I’m currently at a loss with my 13-year-old son. I have four kids, ages 13, 10, 8, and 3. My 13-year-old has hit a really defiant stage, and I’m struggling with handling it. He is addicted to video games, and if something goes wrong, he screams and rages. When I go into his room to tell him enough and to shut it down, he says no and starts screaming at me to get out of his room and to screw off. Now, my son is huge, 6ft tall, 250lbs. I’m 5ft2. I’m not going to “make” him do anything, and he knows that. His dad and I are divorced, so on this last incident, I had my parents take him to stay with his dad. His stepfather just feels about done with him because it’s affecting everyone in the house. It scares my younger children. I’m not sure how to bring him back home just to have this happen again. It hurts my heart to send him away from here, but it’s just too much. Any advice on how to handle this?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My 13 year old is addicted to video games: What can I do?
Get on a mums group
Dont feel guilty about protecting your younger children. Tell him you love him, but his behavior is scarey, you cant have it in your home.
As a parent of a boy who did the same and a firefighter EMT for 26 yrs. if he is acting out in such a way that scares the household, maybe it’s time for some police involvement and or also a evaluation by a licensed mental health professional. No parent want to call the police on their child but there truly does come a time when professional
Intervention is needed
Not to be rude, but it sounds like a lack of parenting. Take the whole system away. Simple as that. Hes 13. Don’t be scared of him. He knows he can scare you and you won’t do anything. And yes I have a 13 year old.
Well you could talk to a law enforcement officer and have him put a scared in to him if he scar’s easy .
If not the only thing you might be able to do is talk to a judge about putting him in boot camp where they teach them about life and respect.
No one really can tell you what to do.
It’s going to have to be up to you and his dad on how you will handle it.
All we can do is give you some things to think about.
Cut that gaming cord
Girl you are the boss of this big boy never show fear cause they will use that against you .sorry to say but went through that its called tough love no games if no respect…counselors are there for ya .stay strong prayers your way…NO FEAR BABY STAY STRONG
Unplug it & take it away!
Take a wet leather belt to his frigging arse and teach him who’s boss
Uhm remove all his from his room! He gets a mattress, blanket, and 5 outfits.
I would take away his game system now while he is gone. He can earn it back through good behavior and chores
GAME OVER lol get rid of the game console. I had to do it. It’s not fun.
Literally everyone has told you what needs to be done.
Yeah I have some advice… learn how to be a parent. Shut it down means shut it down. Period.
Take away the power cords. Video games are a privilege make him earn it back by being respectful and stop loosing his mind. Depending on your internet router you can disconnect his devices at any time. Also if you feel like your 13 year old son would raise his hands to you he needs to get to a counselor.
take away the games? I realize he’ll rage but if they’re gone they’re gone and he can be mad all he wants but that won’t bring them back. like all of it, system and games and cords etc. just gone. my little brother was and is just like that even at 21 years old now.
Umm beat that ass and take a baseball bat to that gaming console… I mean it worked for my bf at the time
Unplug the damn game system and take it from him, hello who’s the parent?
He is still a child and has to listen to you. Remove all games from the house; he can earn them back. Change the WiFi password. He don’t need it. At this point TV would be gone to. He can read books, play outside, or find a hobby. If he gets out of hand call the cops to defuse the situation. Also therapy and anger management classes are great. It’s not easy but stand your ground. Make punishments count and last. For this I say at least 1 month. It’s hard but can be done. I had a difficult and aggressive child; she is now 21 and living her own life and staying out of trouble.
My 13 year old is 6’1 and 200 lbs. and he wouldn’t dare scream at me to get out of his room or tell me no cause he knows better. That’s just a lack of teaching your child respect from a young age… or a lack of putting the fear of God into your child… either way, this is a problem created and allowed by the parents. Take the electronics. Cut the WiFi. Be the damn parent and stop letting a 12 year old run you and your husband!
