her butt up a little with wooden spoon
If I had acted that way to my mom, I would have been picking myself up from the floor.
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Leave her home with one adult when family goes to do fun things! In my day she would have gotten smacked and grounded!
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When my 14 year old gets sassy, she knows by the tone and eye contact that she is in trouble. I will drop my voice down low and say, “excuse me? Would you like to repeat that? or a simple, You dont talk to me that way, young lady.” Typically, she will rephrase it or say whatever it is a different less disrespectful way. If she gets too out of hand she gets extra chores, not just one… and chores tedious chores. Not easy ones. I’ve made her scrub the grout in between all the floor tiles with a tooth brush on her hands and knees in the entire kitchen. She thought it was great, for about 30 minutes. After that, it wasn’t so fun and she learned a lesson. Sometimes you have to get intentionally “creative” with chores in order to get the point across. In our house, half assing your way through it means you do it again until it’s done correctly. At this point, you should always start with you addressing the disrespect immediately when it happens. Whatever you’re doing stops and ends. Then you look her in the eye so she knows she crossed a line. I always give mine a chance to correct it. If she chooses not to, then there are further consequences, than just a conversation. But you have to be a hard ass with those consequences. It can’t be a minor inconvience or they don’t tend to learn. It has to be quick and mean something or they don’t care. I’ve found the more tedious the chore or the more inconvenient the punishment, the more effective it is and the longer it sticks.
In my day, that was called talking back or disrespect. At 10 years old, I had to go to bed early for that
Right after supper in the summer and right after homework was done during the school year. We did not go anywhere.
Disapline was more important. Sending a message to us kids, was more important ant
Showing us, that bad behavior would not be tolerated. Our parents were not afraid of us or felt sorry for us. We disobey, we deserve what we get and we learned not to be disrespectful. In fact, we knew we deserved it and loved our parents even more🤔
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I would pop her mouth if it got to much but that’s against some people beliefs. Do you guys have a church you attend. That could help also
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At 10? Sit her down and have her talk things out. Puberty is knocking on the door- why does she feel this way etc then assert yourself and if that behavior doesn’t stop she loses ALL privileges.
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Punish her and get child care,then go enjoy your summer without her . She doesn’t deserve anything fun!
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Would you do playtherapy with her and find out the source as sometimes its not you x
SHe does what you allow. You’re the parent, you’re asking for advice. That means you’re you’re willing to try everything. Try everything until you find something that works.
Wash her mouth out with soap… it won’t kill her.
Do to her what she does to you… everytime she talks to to you talk down to her, she needs to see how it feels…(her actions effect others)
Pop her mouth. (Again it won’t kill her, but she will remember the sting next time before she says something)
Or do the whole modern don’t hurt, insult, embarrass your kid, she’s just expressing her self, and do the whole groundings (don’t work or they wouldn’t keep doing it). Time out (don’t work or they wouldn’t keep doing it ) take away privilege. (they don’t care, they get them back eventually).
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I would have told her to sit down not you walk away.
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If it was me as a kid. I’d be picking myself up off the floor and wiping the blood off my lips with a yes ma’am… and an apology.
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I got my smart mouth washed out with soap.
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I noticed the back of my hand works when I show it to her
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Make her sit at the table an write sentences an if she don’t just continue to make her sit there everyday after school an all day wen there is no school believe me it won’t even take a week .I had to do it an it surely worked for me
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I would get a job and put her in daycare haha.
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I say bust that ass… Worked for me growing up…
Tell he to go to her room…take all electronics…and when u can be respectful u may come out…be the parent
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Make out a chart with stars or stickers. At the end of the day see how many she has earned. When it gets to a certain amount you will take her shopping to buy something she has earned.
Get a sticker chart. Every time she’s sassy or rude, she adds a sticker. The chart will remind her that she was sassy. To remove the sticker she must do a chore. No special treats or outings allowed until stickers are all gone.
The joys of hormones . We can expect a certain amount of smart mouth at that age and tbh its not a bad thing…but disrespect is entirely different.
First thing you check that she’s not being bullied then a chat about respect and what you would prefer she does if she’s having a bad day or feels confused by her emotions /body changes. Growing up is hard as I’m sure we all will remember if we look back over our early years.
