Are you planning on kicking her out or boarding school? I’m always confused with the “pack your bags thing”. I agree something has to be done about the disrespect you can’t just let kids running around doing whatever they want. Have you tried helicopter parenting?
Yes you are wrong!
You don’t kick your 14 year old child out onto the streets
What the fuck
No wonder she is rebelling if that’s the type of attitude you’ve got towards her!
Some people shouldn’t have kids!!!
Sit her down with a packet and make her smoke them one after another until they gone or she’s sick. Won’t want to touch them ever again
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I started smoking around that age because I would watch my dad smoke and liked the smell. My parents did the same thing, kicked me out. I had to sleep under bridges and in laundry mats and cigarettes were the only thing to calm me down during stressing times. I became addicted and smoked for 20 more years.
Be careful because your actions may backfire on you and in this day and age, it’s so unsafe for your daughter to be on the streets.
Talk to her, there may be underlying circumstances.
Say no more. Be loving and caring. At this point her friends influence her more you. Hard to realize or understand. But love her above all.
I at 14 started smoking. My dad low key knew but didnt really do anything. When I would visit my mother on summer breaks ina different state she would actually buy them for me. I am now 32 and still wish that my parents had been stricter on me. At 14 I also started smoking pot. By the age of 16 my father allowed me to smoke drink and have sex in my bedroom. At 18 was the start of my 9 year addiction to alcohol. (Sober now for 3 years) (still smoke ciggs) (no weed, cant handle it anymore)
Point being she will probably hate u now. But in the end when she is an adult she will thank u.
The problem is she’ll will pack her bags and find somewhere to stay and you have then missed the chance to save her
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I’ve said this on MANY posts recently. Y’all give them kids a dang butt whoopin! There’s a difference in a spanking and a beating. Spank them bratty kids and teach them how to respect and that there’s consequences to their decisions
Knock her in her place ur the boss not her. I had to do it with my oldest child. I also called children youth services on her. U can call them and ask for advice to see what u can. Take stuff away from her with my oldest it was the phone n the computer I call the services on her and ask what u can do.
I agree with others don’t pay for any luxurious things she can’t respect your wishes as her parents take away what she likes most let her earn her priveldges back. In the long run she’s a child you are a adult and responsibilities of her actions also fall on you.
Turning your back on her at 14 is def not the answer. That will not help. It will only push her into those things more and you’ll more than likely lose her forever🤷♀️
Whatever u decide to do as punishment stick to it!! Nothing shows a kid your a pushover like not following thru with a punishment. I dont care how much she kicks and screams. Say what u mean and mean what u say!!!
Don’t throw her out that’s just asking for her to go down the wrong path, try taking her to the cop shop instead they give talks to teens that might be doing drugs etc. Give her a right scare and hopefully she’ll turn her life round
Don’t kick her out . Explain to her that it’s so bad for her health. Kids will experiment whether we like it if not . It could be drinking , smoking drugs what ever . She’s been open and honest about it to you. As much as it kills you inside just be there for her . Putting her out on the street will only make things worse In the long run!
Cigarettes are very expensive. She won’t be able to afford them . Don’t give her any money and she’ll find out the hard way .
I’m currently dealing with this with my 14 and 13 year olds. No electronics, restricted to the property, and drug tests every week. I’ll turn them in to the cops and do a “scared straight” before I throw them out. Make them face their consequences
Cut her off from her outside life . That’s a very bad addiction that will have her in mood swings !!! I was that kid … trust me !!!
Yes. You are wrong. This is your child and she is 14. Move if you have to and do not let her around her friends. She can be with you 24/7 if that is what it takes. Do what you have to do right now. Keep her with you at all times. No drinking, no smoking, no drugs for either of you. Have fun with her. Teach her and be with her. The next 4 years are your last chance.
Take away all her privileges. Dont give her stuff she wants. She will soon learn who is boss. Cause she definitely isnt the boss of u. If u kick her out you are allowing her to get her way cause she will be like cool I’ll just stay at my friends and I can smoke there.
