I seriously don’t understand parents that kick out there children when it gets a little bit tough. This is why these young people are so hopeless… they get away with everything. No proper role models. When they get older no respect for orthority, cause why would they, the parents won’t dissapline there kids. Should definitely be a license to have children 
It’s so hard raising teenagers! My 2 adult son, I basically controlled their lives, when “I thought” I was doing right! Now my teenager son, I let him know about the “choices” he can make on his own, but, wat comes with the “choices” are consequences to follow!! It takes alot of communication, trying to trust your child, as they explore this world! The more committed you are in your relationship with your children, the better! Communication is key! I hope things will look up for you❤
Put her ass on damn lockdown take away phone computer access.
You should be ashamed. She’s 14 and you already can’t take it? Someone needs to come get your kids and you might need to seek help. Geez. Sorry for the brutal honesty.
A hard age…
Keep going…
Recently my now 22 year old daughter thanked me for always being there for always caring for being nosy and in her business as she looked back she saw that she was the lucky one not her friends whose parents gave up or didn’t care
Keep going
You break her legs Sophia Poulos
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Pack her bags? Do you know the human trafficking going on right now!? Put in in fucking rehab and ground her; don’t put her on the street, wtf is wrong with you!
Wow 14? If you don’t want your child headed down the wrong path do not kick her out. Doing so may push her to do undesirable things to have to take care of herself. Why not try a family therapist to help you communicate with your child.
My parents kicked my brother out around 16 or 17 and he ended up on meth and killed himself. Ended up living with the kids he ran away with all the time and ended up down the wrong path. Think hard about leaving your daughter in the streets.
It’s called rebellion, if you dont know how to be a mother to your 14 year old daughter who needs her mother more than anything. What are you even doing
Put her in a scared straight program at at prison close to you.
Be all up in her shit all the time. No privacy no phone you drop her off at school you pick her right back up ect ect
I don’t have to read 600+ comments to know you just got eaten alive! Parenting in not a chance to be a cop out, do your job for goodness sake!!
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You are absolutely 100% in the wrong here. There’s 1000 better ways you could’ve handled this than kicking a 14-year-old child out.
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At least ground her from seeing friends or something but telling her to pack her bags is way over board . Maybe try to go to counseling together might help
Okay remember you’re not only the parent you’re the boss of this household and lay down some rules and some disciplinary measures she wants to be tough you’ve got to get tougher and believe me it is for her own good she may not see it now but she will in the future you just got of lay down the rules and enforce them
I went thru this 3 times! I raised 3 children. Let me tell you this. I was mom, not their best friend. When they didn’t abide by my rules, I went in harder. I chased them down, threw them in my vehicle. I kicked down doors and took my kids out of skank places! I sent them to counseling as a family. I grounded them, took away privileges. I even sent my 2 sons to a private boys school. My daughter, she wasn’t too bad. She skipped school and I went everyday with her, sat next to her for a week. You have to be able to fight the fight. Today, my grown adult children thank me for being that hard core mother. Not one on drugs, not one in prison. Kicking her out will only bring harm, and that you will never forgive yourself.
My mom kicked me out in the streets at 14 yrs old. I couch surfed for 2 years. Had 2 jobs, went to school and rented my first apartment when I was 16 yrs old. Finished HS, got pregnant and had a baby at 19 yrs old. Put myself through college for Nursing. I drank, smoked pot, but I never forgave my mother for what she done to me. Still to this day, we aren’t close, but she didn’t break me!
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I can’t believe that you kicked her out . No wonder why she listens to her friends and not you . If she wants to smoke then let her earn the money for it . Its pretty clear that you guys need help . You are so much in the wrong . Your basically puting your child in danger by putting her in the streets do you not think about how she can get hurt by the street when parenting gets hard you go for it .you don’t quite . When it comes to parenting a child there is no book of instructions you have to go for it if her dad is around have her go to him . Or some other adult who can understand her and help her.