My favourite saying during those years was…youre my child and I love you more than life but right now you’re making it very hard to like you…they would storm into their room slamming the doors as they went and we ignored each other for a while.
It worked well enough. Gave us both time to calm down then life went on till the next time . This stage passes in time …I do admit to slapping my sons face when he repeatedly called me a bitch though. That worked too.
Consistancy and remaining calm is vital and working out their temper with hard work .
I’d beat that @$$ wherever we are, as soon as the smart remark comes out. She would NOT be participating in ANYTHING. She would be sitting down with no electronics and just watching us have fun. I have no sympathy for a disrespectful little @$$ !!!
Try tips from: Ten great ways to embarrass your children
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She’s testing boundaries, testing you. Disrespectful and hurtful behavior cannot be allowed. She needs to learn now that it is absolutely unacceptable. Set the boundaries and enforce them strongly, firmly, ruthlessly, this is not one of the things you bend on. Personally it would be all hands on deck for me. I would let her know it will not be tolerated, step dad the same, family, friends, etc. would all be aware of it and strongly enforce that it’s horrible behavior that no one likes. What methods you use are your choice whether it be “time out,” spanking, taking away things, etc. She needs to FEEL not just hear that it’s unacceptable. Make her feel it whether it’s sadness, guilt, rejection, etc. Only when what she is getting out of it is less than what she is getting because of it will it stop. Right now she’s getting the feeling of power from it. You have to make it where she gets that feeling of power from somewhere else while at the same time making what she’s currently doing an uncomfortable feeling that she’ll gladly replace with the other power source. Put her in martial arts, something that will fill her with feelings of being powerful in a positive way.
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When you take things away make her earn them back. That’s the first thing. She’s 10 she has learned she can wait it out. Also talk with her explain to her if she’s gonna talk to you in a disrespectful way then she will have a very boring summer. Just because it’s summer doesn’t mean she’s entitled to anything “fun”. Yeah it might make everyone else disappointed as well but you are already unhappy and hurt. If you have other kids send stepdad/dad with them to do something and the two of you sit at home. Also I suggest therapy and parenting classes. I’m not saying you are a bad parent but it could help you find different techniques to use. Also I’d take a hard look at the people you both are around, someone is giving her the idea she can talk to you like that especially when you say she’s fine with step dad. Sounds like you try to do gentle parenting but you take it too far imo and it turns into permissive parenting. You don’t need to give a kid everything they want or let them do whatever they want in order to be a gentle parent.
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Okay so before you take everyone else advice about resorting to violence and calling it discipline or the “back in my day”… back in your day we didn’t have as much knowledge on how abuse effected children long term.
Kids are little humans trying to navigate a world they know nothing about and adults are expecting them to be perfect at it and perfect at talking about and regulating their emotions… last I check Becky you can’t even express or regulate your emotions either, do we need to talk about your road rage or the rage in the grocery store when someone is walking slow in front of you?.. anyway she’s a child trying to test the boundaries. Set clear boundaries, write them out if you have to and put them where everyone can see them and each crossed boundaries has a consequence. Now here’s the tricky part, you MUST stick to it. Now here’s the even harder part that most adults and parents can’t grasp, maybe it’s you. Maybe you as the adult and parent need to find a way to communicate in a healthy manner to your child that’s going through puberty and has hormones rushing through her body and she doesn’t know how to handle them. Healthy communication and understanding is the way to create adults. It takes a lot of work and most adult didn’t get that growing up so they don’t know how to have a healthy discipline with their kids and that’s not their fault but it is their responsibility to not continue the cycle and act like they are perfect, level headed, productive members of society when we’ve all seen the videos.
Now as far as a punishment goes for the rudeness coming from her mouth. Get a 2x4 and some nails. Have her write out all the rude things she has said to you on the board then nail a nail into it for each word. After she has calmed down and doesn’t have anger rushing through her body have her remove those nails, it won’t be so easy. Don’t help her. And after all nails are removed remind her that even if she didn’t mean the mean things and she’s sorry the holes are still their, pain was still caused by her careless words. Have her apologies to the wood and ask her if the holes are disappearing when she’s sorry. Obviously they won’t and let her now every time she says something hurtful she adds another hole that won’t go away. It’s about understanding that when we hurt those we care about the damage was done and you can’t take it away. Also gives a visual memory of the pain that she caused.