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U need to start taking privileges away before u kick her out cell phone going out etc or beat her at her own game buy her a bunch of packs of cigarettes n make her smoke them all in front of u till she gets sick maybe thats over board but do what ever it takes to make her see the big picture
Parenting is tough but asking her to leave is reckless and you will regret it… the main issues are lack of respect, rebellion, peer pressure etc.
If she won’t listen/ engage in discussion, write her a letter, explain you love her, only want the best for her, worry about the health risks of smoking and drugs.
Maybe offer her an incentive - if she stops smoking/ drugs, you will match her savings, or double them, give her a goal to work towards…
Remind her that you are the parent. Be firm but calm. Just don’t let her rattle you - teens love to do that to parents! Try to get on the same wavelength if you can…
Just a couple of suggestions. I wish you the best and hope things work out for you 
Well until she is 18 … you are responsible for her …so either she does what she is suppose to or put her in a program where has tooo… she is gonna be in jail or prison or dead so …as long as i the parents have say so … she would go into a program
My mother stayed on my butt and stood her ground ! I earn a good living now and have never smoked
Thank God she was so determined
Don’t throw her out!!! Tell her the conciquncies of smoking and if need to show pictures. Sound like she needs new friends but, then by forbidding her to see them will only cause more trouble. I smoke and wished I never started and it had made more wrinkles than I wanted around my mouth. Plus the other damages it causes. Sometime I feel out of place smoking since its not thing to do anymore. Smoking not only cause lung damages but, also heart, veins collapsing, and other damages. Talk to her instead of getting mad and yelling at her.
Wow. You’re considering kicking a teenager out for being a teenager? I’m the mother of 4 daughters, 20 to 13, and this is your first plan? You need to find a therapist fast, because smoking is one of the easy ones, and if your default is “get out” you’re not parenting, you’re dictating.
I was 12 when I started smoking, I’m 33 now and trying to stop, so far its been working, I say this, let her, don’t kick her out because you will get into trouble for doing that, be there to support her, but don’t buy them for her, cigarettes isn’t cheap, if she is going to smoke then she needs to provide her own bad habit, that’s what I had to do
Pray get some council talk to a pastor teenage councils what ever you do don’t give up on her do not kick her out she needs your guidance go to counseling together she may not want to but take her anyway if she i s on drugs check on some rehab please everyone reading this pray for her I pray Jesus watch over her and your family Amen IN JESUS Holy Name Amen
I wouldn’t pack her bags. I would restrict her freedoms. Wouldnt let ppl over. Show her some pics of lungs of a smoker.
You can turn off internet on phone fyi. Make it where can call only
Yes, you’re in the wrong here. That’s your daughter. I understand you want what’s best for her, but you have to be a support for her as well. I was 12-13 when I started smoking cigarettes & 14 when I started smoking pot. When my mom found out I was smoking cigarettes, she didn’t get mad, she was disappointed because she smokes & never wanted me to start. Others may think it’s wrong, but she bought me cigarettes or tobacco (she rolled her cigarettes so it was rare that we actually got packs). Again, she wasn’t happy, but she dealt with it in her own way. When she found out I was smoking pot, she again was not happy, but she didn’t punish me. She knows kids experiment & that’s what she let me do. She allowed me to smoke at home, but she absolutely refused to buy it for me. She said if I was gonna do it, she wasn’t gonna supply it. & she never did.
I don’t think you should kick her out my 16 year old was smoking weed and is now pregnant discipline her don’t kick her out she will feel as though you don’t want her and it will make things worse she will hate that you ground her take away her phone or whatever you do but in all reality children crave discipline i know I sure did she will respect you more in the end if you have to take her to a program for help and get counseling for the both of you
I once listened to a pod cast that said if your child gets in with the wrong crowd than you need to question what in your child’s life has made them feel comfortable being around troubled people.
I was her when I was younger and it wasn’t until my mom did the same to me that I changed. You’re doing the right thing!
Take her for a tour of the cancer patients with lung cancer. Maybe seeing it in a diff perspective will knock sense into her head.
For some smoking…you’re gonna lose her?
