Ya she is 14 u need to talk to her and tell her that drugs are not good also do be to hard on her are she will just do bad try and talk to her are tell her a story about yourself are someone u know kids are hard got twin girls 17 and a boy trust me I know
I’d enroll her at a different school. Maybe cut off her allowance. Have her start babysitting or something to make money. If she has to work to pay for her things she may reconsider. Show her a video on the effects smoking has on lungs and aging. Don’t threaten to kick her out! That will only cause her to rebel more against you and teach her to not trust you etc. Take away her electronics and tell her as long as she’s smoking etc she’s not getting them back. Have her buy her own phone and pay for it. She needs responsibility and accountability. Atm she’s a bored teenager with no real responsibilities.
I’d also be letting her friends parents know that their children smoke and are doing drugs if they already don’t know
I caught my daughter with a vape pen a few months ago and questioned her on how she got it and why she had it. I was so upset but we had a nice long chat. She doesn’t need to vape. It’s disgusting just like smoking a regular cigarette and addicting as well as a regular cigarette. If her “friends” vape she don’t need to associate with them. Haven’t had any issues since our chat.
She doesn’t make the rules - you do.
The friends need to go as well as all luxuries like phones, internet, iPads, except for school work
No going anywhere except school and noncompliance should have consequences and take away all cash and don’t give anymore.
Cigs or weed? This is typical teenager. Try to sit and talk to her like a human and not just as her mother, ask why she is doing it and if she really likes it or is doing it to “fit in” I remember giving my mother a hard time, i started smoking weed at 13 some people I knew did other drugs but I did not. I never will, she needs to learn the hard way maybe. But do not kick her out for simply being a human and trying things, we all did it. Times have changed and our kids try things earlier and earlier, if she shows disrespect after trying to talk just normal with her then seriously ground her, instead of taking the phone away restrict all usage except emergency calls and phone calls to you, incase she runs away and gets into trouble and needs you like every girl does.
File a petition with your county juvenile court and let her get some sight into her future if she stays on that path. The judge and probation officer might be able to open her eyes
I started smoking when I was 14. I did it because I wanted to die. But I didn’t want to make a mess or traumatize anyone by having them find my body. I’d been told my whole life that smoking kills. So I started smoking.
Take her to therapy.
You cannot kick your daughter out. Maybe introduce her to a long cancer patient…find out first hand the dangers. Any cigarettes you find…trash them ! She is your daughter…love her and pray for her !
14 and one bad thing and you kick her out? You know that’s gonna do more damage than good, right? Shes just gonna live with one of these friends or maybe couch hop through all of them except for now she literally has no support system. Think it through dude.
Man, my mama wouldn’t made me eat the tobacco from every single cigarette in a pack, took my ass to the PD and told them to lock me up until court the next morning, and then she would’ve told the judge to take me for 6 weeks. Don’t believe me?
I drank 1 time… 1 time… she found out and beat my ass with a yard stick and called the police on me. After i pulled 250 hours of community service, probation for 1 year with regular drug test… I didn’t do that shit no more.
Short answer yes you are dead WRONG. You don’t get to just give up on your kid because it isn’t easy. Did you think having and raising a child would be a walk in the park? Maybe you should get her help instead of abandoning her and making her feel alone in the world.
i don’t think you can legally kick her out ! you are still responsible for her she isn’t an adult! you can get her into a drug program and counseling
My girl took us through the works beyond works and more, I stood by her, refused to stop trying and even moved towns to try help it. Sadly it did nothing, she’s now 16 and pregnant living in hood world and still thinks she knows best. I feel disrespected to the core but after my last attempt to help I got it thrown in my face so I’ve had to draw the line. All I can say is don’t give up until you’ve tried everything.
Set rules.
Be the parent.
Take away electronics and turn off WiFi
School and nothing else
I’d even drop and pick up her.
And then make her do chores…
A huge thing would be counseling.
You cannot have the fence(rules)
Apply now and then.
They have to be stable and enforced repeatedly not just now and then.
Also dont give lunch money either the child can eat school food or pack a lunch.
If they try and sneak out put a alarm system.
If they still do take door off hinges.
Both parents need to be on the same side and not give in or allow the child to play another to get their way.
There are also over the counter drug tests you can purchase.