Thats your problem you won’t make him. I have a 13 yr old and he knows dang well he starts screaming at his game I get it for the day. Why bc I’m the parent and he knows I’m the boss not the other way around. Step up and grow some balls and make ur kid realize your the parent not the other way around or you ain’t gonna have to worry about being a parent bc the jail will be his mommy and daddy
He is 13!
Take the Damn game away!!
Put your foot down !
Personally what I would do is take him to therapy. He’s trying to bury his mind into the games so he doesn’t have to think about something that is nothing him. The saying “we’re all addicted to something that takes away the pain” that’s more than likely what’s happening. And I would also cut off the internet and just tell him you didn’t have enough money to “pay for it” leave it off for a while and hopefully it gets better. I do highly recommend therapy.
Thats easy take the games out of the room and don’t give them back. They should have never been in his room in the first place
Cut the cord and whoop his big ass you had him he didn’t have you:bangbang: when I say take something and knock his ass out if you have to do it ms ma’am and when he comes to be standing over him smiling at that point he’s going to think you lost your shit and that’s what you want
Get a pan hit him over the head to bring him down to your level…once there whoop his a** until the white meat shows lol…no but on a serious note cut cords but if everyone in the house is afraid of him then maybe a break is a good thing
They get worse as they get older , the younger ones will follow , kids. Especially lads are poor losers … and cause a lot of damage , my daughter unplugged internet and took it to work , but somehow he got another one in … it’s these Damn things that’s making lovely kids into monsters … and I feel for you , I hope you find some support with someone who can advise you wisely …
I took my son to the gym with me. He is 13 turning 14 this year and now taller and bigger than me!!!An hour or 2 a day. He gets out aggression, gets excersise, and we arent enemies over video games. Kids that young might be scary physically as they get bigger but mentally he is still your baby. Pay attention to him and get to know him. Not everything requires punishment. You are kind of making it seem like he is the household enemy! He needs guided. He needs to blow off steam. Covid did a lot to them.
People of all ages get emotionally involved in their video games. On the one hand it’s important to recognize that to him, those emotions are real. On the other hand, its important to make him take a time out once in a while and interact with real people to get some perspective. Video games have become central to teenagers’ mental health during this pandemic, for some it’s the only socializing they get, but he needs to decompress from it sometimes too. Find something else in the real world that he might be interested in and encourage it. For mine, it’s Uno and riding his bicycle.
Cancel wifi for bit.he go outside or do a chores b4 games
Baby. Me an my 16 year old squared up an went toe to toe. He towers over me . But you wanna come at me like the grown man you " think" you are? We gonna have problems.
Sell it and you and your husband go out for a date then, thank him for giving you the idea to sell it!
Hide the system and get him counseling asap
Knock him on his ass. The End
Take that away… I have a son that’s 22 and he used to be hooked on games as a teenager…he is 6’ tall and I’m 5’3 but trust when I say IM THE MOM and if I say shut it down he will not question me cause he knows I don’t play that . It’s not about the height or their age, it’s about the respect you have taught them to have for you as their parent. If you say no it’s no point blank.
Throw the game away or hide it while hes gone and get him into therapy or something
You’re joking right?
You’re the parent, the adult; not his friend.
I agree with others; remove it.
Or give GOD thanks that he’s NOT running in the streets like a hoodlum!
I used to take the controllers, or the power cord,!
Cut the cord with scissors! Problem solved.
Turn off the WiFi. Throw the gaming system away🤷🏽♀️. I bc wish my kids would try me. That be the first thing to get sold out thrown out🤣 Sit and talk to him and don’t budge. Tell him he’s going to do things around the house to earn gaming time. I’m a gamer. But there’s a disrespect factor not just an addiction factor.