Positive reinforcement of other activities (extracurriculars and stuff) might work but pushing her out is gonna push her into way more than smoking
I know you want to assert dominance over her bc she’s being an ass but she’s a)at the age it’s gonna be influenced and b) at the age she’s gonna rebel and c) probably going through a lot in her mind w hormones and adolescence
Don’t let her smoke a whole pack, yeah, parents have done it in the past but if she ends up with nicotine poisoning you’ll be in trouble too. Shes likely only smoking a couple a day and a whole pack would not be good for her. Also, why would you kick her out?!
I mean. Smoking? Pot? Cigarettes? I started smoking cigarettes about that age but it was experimenting. I got addicted at 16. I’m 24 and currently no longer smoking and when my mom found out when i was 16 she told me the dangers and how it affects my health and we continued our day. She told me she was disappointed which hurt but she never yelled or screamed out threatened to kick me out. Pushing them away and hating them for their actions is just going to ruin your relationship. She’s a teenager. She’s learning the world. Pot is a different story for me because my anxiety was to bad to do my of that growing up. Jail scared me enough to keep me straight but i did start when i was 20 living in my own home and living life just fine. 
to each their own but don’t try and control her life. Let her learn. Teach her not discipline her. It will help both of you in the long run.
I wouldn’t kick her out, you are now pushing her down the path you don’t want her down. She told you which means she feel guilty and knows it’s wrong the best thing you can do with her is have a big talk about the risks if she doesn’t listen to you take her to you gp and get them to talk to her about the risk factors
No friends! No phone! School and home! Sorry not sorry!
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You can’t kick her out. She’s 14! What are you thinking? You need to take a deep breath and consider realistic solutions. Start family counseling asap.
Smoking is expensive, don’t give her any extra money and hopefully it won’t become a habit. Plus her friends will have bumming them out to her.
Do you need me to send pictures of my twin brother I tried to get him to stop smoking for years … He passed away 2017…I took pictures of all the tubes and needles the hospital had in him a few months before he passed. I found out just 3 days he had lung cancer before he passed away…Tell your daughter to PLEASE STOP WE ALL WANT HER TO LIVE
Not trying to sound ignorant but the worst thing you can do is turn your back on her. Educate her on drugs, punish her, etc. YOU are her mother. It is your job to teach her right from wrong. Do you know why most people start doing drugs to begin with? To escape reality. Don’t enable her but be there for her!
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This should be kept in your family! We all have issues with teenagers…just dont post something that personal. Delete!!!
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Old fashioned parenting! Whoop her ass and be a mother. Your the parent. Your house your rules. There is no kicking her out. There is a good ass whooping, straighten her up, ground her, give her responsibility, instill respect, take control back of your kid so she grows up the right way before it’s too late and ends up like the parents who don’t care and let their kids do whatever they want and go steal, loot, etc.
Send her to farm camp or something like that she has no money to live she is a child it’s really your responsibility to figure out how to fix things call around for options take away everything no door no electronics no extra activities try that
People, of any age, don’t change until they are ready to do so. Can’t say you can force her to get “help” but I’m not sure what I would do in your situation.
I’m sorry but she’s only 14 and your gonna give up and kick her out already? If you put her out where will she go? How will she get an education? I know your frustrated but PLEASEE think before you act.
I was like that at 14. Punishments won’t help. Itll make it worse. The more you punish, the more she will rebel. Find out why the behavior is happening. She needs help
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Let her learn the hard way.
The silent treatment can sometimes go way further than scolding. Just stop talking to her. It always worked for my mom. Lol
Kicking her out is wrong and will only drive her into the arms of those bad influences. You should have said " were going to family therapy "
Sounds like me and I WISH my parents would’ve done everything they could to help me because I was a kid and wouldn’t listen for shit. I would do anything to go back now and make better choices… send her ass to boarding school or somewhere that can help her… like turn about ranch on dr Phil😂
DO NOT THREATEN! TEENAGERS WILL MOVE OUT ON A DIME! I did at 16, got married in high school. Why you might ask… my parents in my mind never approved of my friends, my choices, nothing I did was up to true expectations.