You can mention emancipation. The police threatened my mom with arresting her. I was just staying with a friend. After staying in a park. I was aclil suicidal but doing well otherwise. Grew up way faster than my friends.
How much attention and love are you giving this girl. Usually acting out is just a cry for attention
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No bag packing, advise to get some movies about damage to body parts due to smoking. Add in the various deseises caused by smoking. There are some pretty gross ones out there, even on tv. Smoking also increases depression, and while it might temp. make her " one of the crew" that won’t last long. She needs your help, not a bus out of town
You are absolutely not wrong. Don’t enable her. You’re doing the right thing.
Putting her on the streets is not the answer!! If you are at that point then I would guess her smoking might be the least of your problems. Have you forgotten you are the adult, I would make sure she doesn’t forget that as well!! Take all luxuries away, not to mention go after the ass that is A, buying cigarettes for under age kids or B, Report who is responsible for it. Or just do what my parents probably would have done, go buy a pack of cigarettes and make her smoke one after another till she gets sick!!
My ex husband was taken to an orphanage to spend the night once when younger,
“Opened his eyes”…
And he can joke about it now …
The orphanage was more than willing to be helpful when called.
Do you smoke? Where did she learn the behavior? Kids/ teens are dealing with a chaotic world - nothing like we were raised in!
I would buy her a pack of cigarettes and make her sit in front of you and smoke each and every one right after the last! Hopefully she will be sick and disgusted. Then tell her those are the last cigarettes she will smoke in your home. She is pushing you - testing the boundaries - keep your emotions out of it. She is seeking attention. Stay close! Keep me updated - I care💕
Punishments don’t work. Have an honest heart to heart with her but don’t be judgemental or angry if she shares anything with you. Just listen to her. Maybe share some stories with her about you when you were her age and tell her what you wish you would’ve done differently back then. Let her make mistakes but if you make it easier for her to communicate with her, she’ll be comfortable to tell you what’s going on and ask for advice. Then you can influence her that way
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Law says she has to have a bed to sleep in…clothes …not brandm name. . Food in her belly. No cell phone no TV in her room. Computer in common area for all of family and only used for school work
Show her what cancer does and where it will put you. My dad has bladder cancer from smoking. My grandfather died of esophageal cancer. Smoking is just cancer waiting to happen. So sad to start at 14. Got to be something
Do what you have to do. Sometimes kids push us into the tough love phase. They need to realize that we, as parents, have been there, done that and are not a STUPID as they think we are.
you cant ask a 14year old to pack his or her bags.
rather speak to someone and get help to quit.
See if there is anyone you know that knows someone who has or had lung cancer, COPD, on oxygen that would talk to her also get information for her to read. Educate her on what happens when she gets older if she smokes.
Biggest mistake to kick out a teenager. U dnt want her to think u dnt love her. Now in days this world is so dangerous…kinda gotta let herself get into trouble so she can go to juve. Then from their begins all the help u can get… Its hard… To this day am having trouble with my 18 yr old son in law. But i say they will grow up and learn or they will grow up smoking but under their own roof … And they have their own responsibilities paying their own bills… But believe me am against drugs. Wish alcohol was nvr invented. Lol its just I know 2 ppl that got killed cuz the other person was under the influence of alcohol…
I would not let her hang out with those friends. Drop her off at school and pick her up. Don’t give her the opportunity to smoke. Ease up when she earns your trust back
Waaaaaayyy wrong. As a parent I could never imagine kicking my children out of their home. You’re her parent. Parent her. It’s kinda your job.
Lay your foot down! She’s 14! Homeschool! NO FRIENDS! NO SOCIAL MEDIA or PHONES! Make her withdrawal and feel what it feels like -just from nicotine . Threaten to move towns 
your In charge! Kicking her out is just making a future addict , rape victim, pregnant ect 
No your not give her a reality check make her learn the hard way. Or take her to juvenile detention center before it gets to worse.
Do you have bail money? Be prepared to get arrested if you kick her out. That’s abandonment/neglect. Take everything away and put her (and yourself) in counseling
You can’t kick out a 14 yo. Keep her in the house. Work on communication. Keep her away from these friends. But DO NOT GIVE UP ON HER!!! This is the worst thing you could possibly do for her!!!