Take that shit away!! And whoop his ass… No way in hell you should be scared of your 13 year old… nope nope nope… and if his behaviour doesn’t change after taking the video game away let him go to his dad’s house and let his dad know that he can’t have the video game. Talk with his dad about it and let his dad whip him into shape that’s ridiculous… Just because you’re 5 foot whatever and he’s taller and bigger than you doesn’t mean that he’s boss… You need to take it away and do something to get it under control now before it gets worse
Seems like your scared of youre own child just set your foot down and take the damn game for a week. Smh
Smash the fucking xbox & burn his games. Then smack the shit out of him if he starts yelling at you like that again.
Take the power cord away and hide it completely
You better take that shit away from him. If you’re actually saying you’re afraid to parent your child because he’s bigger than you, that sounds like you’re intimidated by your child and you both need to seek family therapy together because that’s a whole fucking problem and it will not just solve itself on its own. His size is irrelevant, he either respects you or you take his shit and that’s what it is
Smash the damn thing! He’s Out of control because you’ve allowed it!! Don’t care how loud you scream. Smash it let him scream and go crazy. He won’t be escalated forever.
You absolutely can make him do something, for one. He is 13 years old, I’m reading this (and most comments) and it’s like talking about a 23 year old that’s doing this crap. He’s a teenager. It’s normal to act out but lay the law down. Be a parent. “It scares my younger children”. Sounds like you left that baby out a long time ago and would rather live your life with your kids that are probably your husbands, not him, and I’m sure he knows that. Probably better off with his dad. That. Is. Your. Son. You teach him. Take care of him. Correct him. Discipline him. Not ship him off when he inconveniences you. Does he have friends? Is he happy? Does he feel loved? Valued? Does he have responsibilities? Does he enjoy any sports? Reading? How is he in school? Does he get good grades? Does he feel included in your family? Does any other aspect of his life have meaning other than video games? Let’s figure this out sis, the problem started long before he was 6 foot tall.
The game isn’t the issue you need to be worried about. That angry screaming 6ft toddler has to learn self control or all of you are in for a hell of a ride.
Tough love and take the system n don’t give it back until he changes his ways.
Tf?? That game would be gone! Until he learned to respect boundaries
So basically you scared if your son …fuck outta here …
I may be wrong but seems like this type of behavior has been going on for a while and hasn’t been addressed bc he’s a big boy and now it’s gotten outta hand. Should’ve wooped his butt the min he initially started doing it. I understand u might be scared bc he’s a big. But understand that if he lays a hand on his own mother uve got a bigger problem. He’s still at an age where you can discipline him and take control again. Unless someone intervenes now, he’s on the road for a worse outcome.
Unplug his shit until he can behave.id make him destroy the system himself
Shut the wifi/internet off. I can shut mine off from each individual device. So if my son starts that I shut it off till he can chill out.
I know someone who allows her kids to play video games all day long it’s her free babysitter… F that unplug and make them do chores and play outside
Take his game a stand up to him he knows because he’s taller and probably weighs more he’s got you where he wants you. Show him some tough love. He’s only 13 it will get worse when he gets older if you don’t handle him now. If his step dad try’s to tell him something all he’ll say is “YOU’RE NOT MY DAD”. His dad should help you he’s disrespecting you and that’s uncalled for.
Maybe it’s his real dad putting negative thoughts in his head about you and his step dad. Talk to him about see what he says
I canceled internet, and cable tv, for a year!
Unplug it, remove it before he even comes back. He doesn’t deserve it and he needs to remember who’s in charge. He thinks cause he’s bigger he can bully you around. Fix it now before it gets worse.
Sell all gaming devices, remove everything from his room. Only essentials left, bed, blankets and a weeks of clothing. Possibly some counseling, there may be some youth programs in your area that can also help.
I had to take my kids video games away. It literally made him a different angry person. And even though he’s bigger than me, my son has a healthy fear for my capability to discipline him. Got to get that power back, and it’s tough. But you can do it. Just be consistent.