Don’t be a friend be a parent BUT be a parent with good listening skills and a lot of EMPATHY. Your teenager probably is on social media ( devil’s device) plays video games( desensitization of morals) and dresses like he/ or she is much older than they are. Whose fault is that? Todays society… social media, peers… so on and so on. A daily family meeting discussion about what’s going on in the world , at school and most IMPORTANTLY family and their thoughts and feelings. Communication is so key. I raised 3 sons wasn’t the best Mom nor was I the worst. Now I have Grands and watching how my sons are raising theirs is a mirror to how they were raised, actions, values. Words, believes , etc. Good luck… stop nagging and communicate.
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Lock her away! No more hanging out with friends outside of school. Too damn bad! If she doesn’t like it, she can smarten up.
I’m sure you’re frustrated, but that’s major neglect if you do kick her out and you could lose her forever over something as silly as smoking. And then with nothing else to lose, what will stop her from doing real drugs and ending up living under a bridge somewhere eventually? You need to guide her now more than ever. Not abandon her.
I know smoking is gross and unhealthy, but you’re legally responsible for her until she’s 18 or emancipated. That’s the risk of having kids. They make mistakes and choices that you don’t agree with. 
Take her to a drug rehab clinic. Dont tell her just go for a drive and that’s where you end up. Get her to talk to people who are battling addiction.
I feel like being homeless at that age would lead to a lot worse things than smoking. Prostitution for example. Please don’t kick her out. I smoked cigarettes and weed and defied my Mom at that age and and all through high school but she never let go and now I’m one of the most well adjusted people I know.
She’s only 14 same as my Stepdaughter
Extremely tough age
The disrespect that she has is disgusting
So I get it
But U can not just kick your child out
She I your responsibility
Maybe one parenting classes may help
She’s 14 by law you can’t even kick her out of the house discipline her she’s a child they make bad choices that’s how they learn
I wouldn’t kick her out she’s still your child and as adults we still go down wrong paths in our lives if she wants to smoke take her job hunting because she is going to need to pay for her habit I would also continue to drum it into her every single day why it is not good to smoke, the cost the smell the diseases you get from smoking keep them coming every single day don’t allow her to smoke at your home you need to not give up on her but keep on her with the reasons why it’s not good show those ugly pictures put them all over your home if you must just don’t stop !She is only human and still a child finding her path in life
I did the same thing but i took her to her so called friend to stay. She cane back months later.Now she is older she understands.she has two kids now.
I been there where your at now I know everyone is say your wrong by telling your to pack her bags yeah that is wrong but its like your pin up against the wall and what I did with my daughter is gave the choices to give smoking up or her freedom like hang out with her friends and her phone or any electronics she may have because me grounding my daughter didn’t work but it might work for yours and take way things she likes doing on the weekend.
Putting her out on the street is not going to help. If it’s that bad. She is fourteen put her in a treatment facility
Sounds like there was dysfunction before smoking. How is your relationship? Who is managing her time that she has the freedom to be around people who do drugs? She admitted it, so I’d start with asking her why? Peer pressure? Depression? Lack of positive attention at home? You kick her out you get CPS involved or she is trafficked etc. She doesn’t know “ the path” but you do. Parent up. Take the door off the hinges. No more friend outings for awhile. Take her to counseling because she has something going on and it seems like your too frustrated to try to get to the root. If you freak out on her now, she won’t tell you things later. Telling your mom your smoking is a cry for attention and she’ll get it somewhere if not at home. Have her help with chores, put her in a sport, spend time with her and limit who she hangs with. Teach her coping skills and talk about self esteem and friendships. She is in 8th or 9th grade at that age. Idle time makes for bad choices. Keep her so busy at home and with an outlet and she won’t have time to hang around other peers who clearly have too much time and money to get bad stuff. Kids need more parenting during these years not less. Sounds like you might need some counseling if your willing to kick out a minor instead of working through it. She won’t accept help means she needs help. Good luck to you.