Well, I could send her a picture of the oxygen bottle I have to lug around with me when I leave the house and a picture of the oxygen machine I’m tied to when I am at home…all because I started smoking when I graduated from high school. Maybe that’d help.
I started smoking around that age. I was not a horrible person/child. My mother would NEVER consider kicking me out. That’s absolutely ludicrous you would even consider that a option.
Nice way to give up on your child, try rehab, its clear that they want a “good child” not their child
take them shes a minor she must follow the law. u as the parent can either “disrespect her privacy” or the “police can”… pick ur poison…
Don’t kick her out but don’t let her hang out with friends like that and get her into counseling. Get her as much help as you can now.
I would never tell my children to pack their bags. Do some fun things with her. It’s a very vulnerable age. Where do they get the money to buy these things.
I would schedule therapy for her. Some family ones and some by herself. Kicking her out wont change her behavior at all.
Don’t toss her out. Mothers and daughters have it tough during the teenage years. Do the best you can. She will do like everybody else and learn the hard way.
Get in touch with a counselor. Not sure if young kids can renter rehab but help her by putting her in one.
Maybe shock treatment. If she thinks she’s cute show her some before and after pics of meth users. Impress on her the risks to her hygiene, “bad breath, discolored teeth, hair always smelling like an ashtray etc.” (This is not a judgement of smokers, just portrayal of extreme cases) Take her to visit with people that have conditions because of smoking.
Go and buy her a pack of cigarettes and go outside and make her chain smoke the cigarettes. I bet she won’t smoke again and then I’d ground her for a couple of weeks. If she continues then make the consequences worse.
My mom kicked me out when I was 16 and our relationship has never been the same… I am almost 30 now. I understand my decisions at that time were ones she didn’t agree with, but I would NEVER abandon my child because she did something that I don’t like. I feel so much resentment and anger toward her for having given up on me without trying, as if I wasn’t worth the “work”. Having been 14 once, try putting yourself in your daughters shoes- what would’ve worked or resonated with you at that age? She obviously is just trying to fit in and be cool and if all of her friends and doing drugs at 14, something is going to happen that’ll prove to your daughter they aren’t. It was your choice to have your child, this unfortunately comes with the territory. I know you didn’t intentionally sign up for this but it’s temporary just like the “terrible twos”, “the threenager” and etc.
There are TONS of books, resources etc that could help you find coping strategies. Please don’t give up on her this easily or you will regret it.
I from a state where it’s illegal for them to smoke, under the age of 18. If caught smoking teens aren’t allowed to get permits, or driving licenses until after they turn 18.
I wouldn’t kick her out… That’s like throwing her to the wolves. Too dangerous out there. Just buckle down and don’t let her out of your sight. Don’t give her the opportunity to see those friends.
Um, you’re the parent,.not her . Letting a child smoke at 14 is giving her a cancer sentence. Please use critical thinking and fight for your child
When my granddaughter was that age and being disobedient her mother removed her door everything in her room except her bed, bedding, 3 outfits and 1 pair of shoes. Stored it all in the locked garage. If was hard but worth it!My granddaughter had nothing, wore the same 3 outfits and pair of shoes for 2 weeks during school. If changed her and she became grateful and respectful. Only took that one time because she knew her mother would do it again!
Way to be a mom and be there for your kids. Is she an addict? Is she being crazy? Or is she just being a teen 
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Honestly I started smoking to help with my anxiety and ptsd and it does more than anti depressant do. You can’t completely let her go cold turkey bcz she can get sick. She’s 14 I wouldn’t like if my kid did it but it’s sorta a cry for mental health. Shes probably dealing with something mentally that it’s making her feel less of a person. If she gets caught then she gets caught, as long as you’re not buying the cigs for her or letting her do it under your roof u should be fine. 14 is the age of trying to find out who they are as a person.
From my experience, when kids push you away the hardest is when they need you most.
Where does she get the money to buy cigarettes and drugs? Is she working at the age of 14 or is someone helping her pay for those things. It’s a tough job being a parent.
she is not at an age you should tell her to pack her bags. She is a young teen and she is making poor choices she will regret later. You have to help her, talk to her over and over if you have to. If that does not work move on the counceling. This poor choice is huge so you should only try to be her Mama and nothing to do with being her friend… she has to hear the cold truth about these types of choices, then it is up to her to quit and really all you can do is stay behind her speaking about smoking and disrespect. The more her time is taken up, the less she has to smoke.