Now for anyone that’s gonna try to jump down my throat and be toxic because you think violence is the only answer, don’t bother. But I’m also sorry that you were hurt as a child and no one was there to protect you and give you a safe and healthy environment to grow into the beautiful person you were meant to be. It’s not to late to heal, it’s never to late to heal.
Heal your pain so you don’t pass the pain to others, especially your children.
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If talking about it doesnt work tell her until she’s respectful you dont hear a damn word she says, ignore her, she can make a sandwich for dinner and do her own laundry. Until she’s ready to apologize and act right. May sound strict but it’s a good way to teach her you wont tolerate being treated like shit.
Go have fun leave her with a sitter
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No advice here… just hold on 
my girl is only 3 but my 21 year old son had a smart mouth with me at this age. It hurt my feelings a lot. I’m a southern mama and I thought a good talking and punishment would help but when he got older he told me he just wanted to be heard. Still no idea what that means lol
10 years old is not too old to be taken over your knee. Perhaps make her walk around with a sign that reads I talk down to my mom and make her feel useless everyday. Some times kids need a hard lesson not these pansy crap punishments people do these days. Be a mom not a friend.
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Go ahead and go do your fun park, swimming etc and yes let her go so she can sit and watch everyone else having fun while she does absolutely nothing but sit and watch. Always worked with my smart mouth kids
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I don’t even know what to tell you. I have 3 kids and they never treated me like that. Did you do something to make her lose respect for you? If not, she needs to be put in her place. I wouldn’t have walked off when she treated you bad at basketball, she would’ve been the one not playing!
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Ask her step dad to talk to her and try and see why she’s acting up. Could just be hormones and tweeny troubles but she needs to learn being disrespectful isn’t an option
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Put soap in her mouth or simply a back hand 
I’m sorry but no child should ever disrespect their parent
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Make her sit down write out the opposite of what she said ( kinder version) 100 times. If not more.
Don’t let it slide now or it’s gonna be worse later.
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Give it right back to her!!
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Have a real talk about treating others how you wanna be treated. if you acted like she does once toward her as she does to you I bet you that changes real quick. my mom did this to me in a public space. I never really disrespectful to her again. No electronics events birthdays no extras all summer … when you plan something leave her at home with a sitter until the disrespect changes make her earn these things back they are privileges.
Summer school is also an option. Or getting her someone to talk to. If it’s beyond fixing.
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Read up on Tough Love. If you don’t stop this now she will be a nightmare at 14.
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I don’t condone violence. But seriously, one slap across the mouth would shock her. You may never have to do it again.
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It’s tough to raise kids nowadays. When I was young, you didn’t dare talk to your folks like that unless you wanted your mouth smacked. I followed that rule of thumb with mine. Nowadays they say that’s child abuse. BS. So I guess what you do is continue pull electronics. You don’t give them back till she earns them back. She has to stop with the smart mouth. If there’s something fun planned and she shows her rear end? Oops! Guess what we aren’t doing? Oh, you have plans to go to a sleepover? But you talked down to your mother? Nope! Guess you’re staying home! If you want to have fun, you have to behave like the kind of person other people would like to have around. If you’re going to act like a jerk, you get to sit home a lot!
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My mom would if beat my ass
at 10 years old, she isnt even a teen yet, i would really try hard to find out what the real problem is and remember children alwas are mean to the one they trust and love the most
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YouTube Love and Logic.
Ignore him. Literally don’t answer or acknowledge them when they do that.
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Oh baby… my momma would’ve knocked into the next millennium😂
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“Say what you mean, mean what you say!” FOLLOW THRU!! this is the biggest thing nowadays. If you threaten something and don’t follow thru on that promise made, kids remember that! When you take electronics away define the sentence time. " because of your smart mouth I am taking away your ipad/t.v. privileges for 2 days." And yes days will get them to understand more,more than say just a d hour or two. Don’t yell, don’t loose it, some kids that’s all they want is to know they can push your buttons. Stand firm and if you tell them to do something and they argue tell them " I told you to do that, not ask you to do that, that was a command. Delayed obedience, is disobedience"
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How about a good ole fashioned 
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Was the behavior a sudden drastic change? How long have you been married to the step father? Does she see or split time in another household with biodad that may not be as structured or consistent? Are there new siblings or a new baby? Could there be a physiological factor at play such as hormones? Get to the root, therapists for each of you could be a wonderful resource. Whatever it may be, one thing I can assure you-laying hands on her under the guise of discipline isn’t the answer.