Give her something to work towards. Take her to a car dealership. Show her a cool affordable used car. Let her know that she can have that in one year if she can stay clean and keep a job. All paychecks go into a savings that she cant draw on. The second she slips up, cash goes to zero. Take her to a rehab and show her what her life is going to be like being a bad ass big mouth kid. Its a ticket to having nothing. All of those people have hit rockbottom and ended up there. If she wants to have shitty breath, yellow teeth and garbage smelling clothes…let her. Dont do her laundry. Let her stink. My mother smoked for 50 years. Shes hooked on oxygen and cant climb stairs. She was a registered nurse and worked in forensics. She knew better but cant stop. She hasnt seen her grandchildren in 4 years because she cant breathe. Its so 1989 to start smoking. Like wtf is she thinking. I would rather save my money at 14 and go whiten my teeth at a dentist and maybe go buy cute outfits. If her friends do drugs than she needs to be removed from.the friends.
You cannot kick a child out of your home, adult and set rules with consequences. If it gets too bad send her to a juvenile detention center or something, military style that will whip her ass in shape
She was honest. Seems like an opportunity for dialogue. Throwing your 14 year old out in the street seems like the wrong direction to go here.
Wtf.
You need to take all electronics, drop and pick her up from school… get window/door alarms to keep her ass in (you can buy them at Lowe’s, they take batteries and no contracts or paying to use)
Set your house as a prison until she can show decency, I get you are at last end, but you need to look into why she is acting out like this other than her so called friends… speaking of the friends, I would be calling the parents and going up to the school…
You have to do what is right for you, but you are legal responsible for her till she is 18. You also will have to face the consequences.
Sit her down and let her smoke an entire pack as quickly as possible. She’ll be sick of few days and like I did, quit.
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A bit harsh, who knows what she could do if she out there w no one. Not cool.
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Honestly the more you try to keep her from doing the more she’ll feel compelled to do it. I say let her do it remind how she stinks like an ashtray teeth getting yellow etc… kicking her out will definitely lead her to doing it more or drugs.
Spend more time with her find out what she likes to do find activities for her to do… counseling might help. Don’t drug test her let her know she can continue to trust you and come to you.
Not to be all judgy but what/where do you expect a 14 year old to go? Her trashy lil friends house to do what continue what she’s doing for a couple weeks having a good ole time? Which she will and eventually tire of it and come home but in that time is plenty of time for irreversible consequences.
Or on the street? For her to what end up dead? Kidnapped? Human trafficking I mean the list goes on.
Your the adult your the parent.
She’s does she have a job? Where’s she getting the money for cigarettes? Quit handing her money, quit letting her go around her little friends quit driving her there she walks out call the cops on her happy lil ass.
When she’s doin all this where are you? Again not to be judgy but she’s a child your an adult be the adult and take control back before she’s on drugs knocked up or in jail.
if she packs her bags and leave will she be safe. if she dose then she could start more then just smoke. i know paranting can be hard but my some smokes every now then 15y old now get disrespected more then he smokes he just sits playing xbox right now. i never kick him out just rry get thou to him. if your thinking of kicking her out send her rehab your her mother and have the right to please talk to your doc mental heath plan may help you both i had one done ands help my boy lots
Make her smoke as many as possible until she get sick… I started smoking at 15😥 I wished someone would knock some real sense to me… I still can’t quit
My story … you can judge all you want … 15 I got caught my mom the next morning was like your gonna smoke anyway, put perfume on bla bla so w.e … mind you the strictest mother in the worldddd… it was just a fase I didn’t even inhale … it sucks but if you attack her she’ll probably want to do it more … teenage mentality …just watch who’s she’s hanging out with… I had to be home at a certain time till I was 18… make a curfew at least.
Why let her hang around her friends??? Show her who’s the boss. Take her cell phone and electronics away. She needs discipline.
There are other ways but putting her in harms way there are hot lines you can reach out to if you send her out she may end up worse
Get a pint glass and 3/4 fill it with water and ask her to put the butts in it. It will be disgusting within very short time. I’m a 6 year ex smoker and would NEVER smoke again. I smoked for many years. Just had two valves replaced in my heart (unrelated) but the recovery would have been much harder as a smoker!
In my state If you make her leave it’s abandonment and child neglect.