Kicking your kid at that age wont help, who would she turn to for survival. I suggest you change her school if they are all attending the same school. Try limiting her freedoms.
I’m a relatively new parent. I have three daughters, each under 3 yo. Is this really a problem people have??? I’m already freaking out about their teen years bc I know they will be dramatic and stubborn and have a smart ass mouth bc well they are my children but this??? Is this common?
She 14 years old educate her and discipline her. Dont make her homeless that opens her up to alot of dangerous life choices…
I would not kick her out for smoking. It’s natural. As a mother you should be there for her. It could be so much worse
What?? She’s 14!! Why on earth would you kick her out!?! She is a product of what you have already taught her and if you want her to do better then you need to too. Love the shit out of her and eventually she will find the right path.
Do not throw her out . You are the parent you set the rules . You should be happy she told you she started smoking . You Set the example , you Set the rules, what she can and cannot have (phone , laptop, can’t hangout w friends , etc)
My mom said her dad made them keep smoking cigarettes until they threw up, and if they ever did again he made them repeat it until they never wanted to
Set rules. Boundaries. Take that child to church and teach her about the Lord. Lead by example!
I don’t recommend it, but as an adult I don’t smoke… because at 13 my grandma made me smoke a whole pack. (Or try to at least) because I told her if she could smoke I could. She said ok and handed me a pack. I stopped smoking, I may have started puking but I stopped. .
I would never kick my child out for that. I wouldn’t condone it and ground her but never kick her out … that’s your baby… what if something happens to her when she isn’t living at home? Would you ever forgive yourself ?
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When I got caught smoking my parents sat me down and made me chain smoke like 4 or 5 cigarettes in a row until I pretty much threw up. Sounds harsh but it works.
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She’s 14! Who is the adult? You are responsible for her until 18. So you need to pull up your big girl panties and be mom. Not her friend. If talking isn’t working try the fear of Jesus! It works! Always!
If this were my 14 year old she’d most likely have a busted lip. Sitting in her bedroom with just a bed and dresser. Not even a door because her disrespectful ass will have to earn it back along with all her other belongings that I paid for.
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Just make her pay for her own insurances if she is going to choose to smoke… it’s an expensive habit
If she’s 14 (a child) and living under your roof, it’s your rules. I would send my child packing in a heartbeat if she started smoking at 14 and refused to quit.
They have drug programs and counseling for teens. I would look into it to see if any around you.
So sorry for you it’s a heart breaker for others I have lost m0st all my family and 2 children and
So sorrymy grown son on oxygen my heart aches for you
It’s called TOUGH LOVE. Stick to your rules. It your home she needs to live by them. She will understand in the long run.
Idk where you live but in Cali you can’t just kick out your child under 18 even at 18 they MUST be evited. If you wanna throw her out, I can only imagine your authoritarianism that drove her to drugs & smoking to begin with🙄 She obviously has issues & is hanging out with a crowd that understands her & she is self medicating. So easy for you to throw her away rather than step up & be a mom. Parenting is down right ugly at times but suck it up & handle your kid. She will hate you now but love you later. You need to keep her home, maybe talk to the other parents let them know what is going on & that you don’t want the kids together because you don’t want either side influencing the other. Don’t take the easy way out because you don’t want to do your job as a parent. During times like this you gotta love HARDER, dig deep & save your kid not send her out to the wolves.
Shes 14… that’s not even realistic to throw her out. Put her in home school or a private school away from those friends
What planet do you live on. She’s 14, be a parent, not her friend. Were you perfect at 14? They don’t come with instruction books.
Take her to see…or get video…of people on a cpap…or v ntilator…etc…to see holes in the throat…to see the effect s of cancer eating at you…it’s very graphic…
I think you’re wrong. She’s 14. Her mind is easily clouded by wanting to fit in. They don’t normally listen to reason and all she’s going to remember is that you have up on her. It won’t feel like her just “packing her bags.”
I wouldn’t kick her out but at the same time, it’s your house your rules. If she wants to live under your roof she’s gotta grow up. She’s just so young. I’m sorry you’re going through this.