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Get her into a sport. If she likes basketball, sign her up for it. Good coaches also teach good sportsmanship. If you are unable to do that, set her up with a counselor. We got our child in counseling to get to the root of the behavioral problems and things have gotten better. No amount of discipline worked. It helped open her eyes to the issue and gave her someone outside the home to confide in. Good luck!!
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Why’d you walk off the court?? How bout tell her to get off the court if she wants to keep being disrespectful. You’re allowing the behavior.
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I raised six. 3 sons 3 daughters. By the time they 4 they had learned NOT to sas mom when they learn there are stiff consequences they are much better behaved I now have 21 grands 37 GREAT GRANS what a difference in parents now
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Mine get popped in the mouth. I’ve got an 11 year old that likes to smart mouth. She gets the look first and if she keeps it up she gets popped in the mouth. My kids are 10 & 11. They have had 3 spankings in their life and my oldest has gotten popped in the mouth once.
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Family meeting -get everyone on the same page w/expectations & consequences!!!
Stick w/it & best wishes to your family !!!
You are not providing structured or discipline. You are the parent who IS in charge. Take ALL privileges away for x 1 week at first. If she argues you add a day for each time she doesn’t follow direction. 1 No phone, No Sports, No TV, No friends, No video games.
2 chores total bathrooms cleaned including toilet and shower. A Totally clean of her room. If she refused take away One item at a time begin with the biggest screaming u can get. If there not screaming you have not gain your parent badge back. It’s very important to have her father and step father in on this and make sure EVERYONE follows your lead. If your all very calm and matter of fact. She will know whose the parent. After day one she act nice. But follow through with the WEEK.
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This stage of mother daughter relationship is very challenging. Daughters can be pretty shitty to thier mothers through puberty. It can make us crazy! The solution for every kid will be different. But your expectation for how she should treat you needs to be very consistent. If she is disrespectful then you do what you would do with anyone else who treated you that way. You won’t always feel like you are winning, more often than not you will feel defeated. Just know that you can love her and yourself through these years and that eventually she will get back to a place that is respectful and acceptable behavior. Just keep reminding her and guiding her towards it.
I just realized I am petty and immature. If after I’ve tried to be nice, I’m going savage. I’m talking to her the same way she talks to me. I’m going for the jugular and hurting her feelings. Don’t come for me, I know it’s mean but sometimes…
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Ignore her. When she says something rude don’t listen to her. An if she wants something don’t pay her no mind. She will
Learn
Stop her in her tracks 
next time she starts acting out…get in her face, tell her your the adult,she’s the child., & you don’t care if she likes you or not but she WILL respect you! Then make her sit in time out for at least 10 mins…tell her if she wants to act like a child, she will get treated like one! This is what worked with my daughter, she would switch her attitude quickly… after a few times didn’t have to do that anymore. 
Good luck 
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I spank brand new child afterwards
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3 you should never walked off the court you should have made her go sit down on the bleachers and made her sit out the good time don’t keep her rewarding her
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Is she wants to act like a two-year-old treat her like a two-year-old take away everything don’t let her treat you like that Don’t reward her at all Rewards are for good kids not bad ones explain to her that you’re not gonna treat her good as long as she treats you bad consequences Show her consequences and once she starts acting better then she’ll get some of her stuff back not all of it at once just some at a time see how that works
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Her routine is completely OFF. She went from a 9-5 to sleeping on and late nights. Be PATIENT be KIND. Understand She can not understand nor regulate like we can. & that’s still a huge change for adults too. Pick up the same routine you had during the school year with a schedule. Have days planned and STICK to it. Let’s vent but be patient … she’s also a pretty teen. Also maybe plan some sleepovers/play dates. At that age thy start to become so social. That’s missing right now
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Say to her can we have a conversation? then say are there people in your life who treat you poorly? When those people treat you poorly does it make you feel bad? Can we try to get to the root of the problem between us. I understand you’re frustrated You know I’m on your side right. … this conversation could go all kinds of places 
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Send her to a place that deals with troubled kids some times the luxury of family is whythey act the way
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start doing things without her … your and you husband go do fun activities, leave her at home with a babysitter
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Read the book “Tough Love”
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Mines 13 & have been dealing with this for 6 years. Been trying to get him in therapy for past trauma for 6 years and keep getting road blocks/ therapist quitting/moving etc…
We keep hitting dead ends. Behavior keeps getting worse.