My son is 15 he has ADHD and ODD. He is this way a lot of times with the game but he also knows when I tell him to cool it that’s what I mean. My son is now bigger than I am as well but he knows that I don’t play. His dad is a “gamer” and understands him he says. I do not. We are also no longer together so on the weeks that I have him he knows that there are still things that need to be done and when I tell him to do something he better get up and do it or else the loses the game. He would rather do as I ask when I ask vs losing his game time all together. I fee for you mama but you really need to set boundaries and put your foot down otherwise he will never respect you. My kids are more afraid of me than their father. I’ve reached the point also where I’ve told my son if he won’t listen to me I’ll take him to the juvenile jail myself and have him admitted to the scared straight program. I’ve even called it on speaker in front of him showed him the website for it and got his dad on the phone and he Agreed with me. There will be no disrespect in our homes from our children and we will happily take him to jail voluntarily vs mandatory because he raged. Good luck but honestly put your foot down set boundaries and make sure he knows it’s your house your rules.
Ahh hell no!!! I don’t care how big or old my kids are. If any of them ever disrespected me they’d get an attitude adjustment.
Sorry but letting him get away with this behavior is teaching the younger ones they can too.
Get rid of it. Immediately. And do not think you can’t make him do anything! He’s definitely not too old for a good old fashioned belt to the ass.
Punch him in the throat then throw the game away!
Remember you are the PARENT! My 13 year old son is also addicted to his PlayStation but when I tell him to get off for any reason he absolutely does so! My house my rules. A parent should never have the fear to stand up to their children!!
I just don’t understand how an adult is scared of a child that they brought into this world…blows my mind… seriously… The game clearly isn’t the issue… You as the parent is. I don’t care how big my sons are… They WILL RESPECT ME. I TAKE CARE AND SACRIFICE FOR THEM. Period. Good luck. Put your damn foot down! And don’t be scared to do it.
Omg there’s worse things he can be doing but he’s home playing a game effin relax you guys are too soft i swear!!!
Stand up and be the damn parent! You cant “make” him do anything?! The hell you cant!! He lives in your house therefore YOU are in charge. Not your child. Take his shit away and let him throw his little temper tantrum. Dont be afraid to actually do something. And the games themselves arent the problem. He has anger issues and possibly may have an addictive personality.
Put a lock on the plug of it and he can’t plug it in tell him if he doesn’t straighten up then he does not get it back until he does that’s what I did with my son
Um you could try being his parent?
You got this https://images.app.goo.gl/tpLHe7jTfyYDwZ5VA
Turn off the wifi on him. Even if he has a cell phone with a hot spot it wouldn’t be enough to get his game running without lagging. This mainly works if he’s playing online. Usually they are. If he’s playing single player internet isn’t really required. When he’s not home just take one of the main wires from the back of the system and hide it until he behaves. Or take the TV out. Can’t play without the TV.
First, do not be scared of that child. My son is 12 & built like a linebacker. He tries that same stuff… Screaming at games. I will go & shut it off. If he wants to try me he knows I will rock his a** like a grown man on the lawn if he even thinks he is gonna come at me with violence. He tried one time acting like he was gonna be tough & I nipped it in the butt. He knows I will sell it all off too. The games are a privilege & if isn’t mature enough they can get taken away.
Internet password use it and when he gets disrespectful like that change the password.simple he can keep the device. But I pay my bills it is what it is
I would whoop his ass and throw that shit away send him to counseling for that anger and if he touches me I would call the police.
Take the games away, call police if you and your children feel threatened. They WILL come out and handle it.
I have Verizon which allows me to change the wifi password and set timers so that it kicks off certain devices at certain times. Of he gets mad enough at that he may break his own Xbox/PS4 and then you don’t replace it.i have 3 teenagers and this takes the power struggle away
When my boys got bigger and a little to fiesty with me…my husband and I made it a two parent verification system for get wifi access back…they had to get half the password from me and the other from Dad. If told my husband they’re being asses…access denied. No manipulating in lieu rage either! Good luck!
Get rid of the gaming console end of story
Well he can’t be in there 24/7…take all the electronics and dispose and leave him a self help book…obviously he needs some tuff love!!!
Umm take it away and don’t allow access to them until he can learn how to act right.