You know that if she breaks the law you can go to jail too. Plus you deal with it. Thats your child. You never throw out your child. This parent needs to take parenting classes pronto
I am so sorry you are going through that. Maybe put her in the car and take her to the jail and have the officers talk to her and show her what can happen if she continues that path.
Telling a 14 year old to pack her bag? Kids are getting trafficked and horrible things are happening to them. How can you put your child in the street instead of dealing with the problem.
Kids her age know it all and your the enemy. I would take away privileges no phone, computer internet, no social gatherings, pick up drop off to school and make her do more chores she obviously has too my free time lol bless you heart momma
You are the parent. Foot down she is to young. Give it a few more yrs. This generation seems to think they know better but they don’t.
In my experience if I was told that during my phase like this I would love to leave and do more drugs 
that might sink her in a hole
I had the same problem here I couldn’t deal with it coming and going smoking drinking stealing lying pushed me into a mental break down.
Kicking her out for smoking isn’t going to solve the whole smoking problem if anything it’s going to make her more rebellious and cause way more problems later on in life, all you can do is make sure she has no more contact with the other kids that’s shes been influenced by, either it be taking away all electronics, and switching schools or even try homeschooling her for the remainder of this year and make life a little less privileged shes 14 it’s usually at that age where parents need to put their foot down. Good luck momma!
Wow. Is all I have to say. Cuz smoking is the worst thing she could do rite? Throw her to the wolves… Want to know how it turns out? When your thrown away as a child? How about a 15 year meth addiction. Chronic homelessness. PTSD And chronic severe mental health issues from abandonment and the shit you see on the street. Teenagers are hard. Get your shit together…
Take everything away nothing but a bed in her room. You give her the clothes you want her to wear everyday. No purse, no phone, no makeup, no internet. Talk to the school. You don’t alow any friend time. When she gets home you have her copy and Wright a chapter out of her science, history books and check that she did it. Weekend give her a book to read and make a report out of it. Take control.
Where is she getting money from for them. Get her some help before it goes to much further. A girls school. She’s making bad choices. Hang in there.
Abandoning a 14 year old is illegal in most states so I would say breaking the law as consequences to her breaking not only your house rules but the country’s laws might need to be reconsidered
A mother’s love can heal everything and calm a raging sea… I know it’s hard but breathe and show her luv. Trust me I have 5 kids two teenagers and three toddlers
I wouldn’t tell her to pack her bags…I did that and created havoc in her life. Regret it every day!
Love unconditionally. I know its sooooo hard, but the bratty, know it all teens do come around! 14…I feel like thats just the start of it and honestly, be thankful its just smoking…it could be so much worse than smoking!
Be her parent right now friendship comes later when they are grown its your rules and you are responsible for her take away what she likes till she does the right thing
If she’s smoking weed literally weed is the LAST THING TO WORRY ABOUT. Weed is harmless. Now if it’s other drugs ground her not kick her out. Explain to her what can happen and show her pictures of people on hard drugs. Marijuana is not a hard drug. Chill out and talk to your child. She will rebel. I did. My mom kicked me out at 16 for weed.
So…shes breaking the law. Seems like the parents need to take control and stop the issue instead of being her “friend”
Take her to a nursing home or physical rehab…let her see what happens to smokers. Emphysema is no joke. Getting a limb amputated is no joke…i saw this when I was a PT tech
Send her to military school, boot camp, etc,
Get her ass whooped.
If my daughter was doing that to me and was disrespectful, I would send her ass to boot camp till she begs to come back. They can keep her ass till I say otherwise lol
Never let kids take over, cuz if you do it just once, they’ll think they always have control over you.
As someone who was in that exact postition don’t do that, keep her close and keep reminding her not to do that show her shit that smoking causes and what drugs cause usually when teens do that it’s a cry for attention or trying to fit in figure out why she did it why she is still doing it and work from there
Yeah I’d say you’re wrong to kick your daughter out at 14. Talk to her instead of judging her. If you’re going to put Parenting… you have to actually be a parent, not give up on your kid. She will remember it and she will resent you for it.