Talking to him doesn’t help. Grounding doesn’t help. Taking away things doesn’t help. (Currently in his room he has his bed and clothes)
He is only allowed to leave the house currently for summer school and church.
Goodluck momma
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Girls and Moms are tough. They feel a competition with us, Show her you want to be on her side as long as she is respectful. If not, bench her. Tell her you are not going to tolerate her disrespect. When she learns how to show respect she will get more privileges and freedoms. And don;t feel guilty about it. You are supposed to treat her how to treat others.
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The most important lesson you can teach her is Every Action Has A Consequence a bad action will have a bad consequence And a good action will have a good consequence good luck
When my daughter was a pre teen/ teenager she treated me terribly!! I wish I knew then what I know now:
Her primary emotion was not anger. She could not or did not feel safe enough to express her primary emotion. OR maybe I didn’t validate her primary emotion….
Ex: fear, frustration, sadness
Sooo anger, the secondary emotion, was expressed.
You mentioned step father- was there a divorce or death?? Transition for a teen is very very difficult. There is a lot of background about the family dynamics that you haven’t provided soo I suggest 100% counseling- specifically DBT. I know DBT was created for teenagers ( widely used by adults also). Your daughter is 10 so I cannot advise if she would be s candidate because of her age- read up & educate yourself
About DBT, anger management etc…
Very important!! Please make sure the therapist specializes in pre teen / teenager.
GOOD LUCK!!
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Tell her to Knock it off!! You won’t take this from an adult so don’t take it from your kid!! Girls sometimes try to compete with their mothers so do T put up with it!! If she thinks she can get away with it, it will get worse. When she’s an ADULT then she can go her own way, but while under your roof? YOUR way. Make her RESPECT you!
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Honestly, stop doing ANYTHING for her. Don’t help her with chores, bathing, when she has a question, don’t cook her food. Don’t even plan any fun activities for her to ro, or if she goes with the family do an activity that someone else picks. Don’t do anything. Then she’ll see how hard you work and everything you do for the family, and for her, and I think it will help teach her some respect and show her she can’t be disrespectful and live this great life that she has. It should only take a few days before she gets the message.
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This reminds me of the clip with Jennifer Aniston where she tells her kid “you know what, F*CK YOU. I’ve done everything for you. I care about you, and a feed you, and I do EVERYTHING. So you hate me? I hate you too”. If you’ve tried….maybe stop trying. My mom said to me once “I love you, but I don’t like you right now. The way you treat me, I DONT LIKE YOU. I’ll always love you, but you’re not being a nice person”
I used to get a smack if I did that
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Don’t walk away defeated like you did while playing basketball. If she sees that she is essentially “winning” by getting you to walk away with your tail between your legs, she’s likely not going to stop anytime soon. Next time, make HER be the one to go take a seat and watch you continue to have fun. Basically a “time out”. Show her that you are not affected by her poor behavior, rather SHE is the one who is affected by having to sit out on one of her favorite activities. After she cools off, if she apologizes, let her join back in. Show her that bad behavior carries negative consequences and good behavior carries good consequences. Later when it’s just the two of you, explain to her that you understand that she is getting older and is becoming a young lady and that you WANT to treat her as such, but when she starts backtalking and acting out she is acting more like a toddler and that is how she will continue to be treated if she keeps it up.
Maybe take her out to do some Mom/daughter activities, just the two of you. Something more “mature” that babies can’t participate in, like get pedicures together. Explain to her that this is the kind of thing that you would like to make a regular thing if her behavior continues to improve, but if she wants to keep acting like a toddler that needs a nap, well toddlers don’t get to do fun grown up things with Mom. So if she would like to continue having mother/daughter bonding time like that, she needs to work on expressing her emotions so that everything doesn’t come out as anger & disrespect all of the time. Good luck mama!