Ma’am , you are going to have to get tough , this behavior is irrational, and when the younger children sees he can control you , guess what … they will do the same ! If he’s at his fathers , and wants to come home … lay the foundation out firmly… do not crumble, stand firm ., give serious consequences for disrespecting you , your husband , other children and your home … if he wants to live in a fantasy world , give him a book !! Take away all electronic devices , for good !! At his age he can start mowing lawns , raking leaves , helping neighbors with cleaning gutters , carrying groceries… teach him love his neighbors as himself, set good healthy boundaries, teach him things by leading by example… if you do not … you are going to have a very rough life with him , and the other children as well
O there are so many things wrong with this i don’t know where to start “ my husband is just about done with him” this is a 13 year old CHILD “ I can’t make him do anything” regardless of his size had you have disciplined him prior to this age it wouldn’t matter his size bc he would have enough respect to listen it is now your job to correct the problems he is your child and if your husband isn’t willing to help u help him well then you have choices to make but giving up on a 13 year isn’t an option
If my child ever becomes even close to that he won’t get a phone, a computer, a tablet or anything he could play games on and I’d get rid of both his Xbox and Playstation & all the games he’s not even close to that age but he has limited time on it and he knows if I say get off it and he doesn’t that its getting shut off, unplugged and put out of reach and he’s grounded from it and the more he gets mad about it the longer he’s grounded from it
Take it away for a very long time or smash it if he cant be respectful then he dont need it at all and i wouldnt buy him another at all he can buy one in 3 years when hes old enough to get part time job
Tell him you can’t afford the WiFi and turn it off
I have a friend who sent her lovely boy to military boot camp for teens.
Teach him a lesson. Take his games away and give him chores to do. Just because he’s 6 ft doesn’t mean shit.
My SIL is 5’0, 16 year old nephew is 6’2. He’s scared of my SIL and listens to her. She forced him to get a job by telling him he needed to work if he wanted a phone and a car. She wasn’t going to pay for both.
Do what’s right and establish that you’re the parent and get a control of him otherwise he will end up running you out of your own house.
Well from a parent that had this experience, taking it away does not work. Sending him away will only make him mad or hate you. Been there done that.
My last resort was a therapy doctor that taught my son how to control his emotions like that. Believe it or not my son did a 360 over night. I have not had to fight with him or anything. And when I tell him to get off the gaming system, we set a time for him to be on, he gets off no problem asked. For those that say be a parent, walk a mile in our shoes. It wasn’t that easy for my child or for me. When you are basically a single parent it’s rough. Not going to lie. I also learned how to cope when his emotions when he got heated, and so did the rest of the family.
It’s not just the video games, there is an underlying condition that is making him do this, trust me, I didn’t think there was either till the therapist. My son will be 14 in November and like I said it worked. If you want to pm me you can feel free. Good luck momma.
Both my sons are 6ft+ and neither would have dared tell me no. They are my children(grown now) & did what I said! That video game would be smashed in soo many pieces & he’d be cleaning it up!! Hell no!!
My sons 13 and was the same as your son. Through the odd comments too him as well as the odd shouting. He finally understood some games was making him violent. He decided to come off certain games himself and admitted it was making him angry and depressed and the difference those games made is huge in his personality don’t get me wrong he still got a attitude etc but he’s at that age. How long this peaceful no shouting will last I don’t know but I’m enjoying it while I can
And I grounded mine from electricity once!!
Therapy. & instead of focusing on the video games, try and get to the root of why he feels the need to constantly use them to escape.
Disconnect the electric in his room.
Limit screen time. Take devices and turn internet off. If they can’t act or do as they are told then the whole house gets no screent time.
I don’t care how big how old my son was while living under my roof is my rules my son had to make sure his chores was done before he can play any games plus I pay the electricity you had to have a time limit. You have to have him involved in other activities there is shit that needs to be done around the house limit his use.
Throw out his tv and all gaming things till he respects you