Yeah your wrong you can’t kick a 14 year old out
It’s challenging years, but I personally feel that your daughter needs you more than ever at this point. Do your best to get her immediate help, get her rushed into an urgent program. I’ll pray for both of you for things to get better for both of you. Please being her back home, it would be tough, but at the end your daughter would thank you dearly for the good you have done for her.
Take away devices, ground her, get her into a support group. If she wants to act like an adult and make her decision, treat her like 1. Give her a bill to pay like a $50 bill. Have her go around the neighborhood and have her mow the lawn take the trash out or something on weekend when youre with her. If she wants her clothes washed make her do it herself with her own laundry detergent. She want dinner she has to figure it out. She wants something from the store she better have the money. She wants her phone she better pay the bill. I know kids who were in the wrong crowd and they got jobs or activities that occupied their time and they were better after. Treat her like an adult but also be her parent. Your the adult and she’s the child.
Pretty sure kicking out a 14 year old is extreme so I would maybe see a therapist because it’s clear you’ve got some underlying issues.
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You told a 14 year old to pack their bags? Because they smoke? Wtf
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i think she’s too young to be kicked out. look here ur not wrong for setting ur foot down, just ur timing is bad. i know sometimes it feels like u can’t do it anymore, but yes u can, and u should, bcz in the end if something happens and she ends up in the wrong hands then this will be on you. if u think ur not wrong for wanting her out of the house if her disrespect continues, so u will, ok, but find her a program or a family member’s place u can trust. listen to this, this is the result of ur parenting mistake that u had to correct since the beginning, not now. of course we are not perfect, i’m sure u meant well, but if things went wrong then find out where it did and start there, it’s not too late. but u can’t fix it in a hostile way, that’s not what she needs right now. she needs a well-grounded strong mother, but she also needs a good friend, and she’s not finding it in u right now, so she’s looking elsewhere. don’t listen to the people that are saying to be harsh on her, believe me it will only drive her farther away. talk to her without judging her. ask her why she’s doing it without giving ur opinion on it. let her find solutions and negotiate with her. above all pray, and also seek help bcz u need guidance, and only God and pros can help u both right now. don’t leave her on her own, at least not til she’s older, bcz she still doesn’t know how to be on her own and believe me in today’s world she may be dead the bext day she’s out ur door
Pack her bags to…where? You are the parent? Ground her from her friends, spend more time with her, do anything but kick her out. She is legit 14.
Kicking a 14 year old out for smoking probably isnt the smartest thing to do. Keep her from her friends, take the door off her room, do whatever you can to get her to listen but putting her on the streets and letting her make her own decisions isn’t gonna do anything but make her think she’s grown. Right now you’re dealing with cigarettes, put her on her own and you’ll have alchohol, weed, sex and who knows what else to deal with.
You seriously kicked your FOURTEEN year old out over cigarettes??? Sign over your rights bro bc that child needs a parent not someone who’s gonna throw them to the curb bc shit got hard
I lost my family at 15 they were abusive to the point I was on the street at 15 don’t be one of those people -.-
My sister is 13 she acts like she grown I done went down a fucked up road. My little sister thinks she gonna run all over people. I done told her lil ass I’m not the one I don’t play!! You are the patent buck up bust her ass && make her listen!!! That’s what’s parents are for!!!
She is your child.
- Go through her phone.
- Contact the parents of her friends and let them know the information you have found out.
- Search every nook and cranny of her room, take the drugs if you find any
- Clear her room of any nonessential item she has
- Take the door off the henges
- Tell her she can start earning the belongings and privileges back (last of which should be the phone and freedom) after she proves herself trust worthy.
If she leaves, report her as a runaway. I know it’s tough, people don’t want to do this. I get it. But your child could potentially die if you give up on her. It seems like you’ve been through a lot but giving up and telling her to pack her bags was a bad call. You can do that at 18 when it’s legal for her to move. At the very least put her in the foster system if you don’t want to deal with her. Saying that probably made her feel unwanted. Set boundaries, hold firm, and see them through. Otherwise she’s facing death if not worse.