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Keep her electronics and send her to Dad for the summer within a week or two she’ll be crying to come home
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The kid is 10! You created that.
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This is where my mom would’ve given me a hiding.
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All this negative advice…. My goodness….
Sit down and have a talk with her. Ask her why she is acting this way, & what there is that you could help her with to try and figure it out.
Don’t take away her things if she’s being rude, those two are unrelated. It just makes more anger. That’s not what we want.
If there’s a situation where you are about to take something of hers, or punish her negatively - instead! Say “I’m feeling hurt & frustrated right now, I’m going to walk away, and gather myself. When you want to talk about this, we can, just let me know.”
Continue to do fun things as a family. Continue to try to build towards positivity.
I can almost guarantee just a few of these changes will help.
Good luck.
Maybe try doing something just you and her that she likes to do. Or find a new thing just you and her share together?
I hear a lot of things going on here. Bullies do what they do to get that reaction that you are giving. It feeds their ego. STOP THAT.
She is a child. You are an adult. She is your daughter, not your friend.
You aren’t doing her any favors by allowing her to continue with this behavior.
I’m old school. When my children tried to bite me, I bit them back so they would know how it felt. If they slapped me, I slapped them back. Of course, we went through that stage when they were about 2 or 3, not when they were 10.
If she insults you, insult her back. It’s childish, I know, but she’s acting childish. The other way to go would be to completely ignore her insults, or laugh at them … let her know it doesn’t bother you. And yet, the next time she wants something after she has insulted you, you laugh at her & say “really? I don’t think so”.
Your job as a parent is to prepare her for the world so that she can successfully navigate life as an adult. She needs to learn that her behavior is unacceptable, and that if she continues to act this way, she will be really lonely standing in that corner all by herself.
Good luck.
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Slap the piss out of her get her attention making all A’s in school dosen’t give her the right to disrespect you or anyone else. Have her locked up in a juvenile detention center she’s definitely going to be a problem
Spank her butt notice people I said spank not beat
my mother would have twirled my head around like the exorcist lol
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Truthfully she would have got her rear end handed to her many years ago. Good luck.
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I was like this towards my stepmom and my room was cleared out 
nothing except a bed, 2 outfits and enough underwear for the week. I had a bunch of chores and had to earn all my stuff back. It worked lol. Im 25 now and My stepmom is actually my best friend.
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I would have been slapped in the mouth! And it worked
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She’s punishing you for some reason, you have to find the reason. She’s still a child, you are the adult. You are in charge, Take her good stuff from her and don’t give in, I would be sending her to a boarding school if it were me to be taught some manners. There is something she’s blaming you for and needs to see a councilor. Good luck.
My Mama would reach out like AT&T and make contact with my mouth (attitude adjustment) and it worked and that’s what I did with both of my boys:100:
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My mom used to pop my mouth or some kind of soap in the mouth, my boys are 3 and 5 so I’m not there yet, I personally would make their life as boring as possible and make them work (anything age appropriate chore wise) until they figured out how to speak to me. Our 5 year old gets mouthy and rude I’ll make him sit on the couch with absolutely nothing or put his nose on the door. When he’s throwing his tantrums (since he’s a big boy now) I’ll ask him if he wants treated like a baby since he wants to act like one and that means back in diapers and back to drinking out of a bottle and he’ll say no and I’m like well then stop your tantrums and get usually does for a little bit at least. Hope this helps you, could be her age stage or could she be acting out for some reason?
My mom would have made me taste blood in my mouth
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“Spare the rod, spoil the child.” Many of us grew up in homes where we were taught to be respectful and not act unruly. If we slipped, we were introduced to the belt, the hand, and the chancla. Straightened us out real quick.
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It all starts with you (sorry, but it’s true). I can only say you might want to seek some professional help. And I don’t know if you have a personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ, but that is where things really start… Please know I say these things in love.
Put M A D E A on her !!!
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She needs a Madea visit
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Oh you want dinner. Make it yourself. Oh you want internet well that’s too bad I know it’s hard being the bad guy but she will have more respect for you
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Your own fault raising a child with no respect for others
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