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Get Child Protective Services Involved!! It could save you much heartache!! At 14 if she leaves she is a runaway and will become prey of the streets
Show her a video of someone trying to breath with bad copd or emphysema or even both! I work with a lot of clients that have either or both and it’s what got me to quit smoking after smoking for almost 30 years and I’m only 39! I have had trouble breathing since my early 20’s and just quit! And I’m terrified I’m going to end up dying of cancer now! Whichim watching my mom go through copd, eczema and lung cancer as well!
There are apps on the phone that sends her texts to you. There are apps to track her whereabouts. But to be honest. I would change the WiFi password and not tell her.
She has to learn on her own you have to by there so when she fails you are there to help her out and let her know that you still love her.
If she’s smoking cigarettes or weed do not kick her out. Yes she’s only 14 but that’s a little extreme. I started smoking weed at 15 and never touched drugs. You tell a 14 year old too pack their bags don’t complain even they do it.
Just cut out her friends,change her school,phone no etc.Do it with the help of her therapist to show her how she’s in bad company
Urm ground her?? She’s 14 don’t kick her out… You’ll be the only one she blames if her life goes wrong because you gave up on her.
She is only 14 you are the parent- reel her in before you can’t-you paying the bills? She is manipulating you- get her involved with sports that helped us growing up
She’s 14. She’s a child wise up and parent your dam child. That’s why kids today are entitled little shits. No boundaries and no respect.
She can look forward in getting a stroke. Ask my brother, he just laugh at me. Not anymore. The doctors said the is the main cause of stokes
I’m praying for you because the biggest hurdle which is getting them to talk to you seems like you have that. Thank God you have this communication with your child and all you really can do is be a role model and live the best life you can and talk to her about it all. I will keep you in my prayers
Take every freedom she has away. No phone, no internet, no friends! Make her earn everything back. Trust is earned not given. If she can’t be responsible then she isn’t left alone to make decisions until she is. You are the parent. You only lose control when you give up. Dig your heels in and show her how much you love her. Let her know that you will fight to be sure that she makes good choices and turns out to be a productive respectful person. Don’t make her think she isn’t worth your effort. Self worth, self esteem and self respect are learned through you. You are her teacher. These years are shaping her. She needs your love, support and most of all discipline. Push back harder everytime she pushes you. If you give up and throw her out she could end up in many dangerous situation. There are so many deranged people in this world just waiting for girls like this to “need” them. You will never forgive yourself if something like that were to happen. You are the mom. You make the rules. Take charge and let her know you will do whatever you have to do to make sure she makes safe choices. It’s not easy. I raised 2 girls. They can be so evil. Lol
I promise you though, you will not regret fighting her every step of the way in the end if you put your foot down. Good Luck momma! You got this! 
She’s 14 years old. That’s literally child abandonment and illegal.
Also it’s illegal for you to kick out a minor so you could get in legal trouble but maybe that’s what you need since you are to lazy to actually parent your kid.
Good Lord. She’s only been alive for fourteen years, she doesn’t know her arse from her elbow. She needs you.
At 14 you can’t do that. Your daughter will end up in foster care and you would be in a lot of trouble. I want to type more but I physically can’t at the moment. Telling her to pack her bags is a terrible idea, you’re giving up. Who knows what would happen to her at that age.
Shes 14 do not put her out on the streets… if she has problems you need to be her parent and help her.
where would she go? Thats child abandonment. be super careful. get her to therapy and you too.
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My mum kicked me out for smoking at age 15. Never lived with her or spoke to her again.
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My mom kicked me out at 13 for drinking, smoking and weed. I left and came begging back after my friends parents didn’t want me eating all their food without any source of income. It smartened me up a bit then ya know did more bad shit as I got older, realized that I have to stop being a fuck-up. I’m a crisis counsellor now and got my shit together. It could really work against you or in your favour. At this point you just never know, we can only hope they grow up to be open-minded and learn from it or they end up being close minded and blame everything on you as a parents and fall deep into a risky life style.
I hope whatever you choose works in your favour because we all don’t raise our kids to be addicts on the streets. Much love 
Yes you are wrong…she messed up so you throw her out??? Ya she’s definitely feeling the love and acceptance a mother should have…