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As every other person has stated, it’s poor parenting to throw a 14 year old out, pretty sure that’s a cps case against you. And that’s a good way to find out your child is dead on the streets somewhere. Be the parent and break out the tough love, she needs a parent not a friend. She also needs someone who isn’t going to give up when things get tough. I have siblings that age and my parents would NEVER even consider tossing them out for any reason, they would discipline them and be the parent they need. She doesn’t have to like you, one day she will look back and thank you though. Take her door off, strip her room down to nothing, don’t let her see or speak to friends, so many options other than throwing her out🤦🏻♀️
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She’s a child pushing her boundaries, kicking her out is ridiculous, your a parent, you parent through bad times not just good times. Put your big girl pants on and be a mother.
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My son just turned 14 and idk what i would do if i found out he was smoking, i would be heartbroken. But i could never see kicking him out as an option. Where do you go at 14?!
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She is 14 you carnt just kick her out I woukld ground her take all her technology off her and take it from there
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I was kicked out at 12-16, evil step mom and what not, I have no idea how many times I went hungry. Anyway, kicking her out at 14 and she’s already smoking, the friends that will house her from time to time will be the ones doing drugs😕 she will get worse. Take everything from her, ship her to family elsewhere while you still can have control
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Pack her bags? That’s YOUR child… That’s YOUR responsibility, don’t try to find the easy way out.
You need to figure out the root of the problem!
When your child feels like you are against them, they move farther away from you and go deeper onto the wrong path! You don’t have to be a “bestie” but you do need her trust!
Send her to boarding school
Really? Kicking her out for smoking? Not only seems harsh but unnecessarily cruel…ground her, tell her she’s not allowed to hang out with that group and confiscate her electronics, like a normal person…if you kick her out and she ends up on the street, you will end up.in jail for abandonment, endangerment, and neglect
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Yes u are wrong, she’s 14, come on, do u smoke, she’s ur yungun don’t give up on her at 14
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SHE’S FREAKING 14!!! No 14 yr old listens to their parents or they do the EXACT opposite. My mother got mad at me and kicked me out at 15 to live with my dad. It still hurts 26 yrs later.
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Yes, you’re very wrong for doing this and it’s going to be an action you’re going to deeply regret.
Try parenting from the place and space of love instead of the place and space you’re currently parenting from.
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Call the cops on her for smoking underage. Then have them explain to her the consequences if they find her with drugs on her.
Also some advice from someone who used to smoke, you will carry it with you forever, it ages you faster causing wrinkles on your face is terrible for your skin, turns your finger nails yellow, you will ALWAYS stink like cigarettes. And if you do actually manage to quit, you will think about it every day. Honestly if you look around you can TELL what people have smoked since they were 14 or younger (I started at 13) … I can never take back the damage already done. I don’t have a single friend that I spend time with from that age, but I have my cigarette addiction still. Even if I’m quit smoking.
Oh no! You don’t pack up and give up, if you think you have problems now, it will be far worse if you do this. Kids that age think they know it all, but they shit scared inside, unsure of themselves. You need to find every possible method to help her now. My son tried smoking at 14, my husband did the craziest thing, he shaved off all his hair, did not take away phone on condition no passwords. Bathroom and rooms became keyless. Today thank God , he is in such a positive space, a leader. Never give up, never stop praying and never curse. Don’t give up your power , you are the adult.
Sorry but rude…where are you when she started this type of activity?why u are not concerned about the changes? And why u can’t checked her friends…??I advised DNT kicking her please… please give her friendly environment at home…not judging all the time give her love and care…
Ground her tell her phone and all her other things away and keep her away from those friend also do a drug test on her now and then
also try get in contact with the friends parents to inform them about their kids u the parent not her
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I can’t imagine this situation being easy. I started smoking pot at 13 and I did eventually stop. I can’t imagine my kids doing what I did. They are still very young though. But also, my kids are being raised in a different environment than I was. I don’t have any advice, except that I think the last thing your daughter needs is for you to push her away. My mom did. Best of luck 
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My oldest daughter is 14 and I can’t imagine my life without her the truth is what teenager didn’t try smoking it’s called peer pressure the best thing for you to do is just be there for her but also be firm with her if your worried she is up to more put her in a scare straight program or check your local military base and see if they have any programs that is designed to help teens and or get her involved in other programs that helps others some places in the nursing homes has adopt a grandparent program or get her interested in other things that keeps her busy but kicking her out is just a wrong move for her and for yourself
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Sounds like a normal 14 year old tbh rather them have the fruits of life than them sitting in there room Al day
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Kicking your 14 year old out is not the answer to anything. Your the adult you punish her not abandon her. All teens go through a stage of rebellion , but we as adults are supposed to handle that accordingly. Get Counseling, take her electronics, ground her, cut her off from those friends. Honestly sounds like you may need to take some classes an Counseling too
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You can’t abandon your 14 Yr Old WTF is wrong with you!!
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This is the wrong way to go about it. Don’t kick her out. She needs more attention, care, love and supervision. If you kick her out, these friends will have even more influence in her life. Stay the course. Love her hard, even when loving her is hard!
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Pack her bags at 14? Where is going to go? I think u need to look st ur parenting rather then her behaviour
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Oooh teens from hell, what else is wrong?
Threaten to kick her out, let her pack her bags and walk out the door. Before she leaves ask her if she is sure she doesn’t want anything to do with her family anymore. Hopefully the shock will make her see sense.
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Take her bedroom door off, privacy is a privilege, not a right. Make her earn it back & hope she respects you the way kids SHOULD be with their parents. YOU are the parent, head of household, YOU pay the bills & do the upkeep of the house, YOU are in charge… NOT HER!! Good luck. 
OH, btw… look into parenting classes. They could help.
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Take away all her electronics and privileges… that is all you can do at this moment. I understand as a parent myself you feel angry and disappointed at her and i know as a teenager she is lashing out at you for just breathing, its hard but kicking her out is not the best option and it will make things worse… you will have to set rules and boundaries under your roof and take away all luxuries that you have given her if she disrespects you. The smoking is a fase and hopefully it will pass because she is doing it to impress her really bad friends.
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I stopped caring after you said you want to kick her out… way to educate your child.
How about you parent up and do your job. You don’t throw the whole kid out for minor rebellion
Oh instead of yelling at her try explaining to her why you don’t want her smoking and show her the results
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Please don’t kick her out. I’m only 24 and have no children and I may not be qualified to give advice. I have never smoked but I’ve done some pretty dumb things as a teenager and can’t imagine where I’d be today if I was kicked out instead of being punished and disciplined.
show her all those videos of how people end up or heck i tell her how my grandmother died from stage 4 lung cancer because of smoking and how it traveled to her brain and caused seizures so in the end stages she couldn’t even talk to us… maybe that will scare her enough to stop
Kids nowadays hav no respect they think they can do and say what they want thats all you get now you’re not allowed to do that ill fone childline punishment nowadays are out the window
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100% wrong🤦🏼♀️ wtf are you thinking? Jesus. I didn’t realise smoking was such an offense.
How is she disrespectful? Does she do it in the house if youve asked not to, does she sneak around? 14 is a hard age, don’t make it harder for! She’s got a mind of her own now
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I honestly think if you say pack her bags she’ll be like right ok go go stay with a friend or someone and do what she wants falls of the rails she needs someone there to guide her and advise her!!! This is not right! We going into lockdown for two weeks this is the perfect time to have together in the house talking and discussing things!!! Xxxxx last thi n you want is her getting addicted to drugs or anything else not going to school because nobody’s helping!! Xxxx such a hard one my daughters 10 couldn’t even imagine this xx
How the hell does a 14yr old afford smokes??? Most adults can t afford the $30-40 a packet. Stop giving her money, her friends will get the shits with her scabbing problem solved.
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I started smoking at 13, based on experience the more you tell her not to the more she’s gonna do it. Plus, it’s illegal to kick out a minor. My mom got several tickets for child endangerment doing so.
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How does she afford to smoke?
Chelsea Harper kicked out at 14 
You’re her legal guarden so you can tell her to pack her bags all day long but at the end of the day she can’t be out on the street, if she gets in trouble with the law no matter what she goes right back to you and they will tell you she can not be legally kicked out until 18!!! Obviously there is other solutions to this
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Yes you’re wrong. You are her parent so parent her! She’s not a toy that’s broken so needs throwing away she’s a child. Step up and sort it properly.
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Don’t kick her out, give her rules, if she wants to smoke then she doesn’t smoke in the house and you don’t provide the money for her to buy them, she’s your child and yes they can push boundaries and that but kicking her out will make her go down a path you might regret in the future.
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What the actual fuck?! She’s FOURTEEN. This is disgusting. Step the fuck up and be a parent, not a deadbeat. Discipline not desertion.
I just don’t understand how anyone could tell their 14 year old to pack their bags… sounds to me like there’s a huge disconnection here with relationships and parenting. Maybe call children services and tell them this and she won’t be left high and dry and homeless at 14. They’ll place her in foster care, hopefully with people who actually want to be parents. Oh by the way, she’s 14! She won’t accept help from anyone? She’s not an adult. You decide what she does, not her for another 4 years. I know how hard it is, my son is 18. He also experimented with drugs and smoking. I got him counseling for free through my state. A counselor came out to our home twice a week. I also sent him inpatient twice. He’s doing much better now and graduated this past summer.
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I definitely wouldn’t be kicking her out! she Could do Worse things with she isn’t in ur Care…
at the End of the Day she is ur CHILD! Give her rules. Dont GIVE her money to Buy them. Tell her while she is in ur Care you respect The rules. no Smoking in the House or ur Bedroom. take away her privileges
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You can’t kick her out shes only 14, she’s your responsibility until 18 years of age, its a teenage faze most kids go through it she has two choices either she will quit on her own or continue, you have to tell her she gets a partime job to keep up her habit and continue with school and homework. She will find this rather stretching and give up.
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Claire Martin i wouldn’t send her to boarding school thats worse.
Maybe you need help raising your daughterto be in contact with her?
The only solution you can think of is to throw her out of the house? To go where?
When my son started smoking at the age is 15, I said to him: you know I don’t want that - we kept talking about it- but I can’t follow you behind every bush, it is your responsibility.
Today he smokes little, but never in front of my eyes.
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Be a parent…dammm…
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Personally I wouldn’t kick her out she is only 14. I would definitely look into some serious rules. And some consequences aswell. And if you feel maybe some counselling may benefit her then 100% go for it.
But I do also think that maybe you as a mummy might need some aswell and then aswell as looking at some family sessions with your daughter because I feel there is a massive disconnection between you two that can most definitely be resolved 
best of luck! But don’t give up and allow her to just become a homeless young teen who is going to do some drugs because she is a kid she needs her family and her mumma ads much as they think they don’t at that age! Push through stay strong!
Hazel Fritz thanks for not being this mum and kicking me out at 14 over cigarettes lol
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Wow thank God my dad didn’t kick me out when I got pregnant at 14. Smoking is bad yes but some things kids have to learn on their own. Ground her, take her phone, and don’t give her any money
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You dead wrong!!! She need help, love and discipline. Plus its illegal what you are doing!
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Rocky Keeton thank you for loving me and never giving up on me.
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I think you are trying to regain control and I applaud you for that. Think about the bigger picture here though. If you kick her out and something happens to her you would never forgive yourself. What I would do is set strict rules and make her abide by those rules. If you pay for her phone, tell her if she wants to smoke like an adult she can pay for her phone, car, gas, whatever she needs. Don’t pay for anything except basic food items. Be strict but don’t kick her out the door unless she seriously does something that is very disrespectful like hitting you or cursing you out etc…
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You can’t tell your minor to go away an become a runaway: homeless person. Don’t let her use whatever she wants. If she doesn’t listen to you that’s bad. Take her phone away. She might get mad at you for that. And tell her if she doesn’t behave she can’t have her phone back. Don’t make her pack up her things.
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Kicking her out to live on the streets at 14. Let me be very brutally honest about what happens to those girls who their parents do this…they get raped, trafficked, involved in gang lifestyle, hard drugs, pregnant, crime life, ect. You need to be a parent and it needed to start from the beginning of her life. This is the problem i see daily with my profession. Rules and responsibilities are so important from day 1 not all the sudden when they are acting out as teens. Counseling as a family and hard boundaries. Dont give up and take the easy way out. Youll never live with yourself if you kick her out and she is hurt or killed.
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She’s your daughter. Be her Mum.
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Ermmm yes you are wrong 
lots of other ways to solve her behaviour not just kick her out.
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If you’re willing to throw out your 14 year old child you may need to do some self reflection. Root issues often start from lack of emotional trust in a parent.
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Not too much condemnation, it doesn’t work. Grounded (whatever works for her).,with positive ways to earn her way out. Just remember you are the mom, she is the child.
And say what you mean, and mean what you say, or it’s not going to work.
I’ve already raised my kids! They turned out okay. 
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I dont have to much advice. But i just wanted to come here and say, whatever it comes down to. There are a lot of options that keep your child at home. Whatever you do please never consider wilderness or residential programs. They trick parent and abuse kids for profit. Often leaving the kids with major issuea after getting out. Love to you mama. I hope you guys can find options that work for you
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I’d rather my daughter smoke… Than become street entrenched… You’ve onky got a few precious years to build a strong trusting and nurturing relationship with your kids… If you push them away… They might possibly never come back
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Don’t throw her out take her to a nursing home or a veterans home and let her see the smokers that are 70 and 80 ask them what they think in front of her change her mind I guarantee
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I wouldn’t kick her out. You need to be there for her no matter what, she’s your daughter. On the other hand she needs to know who is boss!
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Respect the rules of the house or don’t live in it was the law in my family…
However she is quite young…
And vulnerable.
My daughter was older when she became very ungrateful as we were supplying her with apt and college funding, utilities and phone,
Moved a “bad boy” in and tried to hide it!!!
Her neighbor complained,
When she did the eye roll when confronted, all funds were cut “immediately”,
Without a free ride the boyfriend moved out and I never went back to paying her bills. She grew up and after a few years , all is well!
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Well technically you can’t throw her out cause she’s a minor . Although you can get a probation officer and teach her that in this country she isn’t the boss of herself until she’s of legal age !! Throwing her out will only push her to end up on the street on drugs and I’m sure you don’t want that . LAY THE LAW !! You are the parent she is the child !!
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Tough love sometimes works. But kicking her out at 14 is a bit much. There are other ways.
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Take her phone, internet and privileges. Smoking leads to a rocky path if her friends are doing drugs. Chances are, she has already. I did random drug test for my step daughter. It kept her in line. At least till she moved out.
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I would start with getting her some counseling and restricting where she can go and when. She wouldn’t be able to use her phone or have any extras and she would do additional chores around the house. She can’t smoke and do drugs if she doesn’t hang out and doesn’t have money so I would make sure she couldn’t do those things. As a parent I don’t think kicking her out of the house because she won’t listen is the solution. There’s a deeper reason why she started to smoke and do drugs so talking to her about the why can change a lot.
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Completely in the wrong here. She is 14 and doesn’t understand what is happening inside of her brain. Try family counseling. Get her into therapy. There is an issue that she isn’t telling you. Help your child, don’t abandon her.
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I am now homeschooling my daughter because she couldn’t make good choices being in school and with her friends. I told her I’m not waiting for her to get hooked on drugs or pregnant. Since I took her out, doing community service with her and church and schooling, she has changed for the better so much! Problem is, adults are letting their kids make adult decisions and they are not adults! Stay hard on her mama, YOU know what’s best for her!
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Having her pack her bags isn’t the right decision especially for a 14 year old. Once she’s out life will become worse for her and that could possibly lead to her life being in danger. She needs to be separated from the group she’s hanging out with because they’re the reason for her bad decisions and constant disrespect. Once she’s separated from that group and is around better role models her behavior will change. Her behavior in that age is normal and a phase she’ll grow out of eventually. she’s trying to figure herself out and needs your patience, love, and support.
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